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VOL. 11. 3yCISCEI J X J^ITE!OTJS- There is a man on Arbor hill who is so infernally lazy that his friends say it is impossible to cut him to the quick, Miiee he hasn’t got any. Butcher: “Come, John, be lively now break the bones in Mr. Williamson’s chops and put Mr. Smith’s ribs in the basket for him.” John (briskly): “All right sir; just as soon as I’ve sawed oft Mrs. Murphy’s leg.” The gentleman from “Injeany,” whose memory slipped its grip on the word “saieratus,” explained to the storekeeper that he wanted ‘sum of your white powder as made bread git up and hump itself.” “Ah, yes,” said Mrs. Partington some years ago on the 22nd of February as she saw the military pass by, “ah, yes; Washington is dead, and the worst of it is that his mantelpiece don’t seem to have fallen on any man now living.” “Shentlemens,” said a Teutonic ora tor at an anti-small glass of beer for live cents meeting in New Orleans —“Shen- tlemen, dere ought to be as much bulge in der glass ash dere ish in der barrel.” This Teuton evidently believed in tew tonies in place of one. The “spirit was moving” and there was quite a revival in the church. An effort was being made to bring forward members who had strayed from the path. Broth S— rose, and warming up with his subject, exclaimed: “There is nothing that the Lord hates so much as a d —d backslider!” A triumph of zeal over grace. FIRE, WATER AND HONOR. Fire, Water and Honor once made a league. Now, as Fire never stays in one place, and 1v ater is always on the move, they persuaded Honor to travel with them. Before starting they agreed that it was necessary to lix upon some sign by which they might be able to And each other,supposing they got sep arated. Said Fire, — “If you chance to lose me, remember wherever you see smoke, there I shall be. That is my sign.” “As for me,” said Water, “should I disappear, don’t look for me where the ground is parched and dry. Search where you behold tall willows and al ders, green reeds and fresh grass. There l shall always be.” “As for me,” cried Holier, “mind that you keep me alway in sight, For if you once lose me, you will never, as long asthe world stands. And me again. A DISAGREEABLE DISCOVERY. J remember one night going to a masked ball during the carnival. Du ring the evening a young and ly elegant woman came toward mtu at tired in a domino and mask, qjad j put ting her arm w>*hin mine, acjjpsteiu jne thus: w /dew •‘The signor has not found her his eyes seek?” A, seekiy one‘> ' •/**‘Oa.. J enl ( W. i J aper. ‘Wholesale. William Root. Marietta, Ga.,‘ Jan. 30th 1870. The Field and Fireside. MARIETTA, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, JUNE 5, 1879. . e n ular, so inferred that 1 was not . ik ing to any one acquainted with na. 2nd ] replied, £ 4t “The signora can jest at disaj.. 'f ment. Does she wish it less?” ,j* “Disappointment belongs ' V who trust women ;to all whotn. *.^n. “The signra,” I urged, “is too young and lovely to have discovered that her self.” “1 have not complained; the heart is silent on its own sorrows, signor capta no.” 1 was only a lieutenant, but the idea did notdisplese me. “Signora, if it were in my power you should never have reason to feel sad,” l answered. And so this light bamlinage was con tinued for seine little time. I besought hei- to tell me who she was, or to un mask; but this she declined to do, and in return told me so many little matters about myself and my daily habits, that I could not imagine how she could pos sibly have learned them. As she was very obdurate, I wished her adieu, when she promised that if 1 would stay until the conclusion of the ball she would unmask. For want of something else to do, and also, perhaps, from curiosity, I staid, and about three in the morning 1 posted myself at the door to watch the people as they left, and soon espied my incog nita. She Walked up to me with a most eoquetish air, raised her mask, and dis closed the not uncomely visage of—ray washerwoman!' She was childishly di verted at the success of her joke, much more than I was myself. The following evening 1 received a note from another lady, begging me to go to the ball again; but as I was aware that my washwoman had a dear friend who was also a clear-starcher. I felt sure that the two had concerted anoth er joke at my expense, and judged it advisable to disregard the invitation. SHE SHOOK HIM. Pretty Girls for sale at a Church Fair—A Miserly Beau who lost His Girl. It has grown into a fashionable cus tom of late to have' a mock auction sale of the prettiest girls at church festivals. It tends to increase the resources of the church, and at the same time very clear ly demonstrates in which way the affec tions of youth are bent. For it is rea sonable to suppose that no