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The
Exception
Proves
VOL. V.
Timelock Foams, the Great Detective
The Mystery of the Three Yellow Discs.
¢ AMS."” 1 shouted, as 1
‘F) burst into our dig
gings in Faker street,
*look what I found on the side
walk outside Madison Square
Garden.”
Foams looked up from his
bloater and marmalade.
“Don't get overheated, Pot.
oon,” he sald. “As a medical
man you must know the danger
of bdecoming overheated, espe
clally when ome is no longer
middie-aged.”
I instinctively felt the bald
#pot on the top of my head.
“But, Foams,” I persisted, “these
must mean something” With
that I threw down the three tiny
yellow discs 1 had picked up.
Foams's face changed. 1 had
mever known the great detective,
to betray so much emotion. The
matter was serious, then.
Carefully he plcked up the
Httle pleces of cardboard and
put them om the plate In front
of him.
“Potson,” he sald, “stop star
ing like a baked owl. Use what
you humorously call your brain
and tell me what you think
these are.”
“You remember the Sig. of
the Four? | answered. “Well,
I'd think this was the Sign of
the Four, but there are only
three of them.”
™S R o 4
m &GN
¢ . < N -, “Il\‘.\ E(
«\ ._.‘ p JY RN TS
Ll e, YT
Lyual Magiis.
& s ———— _.____-__.“—‘—'-'—————‘—____
Doings of the Junk Family
By T E. Powers, the Famous Cartoonist ‘
THE MORNING SMILE
WEX JONES Editor
Atlanta, Ga., Sunday, bepu-mberfiia,l?)l—;’;‘
“Admirable, my dear Potson,
admirable. Your brainpan, full
of cold molasses, is unusually
brisk to-day. ‘This would be the
Sign of the Four only there are
only three of them.' An admir
able {dea, my dear Potson, but |
fear not of much use in solving
this problem. These little discs
are of yellow cardboard, Pot
son,” said the great detective, as
he examined them under the mi
croscope. “They have been
clearly punched out, too.”
Foams fell into a brown study.
“Tiree discs,” he muttered, *1
can’t understand it. Three; only
three.”
“Oh,” sald I, “there were three
more of the same kind on the
sidewalk. 1 didn't think they
made any difference.”
Foams jumped from his chalr
and picked up the heavy steel
poker. His face was white with
rage. 1 thought for a momont
Foams was about to strike me,
but he merely bent the steel rod
iato the shape of a pretsel,
“You ‘didn’t think they made
any difference.’ Potson, you are
the biggest chump that ever
lived. Six discs of yellow card
board on the sidewalk outside
Madison Square Garden. Stmple,
simple. They were the discs
punched out of a complimentary
ticket to a fight! Three would
fTEARST'S SUNDAY AMERICAN. ATLANTA, GA. SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER 19, 1913
——— e AUBANA, UA., SUNDAY, - SEF
have been a different matter.
Potson, don't you know that an
‘Annie Oakley’ 1s punched full of
holes? Chump, my dear Potson,
is the only word that describes
you.”
Maybe Foams iy right He
usually Is,
—————————
DID YOU KNOW THAT—
In writing “1, 2,8, 4" you al
ways put “2" second? ’
You don't know why?
It's deucedly bad form to be
busy in a lounge suit?
It's also shocking bad form to
run in & walking sult?
You should never go to court
in anything but a law suit?
None of our bdest peopls stay ‘
out late in & morning coat?
In other words, when after {
noon comes, they all cut away in
their cutaways?
We never could understand
why the country that has the
thistle as the emblem has the
kilt as its national dress? |
— \
Bome teams win on a fluke, but !
we think a bluefish is faster?
The above paragraph is a fine
example of effishency?
A
Stumbling
Block
IN THE SMILE’S
EVOLUTION.
TO THE EDITOR.—BiIIy Sun
day says that anyone whe
teaches evolution is a hypocrite.
This makes me wonder why, 1t
man has been evolved from mon
keys, that we never hear of any
men being evolved from the
jungle monkeys nowadays. Why
fsn't the process just as good
now? Monkeys should be turn.
ing into men all the time.
(Mrs.) J. 8.
DANGEROUS, ANYWAY,
TO THE EDITOR.—WouId 1t
be a violation of neutrality to
perform any of the following
aots:
Feed a Russian wolfhound in &
German restaurant?
Give a Japanese spaniel a plate
of goulash?
Smoke a Turkish cigarette
while enfoying a cupful of Eng-
Hsh Breakfast tea?
An answer would greatly
oblige. PERPLEXED PIRATR.
VERY GOOD, EDDIE.
TO THE EDITOR: What is the
proper way to address a eolleo
tion of hoop snakes? I always
begin by saying, “Whoops, my
dears!”
TIMOTHY TURNSPIT.
VERY GOOD, EDDIE.
TO THE EDITOR: Does bdee
eulture pay?
CLIFTON MEEK.
(Ask W. J)
A BEACH QUERY,
O THE EDITOR: What is the
T best thing to do when
caught in the undertow?
J. E. SWANKER.
Loy on i—Ea)
NO. 49
ARGUMENT: You are the Police Reporter on The Morning Star,
It Is your duty in the stilly night to round up all the crimes and con
flagrations of the evening. Your name |ls George, or some equally
monosyllabic monacker.
‘l rOU (buying a drink)—Anything new, Mike?
BARTENDER-—Not a thing, George. ’
YOU-—-Have one with me, Mike.
