Newspaper Page Text
VOL. V.-NO. 30.
fllE SAD FATE OF ANNABEL LEE.
rc «r has gone down in the tide
bride.
'astron, to .no,
Fhe was fair. ftnd J >1 w l ! \*?;°” ng '
' *?HiceM9 and 111,0 * l,ld ,be ton?us ’
,! l‘nl't' wv whS were there to see
A C A .,hat the very car roof rung
" 6R With the taffy she gave to me.
nnt the Hell maroon of that hectic noon
never lose terrors tor me*
w. Tinned for grub, but not too soon
th" beautiful Annabel Lee;
Tor she was faint as a hungry bear,
KSnherivorv feet to her cardinal hair,
r w« nty beautiful Annabel Lee,
And she went into business then and there,
A My unfortunate Annabel Lee!
Tbo pork and doughnuts, and pickles and
Disappeared like a frightened flea,
*nd I thought it lucky that adequate means
Had been invested in me,
Tn nav for tilling my queen of queens,
Mr beautiful Annabel Leo.
«he looked no love, she snake no speech;
With het ’twas a matter of silence and reach,
Until I began to bo
kA little afraid, and compelled to beseech
Mv daring, my darling, my sweetheart, my
peach,
To let up on the g-r-u-b!
And that is the reason that years gone by
Mv beautiful Annabel Lee,
Went for a piece of railroad pie,
And slid tip the f lu m-e,
For she was human, and her gastric force,
Though good, wasn’t that of a thoroughbred
horse,
Or a steam e-n-g-i-n-e.
And so it happened that on that pie
Mv darling, my darling, went up to the sky,
My beautiful Annabel Lee.
And oft in the night tide I turn on my right
side,
And curious dreams come to me,
Os mv darling, my tbve, irf the realms above,
Still wrestling r'.iat tough p-i-e.
—Drake’* Traveler*’ Magazine.
c
Important Agriculture Statistics.
A writer in the International Review,
who seems to have drawn his facts and
figures from official sources, furnishes
some interesting and important informa
tion in regard to the increase of various
crops in this country. He says that in
the la§t fifteen years the production of
wheat and barley has trebled; corn, cot
ton and tobacco more than doubled; hay
increased more than one-third, and oats
almost 110,000,000 bushels. Here are
the statistics: In 1865 the wheat crop
was 148,553,000 bushels; in 1879, 448,-
756,000; corn, in 1865, 704;427,000 bush
els, and in 1879, 1,544,899,000; oats, in
1869, 235,252,000, and in 1879, 364,253,-
000, rye, 19,544,009—22,646,000; bar
ley, 11,391,000—40,184,000; potatoes,
101,632,000—181,369,000; hay, 23,538,-
000 t0n5—35,648,000; tobacco, 183,327,-
000 pounds—to 384,059,000; cotton 2,-
*29,000 bales—s,o2o,ooo.
The writer attributes the increase in
cereals to the increased population and
development of the Western and North
western States. He says that during the
present generation the corn has been
transferred from the South to the West,
and the wheat centre from the Middle
States to the far West. In 1842, 59 per
cent, and in 1859, 52 per cent, of our
corn was grown in the Southern States.
In 187< , 850,000,000 bushels came from
Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, lowa, Missouri,
Kansas and Nebraska. The product of
ml the rest of the Union was only 494,-
058,000 bushels. The tobacco increase—•’
100,000,000 pounds from 1870 to 1878—
has been, of course, mainly in the South,
n the same section and same period
hlcrease< i from 3,042,000 to
■0,21b,0.19 bales, Arkansas and Texes
°mg the leading States in this ad
vance. In the former, 111,000,000 pounds
m-u ra l. ed 111 1870 > and 318,000*000 in
■1018; in the latter, in 1870, 157,000,000
pounds, and in 1878, 500.000,000.
Only about 9 per cent., it is said, of
me national grain crop is exported, in
cl,ldmg24 76 percent, of the wheat, and
• of the com. The total exports of
Wp^" 18 were 39,000,000 bushels in
one ’ mi lß7B tlley had risen to 180,000,-
witb +i 10 ex P°rts are likely to increase
P rod, . lGtion , though iu a far
far T a and the time is not
b.\l! f nt when tlie United States will
kebrf“ tho Kr ““ *““■
In the Wrong Room.
