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TRENTON, GEORGIA. 1 It is stated that at least 1,000,000 tons •f commercial fertilizers are now annual ly used in this country, at a cost to buy ers of $30,000,000. One hundred and twenty-seven pen sion bills were passed by the United States Senate one day recently in ninety minutes. The statistics on tobacco show that Maine uses less of the weed than any other State in the Union. An awful result of serpent worhip in India is the statement that 22,000 lives are lost annually by the bites of venom ous reptiles and wild beasts. Nearly all of the United States Sena tors are large men, their average weight running close to 180 pounds. Their entire weight, according to a coire spondent, is nearly 14,000 pounds. At a single stroke the British Govern ment has converted its immense national debt of $73.1,000,000 into three per cent, bonds, with the privilege after fifteen years of reducing the interest to two and a half per cent. The late Dr. Agnew was wont to de clare that no man had lived to be 100 years old since Biblical days, and all such reports came from ignorance or mistakes. Out of twenty cases he investigated not one proved to be authentic. The United States import some 1(5,000,- 000 dozen eggs a year, for which we pay $2,500,000, and Mr. A. F. Hunter wants to know why we do not produce these eggs ourselves. He answers his own question, in the New England Farmer, by saying that we have hens enough, but they do not lay as they ought to. In the United States there is one ister to 700 people; in China, one or dained missionary to 1,000,000. Of the 200,000,000 of Africa, 140,000,000 have not been touched by Christaiu teachers. The United States has 80,000 preachers, while India, with five tinier the popula tion has 700 ordained missionaries. Miss Eliza Garner, of Charleston, S C., who announced that she would be i candidate for the office of County School ‘Commissioner, is the first lady in the L mth, so far as is known, to run for oh.ee. She is possessed of independent means, is a hard student, and has been prominent in church and school work. The only Senator who now habitually wears one of the little black skull caps tliat were so common among the Senators a few years ago is Senator Edmunds, whose head is so bald as to be very sensitive to the draughts about the cor ridors of the Senate Chamber. The custom of wearing the caps was started by General Burnside and was quite fashionable for a time. General Boulanger, the idol of the French populace, 13 now just fifty years old. He Is noted for his grace and gallantry, and more than any other Frenchman is the especial hero of the ladies. No one else can open a fan oi remove a lady’s cloak or mount a restless, horse in so graceful and charming a way, and the same qualities are said to charac terize all his military actions. Camden, N. J., comes to the front with a co-operative burial company that issues certificates all the way from S3O to SIOO that will enable their holders to be put away as plainly or as stylishly as they choose. As all supplies are to be manu factured by the company and furnished at wholesale rates, it may be reasonably hoped members will get the their money. An English physician, who has in 'the Characteristics and sur roundings of centenarians, says he found that the average qualities were a good fam lv history, a well made frame, of average stature, spare rather than stout, robust, with good health, appetite and digestion, capable of exertion, good sleepers, of placid temperament and good intelligence, with little need foi and little consumption of alcohol and animal food. Embalmed geese, turkeys xvith painted, legs, and diseased chickens, instead of healthy, untainted poultry, are sold in extensively in the Paris markets A market porter recently died from blood poison from the bite of an insect which was battening or. some turkeys. The practice of embalming long demised hi: ds is comparatively of modern origin, but the painting of turkeys legs is old. Pere Chappelleire made a fortune out of it. He found that fresh ki’led turkeys had black shiny legs, but later they would turn to a dusky brown color. He in vented a peculiar varnish, and his services were requisitioned in every market The effect of his varnish was so eonedusive that it deceived experienced cooks aud housekeepers, who often bought tainted food in preference to newly killed. A Georgia man with a statistical turn of mind figures out that a man who reg ularly takes ten ordinary drinks of whisky a day and keeps it up for twenty years will in that time consume at least thirty-six barrels of the liquor. Alpine guides