Newspaper Page Text
N. C,NA PIFR, Publisher
THUS. J . WATSON, Editor
VOLUME IV.
Railroads.
Ickasaw Route,
p,
ASSENTFII TRAINS DAILY
MEM HA IS, TENN.
pass. e x ,
anoxia 8 30 am 8 10 pm
: " son 10 00 a*m 9 45 . m
Mbo,- o 10 35a m 10 22 p m
tar 1 25 p m 1 00 a m
,aoe 12 00 n’n 2 10am
“ wrand Junction.... 727 prn 725 a m
Arr Memphis 0 30 p m....;.9 45 a m
so ('io connection is made at Memphis
wi'.h the Memphis & Little Rock
Railroad lor all points in
ARKANSAS AND TEXAS.
The time by this line from Chattanoc
t?n to Memphis, Little Rock, and points
beyond, is five hours quicker than by anv
other line.
Hi rough Passenger CoaeSies and Baggage
Cars from
CHATTANOOGA to LITTLE ROCK
Without Change.
y° Other Line Offers these
Advantages.
TICKETS NOW SELLING AT
THE LOWEST RATES.
For further information call on or
write to J. M. SUTTON,
TVsensror Apt., Chickasaw Route,
IhO. Box 224. Chattonooya, Tenn. |
Alan Great Mm R’y
Time Card,
Taking effect January 15tb, 1832.
SOUTH BOUND.
No. 1. Mail.
. Arrive. Depart.
Aha tancoga am 8 25
Wauhatchie 840 do 841
Morganville 859 do ” 900
Trenton 916 do **' 917
Rising Fawn 937 do 938
Attalla 12 20 do 12 35
Birmingham 255 do 301
Tuscaloosa 523 do 525
Meridian 10 00 do
Charles B. Wallace, H. Colter an,
Superintendent. Gen’l Pass. Agt
Mashville. Cliattancoia & St. Louis R ! y.
ahead of all competitors.
business m kn. tourists, nr m r h/i nr n
emigrants, families, nL.mtmDLn
The itoM K?ontp to TiCiiisville, Cincinnati, Indi
anapolis, Chicago, and tbe North, is via NHih
Title.
Tl, f ****** to S. Loirs and tho West is
tlh Itfcltenzle.
*°'f t# West and I •
tiss.snipi, Arkansas and Texas roints is
Tin JfeKcnute.
DON’T FOUGET IT.
—By this Line jou secure the—
MAXIMUM
or Expense. Anxiety,
irl 11" I It! Ulf I Hollier, Falisrne.
Be sure to huy your tickets over tne
N. C„ & St. L. R’y.
THE INEXPERIENCED TRAV
ELER need not sro amiss; few changes
■are necessary, and such as ate unavoida
foie are made in Union Depots.
Through Sleepers
BETWEEN —
Atlanta and Nashville, Atlanta and Lou
isville., Nashville and St. Louis, via Co
lumbus, Nashville and Louisville, Nash
ville and Memphis, Martin aud St. Louis,
Union City and St. Louis, McKenzie and
Little Rock, where connection is made
with Through Sleepers to all Texas pionts.
Call on or address
A. B. Wrenn Atlanta, Ga.
J. H. Peebles, T. A. Chattanooga, Tenn.
W. T. Rogers, P. A. Chatanooga, Tenn.
W. L. Dani.ey, G. P. and T. A.,
Nashville, Tenn.
Rising Fawn Lodge, No. 293, meets
first and third Saturday nights of each
month. J. W. Russey, W. M.
S. H. Jhurman, S.c’ty.
Trenton Lodge, No. 179, meets once a
a month on Friday .night- on or before
the full moon.
W. U. W. M.
G. M. Cra pee, Sec’ty.
Trenton Chapter No. I R. A. "M.,
meets on the third Wed esiay night of
each month,
M. A. B. Tatum, H. P.
W. U. Jacoway', Sec’ty.
Court of Ordinary meets on first Mon
day of each month.
