Newspaper Page Text
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BIST HUMOR, MOV1NO
PICTURES, VAUDEVILLE.
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ATLANTA, UA., SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1914.
STORIES
By Jack London, Compton
Mackenzie and Bruno Leasing
PICTURES
By Harrison Fisher, A. B. Wenzell and
Andre Castaigne—All in the New Special
On ce-a-Month Magazine
Presented with to-day's
Sunday American
Watch for it every month.
Business Is Business
By T. E. Powers, the Famous Cartoonist
Copyright, 1914, by t»>« Company. Great Britain Rights flawrvsd
WRITE A LETTER. To OUR
BRANCH OFFICE AT CHtCAQO
"DEAR Q-EORQE
I WILL BE IN CHICAqo IN A
FEW DAYS To TALK OVER
BUSINES5 MATTES VJITHlOU\
yoc/XS — n
Do You MISS ,—S ( HE5 VEftY
GEORCjE 0 f \ NICE
WELL YOUNQ MAN
HOW IS BUS I NESS, i
PICKING*- UP?
■ a r
>
S
Hello Boss You're
Tte VERY MAN I WANT Id
see:
m
mi
Doubt
CAL
Jol
5AY B05S! CAN I
TAKE A RUN DOWN
"To NEW York R)K
\afew day s ? J
/ No!
CERTAINLY NOT
the business
NEEDS YOU
HERE!
QLjOOAA
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p!& OQz
mmm0
7<
OH AMSS PEACH BLOW
WILL YOU TAKE A
^TELEQRVa ?
/^CALLTHE
stenographer
I WI5HTO SEND
ATELEQRAM
'GEORQE I HAVE CHANGED
/AT MIND You MAY BEAT IT,
for new York at once
DOUBT
I JUST SENT A
telegram To George
To STAY IN NEW York
AND look AFTER THE
MAIN OFFICE-the
BU5INES5 15 soqooo
HERE IN CHICAGO I TH/NK
I'LL STAY A MONTH,'
|5T
ITHINK CHICAGO
IS A GREAT
BUSINESS CITY
Fos-1-TiVEi.Y!
,&'■ . .
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JoV
Conroy and Lemaire in “Beans”
G EORGE—Now the next time 1 take you on a street car with me I
don’t want to see you hanging on a lady’s ear f or a strap.
FRANK—Oh. was dat a ear? Ah Jos’ reached up an’ grabbed
sump’m dat felt lak leather, an’ hung. Ah saw no lady.
GEORGE—It’s lucky the car ahead was behind and the car behind
ahead, elBe we wouldn’t hare had a good excuse to Jump off, and the lady
would have had you Incarcerated.
FRANK—Jes’ say all at again, piece by piece, befo’ you assemble*
tt. What ’bout behind?
GEORGE—The car ahead was behind and the car behind ahead.
FRANK—Left the conductor behind?
GEORGE—Now, listen. If the car ahead was behind the car behind
the car ahead, then the car behind the car ahead was ahead of the car
behind. But the car behind the car behind waa ahead of the car behind,
so the car ahead of the car behind was behind Instead of ahead.
FRANK—Oh-h! Dat’s dlff’runt
GEORGE—If you weren’t such a punk pinochle player you might
Agger better.
FRANK—Who say Ah’s a punk pinochle playah? 'Who, nlggah, who?
When Ah plays a ten o’ spades, an’ you throws away a ace
GEORGE—No use t* argyu. Stop arguyun. George Wash’ton never
argyud.
FRANK—Who’s Jawge Washln’? He nevah played no pinochle wlf me
GEORGE—Why, George was the discoverer of our country.
FRANK—He was? Well, dawgone! Ah thought Abe Lincoln done dat,
GEORGE--No, no-o. Lincoln is the penny manufacturer.
FRANK—Den where do Napoleon come In?
GEORGE—Oh, you're thinking of Nick Carter, the great Tocabullat. I
FRANK—Taxlcabblst? What dat word?
GEORGE—Why, It means just the same as osteopathy.
