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HEARST’S SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA, GA , SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER '7, 1013. 7 E LOVE’S YOUNG DREAM By T. E. POWERS, the Famous Cartoonist. Owrljhw lftia. by tJM HUt Company Urwt tUltail. U«ku Umrrrt. Cherry Valley Notes OoarHCht. 1*11, by tfca Star Onmyuj. Orwit BrIUla Rlfhts A IN’T It embarrassln’ tho, after you hev glv away all your grown-up baby’s things to be caught down to the store l>7 sum friends buyln some more. tfA feller rldln’ one of them two seated motorslckles asked ms to ride, and when 1 got on he wanted to see how fast she’d go, I reckon. I slid off the seat to the tire to brake her. Holy geeboasafat, a feller might just es well sit on a streak of llghtnln’, It couldn’t bs no hotter. Our sllrer cornet band wuz winning the prise at the Firemen’s Convenshun Thursday till a feller from Brantvllle began eating a lemon In front of our leadin’ cor net player, and he got the wrong pucker. These pert city gals cant git the best of HI Lent’s boy, Purdy, who knows a thing or two. Two of them wuz walkin' long Main street when Purdy and Del Halbert walked on each side of them to git by. One of the gals sed, "Roses a’twlxt thorns." "No. chicken sanwttch," sed Purdy. Mrs. Spank hez a new way of glttln’ flies out of the house. She makes Sam put on a old suit She sprinkles it with sugar water. When a lot kerlect Sam walks to the barn, shakes hlsself and then makes a beeline fer the house. He nearly run hlsself to death Sunday. HI Lent nigh kicked his wife’s thumb off ylsterday. She wuz hold- in’ a tack fer him to drive with his wooden leg, and just ez he made a stamp at It he got a cramp In the stump and didn’t hit the tack. Phil Brock sez that It Jest seems to him that when he gits site of a gal wearln' one of them split skirts that he jest caln't do a thing with his eye glass. It’s mighty embarrassin’ to Phil. When I wuz walkin’ home froir the express offls Saterday nlte carryln’ a basklt, m what I told Rev. Tubbs, who caught up with me. wuz Hubbard squash, a dern fool dog cum runnln’ down the street and hit agin the basklt. and the pesky things rattled. THE MORNING SMILE Wex Jones, Editor Voi. n. Atlanta, Sunday, September 7, 1913. No. 39. Police Do^s Marvelous Work Done by the Highly Trained Sleuths. BY KARL KUMYESS. K UCHENBRENNER, Aug. 80.— To-day I saw the trials of the famous German police dogs. A man was shot—a wooden bullet being used so that he wouldn’t be hurt too much—and Hans, a Potsdam police pup, was released. He rushed up to the Injured man, but the moment the (log’s keen nose told him the bul let was of wood, not lead, the Intelligent animal refused to par ticipate further. Hans knew there was some fake about the affair. Next, Fritz, a Hamburg hound, was put on the trail of a fleeing burglae. Fritz followed the man to a barn where his quarry was In hiding. As the dog could not gnaw through the door, he set Are to the barn, and In a moment the flames drove ont the burglar. The dog chased him five miles down the road, but could not gain on the fugitive. Accordingly Fritz barked up a taxi and bit the chauffeur savagely until the man started his car after the burglar, who was caught after » brief chase. Anotber burglar fired a revol ver at Karl, a Koenlgsburg cop hound, but the active and cagey animal caught the bullet in its teeth, thus saving himself from injury, and holding the bullet as evidence Karl got first prize. OUR WEEKLY HEALTH HINT. Don’t pose as "September Mem'' unions the water's warm. In the Smile’s Letter-Box VEGETABLES. "TO THE EDITOR.—Is there ^ any excuse for oyster plant EPICURE. [Yes, Just the eame as there le for egg plant—• Ed.] Graft. A TRUE FRIEND. TO THE EDITOR.—Scene. Country churchyard. Village miser In tears at funeral of vil lage failure Minister to Miser— Ton seem deeply affected by the death of our poor friend Smith. Miser—Yes, I thought a lot of poor Smith. Why, he never asked me for the loan of a single dollar, although I knew the poor fellow was practically starving to death. BILLY MULHALL. ODDITIES IN THE NEWS Huerta of Mexico. Passaic bulldog named Citron John cultivates a sour expression, but has no use for lemons. Texas man married a waitress because she brought him his chop on a really hot plate. Woman refused to live In America because the Statu® ot Liberty hasn’t a slit skirt Man with a wooden leg. be cause be lives on a Nevada forest reservation, comes under the jurisdiction of the Government forest patrol. He Is Included In the Department of Agriculture's conservation scheme. DID YOU KNOW THAT-- It would take an awful bunch of credentials to get an explorer anything around Copenhagen? Apples should always be grown with the pips Inside. England has a new poet lau reate ? It’s hardly necessary to drag In the word laureate? A snail sniffs at a swallow aa being “too fast”? The automatic piano must look upon a regular piano as an awlul loateri l ON 8TINQ8. TO THE EDITOR.—How can you tell a hornet from a house fly? VERAX. [Let both sting you. Tho ono that makes you "yump” l.s tho horn at.—Ed.] LIFE. TO THE EDITOR.