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TUESDAY, OCBER 20
OH, MTT ALWAYS MAKES IT FOR LIFE!
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t " A «£W4H. T**A | \ PL6.S6G V f **&*> *°OH- HOW UtUAL,
— J * ■ . iki,s
have a Laugh with Mclntyre and Heath as “The Hold-Up Men”
These Two Grea.t Comedians Are Going- to Be Seen Here in “The Ham Tree,’’
This Comedy Is Fully Protected for Al! Use by Mclntyre and Heath, Heme Published by
CHARACTERS,
ngerous Dan.
ibe Tenderfoot
;ENE —A mountain gorge on a threatening
eldy night.
he hold-up men, Dan and Rule, enter tloto
liu if very tired Rufe carrying a large spice
C,st and Dan carrying an old dour bag con
tning weapons and rope.
3 AN —Get a gait on you, Rule, we’re only
got twelve miles further to go.
RUFE —Twelve miles! Why, that’s six
niles- apiece.
DAN—Yes, that b all. Come on.
RUFE—I can’t do it, I’m feeling too pre
posterous.
DAN—Why. you’re not going to weaken
tow?
RUFE —Weaken now’ I’ve been weakenin’
for a week back! And my back is weak, too.
DAN—You’re weak-kneed, I think
RUFE—No, I’ve got curvableness of the
spine.
DAN —(Toil haven’t sufficient backbone, as It
were.
RUFE+ That’s It I think I’m going Into a
decline
DAN—Tea, yor are falling away from a bar
rel to a to: bead Are you very tired?
RUFE- l'ired! Say, the best thing the good
Lord evir tier c was to fix us so as we could
sit dour fails on rock.)
DAN lYou look kind of weather-beaten.
(Sits opfosite j
RUFE i ant weather-beaten. 1 bet a fellow
$5 it wculd rain yesterday, and it didn't.
DAN-Well, you ought to feel like a young
broncho after that tender chicken dinner you
put away yesterday 1 wonder if that was real
punkinpie they gave us there?
RUFE —Well. It was the punkest taste they
had. let’s take a snooze here.
DAN Snooze! Don't the doctors tel) you not
o sleep on a full stomach?
RUfE —Well, 1 can sleep on my back, can't
l!
DAN—Oh, nonsense!
RIFE—A full stomach, why, I'm hungry
enough to eat a peck of gondolas.
DAN- Eat gondolas? What do you Imagine
rondo-las are?
RITE Gondolas? Why, a gondola Is a kind
f vegetable -tastes somethin' like a squlnce.
DAN 1 h. ridiculous Come, ’tls time we
CONESSION BY “THIRD
DGREE” HELD ILLEGAL
Atlan, Ga. —A “third degree" con
fession oes not amount to anything
and is sgal, according to the ruling
of Jud Ben Hill of the superior
court, -ank Wright, a negro accus
ed of bglary, admitted that he had
confess* to the crime but that he
was inn»nt and had confessed pure
ly beca» Sergeant Bullard of the
UGH CALOMEL IS HORRIBLE! II
SUCKS YOUR LIVER, IE BILIOUS
Calomelickens! Don’t lose a day’s work! Clean your
br and Bowels with “Dodson’s Liver Tone.”
Ugli! Gael makes you rick. It’s
horrible! > a dose of the danger
ous drug ight and tomorrow you
may lose ay’s work.
Calomel nercury or quicksilver,
which camnecroris of the hones.
Calomel, w it comes Into contact
with sour brashes Into It, breaking
It up This >hen you feel that awful
nausea and nplng if :ou are slug
gish and knocked out," If your
liver Is toritnd bowels constipated
or you have iache, dizziness, coated
tongue, if Is bad or stomach
sour, just ti spoonful of harmless
Dodson's UTone tonight.
Here's mjiarsni.ee—Go to any
drug store igrt a 60 ce.nt hottlo
of Dodson'* I’ tons. Take a spoon
Permission.
were on our way, I long to be rick.
