Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE WI R E-HR ASS liEPHUTER. PETER E. LOVE AND WILLIAM H. IIA LL, E DITORS. YOLUME T. THE WIRE-GRASS REPORTER. . PUBLISHED TTF.SDAY MORNINGS, OBY LOVE cfc HALL. PBTKR K. I.OVE, [ WILLIAM 11. HAI.L. TERMS: The WlllF. 6ass Reporter i* published Week ly at. Two DOLLARS annum, in adtanee\ , All orders for the Reporter, to receive attention mult be accompanied with the money. Subscribers wishing the direction i.f their paper ; J changed, will notify ns from what office it is to be transferred. The foregoing terms will be strictly observed. Advertisements conspicuously inserted at One Dollar soy the first, and Kfty Cents for eaeh subse quent, insertion. Those sent without a specification of the number of insertions, will be publisheil until Ordered out, ainV charged accordingly. Sales of Land ‘ and -Negroes, by Administrators, Kxocutors, or Guardians, ore required by law to be hold on the first Tuesday in the month, between the hoars of ten in the forenoon Amd three in the ntter- Uoon, at the Court house in the county in which the property is situate. Notices of these sales must be Ri/en in a public, gazette forty days previous to tl/e day of calc. * Notices for the sale of Personal Property, must be given aTTimst TF.S DAY'S previous to the day of sale. Notice to Debtors and Creditors of an Estate must bo published forty day's. Notice that application will he made to the Court of Ordinary for leave to sell Land or Negroes, must bo published w’eeklv for TWO months. Citations for Letters of Administration, must be published thirty Jay? —tor Dismission from Adminis tration, monthly fa r six months —for Dismission from Guardianship, forty Jays. Rivers for Foreclosure of Mortgage must be pub iialioA monthly far Jan rmonths — fur establishing lost papers, for the full space of three months —for compel ling titles from Executors or Administrators, where a hond has been given by the deceased, the full space yf three months. Publications will always be continued according to these requirements, unless otherwise ordered. All business in the line of PRINTING! will meet with prompt attention at the Reporter Okfice. tIL LLLSi!-- ’■ 4 (JLnw Firm.) HARRIS & HARRIS. Ivrrson L. Harris, I Ciiari.es J. Harris, Milledgeville, Ga. | Thomasville, Ga. ■arch 31 w ts Wt'tbl. S. Birch A William Mclcndoii, A1 TORN FA'S AT LAW, TItOMASI'/U. f.. (’F.ORGIA oetH 1!> , 1 way IIAKIvK A BKWHI, A T TORN E Y S AT LAW, Troup rifle, Lowndes Cos., do. : sept 15 w ‘ . ts smm . SPEMKK, ATTORNEY AT LAW, TIIOMASVILLK. GEORGIA.. WTLL give bin #Mitirp attfiitiim to tin* of Law, in the (JoiintW of tlur Smitht*rn i-ircuit. — Office nn tho mpcou 1 fl'or of D. &. K, MoLoaif* ; ■ bri<*k VuilUi)ir. (jmi^Ooy MORGAN ATTORNEY AT LAW, SASnni.lsE,* r.EOKGIA. WILL practice fit thnoountios* f tlto Smithrrn Cir rnit,ninl tlioVotihtifH of Dooly,Worth Mini looigh ortr of the Coffi’t*, Clinch nnd W arc of the HrunMvyiok CircnitH. Flat CLt . (>rt. 7. __ ts j. bi . Ij i \ s-: b\i (at , Attorney and Counsellor at Law. and Solicitor in chancery, 7 L(OMMI lleL /:, (iECfttaiA. WllaTj practice hi in the Courts of South-wcsfeni (ie*i g’uL aiwl >p*ciftll> iu the countiws f LowndiM, Thomas, Decatur hihl Raker. D—ts • , - ‘ DrT \vn .ft. IIA Isis, TFNDKRS bin P.rofeHßional *t*rviciK to the citizcnn of Thoimtfville and vicinity—Residence, the bonne farroe h-y A. 11. llatitM'll —Office, next door below. [ajr2‘J ] (lleform Practice.) V. s. ROWIIR, HI. Dm OFFERS his Professional services ti> tile citizens ot Thomasville ami vicinity. Calls at all hours promptly attended to. ‘ (fcbdtf Drs H. 11. A E. O. AR\OLD, BIS] ©IMT (©.SMTJSiTB, THOMASVILLE, GEORGIA. WE have purchased the Resi<l‘ricc of X)jL_lv. J. Hruee where one ot u* nlwayH be found. Tooth Pow der* And Wanh, atWti* on [jnhT. r >-tf ilarriasos. Busi;ies and lVa?