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THE ROCKDALE RECORD PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY J. M. TOWNS Editor W. E. ATKINSON - Publisher Trouble with us Is that our neces sities are too luxurious and our lux uries too necessary. “A saxophone has 107 separate parts.”—New York Sun. Well, just *o they are separate. Someone asked the Office Cynic this morning what his blrthstone was and he said, “I’umlce.” A sunshine spreader advises us that thinking lengthens life. It does, if you dodge quick enough. Statistic: Mighty few of the world’s great thoughts were tirst written by u customer trying out a fountain pen. The office crab hasn’t eaten in a breakfast nook since the last corn-on the-coh season, when he splashed the walls. The only time a one-armed man Is at an advantage is when he sits at one of those crowded boarding house tables. A manufacturer calls the saxo phone’s note "the Tocsin of the Mod ern Spirit” Then how about an anti tocsin? According to the many gorgeous seed catalogues, arriving once more In the mail, the illustrator still lias Ids dreams. Anew oxygen helmet is one of the several ways invented to escape from a submarine, other than enlisting in the infantry. AVe understand the Einstein theory pretty well, as far as we have gone, except that this Mu Sigma fraternity must be new. Not only can you astonish your friends with the French you learn in ten Easy Lessons: You can aston ish n Frenchman. A "Stay Alive” club has been or ganized in New York. Nothing will contribute more to its success than a good constitution. Wonders of Childhood, No. 211: The hired girl who eould take an ap ple and pare off the entire skin In a long unbroken piece. “The suggestion is made that the Congressional Record he printed on cornstalk paper.” Fine! What’ll we do with the extra corn? Blue, yellow nnd lavender table cloths ore among the season’s novel lies in the linen line, but nothing prac tical like gravy-colored. Nowadays when you see a woods lire, just Imagine how many pairs of silk stockings could have been made from the devastated timber. A $1 oyster stew, with a lone speci men In the center, had been laid be fore the satirical diner. "Here, wait er!” he called. "Where’s its pearl?” We have had it continued by suit able inquires that the name of the new revolutionary figure in China is really Hip llip Hong, instead of Hur ray. “Anew paper for wrapping pur poses is made waterproof in the proc ess of manufacture.” Something after the idea of the paper towel, we ex pect. “The only difference between graph ite and a diamond is in the way the molecules are arranged.” Splendid! Let’s break a lead pencil and start arranging. Speaking of the new Einstein mat ter, the Office Skeptic is frank to say he hasn’t been so puzzled since the last time the “Nation” announced a prize poem. Science approaches the miraculous at times but never quite touched the early movie hero who could engrave a 175-word letter in elegant script by dashing the pen once across the paper. Book purchasers are not necessa rily discriminating. Einstein will sell many thousands of copies of a book which not more than twenty persons in tlie entire world are expected to understand. “He used to walk off mornings with all the matches in the kitchen,” said the silly wife. “So the other day I bought him a cigarlighter." The Wild Life editor flatly denies a rumor that a “cow tree” in Nica ragua, which gives milk remarkably like a cow’s, also says Moo. These bridge games which are broadcast might be given a further convincing touch if one leg of the radio cabinet could be arranged to collapse occasionally. A freshman in the punning course went into a stationer’s the other morning and asked whether he kept uny new corn paper in stalk. Now York’s handsome police com missioner has been running around so much on the new job he lias worn his shoes right down to the spats. Boy, 11, Sues Uncle; Verdict a Spanking Vineland, N. .7.