Newspaper Page Text
Half; the Difficulty of Fighting Any Severe Battle or Accom_g{ifi{ggfié{zz_gg{é_zqu Vanishes When a Man Feels He Has Comrades ac rlts Side
D A
+ThHE GEORGIANS MAGAZINE PAGE——
‘Cheating Cheaters’
Novelized From the Broadway Success.
By JANE McLEAN.
(Novelized from the play by Max
Marecin, produced by A. H. Woods,
and now running at the Eltinge
Theater, New York. Copyright, 1916,
international News Service.)
HE Palmers listened, entranced
T And Ruth, with a smile of
satisfaction, slipped off the
diamond collar and returned it to
its case.
“What was that, Professor?" sald
‘ Mrg. Palmer as the music ended, *I
don’'t think I have ever heard it be
fore."”
“Yes, it's a catchy tune” said
Grace, lightly. “Won't you play it
for us again?’
“Yes,” smald Ruth; “and play it
louder.”
Tony acquiesced, and once more
played the thing through, this time
very much louder, :
Ruth nodded approvingly as sha‘
swung around from the plano at
the finish, Steve had the signal and
no doubt would act immediately,
"She did not wish that the others
would leave her alone to take her
music lesson,
At that moment Phil, the butier,
appeared in the doorway, and Ruth's
heart skipped a beat. Could this be
Steve already?
“A gentleman to see you sir” said
the butler to Tom.
Tom took the card and read ihe
name aloud. “Mr. Morton 7T. Han
“lq,v.. Carnegie Hero Foundation. What
«does he want to see me about? All
. right, Phil; ask him to come in."
~ The stranger Phil admitted entered
~ the room the next moment, and com
:lwnrd Tom offered his hand cor
iy.
A Plausible Visit.
- "I an very glad to meet you, sir,”
_he began, “especially under the cir
:{’;W“ that brings me here”
~ Tom bowed, and having made the
_ mecessary Introductions waited for
the man to state his business. Ruth
~ Was the last one to be introduced,
“s‘.‘ as Tom murmured Miss Brock
- ton the man turned toward her inter. !
'l,'l“dl!.
. "Miss Ruth Brockton?” he queried,
For a moment Ruth's heart almost
W Suppose this man happened
10 be a detective under Ferris, He
' might even be Forris himself, What
-On earth could she do? But the
_ stranger went on speaking.
~ "Your name is on my list.” he said,
- Smiling pleasantly. “I was about to
motor over to your house, Miss
l‘.'mtmn“‘ We are gathering the tes
%haly the eyewitnesses to Mr.
~ Palmer's valorous conduct on the oe.
- oaslon of the sinking of the passenger
Termania with a view of
Awarding a first prize, a gold medal,
exceptional herolsm,”
. "You're not going to pin a°*Car
m hero medal on me?™ protested
%‘“'
~ “Honestly, 1 don't deserve anything
that”
i Ruth was lstening carefully 1o
g{ga‘ve You Met Her?
L By ANNE LISLE.
'lr HEN she was still quite young
] w Allce May Wright learned that
1 People would forgive her any-
E thing if she turnea the radiance of her
‘m_,,hl.-lllh‘d brown eyes full upon them
_ &nd followed the advance guard with a
~ battery of up-curved lips dimpled at the
worners by a smile
Fv’ Allce May had no intention of being
, & selfish girl or of cheating at the game
L Of Mfe. But it was 50 easy to save hc-r1
~ @nergy and just smile. It always brought
| pesults. Nobody ever refused Alice May |
| anything 1f she smiled when she asked |
for It.