RUFE—WeII, yen don’t long any longer than
me.
DAN—Well, get a move on, then.
RUFE—No, I don’t believe ni continue; I
guess I’ll take root bore and grow up with
the country.
DAN —Why, you're npt going to quit now, Just
when fc ne is within our grasp. Why, Rufe,
1 can feel the money In my hands now,
RUFE —Well, my hands don’t feel nothin’ but
warts.
DAN—Do you remember when I first met
you? Didn't I say there was money In you?
RUFE—Yes; but you knew I swallowed a
dime that day. Anybody could tell there was
money In me If they knowed that
DAN—Well, there Is money In you yet
RUFE—Oh, no; 1 was broke when I started
off with you, but now I’m completely busted.
DaN—Well, I acknowledge that money is
close.
RUFE—Yes; bu: not close enough to reach.
Dan, what's In this bureau, anyway?
DAN —That? Why, that chest contains numer
ous samples of deadly poisons.
RUFE —Poison! And I’ve been cartin’ it
’round with me! That does sottle It—wo divide
right here.
DAN—-One moment! The scheme on which I
am about to enlighten yon will at once strike
you as being a brilliant achievement of the
mind.
RUFE —Well, I’vo had cheese on my mind for
several days. A sweltaer sandwich would hit
ms Just about right about now.
DAN —Listen! The United State* Govern
ment is offering fabulous sums to medical men
to make diligent research Into the doato deal
ing qualities of the different poisons. Carefnl
Investigation Is also under way to discover their
various antidotes.
RUFE—I discovered a hairy nannygoat this
morning, but I couldn’t catch him.
DAN —Oh, tut, tut
RUFE3 —No, butt, butt
DAN—Now I have made a life study of poi
sons, but I need a subject to show their effi
ciency to ths clinics, and that Is where you
come In. You see, what I desire of you Is
this: I will incarcerate you la a hospital and
feed you on poison.
RUFE —You will? Well, you won't I feed
on spare ribs and Ice cream, no poison In
mine.
police department had slapped him
during the examination.
Judge Hill charged the jury to dis
regard all testimony in the negro's
confession, saying it would have no
bearing on the case Wright was ac
quitted.
The court took occasion to express
his distrust of the brutal methods of
the “third degree’ and his lack of
faith in any statements made under
terror of threats.
ful and If it doesn't straighten you
right up and make you fed fine and
vigorous 1 want you to go beck to the
store and get your money. Dodson's
Diver Tone is destroying the sale of
calomel because it is real liver medl.
cine; entirely vegetable, therefore it
can not salivate or make you sick.
I guarantee that orm spoonful of
Hod son's Mver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and dean your
bowels of that sour bile and consti
pated waste which is c logging your
system and making you feel miserable.
I guarantee that a bottle of Dodson's
Mver Tone will keep your entire fam
ily feeling fine for months. Give It to
your children. It is harmless; doesn't
gripe and they like Its pleasant taste.
THE VICE SITUATION IN
ATLANTA BEING AIRED
Atlanta, Ga.—The vice situation In
Atlanta had another airing today
the grand Jury reconvened for Its fifth
day of investigation and called May
er Woodward and others before it.
Mayor Woodward expressed himself
as emphatically against a plan to give
the police department more money for
“stool pigeons" who would play spy
and hunt down offenders. The fore
man, W. Woods White, had suggested
that detectives be hired to spend sev
eral days In suspected houses and
thus gain evidence. The mayor said
such evidence would be thrown out of
court.
The mayor read a list of a hundred
or more boarding houses and other
places alleged to be disreputable. Sev
eral prominent hotels were named.
G. N. Henfroe, who nas offices In
the Gould building, testified 'that he
could look acroes the street Into the
windows of s hotel and see examples
of the evil of scattering immoral wo
men around the town.
PRESIDENT’S POWER OVER
THE STATE MILITIA.
