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Half the Difficulty of Fighting Any Severe Battle or Accomplishing Any Hard Task Vanishes When a Man Feels He Has Comrades ax rris Side
e ———— L — e ettt et e AM“__—__—_———_——__—_\
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+ThE GEORGIANS MAGAZINE PAGE——
‘Cheating Cheaters’
Novelized Frojfllefii(iafiway Success. %
Ry JANE McLEAN.
(Novelized from the play by Max
Marcin, produced by A. H. Woods,
and now running at the Eitinge
Theater, New York, Copyright, 1916,
International News Service.)
HE Palmers listened, entranced.
T And Ruth, with a smile of
satisfaction, slipped off the
diamond collar and returned it to
‘ts case.
“What was that, Professor?” sald
Mrs., Palmer as the music ended. *1
don’t think I have ever heard It be
fore.”
“Yes, it's a catchy tune,” sald
Grace, lightly, “Won't you play it
for us again?”’
“Yos,” sald Ruth; *"and play it
louder.”
Tony acquiesced, and once more
played the thing through, this time
very much louder,
Ruth nodded approvingly as she
swung around from the plano at
the finish. Steve had the signal and
no doubt would act Immediately.
Bhe did not wish that the others
would leave her alone to take her
music lesson.
At that moment Phil, the butler,
appeared In the doorway, and Ruth's
heart skipped a beat. Could this be
Steve already?
"A gentleman to see you sir” said
the butler to Tom.
Tom took the oard and remd the
name aloud. “Mr. Morton T. Han
ley, Carnegie Hero Foundation. What
does he want to see me about? All
right, Phil; ask him to come in.”
The stranger Phil admitted entered
the room the next moment, and com-
Ing toward Tom offered his hand cor
dlally,
A Plausible Visit,
I am very glad to meet you, sr,”
he began, “especially under the ofr
cumstances that brings me here”
Tom bowed, and having made the
necessary introductions waited for
the man to state his business. Ruth
was the last one to be Introduced,
and as Tom murmured Miss Brock
ton the man turned toward her inter.
estedly,
“Miss Ruth Brockton?™ he queried,
For & moment Ruth's heart almost
stopped. SBuppose this man happened
to be a detective under Ferris. He
might even be Ferris himself. What
On earth could she do? But the
stranger went on speaking.
“Your name is on my list,” he said,
smiling pleasantly. “I was about to
motor over to your house, Miss
Brockton. We are gathering the tes
timony of the eyewitnesses to Mr,
Palmer's valorous conduct on the 00-
casion of the sinking of the passenger
Steamer Termania with a view of
Awarding a first prize, a gold medal,
‘or exceptional herolsm.”
“You're not going to pin a Car
uegle hero medal on me?” protested
Tom.
“Honestly, 1 don't deserve anything
like that"
Ruth was lstening carefully to
Have You Met Her?
By ANNE LISLE.
EN she was still quite young
VU Allce May Wright learned that
People would forgive her any
thing If she turned the radiance of her
long-lashed brown eyes full upon them
mmmum«nm with »
battery of up-curved lips dimpled at the
sorners by a smile.
Alles May had no intention of being
& elfieh girl or of cheating at the game
of e But 1t was 8o easy to save her
anergy and just smile. It always brought
results. Nobody ever refused Allce May
w.. if she smiled when she asked
for
80 she amiled her way through sehoo!
and college and out into the world,
which seemed ready to Kive her a living
n return for up-curied lashes and up
eurved lips and sashing dimples. It
Was s 0 much easier to give the world
& smile than an honest effort.
Allce May had real ability—a olever
Brain, the trick of expressing herself
well, and an Imaginative nature which
thought up ‘charming little fairy table
plots of gossamer lightness. Allce May
found that by carrying her stories to
editorial sanctums she got a reading for
them, and that now and then one crept
into print. She devoted a good deal
more time to amiling editors into a re
ceptive mood than to setting herself the
task of frowning contemplation of her
plots and the way she was developing
them.
