Newspaper Page Text
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J. Fuller Gloom’s
. .
Paris Article
Qur Bpectal Correspondent at the
L Peace Comferencas,
ARIS, Dec, 20—Today 1!
Pwmm why wso
many American soldiers are
batng hurrded home. Thay are sent
bome to make standing woom In
Prance for the weiters who are
eoming over to attend (he overfiow
meeting of the conference, Dight
bostioads of special correspondents,
wetists, eod sisters and hints-todhe
lowelornars arrived yostarday.
All these bave personal acoess o
the Peace Oonference if they chn
g6t in. 1 Versailles proves to de
00 small they will hald the confer
ence on the Somnne battiefeld,
which is large end well ventiated.
Theve &re plenty of hotel yooms
Dere, but the muin JifMogity seems
o be that thay eve all tabon. But
one cun slwagy dleup to the pal
£bo walts tfl somebody gats up
aud feaves g vacunt spot.
Qeneral Hltemupski srvived hpre
Oum Siberis today with bis saft.
Ho bae only one. He has come bere
so fiud ont what Russis will get
out of the Peace Conference. The
ophidon: i that Russia will get oud
of B anfl that §s all, The genersi
ways they are hawving sn oldfash
foned Winter In Russie and the
.Sixytng 5 fne,
¥ can state op excellent suthorlly
shat the Swise delogation so the
Pence Conference will demend the
freodom of the cheess, This is ad
mitied on ofl sides. 1 s prodable
the conference wil! Wt (hem bave
=
The Mexivan dedegstion iv very
wmuch gy so the ate. Thay have deen
given on apartment as the *op of
she Tiffel Tower and will be Repd
there untfl the conference is over
This s sbout the.poorest place T
know of 4o {2ke up & subscription
@ bay s Ohristmas prosent S
Uerrenss.
Ris not &f o 0 diffcuit o Duy
genuine way souvenivy Bere Too
day 1 Bought for three fmnce the
very tullet that kifled theenOmr of
RBussin. Nearfy owery ocoe who
comes heve gets one of these For
~four frapce 1 bought the pen with
which was signed the tveaty of
Busharest, Three other gestismen
who slept with me 0 & seow on
e Canal dun Word Tast night bad
each dought one of these and had
paid Sve francs for them.
If & person reailly neofts sheap Be
hiyes & taxicad for the pight ot veg
viar meter mates, which s seversd
franes cheaper than lodgings. The
Peace Confersnce should redves the
war debt of Fravce abmost to -the
poimt where it wil] bocome sn asset.
An actor sndl his menager from
Aastralic heve arrfved here to have
thefr differences patched up by the
Posee Conferemes.
The Bejum of Bajahote and Rig
retinus arrived here last night. The
Befum brought with him the famous
Bajahote diamond welghing eight
pounds and thres cunees, also nine
ety of rables, fve kllometres of
peariz and ¢ scutile of ware Sla
wonds. He thought be bad betier
bring fhem wikth Mm becanse he
left afl bis wives as home,
The American delegaiion by com
forably estsblished in Joeo Murad's
bouse, which owerfooks Panis,
There are quite & good many things
to be overiooked, Joe and bis wife
mm«vw.mmw
o gas stowe, the Gishes and thelr
eovk, which was dowaright uiee of
e,
ROSY COMPLEXION
—
Says we can't help but look
better and feel better
after an inside bath.
| o——
Qs look one's best and feel one’s
best is toYenjoy an inside bath each
morning to flush from the system the
previous day's wasté, sour fermenta
tions and poisonous toxins before it
is absorbed into the blood, Just as
eoal, when it burns, leaves behind a
eartain amount of incombustible mak
terial in the form of ashes, so theé
food and drink taken each day leave
in the alimentary organs a' certain
amount of indigestible materiagp which
It not éliminated, form toxins and poi
sons, which are then sucked into the
blood through the very ducts which
are intended to suc® in-only nourish
ment to sustain the body,
If you want to see the glow of
healthy bloom in your cheels, to sce
your skin get clearer and clearer, you
are told to drink every morning upon
arising a glass of hot water with a
teaspoonful of limestone phgsphate In
it, which is a harmless meéans of
washing the waste material and tox
ins from the stomach, liver, kidneys
and bowels before putting more food
into the gtomach,
Men and women with sallow skins,
Hver spots, pimples or pallid com
plexion are those who wake up with
a coated tongue, bad taste, nasty
breath, others who are bothered with
headyches, bilious spells, acid stem
. ach or constipation should begin this
phosphated hot water drinking
A quarter pound of limestone phos
phatg. costs very little at the drug
store, but is sufficient to demonstrate
that just as soap and hot water
cleanses, purifies and freshens the
#kin on the outside, so hot water and
limestone phbsphate act on the inside
organs, ~Advertisement.
