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| THE GODDESS I
I he Serial Beautiful ® b v gouverneur morris and Charles goddard
By Gouvemeur Morris
and
Charles W. Goddard.
(Capyrlfht, ISIS. bv Star roavoan? 1
I T had leaked out that the angel
from heaven, recently found In
the Adirondack*, would reach
New York on a certain train, and the
entrances to the Grand Central Sta
tion were thronged with Idlers on the
lookout for a sensation I don’t know
I what they expected to tee—some sort
! Of a Carry Nation, perhaps, at whom
I they would Jeep—certainly not Celes-
tla
Very few persons In the crowd real,
ly saw her—but from these as she
passed swiftly with Professor StlJli-
ter to a waiting taxicab arose no Jeers
and lnsulta, but only a low, humming
murmur of wonder and admiration.
She walked like someone In a
I trance, looking neither to the right nor
to the left, but her lovely face had
I *oeh an expression of serenity and
rfceaee and she was so touchingly
[ young that the worst scoffers felt their
hearts soften and go out to her.
Her white dress, falling in un-
I broken lines from her shoulders; the
Jeweled band low across her forehead,
would, at the time and place, make
| almost any other wearer ridiculous
But Celeatla’s face wa.s so com-
I mandlngly good and beautiful that
only women and reporters noticed
her clothes at all. And only those of
them who were In the foremost fringe
of the crowd saw that, except for thin
[•andals, her small, high-arched feet
I were bare.
Another crowd not so large saw her
I leave the taxicab and enter Bellevue
I Hospital. Prom these there went up
short, sharp murmur of pity. “Of
I course, she's mad, poor thing.” these
thought, “or else they are going to
| nvike out that she Is, and that's worse
Ind did anybody ever see such hair
fand eyes and such a carriage of the
head, or any dress so white, or any-
| one that moved with so much grace?”
Professor Stilliter, who was well
[ known to the Bellevue authorities,
though he remained a spectator of all
the tests to which her mental powers
were subjected, refused to give his
own conclusion as to her sanity.
"I've been with her a good many
hours on end,” he said, "and, of course.
I've formed an opinion, but I refuse
to interfere In any way with your ex
periments and deductions.”
At first they all thought sh^ was
mad They couldn't help It. She told
them that she came from heaven and
had come to save the world. And she
told them these things with such slm.
pllclty and dignity that It was obvious
to the most cynical that she at least
believed what she said. “It was like a
mother,” said one of the young doctors
afterward, “telling her children Bible
stories.”
Cross-questioning could neither
shaM her narrative In detail nor de
gree, and as her mind continued to
respond quickly and patiently to one
test after another they became more
and more puzzled. Instead of being
able to prove that /he was defective.
It began to dawn on them, after hours
of experiment and observation, that
she was the opposite, not only men
tally but phs'slcally.
At last Professor Stilliter took the
head doctor aside
"You haven’t even a pretext for de
taining her, have you?” he asked.
“Not one,” said the doctor. "She’s
as sane r© you or I, according to all
the tests, and yet she can’t be. What’s
to become of her?”
"Why, as long as I discovered her,”
said Professor Stilliter, ”1 feel that I
must at least look after her until I
discover who her people are. So, if
you’ll keep her here for an hour I’ll
send for her.”
The doctor followed Professor
Stilliter into the waiting room. This
was empty but for a gentleman In a
far corner, whose face u'as concealed
by a newspaper. At the outer door of
the waiting room Professor Stilliter
shook hands with the doctor.
"It’s been wonderfully interesting
hasn't It?” he said. *TT1 let you know
how she gets on. Meanwhile thanks
for all the trouble you have taken.
And I’ll send for her In about an
hour.”
The door closed behind him and
the doctor turned to retrace his steps
to the observation room.
Just then the gentleman In the cor
ner rose to his feet, laid aside his
newspaper and disclosed the bronzed
face of Tommy Barclay.
“I’d like to speak to you for a mo
ment, if you don't mind,” he eald.
