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BEST HUMOR, MOV1NC
PICTURES, VAUDEVILLE.
ATLANTA, GA, SUNDAY, NOVE.MMEK 1, 1914.
STORIES
By Jack London, Compton
Mackenzie and Bruno Lessing
PICTURES
By Harrison Fisher, A. B. Wenzell and
Andre Castaigne—All in the New Special
Once-a-Month Magazine
Presented with to-day’s
Sunday American
Watch for it every month.
Business Is Business
By T. E. Powers, the Famous Cartoonist
Copyright. 1914. by tH*> Mar Company. Great Britain Rights RnMtrred
SAY B05S! CAN I
TAKE A Run DOWN
To NEW York For,
\A FEW DAYS?
No!
CERTAINLY NOT
"WE BU5INESS
NEEDS YOU
here:
OH AUSS PEACH BLOW
will You take a
^JELEQRAtA ?
f CALL THE
STENOGRAPHER’
I WISHToSEND
ATELEQRAM
QEORQt I HAVE CHANGED
m MIND You MAT BEAT IT
for new York at once
I JUST SENT A
1ELE GRAM To GEORGE
To STAY IN NEW York
AND LOOK AFTER THE
AAAIH oFFiCf -IhF
a!
ITHINK CHICAGO
' IS A GREAT
BU5INESS CITY
f PosT-TlVE-LYJ
..
Conroy and Lemaire in “Beans”
The Great Darkface Comics
at the Keith Theatres
G EORGE—Now the next time I take you on a street oer with me I
don't want to see you hanging on a lady's ear for a strap.
FRANK—Oh, was dat a ear? Ah Jes' reached up an' grabbed
sump’m dai. felt lak leather, an' hung. Ah saw no lady.
GEORGE—It’s lucky the car ahead was behind and the car behind
ahead, else we wouldn’t hare had a good excuse to jump off, and the lady
would have had you Incarcerated.
FRANK—Jes’ say all 'at again, piece by piece, befo' you assembles
It. What 'bout behind?
GEORGE!—The car ahead was behind and the car behind ahead.
FRANK—Left the conductor behind?
GEORGE—Now, listen. If the car ahead was behind the car behind
the car ahead, then the car behind the car ahead was ahead of the oar
behind. But the car behind the car behind was ahead of the car behind,
so the car ahead of the car behind was behind Instead of ahead.
FRANK—Oh-h! Dat's dlfTrunt
GEORGE—If you weren’t such a punk pinochle player you might
Agger better.
FRANK—Who eay Ah’s a pnnk pinochle playah? Who, nlggah, who?
When Ah plays a ten o’ spades, an’ you throws away a ace——
GEORGE:—No nse t* argyu. Stop arguyun. Oeorge Wash’ton never
argyud.
FRANK—Who’s Jawge Washln’? He nevah played no pinochle wlf me
GEORGE—Why, Oeorge was the discoverer of our country.
FRANK—He was? Well, dawgone! Ah thought Abe Lincoln done dat.
GEORGE:—No, noo. Lincoln la the penny manufacturer.
FRANK—Den where do Napoleon come In?
CEORGE—Oh, you're thinking of Nick Carter, the great vocabullit. t
FRANK—Taxlcabblst? What dat word?
GEORGE:—Why, It means just the same as osteopathy.
FRANK—Yes, Ah knowed ’at But what’s the destination of ’at
cahbist word?
GEORGE—It consists largely of memorabilia syllablca.
FRANK—Cb-huh! Daes what Ah thought It meant
GEORGE:—Now that I've made myself perfectly elucidatory, what
more may I do for you?
FRANK—Ah don’t know whatcha may do, but yuh bettah give me
dem two bits yuh owes me.
GEORGE—That's not necessary. I’m taking you home with me now,
and will give you a wonderful dinner. We have excellent beans to-day.
FRANK—Beans? Ah bet Ah et ev’y bean dat growed dls year,
GEORGE—My dear numskull, beans don’t grow!
FRANK—Ooo! Where do dey gettum Cm. nlggah?
GEORGES—From the bean mines In Bermuda.
FRANK—Well, lan'mussy. Ah alwaye thought dey growed.
GEORGE—No! They dig ’em out of the mines, same as herring.
You knew about the herring mines, didn’t you?
FRANK—Yes, Ah knowed herrings was mined. But Ah was sure
beans growed.
GEORGE—Yer dead wrong. You’re thinking of moth balls,
fliAHli—Yea, 'at musta bean what Ah seen.
m
OwpyntfTit, 1014. by the Star Company. Great Britain Rights R<
GEORGE—Why. In some of those gigantic open-air mines In Bep.
muds they cut out beans weighing eight and nine tonl
FRANK—Well, did you evah heah of a miner glttln' killed by a bean
failin' on him?
GEORGE—Most sarcastically.
FRANK—Ah don’t see how they get apples enough to make vinegar
for even one bean.
GEORGE—Vinegar doesn’t come from apples! They get It from the
Vinegar River In Chill, where the chllly-bllly-beans come from.
FRANK—Must be a awful strong river.
GEORGE:—It is. The stream flows up. That’s what makes Is so
strong, especially when It travels east.
FRANK—An’ do they catch pickles In dat Vlnega Rlwa?
GEORGE:—No-ol Pickles aren’t wild. They’re manufactured from a
composition. Why. It took a man over stxty-fivs years to learn how to
Introduce warts onto pickles.
FRANK—He oughts be re-warted.
GEORGE:—Now, out In Lima, Ohio, the other day ■
’ FRANK—Oh-ho-ho?
GEORGE—I said OHIO.
FRANK—Well, howja spell It?
GEORGE—O, h, and a ten.
FRANK—Dat word’s a composition, too, ain’t It?
GEORGE:—Out there they have Lima beans weighing ninety tool
FRANK—Man, dat am some bean! How dey get ’em out?
GEORGE—Blast 'em out with a stick o' ketchup l
THIS IS CONDON’S IDEA OF CARL!
CARL is the White-coated Individual who Pre
sides Behind the Counter at “Sine” Jacobs’ Store
over on Whitehall, at Alabama.
Carl is the Chap who made “TheBreakfast’’Fa
mous in our Town. He is the Original Grouch-
killer. He Discovered The Merry Mocha, with the
Chastised Cream surmounting, The Flaky Hot
Rolls, The Real Country Butter and Grandma’s
Strawberry Jam.
“THE BREAKFAST” THAT MADE A
DIME FAMOUS! That brings ’em Miles and
Miles every Morning. That sends ’em out with
Joy on their Map I
No wonder Carl is the Happy Guy—Just see
what he sees from his Side of the Counter.
Wouldn’t a Bevy of Beauties like that make any
Gink happy? Wouldn’t it?
CARL is the Clever Dispenser that Set Three-
thirty every Afternoon as the Time for Chocolate-
Egg-and Malted-Milk, “THE DRINK” that is
making Everybody Healthy and Happy. The
Glasses are Chilled and Coated with Chastised
Cream. The Chocolate, the Egg and the Malted
Milk are poured into it 1 U-u-mmm!
JACOBS' PHARMACY NUMBER ONE
Whitehall at Alabama
1111 J 1 "™