Newspaper Page Text
VOL. V.-NO. 10.
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
Li"UT. Danknhower has accepted
about twenty invitations to deliver his
Arctic lecture.
The Lord Chancellor of England re
ceives a salary equal to that of the
President of the United States.
The story that President Arthur’s son
is engaged to the daughter of Congress
man C’.owley is officially denied.
The registration in New York City for
the first day this year exceeds that on
first day last year, by about 20,000.
Miss La Forge, who was betrothed to
Lieutenant Chipp, of the Jeannette, has
died insane with grief at his unhappy
fate.
« »
Brazil has ratified a treaty with
China permitting Chinese emigration.
The Chinese are needed for coffee plan
tations.
The Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon has of
late been suffering severely from the
gout. He is about to leave London for
Mentcne.
Governor Crittenden, of Missouri,
denies the story that he introduced
Frank Janies to Mrs. Crittenden as his
“friend.”
The Dr.ke of Athole plants every year
from 61X3,000 to 1,000,000 trees. He is
said t>j be the most extensive tree-planter
in Pae world.
Senator Pendleton’s new house on
Sixteenth street, Washington, has mas
sive gilded sunflowers at thq top of the
lightning-rods.
Senator Hale, of Maine, is in such
poor health that he will be unable to
take any further active part in this fall’s
political contests.
Miss Mary Hill has been admitted to
the Connecticut bar by the Supreme
( ourt of that State, and is the first of
her sex to gain that distinction.
Hon. Alexander Mackenzie, ex
' re , m l er of the dominion, has been pre
ent i with an address and a purse
1 jGning §5,500 by his old constituents
o ae County of Lambton, Ontario.
It is related that when a young man,
in General Robert Toombs’ presence,
objected to Milton’s “Paradiso Lost,”
that it was obscura, Toombs said with
P l .' • Milton was blind ;he couldn’t
see to Tvrite for fools,’’
One of Arabi’s tents at Tel 01-Kebir
as hned with crimson damask silk ;
the other was embroidered with forget
me-n' cs, pomegranate s aud other fruits,
a manner which would put some tine
needlework associations to the blush.
The colossal statue of Lord Beacons
hcld which is to be set up in Parliament
square, London, this winter, will repre
sent the deccas d statesman at that
period of his career when he returned
triumphant from the Congress of Berlin.
Mrs. Amanda Smith, who was once a
m Delaware, and who is well
known in many churches in this coun
try, has reached Monrovia, Liberia, af
work T T’ ° f BUooeßßful evangelistic
Indies Gr ° at Bntain aud th ” East
EmflnrH 18 ” aid f ° be ? rowin g in favor in
the Nortl snbstitute for beer, and
been b' * ern Railway Company has
one i,?? i' J 8 a laTge herd of cows - 500 in
sunnlv ?n 8e ’ PropOßing hen ceforth to
haveLn m ’ k t 0 thirßty travelers, who
nave no recourse except beer.
—
twt nri ISBIS / IPP? gentleman has offered
kTd , eS 7 tho State Fair_a box of
ried 1 C i° F tbe handsomest unmar-
X wi ■ an( a gallon of whisky to the
peranco. Wnteß th ® best eBBa J on tem-
one * lls ‘ d,ildß are virtual owners of
of the Nhe T^ tn \ landß . in th ° DelU
bonHa • Their share m Egyptian
” a popularly estimated at
ihat fl U GU ' lOllß au ti-Semite calculates
Roth, .v, , ln . COme of Baron Wilhelm
nine i r' W abou t T2B per hour, or
QlUe 8 n h’igs per minute.
ihe”cmi'' ,r, \ St ° ry going the rounds of
because i e " 18 that Arabi surrendered
“be Kto ra i T]," a r r Bufferin « from pains in
Wied «,’s- n 1R Baidto have tele
fol lr Garnet Wolseley: “As
’bortl v aV p gO r d doct °rs, will join you
» XCai h *’ e
Rhode T.i i’ 1 , the Spragues, of
val < n faile<l - They had asU
while their lial.il
unt V OOO ; 000 th ’
- “t. The estate was put in the
klnllon Clujim.