—This is a funny life. We don’t know where we came from. We don’t know where we're going. Odd. very. THELMA B.TESSEN. [Some of us don’t even know we’re on our way. ^ d ’l 1 SOME RLACK-FACE VAUDEVILLE FUN BY Swor and Mack Copyright 1*1* by the Star Company. Oreat Britain Right* Reeerred. S WOR—Seen dat new lion dey got out In de zoo yet? MACK—Seed him yes'day. While ah’s lookin’ In de csge ah see de cage cleaner come roun’. Ah say to him: "Mlstuh, ain’t you ’fr&ld of dat new big llonf “You mean dat big one?” he say. “Yes, dat great big one—gosh, he mnst hare big teeth 1 Ain’t you nervous when he prowl back of dose bars 7” "You mean dat BIG one?" "Yes, de BIG one I Why. man, what would you do If dat lion should bite off a hole In dem bars an’ chase aftuh you?” "You mean that new lion—dat very BIGGEST one?" "Yes. Jest s’pose he bit his way out of dat cage an' got you whar you am?" "Yon mean got me whar ah WAS?" "Well, sp'ose he DID chew his way out an’ made fo’ you—dat big one ah means” Dat cage cleanuh look at me an’ den he look at de lion—de big one—- an' he say: "If he DID chaw his -ray ont an’ take aftuh me—well MONKEYS ain’t nevuh done NUTHIN’ In trees—YET!” Den he tell me ’bout a Russian bear dat broke out of a cage aftuh him. Said dat he was trabhlln’ wid de John R. Robinson show, ’an he was de third keeper. One lght In New Orleans de circus was ovah an’ some one fo’ a Joke turned de latch on dat Russian bear’j cage. "Did you run ?” ah say to him. "RUN ?t—Say, man, when ah slowed up to ketch mah breath ah had run so fas’ an' so FAR, dat a nickel- mo’ would have run me right lntub Cine nattuh!” Say, did you know ah once trabbled wid an animal show! SWOR—You did? MACK—Sure, but dey fired me. SWOR—Why? MACK—’Cause ah cut a big hole an' also a little hole In do parti tion of de big cage fo' de tigress an’ her cub to get Intuh de othuh side of de oagel Ah tried farmin’ aftuh dat, but ah give dat up, too. SWOR—Why? MACK—'Cause ah soon found dat a farmer can’t plough his fields by turnin’ 'em over In his mind onlyl SWOR—Well, you am well off at dat. Ah heard dat you have come Into a large landed property MACK—An’ ah’m sorry to tell you dat It am groundless! SWOR—Poor Bill Simpkins got hanged de other day. MACK—He was game dat man. Why, he chaff wid do men on de scaffold. SWOR—What he do? MACK—Why, de sheriff he go up to Bill an’ he say: “Wlllyum. have you- got anything to say why sentence of death should not be passed agin you?’’ BUI he look like he was ’noyed an’ he say right back to de sheriff- "Hay, looka here, sheriff, dls Joke have been carried quite far enough already, so, If you please, we will drop de subject" SWOR—An’? MACK— Mediately! 1 Qo to It, Geraldine! Copyright, IMS by the Btar Company. Great Britain Right* Reserved. W E admit the cause ha* been a bit neglected of late, Geraldine, but somehow the cards didn’t run Just exactly right or we got switched off onto Full style* and mixed up with the X-ray gown or some thing. But we have accomplished much, as It is. and since we have landed Jobs as theatre ushers, Chicago copesses, and are well under way toward the orgauizutlon of the United Lady Boiler Workers of the World, there Is no reason we can see why you should not hold down a Job as motor lady or conductress If your dear little heart beats that way. We are going to be Just too perfectly dear for anything and see that It Is fixed up sweetly for you, Including an embroidery outfit which you can keep handy In some cozy little niche on the rear platform. Ding ding, the next stop Is Mile. Marie's hairdressing psrlors—ten minutes’ stop for the convenience of lady patrons. Madam, the last three seats for smoking, please. Pawdon? Yea, you wUl find hairpins in the little box behind each seat Yes, Geraldine, we have thrown ourselves heart and soul Into your campaign and have already made several calls to ascertain what may be done to hasten the matter. The B R. T. seems all to the muffins about It, but says that, of course. It stands to reason that all the girls cannot have Coney Island runs with hot popcorn at the other end. But It Is willing to compromise, and suggeats that It seems feasible to permit you to entertain male company on the platform between the hours of 8 and 11 p. m. It la but s step further, as you see, to connect a chafing dish with the controller—and there you are. Ding-ding, and as I said before, I said to Tillle 1 said I’d get right out of their horrid old union and Join the one Sadie 8mlth la start ing. Pardon me—this person— what's that? Oh, how did I know you wanted to got off at that ugly old corner! Ding-ding. As I was saying Naturally It Is not going to be the smoothest thing In the world to land you at the height of your soul’s desire as a fare collector or motorette. Certain soundings must be made 1b the home circle For te- Ktnnce. your lesser half must be won over to the side of Justice. We would suggest that you start a little chat with him some evening about how hard he must be worked at the office, and In that way gradually lead up to the question as to whether he would be willing to comb the children's hair and carry your supper to the car barn. We have drawn up a set of rules, merely In the rough, copies of which. If neatly framed, would make the sweetest boudoir decorations. Conductoresses will be polite on all occasions, rendering any assist ance necessary to gentlemen with small children. Geutlemen will always be cautioned by employes not to alight from the car backwards. Conductoresses and motorettes will not talk more than Is possible. Employes will not file nails en route, as parlors with capable manL enres are maintained at the various barns. Tea will be served at the end of each trip in the bine room When a passenger complains of going three blocks pus£ destination an employe should not say, “I ghouia worry,” i N