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TRENTON, GEORGIA. ~ The United States wa9 the first country to introduce the system of numbering it* people every ten years. In India the finest grades of cigars can be bought for half a cent apiece, and cigars are considered rather an expensive luxury at that. The total receipts of the American Home Missionary Society from 1802 to 1887 were $11,586,891, and the total re ceipts of the 24 societies were $100,019,- 808. The decorations of the late Emperor "William, which have been handed over to Emperor Frederick, filled a large case with ten drawers and thirty-two separate boxes. The largest amount of money any man ever made by his pen in one year, face tiously remarks the New York Graphic , can be put down to an Illinoisan named Caruthers. He cleared over $150,000. His pen had a million pigs in it. It is proposed to raise SIOO,OOO for an American church building in Berlin. A number of SIOOO subscriptions have al ready been secured, and pews are to be offered to Ameiican colleges and other institutions at SIOOO each for the free use of their graduates. The Russian Nihilists lately arranged to release the author, TschernischefTsky, who has been in prison in Astrachan for thirty-six years on account of writing two novels displeasing to the censor. His mental and physical condition was such that flight was impossible. During last winter some two dozen shipwrecked crews were r soiled from death by the officers and men of the life saving stations on the Cape Cod coast. Not a single man of all these crews has perished. Nearly half a million dollars" worth of property has also been saved. The most youthful bank president in this country, if not in the world, is J. M. Bailey, Jr., who has recently been made President of the Minnehaha Na tional Bank, at Sioux Falls, Dakota, lie is an Illinois boy,barely out of his teens, and has already shown capability as a financier. It was fortunate in the case of triplets born lately in Pekin, China, that they were girls. Had they been all boys, under the laws of the Empire they would have been beheaded, as there is a tradi tion that one of three such children will invade and attempt to overthrow the Government. No Harvard medical student, asserts the Detroit Free Press , is declared “up” in his perfesh until he can cut off a leg without drawing a drop of blood. The man who owns the leg must also wake up as from a sweet slumber, and so far forget himself as to try and scratch the missing member. News comes from Berlin that sixteen young men of the university, some of them Americans, some English and some Scotch, have formed themselves into an international total abstinence society. An American, J. Warren Forbes, of New Mexico, is president. Professor Bunge’s pamphlet, “Die Alkohol Frage,” is their hand-book of temperance doctrine. The United States Signal Bureau is kmaking an effort to render the services Wof carrier pigeon* available in perfecting r weather predictions. It has been known for a long time that the Service would be much aided if it could receive daily weather reports from Cuba and the Bahama Islands. Pigeon-cotes have therefore been established at Key West, Fla., under the direction of Lieutenant Thompson. C Inventors disposing of continental patent rights may now ask for a few thousand extra on account of Switzer land, the Electrical Review informs it* readers, for the national council of that country has at length passed a bill pro viding for patents for inventions. Most of our readers will be aware that there have hitherto been no patent laws in Switzerland. “Few people have any idea of the amount of money taken in by the t uto matic weighing machines which one sees in the corridors of the hotels and other public places,” says the Philadelphia Times. “They are opened every week, and the coin is found in a canvass bag attached to the machine. The act of unscrewing this bag to take it out has the effect of automatically closing it, 60 that no one but the proper person can get at any of the contents. It is said that these machines generally average a profit of from S2O to $23 a month in this city, and the machine at the Broad Street Station has been known to pay as high as SIOO for the same time. The company owning the machines pay a certain per centage for the privilege of placing them in prominent places, 1 TW King of Spain will celebrate his second birthday by a grand fete at the Madrid Hippodrome. All the school children will be present. Each child on entering will be presented with a gold medal with a picture of the baby Alphonse. There will be 12,000 cakes, 12,000 rolls, 12,000 cups of chocolate, and 15,000 pounds of bonbons. The Scandinavian population grows at Its root in Castle Garden in New York, and in all its branches over the land. The total number is now about 2,600,000, of whom one-half were born across the sea. They are divided in about these proportions: Swedes, 1,000,000: Nor wegians, 750,000; Danes, 245,000; Ice landers, 5000. So rapidly have they increased in Minnesota that they now number about one-half of the population of that State. Chicago is the fifth Scandinavian city in the world, and Minneapolis the sixth. The National Academy of Sciences, which held its annual meeting in "Wash ington, is the most learned of all Ameri can scientific societies. Incorporated by the Government of the United States, its expenses are paid out of the national treasury, although its members serve without compensation. Made by law the official scientific adviser of the Gov ernment, it is required, at Government expense, to enter upon any scientific in vestigation which may be asked for by the head of either of the departments, and its conclusions are accepted as those of a competent and disinterested tri bunal. There are just 401 members of the House and of the Senate, and to wait upon them and run errands and hold open the doors as they pass in and out, and carry the cards of their callers and take care of the thousands