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Second Prize Story in “The Triple Tie” Contest
Jndget of “The Triple Tie"
contest awarded the following
story second place, and prize of
UO.
By CAUL PICKETT.
P. O. Box 1687, Atlanta, Ga., Wlnnar
of Second Prize, $60.
M LDRED, restless over waiting
for Mr. Gray, and because of
her natural fear of consequences
to her lover through further delay,
decided to comply with Elmer's repeat
ed requests to go to Gordon's rescue.
So, Informing Elmer, who was highly
elated, they each secured a repeating
revolver and started out on their ad
venturous trip in Mildred's runabout.
After covering several miles and hav
ing come as close to the spot, bo cun
ningly Indicated in Gordon's letters, as
the road would take them, they stopped
the car and got out. Imagine their
excitement! A beautiful girl and young;,
and a boy of only 16 or 17 years upon
such an expedition! Yet determined,
all thoughts of fear were steadily re
pelled and they entered the woods, El
mer leading, wisely choosing a thick
undergrowth, which Interlaced Itself
through the woods. The way was
fraught with danger of being over-
beard due to this same dense growth
♦hrough which they wended their ar
duous hunt, and because of Elmer’s
southful Impetuosity to hurry. He be
came very cautious, however, when
Mildred explained to him the probable
Jesuits if discovered. They got along
decidedly well, stopping every few min
utes to consult the letters which served
as their guide. They realized there
was only a short distance to go, but
their progress was extremely impeded
as the utmost efforts to make little
noise was necessary. Suddenly Elmer
stopped still in his tracks. "What Is
it, Elmer?” Mildred asked.
Elmer in His Element.
"Do you see the shanty yonder in
iront of us?"
"Yes! yes!” she answered, and her
heart began a mad race and her knees
to tremble violently She was fearful
for the safety of Gordon—fearful lest
she and Elmer would be detected and
the captive summarily dealt with as he
had intimated in his letters. But El
mer was in his element—he manfully
rose to the occasion and invigorated
his fair companion's sagging spirits by
whispers of encouiagement. Once more
they slowly, yet surely, crept through
the protecting foliage close to Mother
Earth.
They soon detected the prisoner, with
his back toward them, calmly sitting
out in the open reading a newspaper,
with a gurrd, gun in hand, only a few
feet in front of him.
What to do now? How to attract
Gordon's attention without arousing the
guard? They racked their brains for a
solution of their dilemma. Mildred, in
her desperation, began playing with a
vanity box, dangling at her side, ner
vously opening and closing it—an in
spiration! She whispered it to Elmer!
Oft came the trinket, and the boy tak
ing and thrusting it safely in his pocket,
climbed a tree slowly and carefully. He
was indeed a nimble woodman! Crawl
ing out on a limb and selecting a spot
touched by the bright rays of the sun
from the prisoner’s direction, yet pro
tected by the leaves, he took out the
vanity box and opened it. Casting re
flections with a mirror was an old
trick of his. Often he had teased Mil
dred this way while she was reading!
He had no trouble now of dancing a
shadow of light across the paper in
the hands of Gordon whose attention
was soon drawn; the prisoner was not
slow in discovering the source, neither
was he tardy in planning his next move.
He did not know who. besides Elmer,
was in the rescue party, but he deter
mined to aid in his escape. Carelessly
rising, though his body was racked
with suppressed excitement, he usurped
WOMAN SUFFERED
TEN YEARS
From Nervousness Caused by
Female Ills—Restored to
Health by Lydia E.
Pinkham’s Vegeta
ble Compound.
Auburn, N. T—"I suffered from
ervousness for ten years, and had
ji 1111 , n such organic
pa j ng that 80mP-
timeg I would lie
In bed four days
at a time, could
not eat or sleep
and did not warn
anyone to talk to
me or bother me
at all. Sometimes
I would suffer for
seven hours at a
time. Different
doctors did the
it they could for me until four
•nths ago I began giving Lydia E.
ikham’s Vegetable Compound ^ a
al and now l am in good health.”—
s. William H. Gill, No. 15 Pleasant
eet, Auburn, New York.
“Doctor’s Daughter Took It.”
