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# It Is Easy for a Man to Write a Love Letter to His Wife: Just Enclose a Check -a % MAGAZINE THE HURDY-GURDY By LM.IAN L/MJFERTY. O the tune of the hurdy-gurdy they danced on the oity street, And all who passed stood smiling to watch the.It tripping feet; For a child was made for dancing, for glee and mirth i and play, And the 5oy of youth sets a Springtime gleam on tha [ murk of the Winter day. What Is Your Chief Attraction f s • & Posed especially for this page by the Jar din de Danse entertainers. Three types to make you think He AAA But what of the OTHER CHItlDREN, bound far from the sunlight's glow, Whose music Is only the throbbing hum of the engine and dynamo? And what of their leaden footsteps that never knew tripping feet— Shall one child work In the factory and one child dance In the street? AAA AAA Shall the little Children labor In the Country of the Free, And the beckoning gleam of the golden sun be a Joy they may not see? Shall we dance to tire hurdy-gurdy of greed and luet and gold, And buy oureclvea a tawdry youth In the pain of a child grown old? |A~TALE OF A CODFISH] J OKES Is an heBerable man. And Janes, being an honorable man. Is likewise an honest map. Thue It came adopt the Other flay that Jones vielted hl» fishmonger to pay an acopupt. Mr. Koddlyn. having raealvaj (.fje fijoncy due. termed hi* back for a few minutes till he wrote a re ceipt. And in the short spaca of ttrpe .Jorcs was tempted, and—tell it not in Sath'—JOBps tei). A good-eiaed codfish lay within reach, and .dbnes could not resist the temptation (to afifiAF lp. Accord fngly the fish soon found Its way frp*a the *taj> into hie coat-tail pocket—at least the mpst of It. as, without Jones knowing, the tail projected. Mr. Koddlyn had the receipt written, and our erring friend, haying received it, turned to leave the ■hop with a “Good dao'1” "Good day. air, and thank you,” returned the ishmonger. and then, Ms eye falling on Jones's co&t-taSto, he csil.ed. •*b*h, by the by, ktr. Jojvaal” Jones turned hank, '•Excuse me caWihag you back, Mr. drPrirae^'-' *t|te flva^i «f dish saW,-; “theca -was something I almost omitted t-o tell jk>u.” ‘What was AttftW?'' naked Jon.es. curiously. '“Wen, Mr. Jones. 1 ’ ceturned the other, significantly, “the next time you .visit this shop, please wear _a cqr* with deeper -pookets, «t-—or—er—commandeer -a shorter fish'.'' FOR THE OLD BY WILLIAM F. KIRK M -AWY years ego (hoy baalshod Every thwoRttf of worldly ' Att AT y**n* A FYort t'hs% Wkt aw* AlsmAwr trvrnn Btrt fbey AHWi, aftfcr Ufa s'lsartf*)* And the twfiedfV ffrmwrry fitww Holds -a deeper. Kwooter meaning Thftn file yotlltg can ever knww. AAA AA> Wiey have -loved fltelr *n1atu Iwbbxb, They have Closed to.7n«Ts-gone d>r, And a misty -halo hovel’s O'er the ‘towns’ that bad -to die. They can dream *f fatted gJoiAes, And-eaeli-Adeam w4H’Art»g.merex)oy Than a mHWon passlonisteriea f , aased'fietweenta glrl'’H»d a boy. AAA AAA We are young and we eve ehrtvlni For -the things they used to arwrr , They, while spiendlfily sitrvrisdsg. Smile serenely a,t-d.he grants. And we sIto ggle-air-too’vai Ply With the hape- tliat’wo can tell Half the tlitefis they see so plKinly, Half the things they know so wall T T7 THAT is-your best feature? Do-you ever,slop Yto take stooko£youriaGo? Have you.biuU- ’ ’ ied your flue points and learned to-ac cent them—to bring-theim iato-the-£oKegr-ound r asjdt were, and to make them overshadow your facial weaknesses? Specialize on your.good points and mercifully veil your bad ones, ? aad with no more of a, stock in trade tlian^avWi^tfml.dJJmple or.a curving smile-you may “arrange’’ tovhe r a ? pretty gjvl! Up in the Jar din de Daase -on the i\' ew York Roof th^re. are three fascinatingiy pretty girls, yftop. are wej 1.dowered• by Nature,in.diverse ways. And . each ,-oae of them is clever enough ■ to empha size, the. good, paiuts^-of her .pretty fa6e ,so well that if-there -were less-good onasjio. one-would ever, sus pect, it. T^ierifirstyhead,on;Uie:Jeft-is T Uiat,-ofthe-rWinsoni6 Betty Martin. brunette beauty, Beatrice Allen, who dances so de lightfully. To her grace she adds a face whose lovely oval contour she does not spoil by any set conventional coiffure. Her high piled dark hair em phasizes the soft sweep of line from cheek to chin, A Bachelor's Diary He Leaves the Nurse By MAX. O CT. 27—No woman has the right to put the responsibility of her conduct on the man. She Hh °uld never say, as Sally Spencer has said, in effect to me: “I love you; ‘ am weak; you are strong. What ever happens to us In the future will depend on you.” I am not strong. The man never lived who was strong. If Sally were n young girl, or an unmarried woman, knowing men only as she sees them >n the heroes in books and plays, hoi gnorance would be pitiful, and, in a wa J. would be ner defense. But she lias been married ten or twelve yea»ra to the weakest man ever created, inere is nothing she does not know' Loout my sex. Keen, observing, of an »ualytical mind, I have known her to ead a man tho first time she met ■ :m, and to point out weaknesses and defects which no one suspected at the me, but which later developed. I have seen her give the man who coasted of his strength such a child- ke look of admiration that he at Jnce became like putty in her hands. *nd she did it, not with any tempta tion to transgress—Sally, never trans gressed the law, Diary—but just to prove his weakness. She is a clever woman, a beautiful ^'oman, a woman born to love and be loved and is a neglected wife! That ■* a bad combination. I can think of none worse. She is tired of being a Pullman car tramp and wants to come home. J *’ould ask the pretty nurse to marry m*. and run away from temptation but what manner of a man would I be to sacrifice a girl in that fashion? And. besides, no man likes to run from temptation. He likes to hang around it to prove he is not afraid. He likes to flirt with it. dIlly dally "ith it, and temporise with it, say ing ail the time. “Ah. who's afraid ' you! You think I am weak like- ’ er men, don't you? Well. I am not!” j And to show that he is not afraW ho walks a little closer to It, and i res 't, | u the maudlin manner of my oiueited sex. to come onl And If it fates Iri Its advance, he knows It :,oT - for he has begun to pursue it! 'Jh, Sally. Sally! Yoi who know' the n *en, to talk of our strength. T am ashamed of you! October 28—I h*’'* a-swered Sal- s letter at last, and this is a copy. " V h^ip me to sonars myself with n ’ v r ©ns' , !enre should such a future • fitment of my moral accounts bf r pssarv. Mv dea- Sally—Your 1e*ter Inter- - °'J me so much that T hav« be**n ’ “’’h in trying to frame n rep!-. :r *’-bnpx voij may think if stra^ >• a man should pause outs;.: ... —————— ■ T ” - 1 AI i r. BA'i / A Thrilling Story of Society Blackmailers Lillian Bradley. enial ey«j. Graceful contour is the tiling Allen striven tor. In .the -certinto is JBetty -Martin, viiiu accc its the ubanm of tier eoprano vcicr by J.iia -warming smile that, gathers -her Intteners into a hand of frlenda who ere ready Ud -ttmen and enjoy. There is some thing personal anti intimate about Miss Marl id’s tfiieiufty emile. It curves a kindly mouth into gen erous curve and shows teeth that would sell any derUiffSioe. Oharm cal expression is .the point Miss Martin trtings out in :a ftmhirm to win “ffienttH and admirers. MisBlIillltan Breilley il« » .-H*Htu«truB BhmttB who miltivatos iiepose Of manner, .and very tactful .are UeT etoaijy eyas, welkereomeii -hair and welhmoldcd Itpe sin these days -of fewer and unrest and acro batic ,grandparents. Ornoirting sand breeding nifilco the fine hlnnrted horse sand rtim aristnuratir. woman thoroughbreds hn tttrair oolaae. And tt ts liiase same guallttas that give Miss Bradley ilia emotive Imauty. “I IT Is invposeiblrt to nx&ctly Imitsts ths voles of an animal,” Raid Minns, learssdly. “Soms poo- p!e rocko-n that th*y aro v«ay clover In Imita tion* of that kind, but anyono who knows can ««• that they are all out.” 