Shortly after 12 o’clock a few nights
ago a Philadelphia guest at one of the
laige Atlantic City hotels was awakened
by a nudge from the sharpest of his
vise s sharp knuckles. As he opened
ins eyes he saw by means of the ex
tremely faint light that penetrated from
the hah into the room the figure of a
man, who stood silently by the bureau
and who, as it appeared, was fumbling
for whatever valuables might fall into
ns clutches. The wife clung to her
usband s arm and trembled so violently
that the latter feared lest the burglar
8 ould hear and escape. Releasing his
arm, the guest slipped noiselessly from
and holding his pillow as a
s Held, he reached the burglar at a bound,
the midst of crushed chair and
Broken bnc-a-brac the robber went
umvn, with his assailant on top. The
o i »er struggled hard to rise, but, being
i f ? b ? er > dle occupant of the room soon
B P read ont ftt full length
with the pillow on his head. The con
l u rors wife struck a light as quickly
88 ! ’ *4™ d ran g sharply for an at
aUt’ hen the night clerk reached
h e saw a thrilling tableaux, the
'^? re °1 which was a powerful
.♦l.'* °, ran gling a male Desdemona in
° f th ° floor - the scene
niHow m comed y after all, for when the
s'OW .a k- as A fe ? oved the thief’s face
occnnn, the highly respectable
friend .the aoom, a dear
abort r 113 assailant and altogether
t£ PKack He had mis
and v her t7° n ? r ?° m f° r th® right one
about f knocked down was fumbling
S, T a
®hc Chiton Stvons.
State Dinners.
The customs of State dinners at the
White House are si mewl;at changed un
rler President Arthur. Formerly the
zreat East Room was not mu h used on
these occasions, the guests being re
ceived by the President in the blue
Parlor, and thence escorted to the State
Dining-Room Now, however, the
[.bests are received in the Fast Room,
and spend some time there before go
ing to thy State Dining-Room, promen
ading slowly down the broad hall as
they pa s from the reception-room to
the tables.
The details of these State events arc
quite in'eresting. The table in the
State Dining-Room in the White House
will seat, by close crowding, thirty-six
people. Th s, then, is the limit of the
number invited, and usually there are
not less than thirty on these o casions.
Where it is convenient to do so, as
many ladies as gentlemen are in
vited, though at diplomatic dinners,
where all the foreign Min
isters here are to be present,
it is found imposs ble to seat as many at
the table as this plan would require so
that the rule is not always followed.
The table is usually very handsomely
ornamented w th flowers, a huge floral
design of some sort appearing as a cen
ter-piece, and smaller ones near the
ends. Two large golden candelabra, or
branding candlesticks, holding per
haps a dozen candles apiece, occupy
places on the table, one at either end of
the floral center-piece. These contain
the finest of wax candles, which are
lighted just before the dinner 1 cgins.
Near the ends of the table arc smaller
candelabra, with perhaps a half-dozen
candles apiece, each having a little
pink lined shade at the top supported
by a silver rod, which clasps the candle
near the bottom.
The plates are place 1 “right side up
with care” about thirty inches apart
around the table. <'n each plate t' e nap
kin is laid, and on the napkin the bouquet
—for the ladies a flat corsage bouquet of
rosebuds, and sometimes lilies of the
valley; for the gentlemen usually a s n
ge half opened rose-bud. Reside
these is laid a card, one on each plate,
and on it the name of the person who is
to sit at this place.
The head of the table on these oc
casions is not at the end, but in the
middle. The seatocctipied by the Presi
dent is half way up the side of the
table, at the side next the door at which
the guests enter. The lady whom he
escorts to dinner sits at his right, and
the honored guest on the occasion sits
directly opposite the President, with his
lady on his right. Those who arrange
the table, and the order in which the
guests sit, of course, arrange so that
gentleman and wife do not sit side by
side under any circumstances.
When the arrangement for s r.ting is
completed, and each person bus been
assigned to his place, a card is prepared
for each gentleman and placed in an
envelope bearing his name. On one
side of this card is a plan of the tab e,
with each seat numbered. On the other
side is the name of the lady whom he is
to escort to the table, and the numbers
of the seats they are to occupy. These
envelopes are handed to the gentlemen
as they enter, and a> soon as the gentle
man has “shed” his outer - garments he
examines his card, curses or blesses the
fates which have consigned him to an
uncongenial or a congenial partner for
the evening, and hies h nr to the East
Room, where, after paying his respects
to the President, he hunts up his lady,
and prepares for the evening. Mean
time, the famous Marine Band has taken
its place in the vestibule.