(To Be Continued.)
(See ”The Goddess” In motion pic
ture at Alamo No. 2 theater on Tues
days.)
Gouverneur Morris, one of the authors of “The Goddess.’’
Zoe~The Story of
Hopeless Love
Hints for the
Household
il <« vr.|tht. Associated Newspaper*. Ltd. Se
ll r (bu to l. R. A. teld by luternatloual Newe
[ *»r«ie.)
(By CORALIE STANTON and
HEATH HOSKEN.)
“As yo uwill.” he retorted, this time
|With some show of resentment and
firr tatlon. “I really can not argue
with you. You are the wife of another
|man I—I am, to all Intents and pur-
I poses, the husband of another woman.
Kllaase do not refer to that again.
|Come, com^, do be sensible!”
The woman stared at him fixedly
| for the space of about five seconds,
|and then nervously took out her hand-
| kerchief and dabbed It on her lips,
taeemingly to bite it. The man watch -
I ed her unsuspiciously.
A peculiarly lurid flash of lightning
jjttiumtnated the room, blinding them
l for a moment; then a crash of thun-
g4ar, like heavy artillery at close range.
lie woman gave a little cry. Her
[ handkerchief dropped from her hand.
It had hidden something else, but
• the man did not know then.
She held out her hands, and stag
gered toward him Her eyes were
f starting from their sockets. She look
ed weird and terrible.
K; ,*‘Oh!” she shrieked. "1—I did not
know it would be like this. Oh, oh. m\
|0cd! Noel, .Noel, save me! I—oh,
what have I done?”
I The man. white as death, caught
her in his arms, fear in his hc*art.
K' “Whit Is It?" he gasped.
I 6he lifted her terrible face to his
( he smiled. That smile of hers haunt-
«d him to his dying day.
W' : "Kiss me, Noel,” she choked "Kiss
Ms—for—the last—time! Oh! 1 loved
I’OU so—I loved you so!”
t lordly knowing what he did. he
Hk •<! her, then started back with a
Hp;p cry. ter he held a dead woman
arms
mighty peai of thunder died
Jo tli distance in low, growing
t.r—iike the laughter of fiends.
r
L : ; <. d). HEY BROOKE did not en-
Igj joy his dinner or his company.
it r-rm a more or less busi
ness meal, and Just then Brooke was
tint feeling at all in a business frame
s* mind, ar In all probability his host
[ and his host's friends discovered, to
(Lir dismay, long before the etage of
fee. liquors and cigars.
!♦ was a dinner of four men at the
Pior Regtnt Club—four men whose
names were world-know'n, whose
combined power and combined wealth
might easily be construed Into a na
tional menace. The ostensible reason
of the convivial gathering wag the
friendly discussion, without prejudice,
of certain matters in dilute in con
nection with a great rubber company
in course of formation.
Three men, millionaires all and
giants of finance, were standing out,
or trying to stand out, against cer
tain demands of Sir Godfrey Brooke,
the new K.C.M.G., and the conces
sionaire of the vast forest lands In
Central Africa. The actual reason
was probably known only to Lord
Lemonvale, though guessed at by his
two colleagues, Mr. Hermann and
Mr. Enrico Polita. Lemonvale wanted
Sir Godfrey to talk. "In vino Veri
tas” was his motive.
Brooke was annoyingly reserved
and circumspect; Brooke undoubtedly
had several big things up his sleeve;
Brooke was. moreover, without a
doubt, driving a very hard bargain.
Hermann and Polita, controlling be
tween them money that ran into al
most astronomical figures, had tacit
ly "given Lord lemonvale his head.”
They were in the "deal,” however, as
it turned out; and they bad great
faith in his lordship. Also neither of
them greatly loved Brooke.
As a matter of fact, Brooke’s
thoughts were far away. He was re
gretting the time he was wasting with
men who had nothing in common with
him. lie had no desire to talk busi
ness; he had been doing nothing else
all day, and his one desire was to get
away as soon as he conveniently
could without appearing discourteous
to his host.