G. M. Cfabtree Ordinary.
S. H. Thurman, Circuit Court Clerk
B. P' Majors, Sheriff,
Joseph Oolemsn, Tax Receiver,
D. E. Tatum. Tax Collector,
Joseph Kner, Coroner,
Wm. Morrison, Surveyor.
Quinty ffo*
bISIM, I'AWN, BADE COUNTY, GEORGIA, THURSDAY,OCTOBER 19, 1882.
TOPICS OP THE DAY.
! Lteut - DantjnSoWer has accepted
Yoout. twenty invitations to deliver his
| Arctic lecture.
The Lord Chancellor of England re
| ceives a salary equal to that of the
President of the United States.
The story that President Arthur’s son
•s engaged to the daughter of Congress
man Crowley is officially denied.
The registration in New York City for
the first day this year exceeds that on
first day last year, by about 20,000.
Miss La Forge, who was betrothed to
Lieutenant Clapp, of the Jeannette, has
Jied insane with grief at his unhappy
fate.
Brazil has ratified a treaty with
China permitting Chinese emigration.
The Chinese are needed for coffee plan
tations.
The Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon has of
latp been suffering severely from tho
gout. He is about to leave London for*
Mentone.
Governor Crittenden, of Missouri,
denies the story that he introduced
Frank James to Mrs. Crittenden as his
“friend.”
The Duke of Athole plants every year
from (>OO,OOO to 1,000,000 trees. He is
said to be the most extensive tree-planter
in the world.
Senator Pendleton’s new house on
Sixteenth street, Washington, has mas
sive gilded sunflowers at the top of the
lightning-rods.
Senator Hale, of Maine, is in such
poor health that he will be unable to
take any further active part in this fall’s
political contests.
Miss Mary Hill has been admitted to
the Connecticut bar by the Supremo
Court of that State, aud is the first of
her sex to gain that distinction.
Hon. Alexander Mackenzie, ex-
Promier of the Dominion, has been pre
sented with an address and a purse
c. utainiug $5,500 by his old constituents
of the County of Lambton, Ontario.
It is related that when a young man,
in General Robert Toombs’ presence,
objected to Milton’s “Paradise Lost,”
that it was obscure, Toombs said with
pity: “Milton was blind; he couldn’t
see to write for fools. ”
One of Arabi’s tents at Tel-el-Kebir
was lined with crimson damask silk;
the other was embroidered with forget
me-nots, pomegranates and other fruits,
in a manner which would put some tine
art needlework associations to the blush.
The colossal statue of Lord Boacops
field which is to be set up in Parliament
Square, London, this winter, will repre
sent the deceas'd statesman at that
period of his career when he returned
triumphant from the Congress of Berlin.
Mbs. Amanda Smith, who was once a
slave in Delaware, and who is well
known in many churches in this coun
try, has reached Monrovia, Liberia, af
ter three years of successful evangelistic
work in Great Britain and the East
Indies.
Milk is said to be growing in favor in
England as a substitute for beer, and
tlie Northwestern Railway Company lias
been buying a large herd of cows. 500 in
one purchase, proposing henceforth to
supply milk to thirsty travelers, who
have no recourse except beer.
A Mississippi gentleman has offered
two prizes for the State Fair—a box of
kid gloves for the handsomest unmar
ried lady and a gallon of whisky to the
man who writes the best essay on tem
perance. _
The Rothschilds are virtual owners of
one fifth of the fertile lands in the Delta
of the Nile. Their share in Egyptian
bonds is popularly estimated at £12,000,-
000. Au envious anti-Semite calculates
shat the income of Baron Wilhelm
Rothschild is about £2B per hour, or
aiue shillings per minute.
An absurd story going the rounds of
lie continent is that Arabi surrendered
because he was suffering from pains in
he slomach. He is said to have tele
graphed to Sir Garnet Wolseley: “As
you have good doctors, will join you
diortly. Prefer captivity with the Eng
lish to cholera in Egypt.”