After a half-hour spent in conversa
tion in the East Room, the President
gives the signal to an attendant, who
passes it on to the band, which strikes
up some appropriate selection, and the
President, giving his right arm to the
lady whom he is to escort to dinner,
leads the way to the dining-room. The
others follow, each gentleman giving
his arm to the lady designated by his
card. The President usually takes to the
table the wife of the Secretary of State.
The promenade down the long hall
to the dining-room is very slow, and is
a striking and beautiful spectacle. The
ladies, of course, are in evening cos
tume —the handsomest that money
and ingenuity can provide —and the
gentlemen in dress suitsj the lights
brilliant, lhe hall lined with flowersand
tropical plants, and the music entranc
ing. Arriving at the table the gue-ts
are seated in their order, and the din
ner, which is usually in twelve or four
teen courses, with a half-dozen ditier
ent wines, occupies fully three hours,
and, it may be added, is good. Wash
ington Cor. Chicago Journal.
Ask For ft Like a Man.
Young man. when you see anytltfng
you want, ask for it like a man. ft you
want to borrow $5 of a man, or if you
want to marry his daughter, don't slip up
to him and hang on to your hat and talk
politics and religion and weather, and tell
old stale jokes whereof you can’t remem
ber the point, until you worry the old
man into a nervous irritation. Go to him
with a full bead of steam on and your
bow ports open like an iron-clad pulling
for a shore battery. Snort and paw and
shake ycur head, if you feel like it, no
matter if it does make him astonished.
Better astonish him than bore him. Go
into his heart, or his pocket-book, or
both, it amounts to the same thing, Eke
a brindle bull with a curl on his forehead
charging a red merino dress, eyes on fire,
tail up, and the dust a-flying. Then
yog’ll fetch him. Or, possibly he may
fetch you. But never mind; you’ll ac
complish something, and show you aren’t
afraid to speak wbat’e on your mind.
And that's a great deal more than you
would accomplish by the other method.
You need not be cheeky, but you ought
to be straightforward
DALTON, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, MARCH 17, 1883.
Americans in Europe.
A correspondent writes to the Spring
field Republican: The majority of
Americans, when they come to Europe
for tiro first time, are always amazed at
the expense of foreign traveling. They
had always harbored the impression that
the cost of everything on this side of the
Atlantic—railway tickets, hotel bills,
etc., were at least only one-half what
they were in America ; but, on the con
trary, they find it costs much more to
travel here than it does at home. In
the best American hotels the price of
three and four dollars a day seems ex
travagant, but they cannot comprehend
why it is that in a first-class foreign ho
tel, where the price of a room is only
three or four francs a day, and the other
charges seem so moderate, their bills
foot up to such high figures.
While taking my breakfast one morn
ing at the Hotel Chatham in Paris, five
Americans entered the dining room and
seated themselves at a table near me.
There was the father anti mother, a son
of about 14, and two daughters about
10 and 12. From their conversation I
learned it was their first trip to Europe,
and that they had come directly to Paris
on landing at Liverpool, and had no
had a “square meal” since they left
home. After - canvassing among them
selves as to what their appetites craved
and demanded on the bill of fare, the
head of the family gave the
waiter the following order : Five plates
of melon, which were then very ex
pensive, five fried soles, five pots of cof
fee, five ham and eggs, fried hominy,
five beefsteaks, hot rolls, five fried pota
toes, butter, radishes, etc. If they had
ordered two dishes of a kind, so gener
ous was the supply, it would have been
more than enough to satisfy their appe
tites ; but they were “Americans,” and
evidently thought the reputation of their
country, in the eyes of other strangers
in the dining-room, demanded nothing
less than a full complement to each per
son. As near as I could figure up their
account, that breakfast cost in the neigh -
borhood of .sl6. The table d’hote din
ner at night was at a fixed price, and, if
their lunch, at 1 o’clock, corresponded
with their breakfast, no wonder surprise
is manifested at the Irigh rates of living
in foreign hotels.
The Courteous Lawyer.
You recognize the courteous lawyer at
once. He places a chair gracefully for
Iris client, whether the client is an ele
gantly attired lady iu sealskins and
diamonds or a clumsy bumpkin in home
spun and liquor. ’ He smiles sweetly at
his opponent, and bows to the jury in a
deferentially familiar way. He pays the
fees to the clerk before he has the
trouble to ask for them, and draws the
bills out of his pocket book slowly, one
by one, as gently as he would lead a
belle from her carriage to the ball-room.
