Newspaper Page Text
Li
As *-.
BEST HUMOR, MOVINO
PICTURES, VAUDEVILLE.
SUNI
m
RICAN
ATLANTA, GA., SUNDAY, MAY IS, 1913.
Ponies and Carts!
Where is the boy or girl who
wouldn ’t like to drive one of
them. The Sunday American
and the Georgian are
Giving Them Away
f
Sam the Drummer
By T. £. Powers, the Famous Cartoonist--
right. 1&18. by th# Star Company.
Urea*. Britala Right* RM«r*ad.
Wonders the Universe-
By
Anthony H. Euwer
No. 1—THE STORK.
M AYBE you don't believe In Sainta Claus, or fairy tales, or Mrs.
Eddy, but if you have any sianse at all you’ve Just got to believe
In the Stork. As the dog is. the friend to man, so the Stork is
the godmother to the huptan race. JCnown of all climes, she is a bird
rarely seen by man on account of hpr nocturnal habits. Still, judging
from her progeny, it Is a safe guess ithat she outnumbers the mosquito
in multitude.
Protected in most countries by general consent, the Stork is eonsld
ered a game bird in others. In France maxi in New England there Is even
a bounty on its head, the inhabitants gunning for it all seasons.
Though the adult Stork is vocally chitinb, its young give forth musical
notes in infinite variety. Just here, too, is a funny thing the young bear
no resemblance to the mother bird—no more than does the tadpole to the
parent frog or the larva to the full blown, butterfly. In fact they look
more like a human bf»ing. As they
develop the parental likeness be-
I
comes even less pronounced, ex
cept for the pin feathers on the
top of the head and an uncon
trollable desire to devour what
ever may come within reach.
We now find ourselves face to
face with the query—is the grown
up Stork a different species from
its own offspring? The only au
thentic records of a Stork’s ap
pearance at ail, obtained from
comic weeklies, would indicate
that it is at all times a matured
fowl. It is, Indeed, doubtful if
any one can swear that such a
thing as a youthful Stork exists.
Can it be then that this remark
able creature enjoys an eternal
prime not young nor old nor ever dying, yet forever giving increase?
Observations would seem to justify this incredflble conclusion
Like the cuckoo, the Stork is capricious. She refuses utterly to
care for her young, although she conscientiously attends to having them
cared for.
This great refusal to care for her young has long puzzled Ornithol
ogists. At a second glance, however, the reason seems obvious. Nests
made of sticks and stubble and other field bric-a-brac are likely to prove
most irritating to little pink and tender skins. Drafts blowing through
these cracks would bring on croup In no time, while a diet of worms, frogs,
mice and bugs would put their august digestions on the blink in short
order. And even if one little Romulus could weather such fare, what
about the responsibility of caring for three or four or a dozen at a time?
And what about the lonely fathers and mothers who would be waiting to
Copyright, 1*11. by th* Star Company. Great Britain Right* Reserves.
adopt the little pets? Come to think of it, looks like the Stork was a very
sensible fowl after all.
When it is noised about that the Stork is in your vicinity, it is barely
possible that you will be able to see the beautiful creature during the
early evening twilight. At these times they do a good deal of preliminary
Hying about the neighborhood to get acquainted with the various families.
They are then able to match up the tiny toodlums with the folks they
most like. This proves that the Stork does not wantonly distribute its
treasures at random, as some have supposed.
Vested with such responsibility, however, the Stork, as a distributing
agent, cannot be too careful. It would be well if the following rules were
more closely observed:
Never leave a parcel at the home of a bachelor.
Always find out if the little tyke is wanted, or if it's just because it's
the fashiox
If something's wanted, is a noy or girl preferred’
Twins should never be left unless especially ordered, and triplets for
museum purposes only
In case of poor families, do not leave any more Ilian can properly bo
taken care of, whether they are wanted or not.
Should a red, yellow or chocolate-colored specimen appear In 1 «
hatching, do not rest until you have done all In your power to n o i
carefully. Families properly tinted can always be found in the neivii. •
hood if you look hard enough.
Never use soothing syrups of any kind as a pacifier. The best are
deleterious.
All goods left at owner’s risk.
No goods exchanged. No alterations.
How I Became a Tragedian
By JAMES T. POWERS,
The World’s Foremost Exponent of the HeaVy Stuff.
Copyright, 1913, by the Star Company. * Great Brttaln Rlghta Reserved
W HEN I was a boy father took me to all the traveling circuses and
Punch and Judy shows. They were so tragic that a deep
note of sadness was planted In my anatomy—to say nothing of
the meloncolic caused by the pink lemonade—sadness, I say, which has
never been uprooted, except one 4th of July, when I nearly separated
my skeleton from my circulation.
You see, I used to he a cracker fiend In my juvenility, and I ate every
kind of cracker that came along—even fire-crackers. And then mother
had to go and blow me up for it.
Well, to get back to the stage of the stage, 1 might say that my great
success as Hamlet is due to the fact that I lived In one throughout my
tender years. I never saw the white lights until I reached my tough
years. Even as a child I realized that if I wanted to act like Hamlet,
Prince of Denmark, I'd have to have a Great Dane follow me around.
