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E 1 i A 4 I H-.r§ The Manicure Lady By WILLIAM F KIRK “1 THINGS ain t spread out in the world. declared ven the Head Barber *‘J am netting to he more and more of a Socialist every day That old stiff that Juat went out ,« worth about a million dollars and he hasn't Rave me a tip >dnee he has been stopping at the hotel Tils two sons are live wire*. but they make their own nay In the world and It's Just as well 1 11 bet neither of them could Jimmy a dollar out of pap* -oh well, they’ll get 11 all when he kirks off." said the Manicure Lady. But It don’t look like he Is aver go ng to do that little thing.' replied the Head Barber. "The old wart Is as hard to kill as an angle worm You can break one of them into four pieces and every part gets along and seems to he able to take a little nourishment. Just like a full-nixed worm No, 1 guess the old chap will he here till he is around a hundred, and by that time, the way the boys are going, thev will be where they don't need no inheritance Very Funny. "1 have often thought It w-as funny myself. " said the Manicure Lady. “the way some folks has everything they want a nd then don't seem to want any thing That sounds kind of mixed. Oeorge but you know what 1 mean. l>ook at my I’nele Frank, for instance He is so mean. George, that he rolls himself around the parlor In a rubber A Romance oj Great Wealth and the Game of Finance as Played by H What Has Gone Before. -laying it ked heavily the peace of Ft rope Nat han Rothachild is disoon- Id find that Napoleon ha* bu rat forth .111*1 nil i he bank- f»T s outpou ring rif gold for national dr elopmen in l-.'ngiand will be en- tgr»» ml The f»anker hasten* to \Y itarloo. There are the English. vO n have g laranterd to him thii'. the p*u ice of K* rope Hhail he maintained r r un a hell ?ht above the field of bat- tic Rot bach ild *»ees the whole of “ Bo thuchikl sec* that the wealth of ihf world 1 ch in London, his for the lal sing If i *• ran Ire find on the gr« Mind wit the news of the battle Hr IjurriM t<> London, and next m< rning ap peared on the Exchange Th a i night he went to bed $10,#00 OOfl richer. He ven ye ar* later a great banker lef Vienna another Naples another Pn rls and a not her London, and trav- Heel to a little old house in Jew*’ La nr*. In Frankfort-am-Main. It WH s a Hat! ertng of the liouae of Ro h*ch ilrJ I’erhapH some king was ver y hard >re*aed for money "Lit- Hr* Jacob oppose* Solomon * plan to marry < harlotte off to the Duke of raunu*. Hr- is tracked up by Frau (III iuln N ow Go on With the Story. THE FIVE FRANKFORTERS A Nocclization oj the Successful Play of the Same Name Nou) Running in New \ork. By KATHRYN KEY Copyright. 191k, by the New York Even ing Journal Publishing Company. TO-DAY’S INSTALLMENT. There was a moment of absolute tenseness while the aristocrats of Xeustadt Castle walled for their JewiMh bankers to make their way into the seeming peace and real hos- Mred chair so as not to wear out the | tillty of the quiet garden, mgs Poor Wilfred knows that Frank Your true aristocrat, they say, is hws all tha coin in the world, nearly. , indifferent to superiors, amiable to and not * Ion* time «(to he hrecert un 1 equa)s and charmingly affable to in- He for two hundred dollars to print a volume of his poems It seems \N ilfred was over in Boston and met one of them ohtway publishers that will publish any body's poetry If the poet pays for pub lication In advance, and he thought he luat had to have two hundred dollars to was meted out to the Jews was to be the pleasantness of the executioner who asks if he may perform any ser vice for you—and then with grave politeness removes your head. To this there was to he a great gei out bis hook Father tried to tell exception in fa vor of < ’harlotte. w hose h , w tha, no gn.«1 t.uhlmhar done huai dainty prettincas could sweep all he- . , .v,« ka,- au « nn fore ^ in the ,«ocial world, even as pass that way. hut the boy «t on , ^ 8 , lrmolin ,. al , barrie ,. y getting the t*o hunflrefl ao he decided | ln hll chosen rcalm-Hlgh Finance tn braes uncle for it v\ ilfred pnde* When the Jew ish invasion became himaelf. George on the way he goes an accomplished fact. Duke Gustavus about making s touch or asking any | rose with his tinfailing sureness of kmd of « favor. He says that he plans manner to meet the occasion it out careful like Napoleon used to plan My dear Baron.’’ he said, shaking | hands with Solomon quite as one his haitles About a week before he went to see human being greeting another. "I have so often enjoyed your hospitality in *bout thf iwn huntlrci he »rotc a lit- v , th[1 , , am fl ,.]|g ht p ( i to wel- tie poem boosting his dear Uncle Frank Thl* to how it went •' ’Hffv Uncle Frank, to him 1 point with pride He is my uncle on my mother’s side Like her. he ia so gentle and so kind. So noble in his loving, so refined. That all who know him think the work! of him knd love to gratify his every whim His handsome face, beneath a snow- white bead. come you and your brother* to my home. 1 am not quite sure—does Your Highness already know- these gentlemen ?” A Calm Little Snub. With the utmost simplicity the brothers started to shake hands with His Most Serene Highness, who rose if« calm indifference to the proffered greeting, and administered a calm little snub in addition: “Certainly—I' have had the pleas ure. These gentlemen are so very Reminds me of the Caesars that are j kind as to administer my small for tune"— I Solomon spoke suavely, and with grave courtesy—perhaps he thought dead. Almighty Providence 1 always thank Fog sparing through Vhe years m.v Uncle * Frank.’ That's a pretty good boost for the un- observed the Head Barber Nqt Exact. “It sounds all right if you don't know the uncle.” said the Manicure Lady, “but there ain't a line of truth in the poem except that Frank is mother's brother. He Is as much like my dear Ma as apple •ack is like warm milk. Nobody never gratified none of his whims without getting paid for it. and they mostly had to wait for their pay, too. And as far as his.handsome face reminding anybody of the dead Caesar*. ail I’ve got to say is tf-at after the Taesara looked in the j lei titiK it*. I quite understand glass they must have been glad to die bless** oblige." “J guess Uncle Frank must have been wise to the salve in Wilfred's poem, because he ain’t no fool and knows down in hla heart that he is a miserable old skinflint Anyhow, he didn't make no reply to the verses, and when Wilfred went to get the two hundred he didn't gei- nothing except the gate. Yes. in deed. George, the money in this world ain’t divided right If It was, l wouldn’t be setting here broke the day after pay to gloss over the dig. "Not so small. Your Highness!, A very agreeable”— His Highness did not he.Htate to cut this remark short: "Ah. yes. I do not keep track—but I suppose money has a way of accu mulating in the course of centuries.’• Carl, whose family history went Imck so far as a father in a coin shop, longed to stare insolently through his newly acquired quisling- glass at this aristociat wh'*,,; fa.t.- ily and fort at.might be reckoned in terms , f centuries. "It need :ic t always take centu ries,” said Solomon rashlv. strong in the pride of accomplishment. "No." answered the Prince coldly. ’That depends on the method **f col- No- Curses! Josephus Daniels has four boys who were extremely reluctant to leave their home and playmates down in RaleifTi when the time came for rhc4r father to become Secretary of Rut he did understand "Nob! Oblige! ’’ For even when Joining the Duke in forced congratulations on the honor Just received from Vienna, he man aged to convey another barbed «*ting by remarking that "honors that are sought after can hardly be deserved”; while poor, friendly, simple Amschel found himself stranded high and drv in the midst of a, to him, very charm ing conversation, while the Prince and Princess were conducted to thexcastle with due ceremony by Mine. St. Georges and Count Fehrenberg* to rid themselves of the stains of travel. And the parting insult was tangibly conveyed -the Prince and Princess found the stains of travel less ob noxious than the society in which they were for the time compelled to mingle While Jacob stood proudly aloof the Navy. However, they kept back from the undeserved slights which fhp tears until it came to parting were being put upon his rash uncles, with an old colored nurse who had little Charlotte was