Nearly nine years have elapsed since,
m October 31, 1873, the Spragues, of
Rhode Island, failed. They had assets
valued at $20,090,000, while their liabil
ities were $6,000,000 less than th.
Amount. The estate was put in the
“Faithful to the Right, Fearless Agninst Wrong,”
j hands of an assignee, and it was hoped
. that in two or three years all olaims
: would be settled or greatly reduced, but
one legal complication after another has
followed. The many suits which have
be n passed upon by the courts have not
been adjusted with much consistency,
and to-day tile ptoporty is in more of a
tangle than ever.
An Erie, Pennsylvania, physician and
chemist, Dr. Lovett, is credited with
discovering a process of embalming
which consists of placing in .a coffin
from which the air has be6n exhausted,
several ingredients, that being dissolved
Iby electricity fill the Vacuum with a
preservative gas. The body of a young
child in the first stages of decomposition
has already been preserved nearly two
months without change, decay being ar
rested and the odor of decomposition
destroyed. He also claims it Asa pre
servative of meat, his experiments so far
having been successful, The gas is not
injurious to food no? to Water.
The new census of London, shoe ing
the population to be 4,764,312 souls, has
drawm out from Land, the English
journal, some striking contrasts. “There
are,” it says, “in London more than
double the number of people in Den
mark, including Greenland; nearly three
times as many as in Greece; more than
eighteen times the population of Monte
negro; some thousands more than Portu
gal, including the Azores and Maderia;
nearly treble the population of tiefvial
more than double that of Bulgaria;
three-quarters of a million more than in
Holland; more than Swedon, or Norway,
or Switzerland.” “And yet,” adds the
same p iper “this splendid capital, tlio
most populous and wealthy city the
world has ever seen, is practically with
out a government.”
Plant Growth Viewed as to Time.
Plants are arranged in three groups
as to their period of existence, namely:
Annual, biennial, perennial; that is,
xv: e'.lier tliay 1 ive for one, two, or more
than two years. The natural beginning of
a seed-bearilig t latit is thegroxvtli from
the seed, or germination. The early
li e of all plants in the three groups is
very much the same. It is an en.arge
n.ent of the embryo, or young plantlet,
that was formed in tho seed beh re it, Was
separated from the mother p’ant. TIPs
first growth is at the expense of food
that was packed away with the embryo,
either within or around its thickened
seed leaves, and both the p’ant and the
food that is to nourish its first
growth are surrounded by protective
coverings, called the seed coats. Germi
nation, though a complicated chemico
vital process, is in essence the forc
ing of the young plant from its sur
rounding coverings and the establish
ment of ii elf in the soil and tlie sunshine.
TIP- is a ]> oct'ss that is common to all
plan s that gov Horn seel-, 'the be
g n dug of an inilepend mt existence is
ti.e !oi mal on o a see l, and with the
see ls the cycle is completed. '1 he aim
o! u cry plant is the multiplication and
per e-nation o; its kind, and as the seed
is tho common loan in which plant
units are east off, it is clear that in the
formation of seed we fiaxe the end
toward which vegetation tends.
in tli ■ annual plant the whole round
of life is comj leted in a single year; ft
germ nab s, develops its system of
roots, stems and leaves, produces its
lowers and perfects its offspring—the
seed, all with n the compass of a single
year. With this work done the old
plant dies. In the biennial the method
is somewhat different. The first year is
devoted to the work of accumulating
material out of wlii h the plant makes
its seeds t lie follow ing year. Compared
w tli the annual there is an unusual de
velopment of roots and foliage, and to
ward 1 lie end of simmer, a storing up
of a large amount of concentrated lood
in some i art of the plant. Contrast the
barley plant with its short life of a lew
months, and simple straightforwardness
in all its process's, with the carrot,
turnip or beet, which has a large root
system and many leaves, for the first
year, and an accumulation of starch,
sugar, etc., in tlie main root, at the end
of the eason. No seeds have been
formed, and the end of the plant's exist
ence has not been reached. 'The next
season the fleshy root sends up a flower
stem, and the store of organic matter,
starch, etc., that was made the previous
season is used up in the formation and
perfecting a large number of seeds.