<ms. MANI FACTI HI.I) TO ORDER, IIY JOSR^’'PWI3 V SO* * iw*., AT THE HOUSTON CARRIAGE FACTOET, Houston Ceniity, (icoigia. tyAU work fully guaranteed. ] 18 A At 1 Agent. C. G. ffIcLUVDOA, LICENSED AUCTIONEER. THOM A S VII. I. K, GEORG lAfP* / WILL SELL on every Saturday, and on the first Tuesday in every month, GOODS of every de scription, entrusted to hiut for ssle. July *1 _J ] oy ~ c. M. HARRIS, Gcnoral Commission Merchant. Foot of Monk Street Brunswick, Ga. dec* w ~ t f Adams House. THIS establishment is now perma- ‘ nently opened for the Hcconnnoda riRBEIL ->t'un of the public. Every convenience jI i j llju has been provided tor boarders and tran- 11 sient customers: and the proprietor flu t - ter* himself that, he is now able to give the utmost satisfaction. * GODliOLl), Proprietor. Thomasville, Oft.. March 24, 1K57. ts Land Office. HAVING opened ail Office in Thomasville, Ga., wc w ill buy any Lauds in Southern Georgia, at Reasonable prices, or qpll Lands for the owners on commission. We will also report the value of Lands owned by persons at a distance for a fair conipcnsa ■on. Burch & McLendon* Rout. S. Burcii, ) Thomasvirle. Ga. • Wm. McLendon, j May 26, 1856. 6m Bank Agency. THE subscriber has been spp.oj nka Agent for tlu - Bank of Savannah at this place, and is propos ed to disemmt Bills of Exchange, Drafts, arc?;- ■sod has for sale Checks on New York. / jul yti) EDWARD REYyNGTON. Bendy I*la4c Clothiiip. Ac. ‘ TJfAVING jitat received anew and elegant -JU 11 assortment Os Fauts, Vests, Dress and lj Frook Coats, ghirts, &.C., &., &c., all of tho Jtf. latest faahions;-together with Cloths, Cashmeres, Vettings, Ac., the undersigned is prepared to furnish all who wish to purchase such articles, as low as the market will afford. Garments cut and made to order;’ Call and see for voni selves. JOHN P ARNOLD, Merchant Taylr Tfcomas’ iUP, Nov 27, I ‘d’di ts Select Ipoetrp. From the Southern Monitor. RORt’B KDSING. <T . BY MAC. ’Bout a kiss do ye usk ? It’s me that can tell;, For, ould as I’m now, I am minding it well When a salpeen of three, with how much delight My milhcr kissed Rory and hid him good night. But my mither she died and left Rory behind, And the lasses I met brought her so to niv mind, That at hosing I went, first one and nnither. Becnuse they woae bonnets and looked like my mitli er. At last, would you think it, swate Bridget o,’Fliim Had scarcely been kissed w hen she kissed me again, And tould me a praest, away down in the city, Would sny, if We’d ask him, a bit of a ditty. u A ditty, swate Bridget, and what might it be?” “ Ne’er mind, my dear Rory,but comojust vid me !” We trudged to the city, and sure as my life. He said a short ditty andj;alled her me wife. • We got a wee cottage, a pig and a spade : Bridget sickened; we hired her sister for maid •, The maid I was kissing, when, trim as ye’r there, I felt the ould devil a pulling my huir. “ Begone, ye ould varmint!” 1 yelled in affright, And sort o’ turned arouud to bo getting u sight.;— oWUat did I diskiver ? Instead of an elf, Swate Bridget O’Flarherty there jist herself. D *■ W-~ • r “ O Rory !” *he blubbered, still pulling sway, “ But sick aB iny heart wid yer conduct, to-day ; A kissing my sister while I’m in uiy bed. Nor able to raise from the pillow my head !’’ “ Troth !my Bridget,” says I, “ perhaps ye c'an mind When yr to the kissing were greatly,inclined. Ye kissedimt and kissed nie at Domiy brook fair, And now by the jailers ye’re fmlling my hair. . Begone ! ye ould fool, wid a rumpus like this, I’nil/tily a laming ycr sister to kiss !” SPEAK NO ILL. Nay, s[nak_i:o ill—a kindly word Can never leave a sting behind. Ami oh! to breathe euelUtHle wev’e heard Is far beneath a treble mind. Bull oft a better seed is sown, Hy (hooking thus the kinder plan, For if but little good be known, btil! let uc speak the h.sstr-we ettßv Give ere the hem t that fain would hide— Would fain arsEothor’s faults efface, llow can it fileusure liuiliau |iride To prove humanity hut base ? No, let us reach a higher mood, A nobler!estimate of man: Be earnest in the search for good, And speak of all tlre b*url~*ve~oatt. * * Then speak no ill —but lenient be, To others ns yout ,. * If you’re the first a fault to see, Be not the first to make it known. For life is but a passing day, No lip may tell how brief its span; But oh-! the little time we stay, Let's speak of all t he best we can. Oinniimuvitljrnim. Work. There is a perennial nobleness and even saerrditess in work. -Were lie never so benighted, forgetful of his ‘high calling, there is always hope in a nwb that actually and earnestly works. In. idleness atone there is perpetual despair. Work, never