are in demand in the Himalayas, in the Caucasus, and among the New Zealand Alps; and a British mountainer recently asserted that our Mount Saint Elias, in Alaska, would never be ascended without the aid of a few T professional Swiss climbers. The Queen of England gives a great deal of attention to public affairs. It is not generally known to what an ex tent she carries this attention. > Every night an abstract of the work of the Hou-e of Commons is sent to her by telegraph. This is done even when she is on the Continent, and it reached her from day to day during her visit in Florence. Every important aft ef the Cabinet is submitted to her. Outside of Alaska there are now 4f)o, - 000,000 acres ot forest standing in the United States, which is over eight acres for each man, woman and child. The area of forest lands is increasing in some of the New England States, and under the fostering care of tree-claim laws, and the interest of individual owners of land in the newer States, it is said that 100,- 000 square miles of almost treeless prairies have been reversed since their settlement. Senator Hawley, according to the Chicago Herald, is the fastest talker in the United States Senate. lie is the terror of the official stenographers, and each of them always attempts to shirk the responsibility of reporting his speeches. Senator Plumb is the nex most rapid talker, while Senator Reagan is the most difficult to report. Ilis utterances are verr indistinct, and he stammers and repeats continually. Even when he stands down in the front row of seats the reporters are driven almost crazy in their, efforts to take down his words. The relation of electricity to crime, which began xvith the inx T entiou of burg lar alarm devises, says the New Y r ork Sun, has been extended in the shape of an electrical detective camera, invented by two Newark men. Their idea is to have the device fixed in the walls of banking houses behind the tellers, and so arranged as to photograph whoever stands at the teller’s window, in case the man’s pict ure is wanted. The little button that does the work of opening the camera shutter, making the exposure, dropping the plate, and putting in a new plate, will be under the teller's desk, so that he can, without betraying himself, instantly take the picture of any one xvho excites his suspicion. Tills same can be put in police stations iii (he same way, and as the prisoners are brought in they can be photographed without knowing it and having a chance to distort their features, as they do when for the Rogues’ Gallery. A New York scientist thinks that the coming weapon of civilized xvarfare will not be the explosive bullet, but a chem ical one, something after the charactei of the suggestion of AYestiou, the elec trician. He suggests the use of nitrate of amyl, which possesses the power of causing insensibility very quickly to a human being breathing its fumes. An exchange says on the subject: “It is cheap and plentiful, and could be used instead of gunpowder. A few gallons of this nitrate dashed on the deck of a wai ship would soon render her crew help less. • The most poxverful iron-clads would be even more vulnerable than the light cruisers, for they would be sucking down great draughts of air through their artificial ventilators, and the odor would thus rapidly permeate the whole ship. The whole crew being rendered helpless for an hour or two, the ship could, oi course, be towed into a sate spot, while the captors xmntilated her and removed the insensible men.” An active telegrapher furnishes the New York Graphic with a table of national telegraph systems under Govern ment control. It is as follows: Countries owning Miles of Miles oj system. lines. wire. Austrian Empire 30,084 102,610 Belgium 3,801 17,71:. Bulgaria 1,520 China 8,080 5,482 Denmark 2,384 6,739 Egypt 2,701 5,221 Fiance 61,286 220,870 Germany 51,637 181,380 Greece 0,720 4,570 Great Britain an 1 Ireland... 0'»,:270 170,195 India 25,387 74,973 Italy 18,763 Japan 5,000 13,481 Mexico 12,000 40,000 Montenegro. 280 Netherlands.. 2,938 16,780 New South Wales 10,351 19,804 New Zealand 4.46! 