A Winning Smile.
Alice May's amile got her landlord
to “shave the rent a bit" when she took
& little apartment which she ocould iUI
afford, but which the encouraging atti.
tude of the editor of Crandall's made her
feel she could risk. She smiled herself
oul of debt and Into the good graces of
& soclal cirele with which she could not
Afford to keep up, and then she smiled
herself into the heart of its most eligl
bie bachelor and became Mrs. Archibald
Whitmore,
It did not seem quite fair to the other
Eitls who knew her-—that without any
more exertion than fickering a smile
Scross her face Alice May got all the
Prizes in life. There were jemiousy and
heart-burnings gulore, and people with
& strong sense of rightecusness insisted
that things would not Aways go s
Sothly for Allse May Whitmers
'flr 10 reason that fortune could
everything that was taking place,
IHerc was a chance for her to do
something for Tom Palmer that might
In a sense atone for the grave In-
Justice she .intended to perform that
night.
“Don’t let him underestimate * ‘'m
self, Mr. Hanley,” she interrupted,
with shining eyes.”
| “Why, during that panic after the
frightful explosion, In the wild rush
for the lifeboats, what chance would
the women and children have had but
for him? With even the crew fighting
to save themselves, he stood against
the rall, pistol in hand, holding back
the mob, and when the last boat was
launched we saw him, master of the
situation, resigning his own seat to
‘u little boy who had been separatsd
from his mother, When the ship went
down, If It hadn't been that the sea
was calm, and we saw him clinging
to a log, he, too, would have been
lost.”
It was a tender little testimony told
with all the fervor of a girlish heart.
It told Tom Palmer more than all her
careless words and actions, that she
cared, but for once Ruth was deter
mined to tell the truth.
“Miss Brockton,” sald Hanley, en
thusiastically, “your statement com
pletes our record of the disaster, If
you will be s good as to write out
what you have just sald, attest it be
fore a notary and mall it to me, the
medal will be quickly awarded, Oh,
by the way, Mr. Palmer,” turning to
Tom, “some day, when you get a
chance, you must visit our office and
examine the tributes of your fellow
passengers.
“Why, there are statements from
some of the most prominent people
of the country. There's one from Mr.
Carnegle's personal physiclan, and
one from Mr, Pearson, the president
of the Union Naticnal Bank, But the
clearest account of all we recelved
from a detective, Ferris.”
Ferris on the Trail,
Ruth started violently. Once more
the deadly suspiclon flashed across
her mind that this man’s visit boded
no good for her. She wondered If she
had sald too much before; but, no,
that had been personal and a tribute
to Tom.
“Ferris, Ferris? sald Tom, wrin.
kling his forehead. “I don't recall the
name on the passenger list. Do you,
mother 7
“He may have traveled Incognito,’
offered Hanley; “detectives often do,
especially when they're after some
body."
Tony gave a gasp at this, and Ruth
put In hastily to cover It:
“Have you seen Mr. Ferris, Mr,
Hanley? ls he In the city?
“Well, I don't know. 1 called at his
office this morning. One of his as
sistants told me that Mr. Ferrls was
after an extremely clever gang of
criminals, against whom he has %oen
gathering evidence for the past five
months. He expects to land them all
by the end of the week.”
(To Be Concluded Tomerrow.)
not always favor her. Her husband
would just have to lose his money or
her children sicken and dle, or some
thing go wrong. You oould not smile
yourself hrough the world and Into the
§OOI graces of Fate.
‘ It wasn't possible that Life would |
continue to shower Its prizes Into the.
lap of & woman who did nothing to de
!um them-—who merely looked up and
amiled.