;7 80 she amiled hor way through school |
. And college and out into the world, |
- Which seemed ready to give her living |
IR return for up-curled lashes and up
- Gurved lips and flashing dimples. It
%’:‘l 80 much easler (o give the world
i smile than an honest effort
' Allce May had real ability—a (-Irw-r‘
:';»Nl\, the trick of expressing herself |
. Well, and an Imaginative nature which
!mt up charming little fairy table
“:h of gossamer lightness. Alice May
found that by carrying her stories to
sditorial sanctums she got a reading for
| them, and that now and then one crept
f.“ print She devoted a good deal
lk"‘ time to amiling editors into a re-
P mood than to setting herself the
m frowning contempiation of her
{im and the way she was developing
! them.
A Winning Smile,
‘ Alice May's smile got her landlord
§ 10 “shave the rent a bit” when she took
& lttle apartment which she could iUI
~ afford, but which the encouraging atti.
. tudé of the editor of Crandall's made her
. feel_she could risk. She amiled herself
out of dedbt and into the good graces of
& social circle with which she could not
afond to keep up. and then she amiled
herstilf into the heart of its most eligi- |
. Ble bmchelor and became Mrs. Archibald
It did not seem quite fair to the other
®irls. who knew her--that without an:
more exertion than flickering & smile
Seross her fuce Alice May got all the |
Prizes in life. There were jealousy and
_ Beart-burnings galore, and people with
BB strong seuse of righteousness Insisted
[ADAL tuings would not always g 0 so
""”l!v' Allce May Whitmeore
L 0 reason that fortune could
everyvthing that was taking place.
Here was a chance for her to deo
something for Tom Palmer that might
in a sense atone for the grave ing-
Justice she intended to perform that
night,
“Don’t let him underestimate ' ‘m
self, Mr. Hanley,” she interrupted,
lwnh shining eyes.”
“Why, during that panic after the
frightful explosion, in the wild rush
for the lifeboats, what chance would
the women and children have had but
for him? With even the crew fighting
to save themselves, he stood against
the rall, pistol in hand, holding back
the mob; and when the last boat was
launched we saw hinmy master of the
situation, resigning his own wseat to
a little boy who had been separated
!frmn his mother. When the ship went
‘down, If it hadn't been that the sea
was calm, and we saw him clinging
1o a log, he, too, would have been
lost.”
It was a tender little testimony told
with all the fervor of a girlish heart.
It told Tom Palmer more than all her
careless words and actions, that she
cared, but for once Ruth was deter
mined to tell the truth.
“Miss Brockton,” said Hanley, en
thusiastically, “your statement com
pletes our record of the disaster. If
you will be so good as to write out
‘what yvou have just said, attest it be
;foro & notary and mail it to me, the
medal will be quickly awarded. Oh,
by the way, Mr. Palmer,” turning to
‘Tom, “some day, when you get a
chance, you must visit our office and
examine the tributes of your fellow
passengers.
“Why, there are statements from
s#ome of the most prominent peopie
of the country. There's one from Mr,
Carnegie's personal physician, and
one from Mr. Pearson, the president
of the Union Nstlonal Bank. But the
clegrest account of all we received
from a detective, Ferris.”
Ferris on the Trail.
Ruth started violently, Once more
the deadly suspicion flashed across
her mind that this man's vigit boded
no good for her. She wondered if she
had said too much before; but, no,
that had been personal and a tribute
to Tom, 4
“Ferris, Ferris?" said Tom, wflu.‘
kling his forehead. “I don't recall the
name on the passenger list. Do yo'.‘
mother?”
“He may have traveled incognito,”
offered Hanley; “detectives often do,
especially when they're after some
body.” ‘
Tony gave a gasp at this, and Ruth
put M hastily to cover it:
“Have you seen Mr. Ferris, Mr,
Hanley” s he in the city?"
“Well, 1 don't know. 1 called at his
office this morning. One of his as
sistants told me that Mr. Ferris was
after an extremely clever of
criminals, against whom he h.:-n%»n
gathering evidence for the past five
months. He expects to land them all
by the end of the week.” .
(To Be Concluded Tomorrow.)
not always favor her. Her husband
would fust have to lose his money or
her children sicken and die, or some
thing g» wroug. You could not smile
yourself ‘hrough the world and into the
8007 graces of Fate.