10,931 Queensland 7,533 1:2,OIK) Roumania 3,250 0,800 Siam 1,009 Sweden and Norway 9,605 23.002 Victoria 3,940 9,G17 Total 312,907 935,518 Mileage of the world 743,090 Mileage of the United States.23l,sßß Total mileage owned by Gov ernments 4:10,029 \ ariety is just as cheap as monotony. A SONG OF MAYTIME. As fades the night with morning light, So winter creeps away; And in his place with sunny face Tnere shines the sun of May. From over all the cloudy pall Of chill and darkness drear Is quick removed, and spring is proved— Her warmth and light are here, From out the South with perfumed mouth The summer whispers, “Hero!” And sweet and low the breezes blow As soft she treadetfa near. Day after day the sky’s gay With tender tints of blue; On airy wings the robin sings, And wood-birds call and coo. Within our hearts, too, life imparts A gentle throb and thrill, And bitter strife no longer rife, Peace, Love, our bosoms till! —Dt mo’-t s:. WOMEN OF OR IT, We were well into the Gulf of Bengal, bound lor Madras, when one Morning, just as night was fading into dawn, 1 thought 1 heard a voice hailing us from the surface of the sea. There are sea birds who cry out almost like human be ings, and although I was startled by the had, I dismissed it after a lew seconds as the cry of a bird. Scarcely had. 1 done so when it came again, and this time 1 knew it was the voice of a woman. The; e was no need to kail the mate or watch, for he had heard the cry as well. We were jogging along •under easy sail, and he seized the glass and ran up the ; forengging. There was a sort of steam , rising lrorn the water, but the mate had not climbed thirty feet when down he came again, and in one breath ordered the ship into the wind, the j Captain aroused and a boat lowered. We ! of the watch had no doubt, that the ship 1 had been hailed by castaways, but die boat was down before any of us had made out a lone woman in a sort of a canoe craft about two cables’ length away on our port how. Bhe had neither puddle nor oar, and her craft was driving with the wind and sea, while she sat cowering in the s:ern. Our boat was soon alongside sf her craft, and woman and craft were soon aboard the Admiral Nelson. The watch below had been turned up, and everybody was on deck to see what was going ou. The woman was white, and, we soon ascertained, American. I say white, but brown would be the better term, for it was evident she had long been expo-ed to tropical weather. She was of medium size, regular features and about 40 years of age, and at onetime had been good looking. “Who is the Captain?” she snapped, as she touched the deck. Here, ma’am,” replied our old man, as he stepped forward. “I want to talk to you in your cabin,” she continued, her fingers working nerv-, ously and her eyes snapping fire. They had not been gone a quarter of an hour when both reappeared on deck. I was at the wheel, and therefore heard all that was said. It appeared that the woman, whoso name was Mrs. Thomas, owned and sailed a trading schooner, which had been left her at her husband s death. It was a strange vocatj.oQ.for a woman, but it seemed she like it and, also had a good business head on her. She had a crew of six, her mate being an Englishman and the others Lascars,"find she had been sailing between nearly all the towns on the Gulf. Three days be fore we picked her up, her schooner had left Sumatra, bound for the Indian coast. The crew seemed to be pertectly quiet and .t at 10 o’clock of the previous nigM headed by the mate, had suddenly hands on her and sent her adrift without w r ater, food, or a paddle. The intention was to run away with the schooner and cargo and sell them, and this plan might have been carried out but for her rescue. She was the spunkiest little woman I ever saw. She was so mad she cou>dn’t stand still for three seconds at a time. What she wanted was for our ship to go j in pursuit. Her schooner was armed with two brass six-pounders, while we had four twelves, and she expressed her entire willingness to see her craft sent to the bottom before the mutinous crew should benefit by their acts. Captain Wheeler was pretty wed along in years, very careful on the question of insur ance, and his mind was not made up un til after breakfast. Then he decided to luff up toward the Andaman Islands in search of the schooner, and he almost promised to give her a taste of our metal if she was sighted and would not sur render. The little woman managed to eat a dozen mouthfuls of breakfast, and then returned to the deck to almost assume control. She ordered a man aiott, bossed the job of casting loose the giiis and getting up powder and shot, asd every ten minutes she was hailing tne lookout to know if anything was in sight. Luck was in her favor. White we had been jogging along ail night, the schooner, being further to the east, had been almost becalmed AVe raised her almost dead ahead about noon, and as luck would have it, again we had plenty of wind while she had none until the ves sels were not over two miles apart. The schooner could have no suspicion that the woman was aboard of us, and we iiew a signal that we wanted to speak her. She at once lay to, and, as we ran down to her, I saw