He had told his wife that he
would be back at 11, but he fully
meant to be back before that hour,
despite the suggestion of lemonvale
that they should go to the Empire and
of Polita that they should play bridge.
Lemonvale did not altogether de
spair until hey rose from the dinner
table about half-past nine; then he
saw’ that it was no good. Brooke,
w hether intentionally or not. meant to
eschew business topics. He was full
of motor cars, and was expatiating
with boyish delight on his new ma
chine, and telling them of all the run*
he had made this spring in the south
of France. r
Stains on the hands can be easily re
moved by using salt and lemon juice.
Put a little heap of salt in a saucer
and squeeze sufficient lemon Juice into
it to moisten it. Hub this on the stain
until it disappears, then rinse the hands
in clean warm water.
at the funeral, so I actually believed
myself face to face with a ghost.
" 'Colonel.’ the ghost said in his calm,
even voice, ’permit me to report that the
sentry outside your door threw down his
gun and ran away at the sight of me.’
” 'A very serious offense on his part, I
admit,’ I said. But quite excusable on
the part of a poor devil who suddenly
finds himself looking Into the face of a
man he shot and burled this morning.'
’’Birkai stared at me a few moments,
as If he believed that I had suddenly
gone mad, then he suddenly burst Into
tears.
” 'My brother,’ he sobbed. 'My twin
and exact double of myself, Colonel. I
believed him to be in America, where
he was making piles of money. After
the declaration of war he must have
Deen unable to resist the temptation, for
he loved this dangerous procession and
fate haa made him serve the other side.
It Is quite clear to me now.’
“He cried for a little while yet. then
he wiped his eyes and said in his usual
voice:
" 'Excuse my foolish behavior, Col
onel, but I loved my brother. The mis
fortune which overtook him, however,
has its great advantages to you, and
with your permission I shall to-morrow
make full use of our extraordinary re
semblance to get full Information out of
the masters that he served and who will
take me for him.’
“He has, indeed, done so ever since
and is doing so yet, moving with perfect
freedom on both sides, but remaining
absolutely loyal to us.
“I sent the soldiers who sho his broth
er to another regiment further north,
but in spite of this, all kinds of fantas
tic stories are circulating about the
phantom spy in our trenqhes. There is
even a song which is sure to be sung on
the steppes for years. The words are
not very Interesting, when translated,
but the tune is weird.”
Colonel 8 sat down at the piano
and, accompanying himself, sang a song
so sad, childlike and strange, that none
of us will ever forget It. Then the
rhythm suddenly accelerated, grew joy
ous and triumphant and the legend took
flight into the future and became a song
of victory.
To clean rusty curtain hoops place
them in a bowl and cover with cloudy
ammonia. Leave for half an hour and
then Just stir them round with a stick.
The hooks will look Jlke new.
To wash discolored embroidery, place.
In a vessel with cold water, blued, but
not too deep, and with the juice of a
lemon. Boll for half an hour, and aft
erwards rinse in cold water and dry In
fresh air.
Bread should never be covered with a
cloth when taken from the oven, but
laid on the side and allowed to become
perfectly cold, then kept-in a closely
covered tin box without any wrappings.
(To Be Continued.)
Maintaining Dignity.
A certain milUary officer was
very dignified, and if there was one
thing he detested more than another
it was undignified haste. One day,
Just as he was about to hold a parade
he perceived that he had forgotten
his handkerchief, and he said to his
orderly, “Go to my quarters, quick,
and bring my handkerchief!" The or
derly touched his cap and started for
the quarters, several hundred yards
distant. After he had proceeded a
short distance, remembering that
there was no time to lose, he broke
into a trot. "See that scoundrel run
ning as if the enemy were after him!