But Allce May's life went on serene
ly—she flashed her smile and fortune
smileq back. Ana everybody sald it
wasn't fair, and cynles smiled wisely,
And a few sensitive souls felt &n ache of
bitterness In their hearts for others
who deserved yo much more than Allce
May and got 8o much less,
Yet Alloe May went on smiling. And
robody knew that the smile covered
over an ache of abnegation. Allce May
had wanted to write good stories—
strong. wonderful, psychological things
that the world would read and be bet
ter for reading. And nature had
ecquipped her to do Auffy little falry
tales. She could only smile when she
wanted to bring tears v the heart of
humanity,
Alice May had longed to stay at home
in her little village ANd marry a strug
sling young drug clerk, who might, if
he were lucky, be taken into partner
ship by the village apothecary by the
time he was 40. She hadn't the courage
for that, so she had to smile to cover
the longing In her own soul.
Archle Whitmore boreg Alice May to
distraction—but all her smiling hadn't
pufficed to produce any honorable means
of paying tallor bills and butchers and
bakers and rent. 8o Alice May smiled
herself Into an eligible match the while
her heart ached with longing for some
thing else.
Alice May's children adored their
stern, hard-working father ang thought
their mother a delicate, Dresden china
lady, to be cuddled but not confided
’ln. She smiled at that, teo,
Fortunately the Alice Mays of life are
rare. But the next time you envy a
celebrated dancer who marries her mil
llonaire admirer or sneeringly comment
Oh & cabaret singer who slopes with an
other woman's husband, remember that
she may be 100 weak to take what
she wants from life and has to accept
the cheap substitutes for happiness that
llbo 't resist.
nlrm met Allce May Wrightt
i
What Ho! If You Would Skating Go.
Reprinted by permission of Harper’s Bazar, the only Magazine of
Fashion, Fiction and Society for the woman who knows, ‘
published continuously for over fifty years.
Here is a graceful skating suit cut
on most delightful lines. Of hunters
green jersey cloth, in combination
with kolinsky fur, the effect is very
jcharmlna. Moreover, the general out
utw typifies the season’s long, sweep
;Mfl style. The tasseled cap adds a de
ic(dcdly smart note to the whole.
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[/I-)
By WILLIAM F. KIRK,
6 GOT a stack of Christmas cards
l to send out, George,” sald the
Manicure Lady. “That's my
system this year—nothing but cards to
my friends—cards and regards.”
“I ain't even going to send out cards,”
sald the Head Barber. “I'm going to
Kot a few little things for up home, but
If my friends won't be my friends
without reminders, I stand to lose 'em
all”
“I think that there Yuletide spirit is
ovendid,” declared the Manicure Lady.|
“l ain't had & tip this week. Even my
best customers Is tightening up on nu.‘
and some of them must be fixing thelr
nalls up home, because they ain't
shown lately. Joe Blow ain't been In
for two weeks, and | know he ain't.
sick, because 1 seen him the other day
talking to a movie actor, and he looked
like the welterweight champlon. You
gotta show me, George, about all this
prosperity that there war has fetched
us.”
“It's better, though,” sald the Head
Barber, “to be getting along here the
WAY we are than to be over in that
Jam. 1 seen a moving plcture last night
of a battle over there, and believe me,
1 don't want to be part of no such do-
Ings. There was gents dropping ov
every side.”
“Lat's not thing about It sald the
Manicure lady. “I'd rather keep on
talking about Christmas. Father was
saying last night that he Is going to
loosen up considerable, but that's his
way. He can't ever figure on ‘being
rieh, George, with that big heart of
his. If everybody was like father there
wouldn't be no bread line
“And brother Wiifred is there with
the big heart, too, only he ain't there
with the bankroll to back It up. He
got twenty last week for some Christ
mas poems to go on postal cards, but
he diin't have the twenty that many
minutes, ang he don't know where he
is Koing to get any more orders on ac-
Count of the season being late 1 think
;
%
. 2
this verse he wrote for a cand 1s kind of
cute, don't you George? Listen:
“A merry Christmas I wish to you,
And all your relatives as well,
And hope that when the day s through
~ You will have presents very swell.
