Newspaper Page Text
Fun From College Wits— 'z est
One on W. J. B.
J{!B'H'Nl!\-—W VWitam the Bilent ocome
from Nebraska'
Teacher—Why, Johnnis! Marcy sakes nol
U. 0
SD(?LE STUDE put shingle out,
Proclaiming him M. D,
But from A. M. to iate P. M.
His offioe was M. T,
ulm.mnmmomcm
tradn.”
“How would the “lest Daye of Pompell
do?™
“Pompeil?! Who wes het Fow &M he
o T L
“Ihink £ was some ¥ind of an eraptien”
P pes
| o >y
€ 00
e e
The Bids Are Out.
At the Other End.
Amfloldgcnnemnmhmm
ble with the telephone. He could hear
nothing but a confused jumble of sounds,
and finally he became so exasperated that
te shouted tnto the transmitter:
“Is thare a bltthering fool at the emnd of
‘s line?™
“Not at this end,” answered a cool, fems
sine volsa™
Hashimura Togo at the Seashore---By Wallace Irwin
lolu'tho Letter of a J?nnou Boy
of-all-work to the Editor of
GOOD HOUSEKEEPING MAGA
ZINE.
Published b‘ Permisslon of GOOD
HOUSEKEEPING MAGAZINE.
To Bdttor “Good Housekeeping Mag
_azine” who know how cook varie
" tles of wea-shells
PAR MR.:—Among the fresh
alr at Sandfiea Beach, Conn,
employed by Hon Mrs. & Mr.
Liddbeater, I am no longer to be
found at that address. If someons
could find a seashors without an
ooean attached to it I should be more
happily to remaln.
Nikkamura Japaness Rmployment
Agcy send me there, where I arrive to
smiling blus porch setting alonesoms
amid winds. The Internals of that
house resemble bleached almhouse,
yot Hon. Mrs Liddbeater say she
were fortunate to obtain it in fash
fonable location price 2008 monthly.
“While by seashore we love the
tough simplicity of life,” she anug
gest with sweet-hearted expression.
“We must pay expensively for our
discomforts here, vet we are pride
ful to do so.”
Thess Liddbeater family have got
two (2) ohildren of assorted sexes,
age 17 & 18 respectfully. FEclalre'are
girl name and Oliver his. Both wear
very giggling clothes and love to be
engaged. She got Stanhope Whiffle
budd, delciously matinee boy, for
hers, whila Hon. Oliver obtaln sweet
%ean attention from Hon. Bluebell
awk, youngly lady of extreme tango.
But when Frvday night hrrive up
my vacation become conslderably
more entangled. From out from de
pot emerge Hon. Mr ILdddbeater with
tired-business expression while read.
ing Wall strest news from paper.
“At 4:08 to-morrow a. m. high tide
shall arise and@ codfish will be biting
viciously,” he say so. “Therefore we
go fishing™
Groans by all
“Mavbhe you prefer to enjoy vour
asasickness alone” renig Hon Mrs
adam with Pankhurst expression.
‘Parling, I could not” he reprieve
am determined to share my pleas
a'es with my famlilv. Therefore, we
arise upward at 2:30 to be prompt
with hooks."
At 3:30 come tap-knock to door
“Wihat {s 17" I require with startle
“2:30!" holla Hon. Liddbeater voice
out there. “Arise to go fish!”
“Togo” demanded Hon. Liddbeater
like Napoleon, “while we fish you
thall go along and whittle dbait. Also
prepare lunching for 10 and be very
impromptu ahout It.”
I do so and wa nextly go to shore
where 1 must carry complsta lunch
...SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
SOUTHERN UNIVERSITY
OF MUSIC. «
353 Peachtree St., Atlanta, Ga. !
Gerard-Thiers, Kurt Mueller, (
X Directors. §
{ Unsurpassed faculty. High stand. |
( ard In all departments. Dormitory.
. Write for caulo&n. ¢
: SUMMER SCHOOL during June |
k and July. $
(
Copyright. 1314 by the Star Company. Great Britafn Rights Raserved.
Oomes High.
“DOM beliews in fres love ™
“No, i think love is always purchased
dearly "
Must Have Lost His Head First.
JOK)OI’Y-—-DN old Coinstax lose Interest
tn thkt chorus girl?
Choflyp-—-Interest? 1 should say, and most
of bis princigal ;
Hubby’s Advice.
!,P—M servant in the way she should
s
#ho—Tes, and the first ihing you know
she does.
A Good Example.
PROD‘r—GM an example of en {maginary
spheroid.
Btude—A rooster's egg, sir.
Self Defence.
STUOINT {endurtng a face massage)—
Gad! That towel was hot!