It wasn't possible that Life would
continue to shower Its prizes into the
lap of & woman who did nothing to de
serve them -—who merely looked up and
amiled. }
But Alice May's life went on serene-
Iy--ahe flashed her smile ang fortune
smiled back. Ang everybody sald it
WAsß't falr, and cynles smiled wisely,
and u few sensitive souls felt an ache of
bitterness in their hearts for others
Who deserved g 0 much more than Alice
May and got so much less.
Yet Alice May went on smiling. And
robody knew that the smile covered
Over an ache of abnegation. Alice May
had wanted to write good stories—
strong. wonderful, psychological things
that the worlq would read and be bet
ter for reading. AN nature had
cquipped her to do fMluffy little fairy
tales. Bhe could only smile when she
wanted to bring tears 0 the heart of
humanity,
Allce May had longed to stay at home
in her little village ANd marry a strug
gling young drug clerk. who might, if
he were lucky, be taken into partner
ship by the village apothecary by the
time he was 40. She hadn't the courage
for that, so she had to smile to cover
the longing in her own soul.
Archie Whitmore horeq Alice May to
distraction—but all her smiling hadn't
sufficed to produce any hohorable nenns
of paying tatlor bills and butchers angd
bakers and rent. 8o Alice May smiled
herself into an eligible mateh the while
her heart ached with longing for some
thing else.
Alice May's children adored their
stern, hard-working father ang thought
thelr mother a delicate, Dresden china
lady, to be cuddled but not confided
n. She smiled at that, too.
Fertunately the Alice Mays of life are
rare Hut the next time you envy a
celebrated dancer who marries her mil.
lionafre admirer or sneeringly comment
on & cabaret singer who elopes with an.
other woman's husband, remember that
she may be (00 weak to take what
she wants from life and has to accept
the choap substitutes for happiness that
she can resist. {
Mave k met Alice May Wright?
| . |
What Ho! If You Would Skating Go *
at Ho! ou g Go. (
|
.-- ’ * )
Reprinted by permission of Harper’s Bazar, the only Magazine of
| - - - -
| Fashion, Fiction and Society for the woman who knows,
- - .
| published continuously for over fifty years.
| SIS
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ey
The Manicure Lady
By WILLIAM F. KIRK.
o GOT a stack of Christmas cards
l to send out, George,” said the
Manieure Lady “That's my
system this year-—-nothing but cards to
my friends—cards and regards.”’
“1 ain’t even going to send out oards,”
sald the Head Barber. 'l'm going to
ket a few little things for up home, but
If my friends won't be my friends
‘vum»us reminders, 1 stand to lose ‘em
all”
"1 think that there Yuletide spirit is
overdid,” geclared the Manicure Lady
“T ain't had & tip this week. Even my
best customers is tightening up on tips,
and some of them must be fixing their
nails up home, because they ain't
shown lately., Joe Blow ain't been in
for two weeks, and | know he ain't
sick, because | seen him the other day
talking to & movie actor, and he looked
like the welterweight champlon. You
gotta show me, George. about all this
prosperity that there war has fetched
ue."
“It's better, though.” sald the Head
Harber, “to be getting along here the
WaY we are than to be over in that
Jam. 1 seen a moving picture last night
of & battle over there, and believe me,
1 don't want to be part of no such do
ings. There was genis dropping or
every side”
“let's not thing about it,"” sald the
Manicure lady. “I'd rather keep on
talking about Christmas. Father was
saying last night thet he s going to
loosen up considerable, but that's his
way. He can't ever figure on being
rieh, George, with that big heart of
!Ms If everybody was like father there
wouldn't be no bread line
“And brother Wilfred is there with
the big heart, too, only he ain't there
with the bankroll to back it up. Me
got twenty last week for some Christ
mas poems 10 gO on postal cards, byt
150 4Kin't have the twenty that many
minutes. and he don't know where he
s golng to get any mdre orders on ac-
Count of e scason being late I think
this verse he wrote for a card is kind o(l
cute, don't you George? Listen:' |
“A merry Christmas | wish to you,
And all your relatives as well,
And hope that when the day s through
You will have presents very swell,
I'd like to give you one myseif,
But lately I ain’t got no pelf.”
