Newspaper Page Text
P ,
J. Fuller Gloom’s |
{ . . ‘
Paris Article
Our Bpeclal Correspondent at the
Peace Conference. |
ARIS, Dec, 20~Today 1|
P leayned the repson why so
many American coldicn\d.
being hurried home. They are sent
home to make standing room In
France for the writers who are
soming over to attend the overflow
meeting of the conference. MRight
boatloads of special correspondants, |
wrtists, sob sisters and hinis-tothe
lovalorners arrived yesterday, f
All these have personal access to
the Peace Conference if thay can
get In. If Versallles proves to de |
too small they will hold the conter |
ance on. the Somme Dbattiefleld, |
whioh is large and well ventilated,
There are plenty of hotél rooms
“hore, but the main difficulty seems
to be that they are all taken, But i
one can always slesp in the park |
Nt he waits till somebody gets up
and leaves a vacant spot.rlv
General WHitemupsk! a: ed here
from Siberia to-day with his lufl.J
He has only one. -He has cema here_ i
to find out what Russia will get' |
out of the Peace Conference, The |
opinion is that Russia will get out
of ft and_that is all, *The general
says they are having an old-fash
ioned Winter in Russta and the
{ayng is fine,
I can state on excellent authority
that the Swiss delegation to “he
Peace Conference will demand the |
freedom of the cheese, This is ad
mitted on all sides. It is probable
the conference will let them have
it. '
The Mexiean delegation Is very®
much ap in the afr. They have deen
given an apartment at ‘the “op of
the Eiflei Tower and will be kept
" there antih the conference is over,
This Is-about the poorest place 1
know of to take uwp a subscription
to buy a Christmas present for
Carranza.
it innotxslld!flcuutog
genuine wary souvenirs lers,
day 1 bought for three francs the
very bullet that killed the ex-Czar ot
Russia, Nearly every one who
comes here gets one of these. For
, four fMnes 1 bought_the pen “with
which was signed the treaty of
Buchares!. Three other gentlemsn
wio slept with me in a secow on
the Canal dn Nord last night had
each bought one of these and had
paid five franes feor them,
If a person pealiy needs sleep he
hires a taxicab for the night at rog
ular meter rates, which is sbveral
francs cheaper than lodgingg. The
Pesce Conference should reduce the
wer (sbi of France almost to the
poiai vhve it will becomse an asses.
An actor and Lis manager from
Ausiralia have errtyed here to have
their differences patehed wp by the
Peace Conference
The Bejum of Bajahote amd Nis
retinge arrived hewe last night. The
Bejum brought with him the famots
Bajahote diamond weighing efght
poudds and three omnces, also mine
quarts of rubles, five kilomotres of
pearis and a scuitle of rare dia
monds. He m@t he had better
bring them wi himm becanse he
left all bis wives at home,
The American delegation is com
tortably established in Joe Mmrads
house, which owerlooks Parls,
There are quite a good many things
e be overlooked. Jos and his wife
have gone (o visil relatives, but left
the gas stove, the dishes and thedr
cook, which was downright niee of
them.
il ————
2 Says we can't help but look
i better and feel better
f after an inaide bath.
t R —
To look one's best and feel one’s
best is to enjoy an inside bath each
morning to flush from the system the
previous day's waste, sour tur_mentu
tions and polsonous toxins before it
is absorbed into the blood. Just as
coal, when it burns, leaves behind a
certain amount of incombustible ma
terial in the form of ashes, so the
(god and drink taken eagh day leave
in the alimentary organs a certain
amount of indigestible material, which
if not eliminated, form toxins and pol
sons, which are then sucked into the
blood through the very ducts which
are Intended to suck in only nourish.
ment to sustain the body, .
If you* want to see the glow of
healthy bloom In your checks, to sece
your skin get clearer and clearer, you
are told to drink every morning upon
arising a glass of hot water with a
teaspoonful of limestone phosphate in
i which is a harmless means of
washing the waste material and tox-
Ins from the stomach, liver, Kidneys
and bowels befere putting more food
into the stomach.
Men and women with sallow skins,
liver sgpots, pimples or pallid ecom
plexion are those who wake up with
a coated tongue, bad taste, nasty
breath, others who are bothered with
headaches, bilious spells, acid stomw
ach or constipation should begin this
phosphated hot water drinking.
