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VOL. V.
Timelock Foams, the Great Detective
The Mystery of the Three Yellow Discs.
66 FIAIS." I shouted, as 1
burst into our dig
gings In Faker street,
“look what I found on the side
walk outside Madison Square
Garden.”
Foams looked up from his
bloater and marmalade. .
“Don’t get overheated, Pot
oon,” he sald. “As a medical
man you must know the danger
of becoming overheated, espe
clally when one is no longer
middle-aged.”
I instinctively felt the bald
spot on the top of my head.
“But, Foams,” | persisted, “these
must mean something.” With
that I threw down the three tiny
yellow discs | had plcked up.
Foams's face changed. 1 had
never known the great detective
to betray sc much emotion. The
Watter was serfous, then.
Carefully he picked up the
lttle pleces of cardboard and
put them on the plate in fromt
of him.
“Potson,” he sald, “stop star
ing like a baked owl. Use what
you humorously call your brain
and tell me what you think
these are.” »
“You remember the Sig: of
the Four? | answered. “Well,
I'd think this was the Sign of
the Four, but there are only
three of them.”
’ >
W 3 £ 2
Lo -of &
. e ’ 4 b S
L .-,-:-' Hy ' “ o ) ‘_ -
Cl . Zzmie T
Lyual Mgus.
i @ L
Doings of the Junk Family
By T E. Powers, the Famous Cartoonist
WE CONGRATV
THE MORNING SMILF
Atlanta, Ga., Sunday, Seph-nnvb;a‘rA 179, 1915,
“Admirable, my dear Potson,
admirable. Your brainpan, full
of cold molasses, is unusually
brisk to-day. ‘This would be the
Sign of the Four only there are
only three of them.' An admir
able idea, my dear Potson, but I
fear not of much use in solving
this problem. These little discs
are of yellow cardboard, Pot
son,” said the great detective, as
he examined them under the mi
croscope. “They have been
clearly punched out, too.
Foams fell into a brown study.
“Three discs,” he muttered. *“1
can’t understand it. Three; only
three.”
“Oh,” gald I, “there were three
more of the game kind on the
sidewalk. 1 didn't think they
made any difference.”
Foams jumped from his chalr
and picked up the heavy steel
poker. His face was white with
rage. 1 thought for a moment
Foams was about to strike me,
but he merely bent the steel rod
into the shape of a pretzel.
“You ‘didn’t think they made
any difference.’ Potson, you are
the Dbiggest chump that ever
ltved. Six dises of yellow card
board on the sidewalk outside
Madison Square Garden. Simple,
slmple. They were the discs
punched out of a complimentary
ticket to g fight! Three would
WEX JONES Editor
have been a different matter.
Potson, don't you know that an
‘Annie Oakley' is punched full of
holes? Chump, my dear Potson,
is the only word that describes
’o\]."
Maybe Foams is right. He
usually is. .
DID YOU KNOW THAT—
In writing “1, 2,3, 4" you al
ways put “2" second?
You don’t know why?
It's deucedly bad ferm to be
busy in a lounge suit?
It's also shocking bad form to
run in a walking suit?
| You should never go to court
in anything but a law suit?
| None of our best people stay
‘ out late in a morning coat?
In other words, when after
noon comes, they all cut away in
thelr cutawayu?
We never could understand
why the country that has the
thistle as the emblem has the
kilt as its national dress?
Some teams win on a fluks, but
~ we think a bluefish is faster?
The above paragraph is a fine
example of effishency?
TEARST'S SUNDAY AMERICAN. ATLANTA. GA., SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER 19. 1915
' A ll
, Stumbling ‘
Block
IN THE SMILE’S
EVOLUTION.
TO THE EDITOR.—BIIIy Sun
day says that anyone who
teaches evolution is a hypocrite.
This makes me wonder why, If
man has been evolved from mon
keys, that we never hear of any
men being evolved from the
Jungle monkeys nowadays. Why
fsn't the process just as good
now? Monkeys should be turn
ing Into men all the time.
(Mrs.) J. 8.
DANGEROUS, ANYWAY,
TO THE EDITOR.—WouId it
be a violation of neutrality to
perform any of the following
acts:
Feed a Russian wolfhound in a
German restaurant?
Give a Japanese spaniel a plate
of goulash?
Bmoke a Turkish cigarette
while enjoying a cupful of Eng.
Hsh Breakfast tea?
An answer would greatly
oblige. PERPLEXED PIRATE.
VERY GOOD, EDDIE,
TO THE EDITOR: What is the
proper way to address a colleo
tion of hoop snakes? T always
begin by saying, “Whoops, my
dears!”
TIMOTHY TURNSPIT.
VERY GOOD, EDDIE,
TO THE EDITOR: Does bee
culture pay?
CLIFTON MEEK.
(Ask W. J)
A BEACH QUERY.
O THE EDITOR: What 1s the
T best thing to do when
*eaught In the undertow?
J. E. SWANKER.
AStep on it—Ea,)
NO. 49
ARGUMENT: You are the Police Reporter on The Morning Star.
It is your duty in the stilly night to round up all the crimes and con
flagrations of the evening. Your name is George, or some equally
monosyllablc monacker.
U (buying a drink)—Anything new, Mike?
'Y BARTENDER—Not a thing, George.
YOU-—Have one with me, Mike.