so Mam monish, mean, is in communication with Na turo ; the real desire to get work done will it , self lead one more and more to truth, to Na ture’s appointments and regulations, which are truth. Consider holy, even in the meanest sorts of labor, the whole soul of a man composed into a kind of real harmony the instant lie_sets himself at work. .Doubt, desire, sorrow re morse; indignation, despair’ itself, all these, y u b"-’ ••"‘Vg g| lie beleaguering thesoul of the poor day-worker, as of every man ; but IfK, bends himself with free valor against his task, and all thesh are stilled—all these shrink murmuring far off into their cave. Blessed is he who has found his work; let him askjgno other blessedness.— Car!pie. Life’s Irritabilities. -J£- . Y. What is the use of it ? Ro ymt worry yourself to death of what other people may of .you, as long as you know that it is not true. Take care of the truth ; that is your buisness. All falsehoods go to the bo som oft heir father,the devil, and their framers soon follow. So much as to l'alsohoods of of you. As to falsehoods to you, and as to every tale the most remotely prejudicial to another, treat it and the narrator with the utmost indifference, until you hear the story of the other party ; ’this’only is just, and wise, and kind Poisonous Whiskey. The Lebanon Star records the (leatli of four men from drinking whiskey with strychnine in it. We suppose this only in cludes the sudden deaths from drinking whis key, in that place. From the quantity of strychnine that is used in the manufacture of whiskey, we doubt not that thousands die in this country annually from the effects of poison taken info their system hy drinking this noxious liqnor. To such an extenU ? is this deadly poison used in the manufacture of whiskey, it is said that it kills all the fish ’ih the streams below the distilleries, in some instances the mill-races are being literally choked wilb them. p:f A bevy of little children were feliijig their father what they got at school. The eldest, reading, spelling and definitions. “And what do you get, my little son!” said the father to a rosy-cheekedjJittle fellow, who was at that time slyly driving a tenpeny nail into the door panne). *'Me,J —Oh, I gets reading apd st>anklin.” | J3c Inst ntt& .fenr Noi; Cet all tljc Gfnbs tljon ‘Ximest at be fljn (Conntrn’o, tljn oob s anil- i£rutl)'o. THOMAHVILLE, GEORGIA, OCTOEBEIM3, 1857. The Funsral of Washington. The following from the Ulster count} 7 Ga zette of Jan. 4, 1800, gives a brief account of the funeral of Washington : Georgetown, December 20tb. On Wednesday last the mortal part of Washington —the father of his country and friend of man —was consigned to the tomb with solemn honors, and with funeral pomp. A multitude of persons assembled from many miles around Mount Yer non,the choice abode and last residence of the illustrious chief. There were the groves—the sjiacious avenues —the beautiful and sublime scenes— the noble mansion—but habitant was now no more. That great soul gone. Ilis mortal part was tfrdrc, in deed ! but oh 1 how affecting ! lfow awful the spectacle of worth and oreatuess, thus to mortal eyes fallen—yes, fallen ! fallen ! In the long and lofty portico, where oh the hero walked in all his glory now lay the shrouded corpse. The countenance still composed and serene, seemed to express the ( ignity of the spirit lately dwelt in that lifeless form. There, those who paid the last sad honors to the benefactor of his. country took an impressive and a farewell view. „ On the ornament of the head of tlje coffin was inscribed “ Surge ad. Jmlicum”—about the middle of tlie coffin, Deo”—and on th@ silver plate. — GE N ERA I, GEORGE WASHINGTON . Departed this life on the 14th December, 1799, Mt GB. Between three and four o’clock the sound of artillery from a vessel in the river filling minute guns awoke afresh our solemn sor row—the corpse was moved —a band of mu sic, with mournful melody, melted the ten derness of woe. ... .. The procession was formed, and moved “in the following order : Cavalry; infantry and guard, with arms reversed; music ; clergy ; the General’s with his saddle, holsters and pistols; Cols.Siws Uamsayvrnd I'avnc, pall-bearers. The; corpse, Cols. Gilpin, Marsleller