A quarter pound of limestone phos
phate costs’ very little at the drug
store, but is sufficient to demonstrate
that Just as soap and- hot water
cleanses, purifies and freshens th;
skin on the outside, s 0 hot water an
Mmestone phosphate act on the inside
organs.— Advartigement
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WITH CHEESE” UPon) THE. Boarp, THERR. 1S Juy 4 THE HOUSE. OF “AMoUSE* Toviesr -~ NBGE7ABLE . ‘CHRESE
Laughs at the Keith Theatres
N BROTMERS—
K “s hemr an accldent hap
penod to pour brother yester
devy.”
“Yes, he was kickod by » borse in
fternally *
“No, no. You mean internsily. In
ferually means the regions below.
“That’s where he was kicked'!"™
“tay, and can you iulagine the day
whean we have women flremen? An
alarm = dent in snd when the cap
tain learns that it's lLizzie Bean's
house that's burning, she'll say,
‘Oh, let It burn!’ * /
“You've got & very bad cold. What
are you taking for it 7”
“Make me an offep!”
“You seom to know so much about
food, name three articles that have
starch in them.” ;
“Two collars and a oufft”
“Whe wee the new girl | sew you
with Ilast night?”’
“That was no new girl. It was the
same one palnted over!”
9 W o
LEMAIRE AND MAYES-—
Tirst Ballor ~Whp are you?
Baecond Sallor—l'm the lookout.
Firet Sailor—You the lookout?
. Becend Sallor-—Yes, suh, Ah look*.
out for mahseif!
& Q : ® 9 - 3
Choice Wit Daily in The Atlanta Georgian
‘ Tell Your Newsdealer to Deliver The Georgian at Your Home Every Week Day, as Well as The Sunday Américan.
HEARST'S SUNDAY AMERICAN — A Newspaper for People Who Think — SUNDAY, JANUARY 26, 1919.
Krazy Kat By Hefriman
“Smext? Ak shoald say AR am.
Why, the other day the cuptain says
to me to take dat dere aeroplame
apart and put it together again, and
when Ah gets finished Ah have ten
parts left over, dat’'s how smart Ah
am. Man, Abh's got too much brains
for one man. Ah ought to lncor
posate! ™ ”
. . .
LEW DOCKSTADER-—
Just look at Willlam J. Bryan. I
oall your particalar attemtion to the
jay! There's a man who has wind
power. He's been running for twenty
yoars without stopping. You oan't
beat him but omce in four years,
But just think of the Kalser. H®
hos 498 uniforms. He's all dressed
up and no place to go. Why, he's
even afrald to come out. And he's
itving off a friend. Panhandling,
that's what he's doing. Why, he's a
bum! Then there's the clown quince,
They ought to lock him wup in the
sutomat and not give him a nickel|
It was on a Thursday that Wilson
signed the Prohibition bill. ¥ remem
ber the day, and on Friday he told
us that he was golng to leave the
country | :
I predict that the candidates tor
1920 in the Democratic ticket will be
elther Wilson or McAdoo, with Gen
eral Pershing on the Republican
‘Ueket, and Hoover on the meal ticket,
| Fasily Misted.
6FTHEY'VE put the price of beans
up at my restaurant. Have
| they u{ yours 7"
| #No; but I've noticed latdly that
| 4hey leave off & bean.”
! L -
! BILL’'S COMPLETE WORKS.
| By Himself.
|’wnu. I'm resting here In Holland
| (Such a nice secluded nook!) g
| Guess | might as well get busy
7 On my contenvplated book.
It will keep me eut of mischief
While I'm hiding vath the Dutch,
And | think that | can make It
; ' Just as funny as a crutch.
| shall have It bound in buckram,
| And "Il sell It for & song,
8o the next war lord who follows
My advice cannot go wrong. -
| shall tell him how it started;
How | stacked the cards to win;
Then I’'ll tell him how It ended,
How | barely saved my skin,
Yep, this book will keep me busy,
And I'nt mighty keen to try If,
Though | sea: when it is printed
There will be no fool to bay it.
For a ghost that stands beside 'mo
in the silence of the night
Beems to whisper that the hangman
Will read proof on what | write.
! Some Futuri initions
urist Definit
LONBL HOUSE—A Maxim silencer wearing a muffler; & feathe
‘ falling on velvet; a sphinx in a felt hat.
| Henry Ford—A cracker-box on wheels; a six-dollare-day pay en
velope; a political magician who has misplaced his rahbit.