If there Is anything I hate it ie to see
a soldier running instead of march
ing proi>erly! Here, my man.” he
added to another soldier, “go after
that man and tell him to walk!” The
second soldier started after the first,
but as the first kept on running the
second one saw that his only chance
to deliver the message was to hurry,
so he too broke into a run. The offi
cer was violently incensed. "Here,
sergeant, go after that man and tell
him if he doesn't stop running I'll
have him put in the guard-room!”
The sergeant set out at a brisk walk,
but. as his predecessor had a good
start. he too, began to run. "If all
the three sooundrels aren’t running
like rabbits'” ejaculated the officer.
Til show them!”—and. tucking his
sword under his arm, he started in
pursuit as fart as he could run, but,
suddenly remembering his jjignity. he
came to a halt and walked back stif
fly to the place w here the parade wa.~
to be held.
T tHEY were talking of the legend of
St. Sophia, of this mysterious im
age of Christ, hidden under a
heavy ecat of plaster, which Is to re
appear miraculously on the wall of tne
basilica as soon as the day approaches
that the Turks are to be driven back
to Asia forever.
Colonel S— . a brilliant Russian of
ficer on a special mission to France, said
In his sofe, pleasant French:
“Yes, a few legends will look as ara
besques around the monument we are
now building. Future poets will have
reason to feel grateful to us. There will
be plenty of legends. I have even been
told recently that I am to figure per
sonally In one ot them.
“Let me go back to the end of July
last. We were all making desperate et-
forts to keep on believing in peace. In
vain. We all knew, or rather felt, that
they wanted war. Just as we felt that we
were surrounded on every side by their
clever spies, whom we could not catch.
This sensation of continually being spied
upon became so strong with me that I
felt it almost as a physical pain. On
the other side it became necessary to
undertake a counter-attack, as there
was certain information we must have
•s soon as possible, tl was a very deli
cate task in those circumstances, and
I could not think of a sing'e person to
whom 1 dared eonlide the task.
“At last one of my officers to whom
I had mentioned the matter said:
" ‘I believe 1 have found the man.'
"He introduced him to me and 1 had
only had a very short talk with him
when I myself became convinced that
he was just the man I wanted. It is
very dtfflcult to give you an idea of his
appearance. All I can say Is that he
was short, rather stout, with a lurid
face, small eyes without any expres
sion, a low forehead and brown, rather
thin, hair, very quietly dressed and in
significant in his manner; one of those
persons you will never notice anywhere.
He was about 40 years old. His name
was Birkai and he was born at Smyrna
of a Syrian mother and a Persian father.
For two years he had practiced as a den
tist at Moscow, but he also sold jew
elry and real pearls to ladies of the
demi-monde, and a good many more
false ones to cheap jewelers.
“ ‘Of course, you have worked be
fore,’ 1 said to Mm
" 'Yes. colnel.' he replied quietly. *1
started in Manchuria, working against
you *
“‘Good: I hope we shall be able to
agree as regards conditions otherwise—’
“ ‘All I have to do is to forget I have
the honor to be received by you. My
local passport, as welt as my foreign
decided
one, is in order, and even if
i to ave. \ ou would discover nothing
I which would cause you to deal vigor-
i ouslv with me
1 “Well, you understand, gentlemen, our
modern wars, too. have their mercena
ries, but nowaadys we make the sol
diers in a certain shadowy army where
the risks are great, and which gives us
a certain repulsive feeling like every
thing else that thrives In darkness. The
Kaiser has the sad privilege of al
ways being unable to find plenty of suit
able individuals among his own sub
jects, while we have to trust to for
eigners without any country and w-hose
services are at the disposal of the high
est bidder. We would never think of
shaking hands with them, and still,
when they perform their task well, we
have a certain confidence in them.
“Well! I decided to engage Birkai
for the duration of the war. He w r as
expensive; very expensive, in fact, but
as I have said, he impressed me as
being the very man 1 wanted, and the
same evening he started on his duties
after receiving a handsome amount in
advance. The valuable services he ren
dered us during the mobilization and la
ter in Galicia—well, you will under
stand that the time has hardly come
yet to mention these things aloud, and
besides, they have no connection with
my story.