and Little, pall-bearers; mourn ers ; masonic brethren ; citizens. WJ.cn the procession had arrived at th™ bottom of the elevated lawn, on the banks of the I’otomac, where the family vault is placed,the cavalry halted,the infantry march ed towards the mount and formed their liues ; the clergy, masonic brotheis and citizens de scended to the vault, and tin; funeral service of the jjiurch was then perfoniisd. The fir ing was repcatedTrom the vessel in the riv er, atid tho sounds echoed from the woods and hills around. Three geiieral discharges by the infantry, tl>e“cavalry and 11 pieces of artillery, which lined the banks of the Potomac back of the vault, paid the last tribute to tlie entombed commander Os the armies of the United .Status and to the departed hero. The sun was now setting. Alas! thesuri of glory was set forever. No—the name of Washington, the American President and General, will triumph over death ! The luv clouded brightness of his glory will illutnin ale the future ages ! Memory of Brutes One of the Debuqiic“papers gives tire-fol lowing interesting ~narrative in relation to Herr Driesbaejr, the-“ lion-tamer “ Last evening we, with two companions, walked up street with a very worthy farmer from w ithin one mile of Potosi, Wisconsin, w.lio talkerhabout Iris ‘ pigs, geese and ducks,’ I and w ith'w hat success lie*tilled his farm.— As an instance of his successful till he stat ed.that he sohl the product of from fifty met square of his farm of which lie kept an ac count, foivforty-tliree dollars. Hence it may he se*n that this farmer, Herr Driesbnch, lias some skill as well as~pride in his farming.— Our.chief object in taking the walk.was that Herr desired us to witness a meeting between himself and old pets of the menagerie,which he had not seen for more than a year, and which of course, we were most anxious to witness, to see whether time, travel and change had obliterated from their recollec tions their old master. On entering the can vass, which was before the audience began to collect, llerr desired us to stand before the cage of the Bengal ‘Piger, lie remaining” •at the door the while. This tiger, from some old sore, had just as old a grudge against hiin. nnd in days of yore managed to give a marked demonstration of the This cage was selected for the first test ..of recog nition. While we w’ere stationed immedi ately in front, llerr came sauntering along carlessly, habited in a farmer’s-costuinc, and as lie neaped the cage the tiget’s eyes began to glisten with great brilliancy as they bore, directly upon him mid at the samd time, a low guttural grpwl began to raise in his throat which burst out in a ferocious howl as lie leaped at the bars to get at him when he pass ed by. Tliid experiment was .tried several times .with the same rosnlt, and when at length Herr spoke to him, his rage knew no bonnds, leaping at the bars, lie dashed his paw’s out to tear him, and only ceased when his old master w'alked out of his sight** “'file next place we were.desired to re move to was the largo cage containing a large lion, tjvo leopards and a lioness. We mention therij'tbus as it is the order they stand in the cage, it being divided into apart ments. As Herr apjiroached this cage the lioness caught sight of him, and her eyes beamed with pleasure, while her tail wagged a glad recognitioti. On his coir itig up to her and presenting his face to the cage,she kissed him, aild placed her paw in his hand with all the air of an intense affection. -~i “ Indeed while lie was in her presence she d;d not know how to control herself, but would Ijck his hand while, ho attempted to pat her, roll over, reach out her paws to him and press her nosu between the bars as though she would like to have had a closer presence. While Herr was talking to the lioness,old lion in the other end of the cage bqPr to get jealous and gronibled, for “be too had recognized his wid friend. Herr stud to nitn, ‘ Billy getting jealous !’ and then walked up to (uni when the creature crowd ed against the bars to get closer to him if it were possible, and kissed his face and licked his hands with as great demonstrations of de light as the other. The leopards too, iu the same-cage,knew their old master, and watch ed him as the} 7 lay with their noses to the bars of their cage with evident pleasure, and seemed highly pleased as lie spoke to them. In all our days wo do not recollect any exhibition that gave us so much satisfac tion as did this meeting of old friends, and while we watched.them in their congratula tions, we could not make up our mind which was the most delighted, Driesbach, to know that he was not forgotten by these affection ate creatures, or that they were once jncire in his presence. While we were watching llerr and his old companions, the crowd be- , gan to gather iu, and our companions and self departed highly gratified at the resiilt. Character of Aaron Burr. BY WILLIAM WALLACE. If Blaunerhusse.tt had been the only per son ruined by BuiWi chaKty -woiiltI 7 (i'^eSrW“’ burial of our remembrance, of the Exile’s, desolation. But the victim* of Burr are to lie numbered by hundreds. The base and the peaks iJ’ socTTity, alike, .show the scathing “mark's of bis fiery visitation. He cherished no friendship jhe returned unlionore.d the drafts of Gratitude; he kin dled the flame of lusts at the very fireside of hospitality, and felt little pleasure in bidding adieu to tho Lare\ of his host until the dear est objects that flourished under their sacred influence was sacrificed. Biit for the deep affection which he manifested towards his daughter, 1 its sole merits seem to have been coolness a'lul courage; and yet, clustering as were tlie lau'rels which they bhowered on his. brow, his baser passions.so predominated that he held it more glorious to seduce a woman than to shine in the field nfJefters, to settle the steeps of philosophy, or to wave a bnpnci victoriously in battle lie courted the man his wife— the .statesman to profit by his iufkicnce-r-the millioiiiare to .obtain li:s money—and the world to gratify his 7 desjrfis! He was the more dangerous from the possession of an • intellect massive, piercing and brilliant, uni ted to a form at once handsome and vigor ous. Ilis mind was but the keen weapon with which he hewed a path to conquest. — 1 That--weapon was protean. If the victim tally came under the gaze of an eye whose sharp light resembled lightning imprisoned and forever playing in a cloud as black as death—she “as forever lost. Burr’s conver sation was iiresislahly fascinating—for his hands swept every chord of the human heart. | lie strewed the rosy paths of the happy with (lowers ,of a still brighter hue; he arched the troubled sky of tlie despon ding. oitli tlie rainbow of hope ; he conjur ed up before, the rapt vision of the avaricious, golden Golcondas ; and to the aspiring he pointed out the illuminated vistas of Glory. ! Tims he’ st.dod : gifted and unprincipled, ruthless and terrible. The want of great fortune, alone prevented his presenting, in one. vast Alpine mass, that evil which he ac-‘ eoiuplished Imt too successfully in many de tails. (’litince confined to valleys, compara tively humble, the stupendous giacicrs'wliich only needed the rays of the sun of the for tune to devastate continents. It may be asked : 4 ‘ Is not his valor on the battle-fields of his country to be remem bered !*’, Yes! Thatr was a redeeming” : thing. No matter from what motive his mil- I itary talents were exercised, our land reaped some benefit. Brit we arc forced to doubt ‘the patriotism of tfhe who w;m w 5 ready to ffirswe.ii his allegiance; who trampled on so imsch that men hold sacred, and wno regard ed ins exploits against royal tyrany less glo* lions tinin the moral ’destruction of a human being: Age is expected to subdue ; but with Burr, tlie winter of,tune brought no snow to cool the lava of passion. At four-score and six the charter wore a glow as ardent, as at twenty ! His faculties mocked at a century. Age. should bri 1135. the r soot-hing calin of re l:g)on to prepare tempest-tost bark for its entrance into another and final Sea ; Burr died as he had lived—a practical Atheist.— Age should bring respect. Burr expired as he had existed, without the regard of the good. His hoary hairs went down to the grave, floating on the breeze of infant^’. In cuipiing, an lago ; in lust, a tarquin{ in patience, a Catalitie; in pleasure, a Syba rite ; iregratitude, a Malay,'aiul iu ambition a Napoleon, he affords (lie world an awful (xample of powerful intellect destitute of virtue. Jfis portrait would fitly appear iri a circle of Cante’s Inferno. _ Let no one accfise tlie speaker of stepping with sandalled feet through flic soleym se pulchre. Aaron Burr belongs to History.