I'd like to give you one myself,
But lately I ain't got no pelt.”
"That ain’t bad,” sald the Head Bar
ber. “If 1 could dope out a gift like
lthgt I'q seng It to a lot of my cus
tomers. Maybe some of them 'd come
dcross with what they owe me.’
"Gee, that's a flerce Christmas
speech!” exclalmed the Manicure Lady.
“l wonder what'y getting Into you,
‘(}oorro. If the horses was running now
I would think it was that”
} “It aln't that,” sald the Head Bar
ber. “and 1 know that ain't a nice hol
iday splel, but when prices is where
they are a fellow can't help kind of
yearning for what's coming to mm.l
Well, I'm sorry 1 sald it if it's going
to spoll your Christmas. You're a good
Kid, vou are, ang If 1 was rich you'd
gct some swell remembrance from me.
As It Is, I'm right here where you can
f6e me every day, and the way it looks
we'll both be here a long time. Right
next, sir!™ |
————— |
The Old Tinder Box.
It Is scarcely a century ago since a
tinderbox was an essential part of the
equipment of every home, but %0 sud
denly and completely did 1t become ob.
solete and disappear from the Jdst of
Necessary things “at even to men In
middle life its name is redolent of an
tiquity, and few could, with confidence,
give an Account of Its shape or use.
——————————————
Freed From
Gardener—| am Mm sir. 1
CAn’t stand the missus!
Employer—Too strict, is she?
Gardener—Yes, sir. She keeps forget.
ting that 1 can Jeave any time, and
bosses me about fust as If | was you!
Al Star Recipes |
MMMWWM'W
The following recipes have been tested and approved by Good
Housekeeping Institute, conducted by GOOD HOUSEKEEPING,
and are republished here by special arrangement with that publi
cation, the Nation’s Greatest Home Magazine.
All measurements are level, stand
ard half-pint measuring cups, table
spoons, and teaspoons being used.
Sixteen level téblespoonfuls equal a
half pint. Quantities are sufficient
for six persons unless otherwise
stated. Flour is sifted once before
measuring.
, dstne
Apple Dumplings.
Four apples, 2 cupfuls sugar, milk,
butter, cinnamon and rich _ biscuit
dough. .
| Make a rich biscuit dough of two
‘eupfull of flour, four teaspoonfuls
baking powder, one teaspoonful salt,
‘and four üblupoonf.:l.l' lard, and
milk to make a dough as soft as can
be handled comfortably (about three
quarters cupful will be needed). Roll
out thin like plecrust and cut into six
equal sections. Have ready four ap
ples peeled and cut in eighths; heap
about six pleces of apple on each sec
tion of biscuit dough, add a small
plece of butter, cinnamon and a cup
ful of sugar divided equally between
the six. Gather the dough up around,
pinching together at the top. Place
in deep baking pan: pour over them
a pint of bolling water in which a
cupful of sugar, a heaping teaspoon
ful of butter and one-fourth tea
spoonful of cinnamon have been
stirred. Bake about forty-five min
utes in a hot oven, covering them at
the last if they get too brown. To
be eaten elther hot or cold, and pre
ferably with cream.
Boston Cake.
One cupful sugar, 1-2 cupful but
ter, 2 eggs, 1 cupful flour, 1-4 tea
spoonful salt, 1 teaspoonfu! bckln’
powder, 1-3 cupful cornstarch, 1-
cupful milk, 1 teaspoonfu! vanilla.
Cream together the sugar and but
ter, break into this one egg, and beat,
Sift the flour three times, the last
time adding the salt, baking powder
and cornstarch. Add a little of this
to the first mixture, stir in the second
egg and the milk, then the remalining
flour and the vanilla. Bake In a
moderate (375 degree Fahrenheit)
oven, In a loaf or In twa lavers. If
the layers are used, put together with
chocolate frosting and cream flling.
