Newspaper Page Text
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And Then confess ~7o her
That he was a qhanp oohe
Saved Money.
B ILL—Were you at the
hibltion meeting?
Jill—Yes; I was.
“What in the world do you want
to listen to those fellows for?"
“It’s cheaper."
"Cheaper ?”
"Why, yes; their statements
didn't cost me anything, and they
made me stagger."
Delicate.
A LONZO—I say, ol’ chap, I Just
dwopped in to see if you would
go for a spin on the boulevard
with me.
Adolphus—Can't, deah boy. I’m
deucedly afwaid of going into the
air so soon after being manicured,
doncherknow, *
Every Deg
Has His
Day—
THE MORNING SMILE
WEX JONES Editor
—And the
Cats Have a
Cabaret.
VOL. V.
Atlanta, Ga., Sunday, .June 13, 1015.
NO. 35.
Smile's Ingenious
Inventions
Perfect, Plan for Prevent
ing Painful Pranks of
Probing Pest.
New Device Indispensable In
Every Suburban Home —»
Child Can Operate It—Pun
for the Family
O CR insane asylums are
full of men drives ersay
by mosqnltoee
But there need be no otbera.
The Smtle'e Sudden Stepper
has changed all that.
A glance at the acoomranytng
sketch, drawn from the machine
In our office, will help you to
understand the value of the de-
fice which our experts give to
the public.
The Smile's Sudden Slapper is
equipped with six hands made of
extra heavy leather. There la
ohe hand for each leg. one for
each arm. one for the back of
the neck and one for the face.
Any one of theee hands will de
liver a lightning wallop the
moment you press the accelera
tor with your feet. The hands
may also be worked by buttons
behind the chair In which the
owner aits /
In addition to being sudden
death to any mosquito it lands on
with one of It* mitts, the 8 8 8
is a great plaything for the chil
dren.
■lust aa daddy la turning over
the page* of "The Little Lady of
the Big House” baby presses the
button and a heavy leather mitt
whangs popper on the back of
the neck. Even darling mommer
Isn't able to restrain a giggle,
->abv coos and gurgles un-
^'•''stned''
Better reserve your Smile's
Euddse Slapper by telegraph.
The Smile’s Sudden Slapper.
Timelock Foams, the Great Detective
The Unsolved Mystery
our
dig-
two
and
I T was breakfast time in
mbdest Faker street
gings. and Mrs Muggins had
Just placed a steaming hot dish
of ham and egg» on the table.
I am not so keen of observa
tion aa Foama, of course, but I
observed that there were
pieces of ham on the diah
bedide the ham were three fried
eggs.
Foama entered the breakfast
room. He wore a dressing gown
and carried his violin.
"Ah, Potaon,” said the great
detective. "I observe that the ex
cellent Mrs Muggins has brought
our breakfast."
"I obserre^l the same thing,”
said I, a trifle peevishly,
haps, for_I was very hungry
"Splendid, my dear Potaon,
splendid. You're really improv
ing So you observed that break
fast was on the table. You'll
quite put my poor powers of ob
servation in the shade, Potaon.
if you keep up this pace."
Foama seated himself at the
per-
of the Third Egg.
table, but Just aa I was taking a
chair the great detective leaned
toward the wtndow. "Quick, Pot-
aon, what do you make of that
fellow ?"
I walked to the window and
looked out. The street was ap
parently deserted.
"I see nobody," said I.
“Look closely. Potaon. Use
your eyes; exercise the cold
molasses you are pleased to call
your brains.”
“I can't see anybody," I re
peated
Mv dear Potaon," responded
Foama. "you say you nan’t see
anybody, yet a moment ago you
said you could see nobody.
Which la It?"
"I—or—I—er"
“Come on. Potaon. Come and
get your breakfast.”
1 eat down and found a piece
of ham and an egg on my plate.
There was a piece of ham and an
egg on Foams'a plate
Where had the third «,*. *uuel
In the Smile's
Letter Box
From a New South Whaler.
T O THE EDITOR—I recently
arrived in New York from
New South Wales, and
am frank td confess your Cus
toms in Broadway restaurants
puzal# me. Therefore, will you
kindly answer the following
questions In political gastron
omy:
Could a vegetarian eat horse
radish without losing his title?
1* American spaghetti grown
or manufactured?
What Is the meaning of "Hors
d'Ouvres" on a bill of fare? How
do you pronounce It and how do
you eat It?
Is the last syllable of “caraam-
bert" pronounced—"bear" or
"bert"? Or is the full name
"Camemherbert”T
After a gentleman has dined in
a restaurant with a lady, is It
considered bad form for him to
commit a breach of neutrality If
the bill Is bigger than the bill
of fare?
Where do anchovies come from
since war was declared?
Is a lobster an amphibious
crustacean? Elsewlse how does
It manage to live so long on Ice—
and In other atmospheres?
Hungrily yours,
RALPH THE ROVER,
CONCERNING BOSSY.
T O THE EDITOR—Dear Ed,
I haven't seen a copy of
your paper In some time,
and was afraid you was sick. If
you happen to print another
copy any time, please answer
this question for me. There (a
several folks here that want to
know, too.