“That ain’'t bad,"” sald the Head Bar
ber. “If 1 could dope out a gift like
that I'q senq It to a lot of my cus
tomers. Maybe some of them 'd come
Across with what they owe me.’
“Gee, that's a flerce Christmas
speech!” exclaimed the Manicure Lady.
“1 wonder what'y getting into you,
George. If the horses was running now
I would think it was that."”
“It ain’t that,” sald the Head Bar
ber. “and | know that ain't & nice hol
iday aspiel, but when prices is where
they are a fellow can't help kind of
yearning for what's coming to him.
Well, I'm sorry 1 sald it If it's going
0 spoll your Christmas. You're a good
Kid, you are, ang It | was rich you'd
kel some swell remembrance from me.
As It is, I'm right here where you can
See me every day, and the way it looks
we'll both be here a long time. Right
next, sirl™
The Old Tinder Box.
It is soarcely a century ARO since a
tinderbox was an essential part of the
equipment of every home, but so sud
denly and completely did it become ob.
solete and disappear from the .ist of
necessary things hat even to men In
middie life its name is redolent of an
tiquity, and few could, with confidence,
Kive an account of its shape or use.
Freed From Bondage.
Gardener—l aln going to leave, sir. 1
can’t stand the missus!
Employer--Too strict, iy she”
Gardener—Yes, sir. _ She keeps forget.
ting that 1 can ’ljn any time, and
bosses me about as It I was you!
~ e
_All Star Recipes
Bt SR - AOR |
The following recipes have been tested and approved by Good
Housekeeping Institute, conducted by GOOD HOUSEKEEPING,
and are republished here by special arrangement with that publi
cation, the Nation’s Greatest Home Magazine.
All measurements are leve!, stand
ard hal-pint measuring cups, table
#poons, and teaspoons being used.
Sixteen level teblespoonfuls equal a
half pint. Quantities are sufficient
for six persons unless otherwise
stated. Flour is sifted once before
measuring.
Apple Dumplings.
Four apples, 2 cupfuls sugar, milk,
butter, cinnamon and rich biscuit
dough.
Make a rich biscuit dough of two
cupfuls of flour, four teaspoonfuls
baking powder, one teaspoonful salt,
and four tablespoonfuls lard, and
milk to make a dough as soft as can
be handled comfortably (about three
quarters cupful will be needed). Roll
out thin like piecrust and cut into, six
equal sections. Have ready four ap
ples peeled and cut in elghths: heap
about six pieces of apple on each sec
tlon of biscuit dough, add a small
plece of butter, cinnamon and a cup
ful of sugar divided equally between
the six. Gather the dough up around,
pinching together at the top. Place
In deep daking pan: pour over them
a pint of bolling water in which a
cupful of sugar, a heaping teaspoon -
ful of butter and one-fourth tea
spoonful of cinnamon have been
stirred. Bake about forty-five min
utes in a hot oven, covering them at
the last if they get too brown. To
be eaten either hot or cold, and pre
ferably with cream.
Boston Cake.
One cupful sugar, 1-2 cupful bute
ter, 2 eggs, 1 cupful flour, 1.4 tea
spoonful salt, 1 teaspoonful baking
powder, 1-3 cupful cornstarch, 1-2
cupful milk, 1 teaspoonful vanilla.
Cream together the sugar and but
ter, break into this one egg, and beat.