Marshmallow Frosting.
One and one-half cupfuls granu.
lated sugar; whites of 2 eggs beaten
stift; 1-4 pound marshmallows, 1.2
cuml water,
1 sugar and water until it will
form a soft bail. Remove from fire
and add marshmallows cut in pleces,
Here i 8 a fascinating skating cos
tume, designed by Bulloz. As bl«e'
and gray are the season’s faaht'onable‘
color combinations, this suit of aap~‘
phire blue velvet with gray fur mceu;
the deinand of the ultra parucular‘
and charms by its simplicity end
smartness. ‘
and beat into the stiffly beaten
whites of the eggs. Beat until right
consistency to spread, and place be
tween the layers and on top.
Fig Muffine.
Two and one-half cupfuls bread
flour, 1 tablespoonful salt, 4 tea
‘spoonfuls baking powder, 1.8 tea
spoonful soda, 1 cupful cooked figs
and juice, 1-2 cupful milk, 3 table
spoonfuls melted shortening, 1 egg,
b”w"'l gredients together In order
Mix iln
given and beat well. Put into hiss
ing-hot muffin pans and bake from
twenty-five to thirty minutes in a
moderate oven, starting at 375 de
grees Fahrenheit, then decreasing the
heat. 1
MWW
{ Do You Know ’
The sky of Italy is noted for ity clear
ness. The blue is deeper, not because
the dust there is finer than in the
northern countries, but because in the
countries of the North, due to the
greater coolness of the air, the vapor
more readily condenses upon the dust
particles. The dust particles thus be
come larger and consequently not so es.
fective in turning back the blue rays
alone, but others are also reflected and
4 grayish effect Is produced. In a sin
gle location the blue of the sky may
aAppear bluer at one time than another,
The sky Is oftentimes said to be very
blue when some white cumulous clouds
are outlined against it. The sky Is then
a deep blue by contract with the bril-
Hant white. After a shower, when the
lower stratum of air is washed of Ita
coarse dust particles, a deeper and purer
blue is the resuit, |
PN &
The flesh of the forequarters of the
beaver has something of the flavor of
beef, while that of the hindquarters has
a fishy taste. |
-0 N |
The Missour! labor unions have llfioi
412 members. |
.o |
There are about 1,300 gas plants in
this country. |
» -9 B
Sorghum grain Is & valuable mtry‘
S B 8
United States yearly lnm 500,000
birds.
Polly Found the Way
HEN Caleb Johnson, of the
W Johnson Dry Goods Store,
came home for dinner, he
was plainly out of sorts.
“That smart Alex that bought out
the Dawson’'s has a half page ad in
the Times this week,” he growled.
“Well, daddy, is that a crime?”
asked Polly, cheerfully, as she helped
him to his favorite piece of chicken.
This question elicited scorn too
deep for words, so he only scowled at
pretty Polly.
After a moment he resumed: “And
the young upstart has his window all
filled with jimcracks and folderoys—
he's trying to ape Chicago. He will
be running a delivery wagon next.”
“How delightful,” chirruped Polly,
“Daleville has snoozed along here so
long I'm glad something is going to
waken us up.”
“Snoozed on,” exploded her father,
“Snoozed on, have 1,” reducing her
generalties to a personal affair,
“Well, I haven’t neglected to ‘snooze’
out your bread and butter pretty
freely, at any rate.,”
“Yes, I know, daddy, dear, and
plenty of it, and all of the best quality
besides. But now that you have our
pantry stocked with more than
enough to last our natural lives, and
have had everything your own way
for more than thirty years, why fly
into a rage because someone else
comes along and wants to try his
hand in the bread and butter busi
ness. Besldes, you have always sald
it was your dream to retire, and raise
chickens and bees; so why don’t you
do it
“And give up to that college jacka
nape ? Never, I would like to retire
—ln fact, T had made up my mind
to do ro this year, but to retire from
business is altogether different from
being run out, let me tell you. 1
don't want to be run out. Tl've good
fighting blood In me yet if I have
‘snoozed’ for thirty years, and Joe
Lacy will find it out, too.”