Clemenceau—A tiger-skin rug on a slippery ballroom floar; s French
accent with gestures; a diplomatic jack-in-the-box.
Lloyd George—A brush with wire bristles; & “stop-go” traffic sign
for the British Parliament; a tight-rope walkér over the Thames,
i Lenine and Trotsky —A teeter on the back of the Russias bear; &
| vicuum open at both ends.
Willlam Jenniugs Bryan—A free-sflver stickpn on a bomedry shirt
front; & chautauqua salute from Nebraske; a mule in hobbles.
Carransa-—A cactus in the underbrush; a toreador with both arms in
s sling; a hot tamale on ice. .
1'« Joe Cannon—A stogie with a frayed end; a snapping turtle on a milk
! dlet; a back number of the Congressional Record.
| Wilhe!m-—A poison weed pulled up by the roots; an fron cross left
| on the car tracks.
| Crown Prince—A sirav left over from yesterday's e<ream soda;
|, & German silver-mounted walking-stick.
i\ Herbert Hoover—An adult Childs restaurant; s field of corn with
red, white and blue ears; & cornuctpia with a Yale lock.
William Howard Taft-—A toy balloon in a silk hat; ‘ full moon on
| the half-shell; a problem play for suspenders
; Secretary Daniels—A cork out of a grape-juice bottle; a twrndown
i collar standing «t ease; a homespun tarpaulin.
? La Follette ~A pompadour with a natural wave of Mdiguation; the
| lining of a frock coal; a shorn lamb,
| Liebknecht - A semaphore with the red lght showing; the head off
{~of a damp matco; a German heaaache the morning after,
: President Wilson—A birh rod in a velvet socket; a table-tapper st
' the pence séance.
New York-—A head-waiter polishing a dime; s taxicab jazzing en
! asphait; an artificial Christmes tree all lit up.
Philadelphia—A tired business man on Sunday: a Quaker bonnet on
V a chorus girl; a tradition put away in moth balls.
i Boston—A pair of shell-rimmed glagses in a silver oase; an English
n;ént gone to seed; a cup of tea, iced and unsweelened. .
Just for Fun
STRANGE EXPERIENCES. :
OUND a barber who did not 11l our left ear with iather to be @fppl .
F out and used as needed. He had nothing to say about the Peacs
Conference. He was deaf and dumb,
Saw & show the other night in which the heroine and the Bere &t
not fall in love They were supposed to have been married befose the
show started . .
Attended a movie few nights ago, and the heroine wept, but no lnwge
tear the size of an English walnut rolled slowly down her nose or took
a dlagonal southwesterly course across her cheek. The country is surely
going dry, -
Attended a vaudeville show where not a single artist pulled the new
joke about Napoleon having the cooties because his pictures always
showed him with his hand inside his coat. N
Bolsheviki soap box orators seldom wuse the oontents of thaly
platform. i
. . .
DO YOU REMEMBER TH& GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN-— ;
Soup was free with the purchase of ene beer?
. 0
Thank goodness there will at last be an end to that wise orack abuul
water being used only to put under bridges.
. . "
“Separated ten years, wife now seeks divorce.”—FHeadlne.
looks ltke she wants to ml:e the separation permanent, eh’
. .
THE LATEST FASHION MINT,
i Blwckju-.n\n being worn on the head
-.- .
DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN—
Enough beef stew for a family of twelve set mother beok just thifvty |
centa?
- - -
What's the gense of making & resolution this year? Nobody will give
you the oustomary compliment for your display of wilkpower sfter July L
That is, of course, if you last that long
. - -
That old gag sbout Littls Red Riding Hood carrying & harge gob of
butter and s big chunk of cake to her grandmother is great stuff. We
believe it, like it and recommend #t. But can you imagine a mother of
to-day trusting her daughter one step outaide of the house with that Mo
out in a basket, apd butter at eighty cents a pound? It would be anothey
cese of, “fburteen detectives are now investigating the case.™ ’
. - -
Our conscience is cleaz. We have drunk Wheokis coffes seid betped
o win the war. - L i o
Mosato Edict Against Swine.
A GREATLY respected Philadelphia rabbi was about Lo take e seat in
& Chestout street car when an agile draftage youth “beat Mm
it by slipping sinuously into the vacancy. ' s
The rabbi must have expressed a slight annoyance in his featzres
tor the young man added, insult to injury by saying, with cool effromtery:
“What's the master with you? You look as if you wanted Lo eat me.”