"This went on for more than four
months, during which I more than once
had reason to congratulate myself that
I had secured the services of Birkai.
Then unfortunately something hapj>ened
which caused me to alter my opinion.
Several strange and alarming events
took place. Time and again artillery
fire obliged us to change the position
of our batteries very quickly from places
where we nad reason to think they were
impossible to discover.
one day Birkai, who had been or
dered by me to reconnolter a small vil
lage in front of us. was seen by three
of my officers In a village in our rear
and from that moment we had him
shadowed. Three days later we found
him comfortably seated in the cellar of
an empty house telephoning instructions
to the enemy in fluent German.
“He did not deny anything. When I
asked him if he had anything to say in
his defense, he replied in a firm voice
that he did not wish to say anything.
He died bravely, as indeed 1 had always
expected he would.
“Now the same night, when I was at
work alone in my room. Birkai sudden
ly appeared in the doorway noiselessly
and unannounced, as he had the priv
ilege of doing by rry permission. It w-#s
midnight and to add to the effect a gust
of wind through the open door blew out
my lamp, but a ray of the full moon
still illuminated the room Perhaps
some of you would have said to your
selves: "Parbleu, here is a fellow who
appears to have as many lives as a cat.'
But ! did no such thing. I had myself
seen the man drop dead, pierced by half
a score of bullets, and had bean
He Admired Him.
The story is told of the manager of
one of the big railways in the United
States who made a tour of inspection
of the stations on his line. The time
of his coming being pretty well known,
he found every station a veritable
hive of industry, everybody connected
with it working like mad. There was
one exception. At one station he
found the station master in his best
clothes, sitting in front of a bright
fire, smoking a cigar and reading the
newspapers. Everybody else about
the station was working hard, bqt
there was an air of peaceful repose
about the station master which
seemed to indicate that he, person
ally, never did any work.
“Are you going to sack him?” wnis_
pered one of the men who accompa
nied the manager.
"Sack him?” exclaimed the mj.--
ager. "Certainly not.” v
"But why not?” asked the other, in
surprise. "He’s just sitting there and
getting others to do his work.”
"My friend." said the great man
ager, Impressively, "the man who can
persuade somebody to do his work
while he himself sits idle—well, he's
the man for my money!”
They Had Their Doubts.
The gray-bearded tourist sat in the
hotel bar talking to the villagers. He
told them of the wonders he had seen
in his travels, of his adventures, and
of the fortune he had made.
“And, to crown it all.” he added, “I
am a native of this place. I left the
village w-hen I was a lad, but I still re
member a lot of faces. You are Willie
Slocum.” he said to one bald old chap,
“and your name is Mudde,” he pointed
to another.
The villagers stared at him In sus
picion.
“Don’t any of you remember me?” he
pleaded. ‘My name is George—George—”
He paused invitingly, and & voice
broke the silence.
“Well, judging from what you’ve been
telling us.” It said, “your name ain’t
George Washington!”
Not Dead Yet
The first bather of the season had
got into difficulties. With a loud cry
he suddenly threw- up his hands and
sank.
A stalwart boatman on the beach
ran into the waves and, striking out
strongly, managed to bring him
ashore.
At once a sympathetic crowd gath
ered round and various wise people
gave the usual silly advice.
“Run for some brandy,” said a voice.
Then, as a pocket flask was pro
duced. willing; hands grasped it and
held it to the sufferer's blue lips.
But a feeble arm pushed it away,
and a shaking voice said:
"Roll me on a barrel first and get
out some of the sea water or it will
spoil the taste of the brandy!”
THE GODDESS—the Serial Beautiful-
written by two famous authors and presented
by the Hearst ..newspapers in collaboration
with the renowned Vitagraph Players under
the direction of Mr. Ralph luce.
+•+ +•+ +•+ *•+ +•+, +#+
Miss Anita Stewart as the Goddess.
+•+ +•+ +•+ +•+ +•+ +•+
Mr. Earl Williams as Tommy Barclay.
