Newspaper Page Text
15
American Sunday Monthly Magazine Section
Why Women DRESS SO
1 ET me get this straight,” said the
Man from Mars to the policeman
who was investigating the latest
suffragette outrage.
‘‘As I understand it, there is a war be
tween the male human beings and the fe
male ones.”
“That’s about it,”agreed the policeman.
“And the women, the females, set olT
bombs and burn things,” continued the,
Martian.
“They sure do,” said the “cop.”
“And to punish them,” went on the Mar
tian confidently, “you men hobble their legs
with those funny skirts and torture their
feet with those pitiful high-heeled shoes and
humiliate them with those great big ridic
ulous hats. I don’t see how you have the
heart to be so cruel. Hut what I want to
know is how you make them submit to
such torment. Why don’t they refuse to
wear them?”
“You’re all wrong.” said the blue-coat,
“they wear those things because they like
’em.”
The Martian silenced him with an indig
nant gesture as he stepped into his aether
car and bounded toward the stars and his
last words were: “ Now I know indeed that all
men are liars even according to scripture.”
By Lee Henry Wilson
The Essential Sense
{Continued from page p)
posed to her, and any one of whom she now
believed would have been preferable to
Bopps. In the days of her engagement she
had believed that these men would remain
faithful to her, and from ardent lovers
would crystallize into sincere, devoted
friends. But in this she was quite wrong.
The young men did not like her husband and
stayed away. Bopps was fond of his slippers
and his after-dinner briarwood pipe and re
fused to go to places where a young married
woman would naturally keep in touch with
her old friends. From the very first she
saw that the fight was a hopeless one, and so
she settled down to be as good a housewife as
her sense of humor would permit. But it
must be said that this sense found shape in
words only in the long talks with her one
faithful friend, Patsey Craig.
Promptly at five o’clock the next day
Ogden appeared, and for nearly an hour
Amy and he stumbled through the rough
going on the new conditions, but at last the
barriers were swept away, and they reached
the nigh perfect understanding of the days
that were. At ten minutes to six Amy
glanced at the clock.
“ In a few minutes Ned will be back,” she
said, “and before he returns I want to ask
you a favor. I would ask it of no one else,
because you are, perhaps, the one man who
understands me and my whims. I am going
to start Ned off to-morrow afternoon, but
I w ill be back here about seven o’clock and
I wish you would take me some place to
dinner; that is, if you have no engagement
or one that you can break. For a few' hours
I want you to be very nice and sweet to me
in a silly sort of way—just as if you cared
so much that it was hard to talk of any-
t hing else but of how very much you—cared;
as if it were very difficult not to put your
arms about me and whisper to me all you
felt for me; but, of course, you wouldn’t
put your arms about me because in your
foolish w'ay you must believe that I am so
fine and good and beautiful that you wouldn t
dare to touch the ends of my fingers.”
“It’s awfully good of you,” he said.
“We’ll have a fine time. ! can’t tell you
how' I appreciate it.”
Amy did not answer him, but walked
over to the window and stood looking out.
The following afternoon Amy and her
husband left their home at an unnecessarily
early hour, but Bopps w’as an ardent disciple
of the “ Better an hour too early than a
minute too late” theory, and as a result
they reached the ferry in time to take the
five-twenty-five boat —just half an hour
ahead of their schedule. On the way over
Bopps was suddenly seized with an inspira
tion. “I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” he said
enthusiastically; “we 11 dine at the station.
I hate to think of you going back to the
apartment and eating all alone; we ve plenty
of time.”
For a moment the rail of the ferryboat
seemed to bob up and down before Amy s
eyes, and the deck to heave under her feet
as if she were on an ocean liner in a storm.
Then everything became normal again and
she was conscious that it was necessary
for her to combat, and at once, her hus
band’s horrible proposition. And just
when everything had been so well arranged!
In former years she had often been a guest
at little supper and dinner parties at Ogden’s j
rooms, and she knew that as a host he had !
no peer among her friends. All day she
had been looking forward to the wonderful
dinner he would have prepared for her, and
now it seemed as if she must ruin it all by
eating at a station restaurant—with Bopps.
