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Copyright, 1918, by tho Star Company. Great Britain tlighi* Reserved. 7 The Giraffes That Spindle Up Into a Tower, the Astonishing Aspect of Elephants, the Terrifying Policemen and the Beautiful Tomato Ladies wife or none! But 1 do not expect to uwrry. I am twenty-eight and have not cared for marriage. Bachelor freedom suffices me. One reason I resolved never to whisper in your ear, I save most of it. I’m a good business man. I don’t spend my money on flash jewelry, nor on wine and song and women. 1 am building with my savings a castle on Lake Como, in my native Italy, and there my l^ady of Lyons will be between book covers. A cane? Oh, yes. T need it to keep people away when they press too close, especially the women. are melancholy. 1'eople like to look at midgets. They don’t at dwarfs. That's the reason mid gets get rich. They're a cheerful sight. The world looks all right to me for big clumsy folk like you, just as Texas would be a great State for elephants. They would have so much room to turn around in it. What 1 would like would be to have an island about as big as Coney, build a lot of deceut sized Baron Guiseppe Paucci, the Tiniest Man in the World. By Baron GUISEPPE PAUCCI I AM the smallest man in the world. 1 am 23 inches high and I weigh 17 pounds. Tom Thumb wasn’t a marker. He wa3 30 inches high. One or two inches to you or dinary people who are all built around the same size don’t make much difference. The world was built for your eyes. But to me, who have less than two feet, it is a very different looking place indeed. How would •; elephant look to you if it was big as three elephants piled one another, or a giraffe as tall as hrec giraffes, each standing on one another’s head? Or, better sill, imagine yourself a five-foot 1 person walking around in a world in which everybody is eighteen feet high. The fore-shortening of things is extraordinary. This picture you see of me standing beside the giraffe shows exactly how a Are You FAT? I Was ONCE. I Reduced i giraffe looks to me. One of the clever photographers of this news paper took the picture through my eyes. And I’ll bet you never could guess in twenty years how it was done. It is a real photograph all right. Imagine yourself, a medium-sized person, in a world full of elephants. It is the same way with us midgets. Our greatest fear is that you •ele phantine humans will step on us or crush us to death in a crowd. Otherwise our general feeling to ward you is pity. Pity because you all lotfk alike. You are ordinary everyday individuals. You are monotonous. We are unusual. You walk the streets and nobody looks at you, nobody notices you. Every body looks at us. We are distinc tive. You are the common nouns and we the proper nouns of hu manity. To us you look as the elephant looks to you, coarse and clumsy. Your ears are enormous. Your eyes like moons. Your teeth remind me of the tombstones in a graveyard. They are so large. Some of them look like neglected tombstones, too. There is only one exception to what I have said of you big ordi nary creatures. They are the women. I like women who are round and cushiony, and who have full necks. I admire them, too, with high color. The woman who Is most like a tomato is the most beautiful woman to me. If I ever marry I shall not wed a midget. A full-sized “To midgets you look as ele> phants look to you, course and clumsy. Your ears are enormous. Your eyes are like moons. Your teeth re mind me of tombstones.” marry is that women are so vain. Don’t I see it? They crowd about me and if I lean toward one and kiss her cheek and tell her I ad mire her she nearly faints with joy and pride. She believes me, the featherhead! I generally pick out the ugly ones, but that makes no difference. They are quite over whelmed with joy and from that minute think they’re the most fas cinating women on earth. How could I marry such a woman? Her head would be turned by the next artist she nret at a side show and if he happened to be Eddie the Skeleton, or Jim the Giant, or the Turkish Fakir, who cries “Allah!” when he eats hot coals, what could I do? But there’s compensation for be ing a midget—lots of it. People come to see us and pay to see us. Who shall pay to see you who read what I’ve written? No one. Not a nickel. But they pay so much to see me that I receive a salary of $300 a week, and. lift me up on your shoulder so that I can ‘I admire women who are round and cushiony. A full sized wife or none, for me.” So many of them want to take me up as they would a baby and kiss me. When I was in Paris I sat on my impresario’s knee, and