His bow to the court i« almost an apology
for having come into the profession con
temporaneously with his Honor. He
handles a witness as though he was the
frail golden setting and his testimony the
gem he was tryipg to remove. His tones
are carefully modulated, and he appeals
tor a reply to the kindly sensibilities of
the witness. “Be so good” is the cap
tivating exordium, and “ thank you ” the
palliative peroration. If he wounds with
a question, he binds up the sore the
next moment with the liniment of polite
ness. To his opponent he overflows
with generous waivers and admissions,
and if by chanee he interpolates a re
mark, lie does it as though he was put
ting a boquet in his adversary’s button
hole. He thinks he understands the
court. He hopes he does not misappre
hend his learned friend. lie trusts the,
witness knows what he means. In ad
dressing the jury, he unbosoms his ap
preciation of their intelligence and
ability. He lays his arguments before
them with respect amounting almost to
reverence, as though they were pro
pitiatory offerings to a deity whom he
wished to placate. To the court his
whole demeanor is redolent of respect.
The court is most honorable; the judge
most distinguished. He is, in short, so
filled with human consideration for every
thing and everybody around him, that he
finds excuses for the jury that beats him
and for the court that nonsuits him. It
is true, ho has been know to revile an
adversary in private, to curse surrepti
tiously, and to sneer at the judiciary in
the social circle. Tt is also true that he
can wrench a from a client in a ruth
less moment and take a snap judgment
when he thinks it safe. But these little
trifles only show that he is human, and
he knows that men are not apt to believe
that a head with such a halo of polite
ness around it can have for its pedestal a
cloven foot.
—. *
Smart Boy.
“ Well, sonny, whose pigs are those ?’
“ Old sow’s, sir 1”
“ Whose sow is it?”
“ Old man’s, sir.”
“ Well, then, who is your old "man ?”
“If you’ll mind the pigs, I’ll run
home and ask the old woman.”
“Never mind, sonny, I want a smart
boy ; what can you do?”
“Oh ! I can do more than consider
able. I can milk these geese, ride the
turkeys to water, hamstring the grass
hoppers, light the fires for flies to court
by, cut the buttons off dad’s coat when
he’is at prayers, keep tally for dad and
mam when they scold at a mark—old
woman is always ahead.”
“Got any brothers?”
“Lots of ’em, all named Bill, except
Bob, his name’s Sam--my name’s Larry
but they call me Lazy Lawrence, foe
shortness.” „
“ Well, vou’re most too smart.
Mothers who have any regard for
their daughters will enforce the “yau
knit” rule.
Catastrophes.
The year has opened with a series of
terrible warnings of the 'ragmentariness
&f human life. The old year is uniform
ly dismissed Without regret as weari- j
some and disappointing, if not down
right imlucky. The new year is hailed
with eager haste as one that may be des- j
tried to stand out in human memory i
as a brighter and happier period, in 1
which the depressing influences of un
foreseen calamities and economic dis
asters may be avo ded. Eighteen hun
dred and eighty-three, however, has '
dawned with leaden skies and portents i
of evil. In France the greatest Repub- !
Lean has been stricken down, and h s !
death ha - been followed by many s'gns
O' pel t cal incapacity, social agitation
and national despondency. Un the
Continent the tl< ods have borne devas
tation an I misery in their train. From
every quarter there are tidings of dis
aster. The hotel tire in Milwaukee, the
circus catastrophe in Russia, the ra I way
accident near Tehichipa Pass, the loss ]
of two staunch ocean steamships, and
numerous other disasters on sea and I
land, are not < nly appalling horrors, but I
omens of depression and gloom. Men |
are already saying in their hearts: “ It
will be a disagreeable year, if nothing j
w.'i se'.”