“Joe Lacy!"” exclalmed Polly., *ls
that who has bought out the Daw
son's? Why Joe Lacy was fullback
on the university football team last
year.”
“Fullback, was he. Well he is a
full-cheek now, and no mistake,” as
serted her father.
“Oh, dear,” sald Mrs. Johnson a
moment later, as she and Polly
watched the irate merchant going
with his long strides back to the
store, “I'm afraid now your pa will
get contrary and not close out his
store as he promised me he would.”
And she sighed, for the chickens and
bees had alluring prospects for her,
The next day as Polly was going
down the street she came face to face
with Joe Lacy. “Why Miss Johnson,”
he sald, In responce to her greeting.
“I had no idea I'd have the pleasure
of meeting you in Daleville.”
“Nothing more natural,” she
laughed. I'm the daughter of Mr.
Caleb Johnson, and I hear hostilities
have begun between you and dear old
dad.”
- “I'm sorry, Miss Johnson—it is en
‘tirely unintentional on my part I as
sure you. I honestly believed there
'was room in Daleville for me, or I
never should have come.”
“And so there is,” she said. “Don't
take Daddy too seriously, for he
doesn’t do that himself.” ‘
Lacy gazed after her a moment,
when she passed. "1 always admired
Miss Johnson,” he thought, “but 1
never noticed before how pretty she
{s. By George, I believe she is the!
prettiest girl I ever saw in my life,
And so she is Caleb Johnson's daugh
ter. I wish the old gentleman
wasn’t so pig-headed,” and he looked
very sober.
And Polly was thinking, “T never
knew until today that Joe Lacy was
80 handsome. He looks like a Greek .
god—or, at least, as I suppose a
Greek gol¢ would look if he should
come to Daleville and engage In the
dry mgoods trade.
That evening Mr. Johnson said, ac
cusingly, “1 saw you talking to that
smart Aleck today, Polly.”
“If you mean Mr. Lacy, yes, Dad
dy,” she replied, sweetly, ‘and f{t
wasn't the first time, either. I knew
him in college; you remember, He
was considered a gentleman there.”
“Well, gentleman or not, it's to be
Anecdotes of the Famous
Mr. Roosevelt tells the following:
A schoolboy was asked: 1
“Who was the first man? |
“George Washington,” he replied,
“Nonsense,” sald the teacher. “What
makes you say that?™ |
“Because,” replied the boy, repeating
& well-known quotation, “He was ‘First
In war, first In peace, and first in the
hearts of his countrymen.'™ |
“That may be,” commented the teach.
er, “but nevertheless Adam was the
first man.” |
“Oh,"” retorted the boy, with fine con
tempt, “if you are talking about for-|
eigners.” ‘
. 0
l Mark Hambourg, the planist, says that
‘on one occasion, at a small place where
he was due to appear, he inquired
'wnm he could hire a plano, and found
that the only one avallable was an an
clent-looking Instrument in a small
show. He asked K B sould borrew it
the last time you have anything g
do with him,” he fairly shouted, Dy
you hear.”
“Yes, I hear, Daddy.
“Have some of this pudding, Dnd.
dy—it's delicious. I made it myselt,
Take plenty of dressing and you wiy
think it's the best thing YOU eyer
tasted.” And Mr. Johnson turned hiy
attention duly to the dessert.
At a plcnic next week Mr, Lacy
sought Polly and said, “Let's sit hers
on the log, Miss Johnson, and talk
of Auld Lang Syne.” And Polly saiq
demurely, “I am not allowed to taix
to you, Mr. Lacy.” But she seated
herself, nevertheless.
“Oh,” he exclaimed, “1s it as hag
as that?” and he looked Very grays
“‘l'm so sorry, Miss Johnson, What
can we do? If he just wasn't your
father.,”
And for the life of him he could
not prevent a little tenderness from
creeping into his voice.