— duett teas the tot he elude. > a calm blue-eyed self-composed, and self possessed young lady in a vilage “down cast,” received a long call,thq other day,from a pry ing old spinster, who,after prolonging her stay beyond even bev own conception of the young lady’s endurance, tamo to the main question whiclr'%broug!it her thither: —-“I’ve been ask ed a good many Mimes it you was engaged to Dr. C- . Now, if folks inquire again whether you bo or not, what shall I tell, ’em I. think!”— them,” answered the young lady, fixing her calm blue eyes in unblushing steadiness upon tlie inquisitive features of her interrogator, “tell them that you think you don’t know, and you ai <i sure it is none of yuag business.” Daniel Webster penned the following beau tiful sentiment: If we work upon marble it will perish; if upon brass it will efface; if wo rear temples they crumble into dust; but ifjvojvork upfin our iuTmiotal souls—if we imbue..them with princijdfes, with the just fear of God, aud our fellow men, we engrave on those tablets something which will brighten to eternity. ,— i —- ■ ■’ t Laziness travels so slow, that poverty soon Overtakes her. A Sonnet by Daniel Webster. The N. Y. Courier is indebted to the kind ness of a lady for the privilege of publishing the following lines by Mr. Webster written in the Album of an American friend while on his visit to England. Our readers, we iH'liever-wijl agree with us in thinking it a happy idea, linpily expressed. ‘ THE KEXOST OF THE HEART ts stores of dry aud learned lore we gain, Close we keep them.in the memory of tlu< brain; Names, things, and facts—ivhate'er we knowledge call, There is the common lodger for them ill; And images on this cold surface traced, Make alight impressions, aud are soon effaced. But w e're a page more glowing end more bright, On which our friendship, and our lute to w rite. That these may never from the soul depart. We trust them to the memory of the heart There is no dimming—no efface men t beret Each new pulsation keeps the record dear; Warm golden letters on tho tablet fill, Nor lose their lustre tilt the heart stands still. --London, Nov. 19,183 ft Sat Lovengood's Shirt. B\ SS U OFTKNN. The first person I met was “Sut” fafter crossing the Hiawsssee,) “ waviug aud mov ing along” in his usual rambling, uncertain gait. His appearance at once satisfied, me thit something was wrong. Ho had been sick, whipped iri free fighfor was just outgrow ing one of his big drunks. But upon this point I was soon enlightened. “ Why, Sut, what’s wrong now t” * Heap’s wrong; durn roe skin if I stint mosts ded. Lite off that boss, George, an’ take a hrirn,.while I take two (shaking that everlasting flask of his at me), an’ plant yerself on that ar log, an’ I’ll tell ye es I ken, but it’s most beyond teilin.’ 1 recken I’m the danidest, fool out eti Utaw scept my dad, for he acted boss, an’ 1 hant that yet—allots in some trap that cudent kech a sheep, I’ll drown myself sum day, see es I don’t, just to stop a family dispersition to makd ‘di—d fools on themselves.” . y‘ How is it, Sut, have yon been beat play ing cards, or drinking, which is it I” “ Nara one; that can’t be did in these parts; but seiu’ it’s you, George, I’ll tell you; but I swar I’tn ’shamed, sick sbrry, and—and—road— I atn. “ Jfe know I boards with Carr, at bis oab iu on the mountain, aud pays for sich as I gets when i bev money, an’ when I beverit any why hctakeson-tbirdoutenmeincussin’; and she that’s his wife, Bets, takcstot.her two thirds with the battliu stick, and the intrust with her tongue, and the intrust’s inoro’n the princi’!—a heap more. She’s the eussedes ’oiuan I ever seed eny Low, for jaw, breed in’and pride. She can scold a blister into a bull’s face right on the euil in two minits. She outbreeds uv’rything on tlie riv er—and pattern arter every fashion she hears tell on, from husshels to britches. Oh ! she’s one on ’em’ and sometimes site’s two or three, Well you se.