Be ore the agencies of s eam, elec
tricity and the public press were multi
plied, the effect of sudden catastrophes
wasconi ned to the localities in which
they occurred. When the tower in
Siloam fell, there was no lack of talk in
the neighboring villages, and the rumor
of the disaster was carried beyond Jeru
salem into the hill-country, but the
world outside did not know what had i
happened. The collapse of the great !
chimney-stack in Bradford a few weeks |
ago was telegraphed instantly to the
ends o the earth, so that it was known
simultaneously in Calcutta, the Eu
ropean capitals, San Francisco and New
York that sixty men, women and chil
dren had suddenly ceased to exist in the
workaday world. But outside Bradford ;
there was si arcely a single point of hu- i
man interest in the calamity. Archi- I
tects may have been warned against [
sacri icing the principles of security to |
hapely proportions, and life insurances i
c mvassers may have obtained a new
fact to lay before working people; but
the human sutlering which had been
caused left no impression U] on the
minds of readers at a distance. Three
hundred people are trampled under
foot or burned to death in a circus in
Boland; but the fact excites no more
emotion in the heart of an American ■
reader than the footings of a table of
mortality statistics. Four hundred I
emigrants and sailors are suddenly
swallowed up by the sea. There is a
short controversy respecting compart
ments in a ship’s hull and a momentary
curios'ty to learn what excuse the com
mander of the otherstcamship can offer
for not attempting a rescue; but the i
agony which was caused in a single in- i
st ant, when hundreds of these quiet and
simple peasants and working people
were brought face to face with their
doom, is only a vague generalization.
In a week it is forgotten by the general
public.
It s only in exceptional instances that
these tragic occurrences leave any per
manent impression upon the public
mind outside the immediate localities
where they occur. The facts are known,
but suffering is not brought close to the
emotions and sympathies. A day
pas es, and men are thinking of some
thing newer and pleasanter. A month
goes by, and 1883 is not considered
especially unlucky, but only an average
year, with startling o currences now
and then, but with lhe i seal out ome
of peace, prosperity and security. A
year rolls by, and there is a vague feeling
of disappointment and depression and
an eager hope that another year will be
cheerier and brighter. There is in
variably a speedy reaction from the dis
couragement and sense of insecurity
caused by the vicissitudes of human
destiny.
It may be that the world as it grows
older is becoming more and more ac
customed to the conditions of its being.
Certainly the impressions of helples -
ness caused by catastrophes like those
which have been recently recorded are
only vague and transitory. The thrill
of horror excited by such recitals is telt
only momentarily; the sense of insecur
ity and the feeling of unrest soon pass
awav. Men learn to expect catastro
phes and to make allowance for them
in the Providential scheme of the uni
verse. Yet they can not explain them.
Tha ; seventy weary travelers and hotel
servants should suddenly be exposed to
the horrors of an agonizing death, that
three hundred n en, women and chil
dren should be wrenched out of life
with tortures unspeakable while en oy
ing a town show in i o and, or that iour
hundred emigrants seeking their fort
unes iu a new laud shoul 1 be drowned
before they have fa rly lost sight of the
old country.-is as inexplicab'e to day as
the death of the thirty victims of the
Tower of -Siloam was to the Jews of
old. The question is no longer asked,
as it was then: “Have thc-e men sinned
or their fathers, that they should perish
eo miserably?” But it in no easier now
than it was then to reconcile the vicis
si tides and mysteries of human late
with an orderly scheme of government
(or the universe.— N. Y- Tribune.
A young girl who has tried it says
the story that kissing would cure freck
les lacks the important element of tiulh;
but there is one thing, she a Im.ty
: greatly in favor of the remedy- it isnot
disagreeable to take. Hers however,
mavbe a deep-rooted, stubborn case, .
and «he shouldn’t feel .hscomaz 4 o
cause fifteen or sixteen h,,,1d,e ''*! - t K
“■SIS'Z' fk e F.‘
Joking on High Olympus.
It was a bright afternoon, and the im
mortals were sitting on high Olympus,
watching the cremation of some insane
American, who thought there wasn’t
enough land on this continent to bury
him in, when tho blue-eyed maid re
marked:
; “Mars.”
The Colonel hastily folded up his map
of the lava beds and slipped it into his
pocket.
“Speak, Minerva, the class is up. Go
ahead with the oral. ”
| “When they put a man into the crema
i tory or retort, or whatever they call it,
i what figure of expression does it remind
i you of ?”
The Colonel scratched his grieved slrin
(now don’t ask us what it was grieved
about, or we will tell you it was grieved
about to the knee, for we are in no hu
mor for nonsense), and presently he said
he wasn’t much of a scholar on raw gram
mar, but he believed it was a kind of
I erysipelas, “something left out, you
1 know.”
“Well,” said the goddess, “but what
is left out?”
I The Colonel hesitated a moment, and
said he hadn’t considered in regards of
i that, and Hermes remarked that it was
probably an interpolation, because the
man was put in.
Vulcan, who happened along with a
new hinge for the front gate, asked if it
wasn’t hotology.