Polly noted this and blushed.
| “If I could sell out,” he continued,
*“I would go to—to Jericho. Your
father is selling goods so low that
it is folly for me to compete. He has
his farm and bank stock back of him,
but I have nothing. Ruin stares me
in the face.”
~ “No, it doesmt” Polly declared.
“Don’t be discouraged. There will be
a way out, I just know. Wait and
see.”
~ The winter dragged on, but the'
finances of Mr. Joseph Lacy did not
Improve. Mr. Johnson continued to
sell goods so low that customers
came from far and near, while Lacy
iwu left with little trade.
. “Run me out, will he?’ chuckled
%Mr. Johnson. “Well, I guess not. I'm
not the running kind.”
‘ “Joe Lacy never tried to run you
out, Daddy,” protested Polly, hotly.
“This is a free country—he had a
\rlght to come and give you fair play,
}a.nd he expected fair play from you in
return. You are hurting yourself and
ruining him.”
“But I won't be run out,” he re
peated, doggedly, ‘
‘ “It's no use. I can't hold on any
longer,” said Joe one evening as they
sat together at her aunt's—where, by
‘the way, they met quite frequently of
late. “I'm a bankrupt. There is no
way out, Polly,” he concluded dis
mally, and the caress in his tones as
he pronounced her name showed
plainly enough the length te which
his feelings for Polly had gone.
“But there is a way, Joe,” she sald,
rather faintly,
He was brushing off imaginary
specks from his sleeve. “I don’t ses
the way Polly—you are an astute lit
tle body—perhaps you will show me
‘how to find it.”
~ “There is a way,” she repeated
softly, “only—only you are so stupid
‘you won't see it,” and she blushed
a rosy red.
He looked up quickly, and she cast
her eyes down.
“Polly, Polly,” he exclaimed in rap
ture. “You don't mean it, dear. is
lthm hope for me in spite of your
father’s opposition?” And he took
both her hands in his own.
“Daddy’s heart is softer than yonu
think, Joe,” she said. “I'm his only
child and he will not oppose you
longer when he finds your Interests
and my own are the same.”
That evening Polly stole up quletly
behind her father and put both arms
around his neck. “Daddy.,” she said,
“you are anxious to get out of this
mess. You know you are too stub
born to give up in the face of opposi
tion. You want to get out of it as
badly as Joe does. You say you
won't be run out, so how would you
llks to give up the business—to, well,
Say your son-in-law, Joe Lacy?
“What! What's that, Polly?" he
roared. Then he jumped from his
chalr and looked at her to see if she
had suddenly taken leave of her
sense. One glance at the radlant
face was enough,
Well, 'l » Niggered,” he ex
claimed. He walked to the rack, took
down his hat and started for the door.
with his hand on the knob, he turnad
and there was a twinkle in his eye
as he sald, “I'm going out now and
engage Bill Smith to make me a lot
of bee hives; ana I want to hunt up
a nice little place where I can live in
peace. Good-night!”
for his performance.
“You eould not play on It, leastwars,
not as It Is,” replieq the owner “for it's
full of books. Jim,” he bawled, “whers
is the Inside of this plano?”
And Jim's volee from upstairs replied:
“Aln’t 1t out In .thc.nm. en?"
One winter night an old hawker en
tered the bar of the Old Bell Tavern
Fleet street, and offered the customers
sets of three studs for one penny, Phi
May sald to him:
‘“You are just the man I want!"
He took only one stud, and gave the
hawker a five-shilling plece. The bar
maid sald to Phil May: /
“T belleve, Phil, you would give your
cont to the first beggar who asked sos
it
““Well, miss,” replied the artist, “there
would be no harm In that! St Martin
gave his coat to a beggar, and he was
& better man than Phil May, lam 00l
& wiaked sinaesi” b R,