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MUNDAY, NOVEMRER 8 IMS
THE DINGBAT FAMILY
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ER AFTER = a - FOR THAT ! ANSWER TO~MORROWY o
A Truly Model Husband
66 ARY’S husband”—— she be
gan.
Mr. Gummer laid down
his knife and fork sullenly, and strug
gled with his mouthful of bacon. The
exasperation on his face was acute.
“Look 'ere.”” he said, “I'm tired of
fAearing about Mary's husband. It's
the same thing day after day. I never
get any good of me breakfast with
listening to you tell about the way he
does things different.”
“Every morning before he goes out
he has the kettle boiling, and a cup
of tea brought to her. Always did it
since the day he was married. He
never could bear to lie in bed and
hear her scouring round in the cold.”
“Well, if a man likes that kind of
a . life,”’ sald Mr. Gummer dryly,
“there’s no reason why anyone should
interfere—anyway, as long as he
keeps it 'ushed up.”
Mr. Gummer's face had the weari
ness of one who had heard the litany
once too often. He wanted to have a
glance at the paper before he went
off to work, but he was unable to do
it. His wife's voice, running on and
on, cut through his peace of mind like
a knife through soft cheese.
“It comes natural to some men to
treat their wives decent,” she said.
“Mary’'s husband would die rather
than lie in bed listening to her get
ting the things ready. 1 suppose some
men are born with good manners, and
others have to be taught.”
Mr. Gummer pushed back his chair
viciously, and went out into the other
room for his cap, wiping his mustache
with the back of his hand. He had
not awakened in a good temper, any
how, and the constant allusion to
Mary's husband was like pressing on
the nerve of a bad tooth.
He shut the door with a slam, and
as he made his way into the chill
street the crushing things he might
have said to his wife began to take
shape in his mind.
Throughout the day it became his
Coprrght, JIA letersationsl News Servics Begivtersd U 6 Petest OFes
Copyright, 1915, Newspaper Feature Servies, Inc. Registered U. 8. Patent Office. Great Bataln Rights Resarved.
Registered U, 5. Patent Ofce.
increasing conviction that the slight
pain he had noticed lately in the re
glon of his kidneys was caused by
his not having his full sleep out in
the mornings. How was it possible to
get a proper pleasure in the warmth
of his bed when he knew that Ann
was sorting out some more of the
virtues of Mary's husband as she
banged the crockery about in the
kitchen?
That question was burning in his
mind in the evening when he came
off duty and turned Into a bar. He
was a little staggered to find George
standing with his elbow on the coun
ter and a half-pint of bitter comfort
ably near. He looked at him with a
trace of resentment,
George also was a motorman on the
same run, but their times of duty did
not correspond; and, besides, to tell
the truth, they had avoided each other
for some time. There were quite suf
ficient reasons for the bitterness he
felt towards George, though he could
Coppright, JOIA, Intermationsl News Servies. Begiotorsd U. 6. Felent Ufice.
We're With “Jimmy” Carson We Belleve Shrimp Should Be Spanked
not tell why George should have a
grudge against him,
“Ho!" he sald ironically. “You here?
I thought you'd 'a been home cleaning
the linolyum in the hall!”
“Wot?' said George, bristling an
grily.
“Thought vou'd turned teetotai,
too,” went on Mr. Gummer, with a
sneer. ‘“Thought you'd be hurrying
home to get supper ready by now.”
George laughed with a forced en
ergy.
“Likely! 1 don't think! Who's been
telling you that sort of guff?”
“Oh, that's what Mary tells my
missus! Never was such a man as
you. Get up early every morning,
vou do, and have a cup of tea carried
in. Spend all your spare time scrub
bing the house, and I dunno what else,
Reg’lar model 'usband "
A purple flush overspread George's
face.