Sift the flour three times, the last
time adding the salt, baking powder
and cornstarch. Add a little of this
to the first mixture, stir in the second
egg and the milk, then the remaining
flour and the vanilla. Bake in a
moderate (275 degree Fahrenheit)
oven, in a loaf or in two layers, If
the layers are used, put together with
chocolate frosting and cream filling.
Marshmallow Frosting.
One and one-half cupfuls granu
lated sugar: whites of 2 ocg benten
stiff; 1.4 pound marshmaliows, .1-2
ouflll water.
sugar and water until it will
form a soft ball. Remove from fire
and add marshmallows cut in pleces,
and beat into the stiffly bcnton'
whites of the eggs. Beat until right
consistency to spread, and place be
tween the layers and on top.
Fig Muffins.
Two and one-half cupfuls bread
flour, 1 tablespoonful salt, 4 tea
spoonfuls baking powder, 1.8 tea
spoonful soda, 1 cupful cooked figs
and juice, 1-2 cupful milk, 3 üble~‘
spoonfuls melted shortening, 1 egs,
beaten, |
Mix Ingredients together in order.
given and beat well. Put Into hl--;
ing-hot muffin pans and bake from
twenty-five to thirty minutes in a
moderate oven, starting at 375 de
grees Fahrenheit, then decreasing the
heat, |
"""W\MMMW
! Do You Know ’
The sky of Italy is noted for its clear
ness. The blue is deeper, not because
the dust there is finer than in the
northern countries, but because in the
countries of the North, due to the
greater coolness of the air, the vapor
more readily condenses upon the dust
particles. The dust particles thus be
coma larger and consequently not so es.
fective In turning back the blue rays
alone, but others are also reflected and
A grayish effect is produced. In a sin
gle location the dlue of the sky may
appear bluer at one time than another.
The sky is oftentimes sald to be very
blue when some white cumulous clouds
are outlined against it. The sky is then
A deep blue by contract with the bril
llant white. After a shower, when the
lower stratum of air is washed of its
coarse dust particles, a deeper and purer
blue is the result,
| e 9
~ The flesh of the forequarters of the
beaver has something of the favor of
beef, while that of the hindquarters has
a fishy taste,
; e 9 »
The Missouri Jabor unions have 110,-
412 members.
‘e» 2 |
~ There are about 1,300 gas plants in
this country.
\-- . ‘
Sorghum grain is a valuable poultry
foed. ‘
. - .
United States vearly imports 508,000
‘birds. +
Polly Found the Way
HEN Caledb Johnson, of the
W Johnson Dry Goods Store.l
came home for dinner, he
was plainly out of sorts. ‘
“That smart Alex that bought out
the Dawson’s has a half page ad in
the Tfmes this week,” he growled.
“Well, daddy, is that a crime?”
asked Polly, cheerfully, as she helped
him to his favorite piece of chicken.
This question elicited scorn too
deep for words, so he only scowled at
pretty Polly. |
After a moment he resumed: “And
the young upstart has his window all
filled with *jimcracks and folderoys—
he’s trying to ape Chicago. He will.
be running a delivery wagon next.”
“How delightful,” chirruped Polly,
“Daleville has snoozed along here so
long I'm glad something is going to
waken us up.” |
“Snoozed on,” exploded her father,i
“Snoozed on, have I,” reducing her
generalties to a personal affair.
“Well, I haven't neglected to ‘snooze’
out your bread and butter pretty‘
freely, at any rate.” :
“Yes, 1 know, daddy, dear, and
plenty of it, and all of the best quality
besides. But now that you have our
pantry stocked with more than
enough to last our natural lives, and
‘have had everything your own way
for more than thirty years, why fly
into a rage because someone else
comes along and wants to try his
hand in the bread and butter busi
ness. Besides, you have always said
it was your dream to retire, and raise
chickens and bees; so why don't you
do it?”