ambitious young man will permit his sweetheart to be knocked down to a rival until he had expended his last cent in the effort to become the fortunate purchaser. Acting upon this idea a fashionable church in Denver is preparing for a fes tival, in which the auction business is to form a prominent feature. It has put the young ladies in quite a A utter of ex citement, and unhappily at this early stage of the novelty—for, however com mon in the East, it is” a novelty here— has come very near wrecking the fu ture happiness of two estimable young ■cceatfures. Tlie facts in the case are these A young'gentlem?n who confesses to amiable weakness for one of the png ladies who is to be disposed of V- called on his :*• n ’ev' ings since, and* at: •• * • ‘v and Accomodation I Marietta. M very naturally the subject of the fes- j tival came up. “I’m to be sold, Charley—dml you know it?” exclaimed the enchantress. “Xo! are you, though? I suppose 1 shall have to buy you.” fen “Of course. But how much do you reckon I will sell ror?” This was a naive inquiry, but it led i to a moment of brief but sagacious spec illation. If he had any rival the girl was likely togo high: if he didn’t have any it would appear as if he was invest ing in an exceedingly cheap article. “Don’t know.” The words were lonir drawn out. and his face was grave. “1 suppose a dollar or two!” If he had reflected a moment longer he never would have made this obser vation. It was born, however, of a sense of economy, and he had no idea of what it would lead to. But as the words fell from his lips he looked at his ina morata and caught the flash of indig nant blue eyes, which made his heart sink. “One or two dollars, indeed ! I’ll sell for Afty at the very lowest.” .“I can’t buy you, then.” “Sir!” and the lady’s face was rigid with amazement. “That is—l mean to say—confound it, Maria, I can’t spare that much money, and the poor fellow looked appealingly at the divinity which was about to shape the end of his The young lady rose from her seat with tin* cruel remark 4A who thought so much suitable person to sailed majestically 1 And now ‘•onvtd'< • i w !'■ fi/yV* A upon n- '■ > 1 1 ! 1 eii i p 1 a’>■, /: M R 0 A STE A M ntujt rtr Mont) ini in ft L^^BbBSMBSSBSBs A special Ii;-[I,.iI•)I the following details uM ' „ i of Freneli s inenager At it oyi<^M^^''>wHH£HHHHH| out Oil .), >' a< 1 |je Five £■■■■■■■■■ beyond the■ mong othev'c' ber of wild f ”■-wider <>f his oil it]te'SHßffiHß9Hß|H| all' ,■ to his taw ■ dii - -I the sunimj ■ | ii‘i ■ Piageries. asi;JJ,J wooden , feet, long, eontaiirpj/, ' ;.A‘V ' 1 iron-bitrred . .j# - ‘J| diseovred tie- U'bo/?W‘ ‘ '■ | place was in lfaines. arMgjj| ed with the frantic crnjß*,' * - j ed animals, which -til .V . * ’ 'mm gainst the bars j n ;t ‘JI /* " / | Itt one corner of FheW';'. *" chained the huge peJl’-'d. t .;.. 1 "‘bH Suit an, for many unloose the great brute, with fear, and whose rang out loud and clear above the babel of sounds. But the fastenings were secured, and the flames compelled Mr French to beat a retreat, leaving the poor brute to roast alive where he stood. Every living in mate of the shed was soon burned to death, and all that was left was a mass of glowing embers and red-hot cages. The animals destroyed consisted of live performing lions, once claimed to be worth $12,000, but since depreciated in value; the elephant, two California lions, an ibex, three kangaroos, one tiger,one zebra that had been trained to trot in harness, a sacred cow and her sacred calf, and a Rocky Mountain big horned deer. Besides these there was stored in the building a collection of stuffedauifnals of great value lo the owner, circus paraphernalia upon which no stated value cnn.be placed, and many other things which, while not flguriug in the proprietor’sestiuiate of loss, were, nevertheless, of great val ue to him. The scene during the tire baffled de scription. Two of the lions fell upon each other and fought desperately, and the cries and struggles of other impris oned brutes were pitiful. Fears were entertained that an animal might es cape alive among the crowd of specta tors, and a dozen of men hastily armed themselves to shoot down any poor, Maddened, howling beasts should they k through the cordon of flames; precautions were unnecessary ' : ffis^SSpP/''* s * * " J '* r - French’s ( i Ia < i about ' 'B- oil 'lllinl "• !r >' >n , (>: ■ Bre < M-.-urn-'i B'H to the ill m •■'!! ih'ii. in-.-ii ( . been remo\ ■£nt for the faculty the ghosts of B|ti physican are RS; the door of his Lime of Ills own -a merchant Snnber of his of one. gßhosts waiting Hable praetion- Hb enter any one Kyed all the city he E hosts. Asa and ami was very young ie applicant a practice ‘i * ’ ’ was the re lt’s son came id better dis psician. redited with ianj^^anta ftul. ’ /JK ‘ NO. JO.