faring far bet taken care of them since the eldest ter. She was even prettier than w-a| horn and who felt that ahe wa« I Gustavus’ most glowing recollection too* old to come along. The four of her. and she quite won Evelyn’s >ottogster> threw their arms around approval as she stood like a very rose her and it was a sobby occasion in her white taffeta gown, draped Jonathan Daniels, aged 11. was the by a soft green-gauze scarf, while her first to recover h1« speech Said he: pretty girlish face was framed in a Doggone Woodrow Wilson, any great white bonnet covered in misty how!” rose-colored plumes. But suddenly A stroll through the park on the momentous morning that was to determine whether or no this was to be his home for many years. Evelyn’s heart flamed, for Gustavus was complimenting the little Vien nese with an unusual show of ani mated interest. "Baroness, may 1 say that your title of nobility suits you as well as your charming toilet." "And is just as new," laughed Charlotte gayly. “But what Is new can he fitting ” "Is irony a new accomplishment of yours and do you think it fitting for your highness?” Evelyn marveled surely, this lit tle Jewess was no older than she herself was. but she would never dare answer Gustavus with this saucy in difference. even supposing that her wits were nimble enough to compass the merry quips that darted so easily from curving lips aided by flashing eyes. “Compliments may sometimes be sincere.” said the duke. Charlotte answered with a little ehallenge. "I think that depends on who pays them." ’On the contrary—to whom they are paid." There was a deeper note in Gustavus’ voice. Evelyn had been long enough ig nored She plucked a glowing red rose from the fountain—the flower of all in the world most unlike her own demure little self and threw it with gay abandon at her cousin. “You are like me. baroness—I never know when my cousin is serious or joking." "Well." said Gustavus. "very few things deserve serious attention—but charming ladies do! And I should like now to show the baroness our old i>ark because I know it is beau tiful. too- and as like delights like. I know it will please her." Do You Care to Come? Gustavus to ramble through the park with this pretty girl! In sooth and indeed Kvelyn would go too! “Do you rare tit come?" said she. rising. "Yes. indeed' Ah, your highness, how you must love your old home," His highness’ love for his beauti ful home was to he put to the test in a wa v of which he little dreametl; and that test was coming soon—very soon. Hut he answered now with gal lant ry and some emotion: "1 do. I am quite serious in my love- for my old home." Whereupon, with a pretty maid on PLATES Mad* and Dallvarad Sam a Dai DR. E.G. GRIFFIN'S GATE CITY DENTAL ROOMS 24£ Whitehall Street (Ov#r Brown A Allan's) Gold Crowns S4--Bridge Work $4 All Work Guaranteed Moors 1-6 Ptioee M 1703 Sundays 1-1 “NEW HOME”—1018-S See this latest expression of present-day requirements and BUY it. Also NEEDLES, our make, for all machines. We RENT—sale rebate—and repair. Try us. Call, write, or use either phone. The New Home Sewing Machine Co. If Equitable Bldg vHail and Edge wood Ave. cither arm. Gustavus started off for a little stroll through his park on the momentous morning that was to de termine whether this was to be his home for many more years. Stillness reigned in the garden of the broken-armed Cupid for a mo ment after Charlotte left it gallantly escorted by the reigning prince—then a hitter laugh marred the silence, and Jacob scornfully placed his bell- topped silk hat on his head. With solemn precision Fits uncles followed his example. There was no one present before whom they need stand uncovered—the Frankfort hank ers were alone! At last Amschel spoke with injured petulance. "Why do they all go away and leave us? Ah. perhaps Charlotte in terests the duke more than we do.” “Which is quite natural.” answered the pleased father. “And when they are natural, these people ignore us.” said Nathan. Amschel continued to voice his complaint. "I have a feeling all the time that their words are not as polite as they sound. Is that my imagination, or do any of you feel that, too?” That Is Their Game. “Of coarse, we feel it,” said Na than. "And it annoys me to