% I got some home-made cotton truck to make anew shirt outen, and coaxod Bets to make it and about the time it were dun, here comes lawyer Johnson along aud axed lor bicakfus—l wish it had pizened him, durn his hide, and I wonder it didn’t for she cooks awful mixings when she tries. I’m pizen proof, myself (holding up his flask and peep ing through it), “ or I’d,been dead language. - “ Well, while he were eaten, she spied out {hat his shirt was_stiff an’ mfty slick ; so she got a few particulars about the proceed ings onten him hy ’Oman’s arts —l don’t know liowjdie did it, perhaps lie docs Arter he left, sue. set in aud Idled a big pot of paste —nigh onto a peck of it an’ soused in me sheet an’ let soak awliite, then she tuck iri arid iroficd it out flat and dry, and sot it up on its jiidgc agin the cabin in the sun. Thar it stood as stiff as n dry boss hide, an’ it rat tled like a sheet; of irpn, it did. It wero pasted together all over. When I cum lo dinner nothin’ wud do hut I must put it on. Well, Bets an’ me got the thing open alter some hard work she pulling at one of the tailsnud meat the {other, an’ 1 got into it. Durn the everlasting new fangled shert, I say; It felt like i had ciawled into an old Lee gutn an’hit full of piss-ants ; but it were liko lawyer Johnson’s and I stud it like a man. aud weut to wok powerful hard and swot like a boss, and when the sheet got wet it quit its hurlin’. “ I got dun I took about four fingers of and crawled up into the cabin loft to snuze. “ Well when I waked up I thought I was ded, had the Celery,, for all the joints I could move wer my ankles, wrists knee—could’nt even move my head, and skaSoly wink niv eyes—the cussed short was pasted fast 7 onto me all over my years. It sot to me as close as a poor co,w does to her hide in March. I pqnirmcd and strained till I sorter got it broke at the shoulders aud elbows, and then I done the darndest foolish thing ever did in these mountains. I shuffled my britches off tore loose from my hide about two iOches of the tail afound, in much pain and tribulatiou -Oil, but it did hurt ! Then I took up a plank onten the loft arid hug ray legs down through the hole and- nailed the edge of the front tail to the floor before me, and the hind tail to the plank wot I sofoir. I unbotteued the eolar and rishniuls, r*od my hands away abqve my head shut my eyes, said gruce aud jumped through to the ground florc.” Here But remarked sadly; “George, I'm a durnder fool than ever dad was, hoss; hornets and all.’ I’ll drown my-, self sum of these days, see es I don’t.” “ Well go,on,Sut; did the shirt come off?” “ I—t-h-i-n-k—it—d-i-d. I hoard a noise softer like tearing of a shingle off ot a house at onst, and felt like my bones were all that readied the floi e. I staggered to my feet and took a look at my shirt. The nails hud all hild their hold, and darit were hang ing, arms down, inside out, aud as still as ever. looks like the map of Mexico jnst i arter one of the first battles—a patch uv my hide about the size of a dollar and hautf hill here ; a hunch of sav. har, about the size of a ... . - -I Tkrms:—TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM IN ADVANCE. JsrerMßiffß 5. bird’s nest thar : then some more h; H . some paste; then a little more bar’ than skin, and so on all over the Anr~itd* m> , fangled, everlasting, infernal cum ot a ahM. It was a picture to look at—an’ so vaa I. The iiide, har and paste were about equally divided ft ween me and hit. Wonder what Beta darn her, thort when she com Imise and found me missing. Bpecfs she thinltaj crawl ed’ into a thicket and died of y wounds. It must have scared her good, fori tell jm it looked like the akin of some wild beast teas off alive, or a bag what bad kmriad a load ov fresh beef from a shooting match, r p~- “Now, George, if ever f ketch that law yer Johnson out I'll shoot him, an ifemraa’ ’“man talks to me abont ttat’n'.n* a abort for it darn my everlastin’ pictures I don’t flatten her. Its ritribution sartin, the biggaet kiad of a preacher’s ritributton. Do tninanakai jay driving of dad through that hernet'a Tiest, and then raciug of him Inter the kreek f” •’ Yea,” * “Well, tiiis is what cornea of K. I'll drown myself some of these days, see of I don’t—es I don’t die from thatawfal] shert Ike a horn, and don’t you try a sticky shert as long as you live. When the French Academy defined aCmb as ‘a small red fish, which walks backward,’ and triumphantly appealed to Caviar to applaud the .brevity and felicity of the des cription, that eminent natural}* replied: ‘Per fect, gentlemen : only,’ if yon will glee me leave, I will make one observation: tbeerab is not a fish ; it is not red; it do not walk backward!’ A slight removal of ’premises!’ Cuvier was a good deal of a war. Jffe dldn.t believe in the existence of spirits,* sad was wholly free from timidity. Some wagon 000 occasion planned an attaempt to frighten him One oftheir. number, dressed himself la hide, boots, and horns, after the most approved fashions in which his Satanic Majerty Is por trayed, met him during his evening walk w his garden. ‘Who are you V asked Cuvier. ‘ The Devil ? ’ answered a • sepulchral voice proceeding from the ‘Presepce.’ ‘ WelL wliat do you want with me T * I have *nrott to cat you up-!* Cnvier stepped back a few paces, eyed the Figure ftom bead to foot a moment; then said, slowly and meditatively ; ‘Umph: horns—hoofs—gramiuiverous; it can't t>e done l ’ And, lie quietly resumed his walk, while the Devil made the best of his way out of tho garden. ” What ha t brought you here V ’ said a lone woman, who was quite “ flnstrated,” the other morning, by an early call from e bache lor neighbor who lived opposite .and whmA aka regarded with peculiar I came to borrow matches.”—” Matches! that’aalikely story ! Why don’t you make a match your self? I know whatyou come for,” cried the exasperated old virgin, as she backed the bachelor in the cornrir; “yon came hereto kiss me almost to death! But you shan't, without you are the strongest, and the Lord knows yon are ! A Dutchman was relating his marvelous escape from drnwniog when 1 3 of his com panions were lost by the upsetting of a boat, and he alone was saved. “ And how .Hid you escape their fate?” asked one of fus lieaiers. “ I tid not eo in te tam pote {” was the Dutchman's placid answer. An editor got shaved in a barber shop lately, and offered the darkey a dine, which was refused, because, said he, “ I understand you is an editor.” “Well what. of that?” “Ye never charge editors mrffin!” “Brit such liberality will ruin you.” “Oh, nrib ber mind, we make it up off the grmmm /” “ What aterwages here?” asked laborer of a hoy.—” I don’t know, sir.”—“ What doffs your lather get on Saturday nigh ?”— •* Get?” said the boy ; •• why, he gets as tight as I brick.” “ Pa? wlmt. is the interest of a kiss f*‘ ask ed a sweet sixteen of her sire.—“Well, really, 1 don't know. Why do you ark r** “ Because John borrowed a kiss of me, last night, and Said he’d pay it back with interest,’ after wc w'ere married.” A Pedlar calling on an old lady to dispose of somegoods, inquired of her if she could tell him of any. road on which no pedUr had ever traveled. •Yes,” said she, “I know, one, and the only one, and that’s the road of heaven.” I It wont do for a man to bump Ids head against an iron post, even with a brisk iqJ&la hat, unless he conscientiously belives ISM , his head is the hardest. . >rt The cautious woman writes her promises ; on a slate. The seusible woman uever ■ makes any. . . , V£ ry :r■ . ■ i A knavish attorney asked a vary worthy i gentleman wbat was honesty. “ What ia that to yon /” said he ; “ meddle with those things that concern you most.” - X Groom signifies one who servesrn an infe* I rior station. The name of bridcgThom Vrtfe formerly given to the new married, because it was customary for lym to wait at table oh his bride and friends, on bis wcdulng-day. Hkalth in Youth.— Late hours, irregu lar habits, and want of attention to are common errors with most yofmg men, and those gradually, and at first imperceptibly, undermine the health, and lay the foundation for various fbrrns of disease hi after life. It 1 is a very difficult thiag to make young people s believetbis. Indeed,nearly all the shattered constitutions with which too many are eanM > are the result of a disregard tp tbo plainest precepts of health in early life- If poison should ha swallowed accidental ly, take two tablo-spooiifuls of ground mns -1 tard, mixed in warm water. ft will operate as an instantantanous emetic. v