BARTENDER—Thanks, 1 will, George. (From a dottle ladelled “Gin"
he pours out a little pure water and drinks 4t with much theatrical gusto,
He does not record vour purchase on the cash register. Bore finger, most
Ukely.) \
DETECTIVE (entering)—Evening, men.
YOU—Hello, Ed. Have a drink, Ed.
DETECTIVE—You're on, George. A little of the old stuff, Mike
YOU-—Flll 'em all up, Mike. What's fresh up you way, Ed 4?
DETBECTIVE (wiping Ma Hps)—Not a thing, George.,
POLITICAL POWER (peering. over the swinging doors)—Any of
youse boys seen Callahan?
YOU--Not yet, Tom. Come on in and have a drink, Tom.,
POLITICAL POWER-—Every time, George. (Steps in.)
YOU—FIII ‘e all up, Mike. (Mike does that little thing.) Anything
Signs of the Times
Copyright, 1915, by the Btar Company,
P sen)-- :
A man working long after mid
night at home washing dishes,
dusting, sweeping, throwing bot.
ties In the garbage pail and other
wise disporting himeelf, it s a
sign friend wife ls coming home
from vacation.
Youngsters looking as the ecal
endar and Bounting on thelr fin
gers, It is a sign they are not re-
Jolcing over the advent of Sep
tember and school.
A man smiling happlly because
nu.mm.un».nuoun
he s not an ice dealer,
.
A woman looking In the shop
windows at straw hats, It Is a sign
she Is picking out something for
Winter wear,
A Gl ehased out on thereof ane
How to Be a Police Renorter
a
Copyright, 1915, by the Star Company. Great Britain Rights Reserved.
By Horatio Winslow
Great Britain Rights Reserved.
slide down the rain plpe, It ls &
Bign she s & movie actress.
A man whe s absolutely neu
tral, it is a sign your eyes are de
celving you.
Your wife bring home a stunning
dress, It s a olgn you will soon
00 & stunning bill. |
A man beat It out of the house
Just before dinner and remaln
away, dining at the lunch wagon,
It Is & sign he belleves In peace
at any price.
A woman sit down at the tele
phone about 10 a. m. and call her
friends, It is & sign the phone s
going to be engaged until about
midday.
Am-nmumumnphw
factory suddenly become prosper
ous, it is a sign he has been beating
his plowshares Into schrapnel,
buzzing around, Tom? -
POLITICAL POWER (getting down an empty glass)—Not a thing,
George.
EX-PUGILIST (a moral hero—ten yvears in the squared circle and has
vet to duy his first drink. Entering)—Got a telephone directory here,
Mike?
YOU-—Hello, Harry. What's your hurry. Harry? Aren't you drink
ing with us, Harry?
EX-PUGILIST (possessor of $125,000-worth of real estate and hange
ing on te ét)—Sure, I am, George. Gimme a gin flzz, Mike.
YOU—AII around, Mike. Anything hatching, Harry?
EX-PUGILIST (preparing to leave; no unnecessary risks for him)—
Not a thing, George.
YOU—Well, then, glve us all another little drink, MIF‘. (General sate
tsfaction.)
BARTBN‘DER—-Hum days, George.
YOU-—l' guess I'll be sliding along, Mike.
BARTENDER—Wait a minute, George. I heard a good one this
afternoon. (Tells it)
YOU—Ha! Ha! Ha! That's some champeen yarn. Fill 'em all up
on that, Mike.
(And you're always through by five in the morning, and every Monday
& payday, end Tuesday night you're off, and you can go out with the boys
and have a good time.)
L .
Little Fairy Tales
Copyvight, 1915, by the Star Company. Great Britain Rights Reserved, -
THE honest lawyer turned to the wealthy newspaper man and—— .
Once upon a time a doctor said, *Since there is absolutely nothing the
mncwithmllmnotlo'n.bchnnyoulny\hingfotth'uvin't.“
Thmnnm:nedbherbmbandnnduid.“No.ldonotm
any money. Thi-hatlboubthlmiliwucooducvu.'
"Yeuwfllfiad.'nfldnba-ofiumn.“lhnthhnniuudy
behind a post.” °
“Nq”uchhdthedlfld."h-.m& Ido not care for the
movies,”
flmhnflh’td&.ham&yfl.bfllwflh
run in and pay it."”
Greeting each other affectionately, the Englishman and German
walked down the street arm in arm. i
“Hooray! Hooray!™ shouted the heal m.fi hd. "G, ,
glad school has started again!™ " »
%“c'huwm
General
. .
-
Says
Copyrignt, 1 ,by the Star Company. Gwest
B:llgu:’m‘htl Reserved.
RS. LOT turned to a piliar of
M salt. Pretty soft for Mn,
Lot. :
Trying to locate a few Items of
domestic news In the papers these
days reminds us that war Is cen~
tainly all that Sherman said of It.
Faint heart never escaped faly
lady.
Generally women are very busy,
but they WILL kill time when
asked their age.
To be genuinely witty you must
be able to remember everything
you read. .
Money Isnit everything. With
most of us it Is a very small mat
ter.
A stitch In time Is worth two In
the back.
The way women dress now
there’d be little to get excited over
If people did live in glass houses.
If It wasn't for watches women
would never know how late they
are.
Love,- like \ liquor, makes the
world go 'round and ’'round, and
both of 'em generally have a cold
gray dawn.
An optimist is a mnr‘ who thinks
he knows all about women. A pes
simist Is one who does.
The most tiresome person In the
world is a model husband or wife.
No one knows real monotony like
the wife who has finally succeeded
in reforming her husband.
Most of us howl for justice when
what we really want is merey.