| hands of an assignee, and it was hoped
that in two or three years all ffiaiffis
1 would be pitied oil greatly reduced, but
one Ibgrtl c implication after another has
Followed. The many suits which have
be >n passed upon by the courts have not
been adjusted with much consistency,
I and to-day the property is in more of a
I tangle than ever,
An Erie, Pennsylvania, physician and
I chemist, Dr. Lovett; is Credited with
I hscovering a prdeess of embalming
| which Consists of placing in a coffin
from which the air has been exhausted,
| several ingredients, that being dissolved
■by electricity fill the vacuum with a
preservative gas. The body of a young
child in the first stages of decomposition
has already been preserved nearly two
months without change, decay being ar
rested and the odor of decomposition
destroyed. He also claims it as a pre
servative of meat, his experiments so far
having been Successful. The gas is not
injurious to food nor to water.
The new census of London, shoeing
the population to be 4,704,312 souls, has
drawn out from Land, the English
journal, some striking contrasts. “There
are,” it says, “in London more than"
double the number of people in Den
mark, including Greenland; nearly three
times as many as in Greece; more than
eighteen times the population of Monte
negro; some thousands more than Portu
gal, including the Azores and Maderia;
nearly treble the population of Servia;
more than double that of Bulgaria;
three-quarters of a million more than in
Holland; more than Sweden, or Norway,
or Switzerland.” “Aud yet,” adds the
same paper “this splendid capital, the
most populous and wealthy city the
world has ever seen, is practically with
out a government. ”
Plant Growth Viewed as to Time.
Plants are arranged in three groups
as to their period of existence, namely:
Annual, biennial, perennial; that is,
whether they live for one, two, or more
thantwoyqpß. The natural beginningof
a e 1-bearingplant is tbegrowth from
the seed, or germination. The early
life of all plants in the three groups is
very much the same. It is an enlarge
ment of the embryo, or young plantlet,
that was formed in the seed before it was
separated from the mother plant. This
first growth is at the expense of food
that was packed away with the embryo,
either within or around its thickened
seed leaves, and both the plant and the
food that is to nourish its first
growth are surrounded by protective
coverings, called the seed coats. Germi
nation, though a complicated chemico
vital process, is in essence the forc
ing of the young plant from its sur
rounding coverings and the establish
ment of itself in the soil and the sunshine.
This is a process that is common to all
plants that grow from seeds. The be
ginningof an independent existence is
the formation of a seed, and with the
seeds the cycle is completed. The aim
of every plant is the multiplication and
perj etnation of its kind, and as the seed
is the common form in which plant
units are cast oft, it is clear that in the
formation of seed we have the end
toward which vegetation tends.
In the annual plant the whole round
of life is completed in a single year; ft
germ nates, develops its system of
roots, stems and leaves, produces its
flowers and perfects its offspring—the
seed, all within the compass of a single
year. With this work done the old
plant dies. In the 1 iennial the method
is somewhat different. The first year is
devoted to the work of accumulating
material out of which the plant makes
its seeds the following year. Compared
with the annual there is an unusual de
velopment of roots and foliage, and to
ward the end of summer, a storing up
of a large amount of concentrated food
in some part of the plant. Contrast the
barley plant with its short life of a few
months, and simple straightforwardness
in all its processes, with the carrot,
turnip or beet, which has a large root
system and many leaves, for the first
year, and an accumulation of starch,
sugar, etc., in the main root, at the end
of the season. No seeds have been
formed, and the end of the plant's exist
ence has not been reached. The next
season the fleshy root sends up a lower
stem, and the store of organic matter,
starch, etc., that was made the previous
season is used up in the formation and
perfecting a large number of seeds.
The original plant loses its life in the
production of many offspring or seeds.
