Newspaper Page Text
THE ELCERIUN GAZETTE
Pt’BLl«iEl) WEEKLY,
AT EI.HKRTON, GKOIKJIA
ratks or si'KscraoTU'x is auy.vxck.
OXK YRAK $2 r.o
SIX MONTHS 1-5
TURKU MONTHS TANARUS:
KATES OF AnVKRTISISOi
One square, first insertion, $1 00. Tor eneli
»übeq«eut iosevrtion, 50 cents. Deductions
made tor advertisements inserted for three, sis,
or twelve mouths.
The OlflWulty thotii Tlitii Itnf
BY JOHN Ql'tl.L.
This was the cause of all the trouble :
‘•Lost,on the 10th Distant.,a small Ter
rier Dog, with a brass collar upon his neck,
and the tip of his tail gone. Answers to
the name of ‘Jack.’ five dollars reward,
will be given the person who returns
liitu to John Quill, No. 81 Rickety Row.”
1 inserted the above in the Daily Flipflap
in the hope that 1 might reeover the animal,
to which I was much attached. The Flip
flap goes to press at ft A. M. At (>•< 1 was
awakened by a pull at my door bell. I got
out of bed and opened the window. As l
looked out l saw a man standing in my
front yard with a mongrel dog tied to a rope,
lie gated up and observed :
'Hollo! are you the fellow wlio lost a
dorg ?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Well, then, I’ve fetched him,’ said the
man.
I then explained to this wretched hitman
being that my dog was a terrier, while lie
looked more like a log of wood with half
the bark oft", and propped up on four sticks,
than a dog of any kiud.
‘Well, ain’t you a going to take him ?’
‘I wouldn’t have Ifni as a gift. And 1
want you to move oft" now, or I’ll call the
police.’
‘Now, I guess you think you're smart,
don’t you ? I’d bust you over the jaw for
live cents, 1 would. You don’t know a
good dorg when you see h’m, you don’t.’—
And lie went out, after ripping the palings
oft’ the fence.
In about a half hour the." l was another
ring at the bell, i went down. There was
a man with six dogs, of a variety of breeds.
‘Wh wh which of Yin's him, b b boss,’
said this fellow, f.r he stuttered as if he
would strangle on a small syllable’
‘Neither ot them.’
‘Y you said his n na uarno was J Jack,
and didn’t yon V
‘Yes, that’s it.’
«w well, then, wh wb what d’ye call tli
that V says lie as be sung out, ‘Jack!’ and
the whole six dogs looked up and wagged
their tails like a lot of spavined oxen in fly
time,
‘Why, I call it confounded nonsense to
expect me to take the whole six dogs because
they're named Jack. I don’t want to start
a sausage mill, you understand. Mince
moat isn’t in my line.”
»‘\V Wflbain't yon going to . .ko him?!
•Certainly not; do you a appose 1 am a
gibbering idiot
•\V w w well, you sh shan't have him
Wow if you want him. 1w w wouldn't
trust a ueeent and dog with a in .n like you
anyway.’
And the six canines Ic'd into line and
trotted down the street after him.
I had not got fairly into Iho house before
there was another ring. Seedy looking man
'with a semi decayed yellow dog. 11 is i'ibs
stuck out so that he looked as if lie had
gorged himself with a spiral spring,
‘You advertised for a dog, 1 believe ?—-
Well, l caught him around herein the alley
after a desperate struggle. Fine dog, sir.’
‘Well, I don’t think hois, lie looks to
me as if he wasn’t well. He etherial
for this world, young man, depend upon
it..’
‘Oh, not tit all, sir. Only shedding liis
coat, sir; all good dogs do it at this time of
year. Bee that, sir,’ said this seedy Caucas
ian, holding the dog by the cuff of the
neck. ‘See how lie yelps; that’s a sign of
pluck ; that dog would fight a million wilds
eats, lie would, and lick ’em, too, sir.’
‘Get out!’ 1 exclaimed, and the dog put
bis tail between his legs ami ran for tin:
gate.
‘See that, sir ? see that?’ said the man,
ns he seized him, ‘that’s a sign lie’s well
trained; no raw dog behaves like that, I
want you to know. Now, s’pose you fork
over that five.’