Airs. Thomas grit her teeth, clench her hands and show others evidences of her feelings. She had borrowed the mate's six-shooter, donned a hat and coat to disguise her self. and as we lay to about a cable’s length away no eye could have made out her sex'. “Schooner ahoy!” called our captain. “Aye, aye, sir! This is the Nanev Lee, bound from Sumatra to the main land.” “Are you the Captain?” “No, sir. lie’s very sick in his berth.” “Run out those guns!” whispered the old man to us, and down went the big barkers, and such of the crew as were not at the guns rested their muskets along the rail. “I’ve got your Captain here and she'll be put aboard of you!” shouted our Cap tain. “If you attempt any resistance, I’ll sink you!” The Englishman ordered his crew to one of the gun but they refused to obey, every man of them skulking forward and disappearing down the hatch. The fel low left the deck long enough to arm himself with a [cutlass, and as we low ered a.boat he called out that he would split the head of the first man who at tempted to board the schooner. Our first mate, the boatswain, and two of us fore mast hands went in the boat with Mrs. Thomas, and as we hooked on to the schooner’s chains the boatswain pulled a revolver and climbed in over the bows. The mutineer retreated aft, and then we all boarded. The woman had not spoken a word sirr e leaving the ship. She was pale as death, and her eyes glared like a tiger’s. As she dropped from the rail to the deck she cocked the weapon in her hand, walked aft and right tip to the mate, and as he flourished his cutlass and commanded her to keep off, she shot him dead in his tracks. “U’s the law of the sea,” she quietly remarked, as she turned to us. “Aow to rout out those Lascars!” “But you won’t kill them!” said our mate. “No. not quite!” was her grim answer, as she handed him the smoking revol ver. Casting a look at the dead mutineer, to be sure that he was dead, she went forward, took a belaying pin out of the port rail and, approaching the hatch, she called down; “On deck here, every man of you, and be quick about it!” They came up one after the other, and as each man touched the deck she gave him a crack over the head which made him see stars. They went down on their knees and begged for their lives, and after knocking them about in a liberal way she finally agreed to extend pardon. Under her direction the mate’s body was searched, and, as she had anticipated, all the money aboard the schooner was found. She then ordered the body I’ung overboard, and as it touched the water one of the biggest white sharks I ever saw sei e.t it an I bit it in half. While the Lascars were cleaning the deck the little woman ran down into her cabin and brought up a do en bottles of wine, six boxes of cigars and a lot of dried fruits for us to take back to the ship. Then she gave each of us a shake of the hand, and as we entered the yawl she sprang upon the port rail, held fast to the main shrouds with cue hand, and shouted to our Cap ain: “Good-by and God bless you, Capt. Wheeler I've got my craft back, thanks to you, and 1 11 keep my eyes open after this!” Then she jumped clown and went to the wheel and gave orders to get the schooner on her course, and in a couple of hours the craft was lost sight of be hind one of the islands as it made for the inside of the route. Two years later I saw the woman at Singapore, and she still owned the schooner, and was said to have a comfortable fortune in bank. A year later I heard that she had' sold her schooner, purchased a brig, and putting in a cargo on her own account, had sailed for home. A WOMAN REPULSES PIRATES. In the fall of 1857, having been paid off at C ape Town from an English brig which had been condemned, 1 shipped aboard the bark Rescue, Captain Moore, bound to several ports in Madagascar and return. We had a small but excellent crew, every Znan but the cook being xvhite, and all being English, American, or Swede. The day before we sailed the Captain’s wife came aboard, and I saw at once that she xvas a sailor. She xvas about thirty-five years old, weighed not an ounce over a hundred pounds, and her movements were those of a girl. She was just such a little woman as you might expect to hear scream out at sight of a mouse and to see faint away if the saw a rat. As a rule, sailors are opposed to women folks at sea. They are all right as passengers, but when a Captain has his xvife along there is more or less growling in the fo'ca3tle. It is taken for granted that the “old man” will be less on deck and leave more to the mates, and instead or “cracking on” and carry ing all sail to make a.short x'oyage, he will go slow and