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W Cuaass’ o 0 The. Board, THes. 1S Joy 4 THE. House. ob MoUsE* ToVeHT = VBGETABLE . “CHERSE * CAA MAARY ——
Laughs at the Keith Theatres
“Y hewr sn seclGant Bwp
penad to your brother yestar
oy ™
“Yeam, Do was ¥kad By o Dorse in
fernally”
“No, mo. Yoo memn hterndlly. In
termally meanw the reglone below.
“That'y whars be was kicked!
g
“Say, and can you fmagine the day
when we have women flremen? An
slarm f 9 sent tn and when the cap
tain lemrns that ft's Lizzle Desn's
house thet's burniug, she'll g,
‘Ob, Jet 1t burn!’ *
“You've got & very bad cald. What
#pe you taking for it™
“Male me an offert”
“You eeam to know so moch sbout
tod, name three articies that have
starch i them.”
“T'wo collars and a ouffl”
“Who wae the new girl 1 sew you
with Inst night ™ i
“That was no new girl. It was the
pame one painted over!™
. . .
LEMAIRE AND MAYEG—
Mret Ballor~Who are you?
second Bsilor—l'm the lookout.
Pirst Sailor-—You the lookout?
Beoond Sallor—Yes, sul, Ah looks
out for wmahself!
&¢: o a °
Choice Vit Daily in The Atlanta (ieorgian
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Tell Your Newsdealer to Deliver The Georgian at Your Home Every Week Day, as Well as The Sunday American.
! g !
a Qe ) T A "
FEARST'S” SUNDAY AMERICAN . A Newspaper for People Who Think — SUNDAY, JANUARY 26, 1919,
Krazy Kat
*Smart? Ak shoaM say Ah am.
Why, the other day the captain says
e me to take dat dere aeroplane
pourt and put it together again, and
when Ah gets finished AR have ten
parts lpft over, dat’s how smart Ah
am. Man, Abh's got too much brains
for one man. Ah ought to inocor
porate’ ™
. - -
LEW DOCKSTADER-—
Just look at Willlam J. Brysn. I
«oall your particular attention to the
jay! There’s a man who has wind
power. He's been running for twenty
ypears without stopping. You can’t
beat Mim but once in four years.
Put just think of the Kalser, He
bas 498 uniforms. He's all dressed
up and no place to go. Why, he's
even afrald to come out. And he's
iving off a triend. Panhandling,
that's what he's doing. Why, he's a
bum! Then there's the clown quinee,
They ought to lock him up in the
sutomet and not glve him a nickel!
It was on & Thursday that Wilson
signed the Prohibition bill. I remem
ber the day, and on Friday he told
us that he was golng to leave the
colintry |
I predict that the candMates for
1920 in the Democratie ticket will be
either Wilgon ar McAdoo, with Gen
era! Pegshing on the Republican
ticket, and Hoover ou the meal ticket,
' Easily Missed. |
! Cm put the price of h‘r.‘
| up at my restaurant. Havel
they at yours? |
s “No; but I've noticed lately M'
they leave off a bean.” |
|ie B !
. |
BILL'S COMPLETE WORKS, |
a By Himself. |
! While I'm resting here In Holland |
| (Such a nice secluded nook!l)
| Guess | might as well get busy
On my contemmplated book.
It will keep me out of mischlef ‘
While I'm hiding with the Dutch, !
| And | think that | can make it f
Just as funny as a crutch. [
| shall have It bound In buckram, '
And Pil sell It for a song, 2
8o the next war igrd who follows i
My advice cannot go wrong. }
| shall tell him how It started; |
Mow | stacked the carde to win;
Then I'll tell him how it ended, ’
How | barely saved my skin,
Yep, this book wiil keep me bu.y,’ ‘
And I'm mighty keen to try it,
Though | sea when it is printed
There will be no fool to buy It
For a ghost that stands beside me I
In the silence of the night
Beems to whisper that the hangman
Will read proof on what | write.
By Herriman
Some Futurist' Definitions
Coumm. HOUSE—A Maxim silencer wearing s muffler; & feathe
falilng on velvet; a sphinx in a feit haet. \
Henry Ford—A cracker-box on wheels; a sixndollaredey pay oo
velope; a political magioian who has misplaced his rabbit
Clemenceau—A tiger-skin rug on a slippery ballroom flcor; a Fremch
accent with gestures; a diplomatic jackdn-the-box.
- Lloyd George—A brush with wire bristles; a "“wtopgo” traffic sign
for the British Parliament; a tight-rope walker over the Thames.
Lenine and Trotsky -A teeter on the back of the Russian beas;
vacuum open at both ends. 4
Willlam Jennings Bryan-—A free-sflver stickpin on a bonedry shtrd
front; a chautauqua salute from Ngbraska; a muole {n hobbles
Carranza-—A cactus in the ynderbrush; a toreader with both srme ta
& sling; a hot tamale on ice.
Joe Cannon-—A stogle with a frayed end; a snepping turtls op a milk
diet; a back number of the Congressional Record.