Barber — I'm sorry, but I couldn't hold
it any leneas
ing, including baby and umburella.
Pretty soonly we arrive to detestable
whaleboat being kept by salted gen
tleman resembling damaged admiral
All the ocean geem to tip up on one
side as if it was going to spill in Cal
{fornia. Something inside my inte
rior stumack seem to speak of my
dead ancestors. And look! Each
stylisk person of that crulse begin
concealing thelr happiness by laying
down on it. Groans. Yet Hon. Lldd
beater continue to make happy cheek
and smiling lip resembling Hon. Edw.
Foy seeming comic.
At lastly he motion Hon. Salt Gen
tleman to choke his engine.
“This are the exact patch of waves
where Thos. Cod come to chew their
cud,” he explained. ‘“Therefore, Hon,
Capt, stop boat. Togo, while all
other fishermans lay dyving, you shall
cut baits attractive to fish.,”
“It convenient, Mr. Sir,” I bereft,
“1 should prefer to join the other
groans."
“Continue to fish-hook or 1 dis
charge you,"” he dih
“If you would dlscharge me back
to shore I would bless you in Japa
nese,” I gargle, Yot he horridly threw
ma clams, unhappy mammals which
1 must amputate with dull knife
while spearing them with disgustly
hooks.
Hon. Liddbeater lit pipe of very
enraged smell. Groans by all
“Nothing like pip-smoke while fish
ing,” he say for smiles
Pretty soon Hon Boss make elec
tric movement with wet string. He
bite pips more cruelly while halling
in one enraged cod who mock him
with angry mouth,
“A heantiful fish!” he yellup joyvly.
“All see it!"
All those sicknesses report “Um"
with unhappy nose.
“Are he not beautiful fish?” he ask
it to me.
“Perhapsly when younger,” 1 disen
gaga while holding my head on.
Of suddenly Hon. Mr. Liddbeater
arise upward from pillows like a fried
snaka,
“For sake of your children,” repeat
her, “I ask you to cease making clams
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
% College
! -
o LA N
.r-:‘:_" - .} b \1(.
o o T B G 5 TR
. Tan FORTY T i B
—'fil‘: ll ” e .
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?‘b" (RTSB 3 C e
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LSRR, l:-..‘\,’.g.-. ) _’l ER N
. .‘. S ‘-:' ,Y._
57 In, -0 o IR D i R
AR T e S N :
A Standard College for Women
Ideally located; most modern Con
servatory best equipmeant aplendid
health record,; most beautiful campus
Offars full courses in Liberal Arts and
' Sciences, Expression, Painting, Do
mestic Science and Muslc
Cox College has seventy-two years
of illustrious history Write to-day
for catalog and book of views. Ad
dress,
,
COX COLLEGE,CoIIege Park, Ga.
Chances Good.
wnm - Why
don't you have
it charged?
CHOLLY — But
they don’t know me
there.
WILLIE — Then
they’ll charge it
Correct, *
Bit Down.
P ROFESSOR —
Who was the
mother of Scipio Af
ricanus?
IGNO RAMUS
(thoughttully)-Why,
Mras. Africas s
and people and Japs and filsh miser
ablg for selfish joy of your depravity.
Put us somewheres where we can run
away."
“Fishing can not be accomplished
by running away,” he deploy with
Samurai expression. I never depart
off until I have caught 14.”
“If the boat sink, I be obliged:'"”
gaggle all together like chorus-girls in
hospital.
“l know how!” I holla with sudden
ness of intelligence. “By preparing to
swim you shall snub those 14 cod
fish!” W
Thusly exclamming, I lept uply &
grabb hammer where it layed sleeping
beside lunch. With nimble ankles pe
culiar to heroes, I jump to bung-plug
in central middle of that Dboat.
Whacks! Uply sprung plug quite
corkishly and next came huj sprout of
salt Atlantic approaching inside the
glanterous fountain,
“Brainless species of mice!" re
proach Hon. Mr, while attempting to
brush out ocean with heel. Yet al
ready Hon. Boat resemble wthmb
where all set in lake. Alarming” wake
fulness from seasickness was next to
arrive, and—hbefore I could acknowl
edge—each person make flop-splash
to water, including me who was there
amidst swimming while Hon. Boat
turn over on his nose and fioat up
down,
1 have Hon. Mrs. Liddbeater, lady
of large tonnage but considerable
floatage. Hon. Oliver save Hon. Bluse
bell. Hon, Liddbeater save himself.
Hon. Elcaire save Hon. Stanhope.
