Newspaper Page Text
J. Fuller Gloom’s
Paris Article
Our Bpecial Correepondent st the
Peace Conference,
ARIS, Dec, 20~—Today 1
Pw the reason why wso
many American soldiers are
being bhurrind home, Thay are sent
bome to make standing room In
Praove for the writers who are
soming ovar to sttend the owerflow
mesting of (he confaséncs, Hight
Sostionds of spacial correspondents,
@stists, sob sisters snd hintstodhe
Bwelorners arrived yosterday.
ALI these have parsonal scoess %0
e Peace Confererip f#f they oan
#% fn. 1 Versailles proves to de
oo small hay will holll the confor
e on the Somme buttlefield,
wihich is large snd wel) ventUated
There are plenty of botel yooms
B, but (e msin JMicuity eoems
@bo that thay ayo ol taken. Bus
he can giwsyw dleep fn o pars
# be waits tfl somebody gty wp
«nd leeves o vacans spob.
Ceneral HNtemupskd amtved bose
fom Siberin to-day with his euft.
E» bes ouly one. He bas come dDere
® find ont what Russhh will gt
out of the Peace Oonference. The
apimion s that Russia will gt oud
of B and that & all, The genongd
wys theay aro having en oldaad
fned Winter In Bussls end e
iinying &5 e,
Y oan state on excelhms guthority
@t the Swiss delegation (v the
Feace Conference will demand the
freadorn 81 the chesss, This i od-
Witted on afl ¢ides. Rf» probadis
e conference will it ¢hers hewe
‘hmm.w
much ap in the afr. They have been
given an apartment ad the %op of
the Eiffed Tower snd will be hepd
there untl] the confesence s ovem,
This & sdost the poorest pincé L
Svow of o take up & subscription
© buy & Oheistmes pressut foo
Carrenss.
R » oot a 8 off &5%0ul 40 Doy
1 bought for thrwee Druoce he
very bullet thas killed thees Czar of
Sumis, Nearfy osery one who
gomes bere gots one of these. For
four trence § bought the pen withy
which was efgned she treoty of
Bucharest. Three other genthemen
who slopt with e D & scow om
the Cnat du Nord lost night dad
each dought one of thess and dad
paid Sve francs for them.
If » peveon really needs sbeap De
bfres & taxicud for the night st reg
uiar meter rates, which is seversf
funes cheaper than lodgings. The
Peace Conference should vedues the
war Gebt of France simost to the
rfi-fifll”-“
setor sod bis mansger from
Susiralts bave arvived hers to bave
thety differenees patched wp by the
Paace Conference.
The Befum of Bafabhote end Mis
woiione arvtved hewh lnat olgty The
Befumn broushs wish him the famous
Bagahote diammond weighing elght
pouuds and (bree owices, sino nine
warts of rubics, Ove kliometres of
pearis and & scxtle of mase dia
wonds. He thought be bad better
tring them with w Secsmse he
left all bds wives ot home.
The American dsisgation iy como
fortably estabiisbed in Joo Murs's
bouse, whish ovesfooks Parse.
There eve guite 3 good many things
©® bo oweriooked. Jos snd e wife
hsve gone to visit ndatives, but et
Gg9 stovs, the dibes end fhelr
gook, whidh wus Sowerigit vles of
emn.
| co——
“Says we camt help but look
better and feel better
after an Inside bath.
| — e e——
To look one's best and feel one’s
best is to enjoy an inside bath each
marning to flush from the system the
previous day's waste, sour fermenta
tions and poisonous toxins before it
is mbsorbed into the blood, Just as
coal, when it burns, leaves behind a
eartain amount of imcombustible ma-~
_tertal in the form of ashes, so the
food apd drink taken each day leave
in the alMimentary organs a certain
emount &f indigestible material, which
#f not eliminated, form toxins and poi
» sons, which are then sucked®into the
blood through the very ducts which
are intended to suck in only nourish.
ment to sustain the body.
If you want to sge the glow of
healthy bloom in your cheeks, to see
your skin get clearer and clearer, you
are told to drink every morning upon
arising a glass of hot water with a
teaspoonful of limestone phosphate In
it, which is a ‘harmless means of
m}lns the waste material and tox
ins Arom the stomach, liver, kidneys
and bowels before putting more food
into the stomach
Men and women with sallow skins,
liver spots, pimples or pallid com
plexion are those wWho wake up with
a coated tongue, bad taste, nasty
breath, others who are bothered with
headaches, bilious spells, acid stom
ach or constipation should begin this
phosphaigll hot water drinking.