^.,4. -j.« + +•+ +•+ +•+ +•+
Be sure to read each installment careful
ly, and then see the characters and the thrill-
ings incidents spring to life,in the motion pic
tures.
The Turk’s equivalent of our hand
shake greeting is to cross his hands on
his breast ana make an obeisance.
Garlic, salt, bread and steak are put
into the cradle of a new-born child in
Holland.
Ruskin said that in all the works of
Shakespeare he had no heroes, but only
heroines.
A favorite motto for old-time posy
rings was: “My heart is thine, true love
of mine.”
In Scotland it is said that to rock the
empty cradle will insure another occu
pant.
In illness two pillows are much better
on a bed than a. bolster and a pillow.
An infant does not hear until the third
or fourth day after birth.
Vinegar comes from the French ”vin
aigre”—sour wine.
During the war with the Turks in
1807, Sir John Duckworth succeeded in
getting to Constantinople despite the
fact that his wooden vessels were as
sailed by the Turks with stone cannon
balls so great that two men were re
quired to roll one of them up a plank.
The Dardanelles are about 33 miles
long. In places they are some four or
five miles across, but In one place, the
Narrows, they are only 1.300 yards. The
average width is about three miles.
One inch of rain equals 101 tons to
the acre.
In New Caledonia heads of Intents are
squeezed Into different shapes, the faces
of boys being lengthened, to look like
warriors and the girls’ faces made oval
by pressing up the chin.
No matter how old a Cossack Is be
belongs (o the reserve forces of the
"National Defense” In Russia, and, If
required, accompanies his sons and
grandsons to battle.
In the middle of the last century It
was the correct thing to add to the
marriage notice the amount of the for
tune the bride brought to her husband.
Eight companies of cyclists can carry
256,000 rounds of ammunition, as against
72,000 carried by a whole cavalry divi
sion of nearly 2,600 men.
Cooking reduces the digestibility of
meat, raw meat taking two hoars and
cooked meat requiring on an average
four to digest.
Every year the King of Slam sends a
contingent of Siamese scholars to Eng
land. to be educated at his expense.
Nine years ago the Duke of Con
naught was made a Prussian field mar
shal.
Abdul Hamid is an accomplished
painter and furniture maker.
It takes ten hours for a ship to get
through the Panama Canal.
Water is more than four times at
heavy as cork.
Saving the enus at Milo.
During the war of 1870, when the
German army drew near the French
capital, one of the first measures the
Parisians took was to place the art
treasures of the Louvre in safety. The
paintings of Raphael, Titian, Paolo
Veronese, Rembrandt and Rubens
were carefully packed and shipped to
Brest. There they could, if necessary,
have been put on shipboard and taken
from the country.
It was not so easy to save the
pieces of marble statuary, for their
weight and fragility made them dif
ficult to handle; but the French de
termined that the famous Venus of
Milo, at least, should not fall into the
hands of the Prussians. So they took
her down from her pedestal and laid
her in a casket carefully padded and
wrapped. At night the casket was
taken out through a secret door and
hidden secretly in the cellar of the
police prefecture, at the end of a secret
passage.
They walled in the casket and clev
erly gave the wall an appearance of
great age and dilapidation. In front
of this wall thev laid a number of
valuable public documents, so that
if they should happen to be found
their importance would lead the dis
coverers to think there was nothing
else hidden there. In front of the
papers they built another wall. Here
the Venus of Milo remained, much l;o
the distress of those patriotic Par
isians who did not kaow where she
was and supposed that she had been
stolen.
One day the prefecture caught fire
and was nearly destroyed. The dis
tress of those who knew that the
Venus was concealed there can be im
agined. As soon as the fire was ex
tinguished they Hastened to the sink
ing ruins and. after some digging,
found the casket buried in heaps of
dirt and stones, but uninjured.
It is understood that the Venus ha*
gone into hiding again, not to neap-
pear until peace ig restored and Paris
is free from danger of the Invader.