3t. Cloud, Minn.—“I was so run
wn by overwork and worry that I
jld not stand it to have my chil-
?n talk aloud or walk heavy on the
or. One of my friends said. ‘Try
dia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com-
und for I know a doctor’? daughter
re in town who takes it and she
mid not take it if it were not good.’
T tent for the Compound at once
d kept on taking it until I was all
•ht.”—Mrs. Bertha M. Quickstadt,
i. 727 Fifth Ave.. S., St. Cloud, Minn.
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com.
und may be relied upon as the most
icient remedy for female Ills. Why
D ’t v«**> try it?
his guard’s attention while Elmer safe
ly descended to Mildred’s side. Both
crouched low beneath the dense shrub
bery and watched Gordon’s next move.
Picking up a ball and bat the prisoner
started off toward the gallant little
party. The gard followed at his heels,
his mind totally absent of all suspicion.
The strategy to Mildred and Elmer was
very plain! The guard was being
brought to them instead of their going
for him. Also the farther away from
the shanty, where the three other
guards were, the better. Just as the
approaching two came abreast the hid
ing place, only a few feet away, two
heads with revolver arms extended
sprang into view Just above the shrub
bery and the captor was stopped with
the hissing command from Elmer,
“Hands up or we shoot!” Gordon, Just
In advance, sprang back, seized the
gun and pushed the mountaineer for
ward into the woods Threatening his
life if he uttered a sound. Thoroughly
frightened, he offered no resistance, but
marched ahead, Elmer in front of him
and the lovers behind, out of ear-shot
of the shanty Into safety. Carrying
Mildred in his arms, Gordon hurried
the party on and they soon reached the
runabout; no time was lost getting
under way, leaving the former guard
behind but taking his gun. As they
were rounding a curve in the road,
half a mile away, they looked back
and saw the four mountaineers stand
ing In the middle of the road, angrily
shaking their fists at the departing
car. Their escape had truly been a
narrow one!
Shook With Nervousness.
Gordon shook with nervousness as he
thought of what would have happened
to Mildred had the rescue failed. He
turned to her and gently—as he loved
her more for her bravery—admonished
her for risking her life for his. “Why
did you and Elmer come alone?" And
Mildred explained to him. how it was
that Elmer and she decided to go to his
aid. *
“How shall I ever repay you, dear?”
“Foolish t what little I did is a mere
part payment in return for what you
have done for me,”
And they soon reached Mildred’s
mountain home, the time having flown
by as it habitually does with lovers
like these.
And not until then was Elmer’s he
roic actions properly lauded.
The train rushed by the crossing leav
ing Forrest Cain In a dying condition on
the track. Mr. Farnsworth rushed to
the body, and, with a native, carried
it into a rough near-by cabin. They
worked over the victim as best they
could; no doctor was available. Cain,
although rapidly sinking began to mutter
unintelligible words. Mr. Farnsworth
bent close to him in an endeavor to
catch the drift of the mutterings; he
wished some light spread on the tragedy
and this was the only source, as the
mountaineer had fled back through the
dark night with no chance for one to
follow. After a few attempts the dying
man’s efforts became more successful
and he imparted the valuable Informa
tion to the reporter that Gordon Kelly,
who had been held prisoner at Cain’s
instigation, had escaped, and that the
captors, although already paid, had de
manded more money from the rich
young clubman. He refused and fled
with them in pursuit. Then—the mut
terings soon ceased and the young man,
once so rich in all wordly things, lay
dead upon the floor of an old log cabin
with none of his loved ones near—a
tragic and untimely end.
Remained With Him.
The reporter stayed with him and pa
tiently waited for the next train. Final
ly he heard it coming and succeeded in
flagging it; the conductor was told the
story and the body was conveyed to the
baggage coach.
Upon the arrival in Atlanta the re
mains of Forrest Cain were taken in
charge by his relatives who had been
telegraphed of his death and Mr. Farns
worth rushed to The Georgian office
with one of the biggest stories of his
brilliant career.
The next morning Mrs. Deery was
called up by her husband and told of
the tragic fate of Forrest Cain find also
the news of Gordon Kelly. She immedi
ately decided to call Mildred over the
long distance phone and Impart the news
to her, as there was no other way for
her to get it any time soon.
