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’\é_»?ow&R?
The
Exception
Proves
VOL. V.
Timelock Foams, the Great Detective
The Mystery of the Three Yellow Discs.
6 AMS,” 1 shouted, as 1
F,bnrst into our dig
gings in Faker street,
“look what I found on the side
walk outside Madison Square
Garden.”
Foams looked up from his
bloater and marmalade.
“Don’'t get overheated, Pot
eon,” he sald. “As a medical
man you must know the danger
of becoming overheated, espe
cially when one is no longer
middle-aged.”
I instinctiively felt the bald
epot on the top of my head.
“But, Foams,” 1 persisted, “thege
must mean something.” With
that I threw down the three tiny
yellow discs I had picked up,
Foams's face changed. I had
never known the great detective
to betray so much emotion. The
matter was serious, then,
Carefully he picked up the
little pietes of cardboard and
put them on the plate in frout
of him. 3
“Potson,” he said, “stop star
ing like a baked owl. Use what
you humorously call your brain
and tell me what you think
these are.”
“You remember the Sign of
the Four?” I answered. “Well,
I'd think this was the Sign of
the Four, but there are ouly
three of them.,” .
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Lyual Kiguts,
® T— e e s R ~__,-‘,__*_______,,_..fi.fi__
Doings of the Junk Family
By T'. E. Poyvers, ‘thev Famous Cartqonist
WE CONGRATU
THE MORNING SMILE
WEX JONES Editor
“Admirable, my dear Potson,
edmirable. Your brainpan, full
of cold molasses, is unusunally
brisk to-day. ‘This would be the
Sign of the Four only there are
only three of them.” An admir
able idea, my dear Potson, but 1
fear not of much use in solving
this problem. These little discs
are of yellow cardboard, Pot
son,” said the great detective, as
he examined them under the mi
croscope. “They have been
clearly punched out, too.”
Foams fell Into a brown study.
“Three discs,” he muttered. *“I
can't understand it. Three; only
three.”
“Oh,” gald 1, “there were three
more of the same kind on the
sidewalk. I didn't think they
made any difference.”
Foams jumped from his chair
and picked up the heavy steel
poker. His face was white with
rage. I thought for a moment
Foams was about to strike me,
but he merely bent the steel rod
into the shape of a pretzel.
“You ‘didn’t think they made
any difference.’ Potson, you are
the biggest chump that ever
lived. BSix discs of yellow card
board on the sidewalk outside
Madison Square Garden, Simple,
simple. They were the discs
punched out of a complimentary
ficket to a fight! Three would
Atlanta, Ga., Sunday, September 19, 1915
riKARST'S SUNDAY AMERICAN. ATLANTA. GA., SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19. Ivin
have been a different matter.
Potson, don’t you know that .an
‘Annie Oakley’ is punched full of
boles? Chump, my dear Potson,
is the only word that describes
you.”
Maybe Foams ig right. He
usually is.
DID YOU KNOW THAT—
In writing “1, 2,8, 4” you al
ways put “2"” second?
You don’t know why?
It's deucedly bad form to be
busy in a lounge suit?
It's also shocking bad form to
run In a walkins sult?
You should never go to court
in anything but a law suit?
None of our best people stay
out late in a morning coat?
In other words, when after
noon comes, they all cut away In
their cutaways?
We never could understand
why the country that has tne
thistle as the emblem has the
kilt as its pational dress?
Some teams win on a fluke, but
we think a bluefish Is faster?
The above paragraph is a fine
example of effjshency?
A
Stumbling
Block
IN THE SMILE’'S
EVOLUTION.
TO THE EDITOR.—BiIIy Sun
day says that anyone whe
teaches evolution is a hypocrite.
This makes me wonder why, if
man has been evolved from mon
keys, that we never hear of any
men being evolved from the
jungle monkeys nowadays. Why
isn't the procesg just as good
now? Monkeys should be turn
ing Into men all the time,
(Mrs.) J. 8.
DANGEROUS, ANYWAY,
TO THE EDITOR.—WouId 1t
be a violation of neutrality to
perform any of the following
acts:
Feed a Russian wolfhound In a
German re!uunnt?‘
Give a Japanese spaniel a plate
of goulash?
Smoke a Turkish cigarette
while enjoying a cupful of Eng
lish Breakfast tea?
An answer would greatly
oblige. PERPLEXED PIRATE.
VERY GOOD, EDDIE.
TO THE EDITOR: What is the
proper way to address a oollee
tion of hoop snakes? 1 always
begin by saying, “Whoops, my
dears!™
TIMOTHY TURNSPIT.
VERY GOOD, EDDIE.
TO THE EDITOR: Does bee
culture pay?
CLIFTON MEEK.
(Ask W. J)
A BEACH QUERY.
O THE EDITOR: What is the
T best thing to do when
eaught In the undertow?
. J. E. SWANKER,
[Step on it—Ea )
NO. 49
By Horatio Winslow
ARGUMENT: You are the Police Reporter on The Morning Star.
It is your duty in the stilly night to round up all the crimes and con
flagrations of the evening. Your name is George, or some equally
monosyllabic monacker.
U (buying a drink)—Anything new, Mike?
Y BARTENDER-—Not a thing, George.
YOU-—Have one with me. Mike.