A quarter pound of limestone phos
phate wosts very little at the drug
«tore, but is sufficient to demonstrate
that just as soap and hot water
cleanses, ‘ purifies and freshens the
gkin on the outside, so hot water and
limestone phosphate act on the inside
opkans.— \dvertisement
B e e eTygoIBTTR AT 7 A AICE PROVIDER. YOU AR HUN -
ge 0 b HRIMY, A Bowl OF (TR’ - é%mmk\“‘.““ 2RI 2 M& *w i/ LEYYING YOUR PAMKY RUN QUY OR
'M&“%W\ BLESS Ay s\/&/ AAD Foor .\,;“*; ' 52%]-";’% S e3' ki A fi\v sk ‘O\EES&‘, Loot‘- Ar Youß 'Lm
eS M WNAT A WCKA, LUCA ey Je el i Gl s SON'S, MiLTON ms«flj- AND
3@’&‘* ‘{‘ T - (TR ey 0 U {' fi?. B IRVING “~ GLYTING THER GRowiw §
R ,wi’;%% g ! An *‘4‘ e G b, STUNTED BECAUSE You. |
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. M, AND VISOR WHICH auLy T AGBCA.
WK CGuease’ (00 T Board, Theea. 1S Joy w 0 THE. House. oF Mouse* Tovieur ‘= \BGETABLE , “CHPRSE * CAM MPARY —
Laughs at the Keith Theatres
PROTHENS
K “Y benr an scollent twap
emed bo yoer Weollhar yembar.
L
“Yean, he was EhieG Wty & Durse o
fernally *
“No, 2o You mesn toternally, T
ternally theans the reglons below.
“That's whare bo wes kicked!”
I ntm—
oy, ano can you tmagine the Gy
whon we have women fremen? An
slarm so sent tn and when the cap
taty lenms thet ity Linzie Dean's
house that's buming, shell my,
Ohy, Mot & burat’ ¥
e e
“You've got & very bad . What
are you imking for ftl°
“Nake me an offert”
“You eaam to kndw so mech dbout
Wod, mame three articies shat bhave
starch I 8 them.”
“Tweo cullers and » ouffl”
“Who was the new i 1 | sew you
with Jast night |
“That was no new girl. It wes the
e one palnted gver!™
. . .
LEMAIRE AND MAYES—
Mrst Ballor - Who are you?
Becond Sallor—l'm the lookout
First Baflor - You the lookout?
Becend Hallor— Yes, suh, Ab look
out ftHr mahself!
& e © o T |k @
ikg ; L% i Y &) b |!ni l
> ‘ %
Tell Your Newsdealer to Deliver T'ie Georgian at Your Fome Every Week Day, as Well as The Sunday American.
wABSTS SUNDAY AMERICAN — A Newspaper for Peov's "/ho Think — SUNDAY, JANUARY 26, 1919,
Krazy Kat
"Boart? Ak should say Ah am.
Why, the other day the captaln saye
to me to take dat dere aeroplame
apart and put it together again, and
when ‘Ah gets finished Ah have ten
parts left over, dat’s how smart Ah
am. Man, Ab's got too much bralns
for one men Ab ought to incor
posate! ™
- - .
LEW DOCKSTADER-—
Just look ot Willlam J. Bryen. I
oull your particular attention to the
jay{ There's & man who has wind
powes. He'v been running for twenty
poaye without stopping. You omnt
bewt Bt but once in four years,
But just think of the Kalser. He
bms 498 wniforms. He's all dressed
wp snd no place to go. Why, he's
oven afmid to come out. And he's
Wving off & friend Panhandling,
that's what he's doing. Why, he's a
bum! Then there's the clown quince.
They ought to lock him up In the
sutomat and not give him a nickel!
It way on & Thursday that Wilson
signed the Prohibition bill. I remem
ber the day, and on Friday he told
us that he was going to leave the
country !
I predict that the caudidates for
1320 tn the Demoeratic ticket will be
eithar Wuson or McAdoo, with Gen
eral Perghing ou the Republican
ticket. and Hoover on the meal ticket,
u-rmrrvn Ez the price of beans
up, at my restaurant. Havel
they at yours?™
“No; but I've noticed lately that
they leave off & bean.”
BILL'S COMPLETE WORKS.
By Himself,
Whi@ I'm resting here in Hellend
(Buch a nice secluded nook!) -
Guess | might as well get busy
On my centomle book. ..
