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HBARST'S SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA. GA, SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1«H4.
~ ’ T
Mutterzolb and Son
By D. Darby Aaronaon.
CkwUM- 1*1*. *» •» mm On > 9m ti«m BW 9■■■■ ■*
“W
rHT, f»tb*r," «x<-l*itm«M MTTtmt. “yoo look an mlt** Wb.t’l
th* matter?"
"Don’t r«i »<*• 1 rant amnrar rue." repRed Mnttersolb.
"ao why are yon «landing there aaktnc me qneettone? Ten better fire
a ron orer quirk ae you ran and r«t me right away that ereat deteettre,
Bnmeteln. I want to arrest the bank. They wouldn’t let me take out
my own money, which I myself, mlt my own handa, pnt in, aad mil my
own eyes saw how I put It In."
"Wetl" interrupted Milton, "dldnt the bank offer any reason for not
allowing you to draw out your money f"
"Tea, they did," answered Mnttersolb. "They told me It's on account
of the Enropeanut war. But what am 1 got to do mlt that? Did I make
the war?
"1 went to rot a policeman to have the bank arrested, hut it fust
happened to be my luck that It’s the policeman's day off and I couldn’t
ret one. I don’t know what to do aow. To fall Into a lawyer’s handa Is
yet worster.
"Well, In a way tra a whole lot my fault, too. Whaa I pat 1a the
money I should*To made the bank glvt me cash security And. say, If
thsy eren glx* you security. 1 don't see the sense of keeptnr money In
the bank. All you do It put tn end take out—take out end put In. It
that tents? If yon could take out mttont putttnr tn. then them would bs
sense.
"Ton know I feol awful sorry for poor Abe Olasburv when I saw
the bank rafusa to giro him his stx hundred dollars, which la or cry dol
lar he has In the world. I felt very bad about It Fire hundred of It he
waa rolnr to lend me And, say. yon think the bank will rrer pay me
back the money for the drink end dram I bought Abe Otnaburg?
"Besides banks these days there's other troubles, too. Belters me,
a person that don’t get born tn these bad times ought to consider htm-
self very lucky. Tet, aa bad aa the times are, I could nearly laugh when
1 remind myeetf of hew Teddy Rosenfeld. the king of the Bull flhmooe-
era, called the people down for not hartng children, and told them they
wns making race chop sueyslda. Could he show me any children who
here any feeling at all for parents that would got born nowadays nslt
such s high cost of prices?
Ton ses how bad times are. aad ye* yon refuse to marry such a
fine A Number One girl like Tutsel fllnktswttch*e daughter Ltppky, for
which you get ten thousand dollars"
"But, father," protested Milton, “you couldn't expect me to marry a
girl that’s deaf and dumb. Why, she can’t talkt"
•What do you cam about thatr answered MMtemolb. "The money
talks. And, say, tt ain’t so bad aa you think to got a wife nowadays
whet can’t talk. All you could bear them say la they want diamond
dlnnsr time rings, and they tell you to take them to high tome, fancy
theatres In which It cost at least seventy-fire cents to a dollar for a seat
And you must also remember that we're not tiring tn Adam aad Bra's
times. Women's clothes cost money, too. They say that Adam was eery
anxious to gst the apple from the tree. Why wouldn't ho haf It didn't
cost him anything."
"Did you see the gentleman who waa looxltut for ywf tn term pied
Milton.
"That wus na gen Unman That wus my woollen man mlt a MIL ft
Is really my awn fault that I hare to pay bills to-day for wool. I
■hould’re never ordered so much. Wall, that wus because I wns foal
enough to hare to much confidence and rote yet for such a ewtndler as
President Bryan, who aald ha would make wool free. I sboald'Te glees
“And, say, if they
even give yon
.edurity, I don’t te*
the sense of keep
ing money In the
bank. All yon do te
put In and take
out—take out and
put in. Is that
*ense? If yon oonld
take out mitout
putting in, that
would be sense.”
t poor feller a show and roted for Jaks Elsenglaas on the Socialist
Labor ticket 1 am sorry now I didn't
“Morris GHckstetn, who voted for him, got a boa of cigars."