In the third class is included all of
our trees and shrubs, and a vast number
of herbs that are known by the general
term of perennials. They grow on
from year to year, and in most eases
have no definite time in which to com
plete the cycle. The first year of the
young tree, maple or oak, is materially
diherent trom that of the annual oats or
biennial beet; its time for getting ready
for the production of seed is lengthened
out through several years. After the
time for the bearing of offspring has
come, centuries may pass before death
ensues, in each year of with h, if condi
tions are favorable, seeds may be
formed. The process may be so slow
that more than a single season is re
quired for the growth and perfection of
it, seed.— American Agriculturist.
—The Pennsylvania Academy of Fine
Arts is said to own the finest collection
of costumes in the United States.
DALTON, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 21. 1882.
Thd Mohey-Crtler Systeni.
The Superintendent of the Money-
Order Division of the Post-office Depart
ment sent out on Saturday an order that
hereafter, when a money -order has re
mained sixty days in a post-office with-*
out payment being demanded, the post*
blaster shall send a private notice to the
payee; if his address is knoWn, inform
ing him of the fact arid giving the namd
and address of the remitter. Thepavee
is requested by the circular to present
the corresponding order for payment,
if it is in his possession; or, if it has not
been received, to obtain it, if practica
ble, from, the remitter, and, in the event
Os its loss in transit or otherwise, to sug
gest to the remitter that he make appfl-*
cation for a duplicate.
This circular is a new departure in the
policy of the Money-Order Division, and
is one that ought to have been made
years ago. Had it been adopted on the
start, there would not now be in the
Treasury to the credit of the money
order systeni the great sum of over a
million and a quarter of dollars, the ac
cretion of money-orders remaining un
paid. Not a dollar of this fund belongs
to the Government. It belongs to peo
ple who paid for orders, which, largely
through the defects of the postal sys
tem, did not reach the persons to whom
they were sent. It may safely be said
that nine-tenths of this sum could have
been made to reach the payees, or could
have been returned to the remitters, had
not a policy of concealment been adopt
ed. Instead of seeking earnestly either
to pay the money to the payees or re
turn it to the remitters, a rule was
adopted forbidding a postmaster, under
penalty of dismissal, to furnish the very
information now ordered to be given by
the new circular.
If the department is content with the
present step, it will fail to do all that it
should do to stop such a wrongful deten
tion of the people’s money. It is evi
dent that the payee of an unpaid order
may be out of reach after sixty daj s,
and so may never receive his notice.
In such a case, after the lapse of another
thirty days, the remitter should be no
tified that the money he has deposited
remains unpaid. As of course the
payee has the first claim to payment, it
would be necessary to provide that
some set time—perhaps six months ad
ditional—should elapse before a repay
ment was made to the remitter.
Nor should the effort to be honest stop
here. Every means should be taken by
publication of lists and otherwise faith
fully to disburse the fund now on band
before passing a law to cover it into the
Treasury. In every other respect the
money-order system is a model of pre
cision and effectiveness, and even in the
matter of this lapsed order fund it is
probably less at fault than any other sys
tem in the world, and the step it has
now taken is one in advance of most
other systems. But nothing can be said
in favor of covering such a fund into
the Treasury until every means has
been exhausted to find the real owners
cf it.— W ashington Cor. N. F. Evening
Post.
Stick to the Broomstick.
Did you ever see a woman throw a
stone at a hen? It is one of the most
ludicrous scenes in every-day life. We
recently observed the process—indeed
we paid more attention than the hen
did. for she did not mind it at all and
laid an egg the next day as if nothing
had happened. In fact, that hen will
now know for the first time that she
served in the capacity of a target. The
predatory fowl had invaded the pre
cincts of the flower bed, and was in
dustriously pecking and scratching foi
the nutritous seed or the early worm,
blissfully unconscious of impending
danger. The lady now appeared upon
the scene with a broom. T his she drops
and picks up a rocky fragment of the
Silurian age, then makes her first mis
take—they all do it—of seizing the pro
jectile with the wrong hand. T hen, with
malice aforethought, she makes the
further blunder of swinging her arms
perpendicularly instead of horizontally
—thereupon the stone flies through the
air, describing an irregular elliptical
curve, and strikes the surface of the
earth as far from the hen as the
thrower stood at the time, in
a course due west from the
same, the hen then bearing by the
compass north-north-east by half cast.