Mildred, In her turn greatly shocked,
called Gordon.
“Is this Mr. Kelly?" "Yes, Mildred,
what is it?” And she told him the
story as it had come out in The Geor
gian.
“What will you do, dear?" "I do not
know, Mildred, right now; let me think
awhile. May I come over, dear?” “Yes,
as soon as you can; come for supper.”
“All right.”
Gordon Breaks Silence.
They were sitting in a swing out on
the front porch after supper, both quiet
ly thinking of the news that had come
to them, and trying to decide wVat to
do. The silence was at last broken by
Gordon, who, in tones of deep emdtion,
asked Mildred:
“Will you marry me to-night, dar
ling?” “Why, dear, I can’t—’tls Impos
sible to get ready on such short notice.”
"Won’t you, love? All arrangements
have been made. Judge Barbee, my
friend, has the license and will perform
the ceremony; we can drive over In our
car, taking Elmer with us, and after the
ceremony we can return, and. with the
aid of the housekeeper soon get your
trunks packed, ready to leave early in
the morning. I have made reservations
on the train, have all my things packed
—in fact, dear, all things are arranged.
Won’t you, darling?”
After a further passionate plea, Mil
dred blushingly agreed and they drove
to the Judge’s, returning “Mr. and Mrs.
Gordon Kelly.” The bride called up her
parents and told them. They were high
ly excited and rather hurt because the
children had not waited so they could
be present. But "Love, Time and Tide
wait for no one,” and they later called
up their children and bestowed upon
them their parental blessings.
Mildred and Gordon were occupying
grandstand seats behind the home plate
during the great struggle between the
White and Red Sox. No one there knew
him by sight, as he had played in only
a few exhibition games in Atlanta- True
Lady Constance Stewart Richardson on
How to Acquire a Beautiful Figure Through Dancing
Manager Stahl had met him and saw
him play, but there was little chance for
him to be recognized in that dense mob.
He, therefore, had no fears of being de
tected while there watching the game
with his bride.
The longing to get out there and help
his team was beginning to make Itself
felt, and, as the game progressed and
the Boston chances diminished, the feel
ing grew; all the reserve Red Sox had
been called to the rescue and found
wanting, and the game now seemed
hopelessly lost, as the eighth inning be
gan. Gordon’s heart sank within him
as he saw the Chicago pitcher play with
the l>est Boston batters. Mildred, how
ever, had detected and understood her
husband’s feelings; she realized, too,
that the only way he might go to his
team’s aid would be through her sug
gesting it. She did so, but he refused,
thinking that she really did not expect
him to take her at her word. She per
sisted.
“You’re a Brick!”
“Do you really wish it, dear?” he
asked. “Of course, Gordon; I want you
to do what you so desire, and what you
would have done were I not here.”
“You’re a brick, Mildred. Maybe I
can help the boys as all their pinch
hitters have been used up; but I must
hurry. Good-bye, dear; meet me out at
our car after it is all over and nos
wish me luck.”
“I do, Gordon. I know you will win
this game.”
Smiling at her confidence in his abil
ity he rushed off to the clubhouse, and
finding no one in he chose a Boston
uniform he found hanging in an open
locker and lost little time making a
quick change. He then made his way
to the Boston dugout, his steps acceler
ated by the tremendous shouting. He
reached there just as Leonard, the Red
Sox pitcher, was preparing to go to
bat. Quickly -taking In the situation he
told Captain Wagner who he was and
begged to be allowed to bat for the
pitcher. Wagner rushed over to Stahl
—all with the result that Gordon Kelly,
the $50,000 ballplayer, strode to the
plate, carelessly swinging his bat. Ar
riving there he stood waiting to all
appearances the coolest person in that
thronging frantic mob. Walsh and his
catcher, Schalk, held a consultation,
which over, the great EM walked back
to the box with an easy smile as of
triumph over his face. The great
crowd waited, holding its breath; it
knew not what to expect; It had read
of Gordon Kelly, but was skeptical of
any player in such a crisis with as
little exprience as this one.
