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SATURDAY, JULY 8, 1876, BL C DO IKS. It was a rnaiter of much thought To tell where it began ; It was too large a mouth to be Upon so small a man. And were he coming up the road, Far in the distanoe dim, You'd see his mouth an hour be , fore You’d catch a glimpse of him. Nature’s sublime economy It showed without a <loubt, For vast material was saved Byleaviug that infioh out. ’Tis said by those who knew him well That from the very first, He always used the largest words Whenever he conversed. Arid when bo bad to pay a pawn With just one kiss or more, The fair youug damsel would com plain That each one counted four. • While for vain glorious form of ■ •. speech He did not care a fig, ’Tis said because bis mouth was large He always talked quite big. Bv men quite competent to know It has been truly said, His mouth could never grow un less They did enlarge his head. I’ve often heard of men who cou’d Speak volumes, but I’m sure I never saw such facilities For doing that thing before. He had an alligator laugh, Ard when he went to smile The slit across his countenance Coaid be seen,full half a mile. Brit one day Blodgins disappeared, ’Twas thougnt he was gone South ; But hanged if I don’t now believe He wWnt into his mouth. QUEER COMP.ANIONSHIP. A little girl in Eastman, taking compassion on a sick chicken, placed it behind the kitchen stove, where a little pet kitten nestled down beside it and afterwards became its com panion, following it about and play ing with it. After laying its first egg, the chicken supposed it was not hen like to sleep behind tlie stove, so it selected a roosting-place in the shed. Poor pussy was ijuite troubled at first, but was found in the evening quietly roosting beside it.—[Ex. THE KENDRICK CASE . The jury made up their verdict yesterday morning at 7 o’clock. They reported they had no poll during the night, but the most of them slept well. The members are ro'icent, but the inference i9 clear that about half the number, or more, desired to bus taia tine charge of seduction. the verdict in court. At about 8 o’clock, Judge Craw ford was sent for, aud soon appeared and took bis seat. After the usual preliminaries the verdict was receiv ed and read in Bilence. Not many were in the court room. The accus ed was present, and the verdict of “wc, the jury, Snd the prisoner guilty of adultery,” was read. Solicitor Little objected to the form, aud stated that it should read ‘‘adnltcrv and fornication.” Col. Hawkips, one of the counsel for the defense, objected on the grounds that no such charge had been given the jury by the judge sustained him and in that he had not so charg ed. motion for discharge of depend ent. The defendant filed in the olerk’s office a motion to discharge him upon the following grounds, to-wit: That the verdict rendered in his case is for adultery, wheu the indictment does not allege that he was a married man ; and further that the indict ment does not oharge him with being a single man, or that he was any oth er than C A Kendrick, further, that said verdict is for adultery, when it appears that the girl mentioned in said indictment is an unmarried fe male. THT SENTENCE. The court over ruled the motion, and sentenced the dofendent to pay SSOO fine aud $53 costs. Kendrick paid the fine and costs, and is now preparing to move to the West. HARD TO PLEASE. No one noticed her particularly until she punched the grocer in the back with her umbrella and inquired: “Didn’t you hear me asking for dried apples ? And if you didn’t, do you hear me now?” “ I do, madam. I have some very choioe dried apples at a shilling a pound-” “A shilling!’’ She screamed—why, Ive bought ’em for seven cents!” “Can’t be such apples as these, madam. These cost me eleven cents.” “Look here,” she continued, low ering her voice aud laying her um brella on her Moulder, „I know the law as well do, aud I’ll either protect my rights or put you where you can’t try to swindle any more innocent ladies !” “Law! What law, madam?” “The dried apple law, sir! A man at the door told me the price was fix ed by law at four cents a pouud.” “Bosh, madam. There is no law about dried apples any more than there is about horse raddislr” “Be careful, sir be careful!” Bbe whispered lifting the umbrella over bis head. “I’ll take two pounds at four cents per pound.” “Humph!” he