At the second attempt the. stone narrow
ly missed the head of the thrower her
self, who, seeing any further attempt
would be suicidal, did what she might
have done first, started after the hen
•with an old and familiar weapon. The
moral of which is: Stick to the broom
stick. — Providenee He raid.
A Frightful Leap.
The other night a passenger changing
cars at Harper’s Ferry was leaning
against the railing on the river side,
when a train came along, and, fearing
he might not be safe, he sprang lightly
over the railing, having mistaken the
river, as he afterward stated, for a
meadow. His stunning amazement
may be better imagined than described
when, after a fall of thirty or forty feet,
he sank in ten feet of muddy, swiit
running water. He, however, had suffi
cient presence of mind to keep his head
above water, and was carried down to
the bridge, where he drifted against a
pier, and, climbing to a ledge, cal’cd
for help. When he was rescued he re
fused to tell anything about himself.
Fortunately, the river was high, as gen
erally the spot where he fell is bare,
and had it been so then he would have
been killed.
■—A writer in Ysletta. El Faso C< im
ty, Tex., claims tba.' place was ct ’.<l
as early as 1540, and that the <1 ed.s Io
the church property in the place are 15‘*
years old.
Professional Wailings Over Funerals.
In the wilds of Kerry Patch, upon the
rickety door of a little cabin, is marked
this legend:
: Corns 1
t wasfiin • ;
i done here.
iiiill
Tho Town Talker dods riot often get
within the metes and bounds of tnd
Kingdom of Kerry, but of late his busi
ness has taken him through the settle
ment, as a short cut; very frequently;
iins each time he has read and pondered
this announcement. Was it true that
this “washin 1 ” was done there; and, in
that Case, did the friends of the depart
ed bring the “corps’’ around to this
place, and were these peculiar facilities
for the prosecution of the business? Or
did the statement mean that parties
having a “Corps” could here find a pro
gressive valet de chambre for the dead?
There was somethingso delightfully lugu
brious in the affair that one day I tapped
at the door, and entered. I was met by
a withered old crone, who told me that
she was “Missus” McDougal, and in
quired what she could do for me.
“I’m told that you attend to the wash
ing of the dead.”
“Yes,” said she, “and I do it cheap.”
“What is your charge?”
“One dollar, and I furnish all me own
tools—sponges and the like.”
“Well, I don’t happen to have any
remains just now,” said I, “but it’s
always well to be looking around. How
is business with you?”
“It’s very poor, sir. Times was when
I could make ?’W a week as aisy as
you’re set tin’ in that chair; now, if I
catches $3 a week ’l'm well satisfied.
You know I’m a keener, and keeners is
extry. I generally make 81 a week now
keenin’”
“What is ‘keenin’?”
“ ‘K* enin’—why, cryin’ for the dead,
you know. There’s some of us as was
keeners in the ould country, and we
gathers around the corpse and starts
the keen, and then the others they jine
in.”
“Is the keen any different from any
other cry?”
“ Different ! I should say it was, sir.
Why, the keen goes right to the heart.
This is the right keen,” and sfie bent
over, and swaying her body from side
to side, began a most dolorous and de
spairing how], which she accentuated
by clapping her hands, and which lean
compare only to a wild and grief-strick
en hysteric. Sometimes it dropped to a
low moan, then rose and rose until it
culminated in a shriek. It was the
queerest, saddest thing I ever heard in
my life. In parts it had turns of the
German jodel; again it ran up and
down like an operatic roulade. Really,
it was a work of art—savage art—but
certainly art. Put upon the stage, it
would draw with any specialty act I ever
saw. “We does that in the house,” she
said, “and out at the graveyard, and
generally I get a pound of tea and
sugar, or a dollar or two, if I get it
worked up well. There’s no good keen
ers in t his country at all. The best are
in the South of Ireland, specially in the
t 'ouniy Kilkenny. To hear it right you
ouglv to have a dozep goin’ at once. I
tell you it comes out grand then. But
these people here can’t keen—they try
it, but they’re no good ; they can’t tell
good keenin’ when they hear it.” Prom
i-ing certainly to employ the old lady on
the very first occasion that 1 wished any
keening done, I withdrew, convinced
that there are points which we could
give even to the old Egyptians in the art
of funeration.— St. Spectator.