■T understand," Interrupted Milton, “that yon had some trouble wtrh
rowdies, who were throwing things down from the root"
"1 went np to the roof to catch them loafers," said Mnttersolb, "but
the minute I stuck my heed through the skylight I got a knock oa the
head, which I thought to myself Instantly killed as But It waa my
lnck I left my hat In the store. Imagine If I got htt with it on. A brand
now one, too, and nothing cheap about It either. Tew know the big
salesman that left ua yesterday worn nothing but high-priced beta"
"Bay. father." Inquired Milton, "that reminds me—how am you nsak-
tn* out in that new store of yours?"
"Ton mean the four and nine cents store? Ton know I took fa two
partners mlt me, and do they look enaplelons? They watch every more
I make. When I saw them doing that, there waa nothing alow about me
either, and I looked suspicions, too. Them fellers don’t know nothing
at all about keeping a stock.
"They let all the perishable goods stay till they perished. Them
wus witch hasel nuts, pepsin gum drops, Napoleon cakes, end the Napo
leon cakes looked as If they wns the original from Napoleon himself,
because they looked more than a hundred years old.
"I must say one thing, though, about that store—the customers them |
wus very friendly. Just like a family If we’d giro them e present mtt
coffee or tea, they'd give ns a present right back, etther the coffee or the
tea The first day we opened np I remember not one customer earns tn,
so we thought well, maybe, sometimes a bad beginning la a good start,
and we didn't mind ft so much; but the next day was the same Nearly
the whole day passed and not a customer showed np, so I commenced
thinking to myself and worrying what could tt be thet no easterners
come In. I couldn’t make out what It wax
"But In going out later for a little air, carried by my two partners, I
saw whst the trouble will There wus s big sign hanging In front of
the store, which said; This slots closed for repairs.’ We (etyot is
take It down."
Weather—Fair!
Business—Great!
What more could we ask?
The Globe News
We’re steppin' aa light as
Alex Sater, the Fawncy
Dawneing Mawster, these
days. There’s a Reason!
NO. 3a
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1914.
“THE POPULAR PRICED STORE.”
“Parcel Post Paid"
PUBLISHED AT THE GLOBE CLOTHING COMPANY, 89 WHITEHALL
STREET, ATLANTA, OA.
Published Three Times a Week.
THE QLOBE NEWS
Published Every
Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday
Exclusively in
Hsaret’s American and Qtorglan.
By .he
QLOBE CLOTHING COMPANY.
A Mighty Good Store, Patronised
by Young Mon from Six to 8ixty—
and Some Other*.
Located at Etghty-nlno Whitehall
8treet, In the Best Town on God’s
Orson Eorth.
EDITED BY JACK CARR, Under
tho Direction of 8IME end LEE.
NOW I’M SORE, AND I DON’T
think I’ll write onother line for
Sima. And If you'll Just lend me
your sympathetic—
see
EAR. I’LL POUR OUT MY TALE
of Woe end you can Judge for your-
oelf. Tho whole thing came up on
account of thle—
SWELL DRAWING OF ANNETTE
KELLERMANN, which Billy Oldnow telle
me la an exact reproduction of the
Famous Diving—
e e e
VENUS AND EXPONENT OF THE
Form Divine, whatever that means. I
consulted Oratton Condon and a lotta
ether Swell Artists—
• os
AND STUDENTS OF FORM, AND THEY
all agreed that Annette was there In
every line and from every aspect. 6o I
thought—
ess
TO MYSELF HERE IS WHERE I GIVE
my good friend Readers an unprecedented
opportunity to glimpae the Boofull For
why—
e e •
PICTURE "FITZ-HUCHS" AT FIFTEEN,
or Balmacaana at Twenty Bueka or
"Chance” Lida at One-fifty all the time?