The Jewish gentleman was equal to the occasion.
q‘-.mvufim.%ulum‘
. Not in the Family. ;
Tnncma.mntxmmnm-—cwuu i
listed darky was not saluted. Belleving that the meglect in saluting
was due to lack of instruction, be called the sttention of the mam's oap -\
tain to the matter. The captain had the dusky soldier brought befors
him and asked him 1f he did not undersiand the weguistions sbout salut
ing, to which the ebony ome replied:
“Yes, sah; I knows "bout salutin’ and 1 sslites you and Mars Jtm and
Mars Tom, but they’'s one man about this here camp with & couple o’ tin
chickens on his shoulder a-tryin’ to bait us niggads, en’ de pext time )
sess him I'se goln’ to tear dem right offen bim. ™ -
Who Could Blame Hilda? o
Ammumm“hcumu.mmm
sokilers who had received her Invitation through the War Camp
Oommunity Club. During dinner the hostess was very much annoyed by
her Bwedish mald. Every time she served the bays she burst out glggling.
Unable to stand it longer the woman followed her into the kitchen and
demanded: .
“Why, HiMda, what do you mean by insuiting try gossts tn this mams /
per? I ean't understand It.”
*oh,” giggled Hilda, “"one of tam soliers ban my ODallow™
Tonight! Take Dodson’s Liver Tone!
Better Than Calomel For Liver
Calomel sickens! If bilious, constipated and head
achy read my guarantee.
Listen to me! Take no more sick
ening, salivating calomel when bilious
or constipated. Don't lose a day's
work! o
Calomel 18 mercury or quicksilver,
which causes necrosis of the bones.
Ca'omel, when it comes into contact
with sour bile, crashes into it, break
ing it up. This is when you feel that
awful nausea and cramping. If you
are sluggish and “all knocked out,”
it your liver I 8 torpid and bowels
constipated, or you have headache,
dl:flpeu, coated tongue, if breath is
bad ‘or stomach sour, just take a
spoonfui of harmless Dodson’s Liver
Tone.
Here's my guarantee—Go to any
drug store and get a §O-cent bottle of
Dodson’s Liver Tone. Take a spoon
-
Found at Last—A Real Hair
\ : -
Saver and Beautifier
Quickly Makes Dulll Harsh, Unattractive Hair Doubly
Beautiful, Abundant, Soft and Fluffy—
) or Nothing to Pay. j
P |
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- — ,‘\. AN el .»?‘Q"
Gl \."‘* ", o
Women Delighted—All Surprised lby'
Quick Action of Parisian Sage. {
|
It's amazing how much pretty hmv"
does toward producing the appearance
ful tonight, and if it doesn't straight.
en you right up and make m‘fl
fine and vigerous by morning I
you to go back to the store and get
your money. Dodson%s Liver Tone is
destroying the sale of calomel becanuse
it is real liver medicine; -mfi
vegetable. therefore it can not ,
vatd or make you sick. &
I guarantee that one spoonfui of
Dodson’s Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean your
Lowels of that sour bile and consts
pated waste which is clogging your
systemm and making you feel miser
aßle. I guarantee that a bottle of
Dodson’s Liver Tone will keep your
entire family feeling fine for months
Give it to your childremn. 1t is herm
less; doesn’'t gripe and they like ite
pleasant taste.-—Advertisement.
of youth and beauty so much destved
by women of all ages. It's really &
simiple matter for any woman to merit
this praise since radiant hair is only
o matter of care
When your hair becomes faded, vy,
streaked and scraggly, when it lllh out
badly and new hair cannot grow, the
roots must be vitalized and properly
nourished To do this quickly, safely
and at little expense, there is noth!n.d
effective as Parisian sage (liquid
which you can get at all good drug *,
tollet counters )
It's guaranteed to abolish daw
stop scalp ¥ch and f.ullln' hair,
romote & new growth or money re
;'umlnd It's in great demand by q
en of taste and culture, becamse
makes the hair so- soft, lustrous, easy
to arrange attractively and appeer
much heavier than it really is, -
A massoge with Parisian sage $ a
real delight—easy to use, not wtieky
or greasy, and dellcately Dfim-:
an antiseptic liguid free from
ous ingredients, andesunatul not te
color the halr er scalp. If you wamt
good looking hair and rmty of it use
Parisian sage. Don’t delay—begin te
night-—a little attention now o 5
beautiful hair for years to come, V.