Hon. Captain save Hon, Bottle. So
everybody were quite comfortable,
thank you, hooking their nails to
stummack of that boat. But where
was room for me? I continue on
wards splashing doggishly.
“Get off of!” snagger Hon. Mrs,
giving me crude push with heel while
I attemmp to sclutch.
“You are discharged!"” howell Hon.
e —————————————
~ SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
- N SO v SR e
iB&TR SR X 3 ¥
t \“::\:“ *\“’} Ret ) A 3
i § e "’A>:\"‘“ ):rfi ‘pf‘*’\ sa AR 3 j
§ $ ™ RNN -‘i< o QR Nk S RERRE TR
£ ¥ ST p SRR ¥ DU % 3 3
iTR T R
Aine B SETRR L R WY TR
N S Sia R L g
t S §§s«’ RN N R 3
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B R e Sgl el o
DN SRR R S
} o TR SR = NRRSEERESE RS |
W R RS Sl ol = LB
P AN R e e NR R R SRR
e 1 . eI b SRR
RS AT T & TN RS
\ LR P : R e L
o e T A&~~~y
&M ORI OSSR
:‘ LR 3 > S 3§ 3 3 R S \ 3 N A “\\'&-
MOUNT DE SALES ACADEMY
CHARTERED 1876 MACON, GEORGIA
Conducted by the Sisters of Mercy
Unsurpassed for location and healthfulness
The course s thorough, embracing all the branches requisite for a seolid
N 0 X¢ "-"M‘ education. Departments of Art, Music and Elocution
Far Prospectus, address .
THE MOTHER SUPERIOR
HEARST’'S SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA, GA, SUNDAY, JULY 19, 1914
Going One Better.
“B‘Nor‘ went the rifies at the maneuvers
“00-00," screamed the pretty girl—s
nioe, decorous, surprised little scream. Bhe
stepped backward into the surprised arms
of & young man.
“Oh,” said ghe, diushing, “T was frightened
by the rifles. [ beg your pardon.”
“Not at all,” sald the young man. “Let's
go over and watch the artillery.”
Haven't Got To.
M!xm—-!ht have we got t' eat this morn
in'?
Rora—We afu't got te est pothin' if we
don't want ¢o.
Oertainly Not.
HHM you deaf te my pleadings?
Bhe—l am.
He—But what If | were to offer you a dis
mond ring?
She—Oh, 'm not stone deaf.
e ———
0f Oourse.
s'numm—wny. Pat, there used to b
two windmills there.
Pat—To be sure, sir.
Btranger—Why is there but ome thers
now?
Pat—Bßure they took one down to lave
more wind for t'other,
ey y
Yawning Is Easier, Too.
CRITIO—-Do you think your new play was
successful ?
Actor—Yes; thers was not a hiss In the
whole house.
Critic—Well, you know people cannot
yawn and hiss at the same time
————
Was Still On.
MR. PICADILLY-—But my dear young lady,
the sun pever sets on British subject
Miss Madison—Perhaps it's because they
can't be trusted in the dark
After the Concert.
SHE—-R must be fine to sing on the Glee
Club.
He—lt ought to be fine er lmpriscnment.
Liddbeater. “Report to my office in
New York for your payment.”
Thinking thusly, I struck offward
in gen. direction of New York, and
when lastly seen I feel very free, al
though expect to be drowned.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly,
HASHIMURA TOGO.
vngHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
= (T ek
S A
sl
g NO S RTR T e g
> \:~ E\ »_l ll_i,_,,f‘ L';L}'\ y
— o S T
i TR L
Military School
The Yoangest Military School in
the United States.
Yet it will be fuil grown in Sep
tember. The $lOO,OOO invested in
this institution gives it modern
buildings equipped with electric
lights, steam heat, showers on
every floor, swimming pool, ete.
Every modern comfort and the
very highest aims to make real
men of boys 12 to 21 years of age,
Tuition complete $3566 except
uniforms, whicYu are supplied by
local merchants at low I’;;nces.
Located in the healthful Pied
mont section, where climatic con
ditions are ideal. Thorough in
struction, 16 units required for
graduation. Athletics encouraged.
Write for full particulars.
A.S. FORD, President,
Salisbury, N. C.
...BCHOOLS AND COLLEGES., __ SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
ATLANTA CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC
Paoulty of Artist-Reoltaliets, Al d'&u'(monh complete, School On
chestra and Chorus. Publio sohool Muslo, Reading, Oratory, Lan
guagesa
Fuft Sesslon Opens Sept. 7, 1974,
The Foremost Sohool of Fine Arts in the South,
ATLANTA CONBERVATORY OF MUSIC,
Peaditree and Broad Streets. Attanta, Oa.