—liright. dili gent Erwin Greenblatt, eleven, has ruefully voiced the opinion, "There ain’t no Justice.” An uncle promised Erwin s2d If he prospered In his studies. The hoy skipped a grade in school and waited patiently for tlie reward, but the uncle for got. Young Grecnblatt’s injured feelings got the best of him and he decided to sue. Going to an other uncle, a lawyer, ho hired him as Ids attorney and suit was immediately started. The sued uncle then realized this was litigation and not Joking, lie complained to Erwin’s fa ther. Greenblatt, Sr., rendered a summary verdict ending the suit —a sound spanking was ad ministered to the plaintiff. ESTATE OF KILLER TO EXPIATE CRIME Wisconsin Orphans to Receive Most of $40,000. Milwaukee. —Society is to be par tially repaid for a murder committed more than fifty years ago by Fred liorchert, who died in seclusion re cently in his paint shop here at tiie age of eighty-one. More than $30,000 of ttie $40,000 estate which liorchert had accumulated since his parole from AVaupun prison 30 years ago will be turned into the fund of the Mil* waukoe county orphans’ board and used for tlie support of the orphan asylums of the county. liorchert, who opened his paint shop shortly after being paroled from prison, left no will and no relatives. A petition was filed in the county court by Neele 15. Neelon, public ad ministrator, asking that he be ap pointed administrator of tlie estate. The Orphans’ Board fund, which is unique in the United States, was cre ated 58 years ago as a means of dis posing of estates of persons dying intestate and leaving no relatives. The fund at present amounts to $120,- 000. This is kept in trust and the income is spent for the upkeep of or phan asylums. Soon after he was imprisoned Bor chert repeated. lie became a model prisoner, and in 1809 was freed on the promise lie would attempt to re deem himself. He opened his paint store and industriously pursued his trade as a painter and paperhanger. He did his own cooking, made his own bed on rare occasions and hoarded his money. The trust fund which will receive the liorchert estate is administered without charge by the 19 Judges of the county’s Courts of Record. The existing fund has come from 900 pro bated estates. Seven orphan asylums benefit. Kills Girl, Goes Free; Kills Cow, Arrested Tula, U. S. S. It.—Although he re mained at liberty after murdering a poor servant girl, a young man named Nltikin was subsequently arrested for killing a cow. Nitikln, it happens, is the son of a rich peasant and has many friends among the officials of ids village, Oli eniki, near here. His case has now been taken up by the press in Tula and even in Moscow ns an example of the corruption of tHo villages. AVhen the girl, Anna Korovkino, re fused to marry him, Nitikin killed her. He was arrested but soon was re leased pending trial, which was post poned continually. The dead girl’s sister was even reprimanded by the local court for calling Nitikln a mur derer. since tie had not yet been con victed. Then Nitikin kiled a cow belonging to another rich peasant, with as much influence as himself, lie was promptly jailed and the murder case against him was revived. Man Bites a Dog, He Reveals After Arrest Fort Mills, S. C.—Charles A. Dana and all news hounds who have taken Ids words to heart take note: A man lias bitten a dog. Chief of Police V. D. Potts of Fort Mill, hearing a commotion and the howling of dogs in the lower part of the city, Investigated. Near the scene of the noise a man staggered around the corner. He was promptly arrest ed for being drunk. Chief Potts noticed that Ids mouth was full of hair and questioned him. The drunk related, in effect, that tlie howling had annoyed ldm, that lie had caught one of the canines, that lie had bitten it three times. The story Is vouched for by Chief Potts and another Fort Mill resident, who was present when the man was arrested. Basket Saves Falling Babe Decatur, Ind. —Phyllis Gene McFar land, baby daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Grog McFarland, suffered only a slight cut when she plunged two stories down a clothes chute at her home. She landed lu a basket of clothing. Objected to Delay Centerville, lowa. —Enraged because his trial on a charge of slander was lagging, George Damyanieh shot and killed Ids lawyer, D. Fulton Bice. THE HOCK DALE RECORD, Conyers, Ga., Wed- April If, 1 - >29 : Sand Sprinkler Useful Device - . -- -—-—- The new device, the Invention of the Oregon state highway department which is used to sprinkle sand over Icy pavements during the 'vinter mont s and over the soft tar streets (luring the summer time, fhe sand runsdown the chute onto the revolving disks which spread