growled, as be be gan to move a barrel of potatoes. “Does that allude to me?” she shouted, bringing the umbrella down on his back He ran out to oall a policeman, and she u p set a lot of pails, dodged out of the back way, and climbed over a back fenc ?, entered a harness shop a few doors below. “You don’t keep dried apples here I she remarked to the pro prietor, They Dover had kept any, he repli ed, and he didn’t know as they ever would. He said* he didn’t believe that harness—making and dried ap pies were suited to each other, “Ate dried apples up?” she asked, reaching over tor a piece of wmt to chew or. He had heard they were, in fact, he knew so. A few years ago his family could have dried apples twice a day all the year round; now the children cried for dried apple pie, and it made his mouth water to think of one. He was an obliging man and soon satisfied her tha*. there was no law having a direct.bearing on dried ap ples. The high price, he tb jught, was caused by a scarcity, and the scaroity,he believe 1, was owing to a lack of fruit. “Seems reasonable ’nuff,” mused the woman, as she started for the grocery. Boldly entering, she walk ed up to the proprietor, held out her hands and said: “Forgimme, If you had explain ed the dried apples was owing to the scarcity of the lack of high prices, why, I’d have seen through it in a minute, and taken all you had. .1 won’t take anything this morning, but if you have a bunch of onions lor two cents here’s your cash, and I would’nt strike you on the back again for a whole bottle of catsup.” —Free Press. THE NEW YORK MAN AND THE SITTING HEN. A New York man who is spend ing the hot weather season with a family on Pine street, was asked by the lady of the house if he would take a hen off the nest, as it wanted to sit and she didn’t want it to. “Certainly,'* said he, aud immedi ately started out to the barn where the hens were kept, to crush out the maternal prospects uf this particular one. He went straight for the nest to lift her off, and reached out his hand for that purpose, but immediately drew it back again and tucked it up under the other arm and squeezed it a little, while he drew up his lips as if about to whistle something. Then he stood there aud starea at the hen, and she lifted up her head and stared back at him, -winking her eyes with singular velocity. “Get off,won’t you?” said he after a pause. She made no response. Ho drew out his band and looked at a red spot on oue of the knuckles, and then put the knuckle in his mouth to cool it, looking all the while at the hen, and wondering how od earth she moved so quickly. The longer be eyed her the less inclined he felt to touob her, aud finally he climbed up a post to a beam which ran over the nest, and working his way out till he got just above the hen,took off his hat and shook it at her, and advised her to ‘ get,” But she only looked up at him one eye at a time and eluoked ominously, He told her if she didn’t leave he’d edrne down there and kick her through the barn, but immediately gave up the blood thirsty design when ho reflected that it was a dnmb animal, aud couldn’t reason like a human being. Then he happened to think of his trousers, which were white linen, and nibbed his fingers ou the beam to find them full of black dust, which led him to work his body around to look at his pants, and while making this very natural move he suddenly slipped) made a plunge to renew his hold, shrieked for help, slipped again and then camo down on top of the hen, smashing them both to the floor upsetting a barrel and filling the air with dust, feathers, hen nrises and shrieks. When the family reached the barn, the unfortunate man looked some thing like a circus poster on legs, had got on his feet and was turning round and rubbing bis bead in an abstracted manner and.every time he turned, an omelet on a white linen base came to view, while the hea stood up in the farthest corner ou one leg with alook of miogled astonishment and re proach on ker countenance. — Dan bury News. The National Board of Trade, New York, July Ist.