look out for squalls. We groxvled about the woman coming aboard, but, at the same time, every old tar vowed her an angel and hoped good luck for her. We crept along the coast as far as Port Elizabeth, and then took a departure for the big island to the northeast, a matter of 700 miles, before we could sight its southern end. We had light, steady winds and fair weather, making easy work for the crew, hut on the third day out the Captain was taken down with fever. We hadn't seen much of his wife up to that time, but now she was every xvhere in an hour. Although we had a first mate xvho xvas thoroughly compe tent, the little woman took full charge of the ship. And we soon discovered that she was entirely competent to do so. She could stand by the log, prick off the day’s run, figure drift and dead reckon ing, and order sail set or reduced as smartly as any man I ever saw, and the mates bad sense enough not to sulk over it. Her husband owned a three-quarter interest in the bark and her venture, and it was only natural that the xvi£g should know it. She xvas doctor, nurse, Captain and counselor all in one, and things could rot have gone better had the old man been on deck. All went xveil until we were within sixty or seventy miles of the south end of Madagascar, when the breeze died away in the forenoon until we scarcely bad steerageway, and almost at the same time we sighted a felucca on our star board l ow and about tea miles away. In those days there were-p.enty of native sea rovers hidden away in the bays and rivers at the lower end of Madagascar, and they had no hesitation in plunder ing, scuttling, and throat-cutting. We had no sooner made out the strange craft than the little woman called us ail | aft and said: “Men, you know that the Capta'nis very ill. Yonder native craft is a pirate, ! and is coming down to attack us. If xve j surrender, not one of us will live an hour. | If we do our best, we may beat her off and escape. There may be sixty of them: there are only thirteen of us. Will you fight or surrender 2” “Fight! Fight! Hip I Hurrah!” shouted the crew in chorus, and, after thanking us, the woman gave oreers to prepare fo t the attack. The sky xvas cloudless acd the breeze stiff dying away, and it was certain that no change in the weather could be looked for. AVe had two cannon, nine-pound ers, one on either broadside, and these were uncovered and loaded with solid shot. Luckily, among the cargo was a consignment of muskets, and xve broke out two boxes of fifty each. They were cheap affairs, calculated for traffic, but all were sure fire for a few rounds. I was one of the gang told off to load them, and I know we loaded the even hundred. This would give us a matter of seven shots apiece without reloading. One-half the muskets were carried aft to the quarters, and the others distributed along the bow and waist. Four cut' lasses were bunted up and served out, and then there was time for one more precaution. The felucca was coming down slowly, urged by her sweeps, and a man aloft with a glass reported that she was full of men and had two six pounders on her decks. The head of the bark pointed pretty stca iily to the northwest, for there was neither wind nor sea. The felucca was coming down from the northeast, and we could there fore figure that she would board us on the starboard bow. Orders were given to search for and bring on deck bottles of every kind and shape. I think we routed out fifty or more in the fo’castle, while the cabin furnished a hundred. These were broken in pieces on the forward deck, and a tine mess they made of it. We could walk over the stuff with our leather soles, but woe to the bare feet which leaped off the rail. The Felucca people did not sus pect our caunou until they got a shot irom the starboard gun which made the splinters fiy. T hen they changed their course and pulled for our bows, and we could not train a gun to bear upon them. I helped reload our gun with a solid shot, and we had scarcely finished when the Felucca was upon us. She grappled us just where we had figured, and, under the little woman's orders, we made no effort to prevent. She had foreseen that if driven back the Felucca could take position on our bow or stern and pound us to pieces with her six-poanders, while xve xvould not be able to return a shot. We were drawn up in line across the deck abaft the foremast, with the spare muskets lying behind us. The captain’s xvife was at my left, armed xvith his re volver. Alind you, there xvasn’t a shout or shot as the fellows boarded us. They pulled down to us in a grim, determined way, never a man opening his lips, and as the grapnels caught they came