'Who told you that you were a Judge?" asked Sima Then Minns got cross and offered te bet Mm h«JJ a dollar that he could not execute even a plauefkle imitation of an animal. "Any member of the animal kingdom?" queried Sims. ••Yes,” answered Minns, adding. "I wae going to say ‘except a donkey,’ but I remember that yon did that quite naturally.” "Done for ten oente!” exclaimed Sims. He went to the middle of tha room, and the others awaited the result. Sims stood perfectly quiet torn a minute, then returned to his seat and asked for the ten cents. "What d# you call that? Tha^a ne rattatten." cried Minns. "Excuse me.” observed Sims, politely, "that was a fish.” And the othera. insisted upon Minns parting with the money. heaven’s gate and deliberate, if or not, he will enter, but when he is so worldly wise that an imagination quickened by other men’s experience pictures a gibbet within the walls, it is not strange that he hesitates and may turn away. “There was a time, my dear girl, when I was young, that I would scale the walls to obtain that for which the gates are now opening inward for me. but the spirit cf adventure cools with the years, and a man who has been decent almost half a century has a pride in his record that has the sav ing grace of a moral sense. "1 would like to keep the slate clean, my dear. No doubt when St. Peter looks at me over the rim of his glasses it will be an accusing ey* be cause of the slaughter 1 have done to my business competitors, and if there is a crown there for me it will r.ot be double-derlcod. nor heavy with jewel*. But will bear no resentment to this custodian of earthly accounts and heavenly jewels Ft. Peter was not a business man and simply doesn't understand. ‘‘But he wa.« a man on earth at one time, and knew many women, and for that reason 1 feel satisfied that I will not be judged harihly. There is no page in the account book bearing my name that Is darkened by any wom an’s shame. Surely the wolf that has fought only other wolves, and never attacked a rheopfold, wMll not have to ask for mercy. "I love you, Sally. T do not claim it Is entirely a spiritual love. That variety of affection Is found only in the books, and here, of late, even the romaneists are flavoring it highly with the love of the flesh. ] love you with the love a man give* the woman he would like to marry. And that means that 1 respect you above all other women. Would you care to risk that respect? Believe me. dear girl, a man’s respect is worth more than h ! a love any day. J1 ST \ FBIE.\D. "Come home, or not, as !t pleases you. You will find me your good friend, as I have always been. But it is a friendship that needs watching, and pruning, and holding back. Re member that! "Manett© is* well. Richards Tompkins and the other friends in my home, for l cannot call them ser vants, are the same dear faithful souls. My sickness taught me many things, and among them was that no man need feel friendless so long ns he has an employe. They want to he hi« friends, and it i s his fault if they are not. ‘‘We still have and love the brnwn- ! eyed pup. Ills heart breaks every | morning when Manet te starts off tc (school without him. and heads every I night,when she comes home. "I am leaving the pretty nurse tc the last A good girl, Sally: a loving 1 and lovable girl, just fascinating I enough to make me wicked in mv thoughts, and Just good enough tc make me a better man than I have ever been, in my actions. •max.” fNovelized ky> Sfnoe woman suffrage was grant* <1 in Illinois there have been three elec tions, and on each occasion less than 10 per cent of the women voted. A bee, unladen, will fly 40 miles an hour, but one ■ coming home laden with honey does not travel faster than 12 miles an hour. drape- contain from 12 to 2*> per cent of sugar—more, that is, than any nthA-r fruit. Austria was the first country to ui< > 1 • i j.