‘Not much! I don’t want him, my
friend.’
‘You won’t do it? Well, then, take him
for seventy-five cents, and say no more
about it. lie’s a valuable animal. You 11
never got another such a chance.’
‘I tell vou T won’t have him.’
‘Well, don’t then,’ said the man, as he
kicked the animal over on my flower pots
and broke three of them, while the brute
dashed madly down the middle of the
street.
Just then a big ruffian in a slouch hat
came up with a bull dog, sprung in the
knees, and lamenting the entire loss of his
tail. When the ruffian spoke to him lie
wagged the whole of the last half of him.
‘l’ve brought that ore dog,’was the ob
servation made by the ruffian, ‘’and I’ll fing
er them there stamps, I reckon.’
‘My friend,” said I, that is not my dug.’
‘Yes, it is, though.’
‘But it is not.’
‘But don’t I tell you it is ? Didn’t you
say the tip of his tail was gone ? Well, jest
look at him, will you ?’
Well, I won’t have him, anyhow."
“You waut to cheat me, do you ? I’ll fix
you. 8 sick him, Bull!’ said the outrage
ous ruffian, as the dog flew at ;ue giving me
barely time to get inside and shut the door
on his frontispiece. 1 guess 1 squeezed the
nose off of that dog. * But the man cursed
me for about five minutes and then flung n
brick at the door and went away.
In less than twenty minutes another ring.
Small pock-marked man in a red shirt this
time. Had a speckled dog that looked as
if he had been out without an umbrella
when if was ruining ink Says this victim
of the small- pox :
‘You know the dog you ndvcriim 1 for?
Well, here he is ?’
‘0 pshaw !* said I,‘you know that isn’t
my dog."
‘Your name’s Quill, ain’t it V
'll i«/ said I.
pawr® ?|TlflTgl!i i Pf|Tfr (T jt (JCfwmmm
li\ 8. >i. ('AIM’KNTFiR.I
‘Well, then, this here is the. dog. lie’s
the best ratter you overseen. Slings linen
around like he was umuMii hissell, he does,
and—’
‘But lie is uot my dog.’
‘And lie’s a bully watch dog. Look at j
him! Leek at him now —lie's Matching |
now ! Why, lie’ll sit there and waleh, and j
natch, uutil he goes stone blind he will, j
lie'll watch all night if yen only let him. I
You never see a watcher like him. T guess j
I’ll jest chain him up while you go in and
get the V.”
‘No. you needn't’ said I. ‘l'll blow his
brains out if ymi don’t take him away.’
‘Well, say, stranger. 1m a litt lo strapped
to-dav ; jest lend me five on him this morn
ing, m ill you ? I’ll pay you hack to-morrow.’
•See here, now, you just get out, of here
or I'll take the hide elf of you,’ l said for
1 bt gan to get excited, you know.’
‘Aw! you* ain’t worth a cent, you
actually ain’t’ said the peek marked man as !
lie walked off, after clipping the dog over
the head with one of my fence palings, and
■'flu n putting his fingers to his nose.
Not a moment after, "p came a man with
a mastiff big a-- a small horse.
“Say, boss, 1 want that five,’ Was all he
remarked by way of introducing the sub
ject.
‘Well, you can’t got it, and if you don’t
leave I’ll call the police,’ / exclaimed, in
despair.
“Watch him, Z\\)V said the man instant
ly, and the dog flow at mo, threw me down,
and bit a slice of muscle out of my leg and
disfigured my nose for life. Then the as
sassin who Owned him called him oil, and
went sway laughing.
I didn’t answer tiny more rings that day,
but about I o’clock in the afternoon 1 look
ed out of the second story window, and the
yard was full of men with all kinds of dogs.
Jil ack dogs, white dogs, yellow dogs, varie
gated dogs, flea-bitten dugs with tails, dogs
without tails, rat terries, bull pups, poodles,
fox hounds, spaniels, Newfoundlanders,
mixed breeds, setters, pointers, and a mul
titude of ether varieties, all growling, yelp
ing, harking, snapping, and jumping about
until there wasn’t a flower pot left in the
place, and the noise was worse than a me-'
lingerie at tuea! time.