Decides to Steal Home.
The Chicago star prepared to deliver
the ball, wetting ie as if for his famous
spitter, while in reality It was to be one
straight over hurled with all of his
mighty strength. Our hero had gussed
this, he had read of this trick of
Walsh’s and so was ready for just what
came. He did not look the first one
over, as so many players do, but smash
ed it on a line about ten feet high Just
to the left of second bace. The man
who had been on first -was rounding
third as Bodie, the Chicago center
fielder, after a hard run, sensationally
intercepted the ball in its mad
progress. Just after it hit the ground.
Gordon hauled up at second! A fit
description of the ensuing scene is be
yond this feeble pen. Pandemonium
and all that goes with it reigned!
The mighty shoulders of Walsh
drooped as he resumed his position in
the box and centered his entire atten
tion on Hooper,* the next Rex Sox bat
ter. On the first ball pitched Kelly
clearly stole third! The crowd was wild:
“Steal home! Steal home, you can do
it!” was heard from all parts of the
great throng. Gordon began prancing
up and down the third base line, but
Walsh refused to notice him, as he was
determined to retire Hooper and thus
retire the side with the score 3-3. He
was using his regular wind-up; the
count on the batter was one ball, two
strikes; it looked like the end of the
Boston rally. Gordon wanted to finish
the game and join his wife. He de
cided to steal home!
He Ran Like a Deer.
Springing forward he ran like a deer
for the plate. Walsh saw, recovered in
the middle of his delivery and hurled
the ball into Schalk’s mitt, just as
Kelly, with a phenomenal slide, went
under the catcher and lay with the tips
of the fingers of his right hand touch
ing home. And the game ended 4-3
with the Red Sox ahead.
When It was considered foolish to en
deavor to describe the scene after Kelly
cleared the bases with his two-bagger,
it is now more foolish to think of
doing so.
Gordon, realizing the necessity of get
ting away, rushed to the clubhouse be
fore being intercepted and rapidly
dressed for the street. The players soon
joined him; they all shook hands with
him, some hugged him, and others
showed their feelings of ecstasy over the
victory by pounding him on the back.
He was Indeed the hero, for ’twas he,
almost single-handed, who had sfiatched
a pennant for his team Just when all
others were giving up in despair. They
proposed giving a dinner in his honor
that evening. “Boys, I am Just mar
ried.’’ said he, "and my wife is out there
in that mob now anq I shall have to
hurry to her side. We are on our honey
moon and, being In town, decided to
come out and see you trim the White
Sox. I would like to explain that it was
my wife, who, detecting my feelings,
sent me out there to help you to-day.
If the invitation includes her, why we
shall be delighted to accept.” “Sure!
Sure! You can not come without her,’ 1
they all shouted In unison.
Gordon Explains.
At the dinner that evening in the
presence of the entire Boston team, the
wives of its married members, their
president and several reporters, Gordon
Kelly told them that he had played
with them his first and last time; how
sorry he was, but that he had thought
it all over and had determined to enter
business with his uncles; he asked the
players to respect hiB decision and of
fered to refund the club the $50,000
which had been paid for his services.
“Let that go. Mr. Kelly,” President Mc-
Aleer answered; “you earned ten times
that amount in ten minutes this after
noon.” Shouts of approval greeted his
This is Figure 2, as de
scribed in Lady Richardson's
article.
Practice in this will cause
the body to assume the grace
ful lines in walking normally.
This is
Figure 3.
This shows a
step that
will help to
acquire a
pretty back.
Many wom
en are at
tractive as
long as they
face you,
but the lines
of their
backs are
graceless and
heavy.
Figure No.
Figure No. 1.
By Lady Constance Stew
art Richardson.
Copyright 1913 by International News
Service.
H AVE you ever stopped to con
sider how you sit down ?
Some women who have a
graceful carriage, who have even
mastered the art of standing grace
fully, relax—slump into an awk
ward heap of arms, legs and
stooping shoulders when they sit.
