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■M BEST humor, moving
PICTURES, VAUDEVILLE.
ATLANTA, GA., SUNDAY, MAY 30, 1915.
BUSINESS
MYSTERIES
Arp solved by Edward Mott "Woolley in the Fiction
Magazine. Free with the first isaue of The Sunday
American every month. Salesmen and executives get
valuable information from these articles.
WATCH FOR JUNE NUMBER
Our Bureau of
Misinformation
By T. E. Powers, the Famous Cartoonist
Copyright, 191B, by tb« Star Company. Groat Britain Rights BaMr^ad.
Sir Taking advantage of your offer to answer any question, I want
to know whether the Allien will win, or whether the Germans will win
Or whether It will be a draw. I. M. Q. REEUS.
Yea—Ed.
Mr. Editor—Upon entering a swell restaurant le It proper to let the
lady precede you, or should you lead her In? ANXIOUS.
You don’t have to lead 'em. They will drao YOU In.—Ed.
LAMB5
QE7TINC,
READY For
'THE
(tAM bol
Dear Question Editor—Several of the things I planted In my garden
are coming up and thriving. When I tell about it, people won’t believe
me: when I show them, they ask who the professional gardener was 1
hired. Now, I am an amateur and the garden truck Is really growing
beautifully, but what shall I do? BILL JONES.
Quit dreaming and wake up.—Ed.
SPRINCr
Mr Jones in?)
\ Yes dear. This is me A
|M VERY Busy-VtoKTBE Howe
Ito ATTENDIHq A DIRECTORS
MEETIMq
Indeed : ^
I SEE You HAVE
A FULL HOUSE
Sir—1 have got a lot of money.
Don’t invent it, keep It !
get a lot of money.—Ed.
’• How ehall I invest It? I. GOTROX-
But for the love of Pete tell ME how to
Mr. Question Editor—In crochettlng a Siamese lambrequin, should 1
loop two, draw one, chain four and loop two again, or Is It best to loop
three and then two alternately between chains, and If so, would you
advise a French knot between each chain? MISS PRIMM.
For a Slameee lambrequin, why not uce Juet a plain, ordinary
’’twin" atiteh? However, 1 advise you to tend this query to one eure
place where it will be anewered—Matteawan. 1 like the "draw one”
WB PICTURE
IN THE PHONE
joffis (XrroFToWH)
/ WONT VkHTURt
OUT To DAY
Sir Who was John Smith? Bet you a wrist watch you cannot
answer this. . a. KIDDER.
We admit we have been suepected of murder and convicted of steal
ing milk from a near-sighted Infant, but your bet Is an insult. Just to
prove that you are extremely dull we will answer your question: H«
was a ton of Old Man Smith.—Ed.
WHITE FOXES
Dear Mr. Question Man—Please tell me what to do for my freckles?
They are large and dark and numerous. . LILLIAN MUSCLE.
According to your description they are doing fine, thank you, and
you need not do anything more for them.—Ed.
;5ciFo o n & -a
ClEAHIH^ UP AFTER RooM.vEUT THial
V
A/EVf'foRK
dry
Frost, /w P£WVBFL-Tec Cold To V-Tb
NBlVflAAjPS/ilRE
HOTEL
Question Editor—Why do women want to vote?
MRS. N. QTTIRER.
‘‘Because." We defy you to find a more truly feminine an
swer.—Ed.
soon we may see the person
^VEARe TALK Hsiq To OVER
—PHONE —.—
•STATIC
HouiE
ASPHYx/^
Tombs
"Ml,
Dear Sir—Can you tell me how far It la to Tipperary?
JESS TERR.
You bet we can. It all dependa on where you are.—Ed.
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HIUSIC
Question Editor, Misinformation Bureau When your automobile N
a punctured tire, a clogged carburetter, a leaky gasoline tank, a broken
driving shaft, a broken steering gear, a twisted piston and a broken
spring, what would you do? NOVICE.
Walk.—Ed.
Question Man—Please tell me how to keep mosquitoes out of the
house? EAST ORANGE, N. J.
All through December, January and part of February I waa quite
successful. In the Summer you might put up a “No Treapaea” sign,
or you might move the house three miles out to sea and sink It. Ed.
If : C7<JlXc3
//AftRyiVAYt Movzs ACfAIH
She HAS ho REClARP e&p /HTERRAVonAH/Ayv
Mr. Misinformation Expert—It Is nearly vacation time
please advise me the best place to go for a good rest?
Bed.—Ed.
LAUGHS IN THE NEWS
Dear Sir—Won't you please tell me the difference between Love and
Matrimony? GUSSIE M’GIGGLE.
We are neutral and refuse to discuss any war problem.—Ed.
Copyright, 191B, by th* Star Company. Great Britain Right* Reserved.
“Divorce Ends Romance”—according to a small heading over a
smaller news item.
Does It? It generally starts a romance.
A CERTAIN young Omaha woman had a man arrested because he
threw her Into a bathtub full of water with her clothe* ont
Every one to their own opinion, but we hold that the young
man was quite modest about It.
County Judge Scully, of Chicago, says that women must tell their age.
In the bright lexicon of female vital statistics there's no such word
as “must.”
Editor—Why are women wearing furs this Summer?
HER HUSBAND.
Oh, It Is a sort of skin game started by the furriers.—Ed.
A Michigan City woman was washing clothes when she received a
telegram announcing that she had been left half a million dollars. She
kept right on and finished the washing, hung out the elothea, took them
In and ironed them, got supper for five and went to bed.
If it had been a man, what would have happened?
One dark streak of coat-tails as Mr. Man beat It to the Dutchman’s.
That's wnat.
Another headline writer heads s so-called romance as follows;
“United by Chance.”
Sure, it's all change. ,
They've discovered a gas man with a Jimmy In New York.
Our gas man does better with a bill.
Dear Sir—Is there any reason why a woman should not wear those
new and very short skirts? MISS D. STILE.
Yes, indeed. There are many women who have two reasons.—Ed.
A Stroudsburg (Pa.) paetor died the other day aged elghty-two
had married 1,064 couples.
However, If he repented, all is well with him now.
Another of the celebrated ex-outlaw James boys has Just died, aged
about four-score.
If he had been a good boy he might have lived to a good old age
NOTICE—If you have any questions about anything, send them
to the “Misinformation Editor, City Life Section.” Regular depart
ments will be established, covering Matrimony and Indigestion, Love
end Humor, Gardening and Etiquette. Automobile* and Chafing Dish
dishes and, in fact, everything and every subject imaginable, and then
gome other*.—Ed
the Government of Cuba Is being charged with millions of
Harry A. Wheeler, a Chicago man. want* peace postage stamps de
signed to stop the war in Europe.
t wouldn't work, Harry, someone would be all the time licking the
ftarn pa,
now
dollars in graft.
vr, one had any doubt but what modern civilization would ere*>
Into Cuba In tima.
A Bronx girl yawned the other day. and now she Is unable to close
her mouth
Making her look Just like a married woman. ~