I haven't got my dog yet. I don't want
Turn, either 1 don’t care if 1 never see
another dog between this and the silent
grave I only wish that all the dogs frnjti
here, (o .Russian America were collected in
to a convention, and hold of that man with
the mastiff, that they might gnaw on him
until! Itohadn’t u mei.a 1 -1 and Id? oho
,-keut.oi. 'Flint ;.!! 1 waAt 111 the deg
dec ill this world.
llerriil Mill'd*'!.'.
Capt. 11. If. Fletcher, onoof our best eit.
zens, was waylaid six miles from this place
on the Culbbert Road, and murdered, on
Tuesday, the 11 th tilt. It soepftfl that the
weapon used was a shot gun, loaded with
large shot, eight id which-'entered his neck,
killing him instantly. t)nc white man and
sonic negroes saw tlrfl man who fired the
gun running off in the bushes.
The day bolero this occurrence Captain
/'"etcher laid u difficulty with a matt named
John Lee, late ol West /'lomln, “almost a
stranger in this country,’ "which Jte regard
ed as hut a slight affair, until inAnTnud by a
friend that this man Leo hatj a
. aid ii. ,1 I j i v. his int
to attack him. Rapt. F. remarked thfllMjc
did not think there was much
od on to the the place v.hcrfl he. was finish
ing a bridge across tie iNoehaway
and, with iiis hands, was returning homo tn
the evening, when the font deed was perpg*
trated. This man Leo went liOMMJ, twill a !
young matt lie had omployud" **f. 'afi
revenge—he had shot the feltow-ritil. did
not know win tlier or not be *uj killed him
—that ho hoard hiiu fall troiif hfs horse,
aud that lie must lonye tlMrjountry, and
wanted to borrow all the money lie had- —
lie left on loot, in the night, (about fifteen
minutes before a jaosso of men arrived at
his huusc for the purpose e 4 .arresting him.
110 was closely pursued hfid arrested in
Randolph county, and brought to this
place.
On being arrested, the party arresting
him remarked “that he lmd killed a very
fine citizen.” Ilia reply was, “ l et., and 1
would do it again under the same circum
stances.”
It is proper lo add that politics had noth
ing to do with this unfortunate affair. —
J ourH<tl.
Leo lias since been tried : eleven for mur
der, and one for voluntary manslaughter—
a mis-triaL
Nkwbfavkh Decisions. —Any person
who takes a paper regularly from the post
office, tor three issues, whether directed to
his name or another, or whether he has sub
scribed or not, is responsible lot the pay.—
If a person orders his paper disccmtiued, ho
must pay all arrearages or the publishers
may continue to send it until payment is
made, and collect the whole amount, wheth
er it is taken from the office or not. The
courts have decided that refusing to take
newspapers and periodicals from the post
offieo, or removing and leaving them uncal
led for, is prima-facie ovidenco of iutciition-
Ia! fraud. I’ostmasters are required to inform
the. publisher wlmn any paper is refused at
their office. Falling to do so immediately
the postmaster becomes responsible for the
pay. This is the law.
The test of an erg i. to hold it to the
! light from a dark plaoe—in a dark zoom to
Ia candle, or in both hands tUutiol form, to
, the window by day—if it shows a yelk
! color it is good ; if opaque throw it away.
Aiwa)- be Cool when you find your elf iu
• a hot place.
“Oar (L ountrj)—m;m sbe altos bt JJigjjMiut gigbt or tffltroug, <!;% tfoiiiiln).”
HLHKRTON, (lEOtt'ilA, FRIDAY JUNK 25 1.800.
Tlir ( letuttra <tl Power li» Eu
rope
Wonderful indeed have been the oliVves
of power among the nations of Kut“ju'
Who, not Well conversant with hi<v y,
would imagino that two of the leading t
mo; t powerful countries upon the cottfitfinf
are the creations ol the lust century mil n
half. Before Fetor the (.treat, who died Ft
172 ft, there was no Bitssia known to eivilj
Ration. Prussia was almost, it not entirely
the work of thi' gioat Frederick, who corns I
moneod his reign in 1710.