swarm ing over the bows like a stream of giant ants, each man armed with creese alone. There wasn’t a yell until they struck the deck, and then there xvere a "hundred in chorus. Every man xvas barefooted, and every one xvas horribly cut. AVe opened fire at the same moment, and doxvn went the first gang. The second was wiped out almost as quickly 7, and then we rushed forward and each man xvent in on his oxvn hook. It was a picnic for us. A few musket shots were fired at us from away aft, but the bullets flew among the rigging. We rested our guns on the rad and fired right down among them, and in ten minutes from the beginning of the fight all the pirates alive sought shelter below. AVe had fourteen dead on our decks, and there were twice that number in sight of the felucca, while not one of us had a scratch. Leaving three men to fire away at any head appearing above the hatches, xve cast off the grapplings and pulled the felucca along our starboard side until the cannon would bear. Then xve fired a shot through her deck and bottom, re loaded and gave lier another, and then cast her adrift. She rubbed around our stern, drifted off about a hundred feet, and in a quarter of an hour xvent to the bottom. Perhaps a dozen living men came to the surface and swam to the bark, but not one of them xvas allowed to board. You may think it a blood-thirsty act, sir, but xve wiped them out to the last man xvithout any twinges of con science, and I’ve always been glad of it. Had they captured us, our throats would have been cut in no time. AVe lay all that day xvithout moving half a mile, but snnset brought a breeze, and xve finished our voyage without further adventure. The excitement of the fight made the Captain, much xvorse, but he recovered in a few weeks, and xvas able to take command again.— A’aw York Sun. Valuable Coins and Coin Collectors Said a noted coin collector recently, in conversation xvith a New York SuW re porter: “Do you know that, strange (Is ic may seem, the oldest coins are not the rarest, and are the least in demand by numisinaticians The reporter was not aware of the fact, and inquired why such xvas the case. “The vagaries and caprices of the col lector cannot be explained,” replied the connoisseur. “Why a man should prefer the scarce American dollar of 1804 at SIOO (which is the market value of a good specimen), to the beautiful J3gina coin, the oldest and most artistic pro duct of the Greek mint, a fine copy of which may be had lor SB, is as difficult a question to answer as why the handsome and talented Alontague Brown married the unprepossessing Miss Dobbs. “There is always a lively demand for the scarcest coins.” continued the col lector, “and it seldom concerns the en thusiast whether they are beautiful or not. It is well nigh impossible to begin now and make a complete collection of our American coins. To doit one would have to possess, beside a knoxvledge of American numismatics, the patience of Job and a purse as long as a Vanderbilt. The colonial coins alone are worth a small fortune. Fabulous prices are paid for good specimens of early American coinage. The l ine Tree shilling is worth from $lO to S2O, and in later times there is the Washington half dollar, valued to day at S3O. The dollar of 1704 has brought as much as SIOO at an auction sale. The half cent of 1700 is difficult to get at sls, while the half dollar of the same date readily sells at S3O. The rarest, however, of all the small pieces, is the half dime of 1802, which recently sold for $00.” “AYhere do all the old coins go to?” queried the reporter. “To the same place that pins and but tons do, wherever that may be,” replied the collector. “Of cour.-e, all unique copies and the finest specimens sooner or later find their xvay into public oi private collections, or the hands of the dealers. The largest and finest collec tions are owned by Dr. Charles E. AVest, Alexander Balmano, R. 11. Laxvrence, Robert Hobart Smith, and Gaston L. Feuardent, of New York. The. finest collection in the world is that of the British Aluseum in London. Last year 41,852 cars were turned out at car shops. Thirty thousand more are needed, and the car works have orders for months to come. A SONG. There is ever a song somewhere, my dear I] There is ever a something sings Mv x v: ■ There’s the song of (he lark when the sM arc clear, And the song o£ the thrush when the sIJH are gray. * The sunshine showc-s a the graM •% ip And the bluebird trills in the orchard trljß And in anil out, when the oaves drip The swallows are twittering coast .'ossly.f There is ever a song somewhere, my t«.