BARTB.\TDER-—-Thanks, T will, George. (From a bottle labelled “Gin"
he pours out a little pure water and drinks it with much theatrical gusto,
He does not record vour purchase on the cash register. Sore finger, most
likely.)
DETECTIVE (entering )—Evening, men.
YOU-~Hello, Ed. Have a drink, Ed.
DETECTIVE—You're on, George. A little of the old stuff, Mike,
YOU-—Flll ‘em all up, Mike. What's fresh up you way, Ed?
DETECTIVE (wiping his lips)—Not a thing, George.
POLITICAL POWER (peering over the swinging doors)—Any of
Souse boys seen Callahan?
YOU--Not yet, Tom. Come on in and have a Adrink, Tom.
POLITICAL POWER-—Every time, George. (Steps in.)
YOU—FIII *em all up, Mike. (Mike does that little thing.) Anything
Signs of the Times
Coprright, 1918, by the Star Company,
WHEN YOU SEE:—
A man working long after mid
night at home washing dishes,
dusting, sweeping, throwing bot.
ties In the garbage pail and other.
wise disporting himself, It is a
sign friend wife Is coming home
from vacation.
Youngsters looking at the oal
endar and counting on their fin
gers, It Is a sign they are not re-
Joleing over the advent of Sep
tember and school,
A man smiling happlly because
ft is getting colder, It Is a sign
he Is not an ice dealer.
A woman looking In the shop
windows at straw hats, It Is a sign
she Is picking out something for
Winter wear, ;
A §in{ chased out on the roes and
*
How to Be a Police Reporter
By Horatio “;:;l:ltol‘:s by the Star Company. b::::n}l:g:;df:::: Reserved
« Great Britain Rights Reserved.
slide down the rain pipe, It Is a
sign she Is a movie actress.
A man who is absolutely neu
tral, It Is a sign your eyes are de
ceiving you.
Your wife bring home a stunning
dress, It ls a sign you will soon
800 a stunning bill.
\
A man beat It out of the house
Just before dinner and remain
away, dining at the lunch wagon,
It Is a sign he belleves In peace
&t any price,
A woman sit down at the tele.
phone about 10 a. m. and call her
friends, It s a sign the phone Is
going to be engaged until about
midday.
A man who used to run a plow
factory suddenly become prosper-
Ous, it is a sign he has been beating
his plowshares Into schrapnel,
POLITICAL POWER (setting down an empty glass)—Not a thing,
George.
EX-PUGILIST (a moral hero—ten years in the squared circle and has
vet to buy his first drink. Entering)—Got a telephone directory here,
Mike?
YOU—Hello, Harry. What’s your hurry, Harry? Aren’t you drink
ing with us, Harry?
EX-PUGILIST (possesaor of $125,000 worth of real estate and hange
ing on te it)—Sure, I am, George. Gimme a gin fizz, Mike.
YOU—AII around, Mike. Anything hatching, Harry?
EX-PUGILIST (preparing to leave ; no unnecessary risks for him)—
Not a thing, George.
YOU—Well, then, give us all another little drink, Mike. (General sat
{sfaction.)
BARTENDER—Happy days, George.
YOU—I guess I'll be sliding along, Mike.
BARTENDER—Wait a minute, George. I heard a good one this
afternoon. (Telis it.)
YOU—Ha! Ha! Ha! That's some champeen yarn. Fill 'em all up
on that, Mike.
(And you're always through by five in the morning, and every Monday
s payday, and Tuesday night you're off, and you can go out with the boys
and have a good time.)
. .
Little Fairy Tales
Copyright, 1915, by the Star Company. Great Britain Rights Reserved,
THE honest lawyer turned to the wealthy newspaper man and—
Once upon a time a doctor said, “Since there is absolutely nothing the
matter with you I am not going to churge you anything for this visit."
The woman tumed to her husband and said, “No, I do not want
any money. This hat | bought in 1909 is just as good as ever.”
“You will find,” said the box-office man, “that this seat is exactly
behind a post.”
*“No,” exclaimed the child, “keep your dime. Ido not care for the
. -
“Of course, the rent isn't due for a week yet, but | thought I'd fust
run in and pay it."
Greeting each other affectionately, the Englishman and the German
walked down the street arm in arm.
“Hooray! Hooray!" shouted the healthy young lad. “Cee, 'm
glad school has started again!™
Oace upon a time & faithiul loveper
Says:
.
Copyright, 18185, by the Star Company. Grest
Britain Rights Reserved.
RS. LOT turned to a pillar of
salt. Pretty soft for Mn
Lot.
Trying to locate a few items of
domestic news in the papers these
days reminds us that war is cer
tainly all that Sherman sald of it
Faint heart never escaped fair
lady.
Generally women are very busy,
but they WILL kill time when
asked their age.
To be genuinely witty you must
be able to remember everything
you read.
Money isn't everything. With
most of us it is a very small mat
ter.
A stitch In time is worth two In
the back.
The way women dress now
there'd be little to get excited over
If people did live in glass houses.
It it wasn’'t for watches women
would never know how late they
are.
Love, like liquor, makes the
world go 'round and 'round, and
both of 'em generally have a cold
gray dawn.
An optimist is a man who thinks
he knows all about women. A pes
simist Is one who does.
The most tiresome person In the
world is a model husband or wifs.
No one knows real monotony like
the wife who has finally succeeded
in reforming her husband.
Most of us howl for justice when
what we really want.is mercy.