H bat would now be a I‘inropean ballanei)'
of power which did not take into account,
these two mighty military tnr.narohics? Em-1
pires, even mote than civilizations, hunt
their changes and vicissitudes. '1 hrou him*
died years ago the sovereignty of the world
was divided between the powers of Spain
and Austria. Tltero was then no great
Britain. Scotland had its separate King
and Parliament. Ireland was by no means
subdued. England was of but little more
importance as a great power than Sweden
or Holland are now. Tito power of Franco,
which, if united, would have boon formid
able, was entirely frittered away in the re i
ligious wars between the Frotcstaut Hugue
nots.
There was no Italy, for it was parceled
out among Iho foreign powers. There was
no Holland or Belgium, fur they were churn
ed by, and belonged to Bpain. Russia and
Prussia, as we have shewn, wore not in ex
istence. The i’nitod States were net oven
then iu embryo. A century later till this
was changed. England, Scotland and Ire
land have been consolidated into u llulled
Kingdom. The genius of a great man,
Oliver Cromwell, lmff made it a formidable
power. The statecraft of Cardinals Riche
lieu and Mazaritt, united to the ability ol
Ljuis XIV., had made /Tattoo not only a
great, hut a tremendously great power. Bite
threatened all Europe, and was only pre
vented by Jfrittttin, Austria, Holland and
Belgium from obtaining universal dominion.
Spain was rapidly losing her prestige. Bo
closed the seventeenth century.
Another hundred years witnessed the on
tration ot Prussia and Russia into the Eu
ropuan system as great powers. Spun was
lading away in the dim distance as a bald
ing nation. The power of thu house of
Austria was declining. Tim Z'nitcd Stales,
cradled in revolution, had been weaned front
the colonial estate, and were taking a prop
er position as a power of the immediate lit
tore, if not of the present. France, mulei
ll e oid r< ime, was losing its power and im
ponum.e, , t tt.u. e \Un;', i • v- v,
vitals. It 'l ined likely to follow in the
path of Spain.
Then catim ihoYevulntion of 1780, I’ltc it
thunder-clap, or liN»' a J'.girado upon the
civilized world. a to w politi
cal birth.. Bite again became, utiuei demy,
emtio energy, thu first flower of tlm eonti
nent. Her main edfecks were Russia and
Prussia, countries that had only appeared
just below the political horizon. Tlteir
power, however, mpidly increased, lit tt
tew years these new adherents to civilized
powers, in connection with Great Britain,
entered Paris, and, if disposed, eftuld have
blotted out /’ranee fruyi tbo 1 if;v ol the
great powers.
The loading European nations were then
Groat Britain, Russia, Austria, Prussia tied
.’’ranee. How rapid was the advance of
Prussia ! In 1 72'), as wo liavu
iissto was in her feeble inioiicy.
Him Cossacks of the Russian Don
U 4 Paris, the hoadquartots of Eu
. W oiv ilizutiuii. /n the succeeding year
the’ Prussian hussnrs, under lllueher, after
tnlcampaign of Waterloo iu 18I'd, entered
the 7‘TOiclt ctmitul.
jpEifty'years have parsed since thou.—
Train o is now one of the leading powers of
Europe. Italy has boon reconstructed, and
is utJwfimo of the great powers of the con
tinent. The whole world has been changed.
Those who once governed its destinies are
impotent, and those who were once impo
tent tiro now ail powerful.-*- CYAAi.
... v 4t»+
Some years ago, so the story goc;>, a far
mer living not a thousand miles from New
York, gave one of his sons some money, and
told him to go West and remain two years,
st the end of which time, if lie would re
turn to a specified place, one of his brothers
would moot him. The young man wont,
an retured aud met his brother according
to appointment, although t.o communication
had taken place between them during the
time. While going homo together the
wanderer, alter relating some of his adven
tures, inquired whether anything had hap
pened since ho left home for the IVcat ?
“No, not a single thing,” mid the other,
“cverthiug is just the some as when you
left—except that the old crow died.”
“Indeed,” said the wanderer, “trad is (ho
old crow dead—wliut killed him?”
“Why he ute too much moat when iho
matched horses died.:’
“Good gracious ' are tho matched horses
dead, wlmt killed them?"
“Well, you see when thu house and ham
burned, they overdid themselves in hauling
water.”
“Good gracious ! arc the house trad barn
burned down—how did it happen ?”
“Well, you see when daddy died they |
Were carrying tho lights around and wore !
careless.”