Why does a person always
milk a cow on the same side?
We all thank you Yours as
B 4, Chocowln 1 '- re •
*- el- A. .WIT,
This Is June
“Ta Turn Te-Tum !”
Copyright. 1915, by the Star Company- Great Britain Rights Reserved
By L. A.
A H HA! This is the merry month, the merry month of June, when
Cupid leads on bridal paths and Hymen pipes a tune. Behold die!
wond rous, wond'rous ways a man has with a maid, they march j
adown the ribboned aisle and neither is afraid. She says, “I do”; he
says, “I will"—that ancient wedding stunt, and neither dreams the day will
come they'll say, "I don't! “I won't!” But what’s the use of worrying?
’ I will always be the same, and ev'ry June will tee them rush into the wed
ding game.
For we may come and we may go, and wedding bonds may sever,
but just the same that wedding game keeps going on forever, So hum away
at Medelssohn as they prance down the aisle, and only the old married
folks know why it is we smile. Yes. June is such a merry month, when all
the birdies mate, and only we old rounders know the rhyme with that is
“Hate!" So here's to every bride and groom, may life be one sweet tong.
Down in our hearts we know, alas! the singing won’t last long.
\rar turn te-tum, tar tum-te turn!" The air is gay indeed, and yet
within the crowded church are scores of hearts that bleed, and icores of
eyes with reddened rim hold back the burning tears, and many a mind goes
gToping back to thoughts of happier yean! But youth is yoyth and life it
life, and love will have its way; this i* no time for idle jests, this is a tima
to pray! Behold, they're marching two by two beneath tha Junetime sunt
who know* how long 'twill be before they're marching one by one?
Our Fashion Nofes
Copyright, 1916. by th® Star Company. Great Britain Rights Reserved.
S STRAIGHT-FRONT corsets, made of rubber, will be worn at the
beaches this Summer. No means have yet been deviesd, however,
to make the* men look straight front when the bathing procession
itarta.
High stocks are being worn In place of collars by women who are fond
of military effects. "War stocks," they call them, and -Bethlehem |Strr!
is the most popular.
A dainty steel parasol is a fine finishing touch for the Summer cos
tume. The bill for it la likely to be the finishing touch for hubby’s bank
roll.
A live monkey carried In the arms is a fad that has been Introduce 1
by s New York dancer. If the habit becomes general many men will be
more willing than ever to let the women make monkeys of them.
Long silk gloves with double tips are advertised by a Fifth evenua
store. Theae are expected to be especially popular with waitresses.
On the avenue and on the boardwalk spate are very much In favor.
At home, however, they are ltlll aa unpleasant as ever.
The heels of the new ehoes are higher than ever before. The prices
are even higher than the heels.
Blouses, skirts and even hate are now made In transparent styles.
In spite of this, however, women are no easier to see through in the past.
Little Stories of the Bi^ War
rop.TTtght. l&lft. by th* SUr Oompany
Or*at Right* RmftvhI
M AASHOOT, Holland, May
20. — The Germans are
preparing to make a sur
prising rush across northern Bel
gium despite the flooded trenches.
I have It on highest authority that
a Yankee genius hat been bribed
to aid the Germane and he has
told them that all they need to do
Is to held up the end of the
trenches and let the water run out
No one ever thought of II before.
BERLIN, May 19.—A fleet ef
powerful Zeppelins flew over
Southend Westend and Mlddleend
last night, hurling limburger
cheese upon the frightened popu
lace. Tha Inhabltanta of theee
eitlea were choked to death.
LONDON, May 19.—Brttlah war-
ahlpa bombarded tha harbor elty of
Kiel with English Jokes, but be-
oause of the fact that tha jekea
had no points, little damage was
done.
PETROGRAD, May 19.—A Rue-
elan caviar hurled upen the Auetro-
Teuton forces annihilated a couple
ef acres of men. But the Germane
rallied and slaughtered three miles
ef the enemy. The caviar acted
ae a tonic.
The Russians believe now It wn
Teutonia,
From
Angel
PARIS, May 20.—Another Ger
man spy has been executed. For a
long time some one had been In
tercepting wireless messages on
the border, and the closest search
failed to find the spy until the
other day a man disguised ae an
Englishman was watched.
He had a dog with him and was
seen placing the dog carefully on
a rubber mat and applying a small
watchlike Instrument to Its tall.
The dog proved to be a wire-haired
terrier, and when Insulated be
came a perfect receiver of wire
less waves. Tha man was ahoL
YPRES, May 20.—Two Ingenious
Frenchmen from Alsace, who are
faanlllar with tha German La rv-
"The Wallop,the Loa
lea Preaa Club Organ
guage, stopped the rush ef a vastly
superior German force the other
day. They hastily began a game
of pinochle right In line of the
enemy’s advance and then began
• n argument about melding
pinochle first and 150 trumps after.
The German army argued the
question for an hour and the ad
vance was stopped.
VIENNA, May 29—The Russians
are supplementing their barbed
wire entanglements with strings
of Russian words which the Teu
tons cannot penetrate. They are
trying to win over an English pris
oner to drop the H'a out of the^
and open a way, but so far
out success.
Adsr«niii«DaeDL
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