—The Na tional Board of Trade adopted a res olution asking 0 ongress to amend the Bankrupt act and make it uniform. Also for a thourough revision of the tariff not made in the interest of any c lass or classes of producers, manufacturers or merchants. Also a revision of the Internal Revenue, with a view to securing the largest revenue from the ‘ fewest articles The Board visits Washington the middle of January. Adjourned sine die. That woman was a philosopher who, when her husband died, said she was consoled by one thing—she knew where he was at night. SOME THINGS WE NEVER SAW. We never yet saw a man but what would pass off his ragged money first. They likewise give scraps to the pour and then give their con- Feiences credit for dispersing choice cuts. We never saw a little girl just learning jo put on her stockings, but what she got the heel part ot the stocking on top of her foot, and then cried. We never saw a big girl put on her stockings atall but we suppose they wear them. In fact we believe they do. We never saw a stout, healthy man banging around a grocery door waiting for somebody to treat, cuss ing the niggers because they w ouldn’t work, tut what we felt sorry for that man—sorry that lightning wouldn’t strike him, We never saw a boy with a stone bruise on bis foot that kept him from school, but what could make things bowl with an Alabama sling, When a lady faints what figure does she need? You must bring her 2. —- T—■ * “The times are hard, wife, and I find it difficult to keep my nose abovo water.” “You could easily keep your nose above water, husband, if you didn’t so often keep it above brandy.” During the Mexican war one of the generals came to Captain Bragg and said— Captain, the crisis ha3 arrived! fire!’ Whereupon Captain Bragg sain to his lieutenant — i “You hear what the general says— fire!” The lieutenant said — “But, captain, I don’t see any thing to fire at!” “Fire at the crisis!’’ ?aid cap tain Bragg. Sarah Bernhardt, the famou French actress, is almost supernatu rally ethereal —or, to state the truth plainly, thin. It is reported thrt Alexandre Dumas, when he saw the picture in the salon representing the actress, with her great Russian grey hound lying at her feet, remarked thoughtfully; “Ah, yes, I see—a dog keeping guard over a bone.” THE OooooobooooooooOoo 00000000000 0 0 o 0 0 o CONYERS COURIER, o 0 0 0 '< o OooooooooooooooOooooaooooooooO Published Every Saturday Morning 9 —oOo— BV A. H. SHAVER AND L. F. SCOTT. ■%. .. V Hates of Subscription. One Year, $1 00 Six Months, 60 Three Months, 30 By Mail, 1 year, 1 25 Hates of Advertising. One square, 1 insertion, 75 cts. Liberal contracts made with adver isers. —oOo— All communications should be ad dressed to the CONYERS COURIER. Conyers, Ga - J 00 888 JOO B B ' J 0 0 888 JJO 0 B B JJJ * 00 888 PRINTING, Of every description, promptly and reatly executed, at the COURIER JOB OFFICE , Centre Street, Conyers, Georgia. Having purchased a supply of New Material, we are now prepared to do all kinds of work desired, at as low rates as any other office in this sec tion’ FARMERS, MERCHANTS, LAWYERS ’ DOCTORS, & Everybody Are invited to call here before going elsewhere. Wo are determined to please the public. NOTES, LABELS, POSTERS, TICKETS, CIRCULARS, PROGRAMMES, ENVELOPES, BILL HEADS HAND BILLS. LETTER HEADS, BUSINESS CARDS, ACCOUNT STATEMENTS, 4 LEGAL BLAU ICS, OF EVERY DESCRIPTION If you desire your Printing don in a satisfactory style, and at price* to suit the times, be sure to call at the Job Printing Office of the CONYERS COURIER J. E. MADDOX, r—PROPRIETOR OF —> THE m? shl* m m&m* CONYERS, GEORGIA. Offers to the qitizens of Conyers Rnd vicinity, his entire stock of WINES, LIQUORS, CIGARS, TOBACCO, at the lowest prices His former patrons, and the public generally, will find him at his old stand, Centre Street, 4 doors from site of old ho tel. GIVE HIM A OALL. nol-tf DRINKING 1 SALOON! NUMBER ONE —Is the place to get— and For common or special use. If you want a glass of Ice cold Lemonade, A sherry cobbler , A Nice Whiskey Punch, Or a Fine Cigar, Go to Saloon Number One, corner Centre and Railroad Streets, in the rear of the Furniture Store, tjanlst THE COfiVERS COURIER, -o- An Independent Weekly Paper. -00000- ONE DOLLAR PAYS FOR IT ONE YEAR —oooOOOooo — If You want a Live Paper , If you 'want a Qheap Paper, If you want a Spicy Paper, If you want a Nemy Paper, If you want a Good Paper, Take the Courier! —ooOoo — It has all the Local AP POINTED EDITORIALS, Georgia Gossip. GENERAL NEWS, WIT & HUMOR, LITERATURE, POETRY —ooooOOOoooo —■ OFFICE : Under the White head House, corner Room, SHAVER & SCOTT, Publishers