FRANK—Tea, Ah knowed ’at But what’s the destination of 'at
cabbist word?
GEORGE—It consists largely of memorabilia syllablca.
FRANK—Uh-huh! Daes what Ah thought it meant
GEORGE—Now that I’ve made myself perfectly elucidatory, what
more may I do for you?
FRANK—Ah don’t know whatcha may do, but yuh bettah give me
dem two bits yuh or7es me.
GEORGE—That’s not necessary I’m taking you home with me now,
and will give you a wonderful dinner. W T e have excellent beans to-day.
FRANK—Beans? Ah bet Ah et ev’y bean dat growed dls year.
GEORGE—My dear numskull, beans don’t grow! .
FRANK—Oo-ol Where do dey gettum fm, nlggah? | -aJW
GEORGE]—From the bean mines In Bermuda.
FRANK—Well, lan'muaay, Ah always thought dey growed.
GEORGE—No! They dig ’em out of the mines, same as herring.
You knew about the herring mines, didn’t you?
FRANK—Yes, Ah knowed herrings was mined. But Ah was sure
beans growed.
GEORGE]—Yer dead wrong. You're thinking of moth-balls,
FRANK—'Yes, 'at muata been what Ah seen.
The Great Darkface Comics
at the Keith Theatres
Copyright, 1914, by lb# 8t*r Company. Otvat Britain Rl*ht« RaaoroodL
GEORGE!—Why, In some of those gigantic open-air mines In Ber
muda they cut out beans weighing eight and nine ton!
FRANK—Well, did you evah hcah of a miner glttln' killed by a bean
failin’ on him?
GEIORGE—Most sarcastically.
FRANK—Ah don’t see how they get apples enough to make vinegar
for even one bean.
GEORGE—Vinegar doesn’t come from apples! They get It from th*
Vinegar River In Chill, where the chllly-bllly-beans come from.
FRANK—Must be a awful strong river.
GEORGE]—It la. The stream flows up. That’a what makes la so
atrong, especially when It travels eaBt.
FRANK—An’ do they catch pickles In dat Vlnega Rlwa?
GEORGE—No-o! Pickles aren’t wild. They're manufactured from a
composition. Why, it took a man over sixty-five years to learn how to
Introduce warts onto pickles.
FRANK—He oughta be re-warted.
GEORGE!—Now, out In Lima, Ohio, the other day
FRANK—Oh-ho-ho?
GEORGE—I said OHIO.
FRANK—Well, howja spell It?
GEORGE!—O, h. and a ten.
FRANK—Dat word’s a composition, too, ain’t it?
GEORGE—Out there they have Lima beans weighing ninety tool
FRANK—Man. dat am some bean! How dey get ’em out?
GEORGE—Blast 'em out with a stick o’ ketchupl
VJ
THIS IS CONDON'S IDEA OP CARL!
CARL is the White-coated Individual who Pre
sides Behind the Counter at “Sine” Jacobs’ Store
over on Whitehall, at Alabama.
Carl is the Chap who made“TheBreakfast”Fa-
mous in our Town. He is the Original Grouch-
killer. He Discovered The Merry Mocha, with the
Chastised Cream surmounting, The Flaky Hot
Rolls, The Real Country Butter and Grandma’s
Strawberry Jam.
“THE BREAKFAST” THAT MADE A
DIME FAMOUS! That brings ’em Miles and
Miles every Morning. That sends ’em out with
Joy on their Map!
No wonder Carl is the Happy Guy—Just see
what he sees from his Side of the Counter.
Wouldn’t a Bevy of Beauties like that make any
Gink happy? Wouldn’t it?
CARL is the Clever Dispenser that Set Three-
thirty every Afternoon as the Time for Ghocolate-
Egg-and-Malted-Milk, “THE DRINK” that is
making Everybody Healthy and Happy. The
Glasses are Chilled and Coated with Chastised
Cream. The Chocolate, the Egg and the Malted
Milk are poured into it! U-u-mmml
VI
* V
JACOBS’ PHARMACY NUMBER ONE
Whitehall at Alabama