Juno didn’t think it could be tautology,
because it wasn't always the same man;
indeed, it never was the same man.
“It’s the same man this time, isn’t
it?” asked her husband, cautiously
i throwing up his elbow to the level with
' his head.
I Ganymede, the barkeeper, said he
thought it was a hyperbole, because it
was awfully extravagant; $35 per man at
the Washington (Pa.) Crematory was the
regular charge for every barbecue.
Saturn, who came up this afternoon,
it being Friday, with a string of fish,
i said he thought it was synedoche, but on
I being asked what synedoche was, frank
' ly confessed that he didn’t know, and
I went down three.
Apollo thought it was a bit of trochaic
| meter, because the man was put in his
coffin.
It took the Immortals a long time to
catch on to this, and then Jupiter re
marked that they weren’t running a col
lege infirmary up there.
“ No,” said his amiable married sister,
“no, pharmacy’s sake, don’t talk doctor
shop. What do you think it is, Miner-
I va?”
The blue-eyed goddess turned down
her place in Emerson, adjusted her eye
glasses and said, with great precision:
“ Why, the retort scorches. Does not
it strike you that way?”
But after a moment of silence the Col
onel said he wasn’t up to this new
fangled pronunciation very well, and tho
• immortal Jove called to Ganymede to
| bring him a “light one,” at the same
time holding up all the fingers on one
hand behind his wife’s head.
Laughed all the gods; the heaven* with laughter
broke,
And wise Minerva thought ’twas at her joke.
—Jiurlinuton Daukfye.
- ■ ■ -
Mammoth Trees In California.
A correspondent who has been visiting
the grove of big trees in Calaveras
County, Cal., writes as follows :
It has always been so difficult for me
to form any conception of the size of the
mammoth trees from given figures, but
when I went into the grove and saw them
standing, and climbed twenty-six steep
steps to reach the upper side of a fallen
sequoya and became dizzy on looking
down to the ground I realized their im
mense proportions ; one of the gentle
men of the party reached his arms at
full length and it took eight measures to
span one of the smaller trees.
Visitors have tho privilege of naming
any of the big trees, and placing a mar
ble slab with the inscription thereon.
Ono noble great tree was culled (lie
“Mother,” another the “Fathet,” the
“Three Graces,” “Henry Ward
Beecher," “General Grant,” etc., etc.
In this grove there are ninety-nine
trees within eighty acres. We took
horses and rode six miles to tho “Son”
where we saw the largest tree in tho
world, “Old Goliah.” In this grove
there are thirteen hundred and eighty
trees, none measuring less than six feet ;
in diameter.
We rode our eight horses into the side .
of one tree that had been burned out;
the guide said there was room for ten
more, and we could well believe it, for
we did not take up one-third of the
room; and yet the fire had not affected
tho life of the tree ; there was enough
vitality to grow on unconcerned. In
this grove many of the big trees were j
named for States, which seemed more
appropriate.
Elopement Fashions.
The fashions for girls who elope just
now are very plain. Some white drapery,
a convenient window, a long ladder, a
dark night, a coach, a minister and the
house of a friend, and the elopement is
over. If the irate father, armed with a
double-barreled coal shovel and a town
constable, does not pursue, the affair is,
although picturesque, not exactly a suc
cessful elopement. If the father of the
bride relents within two days the foolish
couple are not hanpy. If it leaks out
that the mother of the bride is in the
secret, much of the pleasure of the trip
is spoiled. If both the father and mother
of the bride are in the secret of her going
away, and have actually left the ladder .
near the window, and that fact is found , 1
out the elopement is a failure. nt n
olden time the eloping I brlde l< P ao ¥lJJ l l l *
awny heavily la leii. . ’ two jj, j ie r in
K sway quite I fu
igbt
TERMS: SI.OOA YEAR.
. WAIFS AND WHIMS.
A word with business men—settle. i
1 Iron affected by fog is mist rusted.
A mule is tamo enough iu front, but
awfully wild behind.
A little cider now and then is re
lished by tho best of men.
, The man who can’t remember that he
( was ever a boy is entirely rijie for the
harvest.
, Starch is said to lie explosive. It
causes explosion in the family when the
old man finds it Um been left out of his
collars.
A Boston paper says the conductor of
a street-car in that city took 900 fares
i last Sunday, but is entirely silent as to
I how many the company got.