CASTLE HEIGHTS ff & 2
EREE S ST ;
.. FOR BOYS S g Lk e
d‘ g -‘-‘1 s, Dty e «”‘ S ; ¥, ! (g,g ’ :’a_,' ad nfié 3;'
iy i R B ’ if OB SRR |1 R I B
VIR SR Pl SN S oS | BRI e eOl T
G el v O R SRR B vMo bl
ARG e T
W ‘.‘; s “M%», sy s
A schoo! that puts character and manlness nlny: first. Has no peer {n squip
ment among Bouthern boys' schools. Nine superb buildings with all outdoor
facilities for clean sport. Academic and commercial courses. Certificate ad
mits to all American universities that accept certificates. Rates $B9O. For
handsomely {llustrated catalog, address
- L. L. RICE, Ph.D., Mead Master, Lebanon, Tenn.
e ———— e R
e ? PR e 2di LA
% P LRt P e At L S R l\—; ;:\k'-
V) (R e e Tmle Sty 1L PR
7% - B GRS RTt e oT R
) / r- & B i i 1 "T AN
N ./3“'// il E : 4 TR SRy Y
by Bl / {llll Bt R(Y ! 1 \ e s )
,;_’.4_«:‘_{4 11110 AT M 1 Ul 0 | ; 25‘{"7’ %
g | BILU PRI Rl L 62
RRr eoA IR I P PUEUE B P LEDR P :qu»‘ 3
A k) s " B tan T 5 et e -
s st M~ st o]
TR RYO I~ e go e A
1374 PEACHTREE ROAD - - - - ATLANTA
THE BSOUTH'S MOST BEAUTIFUL SCHOOL
DISTINCTIVE FEATURES.
1. Boarding Department limited. $lOO,OOO in Grounds and Bulldings.
2. New chnool Building, modern In equipment, with provision for open
air classrooms.
8. Cournles in Domestio Science and Physical Training a part of regular cur
riculum.
4. D;lartment-: Kindergarten, Primary, Academic, College-Preparatory,
usic, Art, Expression,
Thirty-seventh Session begins SEPTEMBER 10, 1914.
Write for lllustrated catalogue “B.” L. D. and EMMA B. SCOTT,
Principals.
eee e s
/,/ '/)/W . T—— TGy B
st g R e SRy
7 Mi H ’ - {6':\ "
o 7 188 rianna s PG
5 = - =\\\\\j 2
/. ¥ /
# Select School for Girls \s ¥
enjoya the reputation of being one of the most ¢
thorough institutions in the South. &
For over 20 years it has been patrontzed by the best fam
/ {lies In the State.
It is in every feature and effect an institution wherein
'L refinement, quietude and solicitous attention for each indl
\ vidual under its care influences the very highest moral cul
| ture and social polish.
1\ It is & graded school with Colleglate, Grammar and
\ Primary Departments and it offers the best advantages
\ in Music, Languages and Art. /
N\ Domestic Science and Post-Graduate Courses will be added.
\\ OPEN MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7ih. 7
Write Miss Hanna for full particulars, 7
\ courses of instruction, ete.
Phone vy 7188-L
\ 368 Peachtree Street !
Atlanta, Ga. St
W
et
——————————————————————————————————————————
W G :"I:":" o i ot F /-_'l": e ia] A i P
Wi S R i G
Gl A R .1 ~,‘/(' i T gt T i
Wi {g’é»)'lf'v,/;:;",,-‘.r- Ii e By g e G SR "'ft:.s L
A Ol 1% 1 1 S MLLRtotOB i 17 TS
e i R
Te L R R ’:3 DU oA e Rl TPR
S gl e RS L R UL
EEE S il
& R ; By 22 t
The Beautiful New
Mount St. Joseph
Conducted by the Sisters of St. Joseph
Augusta, Ga.
MONTE SANO, Boarding School for Young Ladies, delightfuily situ
ated in a city far-famed as an ideal health resort, air pure;and invigo
rating. Every educational advantage given the preparatory and high
school departments.
Affiliated with the Catholic University of America (Washington, D.
C.), also fully accredited to the State University of Georgia.
For Catalogue, address
“THE SUPERIORESS.”
For over a century THE UNIVERSITY
OF GEORGIA has been training the youth
of the State for leadership in all the activ
ities of the people. .
Law, Pharmacy, Medicine
Agriculture, Forestry, Horticulture, Véterinary
Medicine, Animal Husbandry, Civil and Eleo
trical Engineering, Road Engineering.
Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Science
Courses.
Special courses leading to medical collages.
School of Commerce and Fiinance.
Peabody School of Education for the train
ing of men for educational positions.