BARTENDER-—Thanks, | will, George. (From a bottie labelled “Gin”
he pours out a little pure water and drinks it with much theatrical guasto,
He does not record your purchase on the cash register. Sore finger, most
likely.)
DETECTIVE (entering)—Evening, men.
YOU-—Hello, Ed. Have a drink, Ed.
DETECTIVE—You're on, George. A little of the old stuff, Mike,
YOU-<FIII em all up, Mike. What's fresh up you way, Ed?
DETECTIVE (wiping his lips)~-Not a thing, George.
POLITICAL. POWER (peering over the swinging doors)—Any of
youse boys seen Callahan?
YOU--Not yet, Tom. Come on in and have a drink, Tom,
POLITICAL POWER- Every time, George. (Steps in.)
YOU—FII! 'em all up, Mike. (Mike does that littie thing.) Anything
Signs of the Times
| JHEN YOU SR ;
| A man working long after mid
‘nlgm at home washing dishes,
dusting, sweeping, throwing bot
; ties In the garbage pail and other
| wise disporting himself, it is a
sign friend wife Is coming home
’ from vacation.
‘ Youngsters looking at the cal
i endar and counting on their fin
gers, it Is a sign they are not re-
Joicing over the advent of Sep
tember and school.
A man smiling happily because
ft ls getting colder, It is a sign
he Is not an ice dealer.
A woman looking In the shop
windows at straw hats, It Is a sign
she Is picking out something for
’ Winter wear.
l A girl chaseu out on the roof and
How to Be a Police Reporter
slide down the rain pipe, It is a
sign she is a movie actress.
A man who is absolutely neu
tral, it is a sign your eyes are de
ceiving you.
Your wife bring home a stunning
dress, It Is a sign you wlill soen
see a stunning bill.
A man beat It out of the house
Just before dinner and remain
away, dining at the lunch wagon,
it Is a sign he belleves in peace
at any price.
A woman sit down at the tele.
phoene about 10 a. m. and call her
friends, It Is a sign the phone Is
going te be engaged until about
midday.
A man who used to run a plow
factory suddenly become prosper.
ous, It is a sign he has been beating
his plowshares into schrapnel, |
buzzing around, Tom?
POLITICAL POWER (setting down an empty glass)—Not a thing,
George.
EX-PUGILIST (a moral hero—ten years in the squared circle and Nas
vet 10 dbuy Me first drink. Entering)—Got a telephone directory here,
Mike?
YOU-—Hello, Harryr. What's your hurry, Harry? Aren't you drink
ing with us, Harry?
EX-PUGILIST (possessor of $125,000 worth of real estate ond hang
ing on te ét)—Bure, I am, George. Gimme a gin fizz, Mike.
YOU--Alll around, Mike. Anything hatching, Harry?
EX-PUGILIBT (preparing to leave; no unneocesaary risks for him)j—
Not a thing, George.
YOU—Well, then. give us all another little drink, Mike. (General sete
iafaction.)
BARTENDER-—Happy days, George. : ’ v
YOU-1 guess I'll be sliding along, Mike.
BARTENDER~ Wait a minute, George. I heard a good one this
afteruoon. (Tells it.)
YOU—Ha! Ha! Ha! That's some champesn yarn. Fill ‘em all up
on that, Mike.
(And you're always through by five in the morning, ond every Monday
# payday, and Tuesday night you're off, and you can go out with the boys
and have a good téme.)
Little Fairy Tal
Copyright, 1915, by the Btar Company. Grest Britals Rights Reserved, W
THF. honest lawyer tuned to the wealthy newspaper man and——
Once upon a time a doctor said, “Since there is absolutely nothing the
matter with you | am not going to charge you anything for this visit.”
I'he woman turmed to her husband and said, “No. | do not waat
any money. This hat I bought in 1909 is just as good as ever.”
“You will find,” said the box-office man, “that this seat is exactly
behind a post.”
: "wo." exclaimed the child, “keep your dime. |do not care for the
movies.
“Of course, the rent isn't due for a week yet, but | thought I'd just
run in and pay it."”
Greeting each other affectionately, the Englshman and the Germas
walked down the street armm in arm.
“Hooray! Hooray!” shouted the healthy young lad. “Ges, T'm
glad school has started again!”
Once upon a time & faithful lover—
.
General
-
-
Says
Coprright, 1915, wy the Star Company. Great
Britain Rights Reserved.
RS. LOT turned to a pillar of
salt. Pretty soft for Mn,
Lot.
Trying to locate a few items of
ddmestic news In the papers these
days reminds us that war Is cer
tainly all that Sherman said of It
Faint heart never escaped faiy
lady.
Generally women are very busy,
but they WILL kill time when
asked thelr age.
To be genuinely witty you must
be able to remember everything
you read.
Money isn't everything. With
most of us it is a very small met
ter,
A stitch in time is worth twe in
the back.
The way women dress now
there'd be littie to get excited over
If people did live in glass houses.
If It wasn't for watches women
would never know how late they
are.
Love, like liquor, makes the
world go 'reund and ’round, and
both of 'em generally have a ocold
gray dawn,
An optimist is a man who thinks
he knows all about women. A pes
simist is one who does.
The most tiresome person in the
world s a model husband or wifs.
No one knows real monotony like
the wife who has finally succeeded
in reforming her husband.
Most of us howl for justice when
what we really want ls meroy.