“Good gracious ! and is daddy dead—
what was the mutter with him ?”
•‘Well, you see when Sal ran away and
got married against daddy's whishes, lie just
pitied away and died - ”
“Good racious Iso nothing has happen
ed since I’ve boon away l"
“No, uvertliing is just tho -into !”
To tho public.—Any person having a tew
minut i to : pare, is respectfully requested
to send them to our ofliee, where they will
bo thankfully ree.ivod. “Time is money,"
mid “every lit! h. ’p.
Tlie Tux Hill.
Somebody proposes the following now
amendments to the tax hill:
For kissing a pretty girl, one dollar.
For kisssing ti homely otto two dollars the
extra amount being added probably for the
man’s folly.
For tadies kissing one another, two dot"
lavs. The tax is plaeetl'at litis rate iu order
to break up the custom* altogether, it being
regarded layout' M. I'.Vits.ti piece of Inox
t usable absurdity.. , ‘ ’ \
/’or ev.cry flirtation, trn cents. '
Every young man who has more flipn otto
girl is taxed five dollars.
For courting in the kitchen, twenty ILy*)
M
* jJWdtikoni uhureh without tioooinpany
log ti hiSy, five dollars.
Seeing tt lady home Irotii the Mine So
ok ly, live emits —Tim proceeds to bo do
vttoU to the relit tof disabled army chaps
ltnt'jfe
Eor Ladies who paint, fifty cents.
/br .wearing tt low-nocked dress, one del
lai\ ■
I >r each curl on a lady's head above ten,
livdpojts.
/'or uov unfair device forentvapping men
into liuttimony, five dollarsi
/fio' weaving hoops larger than eight foot
in otrcuiufereueo. eight vents for ouch l^iop.
Olt btiohclors over thirty tiro taxed ton
dollar , ami banished to t tr.li.
Eaih pretty lady is lo bo taxed twenty.
five clots ‘o twenty-live dollars j oho is to
fix tho estimate ot"Vr own beauty. It is
thongl t a very largo amount is to bo realiz
od lro! i this provision.
Kno) boy baby, fitly omits.
Kitoi girl baby, ton omits.
/anilies having moro tbnu eight babies
ttru notVo bo taxed ; unit lor twins a pro
minUin if forty dollars will bo paid out of
(bo fituis uemuing from tux on old bache
lors, 1
P.aohmnduy loafer on tho street cornor
or about! (dm, eb doors to bo taxed liis vtil*
no, whivb is about two cents.
1—
’i’ll*' «>l Four Lieut Men.
'Fluidutil' eonqtior.irs wlmooottpy tho tnosl
eons|WutVi places in the history of the
world are, Alexander, lltuinibal, Etesttr and
liotiaputtol
Alt satidor, uf.cv havingolitnhml thedlttr.y
hr.cloy II ] .la iniou, With liis tOlllpluS
b'MM.’ uA •!. y’,j >d e Fhe lie.. I el’
miri'ni ,T) I,l'd. ,1 ctelvu upon a euiiqinueii
Mon ~ tiod w. pt Fuat tltero was not tray
ether fetid ibr 1 * tin lo eotiqtn r, set ncily on
liie, met tiled iu a mine of debauch.
ii.u : .11, after imuop;, b> the Ufttout.'h
n:ont ami coi'bternulioh of Rente, pasta" 1
tho A’| i and having put to flight lira ar
mies of tho mistress id' the world, and strip
ped “litre© btishidrt ol gold rings from tint
Unger* of iter slaughtered knights,” and
made hot fouittlalioua quake, tlud from his
country, being haled by llraso who nnott oxs
ultingf, ariitoil bis itame lo that of tlioir
g.od, and oalletl him llaui-linal: and died
at lust by poison administered with liis own
bund, unlumcutod and unwept, in n foreign
land.
Cai-tit:, after having onnquorod eight hun
dred cities, aud dyeing his garments in lira
blood of one million of bis foes, alter hav
ing pursued to death lira only rival ho had
on onrih, was miswably assassinated by those
Ira ei'msid'ored his nonrost ftiontls, and in
that very plaoo the attainment ot'which
had been bo; greatest ambition.