“And give up to that college jacka
nape ? Never, 1 would like to retire
—in fact, T had made up my mind
to do ro this year, but to retire from
business i® altogether different from
being run out, let me tell you. 1
don’t want t 5 be run out. I've good
fighting blood in me yet if I have
‘snoozed’ for thirty years, and Joe
Lacy will find it out, too.” '
“Joe Lacy!” exclaimed Polly. “Is
that who has bought out' the Daw
son's? Why Joe Lacy was fullback
on the university football team last
year.” |
“Fullback, was he. Well he is a
full-cheek now, and no mistake,” as
serted her father.
| “Oh, dear,” said Mrs. Johnson a
moment later, as she and Polly
watched the irate merchant going
with his long strides back to the
‘ltore. “I'm afraid now your pa will
get contrary and not close out his
store as he promised me he would.”
'And she sighed, for the chickens and
‘bees had alluring prospects for her,
The next day as Polly was going
down the street she came face to face
with Joe Lacy. “Why Miss Johnson,”
he sald, in responce to her greeting.
“I had no idea I'd have the pleasure
of meeting vou in Daleville.”
‘ “Nothing more natural” she
laughed. I'm the daughter of Mr.
‘Calob Johnson, and I hear hostilities
ihave begun between vou and dear old
dad.”
[ “I'm sorry, Miss Johnson—it is en
tirely unintentional on my part I as
sure you. 1 honestly believed there
was room in Daleville for me, or I
never should have come.”
“And so there is,” she said. “Don’t
take Daddy too seriously, for he
doesn’'t do that himself.”
Lacy gazed after her a moment,
when she passed. “I always admired
Miss Johneon,” he thought, “but I
never noticed before how pretty she
is. By George, I believe she is the
prettiest girl I ever saw in my lfe.
And so she is Caleb Johnson's daugh
ter, 1 wish the old gentleman
wasn't 80 pig-headed,” and he looked
very sober.
And Polly was thinking, “I never
knew until today that Joe Lacy was
80 handsome. He looks llke a Greek
god—or, at least, as I suppose a
Greek god would look if he should
come to Daleville and engage in the
dry goods trade.
That evening Mr. Johnson said, ac
cusingly, “1 saw you talking to that
smart Aleck today, Polly.”
“If you mean Mr. Lacy, yes, Dad
dy,” she replied, sweetly, ‘and it
wasn't the first time, either. I knew
him iln_ college; you remember. He
was considered a gentleman there.”
“Well, gentleman or not, it's to be
Anecdotes of the Famous |
Mr. Roosevelt tells the following: ‘
A schoolboy was asked:
“Who was the first man?”’
“George Washington,” he replied.
““Nonsense,”” sald the teacher. “What
makes you say that?" |
“Because,” replied the boy, repeating
& well-known quotation, “He was ‘hru‘
In war, first In peace, and first In the
hearts of his countrymen.'*™ |
“That may be,”" commented the teach
or, “but mnevertheless Adam was the
first man.” |
“Oh,” retorted the boy, with fine con
tempt, “if you are talking about for-.
A > %
Mark Hambourg, the planist, says that
on one occasion, at a samall place where
he was due to appear, he inquired
where he could hire a plano, and found
that the only one avallable was an an
clent-looking instrument in a small
show. He asked ibe eould borrow it
the last time you have anything to
do with him,” he fairly shouted. ‘Do
you hear.”
~ “Yes, I hear, Daddy.
~ “Have some of this pudding, Dad
dy—it’s delicious, I made it myself
Take plenty of dressing and you will
think it's the best thing you ever
itutad." And Mr, Johnson turned his
attention duly to the dessert.
‘ At a plenic next week Mr, Lacy
‘sought Polly and said, “Let's sit hers
on the log, Miss Johnson, and talk
of Auld Lang Syne.” And Polly said
demurely, “I am not allowed to tain
‘to you, Mr. Lacy.” But she seated
herself, nevertheless.
| “Oh,” he exclaimed, “is it as bad
as that?” and he looked very grave
“I'm so sorry, Miss Johnson. Whai
can we do? If he just wasn’t your
father.”