Cetowayo’ i t Hck.
The “click” which some writers have
noted as a curiosity in the speech of
Cetewayo and his suite is not peculiar
to the Zulu tongue. It is a character
istic of many barbarous languages,
though the clicking of the Hottentots
seems to be the most elaborate, or at all
events the best known. Mr. < hist, in a
paper published by the English So iety
of Arts, says: “The great feature of the
(Hottentot) language is the existence
of four clicks, formed by a different po
s tlcn of the tongue: the dental cli k is
pirn >st ident'cal with tho sound of in
dignation not unfrequen'.ly uttered by
Europeans; the lateral click is the
sound with which horses are stimulated
to action; the guttural click is not un
like the popping of a champagne cork;
and the palatal click is compared to the
cracking of a whip. He adds that the
Bushman, in addition to the four clicks
ot the Hottentot language, has a fifth,
sixth, and sometimes a seventh and an
eighth click. It is interesting to note
that philological authorities declare
that the Hottentot is entirely distinct
from other languages spoken by black
races, and is of kin to the Hamitic lan
guages of white races of North Africa.
For instance, the Kabyles, or Berbers,,
of Algeria click. Mr. Barclay (in his
“Mountain Life in Algeria”) was, we
believe, the first to remark this elocu
tionary habit among them. He under
stood‘their “click” to express assent,
and when several Kabyles “assented to
gether, he says, it was “like so many
nistols beimr cocked.” — London (Ilobe..
—Peach fritters, served with cream
anil sugar, are an excellent substitute
for pastry at dinner. Make a batter as
‘for ordinary fritters—of sweet milk,
flour, and baking powder —and if you
choose to add one egg to each pint of
milk it will improve ihe dish. I’eel and
quarter as nuuiv pea hes as you wish to
/nt in die more the 1. tier. u< the ,
ne.iches sffrink in cooking ’ 1 i i
!• o<m nlsin hot lard, /
Mjrve warm. -Indiana blale SenUml.
A Strange Story?
A special dispatch from Sharotl, Pa.,
says: Eddie Seaburn returned home
this afternoon. Thirty days since his
funeral sermon was preaefcod. by Rev.
Mr. McMasters at his father’s liotise in
this city. Eddie is about sixteen years
old and formerly worked in Kimberly &
Co.’S mill here. About the beginning
of the strike he disappeared from home.
Nine Weeks later his father, Samuel
Seaburn, also a workman at the mill,
put an advertisement in a paper setting
forth that the boy had been enticed
away by a one-armed tramp, and asking
information of his whereabouts, adding
that he could readily be identified by a
scar on his forehead partly hidden by
the way he wore his hair. On August
2 an account was published of the re
turn home of a boy to his home in Bris
tol, near Philadelphia. This boy had
strayed away. His father heard that a
boy had been killed by the cars at John
ston, had the remains exhumed, identi
fied them as those of his son, took them
home to Bristol and buried them. The
boy subsequently returned home alive
and well. Seeing the story in print, Mr.