it evenly over the street. A sprocket and chain drives the disks. Coaches Hold Different Views on Cage Rules Dr. James Naismith, originator of basket ball and a member of the faculty of the University of Kansas, is not at all in sympathy with the suggestion of Dr. AValter Meanweli, basket ball coach of the University of AVisconsin, that the center toss-up in basket ball be eliminated. “AVliy should we take from the game an interesting phase, the center toss up, and start the game with a pass in from outside the court?” asked Doc tor Naismith. “No other game starts outside the court or field. Hockey and football be gin at the center.” Asa substitute for the center toss up, the AVisconsin coach would start the play with a pass from outside the end lines, using the same method after Flashlight Battery Will Start Motor if Stalled If the battery is so low that the car won’t start, even with the hand crank, n couple of flashlight batteries will do the trick. The illustration shows how to connect them. Remove the igni tion coil wire leading to the ignition switch, and replace it with a wire from one end of the two flashlight TWO FLASHLIGHT BATTErIIs How to Wire Flashlight Batteries. batteries connected in series (you must have at least four cells). Then connect the other end of the two bat teries to the metal crank case. Crank the motor, and when it starts, speed it up to send a charge through the storage battery. A few minutes’ run will put enough charge in the battery so you can start the car again with the crank.—Popular Science Monthly. Interesting Bits of Sport Jake Hurt lias been signed ns man ager of tlie Meridian team of tlie Cot ton States league. * • * Tlie American Horse Breeding fu turity will be raced at Syracuse this year. * * * On the roster of tlie Chicago Cubs is discovered one rookie calling Chi cago home, Roy Hanson, pitcher. * * * Nydalil, former Minnesota athletic star, is a candidate for tlie third base job Fred Haney left at Indianapolis. * * * There are nine clubs in Boston, Mass., devoted to tlie sport of pigeon racing. Schmeling and Maloney Max Schmeling, the German heavy weight, has been selected to meet Jim my Maloney of Boston on the r>rvs I field, Boston, early in June. each goal with the teams alternating in tossing in the ball. Doctor Mean well contends that a tall center has an unfair advantage under the present system, but the opposite view is held by Doctor Naismith. Texas Is Now Spending $700,000 on Old Roads Determined to maintain the excel lent status of its state highways, Texas is now spending $700,000 to salvage 39G miles of old gravel and macadam roads in 23 of its counties. Work under this appropriation con stituted tlie initial project of the 1928 highway program, which called for the surfacing of approximately 1,000 miles of gravel and rock roadbed with asphalt. The 39G miles of roadway affected by the appropriation for new surface construction are being given an asphalt surface treatment. Initial National Automobile Show Recalling the first National Automo bile show, held 28 years ago at Madi son Square Garden, New York, Frank N. Nutt, prominent in engineering cir cles, and who every year has attend ed a national show, recites some in teresting reminiscences. To quote Mr. Nutt: “The first show was held Novem ber 3 to 10, 1900. Thirty-one different makes of cars were shown. Eight were steam driven, eight electric and fifteen by gasoline motors. Twelve of the fifteen gasoline cars were fitted with single cylinder motors, two with two cylinders and one had three cyl inders. “Out of the thirty-one makes of cars then on display only four are still be ing made. “Power plants with one or two ex ceptions were located inside of the body and under tlie front or rear seat. “The steering wheel made its ap pearance on one or two cars, one com mentator saying editorially, ‘A few have adopted that foreign freak, the wheel, which is inconvenient and com plicated and cannot compare with tlie lever.’ “The show, which was sponsored by tiie Automobile Club of America, was an unqualified success, and the club came in for a lot of praise for tlie effi cient manner in which it handled ‘New York’s first real automobile show.’ “One publication contrasted tlie ex hibition with tlie ‘farce held in 1899 when a dozen vehicles were gathered Davenport of the Mississippi V’ailey league has signed Earl Rennet, a rookie pitcher. He is a home town boy. * * * Fifteen nations competed in tlie in ternational ski championships in tlie Tatra mountains of Poland. * * * Wilbert Robinson, manager of the Brooklyn Robins, picks tlie Chicago Cubs to win the National league pen nant this season. • • • Yale has five veterans, including Tappen, who stroked the 1928 varsity, among this year’s rowing squad. • * * Manager Wade Kiliefer of the Mis sion clul has announced tlie sale of Nelson Greene, left-handed pitcher, to the Reading Internationals. • * * Tad Jones and Mai Stevens, famous Yale football coaches, approve very heartily of the new rule regarding the fumbled ball. *, * Muddy Ruel, Washington catcher, is a graduate of the University of Missouri nnd plans to practice law when he finishes with baseball. * * * Because he played for the late Ed die Plank while at Gettysburg col lege, Alfred Jones, pitcher, is being given a trial by the Athletics this spring. * * * Don 11. Andrews, a Chicagoan and product of Parker high school, is cap taining the University of Illinois baseball team this spring. He Is one of the leading pitchers in the con ference. Radiant Gardeners of the Early Days Baseball lias had many brilliant outlielders from the far back da,\s when Joe Hornung Heldetl so bril liantly that lie drew extra spectators to the hall parks when he appeared in tlie cities around the big lengue circuit. Tills fleet-footed outfielder was the pride of Boston town. Philadelphia had Jimmy Fogerty w jjlle St. Louis had Curt Welch and Chicago had Abner Dairymple and each city swore by its player as the greatest outfielder in tlie game. Cleveland fans believed Jimmy Me- Aleer had no equal as an outiielder. McAleer used to race over into Jesse Burkett’s territory and take tlie hard ones that “Burk” couldn't get. In fact, McXleer worked in all three gardens. This was in the good old days when the Cleveland Spiders were culled a real ball team. Baltimore fans of the '9os watched Billy Keeler take them off tlie bill boards and scoreboard, but he didn’t have a chance to garner any in the territory covered by Steve Brodie, for that famous outfielder was just as fast and sure as they made them But Donovan used to startle the Pittsburgh and St. Louis fans by run ning clear across the field to the bleachers and capture tlie elusive fly bail with ungloved hands, and with a smile on his noble countenance. Fred Clarke was a great manager, but he was just as great as an outfielder. It wasn’t an uncommon stunt for that superb player to come in from deep outfield and get them on the diamond. Elmer (Mike) Smith was a made over player, converted from the ranks of the huriers to an outfielder. Smith was a sensational southpaw, who could hit the ball just as well as hp could pitch it. Mike could get them sitting down. There is a story on record that he once caught a ball standing on his head. together and palmed off as an automo bile show, at which vigilant guards prevented visitors from kneeling to look under the carriages—and prompt ly sent away anyone exhibiting too much intelligent curiosity.’ “In addition to viewing the cars the visitors were treated to test demon strations in the garden. These tests were designed to show that tlie cars would run and could be steered and stopped. “It is interesting now to recall some of tlie specifications of cars at the 1900 show. Here are a few: “Tops —mostly none; some canopy. Fenders, or mudguards—metal frame with patent leather sewed over the frame. AA’indshield—none; used gog gles. Steering gear—stick or lever; one or two had wheels. Springs—full elliptic or long semi-elliptic. Lamps— kerosene; carbide with gas and water tank a part of the lamp; electric on electrics. Drive—chain. Signal— me chanical and electric bells. Ignition— make and break; one or two with jump spark. Instruments —no speedometers, ammeters nor gauges.” -1* -f- *** *** -t- *** •** *l* .** ** *. .J* **.-. * .** **. .* **♦ **. .** ►*. **►-*. ►*. ♦-* ** **♦ *!**!*-*' '!