In order to guard against this
great awkwardness in posture
when ready to Indulge in conver
sation or any of the conventional
social Intercourse for which one
inevitably sits, I would suggest
that we learn so to control our
arm, leg and waist muscles that
they inevitably fall into long, curv
ing lines of gracefulness instead of
tangling and withering Into awk
ward abandon and ungainly pos
ture.
My muscles are so trained that
I no longer have to hold them firm
ly In position, but they fall natu
rally Into sweeping continuous
lines, which are the true beauty of
natural pose and posture.
Consider figure 1. The left foot
Is daintily placed forward, the
right foot Is almost at right angles
to it, the instep takes nature’s
lifted curve. The body sways
slightly toward the right heel, with
the arm sinking In a graceful par
allel to the right foot. Rise and
fall on the toes, changing from
foot to foot for the forward posi
tion, and when right foot Is for
ward and right arm parallel to the
left foot have the left arm lifted
above the head and twisting for
ward at the elbow with the wrist
pendant above the head. Sway
from foot to foot till you are sure
of the exercise. Then practice
sinking into a sitting posture while
holding arms and legs in the posi
tions shown in this picture. Prac
tice this exercise faithfully, and
soon you will be able to sit without
lolling or feeling an ungainly self
consciousness of arms and legs
with which you know not what to
do. Of course, you will not sit
with one arm “draped” above your
remark. "And now, Mr. Kelly, we are
all anxious to find out, how you, who
had never seen a ball game till this
spring, learned how to play it so well."
‘Gentlemen, truly, to me, It seems
easy, and was easy, to learn what little
I know of the game. I deserve no great
credit, as I naturally took to it like a
duck to water, and besides, I was for
tunate enough to have all necessary
aids, except humans, to help In teach
ing me. I had the regulation diamond,
and also a cage for the winter months
and bad days of the summer. Every
day I devoted hours to the game, either
In actual playing, or else studying it
from guides and all the baseball articles
that money could purchase. I read
about all the great players—their
characteristics—until I knew them
thoroughly. So you now understand 1
had the natural love for the game and
the facilities with which to learn, so the
question is, "How could I help but
learn it?"
How He Learned.
I had a high rock wall with a vul
canite lining against which I have
thrown a ball, hours at a time, day in
and day out, and catching it on the re
bound, which was sharp or slow, depend
ent upon the force I put in my throw.
The ball would come at me and above
me to the right and to the left. This
was grand practice; It taught me alert
ness both of the body and of the eye.
I did this both in and outdoors. For
fly balls I could bat the ball so high that
I had plenty of time to get under it;
also I had a sort of gun—a gatling gun
effect—which could be loaded with the
regulation ball. By adjusting the bar
rel the ball* would be thrown high and
far Into the air.
“Well, I could so place myself at dif
ferent positions—the balls would always
hit in about the same spot—that I soon
mastered catching flies to the right,
to the left, in front and behind me. For
batting practice I used this same gun
arrangement. It was so constructed
that the force of discharge—that is. the
swiftness of the ball—could be altered.
I would place it in the pitcher’s box,
regulation distance, and hit swift ones,
slow ones, high and low, close and wide.
for an hour every day, year after year!
I would practice placing the ball until
I got to where I could bat within a very
few feet of where I desired. For base
running I practiced!! I studied the dif
ferent slides as they were written about
in the articles and soon got to where
I had them down to a fine point.”
The Future.
“Now. gentlemen, please excuse me;
this speech sounds too egotistical, yet I
assure you It is not meant that way.
If any one of you had enjoyed my oppor
tunity you would have far surpassed
my ability. In fihlshlng I want to thank
you deeply for your treatment of my
wife and me and to express our sincere
gratefulness and we want you to re
member that we are always your
friends. I now propose a toast. 'The
Red Sox!’ ’’
That evening while all Nature was at
rest, after they had reached their un
cle’s home where they were stopping,
Mildred and Gordon painted together the
last touches to the picture of that won
derful, memorable day.
"Is It all right, Gordon?”
“Yes. dear.”
“Was it a sacrifice not playing any
more?”
“A sacrifice! Why no, dear, I wish it
were, as making sacrifices for you, Mil
dred, would be only joy to me.’’
Arm in arm, eyes staring into the
moon-rayed heavens, their hearts beat
as onb. their thoughts were on the Fu
ture!