Botnparte, whoso mandates kings and
popes übeytsd, after having tilled the earth
with tho terror of liis uuino—alter Iniving
deluged Europe with tout's mid blood, and
clothed tho world iu snckolotli —closed liis
days !tt lonely banishment, almost literally
c.'Jtlod from the world, yet whore lie coiilu
sometimes see liis country’s Imtinor waving
over the depot, but wlneli did not and could
not bring him aid.
Thus those four groat men, who seemed
to stand tlm representative! of nil those
whom the world calls great- those lour men,
who ouoli in thru made the earth tremble
to its very centre, bv tlioir simple trend,
severally died—otto by intoxication or, as
Yvu* supposed, by poison mingled with his
wine—one a nuici(le«sono murdered by liis
ft;ictuts trad one a lonely exile! How
wretched in the end of u!I w’V earthly
greatness 1
Popular Eititoit*.—To think that the
more a man outs, tho fatter and stronger he
will become.
To believe (but lira more hours children
study, tbo faster limy learn.
To conclude, that il exercise i* good, tho
limit violent*lt is, the more good is done.
T«. imagino that every hour taken from
/dcup in an hour gained.
lo'nct on the presumption that tho small
est room in the house is largo enough to
sleep iu.
To argue that whatever remedy causes
one to feel immediately better, is good for
tho system, without regutd to more ulterior
offset a.
To eat without an appetite, or to con tin
no to eat after it has been satisfied, merely
to gratify tho taste.
'J u eat a hearty suppor for the pleasure
experienced during the brief time il it. is
passing down the. throat, at the expen e of a
whole night of disturbed sloop, trad a weary
waking in the morning.— Bouton Journal ft
Clicmirtiy.
— — - ♦ *• --
A Lawk'h Man.—We uskod a friend u
day or two agu about u gentleman who bad
just left him. Mr. 1 ho answered,‘ho
is onoof those follrws that tho ladies think
m, imieli of—they are all on excellent terms
j with him, you know —they ask him to go
places with them and when they get there
they talk with somebody else."
IVOR IV7--NO. 20
Tlie ri*‘n.
IIV JIN<!O,
will I, K HE WAS UNt'Elt THE INSPIRATION
OE 1118 R'IMF'T.
The 11 ec iz a uoomerotts bu;;g—esprsliily
in Jitno. Tho origin ov this bugg iz'iailod
in mistry. Bwedouburg sez he originated
in It—ll. I wish he werjliar.now, if 1 ntav
use the expreshun. 1 kuthrat' lull oYit \vitlt
itaelmre or eny otra elso I’er L. eopatrinaion
but 1 du say i wist' edw had made .bins ;t
Jiltlo eltJtnJei' ill ' ' *
«■. A'©*' tfWTO'tnT!Vovygij bung. Ho h ro
,spk«kfuljy rVferred trmfi the Boriptures,
WmwJi faith,■■“tbo wlokwl fine when nu man
pursUoth,” which remaik ur vqtiilly apply'-
kttble to sum 0 or a ball dttzin now in my
Intle which 1 kannot now ]niisue. Tho flee
lie i also jump PdUU times his own length
without dtnu lie I Is. This tire sum jumping
this iz!
The (tttbjook ov these pltew remark* iz
sod lit ltav a poooollar nlleekshin for die
boag. But wften wo amtlize tlie matter WO
find ho only uses tho hegg tu ’vide on bis
buck Into tno human fumiloe, wieli he likes
better than tho ltogg familee.
One flee can usually bo found at sever'd
plaees at oiiet, but yu very selilum ketch
him at any ov them. El' you do, you are
smarter tlmo I, mul 1 will give yu a chew
ov 2d handed juice ex I meted torbuckuw on
demand. Even so!
Tho following remedy Ibr tbo (leo I ltayo
ttown ter Hukseod. It. is onuvailabul, how
ever. till your (leo iz knuglil.
1. Entangle your 1100 in his I ggs lo pre
vent tseape.
2. l'l ace him onroluliy on your left
tliuiu nale.
11. Plaoo the right. Ilmtn tittle on lt'iu.
4. Mash like 2 millstones.
Your flee iz then usually found Iu boded,
darned and doluuot, except enulV for bis
pielor under a mikerskopo.
hi Oil Story.