It will keep me out of mischief
While I'm hiding with the Dutch,
And | think that | can make It
Just as funny as a orutch.
| shall have it bound In buckram,
And I"ll sell it for a song,
8o the next war lord who follows
My advice cannet ge wrong.
| ghall tell him how It started;
Hew | stacked the cards to win;
Then Il tell him how it ended,
Mow | barely saved my skin.
Yeop, this book will keep me busy, .
And I'mr mighty keen to try it,
Though | sea: when it is printed
There will be no fool te buy It,
For a ghost that stands beside me
in the silence of the night
Seems to whisper that the hangman
Will read proof on what | write.
‘By Herriman
Some Futuni iti
e Futurist Definitions
LONEL HOUSE—A Maxim silencer wearing & muffler; a feathe
< falitng on velvet; a sphinx in a feit hat
Henry, Pord-—A crackerbox on wheely; a six-dollara-day pay oo
velope; a political magician who has misplaced his rabbit.
Clemenceau—A tigerskin rug on a slippery ballroom floor; a French
aooent with gestures; a diplomatic jack-n+the-box.
Lloyd George—A brush with wire bristies; a “stop-go”™ traffic sign
for the British Parliament; a tight-rope walker over the Thames.
Lenine and Trotsky--A teeter om the back of the Russian bear; »
vacuum open at both ends.
Willtam Jennings Bryan-—A freeeflver stickpin om a bonedry shirt
front; & chantaugua salute from Nebrasks; a maule in hobbles.
Carranss—A cactus m the underbrush; s toreador with both arms
a sling; & hot tamale on sos. '
Joe Cannon—A stogle with a fraved end; & snapping turtle on a milk
diet; a back number of the Congressional Record.
Wilhelm A poison weed pulled up by the roots; sm frem oross left
on the oar tracks. i
Crown Prince — A stray left over from yestedday's Wocream sodaj
& German silver-mounted walkingstick,
Herbert Hoover—An adult Childs restaurant; & el of covn with
red, white and blue ears; a cornucopia with a Yale lock.
William Howard Taft-——A soy balloon in & silk hat; a full moon om
the half-shell; a problem play for suspemders
Secretary Daniels A cork owt of a grape-juice bottle: a twradown
cullar standing at ease, & homespun tarpsulin
La Follette ~A pompadour with a natural wave of mdignation, the
lining of a frock coat, a shorn lamb.
Liebknecht A semaphore with the red NMght showing; she head off
of a dam)p match,; a German heasache the moming after
President Wilseon-—A birrh rod In a velvel socket; a table-tapper at
the peace seance
New York —A head-walier polishing a dime, » txlcab Jaszing eon
ssphalt; an artificlal Christmes tree all lit up
Philadelphia—A tired basiness man on Sunday a Quaker boanet on
a chorus girl;, a tradition put away is moth balls.
Boston-—A pair of shell-rimmed glasses 1n a silver oase, an English
accent gone to seed; a cup of tea, iced and unsweelened i
Just for Fun
3 ! STRANGE EXPERIENCES.
OUND a barber who did not fill our left ear with lather to be Etpptd
F out and used as needed. He had nothing to say about the Peace
Conference. He was deal and dumb. E %
Saw a show the other night in which the heroine and the hero &%
not fall in love. They were supposed to bave beem married befove dhme
show started. :
_ Attended a movie few nights ago, and the heroine wepi, but no lange
tear the sise of an English waluut rolled slowly down her nose or took
a diagonal southwesterly course across her cheek. The country is surely
going dry \
Attended a vaudeville show where not a single artist pulled the new
joke about Napoleon having the cooties because his pictures alwaps
showed him with his band inside his coat. .
Bolsheviki soap box orators seldom wee the contents of thedr
platform
.- . i
DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN— |
Soup was free with the purchase of ene beer®
.. - .
Thank goodness un?ro will ot last be an end to that wise crack absut
water being used only to put under bridges.
. - .
“Separated ten years, wife now seeks divorce.*—Headlins. Y
lLooks like she wants to make the separation permanent, eh”
- - -
THE LATEST FASHION HINT.
Blackjacks are being worn on the head i
- . . .
DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN——
Enough beef stew for a family of twelve set mother back just thiry
cents?
. - .
What's the sense of making & resolution this year? Nuobody will give
you the customary compliment for your display of wilk-power after July 1.
That ia, of course, if you last that long
- - .
That oM gag abowt Little Red Riding Hood carrying = large gob of
butter and a big chank of cake to her grandmother is great stuff. Wa
, believe 1, like it and recommend it. But can you imagine a mother of
to-day trusting her daughter one step outside of the house with that lay
out {n & basket, und butter at eighty cents a pound? It would be ancther
case of, “fburteen detectives are now Investigating the case.”