An Unexpected Pleasure.
"I don’t like that disagreeable Mrs.
Parker.”
”1 thought she was very pleasant.
What’s happened?”
"We lunched together In town to
day. She said she’d pay, and, of
course, I mumbled. ‘Let me*—and she
said, ‘Very well.’ *
head, but you will learn to have
flowing movement from this pic
ture, and your arms will then fall
into natural lines of grace.
FIGURE TWO.
Figure 2 will help you acquire
n graceful walk. With arras sway
ing gracefully at the Sides, much
ns the tight rope walker uses his
balance pole, move forward with
bent knees and out-pointing toes.
Cross the legs in front of one an
other, keeping the knees close all
through the exercise. Throw the
head up and walk on the balls of
the feet. This exercise more near
ly approaches dancing than walk
ing, and yet through the practice
of this exaggerated walking-step,
the body will come to assume
graceful lines In walking normally.
To walk well and to arrange
yourself with graceful uns^lfcon-
sciousness when sitting are two
real social acquirements and are a
vast step In the general direction
of grace. The two movements I
have given you are dancing steps,
and yet they can be made to serve
a definite purpose toward the at
tainment of bodily grace, without
which all the beauty of form of a
Venus would fall short of attrac
tiveness of a vital sort
FIGURE THREE.
Figure 3 shows a step that will
help you to acquire a pretty back.
So many women are attractive as
long as they face you, but the
lines of the back are graceless and
heavy. I>o not fall into this cate
gory, but teach yourself this little
dance step, for It will make your
back graceful and pretty. Stand
firmly on the right foot and point
the lifted right toes well to the
back, taking care to keep the line
of the leg from knee to toe.
Raise the arms to Just below
shoulder height and twist the head
until you are looking across the
finger tips of the right hand. Now
all this while the back has teen
slowly and gently inclining back
ward. When the back muscles
feel tense shift the weight to the
other foot and go through the move
ment again. Five times on each
foot will be found sufficiently often
to practice this exercise until the
unused back muscles have accus
tomed themselves to the tension.
Will not even those who have
never seen excuse for the dam , e,
concede that If It can teach you
to sit well, to walk gracefully and
to have a strong, healthy and
pretty back that there Is some good
in the art of Terpsichore?
Advice to the Lovelorn
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
THERE IS ONE WAY.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
I am in love with a young girl
of 16 years. I am 19. I love her
ao much that I wouldn’t forget
her for the world.
1 told her that I loved her, until
last Sunday night, when she told
me that she had to give me up on
account of a difference in reli
gion. She said somebody told her
mother and she was told to give
me up. Can you tell me how I
could get her back, for I am al
most heartbroken? L, A. C.
Have you thought of making a
change to her church? Do y<?u love
her enough to make the sacrifice
yourself instead of demanding it of
her?
But you are only 19! I know It
seems incredible to you now, but if
you wait a few years you may find
omfort in a girl of your own belief.
THEIR ADVICE IS GOOD.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
I have been keeping company
with a girl for almost a year.
Within the laK few weeks she has
acted very funny. She told me
she loved me, and when I called
she would be very nice to me. The
next night she would not notice
me. Her parents, knowing of this,
said they did not know what to
make of it. They told me to stay
away for awhile and see what
would happen. J. K.
No one knows her better than they,
and their advice is worth something.
Try it. Go farther, and occasion
ally call on another girl. If this brings
no change in her I am afraid your
case Is hopeless.
TELL YOUR MOTHER.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
I am a young girl 16 years of
age. and a young man of 18 took
my ring, which he said he would
have repaired. I can not see the
young man any more and would
like to know how to get hack the
ring without writing to him. as at
present I can not receive mail.
VIVIAN.
There Is entirely too much of this
method whereby a young man ob-
tain’s a girl’s ring and keep* tt, or,
perchance, give* It to aome other girl.
Tell your mother, or father, and let no
foolish sentiment prevent you.
MAKE NO SUCH EFFORT.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
I am 17 and deeply in love with
a man three years my senior. Will
you please let me know how T can
gain his love? P. M. N.