So I bought one. Pretty soon you could see prlntB of Denmark all over
town. .
I next found a little soubrette, divorced her from the cowshed, and
led her around with me to play Ophelia We played all the church
I sociables within a radius of—well, within a pretty big radius for those
days—and we were voted the theatrical knockout of the county. Ophelia
would carry a basket of carrots, and sigh, "He loves rne ntt.” Then 1
would sing, "Who's looney now?” Then a quick curtain and we would
escape by the rear door.
In Shylock, the Merchant of Venus, I played the part of Epictetus. Of
course Ep died before the French Revolution, but this was a revival.
As long as I decided to play the Eyo-talian shows, 1 thought it would be
a good idea to kill two guineas with one bomb, so I combined Shylock
and Jule Caesar. There was bound to be a yell by the partisans of Shy
and Jule as to the scene of the show, whether we played in Venice or
Rome, you know, so I compromised by staging it in Naples.
In the assassination scene, Shylock didn’t have any trouble In getting
his pound of flesh. He carved off about five lbs., but he couldn't keep it
long owing to the high cost of ice.
1 have found that one of the essential factors that manes for success
as a great tragedian Is not to let the people know about It. I have never
worn a fur coat, a high hat nor long hair, because then you look like a
tragedy when you’re on the street. Consequently when you appear
before the footlights there’s no surprise to the audience. You look just
the same, and they say, "Why pay money when we can see the boob
outside?”
It is very Important for tragedians to have a thorough knowledge of
chemistry, and to know all the successful antidotes which will com
promise with the various chemically active suhstanees thrown hv the
audiences.
Every morning for breakfast I read all the murders, suicides and j
death notices, so 1 can feel nice and morbid when I appear on the stage
muffled in a cloak. It’s astonishing how familiar I am with the horrible j
department of the newspapers. I have often thoughtt that when I quit
| acting I'll apply for a job with some paper as morbid editor.
Far be it from me to boast of my bravery as a tragedian. I have
faced the fiercest of audiences, however, and am still alive. Outside of
myself, the world has never seen a greater Hamlet titan I am. As for )
• the future, well, I'm still living. Of course I uln re Shakespeare, if
only for what he Pus done lor me. Even at that it is^hardly as much
as I’ve done lor him. I
Modern Church Notices
(As Read from the Pulpit of the First Utilitarian Church by the
Rev. Eugenlck Uppen-Cummln.
“O
. N Tuesday evening at
half after sqven, the Ju
nior Class in Horticul
ture will meet In the church Ar-
boraetum.”
Copyright. 1913. by the Star Company. Great Britain Rights Reserved.
"On the same evening our Home
and Foreign Mission Society will
meet in the church vestry from 8
p. m. until 8:10 p. m., after which
our class in Eugenics will listen to
a lecture from Dr. Mary Walker,
Theodore Roosevelt and Yogi Ah-
"On the samp evening, at the kandl Delee Rium, of Fakhlr,
same hour, the Young Men's class India."
In Water Polo will ttold a contest
with the team from the Municipal
Athletic Club In the Aquarium ad
joining our church gymnasium.'’
"On Wednesday evening, at
seven o’clock, the Young Cadies'
Riding Class will meet at the
m roll ndir.g academy on the
Parish House grounds.”
“On Saturday evening our de
bating society will discuss the
question. 'The Distinction Between
Unmorallty and Immorality; Is It
Worth Serious Consideration?’
The decision will be left to the
audience, the winning debating
team to be given a box party at
the Jollity Theatre, followed by a
supper."
"On Thursday evening, at a quar
ter after eight, the Young People's
Dancing Society will begin its
Spring term in the Parish House
ball room. The committee is anx
ious for a full attendance."
"On the same evening, at eight
o clock, the Social Club will hold a
progressive whist party In the Par
ish House banquet hall. A shore
dinner with Bryan Punch will be
served after the game. Everyone
is expected to attend, as the chair
man has secured $1,100 worth of
prizes."
"On Friday evening, at half after
eight o’clock, there will be an old-
fashioned church supper (so-
called) at which the customary
squab, lobster newburg, planked
steaks, truffles, sweet-breads en
brochette, and capon en casserole
will be served. Talent from sev
eral of our leading vaudeville thea
tres has kindly offered to furnish
the cabaret. The supper will be
served until 2 a m., after which
there will be dancing.''
“On the same evening, at 8:80
o’clock the Mothers’ Club will
meet In the Parish House card
room to hear Mrs. G. Ima Korquer
read a paper entitled. ‘Should
Mothers Give Up Five Minutes a
Day to Their Children?’ ’’
“And on this same evening, at
half after seven, the Men's Club
will hold a smoker in the choir
room, where current politics will
be discussed, after which Mr. 0.
Rude Storey, the celebrated racon
teur, will entertain them with his
droll tales."
“On Sunday your pastor will
cupv the sermon hour with a dis
cussion on Induced Cell-reproduc
tion In the Protozoa.’ Mile. Root!
Tootl, the Summer Garden star,
will officiate as soloist.”
"On Sunday afternoon the First
and Second Church golf clubs will
hold a tournament on Deacon Van
J)er Plunk's links.”
L