«fc y In the midnight black or the mhVLty mue Ihe robin pipes when the sun is here. aM And the cricket chirrups the who ifYii h through. The buds may blow and the fruit may grl * And the autumn leaves drop cri-p : i sere; But whether the sun, or the rain, or h snow, ihere is ever a song somewhere, ray di u —James Whitcomb liifet HUMOR OF THE DAY. W[. Always comes out on top—hair j j No thorough-fare—An oatmeal diAner A copper trust—getting credit for t cent. Aloncy is an enigma that mud give up. A chess tournament is always jfarijjl on the square. Pq| The canned article that goes the quick est is a dog’s tail. | A dentist will file your teeth but ■ for ready reference. j AVlien a mars claims the earth it is tl to unearth his claim. \ Something that should be looked iE —a pretty girl's eyes. 1 It is unfortunate that a little mol doesn’t go a long way. » If thirty-txvo is the free-ing-pol* what is the squeeziug-poiut? Two 1 the shade. A good many women who have rna ried dry goods clerks have got two yarl of illusion as a premium. He “Do you believe in high licensi Fannie?” She—“AVhat kind of licensa Marriage license?” lie changed tM subject. ,J “AVho is that man?” “He’s the so vant of old Smith, the undertaken “Ah ? then he’s the valet of the .-hadoj of death.” —Town Topics. A Pittsburg man calls his xvife by t beautiful title “ Airtue, ” because she her own reward. She does all the hou w T ork and gets no wages. Graphic. I “One swallow does not make a alg mer,” but it may have occurred to y< that one grasshopper makes more thtffl dozen springs.--A <rridoum H< li.ii- -prill< 1 ctt.-i- th in t 1..- 8,-Hil Bourn ni! to Brown, Because in fall the stove's put In spring it’s taken down. —Boston B Mr. Agile to Air. Stoutman, wfl 1 running after a horse-car—-“AVI*. ■ boy, I thought you xvere too lazy tA i Mr. S. “Easily explained; lazinel -A in our family.” V nl A warrant was recently issued a North Carolina town for the arres* I mm for committing an assault “\J, I deadly weapon, to wit, a certain \m I ind large bull dog.” j I The AVest Chester JYetcs suggest* Ij 1 man can hardly trust a signal si 1 report that predicts calm weather V I he has to hold his hat on with I I hands while he reads it. * I l’he candidate's boomiet noxv bung* I boometli, \ I And bashfully buzz- til the 1 r-ggarly beß I In the bulge of his bonnet it busily humiA| A song like the sob of the sad sounding ij —Chicago Tribunal A Congressman, on receiving liis 11 from the cloak-r-oom, asked the wall how lie knew it was his hat, andJl promply answered: “I didn’t knof I was your hat; I only knows it wua I hat you gub to me.” M I Daughter— “Mamma, wou’dn’tj#.;l just lovely if xve only had neck 1! I giraffe.” Mamma—“Why, my |l What advantage xvould it be toll Daughter—“We could taste ou# I cream so much longer.”— Tid-Bitit Mamie—“Mamma, can’t I go I -fl Kitty’s house and play awhile?” M 9 (hesitatingly)—“l don’t know, dea fl —yes, you can go for just a little xvll Mamie (demurely)—“Thank you, afl ma, I’ve been.” — Drake's J/aqucine.lK Which I rise to remark, H And my language is plain, B| That for ways that are dark H And for tricks that are vain, 1H This eliniute of ours is peculiarßß —Lincoln (Neb.) Joiuwß Tramp (piteously)--“Please hpß poor old cripple.” Ixiud OhlAfl (handing him some money)- —“BlUfl why, of course. How are you ctipi I my poor fellow :” Tramp (pocke#Dg I money) — “Financially cripp!ed||ff ■ The Sun. B 1 A on have a very sour look this nul ing, ” remarked a cucumber neighbor,a dyspeptic strawberry. L mjm was the tart reply; “one is neccsVI 1 '! unpleasantly affected when associate with such a seedy party asjl are.” “Caulifloxver by any other >1 ’twill smell as sweet,” shouted an oil near by, xvith a peel of laughter.—al York Sun. ||| - I Use No Sugar On Oatmeal. |l “Be careful how you eat oatmfß said a doctor recently to a reporteiil the Nexv Aork .1 hi Hand i-Dpress. ''ll meal is a very heatliful food if till properly. No food is healthy if II properly used.” |l “lloxv should it be eaten?” if “If oatmeal is eaten in excess ofM needs of the body for proper nutritila overloads and taxes the system. It |N not be eaten partially cooked. FBI corn meal, rice and other approved!™ clcs of wholesome diet are not heaitßl half cooked. If an excess of sugaKl other sweets is used it will disagree jn many people, causing iudigestioirJß eaten with an excess of cream it wjfß be healthy for some pcr.-onVjf B stomachs are too delicate to s:anßff**B food. Oatmeal is a healthy food B not used for over-feeding, ficiently cooked and when nottH ‘ I an excess of cream or sweets. Br ■ should be eaten without any swe«l using a little milk or cream, a little b* ter, and seasoned with salt as tl Scotch do. ” I