feel— annoyed!” Solomon the wise spoke: "But that is their game—to have us at a disadvantage. Why do you think we were invited here?” “We were invited to lunch.” said Amschel. "Do you know 1 never could come here in a friendly way—not to drop in casually—never!” Jacob broke his silence. Ah. how I dislike being here at all, and the business we have come for—rny grandmother ia right in what she feels, and she has stayed at home. ' "Indeed?” asked Solomon sarcas tically. "Well, you are not a child to hang on to her apron-strings—thougn you have not our age or experience.” "We are all having an unpleasant experience. Whatever I am. I wish I had not come,” began Jacob. Who knows what breach might have come in the family council of the hankers who stood together, never forgetting their father's admonition, that although each separate twig might be weak, a bundle of faggots might scarcely be excelled in strength. But their social ostracism and mar tyrdom ended at this juncture. The situation had weighed heavily on Fehrenberg’s consciousness, sin- * it was. after all, due entirely to lain., so he escaped from the Prince of Klausthal-Agorda with a prompti tude with which one does not often leave even an abdicating monarco. and came back to do the honors of Neustadt for the benefit of his in vited guests. One sad little incident threatened to mar the situation beyond even his diplomatic powers. "May 1 show you our collection of old cpins?” asked he. and then a wave of horrified recollection swept over him—these men were the sons of a little old Jew of Frankfort who had laid the foundations of the family for tune in an old coin shop. "I should say old arms, which might interest you.” And so peace was restored, and the garden left tenantless, as a charm ing place for the duke and Charlotte, who returned just then from the tour of the park. Poor little Evelyn had been dis patched by her kingly cousin to look after their cousin, the Princes of Klausthal-Agonla -*nd even when a. king is also one’s cousin it is wise to obey his royal mandate, especially when one can easily trace the issu ance thereof to a desire to he alone with a pretty rival. “1 have not tired you?” asked Gus tavus with politeness in which there was just a trace of tenderness. Ten derness was an ingredient which he well knew 7 how to mingle in his con versation with a pretty woman. Charlotte answered with the sweet simplicity which would some day make her a dear old lady quite like grannie. “T am not so easily tired. Ah. your highness, 1 like the old trees in the park so much better than these trimmed hedges—they are very won derful.” "Because they are more natural. And 1 think simplicity should appeal to you.” "Don’t you love nature?" When a woman is beginning to feel an inter est in a charming man she likes to assure herself that he likes nature, flowers and children the things dear to her woman-heart. “Yes. But to be perfectly honest, I By BEATRICE FAIRFAX. GET A BOOK. 1 \KAK MISS FAIRFAX •*—' Can you tell ine of any new games they pla\ at parties, and how they are played? Some In which • there will be very Utile kissing, if any. I do not favor these kissing games, and therefore am in trou ble. as there Is to be a party at my home within a short time and l do not know what games to play, as they know all about the old ones. The list you give does not include ana gram*. a very fascinating and wit-de veloping pastime Please omit the kiss ing games. Children under ten have that yrivilege. but it is not the best tas for any one older You will find a complete list of suitable games on any book counter. PAY AT THE TIME. * rxF.AR MISS FAIRFAX: 1 was introduced to a young lady one night, and she handed me a ticket for a dance that her club was giving. After she left some of my hoy friends said I should have paid for the ticket immediately Were they right, or 1. in thinking that 1 should pay for the ticket the next time I meet her? STUPID. It is not a matter of importance. The best way is to pay at the time. It puts a man in a better light and m.ghi.save Small Courtesies By MRS. FRANK LEARNED. Author of “The Etiquette of New York To-day.’ would rather look at a pretty .woman —like you.” This last was very low. hut Charlotte’s small pink