Graduates courses for Master of Arts amd
Master of Science, in regular course or in the
summer sessions.
Tuition is free, except in the first three pro
fessional courses above.
Board and lodging on campus is $12.50 a
month.
There s no preparatory department. Stand.
ard entrance requirements.
Send for Bulletins descriptive of the Depart.
ments desired.
Address THE CHANCFLLOR, Athens, Ga
R
__BCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. ___ SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. .
AN])W QOLLEGE
|
; CUTHBERT.GA'
! .
'Challenges Comparison as to: Progressiveness,
'Efficiency. Wholesomeness and the Charm of Life
Great Advances this Year 3
!J. W. MALONE, Pres. - CUTHBERYT, GA.
| “AUBURN”
i
|
| ALABAMA POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE .
! The Oldest School of Technology in ¢he South
| 89 Professore and Instructors B§2o Students
| . 20 Well Equipped Laboratories
: Summer Session, July 24 to September 4, 1914,
| Next Sossioy Beging Wednoeday, SBeptember 8, 1914
| New Buildings and New Eqaiprment.
DEPARTMENTS - R
| L Coflege of Engineering and Mines—OCtvil, ENeotrical, Mechantos),
Chemical, and Mlnln? Engineoring, Architecture, Metallurgy,
Mechanic Arts, Technical Drawing, Machine Design, eto.
IL College of Agricuitural SBolences—Agriculture, Hortioulture, Axl
mal Husbandry, Botany, Entomology, Chemistry.
Depa::mont of Pharmacy (Four Year Three-Year, and Two-Tear
11. Academio Departments—History, Emglish, Mathemattcs, Latin,
German, French, Physics and Astronomy, Political Economy,
Psychology.
V. Coliege of Veterinary Medicine.
Expenses. Free tuition to residents of Aladbama, $20.00 to non
residents. Board in Dormitory and with private familles.
For Catalogue and Further Information, Address
CHAS. C. THACH, LL.D, President. AUBURN, ALA
ENGINEERING
"“' S The doors of opportunity are wide
2(D g‘,/,% open to young men with technical
f&‘mx training. They are not 0.n1%'. fitted to
P NEC il 23] | ill positions of responsibility in the
'-”‘b'y“ag (27 technical world, but have a broad
N\F4T ’|’\’ foundation upon which to build in
llt» CiviL "I' any line of work. . They, become
Os\ | trained thinkers. .~ . ufi\mr
£ b FEV=UAAN e :
,wi%¢§ll<‘)u» Georgia School
ol of Technology
»"f ;‘\"’ is an institution for techrical training un
']» CHANC 4[' 'surpassed in the South. It not only im-
B Za&\ | parts knowledge, but teaches the young
l% 'man how to use it.
G ” g"['\ “‘Graduates of Ga. Tech are among
i@{ofi 5 ii the leaders in the development of the
W/»z e r‘] : natural resources of the South.”
& (f”_t';"""" Eminently practical and thorough courses ir)
‘.. (QCTR\(' Mechanical, Electrical, Textile and Civi
=a\||| Engineering, Engineering Chemistry,
3,‘ B\ | Chemistry, Architecture and Commerce.
bl BN e The moral tone of this institution is unusually
m\\.f‘ i(] § high. Special attention to physical training, The
g= 17 PR J| New Tech Athletic Field is one of the bestin the
%{ TC"E'-'%‘ United States. For illustrated catalog address
TZWITV|| K. G. MATHESON, President
II EXTVVY " ATLANTA, GA.
|||ll||m||ll||| ] ! LI
l beorgio ochool of Technology
i GEORGIA MILITARY
| ACADEMY
i Teaches boys to touch their cafis
I not only to their Flap, but to the
|l other worth-while things in life,
A GOOD WORKMAN MUST
R HAVE GOOD TOOLS
N Therefore, the Georgia Military Academy
|\( is equipied for teaching as_is no other
[AN boy's school in the South. But the pur-
I f ”\\ pose of the school does not end with
; \\\ equipment or books
l \ It Teaches Your Boy to Salute
Truth, Right, Self Control, Obedience to
Constituted Authority and Patriotism.
The Georgia Military Academy is classed A by the U. S. Govern
ment and designated one of the six especially commended of
‘ America. Military Department under active army officer.
Especial attention to physical welfare in san
|| itary, roomy quarters and a home of comfort.
| ‘ Let us send you full information about the place,
‘ the studies, our care in case of sickness, and ouz
methods of making men of your boys.
COL. J. C. WOODWARD, A. M., President,
COLLEGE PARK, GA. Atlanta’s Leading Subuzb,
!\ & / \\\ \\\ "v // .
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