Seaburn wrote to Bristol, and finally
went there on August 17. He had the
body disinterred and identified it posi
tively as that of his son Eddie. It was
much decomposed, the features being
entirely unrecognizable, but the
seared mark on the arm where it had
been touched with hot iron in the mill,
and the scar on the head which had been
made by a horse’s hoof, were to be seen
quite plainly. The teeth also were the
same as the Seaburn boy, the upper
front teeth being peculiar protruding
ones, and a lower tooth had a small
piece broken from it. The father felt
greatly relieved that he knew his son’s
fate. The remains were reinterred at
Bristol. The name was changed on the
grave-stone, and Rev. Mr. McMasters,
of the United Presbyterians here, held
memorial services on August 20. This
afternoon, about four o’clock Eddie Sea
burn, as large as life, but a trifle shab
by from much travel ng under difficul
ties, jumped off a freight train here and
reached out his hand to the first boy
acquaintance he knew. The boy stared
at him and ran off to the other boys
yelling: “Here’s Ed Seaburn that got
killed by the cars.” A crowd of young
sters gathered around him to the num
ber of a hundred, some arguing that
there was something crooked about this
reappearance. As the majority seemed
to regard his resurrection as an outrage
on their feelings, the boy at last began
to cry, and said he would go away again
on the next train. Meanwhile, one
of the boys had run to tell the news to
the parents of the lost boy. The father
came pushing through the crowd, his
eyes glistening as he caught sight of
his son. He could not be sure until he
caijght the boy in his arms. Then he
almost lost his senses with joy, and
danced about, hugging the prodigal to
his breast, until suddenly, remembering
his wife, he dragged him oil home, and
there were soon two pairs of arms
around him instead of one. The boy
explains that he was wandering about
from place to place till he arrived at
Sharon. But he is here, and the grave
stone in the Bristol church-yard will
have to be marked “Unknown” again.
—Pittsburgh (.Pa.)
Tho Adulteration of Sirups.
While glucose is largely used to adul
terate sugars, it is much more largely
used to adulterate sirups; in fact it is
getting to be rather unusual to find
samples of honey or siruns entirely free
from glucose. Prof. Kedzie, of Aliehi
gan, made a number of examinations of
sirups on sale in Michigan, and found
in <>ne case sulphate of iron (copperas)
and one hundred and seven grains of
lime per gallon, which came from the
improperly prepared glucose present.
In another, made entirely of starch su
gar, he found copperas and two hundred
and seven grains of lime; in another,
one hundred grains ot lime; in another,
seventy-one grains of free sulphuric acid,
twenty-eight grains of copperas, and
three hundred ami sixty-tnree grains of
lime; in another, one hundred and
forty-two grains of free sulphuric acid,
twenty-five grains of copperas, and sev
en hundred and twenty-four grains of
lime; in another, eighty grains of iron
and two hundred grains of lime! One
pound of cane sugar has more sweeten
ing power than two pounds and a half
of glucose, so that the reader can readily
see the effect of this adulteration, even
if we consider it harmless. lor a test
of iron or copperas in sirup, it should
be boiled with a decoction of strong tea.
If iron is present the solution will turn
black. The lime may be recognized in
the sirup by adding to it a little oxalic
acid; if lime is present a white cloudi
ness will appear in the sirup after it has
been shaken up with the oxalic acid.
The best way to make the test, however,
is to place in a glass two or three spoon
fuls of sirup, fill it up with pure water—
freshly caught rain water is the best—
and add a couple of spoonfuls of a solu
tion of oxalic acid. (I he solution of
oxalic acid is very poisonous; it should
be carefully labeled and kept under lock
and key.) Tin is also occasionally
found in sirups. —Prof. Udx)ux, in Chris
tian Union.
—A wealthy bachelor of Oregon,
whose death lately occurred in the East
while on a visit, has given the most
valuable farm in the cove to ®
for young ladies. ihe ‘ A 7 />i- i
; tll ,. school will
y lines.
TERMS: SI.OOA YEAR
PITH AND POINT.
—lt was rather a pretty idea when a
little girl, recovering from fever, said:
“I was not sick enough to go to heaven
thjs time.”
—Tourists are sometimes suggestive.
“Why, a donkey couldn’t climb that
hill,” said one of them; and then he
added, “and I’m not going to try it.”
—A Georgia editor tells us a story
about a catfish twenty-three feet long
which died from swallowing a calf, tho
horns proving indigestible. So does the
story.— Lowell Citizen.
—lt is all very well to say that a man
was hanged on a legal technicality, but
on thinking the matter over we must
confess that the rope really had some
thing to do with it.— N. Y. Herald.
—An elerly man in Boston is so polite
and loving that when he is dining with
a young lady of his heart he puts syrup
on his bald head to attract the flies and
prevent them from annoying her.—Bos
ton Herald.