Why not—
e e a
GIVE THE RESIDENTS OF ALBANY
or Smyrna or Woodstock or any of those
popular places an opportunity to etudy
Beauty and Art—
a a e
AS PERSONIFIED IN THIS SPLASHING
Mermaid? Why not? And I answer
myself thusly: Why Not? I admired the
Ease and Grace—
• OS
WITH WHICH ANNETTE DIVED FROM
the top of the column Into the pool of
Ink, which la supposed to represent s
Body of Water I
e e •
BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS WE
couldn’t put a Pool of Real Water In
tho paper—could we? Of course notl
Therefore we had—
see
TO U8E A POOL OF INK,AND YOU ARE
supposed to suppose that Is Real Water.
Just Imagine It, ae you might say. Of
course—
YOU DON’T HAVE TO IMAGINE
anything about Annette, for anybody
can see at a glance that she Is all
there. You don't need—
• s s
ANY IMAGINATION. DO YOU?
Well, I showed the drawing to Slme,
ind explained the connection be
tween Annette and’my "Corner"—
see
AND NATURALLY I EXPECTED
Him to be very well pleased.
Wouldn’t you? And I thot at once
that ho would Invito me up to—
see
JACOBS' FOR SOME HOT CMOC-
olate and a Chicken Sandwich) I
But Instead of that, what do you sup
pose he aald? Can you Imagine—
see
A MAN 80 UNAPPRECIATIVE OP
tho Beauty of the Form Divine that
he would be guilty of ouch a state
ment aa thla? Impossible!
e e e
I’LL JU8T TELL YOU WHAT HE
■aid and you can tea why I’m oore.
He Just glanced at tha picture a
mlnnlt, and said—
Whaddya
Tryin* to
Make Oota
Your
Corner—
A
Di ve ?
*gfi
Ch*
JEALOUS!
CHERRY DRUG COMPANY.
"The Little Store Around the Corner."
Ocllla, Go, Oct. 2S, 1914.
Slme, Lee, Carr, The Globe Clothing
Company, Atlanta, Ga.:
Gentlemen—I was "ohewmed," de
lighted and "tickled to death” with
the classy little "Lid” whloh I received
a few daye age. I must confess it
was a surprise, and an agreeable sur
prise. I hadn’t the slightest idea of,
receiving a ha*, of that quality for
such a paltry sum.
When I let my "Big Bud" east his
lims” sn It, he exclaimed) "A
aneet A Chancel My kingdom for
Chancel” But bear in mind the
fact that at that time his "kingdom"
wee worth enly three lonely "beans.”
He Immediately sent them to you, and
as a result he has the "Big Heed" over
possessing a "Chance,” a "Maxlxe"
8hlrt. and, ae he eeya, a “Boa” Tie te
maten.
With many, many thanka and an
assurance that I will send more or
ders, I am.
Your satisfied customer,
L. D. OXFORD.
• a a
Globe Clethlnr Company, Atlanta,
Qa.:
Gentleman—Inclosed find $4.90 fnr
tha Bath Reba. Sueeeea ta Tha Glebe
News always—enjoy reading it.
Yours truly.
T. ALBERT PRICE.
Aehbum, Ga.
SLIP US THE BUCK I
—If yon haven't already dene
so, and receive in return THE
BEST DOLLAR SHIRT IN
GEORGIA. Of course it’s made
in many and various patterns,
but RIGHT NOW all the Reglar
Guys are failin’ over themselves
to ret in on the ones with the
Stripes Painted across like this:
MY OUDENESS, LILLIE!
HOW THE OELLS DO
FALL FOR “MAC!”
Yon never know wots gonna
happen in this world, do yon?
Here Sime gets in the Swellest
Bunch of “MACKINAWS” that
ever graced a Clever Chap from
College, Business or Correspond
ence. He marks ’em to sell at
FIVE, SEVEN-FIFTY AND
TEN SIMOLEONS, which, being
Right Reasonable, naturally
created an almost Instantaneous
De-Mand!
Then one morning a Swell
Jane from Girls’ High trips
into the Store, and Mrs. Terrell
fitted her with a ”MAO.” And,
by gosh, she couldn’t keep it to
herself. She just had to go and
tell another girl, and she told
Borne one else, nntil it got all
over the dawggoned High abont
these “MACS.”