The original plant loses its life in the
production of many offspring or seeds.
In the third class is included all of
our trees and shrubs, and a vast number
of herbs that are known by the general
term of perennials. They grow on
from year to year, and in most eases
have no definite time in which to com
plete the cycle. The first year of the
young tree, maple or oak, is materially
Uiiierent lrom that of the annual oats or
Iftennial beet; its time for getting ready
for the production of seed is lengthened
out through several years. After the
time for the bearing of offspring has
come, centuries may pass before death
ensues, in each year of whi h, if condi
t ons are favorable, seeds may he
formed. The process may be so slow
that more than a single season is re
quired for the growth and perfection of
a seed. —American Agriculturist.
—The Pennsylvania Academy of Fine
Arts is said to own the finest collection
of costumes in the United States.
The Money-Order System.
The Superintendent of the Money-
Order Division of the Post-office Depart
ment sent out on Saturday an order that
hereafter, xvhert a money-orddf lias re
mained sixty days irt a post-office with
out payment beitjg demanded, the post
master Bhalt send tt private riotiee to the
payee, it his address is known, inform
ing him of the fact and giving the name
and address of the remitter. The payee
is requested bv the circular to present
the corresponding order for payment,
if it is in his possession; or, if it lias not
been received, to obtain it, if praetica*
ble, front the remitter, arid, lit tile event
of its loss in transit or otherwise, to sug
gest to the remitter that he make appli
cation for a duplicate.
This ciircdlar is a nw departure in tho
policy of the Money-Order Divis oil. arid
is one that ought to have been made
years ago. Had it been adopted on the
start, there would not now be in the
Treasury to tile credit of tlm money
order system the great Slim of over il
milliott and a quarter Of dollars, the act-
Oretiott df nioiiey-drVier.s fiCnuiinitig un
paid. Not a dollar of this fund belongs
to the Government. It belongs to peo
ple who paid for orders, which, largely
through the defects of the postal sys
tem, and and not reach the person? to whom
they were sent. It may safely be said
that nine-tenths of this sum could have
been made to reach the payees, or could
have been re'ununi to the remftters, had
not a policy 7 of concealm mt been adopt
ed. Instead of seeking earnestly either
to pay the money to the payees or re
turn it to the remitters, a rule xvas
adopted forbidding a postmaster, Under
penalty of dismissal, to furnish the very
information noxv ordered to be given by
the new circular.
If the department is content with the
present step, it will fail ti do all that it
should do to stop such a wrongful deten
tion of the people's money. It is evi
dent that the payee of an unpaid order
hiavbe out of reach alter sixty days,
and so may never receive his notice.
In such a case, after the lapse of another
thirty days, the remitter should be no
tified that the money he has deposited
remans unpaid. As of course the
payee has the first claim to payment, it
would be necessary to provide that
some set time—perhaps six months ad
ditional—should elapse before a repay
ment xvas made to tho remitter.
NOi* should the effort to be honest stop
here. Every means should be taken by
publication of lists and otherwise faith
fully to disburse the fund now on hand
before passing a law to cover it into the
Treasury. In ever, oilier respect j(hc
money-order syst an is a pre
cision aud effect veuess, in the
matter of this lapsed order fund it is
probably less at fault than any other sys
tem in the world, and the step it has
now taken is one in advance of most,
other systems. Tint nothing can be said
in favor of covering such a lund into
the Treasury until every means has
been exhausted to find the real owners
cf it. —Washington Cor. N. Y. Evening
Post. ±
Stick to the Broomstick.