a strange woman came up and swung me off his knee and said, “You dear little darling! Bless’m’s precious ’ittle heart!” I had to remember I was a gentleman, not to slap her fool ish mouth, though she was a Countess. Why can’t they realize that I’m twenty-eight years old? One thing I want you to under stand, you big people are so dull!. That is the difference between a midget and a dwarf. The midget is perfectly formed, but is small. I’m a midget. The dwarf has some thing wrong, generally a hump. Midgets are clever. Dwarfs are dull. Midgets are cheerful. Dwarfs houses, gather lady and gentlemen midgets about me and be their king, as Lebaudy wanted to be tne Emperor of Sahara. Great dream, isn’t it? Cigarettes ? Yes, I smoke ’em, but mostly as an excuse to not answer when people ask silly questions. Don’t smile Ahat superior smile at your superiors. 1 dare you to produce one of your hu man elephants that’s per fectly formed. Bring him on, I’ll wager my castle in Como. that. I’ve got the money in bank to build, that his figure hasn’t the symmetry of mine. Mind you, a midget never gets drunk. Ordinary men do. I leave it to you which is the wiser. ‘Thi» picture of me standing beside a giraffe shows exactly how the giraffe looks to me.” 1 tvas Fat, Uncomfortable. Looked Old. Felt •Miserable, suffered with Rheumatism, Asthma, Neuralgia. When I worked or walked, I puffed like a Porpoise. I took every advertised medicine 1 could find. I Starved, Sweated, Exercised, Doc tored and changed climate, but I ruined my diges tion, felt like an invalid, but steadily gained weight. There was not a single plan or drug that I heard of that I did not try. I failed to reduce NO. my weight. I dropped society, as I did not care to be the butt of all the jokes. It was embarrassing to have my friend* tell me I was getting Stout, as no one knew it better than myself. SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE I began to study the cause of FAT. When I fnseovered the cause I found the remedy. The French method gave me an insight. I improved on that. Removed the objections! features, added more pleasant ones, aDd then I tried m>y plan on myself for a week. It worked like Magic. I could have SCREAMED WITH JOY ®t. the end of the first week when the scales told *ne I had lost te'n pounds by my simple, easy, harmless, Drugless Method. It was a pleasure then to continue until I regained my normal self in size. I feel fifteen years younger. I look Of ten years younger. My Double Chin has entirely disappeared. I can walk or work now. I can climb a mountain. I am normal in size. I can weigh just what I want to weigh. I am master <*f hiv own body now. J did not starve, but ate all I wanted to. I did not take Sweat Baths. I did not Drug. I used no Electricity, or harmful ex ercises, hut I found the Simple, Sane, Common N nsr WAY of reducing my weight and I applied 't 1 have tried it on others. My Doctor says I ;"u a perfect picture of health now. I am no jonuer ailing. I am now a happy, healthy woman. ; x •' 1 am, going to help others to be happy. I ’ written a book on the subject. If you are 1 want you to have it. It will tell you all •'" it my Harmless, Drnglea^ Method. To all who no their name and address I mail it V REE. ,M ong a s the (^resent supply lasts. It will save '•' 1 Money, Save you from Harmful Drug*?. .Save »'r i!u Starvation Diet*, Harmful Exercises, ix»- sa■ e YOUR LIFE. It Is yours for the ask- ,n - vrithout a penny. Just send your name and ’'I less. A Postal <*ard will do and I'll be glad to send it so that you can quickly learn how to v uoe \ouiself and be as hapjiy as I am. Write i.v, as this advertisement may not appear again ;n this paper. HATTIE BIEL, 975 Barclay, Denver, Colo. RUPTURE CURED K" Fif C F ^ Stuart's PIapa o-Pad* means th*t I K t you can throw away the pain. I I^rnful truss altogether, as the ^ I Plapao-Pads are made to cure I rupture and not simply to bold Jit; being self-adhesive and when adhering closely to the 1)0dy slipping Is impossible, efore. they are also an Important factor In retaining rupture that cannot be held by r<£„ b ~l a truss. Ho Straps, buckles or springs- ■ cannot slip, so cannot chafe or press against JnlAl Ar ft I aria A the pubic bone. Thousands •niML OF PLAPAO have successfully treated themselves at home without hindrance from work and conquered the most obstinate cases. Soft as velvet— easy to apply— inexpensive. Awarded Gold Meual. Pro cess of recovery is natural, so no further use for truss. We prove what we say by sending you Trial of Plapao and a most convincing mass of evidence absolutely FRIFQoyou oay nothing for It, now, or ever. Write ycuv name on a postal and mail TODAY, Address. PIudbo Laboratories, Block 435. St. Louis, Mir unpay American^Examincr FXtterns FOUR SIMPLE DESIGNS EASILY MADE AT 9638.