Washington.—A motion for an early
hearing of the case of Lieutenant
Colonel Daniel C. Stearns against
Brigadier General George H. Wood,
both of the Ohio National Guard, In
volving the power of the president to
vc-nd the militia out of the territory
of the United States without first
mustering it in as a volunteer force,
was Monday submitted to the supreme
•oiirt.
The point was at issue In militia
circles a few months ago, when ths
guard was preparing for service in
Mexico.
fHE AUGUSTA HERALD, AUGUSTA, GA.
DAN—Bat a* harm wtU come to yes. I
watch you dally and when you show elans of
dying 1 come to your rescue with an antidote.
RUFE—When I’m dying you’ll ride to my
rescue an a nannygoat Not me, a goat le toe
slow. You'll have to rid* to my rescue in an
automospUL
DAN-—There Is heaps sf money In thle tor
you, and tt you should dlo accidentally I will
guarantee yon will have a splendid funeral.
RUFB—That’s good. I hope I'll tlva to see tt
DAN —And I’ll promise you a glorious wake
RUnC Well, that’ll help some. But if Tm
dead nobody will be able to wake me.
DAN—But you won’t die, and think of the
fortune In the poisons.
RUFB—OHes, and think of the poison In me.
Nay, nay. 111 fill my anna tummy with no
poison. Ham and beans tar mtne.
DAN —Then yon refuse!
Rirra—Most posittvltous. I recline your
golden offer.
DAN—Don’t yen cere for money?
RUFB —-No. I cere no more for money than
I do for my life.
DAN —Well, hold! I have still another proj
ect whereby we caa speedily become wealthy
men.
RUFE—Expostulate the subcumstances.
DAN- —Shi Not a soul but you most hear
this. We will turn bandits.
RUFE —Bandits? What’s them, hoboes?
DAN—No. Hold-up men, sale to hold up
anybody.
RUFE —I can hardly hoM myself up.
DAN—Sh! I have the victim marked.
RUFE —What did you mark him with, chalk?
DAN —You know the mall carrier. Grizzly
Bill?
RUFE —Welt you're not. going to hold up
him, are yon?
DAN —He’s our man
RUFE —You mean, we’re his meat) Good-by,
I’m going. Grizzly BIUI Oh; Oh! Why, had
sooner wring your neck than ring a bell.
DAN —You're not afraid, are you?
RUFE—Oh, no; but what’s the use of dying
so young?
DAN—Oh, you won’t die. Listen! To-night
at 11:30 Bill passes this spot and In his sad
dle bags he will carry a large amouat of
specie.
RUFE —What'e that, tobacco?
DAN—No, money. Fifty thousand dollars In
notes and gold coin have been Intrusted to
hie care. The exprees company heard the train
was going to be held up by Broncho Pete’s
gang, and so they are sending the money
overland by Grizzly Bill If we ancceed In get
“My oldeet son," said Mrs. Twlck
embury, “speaks several languages
quite flippantly.”—Chrlatlan Register
“Give Me Another Cup”
Just deliciously wholesome coffee with all
the goodness of the coffee bean retained. A
real, health-building drink—free from all
injurious substances. It’s real coffee—not a
substitute.
Jatt a "pinch " |n a cap—
add hot ivolar and seres.
SMITH BROS., Jobbers.
Cnvriffct. ieiA w sm mu Omr. »«•* anwai sight, am™*.
ting It Just think what your share would bo. “Tired!
Are you good at figures? <*
RUFE —Yes, I need to pick out chorus girls , “‘J 1
for comic operas. the DB«t
DAN —Then you are all right Now. your thing
half of *36.009 would bo *M9O. the
RUFE <countn on flnpert) That’s correal good
But how can we get all these samoMaas? Lord
DAN —Very simple. This spot Is where ever
Grizzly Bill stopz to rest When be arrives done
at this spot he and his horse will be almost W3S
exhausted. to fix
RUFE—That would be a ootngular atnri us so as
donee. ’Cause this Is where I gad exhausted. we COdld
What's the name of this place? §[f
DAN —This locality Is known as Dead Man’s down."