Bam Black, who owned a tiling little farm,
was somewhat startled one day by an offer
ot more than twice iho worth of it in green
backs,
“Shall yen sell lira farm, Samuel?” uskod
his wife.
“Ecrtninly 1 shall,” said Sum, “il tho ex
cited individuals don't hack out or prove to
boa couple of escaped lunatics, ns I linlf sup
pose (Item to bo.”
A fin ite bargain wax made and the mom i
ay J r.. >oira ot moil* foul* Bum ami flu* WjJii
to tin- hark part of lira farm, whore wiTsT"
small excavation in the ground filled up by
tbo recent, rain.
“800 what you’ve lost and we've gained,"
raid lira excited individual scooping up some
of the water in uu old tin cup, and holding
it for inspection*
Bure etiOUgll'the oil was ball'tut inch thick
on lira top 01/lbo water.
Ham was izMignant. If ho hadn’t been n
foul, us lie said to bis wife, and bail wntoli
ml lor indications, ho might have died a
inillionait'o.
Sum's wilb wan bursting with laughter,
hut coimtrtiining homill, slio coaxed her
luisbatiil into the house and told him the
whole story.
“You remember when 1 had my cough
last, winter and l lie doctor recoin mended
cud liver oil, Bam, ami you brought homo a
whole gallon boouuno you got it cheap, and
made me protniHO to take a dose throe times
a day? Well, I didn't und it stood in the
(doNot, until I cleaned the bouse, when I
threw it into the bole lit lira foot ol tbo
garden
Ham flow lira joke and pocketed tho cream
of it in tlm ftitupo of a pile ol greenbacks.
At last accounts, Bum wan living in clo
vor, while tho hunters were industriously
boring—and may bo until t hi,-; time for all
wo know.
Dat’h Wot 1 Sj'Ket.—hi the olden time
when tho planters wore less thoughtful for
the corporeal health of tho slaves, Eolottol
Ramsey siDv liis hny, Dim (aged forty) going
otto morning, lliblo in hand, to cliurclr—
Knowing that Dun was not a porsofl will)
strong literary proclivit ie s the Colonel said :
“Wlmt are you doing with that Bible’
Duo—you can’t toad it. i’
“No, mossn, can’t ’zaelly read 'em, out 1
ennspell ’em out a little.”
“What's the use ol' spoiling it out? You
euu't n.iulofstaiid it any way. Tho Bible,
fur iustauoe, says that. ‘the. very hairs on
pur bead are numbered,” Now you lmvi »*’t
any hail' on your bead—nothing but wool.
Wlmt do you say to that V
“Yes, iiiassu, 1 ’spoof dat’s so ; but 1 spell
out one little verse, which say dal ou las’
day do sheep iley go one side und do goats
on tedder. Now do sheep lias do wool, but
do goals iley got liar just like white folks;
and I ’spool iley ain't gwitra to bo saved—
dal’s wot I ’speed.” „
■*«',
A Staumik Adventure. — Mv, Rodblo.v
Horn drank more than hi* usual allowance of
hut rum and sugar, one cold night, the eou
s(!(|ueiieo of which was, lto gave his wile a
rather confused uccount of liis conduct, on
his return home. “Mr. Smith's grocery
store invited mo to go ami drink cousin Hum,
and you see, tho weather was dry—and I
was very sleepy—so I said 1 didn’t mind
punching one drink—nod's queer how my
head went into the punch though 1
The way home was so dizzy', tint' I slip
ped upon a little dog—the corner of the
street hit mo--and uu old gentleman with
cropped ears and a brass collar ou bis neck,
said ho belonged to Iho dog—/ was- -you
undos,ssand —ic—that is, l don’t know noth,
ing more about.”
An editor says that when Itc was in pris
on tor libelling a Justice of the ’’('at''', bo
was requested by the jaitor "to ;;iv the
prison a puff."
J’llid ci A Z IdTT Id
JOB OFJ 'ICi: is COMPLETE, AAD
\\ i« hit jhcjeucil to do all kinds ot‘
JOB WORK
in ill,. 1,..nt, i ylc, trail on reiieouulil • term*
I.IUUI AI. VIl: I I MINI fNsKHTXn AS SOLI.UW* :
[ ,-