—LADY’S HOUSE OB material for a" 36-inch size. HOME DRESS. HITE ratine trimmed with pique embroidered with black dots is here shown. pattern is cut in six sizes—32, 38, 40 and *2 inches bust meas- It requires 6 yards of 36-inch HOME—10 Cents Each. NO. 9613.—CHILD’S DKESS, WITH NO. 9337.—DRESS WITH PEPLDM LONG OR SHORT SLEEVE. BLOUSE FOR MISSES AND Brown and white striped galatea, SMALL WOMEN, with brown for collar, cuffs and belt,is The pattern is cut in five sizes—14, here shown. The design is equally 15, 10, 17 and IS years. It requires appropriate for gingham, chambray. 4% yards of 44-inch material for a lawn, dimity, seersucker, crepe, challie, 16-year size. linen or linene. The pattern Is cut in four sizes—2, 4, 6 and 8 years. It requires 3% yards of 36-inch material for a 6-year size. NO. 9560.—A CHARMING NEGLIGEE. The skirt is cut high above the waist line, forming part of the waist in bodice style. The closing is at the centre front. The pattern is cut in three sizes— small, medium and Targe. It requires pon and mail, with 10 cents for eaefe 0H yards of 27-inch material for a iiatfern. In silver or stamps, to medium size. To obtain any of these desirable models. All in the accompanying cou- SUND AY PATTER NS* Piwl Office Box 260, New York City. © 9337 9638 IMPORTANT NOTICE. Send 10 cents in sliver or stamps for our l!p-to-I)a*e SprlnK aad Summer Catalogue, containing over 400 de signs of ladies', misses' and chil dren’s patterns and a concise and comprehensive article on dressmaking. I SUNDAY AMERICAN-EXAMINER PATTERNS. No. 9337.—Size .Yean. No. 9613.—Size Years. Name 8treet and Number City and State No. 9560.—Size. THE NATIONAL MARKET PLACE SONGS. FORTUNES IN SUCCESSFUL SON<IS—I’ve paid thousands in royalties. .Send your i*oems or musical compositions to me for acceptance. 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Our new plan clearly explained by free booklet. G. FUKMINO & CO., 141 tf Broadway. X. Y. SONG poems wanted. Send us yours. We publish aor*ptablo manuscript* on liberal royalty. Our proposition is positively unequalled. Booklet and catalogue* tree. KELI/MJG MU-SIC <X>. (Dept. P), 1431 Broadway, N. Y. SONG POEM8 ~WANTE»—New PUm Big money, firings published if accepted. Free book. HAYWORTH MUSIC CO.. 608G Washington, D. C. SONG TOiJms EXAMINED FREE—Send yours • make money. Music Clearing House, 141 W. 45th st., N. Y. LEARlN the truth about the song business free. Contest now on. Send name only. WTTTMAAK MUSIC 00., Hamilton Grange, New York City. VAUDEVILLE. GO ON THE STAGE-—'Vaudeville r'areer offered you. Experience unnecessary. Instructive book free. Write to-day. Frederic La Delle, Sta. E., Jackson., Mich. HIGH GRADE HELP. AN intelligent person can earn $100 monthly corresponding for newspajiers: no canvassing: send fur particulars. Press .Syndicate, 744) I»ckport. N. Y. BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES. 1 MADE J.VHwrfi in mail order business; began with $-5. Send for free booklet. Tells how. Heacock. 71>7 Lock- port, N. Y. EYE REMEDIES. “TRY Mnrim ffye Ben ■ tery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids: no Smarting - hurt. Eye Comfort. Murine Eye Salve m Tubes. 115c. Murine, liquid Form, 145c., 50c. and $1.00. Your Own Druggist will supply you. Ask him. HYPNOTISM. PRS1E illustrated Book on Hypnotism and other occult sciences to all who send their ad- dross. Write to-day and learn how to in fluence and control obiiers. M. D, BETTS, 6ta. W., Jackson, Mich. MISCELLANEOUS. TOBACCO HABIT—-Row to overcome it muddy, eaaily. lastinjly. Book free. Edw. J. Woods, 53+ Siith ave., 401 G. New York City. SHOW BUSINESS. STAGE Instruction—Sample page*- for 2c. stamp. Stage Stadio. Station 3, 349 W. 38th, N. Y. PATENTS AND INVENTIONS. WANTED, IDEAS—Men of ideas and inven tive ability should write for our list of needed inventions and prizes offered by leading manu facturer*. 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A • i ’I.KI I:' ‘ I I, V DEVELOPED BUST-‘GroiT. dina” gives wonderful results: no failures, otherwise money refunded; $t jar. Call, write Mile. Koppel’g Parisian Studio, 158 West 34th. st.. New York. TRICKS, JOKES, PUZZLES7 MAGIC POCKET TRICK »nrl Catalogue foi fic. MAGIC CO.. Dept. 3, 249 W. 38th St.. New York. ASTHMA. ASTHMA AM* HAY FEVER REMEDY sen by express to any sufferer. If satisfied send m *1.00 . Write to-day. giving express office. W. K STERLING, 802 Ohio ave., Sidney, O. HOW THE WORLD LOOKS TO THE LITTLE5T MAN