“And I've been 'aving your habits
chucked in me face every minute I'm
at home,” he said savagely. “Never
stay out late, you don't. Wash up
every night an’ take your wife out to
a picture pallis afterwards. [ carn’t
turn in me chair without ’earing
about the different way you'd do e
The full significance of the situa
(P ATLANTA GEOROIAN
Joe Beamish Is About the Most Secret Spy That Ever Lived
k
tion began to dawn slowly upon Mr.
Gummer's brain, He brought his fists
down with a deadly earnestness.
“Look 'ere,” he sald, “we've got to
stop this. Yes, we've got to stop it, or
we'll get no more peace.”
A little later, when Mrs. Gummer
was aroused by a knock, she went to
the door with one of those acid phrases
on her lips that she had been prepar
ing during the half hour supper had
been waliting. But it was Mary's hus
band who was standing there.
“Joe not in yet?' he asked, in a sur
prised voice,
“No,” she said. ‘I don’t know what’s
kept him. Never saw such a man for
being late, 1 didn't, Something seems
to have come over 'im these last few
months.”
Mary's husband walked in, his
heavy boots gritting on the linoleum
she had cleaned that day.
“'B's a funny chap, Joe" he said.
“Seems to have something on his
mind.”
“I don't know what he would 'ave
on his mind,” sald Mrs. Grummer,
tartly. “No man could have a hap
pier home than what he has.”
“Don’t take much to put him off his
balance,” he sald, with a falnt con
He Had 1w Call In Some Expert Al
There’ll Be Just as Many Casualties
tempt. "He‘auJumpyaannol'mnld.
'‘specially when he gets in a bit of
traflic. I tell him ’'e’'s got too many
nerves to drive a care properly. He
oughter be behind a counter working
a 4 bacon slicer, and serving out quar
ter-pounds of cheese.”
It was too much for Mrs. Gummer.
She could not bear anyone but her
gelf to ridicule Joe. And she was be
ginning to entertain a conviction that
Mary's husband was an extremely un
pleagant person. He seemed to have
no other object than to insult Joe.
“The other chaps cod him a bit”
he said, with a famfiliar grin.
«“'Ow do you mean?’ said Mrs.
Gummer, coldly.
“Oh, about his ’abit of sticking at
home in the evenings. They rub it into
him no end. It's that what gets on
his mind, I suppose.”
Mrs., Gummer jumped up, and the
resentment she never dared to show
to anyone but her husband was only
suppressed with an effort.
“Well, it's plain he won't be in this
evening,” she said. “If you've got any
thing really important you want to
see him about, youd’ best come in an
other time.”
She opened the door, and glared at
bim with a frank hostility as she
showed him out into the street,
But she was wrong in her prophecy
as to Mr. Gummer's movements, for at
that precise moment he was emerg-
Ing from Mary’s house, and a little
later had taken hig place at the cozy
supper table.
It was only when he came across
traces of mud on the linoleum that an
annoyed interest seemed to grip him.
“Wot's this 'ere mud?”’ he asked,
sharply.
A flush crept up Mrs. Gummer’s
face.
“Mary's husband’s been here,” she
said at last.
“Oh!"” he replied, drily, keeping his
face stralght with an effort. “Oh, in
deed!"
She felt the {frony in his voice,
“It strikes me he's been drinking too
much,” he said at last. “He’s getting
fat and coarse, and there's a lazy look
about him. Besides, he talks a 3 free
an’ easy in a house as if it were a pub
lic bar. It's my opinion—-"
She pressed her lips together and
looked at her husband as if she had
determined to assert herself for once.
“It's my opinion, Joe, that Mary's
married beneath 'er!”
ATLANTA, GA.
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Figure—Atively Speaking.
Things were slack in the office, aa
the manager was on a holiday. The
chief clerk therefore thought it was
his chance of wooing the typist.
“Just one kiss,"” he begged fervently.
“Certainly not!” replied the girl cold
ly. “I'd as soon Kiss a serpent as youl*
“That's all right, then,” said the man
calmly. ‘1 saw you kiss a serpent yes
terday.”
“W.-w-what!"”
“yes, you kissed the bookkeeper, and
he's an adder, you know! 2
7