“I simply won’t think of it, Ned,” she
said. “It would be an outrage. You told
me only this morning how much you en
joyed those table d’hote dinners on the cars,
and Katie has a nice little dinner waiting
for me at home. And you know' how it
hurts Katie’s feelings when I don’t eat
everything she cooks.” As a matter of
fact, Amy had planned on her return to tell i
Katie that she had suddenly been called
away to fill a place at a formal dinner at
Miss Craig’s.
But Bopps was adamant—the nearer |
the boat got to Jersey City, the more en
thusiastic over his farewell dinner A deux. As
soon as the boat was docked he rushed Amy
through the long station to the restaurant.
“Not time to sit down at a table,” he
said cheerfully. “We’ll just climb up on
stools at the instantaneous lunch counter
and order something that’s ready.”
Amy accepted her fate as gracefully as
she could and climbed nimbly on a high
stool at the long counter, but in all her life
she had never wanted so much to break out
in unrestrained tears.
“Just the thing!” exclaimed Bopps,
looking over the menu. “And something
you are very fond of, Amy—chicken fricas- j
see with home-made dumplings.”
Amy cast one fleeting look of reproach at !
the grinning negro waiter as he dashed oil
after the chicken. All the strength seemed |
to have gone out of her back, and /or a j
moment she feared she was going to double j
up like a jack-knife. It was Bopps’ voice j
that brought her back to the real situation.
“Those crullers down there, Amy, under
cover—to finish olT with, eh?”
Amy glanced down the long counter and
saw a pile of crullers a foot high; under
other glass covers there were pyramids of |
pound cakes, stacks of sandwiches in greased j
paper wrappings, and many quarters of
many kinds of pie. She wondered at what I
point Bopps’ desire for restaurant food
would fail him.
The smiling waiter returned and placed
before them two great plates of chicken
fricassee. The chicken appeared to Amy
to be all legs and the dumplings as large as
grape fruit. Over it all was a most gen
erous supply of heavy yellow gravy.
“One portion would have been enough
for two,” said Bopps, helping himself.
“For two,” said Amy—“for two armies.”
Bopps chuckled at her little joke. “And,
George,” he called to the waiter, “two
glasses of milk—cold.”
Amy w'as picking ostentatiously at a small
bone.
“What’s the matter, dear,” he said, j
“Don’t you care for the dumplings?”
{Continued on next page)
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BABY ASSI..MIKIIIEH AT Til BEK MONTHS
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has kept on doing so, not only has he grown big and fat,
but he has cut twelve teeth during the hottest months of
his second summer, and has never been sick a day.
“Mrs. C. F. Assenheimer.*’
If AIIV ASSEMIEIMEK AT ONI. YEAR _
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Overcomes and Prevents all Bowel Troubles
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Corn Chicanery
Trying to Cheat One’s Feet
Thousands
of people pare their
corns —merely take
off the top layer.
Thousands of oth
ers use liquids and
plasters, just for brief
effect.
Yet every corn can
be removed in two
days. Every corn
pain can be instantly
ended.
Anyone can do this in a scientific
way. It is being done on a million
corns a month.
The entire corn comes out, root,
callous, everything. And without any
pain or soreness. You simply apply a
Blue-jay plaster and then forget the
corn.
You are cheating yourself when you
use makeshifts in these modern days.
The use of Blue-jay ends the corn.
A In the picture Is the soft B & B wax. It loosens the corn.
B stops the pain and keeps the wax from spreading.
C wraps around the toe. It is narrowed to be comfortable.
D is rubber adhesive to fasten the plaster on.
Blue=jay Corn Plasters
Sold by Druggists—15c and 25c per package
Sample Mailed Free. Also Blue-jay Bunion Plasters.
(305) Bauer & Black, Chicago and New York, Makers of Surgical Dressings, etc.
T)
u
m e . 9
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