I The Crown Prince of Germany gets
■ more puffing over giving a $3 fiddle to a
I blind Ixiy than an American does over
leaving S4O, (XX) to an orphan asylum.
There is a fortune in store for the mil
-1 liner who shall devise a bonnet that can
lie worn in any part of a church and al
-1 ways present its trimmed side to the con
gregation.
A poultry ruthoritysays that “chick
ens should have an ample range.” It
’ depends upon the numoer of chickens.
A little chicken will broil pretty well
over a very small stove.
I Many persons who rake through an
other’s character with a fine-tooth comb,
to discover a fault, could find one with
less trouble by going over their own
’ character with a horse-rake.
t It costs more than a hundred millions
• of dollars annually to keep the fences of
[ this country in repair. Now, gentlemen,
( get off the fence and stay off till after
, election, and save your country a few
millions of this outlay.
t Grown-up sister—“Oh, Charley, if
i you must go away can’t you introduce
me to one of your school-fellows, to look
, after me till you come back?” Charley—
, “Oh, no, it wouldn’t do! It would lie
i too rough on a fellow to fag him out like
• that."— Punch.
1 Somebody who apjiears to know how
fashionable schools are managed, says:
5 “To educate young ladies is te let them
' know all about the ogies, omenies, the
flics, the tics and tlie mistics; but nothing
> about the iugs, such as sewing, darning,
washing, baking and making pudding. ’
“I say, mister, this is a double seat
and you can’t lay over it in that way,
■ said a stand-up passenger in n crowded
’ car to another passenger who wits making
' himself too much at home. “Can’t lay
over tlie seat?” echoed the loafer. “Bet
1 your life I can. See here, I have a lay
' over check from the conductor, and it m
good.”
A youno laxly received the following
note, accompanied by a bouquet of
flowers: Dear , I send you bi the
’ boy a bucket of flours. This is like my
love for u. The nite shade menes kepe
’ dark. The dog fenil menes I am your
’ slave. Rosis red and posis poil, my Iov«
for you shal never sale.”
The flowing reporter who wrote, with
reference to a well-known belle, “ Her
dainty feet were encased in shoes that
might be taken for fairv boots,” tied his
wardrobe up in a handkerchief and left
r for parte unknown when it appeared the
; next morning: “Her dirty feet feet were
encased in shoes that might be taken for
( ferry boats. ”
A Yottno lady who is studying French
lately wrote to her parents that she was
invited to a dqjeuner tlie day before, and
was going to a fete champctre the next
day. The professor of tlie college was
surprised to receive a dispatch from the
“old man” a day or two after saying:
“If you don’t keep my daughter awav
from these menageries and side shows, I
will come down and see what ails her.
It is amusing to watch a slim man
weigh himself. He steps on to the plat
form as an elephant steps upon a bridge,
with an awfid fear of breaking the thing
down, and then puts the three-hundred
pound weight on the end of the beam.
Os course he takes it off again, but he
does this unostentatiously. Having found
that he weighs, say, one hundred and
twenty, if you watch him carefully you
will see him slide the weight along to
one hundred and seventy-five. ‘‘ By
George!” he will exclaim os he goes out,
“I’ve lost ten pounds since last week.’
IHe doesn’t say how much he weighs
i now; if you wish to know, there is the
scale. He knows you will look.
Changes In Jerusalem.
A wonderful change has taken place in
Jerusalem of late years, and it is
blv now a more comfortable residence
than ever before in ite ,llst ? r y- •
Schick, who holds the “PP
Surveyor of Buihhngs in the Holy City,
has lately issued a very I™*™/ 1 ™ £
port. He tells ns that ruined _ houses
have been restored or
viduals or companies, and “
the Peabody plan have been erected by
associations. Tl.e streets are now
lighted, kept, for an Eastern city, most
XptkJy dean, and the aqueduct
from the pools of Solomon has been re
stored, and water brought
city. Tanneries and slaiightx r-honsea
have been removed outside the town.
The sanitary department »
control of a German physician. BetJ
hem and Nazareth are eagerly em’ Jaring
the ixrogress of the capital. In the
latter place windows are »
freouent It is assertexi that there is a
fixed resolution on the part of
in Prussia ta make that country . . .
"ssible for Jews, and it »
lhat this ma/ m *. “ow X«-
alreaxly ef> P s,^era^. e nr - th*
ing to “XJjy • P
.jte German Jev ‘ b^^.jove mente ere.
■iutoriug thoro.