“*”' M f \ 3 I ■ Reds Have Hard Luck Pitcher *’* is the champion hard luck performer of the major, X \A / leagues? There are many who will come forward to claim cl ¥ ▼ this doubtful and least desired of distinctions. But none j i X can present a better claim than Jakie May, the portly left- -1 v bander of the Cincinnati Reds. *:♦ Jakie lias had a checkered and a unique career in baseball. He X started way back in 1914 with Newman in the Georgia-Alabama league il .. when he was only sixteen years old. The next year lie was sold to X Macon in the Sally league. The league blew up and he became a free * I *> agent. He signed with Salt Lake and proceeded to develop a fine curve |j X hall and a finer case of appendicitis. The next season lie pitched for • I v San Antonio in the Texas league, and while he only broke even on j | X games won and lost that season he was signed by Branch Rickey for; 1 the Cardinals in 1917. * • Jakie was with the St. Louis club five seasons and yet lie won only Jl £ ten games for Rickey in all that time, an average of two games a year. jS ♦> Rickey finally got discouraged over the wildness of the young southpaw ||| X with the effective curve and let him go. ♦♦ The Vernon club of the Pacific Coast league secured Jakie in 1922 -l X and he pitched phenomenal ball that season, winning 35 and losing 9* g X games. The Yankees offered a lot of money for him the next winter j | v hut the Vernon price was too high. Jakie pitched lower than .500 bail jfl *„* the next season and his price came down. , The Reds bought him la j v 1024 and he promptly developed a sore arm and won only 3 games that -1 % season, making 13 victories for six major league years. The next year *. ■ I X he did but little better. That -I X ittinky left wing would not func- " &■:■■■■■■ X tion. But in 1920 lie showed a * flash of the pitching greatness it |ir\ <^w v was always felt he possessed. He ™ ’ k f £ got started late because be had •* taken on about a ton of weight jfP y* >a ** nnd it took him a long time to get -•$ :| v into condition, but when lie did £ start he won 13 and lost 9, and Syi P\. •• was going grandly when Heatlicote ||§||f / ' X spiked him in Chicago on Labor I X day. He had that game won sto ||ra f X J When lie was disabled. That llif / | spike thrust was said to have cost j||| \ 1 \\W i*' X the Reds the pennant that year. |S| % ‘ X *t nearly cost Jakie May his career %li % Jf'' ,$■ % ns tlie steel cut right through h Mt| 1%: r ** ' * ligament of his ankle. X Jakie May turns his thirtieth , , . * birthday milestone this year, and Jakie May. * everybody in baseball who knows him is pulling for him to have one j 1 * real uia i° r 1 Pugue season before he hangs up ids glove. His 35 vie-1| * tones won for Vernon in 1922 is a record that has not been excelled , ■ X since 1913 when Walter Johnson bung up 3G for Washington. ** * -j* ❖**** ** * * •:* *;•* * * <s. * * ,j. .5., ......,. 4 ......... ~ | After all that is said about old-time heroes of the outfleldiJß game, tt was up to a certain Bii (Eva) Lange to show the way whesfl it came to fielding the position. Hilifl won Ids spurs nnd fame while work-1 ing for Pop Anson during the ’oo s l Bill would get behind Jimmy r VS| | and Decker and eat up tlie ones I that were too difficult for them. Detroit’s Star Catcher . >■ 1 Catcher Woodall of tlie Detroit!# Tigers appears to be in line condition this spring and promises to lie a town 1 of strength for Bucky Harris in tii, 1 race for tlie American league pennant# 000000000000000000000 -o ooo: l AUTOMOBILE ITEMS | 000<XKKKKl(KKK>(>0<3-(KKK>v O OC'; Auto insurance on the installment# plan has made its appearance in sevlj eral states. • * * If the rubber knob on the gear shit# lever continually works loose, remott# it and place a heavy lock washer in-9 side of it. • * • That Wisconsin man who wreckelH his car because it wouldn’t start waijj just about one degree madder ilia:# the rest of us. • * * The canopy top was of short-live; I popularity. It made its appearand j first in 1904 and was replaced tlie to j lowing year by the “folding” top. Tin § windshield also .ms an innovation™ 1904. The “self-starter” did not comtjj into use until 1911. * • * After anew car has run 400 or tf|| miles it is advisable to take down tt|l crankcase and clean it thoroughly ifl order to remove all tlie filings, C:IS, ' II 9 scales, etc., that could not be remove# at tlie factory. * • * An Indiana motorist ran don _ ' wolf on tlie public road and tb'<‘ finished the injured animal with | shotgun. If the four-footed l -j can't get out of tlie way of the juf 1 gernauts, what chance have the t I peds?