Did you ever sqe a woman throw a
stone at a hen? it is one of the most
ludicrous scenes in every-day life. We
recently observed the process —indeed
we paid more attention than the hen
did, for she did not mind it at all and
laid an egg the next day as if nothing
bad happened. In fact, that hen will
now know for the first time that she
served in the capacity of a target. The
predatory fowl had invaded the pre
cincts of the flower bed, and was in
dustriously pecking and scratching foi
the nutritous seed or the early worm,
blissfully unconscious of impending
danger. The lady now appeared upon
the scene with a broom. This she drops
and picks up a rocky fragment of the
Silurian age, then makes her first mis
take—they all do it—of seizing the pro
jectile with the wrong hand. '1 hen, with
malice aforethought, she makes the
further blunder of swinging lier arms
perpendicularly instead of horizontally
—thereupon the stone fiies through the
air, describing an irregular elliptical
curve, and strikes the surface of the
e titli as far from the hen as the
thrower stood at the time, in
a course due west from the |
same, the hen then bearing by the
compass north-north-east by half cast.
At the second attempt the stone narrow
ly missed the head of the thrower her
self, who, see ng any further attempt
would be suicidal, did what she might
have done first, started after the hen
with an old and familiar weapon. The
moral of which is: Stick to the broom
stick. —Providence Herald.
A Frightful Leap.
The other night a passenger changing
cars at Harper’s Ferry was leaning
a:pain-t the railing on the river side,
when a train came along, and, fearing
he might not be safe, he sprang lightly
over the railing, having mistaken the
river, as he afterward stated, for a
meadow. His stunning amazement
mav be better imagined than described
when, after a fall of thirty or forty feet,
he sank in ten feet of muddx, sxvilt
running water. He. however, had suffi
cient presence of mind to keep his head
above water, and was carried down to
the bridge, where he drifted against a
pier, and, climbing to a ledge, called
for help. When he was rescued he re
fused to tell anything about himself.
Fortunately, the river was high, as gen
erally the spot where he fell is bare,
and iiad it been so then he would have
been killed.
—A writer in Ysletta, El Faso Coun
ty, Tox.. e aims that place was ,'ettled
as early as 1540, and that the and eds to
the ■ hutch property in the place ore 150
years old.
TERMS— SI.OO pr Annum Grietly in Advance.
Professional Wailings Over Funerals.
In the wilds of Kerry Patch, upon the
rickety door of a little cabin, is marked
this legend:
: Corps ;
: w siskin
; done here.
The Town Talkrir does not often get
within the metes and bounds of the
Kingdom of Kerry, but of late his busi
ness has taken him through the settle
ment, as a short cut, very frequently,
and each time he has read and pondered
this announcement. Was it true that
this “xVashin’ ” was done there: and, in
that case, did the friends of the depart
ed bring the “corps” around to this
place, and were these peculiar facilities
for tho prosecution of the business? Or
did thd statement mean that parties
having a “corps’’ could here find a pro
gressive valet do chambrC for the dead?
There was somothingso delightfully lugu
brious in the affair that one day I tapped
at the door, and entered. I was met by
a Withered old crone, who told me that
slid was “Missus” McDougal, and in
quired what she could do for me.
“I’m told that you attend to the wash
ing of the dead.”
“Yes,” said she, “and I do it cheap.”
“What Is your charge?”
“One dollar, and I furnish all me own
tools—sponges and the like.”
“Well, I don’t happen to have any
remains just now,” said I, “but it’s
always well to be looking around. How
is business with you?”
“it’s very poor, sir. Times was when
I could make $lO a week as aisy as
you’re seltin’ in that chair; now, if I
catches .$3 a week ’l’m well satisfied.
You know I’m a keener, and keeners is
exti’y. 1 generally make $1 a week now
keenin’ ”
“What is ‘keenin’?”
“ ‘Keenin’—why, cryin’ for the dead,
you know. There’s some of us as was
keendrS in the ould country, and we
gathers around the corpse and starts
the keen, and then the others they jine
in.”
“Is the keen any differe.it from any
other cry?”
“ Different! I should say it was, sir.
Why, the keen goes right to the heart.