And Sime had to go and wire
for some more “MACS,” and
> Mrs. Terrell is kept busy waitin’
. on Classy Clarices from the
Girls' High.
It Just don’t seem like a Mere
Man W gotta “Chance” in this
woild any more? Do it?
(NOTE—Take a personal tip
I from me and get your “MAC”
I as soon as possible, for
’twonldn’t surprise me a bit if
these Cells grab ’em all pretty
quick! Gee whix, you know
what happens when they go
after anything! Don’t let on 1
put you wise. Deep Stuff—get
me?)
THE NECKPO’S THAT BET
’EM ALL TALKIN’ DOWN
TO OCILLA—
are none other than those NlfV
Natty Black and Whites, made
famous under the Monicker of
“MAAIXE.” The Stripes of
Black 'gainst the background of
White are Really Effective, as
anyone will tell you. TTieyj
match the Shirts, of course, but
you can wear ’em while the
Shirt is in the wash. Naturally
no one would object to paying
Half-SrBuck for such a Tie!
That being the price!
S is a season of Big Doings and Big
Values in our Boys’ Department.
Bays Boys’ School Norfolks
V** With Two Pairs of Trousers
These suits are in diagonal, cheviots, heather pat
terns or gray mixtures.
Both pairs of trousers lined; coat serge lined.
The popular blade (or box) plaits are included.
Suits that certainly stretch the buying power of a
$6 bill.
Blue, Gray and Brown Chinchilla Reefer Overcoat*,
with Hats to match, in the Rah-Rah style, are a muchly
featured garment for boys. And at tha small prico of
$5.50 for the outfit, seems reasonable enough for any par-
ent to secure one for her boy. And the Corduroy Suits at
$5 are about the most serviceable suit a parent could want
for that boy of hers with the locomotive propensities.
Mackinaws for Boys will be worn this Fall and Winter;
the styles are rich plaids in neat combination*. And real
ty not expensive—-|3.00, $6.00 and $7.60. Boys’ Balma-
caans are taking the place of the Overcoat, as it answers
for both, and they are Oravenetted. The price range is
$6.00, $7.50 and $8.60.
Boys’ Suits, with extra trousers, are $6.00, $6.60, $7.60,
and a great many styles with one pair trousers at $3.00,
$5.00, $7A0, $8.60 and $10.00.
Indian Suits, $1.00, $1.50.
Squaw Suits, $1.00, $1.50.
Police Suits, $1.50.
Fireman Suits, $1.50.
Army Suits, $1.50.
Cowboy Suits, $1.00, $1.50.
Cow-Puncher Suits, $2.50.
Bronco Suits, $1.00.
Cowgirl Suits, $1.50.
Chaps, $2.50 and $3.50. C
PARCEL POST ORDERS FILLED.
Sympathy.
/*kLD GENTLEMAN <«•*« hat fuit hntihed readimo on tonxmt of a gSftk
'*’ wreck uHth loti of patiengtrt and aU handt)—H»! I tna •ortT tot
the poor t&llora that were drowned!
Old Lady—Sailor* 1 It lin’t the tailor*; If* the paatengtrt I aat
«orrv for. The tailor* ar* n*«J to ft.
Good Use for It.
you mean to aay yon are going to bund a Turklih hath la Cilia
ton Gulch?”
Tt*," replied Bronco Bob "A Tnrklth bath It the only place w#
o*o ha-* cord gam* and (eel sure that no gentleman hat any acee
aevewt'ed la bt» aiothea."
CONVERSATION CONCERNING CLASSY
(Notice to Globe Newt Readers—If you think at It
Slme^jtloaso change your mind. Just to give you an Mi
SIME—“Say, Carr, ain't you ever gonna get to
work on that Sunday ad? Suppose you been
runnin’ 'round with the Blonde again, or wrltin’
crazy stuff about Randolph Rose’s Armor Oigars!
Why don’t you try to use what little Brain you
have and tell folks about something worth while?