- - -
Our conscience s clear. We bave drunk Whooxis coffes and helped
o wia the war. .
- . -
Mosaio Edict Against Swine.
GREATLY respected Philadelphia rabbi was about to take hiw seat tn
A » Chestnut street car when an agile draft-age youth “beat him to
" by slipping sinuously inte the wvacancy. $
The rabbi must have expressed a slight annovance in his teatures,
for the young man added insult to iajury by saying, with cool effrontery:
“What's the matcer with yous You look as if you wanted o est me.”
The Jowish gentleman was equal to the occasion.
“You.” he answered guietly, “but | am forbldden.”
Not in the Family.
Plefiddnfldmm-mmw-u
listed darky was not saluted. Belleving that the neglect In saluthng
wes due to lack of itnstruction, be called the attention of the man's cap
tain to the matter. The capiain hed the dusky solMier brought before
him and asked him if he did not undersiand the regulstions sbout salut
ing. %o which the sbony one replied:
“Yes, sah; | knows ‘bout saluti’ and | salutes you and Mors Jtm and
Mars Tom, but they's one man about this here camp with a couple o' tin
ohickens an his shoulder a-tryin’ to bait us niggaha, en’ de next ttme J
soes him I'se gol’ %o tear dem right offen him.™
Whe Oould. Blame Hilda?
Am“uuumu.ma—h.
. soMiers who bad received her Invitatton through the War Camp
Commaunity Club. During dinner the hostess wae very much snnoyed by
ber Bwedish mald. Every time she served the boys she burst out giggling.
Unable to stand R longer the woman followed her into the kitchen and
demacded : £
“Why, Hilda, what do you mean by ioeuniting axy guests tn s man:
per? | can’t understand It”
“Oh,” giggled Hilda, “one of tam solliors ben my fellow.”
-
i e
Tonight! Take Dodson’s:Liver Tone!
Better Than Calomel For Liver
Calomel sickens! If bilious, constipated and head
achy read my guarantee,
Listen to me! Take no more llck-l
ening, sallivating calomel when bilious
or constipated. Don’t lose a day's
work!
Calomel is mercury or quicksilyer,
which causes necrosis of the bones,
Ca'omel, when it cOmes into contact
with sour blle, crashes into it, break
ing it up. This is when you feel that
awful nausea and cramping. If you
are lhllllu and “all knocked out,”
it your liver is torpid and bowels
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dizziness, coated tongue, if breath is’
bad or stomach sour, just take a
spoonfui of harmless Dodson's Liver
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Here's my guarantee—Go to any
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Dodson’'s Liver Tone. Take a spoon
"
Found at Last—A Real Hair
Ly L]
Saver and Beautifier
Quickly Makes Dull Harsh, Unattractive Hair Doubly
Beautiful, Abundant, Soft and Fluffy—
or Nothing to Pay. ’
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wWomen Delighted—Al Surprised ‘()y
Quick Action of Parisian Sage.
# amazing how mik pretty ha
) ¢ wrd producing the appearance
ful tonight, and if it deesn’t stra -
en you right up and make you ;
fine and vigerous by morning, 1
you to go back to the store and .
your money. Dodson's Liver Tone |
destroying the sale of calomel beca:
it is real liver medicine; en
vegetable therefore it can not
vate or make you sick. T
I guarantee that one spoonful
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pated waste which is clogging yeur
system and making you feel miser
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Dodson’s Liver Tone will keep your
entire family feeling fine for months
Give it to your children. It is harm
less; doesn’t gripe and they hke ite
pleasant taste.— Advertisement. ‘
of youth and beauty so much destred
Ly women of all ages It's reallyfle
simple matter for any woman to merit
Lhis praise since radiant hair is only
a matter of vare i
When your hair, becomes faded dmy
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roots must be vitallzed and pro"fl,‘};
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and at little expense, there is nothing se
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which you can get at all good drug and
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It's gunaranteed to aboligh dandruff--
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promote & new growth or money -
funded. It's in great demand by q'
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makes the hair so soft, lustrous, e
to arrange attractively and flg’
inuch heavier than It really is, X
A massage with Parisian sage a
real delight—easy to use, not
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an antigeptic liquid free from -
our ingredients, undofiuu'ww ts
color the hair or ‘scalp. Tlf y_".t
good looking hair and :ntv of "o
Parisian sage. Don't b Lo
night--a little Ifl&&h‘. P
beautiful hair for years o 3