I am concerned with your happiness
when I insist that a girl of 17 la too
young for love.
And though you were older, I would
give the same answer to your ques
tion: Man’s love is won without ef
fort. The girl who tries to win a maa
is seldom jo skillful she conceals her
purpose. The man who sees he is pur-'
sued is both flattered and disgusted.
And seldom captured!
IT 18 NOT BEST.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
A young man of my acquaint
ance has given me his photograph
and wishes mine in return. I have
known him a few years and our
families are very good friends.
DOUBTFUL DOROTHY.
Under the circumstances there
would be no impropriety in such a
token of friendship, but this exchang
ing of pictures has caused so much
trouble it la never for the best.
Daysey Mayme and Her Folks
By FRANCES L. GARS IDE.
“W
E should be charitable with
the man who goes wrong,”
the women say from the
lecture platform. “Perhaps,” pulling
out the tremolo stop on their voices;
“he never had home Influences,”
Chauncey Devere Appleton, who Is
always looking for material for ad
dresses to the Children’s Congress, of
which he is president, slipped a pad
of writing paper In his book the other
night. While ostensibly reading, he
would make note of the home in
fluences with which he was sur
rounded.
“Do you remember, Lysander John,"
began his wife, "the night you pro
posed to me "
"I never proposed to you at all.”
snapped her husband, with unusual
coldness. "The third time I called
you pushed me into the parlor, where
I found myself standing in front of a
preacher.”
Mrs. Appleton sighed, and looked at
her daughter. Her daughter gave
her a look of understanding that was
not complimentary to father.
“I told those Kennedys who took
Oh;Jincey Devere and me out auto-
u; we had invi-
our family,”
"you haven’t washed them to-day!"
"Home influences,” began Chauncey
Devere, on his writing pad; then, lav
ing aside the dignity of his great
office as president of the Children’s
Congress, he yielded to a rare boyish
impulse and wrote one word:
‘‘Not/’
mobding to-day that
vidual automobiles in
spoke Daysey Mayme. “I thought I
would impress them.’’
“Yes, and when It was time for
us to stop you reached up to pull the
bell cord,” interjected her brother.
There was a slap, and a scream.
"Leave your brother alone,” com
manded their father. “Listen” (to
his wife).
Then he read of a frightful railroad
accident, going into all the grewsomo
details.
“He reads that sort of stuff to you. ’
whispered Daysey Mayme to her
mother, "to scare you, so you
wouldn’t take a trip on a free pass to
a family reunion.”
Lysander John likes to rend out
loud. “I see,” he resumed, looking up
from a tariff report, “that stockings
are going to be higher.”
“But we can’t wear them any higher
with these long corsets,” protested
his wife.
"I told the Kennedys,” continued
Daysey Mayme, "that the last time we
entertained we had seven helping hi
the kitchen.”
“Was that the truth?”—from her
father.
"Of course it was,” replied his
daughter. "Didn't we have all our
poor kin out there?”
“Your father’s kin, you mean.” cor- I
rected her mother. “They were out
there to get their share.”
Lysander John flung down his pa- I
per in a rage, stamped on it, and I
left the room, closing the door with
a slam. Daysey Mayme turned to her
brother.
“Look at your hands,” she screamed,
What Was the Dinner Like?
Mrs Keene was very much a bride;
in fact, she had only Just been mar
ried, and knew absolutely nothing
about household matters. Imagine her
consternation, then, when her cook
left her suddenly on the morning of
the very day that four guests were
expected to arrive for dinner.
Of course, Mrs. Keene rushed round
and managed to secure a temporary
maid. But to prepare dinner for six
proved to be a task altogether beyond
the newcomer's abilities. So, de
scending to the kitchen, where she
found the girl struggling with a cof
fee machine, the mistress volunteered
to be of some assistance.
“Now, what can I do first?" she
asked.
“Well, mum,” confessed the maid,
“I haven’t washed the lettuce yet.
You might do that.”
“All right, Delia,” said Mrs. Keen*.
“But please keep calm’, and I will
help you. Now, you get on with the
coffee. I'll wash the lettuce.”
A moment later:
“Delia, where have you put the
soap?”
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