Why—”
ME—“Listen, Sime, for tha luv of Mlque, be
reasonable. Ain’t I been sittin’ here for an hour
waitin' for you to get thru lellin’ that gay a
“Flts-Hugh,” and a B&lmacaan Hat, and a few
other things? Whaddya want to do, sell ’im the
store?”
SIME—“Well, you don't need to think that
your Crazy Chatter is the thing that sells ’em. If
I wasn’t here with the Goods and the Service and
the Right-Price Stuff, all your Bunk wouldn't be
worth six cents an inch.”
* I know it, Sime. I know It. Doublet's
argue. Have it my way. And say, Sime, wasn't
that a peach of an Ad Thursday, wasn’t that a
“Smash?” That give ’em tho whallop, didn't it7”
SIME—“Whallop, nawthln’. Whaddya mean
puttin’ your face in that Ad for? Think you’re
som' Adonnis or somethin’? And me payin' out
good mun-nunney for your picture.”
ME—“Wen, It was a good picture, wasn’t it?
And say, Sime, I'D put yours in next time, honest
I wilL”
SIME—“Well it would look a dawggoned site
better than yours at that. The only good thing
about your picture was the hat, and that was a
Sphinx.’ ”
ME—“AW, Sims, Be a good fella. Buy a
‘dope’ and Ill buy you one Saturday. And say,
Sime, look at the SweU Outs I got. Ain’t they
pippins? Did yon ever see a better-lookin’rep
resentation of a ‘BALMACAAN’ or a FTTZ-
HUGH7’ ”
SIME—“Well, they ain’t any better lookin’
than the Goat or Suit itself. Why don’t yon teU
I* any tlncb ta wrHe advtrtlvl matter for a fella like
lee read the following dope and tee whet have te put
'em how really good that 'FITE-HUGH’ at FIT
TEEN or that 'BALMACAAN' at FIFTEEN te?”
ME—“I win, Sime, sure I will IU shoot ’em
the Strong Stuff, the Porous Plaster Patter, tha
Bunk, kid, the Bunk!”
SIME—” Whaddya mean, the Porous Plaster
Patter, what crazy chatter te that?”
ME—' ’ Why, Sime, don't you know what Porous
Plaster Chatter is? D’ye mean to sit there and
tell me that a man of twenty years’ sxperlence in
business fails to get the drift of Porous Plaster
Patter. Sime, I’m surprised. Re-a-Ily cur-
prisedl”
SIME—“Never mind being surprised. Nobody
understands your dope anyhow! Bo how should
I? What te Porous Plaster Chatter?”
ME—"Why the kind that ’DRAWS’ the rma-
nunney out of their pockets and into your Uttle
old Cash Register. Get me, Kiddo?”
SIME—“You’re getting worse every mtnnit
lies, If l
For goodness sake, can those Trophies, if yon can,
can't you?”
ME—“Can I can ’em? Sure I can can ’em!**
SIME—“There yon go again. Cut that 'cam-
can’ or you’ll have me doin’ it. Get busy on that
Ad about ’FITZ HUGHS’ and BALMACAANS’
at Fifteen Bucks!”
ME—“Awlright, Awlright, IU write it. IU
tell 'em the Real Dope this time. Got enough of
them to stand a rush?”
SIME—“Sure I got enough. Ain’t I gotta
Factory in Ginncinnatti woikin day and night to
■hip me the Biggest Value in a Fifteen Dollar
Special ever shown in Atlanta?”
ME—“I got yer, Steve, I got yer. Just let me
get my mitts on a typewriter and I’D slip ’em
‘ t. S’lon
the junk, all right.
ong:’
INTERMISSION—While I pound out a cuppla
columns of Classy Chatter describing in Delight
ful Detail the Real Reasons for Investing Fifteen
Bucla in a“FITZ-HUGH’’or a' BALMACAAN."
“Parcel Post Paid.”
THE GLOBE CLOTHING COM PANY—“THE STORE WITH A PERSONALITY "—89 WHITEHALL STREET.
Parcel Post Paid.”