ears were attuned to catch it—“than a land scape." Always Back to Women. Charlotte laughed. "Whatever sub ject we choose, you always bring it round to woman.” The old gray stone seat where Eve lyn had lingered a little while ago was now the background for Char lotte’^ newer charms. As the girl lifted her softly tinted face in unconscious eagerness this clever trifier in the butterfly world of pretty women came closer. What a fascinating little witch she was, he thought. Just then Charlotte was not thinking; she was only feeling vaguely, in disturbed fashion, a gentle agitation quite new to her. “Woman!” The duke’s voice thrilled as he spoke the magic word. “Woman! The beginning and end of all. If a man of my age were to talk to you of anything hut yourself he would be a hypocrite.” The duke haa been toying with the great red rose that Evelyn had flung him. Now, with easy familiarity, he brushed it across the girl’s white throat, her delicately molded chin and brought it to rest at last on her curving lips. One does not lightly reprimand a reigning prince. The girl spoke very gently: “Practice a little hypocrisy, please.” Pretty Speeches. “No. You prefer me to be natural, and I want to be what you wish.” “Perhaps pretty speeches are nat ural to you, but I am not used to them.” She looked at the duke with gentle, provoking dignity. “How can that be. if you listen to what people say to von?” “At home they talk very different ly ” “Business always?” laughed the duke. “No. Yesterday 1 talked about music with my Cousin Jacob. He is a friend of the composer Rossini. Oh. 1 am very much interested!” “In your cousin or his conversa tion?” asked the duke, banteringly. Charlotte considered for a moment. ‘‘Well, in both; for. curiously enough, we had never met before.” "Shall we talk about music?” asked the Duke, impatient of the dis cussion of Cousin Jacob or any other masculine intruder. “I am very fond of music, and I prefer the sound of your voice to any that I have heard.” The girl hesitated a moment; then rose and walked to the fountain of Cupid. She sank in evident agitation on its stone edge. and. with a quiz zically tender smile, Duke Gustavus of Taunus knelt on the coping at her side. "Does your reflection please you as much as It does me, for then all your reflections will be fair . indeed ?” h-* said; and, taking the slender hand fn his own steel grasp, he kissed it just where curving arm sloped to dimpled wriMt. Flushing, paling. Charlotte raised her innocent young face to the fasci nating worldly wise one so close to hers, and at this particular psycho logical moment Fehrenberg brought his tour of the castle grounds to a close! Behold the Fates. The Count smiled in serenely ac customed amusement at this tablea of which his» sovereign was a part Solomon joyously beheld the Fai.'s preparing to grant his dearest de- wire. The brothers took .heart of grace from the idyllic scene; but Jacob’s mein was as somber as his black coat. With his heart burning it’s telltale message and his eyes for all, to s*ee, he stood in the shadow of the high old hedge, and in the gloom of the feeling he must never quite acknowledge even to his own yearn ing soul. He must say something. That he wdJL knew, hut what? He cudgelled a throbbing brain; then at last, “a beautiful collection,” he murmured. "And valuable. Of great value.” said the Italian representative Carl, in tones of his Neapolitan art train ing. "1 wonder if they have forgotten lunch!" Was Amsehel’s comment. The Duke became aware of his duties* as* host, and of a little chance to air his new knowledge. "You are interested in art. all art?” he said to the cousin who had in truded on his tete-a-tete for one mo ment. "How can one help it?" answered Jacob. "The expression of the beau tiful—” "And especially in music, I under stand.” “Perhaps—yes. But how could you guess that?” “Your cousin told me." - "Did she?" asked Jacob. So that first conversation meant no more to her than this. She could fell it in an idle- moment to the rule of Neu stadt. to «the man to whom she was to be sold in a marriage that would per haps, after all, riot be a loveless one. Jacob knew he should unselfishly re joice, hut his heart refused to give over its dull aching. The moment svemed to Solomon t*o be a most propltiohs one. "If Your Highness has a few min utes. might we not use them for * discussion of our business?” "Certainly. But the Baroness?” hiiestioaed Gustavus. “May I-—” asked Fehrenberg easily. This daughter of the Jewish banker was a very lovely young woman. "If we are to talk of my affairs. 