*• sy stem of postcards. This was in 1S60. An old Scotch- lady was noticed by her minister to fall asleep every time he preached, while when young men from St. Andrew’s University actod as substitutes for.him she remained awake and was most attentive. The minister one day demanded an explanation of her conduct, and she re plied: "Week meenister, I ken the Word of God is safe in your hands; but when the young fellows from Ft. Andrew's come along, it tak*‘S me all iny time to watch them.” Are wo to hold ragtime revues and other hustling forms of entertainment responsible for the following tragedy? A music hall artist who used to tour the provinces with a flock of performing ducks found managers no longer willing to book his sedate show. After he had been resting for some time he received a telegram asking hirn to open on the following Monday at a variety theater in the north of Kngland. In reply he w ired: "Regret can not come. Have eaien the Act." A witness in a particular case had be«-n examined by the lawyer of the plaintiff and \vu turned over to the lawyer for the defense for cross-exami- na lion "Now, then. Mr. Smith,” began the legal one. "what di<j I understand you to say ihat your occupation is?” "I am a piano finisher,” answered the witness. "Yes. I see.” peraisted the lawyer; "bu: you must be more definite. I »o y ou polish them or do you move them?” \ little girl, finding her grandfather . tda ■ - i • o rr eyflai > .s ' •? l»ed from a ]' * f •: 1 nap. ; »’c oh! -- olded • • o <: <i : i*m- l oughm--< VY*. .go ! ’ >..*• • claimed, pouting. "I wasn't wough. I was only iw.nig lo open your eyes by the stwinga.” (From the play by George Scar borough, now being presented ai the Thirty-ninth Street Theater, New York. Ferial rights held and copyrighted hy International News Service.) TO-DAY’S INSTALLMENT. “What does he mean by Uooiv about?’ ” she quavered. "Search, I suppose,” said her father. "For what?” “Evidence—do you fear It?” “No! ” But her own fluttering heart told her how she feared—everything. “A taxicab!” exclaimed Father Shannon, who had never left his post at the window. “Here!” exclaimed Graham. “Captain Holbrook and another man.” “He’s asked to see me. * * * I think lie i«? ready to talk now after the effect of the night.” said Graham answer lo .Mine’s questioning look. “Where was he during the night? llis rooms'.'” “The jaij.” replied Graham grimly. "The JAIL! WHY SHOULD HE B K IX J AIL - A X D—I ” “He’s a soldier, my dear,” said Father Shannon proudly, for that this ' ler was his friend. "What’s oni soh. like him?” announced nignt’s hardship to a "Air. Holbrook, suh Hattie. There entered Larry Holbrook, jam ty. clean-shaven, \Cel 1 -groomed, self-possessed, and showing never a mark of hardship from a night in jail. Giaham looked at him quiaically. “Good morning!” said our Captain, easily. “Won't you tell this officer, Mr. Graham, to wait in the hall for me?” And lie looked with quick lift ing eyebrow at Donnell, ex-guardian of . camera and telltale plateholder— am 1 now guardian-in-* hief to one Lawrence Holbrook. Another Scheme. "I’ll nswr-r fur Captain Holbrook,” sail the District Attorney. "All light, Councilor,” Donnell grinned it the prisoner. “Simply obeyin' orders, Captain.” "Certainly,” said Holbrook, in his unruffled good humor, and added ouite ak an afterthought, "Have a cigar?” "Oh no — sor!” said Donnell, mak ing a hasty exit from the danger zon** of "pickings.” The light of mischief went from Tfr Ihrook’s eyes .md another light turned instead. His voice deepened to its raie tone of protecting tender- a - hr v ent to the one woman in all the world. "The.; let me stay in mv room and you- they look yon- ” rc< ited Aline in a li tone of horror. WiLa she had no part now—but fair play—- fair play—that must be seen to at once. "Don't bother about