—The Pittsburg man who killed a $25
dog to recoyer a $lO bill which he sup
posed the animal ate, didn’t feel so very
bad over it until he found the bill in his
vest pocket. Then he went to pieces.—
Detroit Free Press.
—Over in New Jersey it is proposed
to dispense with horses as motors for
street cars. It is thought that a pair of
well-trained mosquitoes with their wings
clipped would do equally as well, and
cost less to keep.— Philadelphia Chron
icle.
—A fashion item says the belle of the
fieriod now wears at her waist belt a
ittle music-box, faintly playing a single
tune. The average American girl can
put on enough airs without attaching
a music-box to her waist.— Norristown
Herald.
—The toothpick boot is going out of
fashion, ’tis said. But the broad, easy,
swinging boot worn by vigorous men of
about fifty, With marriageable daugh
ters, will never go out of fashion, young
man, never. Keep out of its reach.—
New Haven Register.
—The oldest vessel afloat is a shin of
three hundred tons called the True
She is over one hundred years
old, and is a merchant ship in active
duty, sailing under the English flacr.
Her course must have run tolerably
smooth.— Lowell Courier.
—Will the boy who knows of a place
where we can go and catch fish please
rise and answer the question. Every
man that we have asked has told us
“over there,” and we have been “over
there” a great many times and haven’t
caught anything yet. Subject for the
Concord school of philosophy: Tho
Non-Hereness of the There. — Lowell
Citizen.
—“An American,” says an exchange,
“ may not be so elegant at a dinner
party, but he will not ride a half day in
a railway car without speaking to his
fellow passenger at his elbow, as the
Englishman will.” No, indeed he will
not” ’fore George he will not. How of
ten, oh, how often, have we wished that
he would. But he won’t. He will pounce
upon a stranger whom he has never
seen before in ail his life and talk him
deaf, dumb, and blind in fifty miles.
Catch an American holding his month
shut when he has a chance to talk to
some man who doesn’t want to be talked
to. — Burlington Hawkeye.
Some Brief Remarks by Dan Feller’s
M if - ,
“Mr. Feller,” said Dan’s
“ would ye like tn see me a lone
der, with a stone dead husband?”
q h s i lea startled Dan and he lookt
up iromhis whittling kindlings with ♦'
carving knife.
•*( 1. ourse not. I’ve got a , QQ
ye as big as a barn an’ as ope..
saw-mill.”
“ An’ don’t ye pity er woman as
whole widder?”
“ Sartin.”
“ An’ don’t ye half pity er woman as
is a half widder?”
“Sartin sure.”
“An’ which du ye pity the wust, er
marriageable widder or one that can t
marry nohow?”
“ Ihe one that can marry is less to be
pitied ’cos she may git er better husband
’n she had afore.”
“Then why don’t ye pity me?”
“What!”
“ 1 married ye fur er man, an ye went
lookin’ an actin’ like er man at that
time. But now yer more’n half dead.
Ye hain’tspoke ter me pleasant ter-day.
’Fore we was married ye’d gabble ter
me all the chance you’d git. Ye hain’t
showed me no attention kinder perlite
like which pleases us women Ye was
wonderful perlite when ye used ter come
a courtin’me. Yer don't show me no
defl'erence in yer manners. Now def
fcrence showed to er woman when thet
woman's ver wife a:n’t never lost, but
alius pays big interest; it kinder sweet
ens life' as molasses sweetens ginger
bread. Bow’d ye like it if I was ter
leave all the sweetness out’en the cake
jes’ ’cos we’re married? Yer dead,
Dan, in ver sense of the pleasantness
yer could disseminate aroun’ ye. If
ve’d bi ur je<’ one week as perlite an’
attentive as ye was afore marriage I <1
feel better than if I was at a circus see
in’ Jumbo all of the time ” A man
make-: the great mistake of Ins hfet mo
when he drops his politeness in Ins own
famib- D< trod Free
■ —— ff f
, -When the oon^" et 3 r a indv
coupon from
/ K<) , on a rHomi-nM.- o'“ /
/ A.cv she throe'
/ n on/ow. „ him 0( o o a,.-