1 cannot very well spare Count Fehren berg.” said the Duke, conscious that Pehfehhe'rg’s knowledge of affairs in the Duchy was far more extensiv than his own. To Be Continued To-morrow. Those Bulgarian Colors old water com- i: S UFFICIENT, attention is not given to. the little everyday courtesies, the trifles which help to smooth the way and help to win the good w’ill of others. A pleasant hew. a cordial greet ing. a word of thanks expressed at the right moment, a friendly clasp of the hand, these are not difficult things, yet how often they are neg lected. An important small courtesy is the cultivation of a memory for faces and names, to he able to "place” people, as the saying is. to remem ber just where one has met them and with what occasion or special event they are associated. To speak immediately of something in connection with the last meeting, or of something personal in order to show interest, is sure to give pleas ure. A very necessary courtesy is to put others at ease always. If one greets an acquaintance whom he has not met for a long time it is polite to say. "1 hope you remember me. T and Mrs. *’ It is neither courteous nor well-bred to try to puzzle an acquaintance as to ones identity or to say blandly. “Don’t you remember me?” or something equally indefinite, while the troubled acquaintance searches her mind and is ill at ease from sheer forgetful ness. A quick reminder at once as to one’s name is obligatory and opens the way to conversation. Many persons are dilatory about replying io invitations to luncheons, card parties or dinners. although these require answers within 24 horn's at least, as a hcAsiess wishes and to have time to fill places of those who can not come. It is a small courtesy and at the same time a mark of true friendliness and obligingness for a friend to accept with cordiality when asked at the last moment to fill a vacancy. In home life the small, sweet cour tesies need to Ik* practiced. We must Ire polite to the members of our household and not save manners for guests only. Too much is taken for granted in the home circle. Relation ship does not entitle anyone to make rude, sarcastic, critical speeches. If one has to call attention to an error or correct a fault it may be done gen tly. When advice has to he given it is best to give it privately. Up-to-Date Jokes “It’s no use talking." remarked Banks, dejectedly. “It’s impossible to make a woman understand even the first principles of finance.” "What’s the matter now?” inquired Henderson. "Matter!” ejaculated the disgusted Banks. “Why, when I was away yes terday the baby swallowed a dime. And what does my wife, do hut call in a doctor and pay him five dollars for getting that coin hack.” Clergyman (indignantly)—Y'ou say you haven't anything to he thankful for? Why, look at your neighbor Hayes; he has just lost his wife by influenza. Burke—But that don’t do me any good; 1 ain't Hayes. Mrs. Gabbleigh (nudging her hus band. who is snoring)—William, you'd make less noise if you kept your mouth shut. Husband (only half awake)—Sod you. Tourist (to native) What is the object of greatest interest in your town, sir? Native—Well, I should say Old Sol omons, the money lender, is! 4 4 f H AI> to put I presses on George’s head when * it qame home, confessed the president of the club. “He'took it awful ly hard. ” ' - . < “Tom nearly had apoplexy,” put Tn the blonde secretary, gleefully. "I never knew before that a human man could turn so absolutely purple!” ‘ "1 Just took mine out of the box to w f ear to this meetin,” said a mere mem ber. "Walter when he saw it rushed wildly from the house. If I didn’t know that he always calms down after an unsettling shock I should really he , disturbed and wonder whether he ever would come back.” "They always act that way over any- * thing new.” said another member. “Ed gar behaved just the same over the full skirt and then over the skimpy