- And for the life of him he could
not prevent a little tenderness from
creeping into his voice.
Polly noted this and blushed.
“If I could sell out,” he continued.
“I would go to—to Jericho. Your
father is selling goods S 0 low that
it fs folly for me to compete. He has
his farm and bank stock back of him.
but I have nothing. Ruin stares me
in the face.”
- “No, it doesn't,” Polly declared
“Don’t be discouraged. There will be
a way out, I just know. Wait and
see.”
~ ;The winter dragged on, but the
finences of Mr. Joseph Lacy did no:
improve. Mr. Johnson continued to
sell goods so low that customers
came from far and near, while Lac)
iwul left with little trade.
“Run me out, will he?” chuckled
Mr. Johnson. “Well, I guess not. I'm
inot the running kind.”
‘ “Joe Lacy never tried to run you
out, Daddy,” protested Polly, hotly
“This is a free country—he had
right to come and give you fair play
‘and he expected fair play from you in
return. You are hurting yourself and
ruining him.”
“But T won't be run out,” he re
peated, doggedly,
| “It's no use. I can’'t hold on any
longer,” said Joe one evening as they
sat together at her aunt’'s—where, by
‘the way, they met quite frequently of
late. “I'm a bankrupt. There is no
‘way out, Polly,” he concluded dis
mally, and the caress in his tones as
he pronounced "her name showed
plainly enough the length to which
his feelings for Polly had gone.
“But there is a way, Joe,” she said,
rather faintly.
He was brushing off imaginary
specks from his sleeve. “I don't see
the way Polly—you are an astute lit
tle body-—perhaps you will show me
how to find it.”
“There is a way,” she repeated
softly, “only—only you are so stupid
you won't see it.” and she blushed
a rosy red.
He looked up quickly, and she cast
her eyes down.
“Polly, Polly,” he exclaimed in rap
ture. “You don't mean it, dear. Is
there hope for me in spite of yvour
father's opposition?” And he took
both her hands in his own.
“Daddy’s heart is softer than you
think, Joe,” she said. “I'm his only
child and he will not oppose you
longer when he finds vour interests
and my own are the same.”
That evening Polly stole up quietly
behind her father and put both arms
around his neck. “Daddy,” she said,
“you are anxious to get out of this
mess. You know you are too stub
born to give up in the face of opposi
tion. You want to get out of it as
badly as Joe does. You say you
won't be run out, so how would you
like to give up the business—to, well,
say your son-in-law, Joe Lacy?”
“What! What's that, Polly?’ he
roared. Then he jumped from his
chair and looked at her to see if she
had suddenly taken leave of her
sense. One glance at the radiant
face was enough.
“Well, I'' be Jiggered,” he ex
claimed. He walked to the rack, took
down his hat and started for the door.
with his hand on thc knob, he turned
and there was a twinkle in his eye
as he sald, “I'm going out mow and
engage Bill Smith to make me a lot
of bee hives; and I want to Hunt up
4 nice little place where I can live in
peace. Good-night!”
for his performance.
! “You could not play on it, leastways,
not ae it is,” replieq the owner, “for it's
full of books. Jim,"” he bawled, “where
}ln the inside of this piano?”
|, And Jim's volce from upstairs replied:
"'Mn't it out in .the.n:deu?"
One winter night an old hawker on
tered the bar of the Ol Bell Tavern,
Fleet street, and offered the customera
sets of three studs f@m penny. Phi!
May said to him:
“You are just the man I want!"
He took only ome stud, and gave the
hawker a five-shilling plece. The bar
mald sald to Phil May:
T belleve, Phll, you would give yous
coat to the first beggar who asked for
nr
“Well, miss.”” replied the artist, “there
would be no harm In that! St. Martin
gave his coat 10 & beggar, and he was
a better man than Phil May. lam o
& wiaked minnasi” RS