It’s tough, but a bride must ex
pect to lie neglected aome during her
husband's office hours.
Malaria or Chills & Fever
Prescription No. 666 it prepared 'especially
lor MALARIA or CHILLS a FEVER.
Five or six doses will break any case, and
if taken then as a tonic the Fever will not
return. It acta on the livar better than
Calomel and does not gripe or ticken. 2So
BE REASONABLE NOW LISTEN
CARII is the mighty FACTOR In TRADE)—We eel) for CASH and
HAVE TOC MONEY as quoted below:
4- bottle Hyr. White Pine Co., with Tar 200
614-ounce bottle syr. Tar. Cod Diver Oil Extract and Menthol 300
5- Aspirin (capsules nr tablets) 20c doa.
5-graln Quinine (capsules or tablets) 20c doa.
1-pound White Moth Balls 5^
GET OUR PRICES ON DRUGS AND PREBCRIPTIONB.
WE SAVE YOU MONEY. TRY US 18 ALL WE ABK.
Your, for GREATER AUGUSTA,
THE GREATER AUGUSTA PHARMACY
Wrong Bide of Street, 1281 Broad Btrsot —Right Side of Prices.
Augusta Trunk
735 Broad Street.
BY “BUD’' FISHER
Gulch.
RUFE—Dead Man’s Gulch? Brrrrl I’m go
ing home.
DAN—Why. you ere not a coward, are you*
RUFE —1 should say not.
DAN —You see, several hundred emigrants
were murdered around here, and they say that
their ghosts promenade here after midnight.
RUFE -Ghosts! Good-by, Liza Jane. I’m off
for sure now.
DAN (p ultimo pun) —Hold on! Toutl stay;
or HI send you to Join the ghost promenade
before your time.
RUFE—I knew 1 was due for mot* head luck,
I lost my rabbit's foot this morning.
DAN—You don’t know when yoa*xo well off.
Look at the freedom you enjoy. Yon have free
air, free water, free roads; freedom every
where. Everything free.
RUFE —All except free lunch. »•
DAN—Now the time Is drawing nigh for
Grizzly Bill’s approach. He is a daring fellow
and we must arm ourselves. Here are two
trusty weapons. ( Pull* out tong twordt.)
Take your choice. Are you a good fencer?
RUFE —Oh, yes. I’m a wonder at that
DAN—Well, now, how would you use your
sword In a duel, if, when you lunged, your
opponent feinted?
RUFE- I’d faint, too. What I mean. I’d
tickle him with the point to see If ha was
klddtn’.
DAN —Well now then, don’t let Grizzly BUI
get too dose quarters. HoM htm off with your
sturdy weapon; and while yam fence with him
and engage hie attention I’ll com* on kins un
awares and finish him up.
RUFE—WeII, where will yon be while I’m
fencing?
DAN —Oh, ?U be off In the woods somewhere
and pretend I’m not around.
RUFB—You'll be off to (he waste?
DAN—Yes.
RUFE— How for off? . jft}
DAN —Oh, twenty miles or so.
RUTO--Twenty miles I and ms here ndens
fencing with Grizzly BtUl
DAN—Sure! You must hold Mm at bay.
RUFE —Yes, and Til have my heads Ml
hrddln’ my own without holdln’ BflL
DAN—Well, if he’s doing you Jest braes off
and whistle for me.
RUFF—fhipposs I don't get a chance ff
whistle!
DAW—in that case you can declare a tram
and then while the truce Is pending, wMstlb.
RUFE—Declare a truce, HI declare tt all
off. Dan, you’d better not go, I can’t wMotlm
How many people do you
suppose will be willing to live
in an unwired home five years
from today?
Fair Week Prices
This week we offer specially
Low Prices on
TRUNKS, VALISES,
SUIT CASES, ETC
Gents’ Pocketbooks, Ladies’
Hand Bugs.
FIVE
Factory
Opposite Monument.