one. over the collar that runs up to the ends of your eyebrow’s and over the Dutch tieck! There is no use pay ing any attention to them!” The door slammed just then and an- « other member almost fell info .the room. She wore on her head a concoction that resembled the famous explosion in a jmint factory ”l'm late!" she gasped. “I thought at first that William had a stroke of paralysis, but when he came to and I found it was only my new spring hat I came away and left him, horrid thing!” "I know just how you feel,” said the blonde secretary. "Now this spring hat of mine is really mild compared with some of the others you see—It hiis only purple and orange and pink -on it— yet you wouldn’t believe the time I had W’ith Tom! J* “After my first tour of the shops I knew I should have to educate him very carefully to the new Bulgarian color scheme of life 1 took to lead ing him by shop window’s and point ing out the loudest examples. After he ceased to halt like a stricken deer with shudders running thrdhgh his frame at sight of a cerisfe strafc w’ith a Washington ntfonument in Syellow run up one side of it. and could View;, with out alarm a grass-gren canoe, with a . masthead Of violet crimson tipped with orange, 1 concluded that the time was at last ripe -to lead him to; the theat4r, “We got there early, so we could the audience gather. Tom sat bofttip- *' right, looking as if he had been stuo^r. * when there floated flown the aislfe r a^' dream of a hat in tho^e wonderful flama color plumes with a bit of palest; |av« ender on the brim. “He groaned aloud. ’ ‘ ' ” 'Why. that's Mrs. .Tippa!' 1 said. ‘They live in the big house at the end of our block, dearest. She must have brought her hat front Paris.’ Awful! Awful! ” ‘She got that in a millinery shop attached to an insane asylum* Tom growled. , “A minute later I directed his at tention to the woman who was tak ing a seat just in front of us. She had on a perfect beauty of a hat—a pur ple straw with roses shaded from pale green through pink and yellow and blue—a work of art, my dear—and I told him that her husband’s income was $100,000 a year and that she once invited me to tea. “If he’s got all that money.’ said Tom feebly, ‘w’hy doesn’t he buy his poor wife a real hat instead of having her wear one made up of scraps from the leftovers of fifteen years? If you had to wear a hat like that—’ Then he stopped and stared. “Three girls had come in together and one of them wore a hat of green and lavender, the second w r ore one pf pink and yellow and the third wore a combination of all the other colors that were left. “ ‘Pity me!’ Tom moaned and beat his hands together. ‘What is this coun. try coming to? Oh, Sadie, take me home, take me ho-o-me!’ "I really felt sorry for him at the ' end of the play when all those women put on their hats simultaneously and the lights were turned. I took him home a saddened and suffering man. Then I sprung my new hat on him next day. “He didn't say anything; He just moaned feebly. Before he caught his breath I instructed him to thank his stars that it wasn’t any worse. You've seen what women can do in the line of hats this year,’ I told him. so re joice that I was as merciful as this! I could have done lots meaner things than get purple, orange and pink" He s beginning to wear that resigned look now!” 'i “They needn’t talk!’ grimly added the woman with the paint factory ex plosion. “They only have to look at. Lhe things—we have to do that and wear ’em, too!” Painful, Trying Times No Thought for Father. “Boo-hoo, hoo-hoo-w’ow!" "Some one is in distress,” I thought. “Boo-hoo, hoo-hoo. boo-h-o-o!” 1 hurried forward to the scene of the catastrophe and was touched to find little Archie crying over the mis fortune of his father, who had slip ped on a banana. "Good little hoy.” 1 said, patting Archie on the back. Tm so glad you didn't laugh, like other little boys would have done, when your father fell down and hurt himself. Does it make you feel so had?” “Y-es. Boo-W’oo-hoo!” “Try to stop crying. Archie." 1 said sympathetically. "He isn't badly hurt." "No. and 1 wish he was." said Ar chie. with a fierce look. “It was my Housework is hard enoqgh for a healthy wo man. 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