This is the right keen,” and she bent
over, and swaying her body from side
to side, began a most dolorous and de
spairing howl, which she accentuated
by clapping her hands, and which I can
compare only to a wild and grief-strick
en hysteric. Sometimes it dropped to a
low moan, then rose and rose until it
culminated in a shriek. It was the
queerest, saddest thing I ever heard in
my life. In parts it had turns of the
German jodel; again it ran up and
down like an operatic roulade. Really,
it was a work of art —savage art —but
certainly art. l’ut upon the stage, it
would draw with any specialty act I ever
saw. “We does that in the house,” she
said, “and out at the graveyard, and
generally 1 get a pound of tea and
sugar, or a dollar or two, if 1 gel it
worked up well. There’s no good keen
ers in this country at all. The best are
in the South of Ireland, specially in the
(lounty Kilkenny. To hear it right you
ought to have a dozen goin’ at once. I
tell you it comes out grand then. But
these people here can’t keen—they try
it, but they’re no good; they can’t tell
good keenin’ when they hear it.” Prom
ising certainly to employ the old lady on
the very first occasion that 1 wished any
keening done, I withdrew, convinced
that there are points which we could
give even to t lie old Egyptians in the art
of funeration.— St. Louis Spectator.
Cetewayo’s Flick.
The “click’’ which some writers have
noted as a curiosity in tlie speech of
Cetewayo and his suite is not peculiar
to the Zulu tongue. It is a character
istic of many barbarous languages,
though the clicking of the llffttentots
seeitis to be the most elaborate, or at all
events the best known. Mr. Gust, In a
paper published by the English Society
of Arts, says: “The great feature of the
(Hottentot) language is tlie existence
of four clicks, formed by a different po
sition of tlie tongue: the dental cli k is
almost ident cal with the sound of in
dignation not infrequently uttered by
Europeans: the lateral click is the
sound with, which horses are stimulated
to action; the guttural click is not un
like the popping of a champagne cork;
and the palatal click is compared to the
cracking of a whip. He adds that the
Bushman, in addition to the four clicks
o the Hottentot language, has a fifth,
sixth, and sometimes a seventh and an
eighth click. It is interesting to note
that philological authorities declare
that the Hottentot is entirely distinct
from other languages spoken by black
races, and is of kin to the Hamitic lan
guages of white races of North Africa.
Borins! ance, the Kabyles, or Berbers,
of Algeria click. Mr. Barclay (in his
“Mountain Life in Algeria’’) was, we
believe, the first to remark this elocu
tionary habit among them. He under
stood their “click’’ to express assent,
and when several Kabyles “assented to
gether, he says, it was “like so many
Distols beiiur cocked.” London Globe.
—Peach fritters, served with cream
and sugar, are an excellent substitute
for pastry at dmner. Make a batter as
for ordinary Tritters—of sweet milk,
flour, and baking powder—and if you
choose to add one egg to each pint of
milk it will improve the dish. Peel and
quarter as many pea hes as you wish to
put in—the more the better, as tlie
peaches shrink in cooking. Drop by
spoonfuls in hot lard, fry till brown, and
serve warm. —lndiana State Sentinel.
NUMBER 45.
PITH AND POINT.
—lt was rather a pretty idea when a
little girl, recovering from fever, said:
“I was not sick enough to go to heaven
this time.”
—Tourists are sometimes suggestive.
“Why, a donkey couldn’t climb that
hill,” said one of them; and then lie
added, “and I’m not going to try it.”
—A Georgia editor tells us a story
about a catfish twenty-three feet long
which died from swallowing a calf, the
horns proving indigestible. So does the
story. — Lowell Citizen.
—lt is all very well to say that a man
was hanged on a legal technicality, but
on thinking the matter over we must
confess that the rope really had some
thing to do with it.— N. Y. Herald.
—An clerly man in Boston is so polite
and loving that when he is dining with
a young lady of his heart he puts syrup
on his bald head to attract the flics and
prevent them from annoying her.—Bos
ton Herald.
—The Pittsburg man who killed a $25
dog to recover a $lO bill which he sup
posed the animal ate, didn’t feel so very
bad over it until he found the bill in his
vest pocket. Then ho went to pieces.—
Detroit Free Press.