Wilhelm— A polson weed pulled up by the roots; an fron cross lefd
on the car tracks. ‘
Crown Prince—A straw left over from yesterday's locseam sedag
a Goerman gllver-mounted walkingstick.
Herbert Hoover—An adult Childe restaurant; a fSeld of comn with
red, white and blue ears; a cornucopia with a Yals look
Willlam Howard Taft—A toy balloon in & silk hat; a full moon on
the half-shell, @ problem play for suspenders,
Becretary Danlels A cofk out of & grapefuice botfle: a teradown
oollar standing at ease, a homespun tarpautin,
La Foliette ~A pompadour with & natural wave of indignstion; the
lining of & frock ceat; a shorn lamh.
Liebknecht— A semaphore withethe red Nght showing; the head off
of a damp maich; a Germwn headache the mérning after.
President Wilson—A bir~h rod tn & velvet socket; a tabletapper st
the peace seance
New York A bhead-waiter polishing a dime; & texicad jaswing em
asphalt, an artificial Ohristinas tree all lit.up
Philadelphia—A tired business man on Sunday s Quaker boumet om
a chorus girl; a tradition put away ip moth balle.
Boston-—A pair of shellrimmed glasses in a sfiver onse; an Eoglish
sccent gone to seed; a cup of tea, iced and uwnsweetoned.
Just for Fun
STRANGE EXPERIENOES, )
OUND a barber who did not fill our left esr with lather to Do Stppll
Fo-m-uum He had nothing to say sbout the Pesog
. Conference. He was deaf and dumb. L
Saw a show the other night in which the heroine and ihe hero. dis
not fall in love. They were supposed te bave beem married before the
show started
Attended a movie few nights ago, and the heroine wept, but no luxge
tear the size of an English walnut rolled slowly down her nose or took
a diagonal southvwesterly course across her cheek. The country is surely
going dry.
Attended a vaudeville show where not a single artist pulled the mew
Joke about Napoleon having the cooties because his pictures always
showed him with his haund inside bis coat
Bolsheviki soap box orators seldom wuse the ocontents of thelr
platform.
. . -
DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WMEN-—
Soup was free with the purchase of ene beer?
. 0
Thank goodness there will at last be an end to that wise crmck abuut
water being used only to put under bridges.
. " -
“Separated ten years, wife now secks divorce ”—HeadNne
Looks like she wants to make t.hn separation permanent, ebh”
. .
THE LATEST FASHION MINT,
Blackjacks are being worn on the head,
. * -
DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN-——
Enough beef stew for a family of twelve set modher back just thirty
cents?
- = -
What's the sense of making a resofution this yesr? Nobody will give
you the customary compitment for your diuplay of willpower after July L
That ia, of course, #f you last thali long
. - .
That oM gag sbowt Little Red Riding Hood carrying a large gob of
butter and a big chunk of cake to her grandmother is grest stuff. We
betieve it, like R and vecommend M. But can you imagine a mother of
to-day trusting her éaughter cne step outside of the house with that lay
out {n & basket, and butter at eighty cenis a pound? It would Le ancthey
case of, “fhurtesn detectives are now investigating she case.”
. . -
Our conscience i» oleaz. We hawe drunk Wheosts coffee and beipod
® win (he wer.
. - N
Mosaio Ediot Aguinst Swine.
Ag.mymmwmmum&hflb&lh.tl
s Chestnut street car when an agile draftage youth “bead bim
%™ by slipping siomcusly into the wacancy.
The rebtd must have expressed a slight annoyance in his features,
for the young man added insult to injury by saying, with cool effronterys
“What's the matter with you? You look as If you wanted to eal me.”
The Jowish gentleman was egual to the occasion,
“Yon,” he answered guietly, “but |am forbidden
Not in the Family,
F“d.wd“w-wuw--
listed darky was not saluted. Belleving that the neglect In sgiuting
was due to Inck of instrection, be called the attention of the mau’s cap
tatn %o the master. The captain had the dusky solffler brought before
‘d“h.hflmflfi*—‘--‘
ing, to which the ebony one ;
“Yes, sab; | knows "bout saluthy’ and ¥ sslutes you and Mars Bm and
Mass Tom, but they’s one mean shout @i heve camp with a couple o tin
chickens on his shoglder stryfn’ to Dalt us niggabm, e’ de next thme |
soss him Pee pote’ so tear dem right offen him.”
— i L
Who Oould Blume Hilda?
Am-—-u-u-—-u.ma—u
soMiers who had recetved ber iowiistion through the War Camy
Comnunity Cluwh, During dinner ¢he hostess wes very mmech sunoyed hy
ber Bwedish maid. Bvery time she served the hoye she buvst out giggiing
Unable to stand % longer the woman followed ter futo ¢he kitobhen and
demunded
“Wihy, HiMa, what o you mean by tosulling cxy geests to @y men
per? | cant understand B.°
n‘“flm%ge““--“
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you to go back to the store and ge
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it is real liver medicine; entirel
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I guarantee that one spoonfwl o
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Give it to your children. It is hams
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