me. I was perr-fectly comfortable,” said the Captain with a warm smile and the lure of the Blarney in his mellow voice. “But the injustice of it—I can’t live and ” The girl was wild past ail discretion now—she burned with hatred for her own numbing cow ardice. “THERE’S NO INJUSTICE WHEN THE FOX HOUNDS FOLLOW THE RED HERRING THAT YOU DRAG OYER THE TRAIL—T WANTED THEIR ATTENTION TO ME ” "’Red herring?’” queried the Dis trict Attorney. "I’ve got to take notice of every admission, direct or indirect, Captain, that, you make in my hear ing.” Holbrook faced him and spoke with a seriousness that weighted every word with force. There isn’t time, .VIr. Graham, for indirection. Your daughter is keeping still by my advice. Perhaps not the wisest advice—I'm a poor lawyer— she. needs the best. My night In the Jail gave my slow wits time to go hound the matter. It’s too serious to Ueprivo the girl of counsel. MR. GRAHAM. YOU’LL HAVE TO PART COMPANY WITH DEMPSTER!” "Right quite right, Mr. Graham," added Father Shannon. "You mean?” asked the father, look ing at his daughter. * 0 • She bowed her weary head beneath its weight of same and woe. “You are involved in this thing?” breathed the man slowly. “Yes. . awfully,” sobbed the girl in the relief of expression. Quickly spoke her champion, “Self- defense, sir.” "You mean—t lie killing!” gasped the horrified father. ”Sh! Those are thin doors -only a whisper,” said the captain, ever alert for ambuscade. "Tell me — 1 ” groaned Graham. YES. 1 KILLED HIM, DADDY; I KILLED HIM,” sobbed Aline. “My God!” whispered the sworn foe of p 11 criminals. “There's no evidence whatever. 1 broke the negative from the camera Nobody known Aline was out of the house,” tiie captain hastened to as sure him—with the assumption that the dispenser of justice was ready to foil his grim idea of “an eve for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” now. “I KILLED HIM—I KILLED A MAN,” moaned Aline. "You went to Flagg’s house?’ "Yes.” "Why?” “He telephonci; me to come.” “What reason?" peraisted the Coun cilor, in h ton*- that he could scarce keep from being judicial instead ol fatherly. To Bo Continued To-morrow, ■< A Tale of an Alarm Clock “H OW do I look?” inquired Miss McCarthy. as she circled about in front of the mirror in the rest room. “You look fierce, Marne.” said Miss Tillman with an obvious effort. “That color makes you look like a ripe squash.” ‘Well!” exclaimed -Miss McCarthy, stiffening angrily. “Of all the nerve! If you can’t think of someth.ng po lite to say, Jen Tillman, you’d just about as well keep dill. T don’t know that I care about being talked *o rude to.” * I didn't mean to be rude, Marne," rejoined Miss Tillman, humbly. "It'4 only Just that when it com*s to flba. I’m on the water wagon.” "You!” shrilled Miss McCarthy, for getting her indignation in her aston ishment. "Since when, please?” “Since last evening. I found out it ain't healthy for me to lie” "Go on and tell it,” said Miss Mc Carthy. 'I'llf£ YOUNG MAN. "You remember that young man I told you about who looks and acts so awkward?” asked Miss Tillman. "Well, I’ve been trying to dodge him for the last couple of months. Still, when It conies to candy and flowers and such things he's a wonder He wm just crazy to take me some where, but 1 simply couldn’t stand the thought of going any place with a fellow that looks so hayseedy. *1 kept putting him «»ff until last week, and then he got so determined about my taking dinner downtown with him and going to a show after ward that, honest, there didn't seem to be a thing more that I could say against it. Finally I just said that I would go Wednesday night Then lie asks wheia would 1 meet him, and I s&ys I’d meet him on such and such a corner, having uj more idea of do ing It than anything. I thought I'd pretend afterward that I couldnH get away from work until It was tOD late, or something “Well, nothing would do Wednes day morning but that I should bring down pa's alarm clock t > get tt fixed. It had quit work and he loves his clocks better than he does his folks. So that night when I was ready to go home I beat it over to the car with the alarm clock under my arm. Well, who should T see at the very corner where I was going to get on the car but Joe. the fellow I had promised to meet there! “Thinks T to myaelf, 'Here's where | you get yours, all right.’ But I j sneaked around back of tne crowd • and got in the car. Then that fool- ! ish, weak-minded alarm clock actu ally began to ring! Honest, I never felt so funny in my life. Here was little me, all lucked in behind a fat woman and my face all covered up | with my hat, and there was the altrm clock yelling its hand off! I * got off that oar in a hurry at the same corner, the clock still ringing.” “Oh, Roe? said Miss McCarthy. Did the Joe fellow hear it?” "Hear it!” repeated Miss Tillman. "1 should say hs did. And he wasn't the only one. Before it got through l think everybody in the world heard it. Everybody began laughing and crowding up to see w'hat was going on, and. just about the time a police man was trying to get in to see what was the matter Joe came up ” "Aw. say, wasn't that too bad?” cried Miss McCarthy, «ympaU.etically. "Well, to tell you the truth,” ad mitted Miss Tillman, “he looked kind of good to me then for once in his life.” | _ "But how did j ou get out of going | to dinner with Mm?” queried Mies McCarthy. "X «. dn’t get out of it. I didn’t seem to have any spirit left In me. I Just went. A KEAi. ( IE. “To tell you Che truth,’ went art Miss Tillman after a moment a pavsie, "I’ve done worse things In my life That fellow certainly does know how to show a girl a good ttme We had a swell d nner and then we took in the best show in town, and there were roses and a box of eandy to take home with me. Joe certainly does know' how to treat a girl. And he's smart.” concluded Miss TiJlmati. "He knew I didn't want to go piaoes with him and co-ming home he aeked me why. And I told Mm.” "Gee. you never did!” ejaculated Miss McCarthy. **What did. he gay?” "He asked mo to go with him and help him pick out some real swell clothes, and I’m going.” rejoined Miss Tillman, defiantly. Miss McCarthy curved her hand back of her ear and leaned forward as if listening. ‘‘Tirig-a-ling-llmg!” she chirped. "I hear that alarm clock tuning up to play the wedding march.” His Mistake. In a small country church, not long since, a little child was brought for ward for baptism. The young minis ter, taking the little one in his arms, spoke as follows. “Beloved hearers, no one can fore tell the future of this little child. He may grow up to be a great astrono- nif*r. like Sir Isaac Newton, or a great labor leader like John Burns; and it is possible he might become Presi dent. Turning to the mother, he Inquired, “What is the name of the child?” “Mary Ann,” was the reply. A Short Week ' The Goodleys once hud a parrot. Of couikc, it was a perfectly respectable bird, ocxasiiMially, hut on Sunday evenings, wnen Mr. Saintly paid his regular visits, II was deemed advis able to cover Polly with a cloth. Recently, however, Mr. Saintly took advantage of the half-holiday accru ing to him through the Shop Act, and made an extra call on a Wednesday. As he was ushered in Miss Mar Goodlex dexterously threw’ the cloth over Polly’s cage. Greetings over. thf*ro ensued the usual awkward pa ise whirii was nroken by h squeak from the covered cage- "Well, I'll be everlastingly blessed, said Polly, "this has been a launder ing short week,” XMAS RATES Reduced over N., C. & St. L. Ry. and W. & A. R. R Apply any Agent. CHICHESTER S PILLS 'iFjcv toe Diamond drank U TOE DIAMOND OKAND I-.d!,.! A.k Hr.i,|,, f„ /\ < M ulis.-tor . D!mn.«(t Hr,,,/i\\ • Il» in R-4 *n<1 Cai.i niet*i: -\Vr .-m*.. •**>!( , h R: .r RlbHon. V/ /.**• *• Bijt of foor » KR\M» rn.l •At •» 1 »*»• hnwniRest. 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