—Over in New .Jersey it is proposed
to dispense with horses as motors for
street cars. It is thought thaf a pair of
well-trained mosquitoes with their wings
clipped would do equally as well, and
cost less to keep.— Philadelphia Chron
icle.
—A fashion item says the belle of the
period now wears at her waist belt a
little music-box, faintly playing a single
tune. The average American girl can
put on enough airs without attaching
a music-box to her waist.— Norristown
Herald.
—The toothpick boot is going out of
fashion, ’tis said. But the broad, easy,
swinging boot worn by vigorous men of
about fifty, with marriageable daugh
ters, will never go out of fashion, young
man, never. Keep out of its reach.—
New Haven Register.
—The oldest vessel afloat is a ship of
three hundred tons called the True
Love. She is over one hundred years
old, and is a merchant ship in active
duty, sailing under the English flag.
Her course mast have run tolerably
smooth.— Lowell Courier.
—Will the boy who knows of a place
where we can go and catch fish please
rise and answer tho question. Every
man that we have asked has told us
“ox T er there,” and we have been “over
there” a great many times and haven’t
caught anything yet. Subject for the
Concord school of philosophy: The
Non-llereness of the There.— Lowell
Citizen.
—“An American,” says an exchange,
“ may not be so elegant at a dinner
party, but he will not ride a half day in
a railway car without speaking to his
fellow passenger at his elbow, as the
Englishman will.” No, indeed lie will
not; ’fore George he will not. How of
ten, oh, how often, have we wished that
he would. But he won’t. He will pounce
upon a stranger whom He has never
seen before in all his life and talk him
deaf, dumb, and blind in fifty miles.
Catch an American holding his month
shut when he has a chance to talk to
some man who doesn’t want to be talked
to.— Burlington Hawkeye.
Bome Brief Remarks by Dan Pclter’s
Wife.
“Mr. relter.’’ said Dan’s wife,
“ won and ye like tu see me a lone wid
der. with a stone dead husband?”
'! li s i ,ea startled Dan and he looked
up lrom iiis whittling kind'ings with the
carving knife.
•• ( t course not. I’ve got a heart fur
ye as big as a barn an’ a3 open as er
saw-ruil!.”
•• An’ don’t ye pity er woman as iser
xxliole widder?”
“ Sartin.”
“ An’ don’t ye half pity er woman as
is a half widder?”
“Bartin sure.”
“An’ which du ye pity the wust, er
marriageable widder or one that can’t
marry nohow? ’
“the one that can marry is less to be
pitied ’cos she may git er better husband
’n she had afore.”
“'Then why don’t ye pity me?”
“ What!”
*• i married ye fur er man, an ye went
lookin’ an actin’ like er man at that
t ine. But now yer more’n half dead.
Ye hain’tspoke ter me pleasant ter-day.
’To e we was married ye’d gabble ter
me all the chance yon’d git. Ye hain’t
showed me no attention kinder perlite
like which pleases us women. Ye was
wonderful perlite when ye used ter come
a courtin’ me. Yer don’t show me no
deference in yer manners. Now def
ference showed to er woman when tliet
woman’s yer wife ain’t never lost, hut
alius pays big interest; it kinder sweet
ens life as molasses sweetens ginger
bread. How’d yo like -it if 1 was ter
leave all the sweetness out’en the cake
jes’ ’cos we’re married? Yer dead,
Dan. in ver sense of the pleasantness
yer could disseminate aroun’ ye. If
ye’d b * fur jes’ one week as perlite an’
attentive as ye was afore marriage I’d
feel better than if 1 was at a circus see
in’ Jumbo all of the time ” A man
nake the great mistake of his lifetime
when he drops his politeness in his own
family. Detroit Free Press.
■ When the conductor tore off the
coupon from the ticket of a lady passen
gu o i a Connecticut railroad the other
and tv she t hrow the remainder out of the
window, and subsequently explained
th it she had seen him tear the ticket
up and thought the piece was of no ac
count.