Misplaced Zeal.
She was a young hospital nurse, al
ways cool-headed in a surgical crisis.
He was venerable, tall and dignified,
with flowing patriarchal beard, but un
able to speak ? word of English. En
tering the v«i<.eiving room of the hos
pital, armed with a large and deadly
looking blue bottle labeled “Poison,” he
approached the nurse and gesticulated
violently, pointing alternately to the
bottle and to his chest.
"Ah; blue bottle. Poisonous con
tents. Accidentally swallowed. Emetic
urgent,” was the prompt diagnosis,
quickly followed by a dose of the most
powerful emetic known to mankind.
The treatment proved eminently suc
cessful. but to remove all possible trace
of danger a second very severe dose
was administered. At this point an ear
nest but inarticulate protest was made
by the patient, who apparently thought
that by this time all danger had been
removed
Afer some time the busy house sur
geon found time to inquire.
“Have you filled the old boy’s bottle
for him? Don’t you know? Why, the
bottle for his chest!”
“I-otion! Chest!" gasped the nurse, as
the horrible truth dawned upon her.
"I’vf been treating him for poisoning
lew last half hour!”
Good Intentions.
A good-natured man going home
late at night spied a man leaning
limply against a doorway.
"What's the matter?” he promptly
asked; "drunk?”
"Yes.”
"Want me to help you in?”
"Yes.”
With difficulty he carried the droop
ing figure up to the second floor.
"Is this it? Do you live here?”
“Yes.”
Rather than face an angry wife the
good-natured man opened the first
door, pushed the limp figure In and
closed the door. Then he groped his
way downstairs. As he came out he
saw another man apparently In worse
condition than the first.
"What’s the matter?” he asked;
"you drunk, too?”
“Yes,”, came the feeble reply.
“Shall" I help you upstairs?”
“Yes."
The good Samaritan carried him to
the second floor, where this man also
said he lived, opened the same door
and not without difficulty pushed him
In.
As he again reached the street he
saw a third man, evidently worse off
than either of rhe others. As the good
Samaritan aj. roached. however, the
man fled up the street with all the
haste he could command, and threw
himself into the arms of a passing
policeman.
“Off’sh^-, he gasped; ‘T deman’
p’teetion from thiah man. He’s car
ried me upsthairs twlce’n thrown ms
down the elevator.
A Cura for Drink.
' Grogan," said the bead of a large
drapery establishment, eyeing him
sharply, “you've stopped drinking,
haven't you?"
“Yes-- - . swered the red-headed
Hibernian w • worked in the packing
department “1 haven’t taken a dhrink
av anny thing sti.ronger th'n tay fr three
mcr ths."
“I am glad to hear It, Grogan. But
how did you break yourself of the
habit?”
“Be hittin’ me thumb nail wld a
hammer whin I was packin’ a box of
goods.”
”1 don't see b- w that could cure you.”
“Well, Misth-.r Barker, it was this
way If I’d been sober, o’ye r uoind. I’d
nlver have done it, but I wasn’t. Whin
I whacked mo thumb instead of the
nail I was thrryin’ to dhrive it made
a black spot at the root av me t u timb
nail. I says to mesilf, 'Grogan, I’ll
punish ye f’r that. Ye sha’nt have a
dhrink av ayther beer ’r w-husky until
that black spot has gone.'
“Well. sor. it was two months be
fore it had growed out to the end o’
me thumb, an' I cud cut it off, an' be
that time I'd lust all me appetite fr
beer an’ whusky.
“Thin I say? to mesilf, 'Grogan. I’ll
reward ye f’r that. Ye're a sober man
row. an’ ve'll stay sober.’ That's the
whole story. scr. M
To the Front.
An ambitious young author sent some
of his work to an editor, inclosing the
following note:
“If you think my ability to write is
useless, please say so. I have other
irons in the fire to which I can devote
my energies.”
The editor returned the MS. with the
brief reply:
"Dear Sir—I should advise you to put
this with your other iroiQ*«*