of bills they put in, they have employed about 400 people, who are paid the snug little sum of $684- 000 for doing so. Fact. Every member has one employe, and for the service of the same there is paid an average of about SIBOO each. The snug little sum of $380,000 is required to pay the salaries of the Senators, and for the compensa tion of the members of the House sl,- 695,000 are to be provided, and this brings the salaries of our national law makers to a total of over $2,000,000 per year. There are vast areas of government land held by alien landholders in the United States. The largest tract, 4,500,- 000 acres, is held by the Holland Com pany of New Mexico. An English syn dicate holds 3,000,000 acres in Texas. Sir Edward Reid and a syndicate in Florida own 2,000,000 acres, 1,800,- 000 acres belong to an English syndi cate in Mississippi, 1,750,000 to the Marquis of Tweeddale, 1,300,000 to to the Philips-Marshal Company, of Lon don, and 1,000,00) acres to a German syndicate. These comprise the landholders. There are, however, a score or more of persons and syndicates owning less than 750,000 acres. The grand total foots up to 20,747,000 acos of government lands held by aliens in the United States. The electricians are greatly annoyed at the habit persons are forming of get ting killed by touching electric wires. They are also angry with the newspapers for saving that these fatalities tend to show that electric wires are dangerous. The Electrical World says that electric lights have been in use ten years, that they number 200,000 in this country alone, and yet le-s than fifty persons have been killed by them, while every year sees in America scores of deaths from ga* alone. The same paper says that the arc light is dangerous, but so is a steam engine, an elevator, or a buzz saw, and that all these things simply call for proper precautions. “As to all the talk about burying the wires, it has nothing to do with the case. It never will prevent such occurrences any more than the fact that the gas mains are under the streets prevents some persons from blowing out the gas.” The following interesting particulars with regard to the manufacture of quinine are taken from the London Lan cet: “There are, it is* believed, about eighteen factories of cinchona quinine in different parts of the world, in addition to the government factories and planta tions in India, where the mixed ‘ bark alkaloids ’ are prepared to some extent for local use. Altogether the yearly out put of quinine may be reckoned at about 4,500,000 ounces. The factories com prise one establishment in Holland, two in England, two in Italy, three in France, four in the United States and six in Germany. In addition to these are some experimental works in Russia, and these appear to have proved so great a success that the Russian Government is now making preparations for greatly extend ing the cultivation of cinchona in the vicinity of Tiflis, in tne Caucasus. Oper ations are to be conducted on an immense •cale.” Dot’s D ish. “ She never gets a scolding, She’s never sent to bed, She hasn't got a nopkm Put on her when she's fed: She plays with me, yet no one Tells her, * Don't maw? a noise;’ I sometimes wish my dolly Was me and I was toys." —Newark Journal. SIGNS OFTHE SEASON. 1 broke a spray of willo w by the brook, When out a jet of sprightly talk it shook: ‘"Ho! ho! * I'll kiss with blossoms silver-sleek That sun-and-wind-browned cheek!” I found an oakling and plucked off his cap, When up ne sprung from his o’d nurse's lap: “Goo 1-morrow and good-aiorrow, friend, to you: I’m for the sky—adieu!” I jieered into so many smiling eyes; They met my ovm with g anees blithe and wise: “Y'ou need not look o’erhead—we violets show A little heaven below!” I stood beside a shallow meadow pool, 1 watched the fairy-shrimps—a twinkling school: ‘‘"We children of the snn and moistened clod Comeat spring’s beck and nod!” I saw a musk-rat high floods could not drown. Now smoothly swimming through the water brown: ‘l'll build me summer galleries cool and dank Beneath the grassy bank!” I turn d the turf, when out an earthworm rolled Uplifting some loose grains of mellowing mold: “I must make haste to stir and break the soil, To help good farmers’ toil ! n I saw a spider stretch her gossamer ropes; She told me of her secret plans and hopes: ‘‘l catch the midge, an 1 tangle in my clues Sunbeams and rainbow hues!” I heard a honey-bee that, hovering low Above the grass, sang songs of long ago: “New year, new flowers, new sweets, new joys—and yet The old I’ll not forget!” I started wide awake, and looked about; I heard a flicker from his watch-tower shout— And “quick-quick, quick-quick, quick-quick, quick-quick—quick!” His rousing notes fell thick! —Edith M. Thomas, i Wide Awake. ON THE TRAIN, A STORY OF THE GREAT BLIZZARD. “It’s no use, ladies and gentlemen, we can go no farther. We have done the best we know’,” said the conductor in tones that he meant to be ordinary and commonplace, but which had an ill-coa cealed ring of apprehension in them, de spite his effort, “You can make your selves as comfortable as you can, and in two or three hours an engine will be started from the other end of the road to help us out,” he continued,aud passed on to the engine. This was provoking. There was a whole train load of people, fully ten miles from Flemington, on a little branch road in New Jersey, stopped by the snow. At the conductor's announcement, some of the men arose from tneir sea’s, and leisurely walked out after the conductor, with a look of intense disgust on their faces. The lady passengers shivered as they looked out of the windows at the swiftly flying snow, and declared it was too bad. Each expressed his individual opinion to his neighbor, and seamed tf> ease his mind in so doing, some com) plainingly, some laughingly, the great majority good humoredly, aud tr/mg t# make themselves as comfortable as pos sible, settled down to wait, how long they did not know. The conductor went ahead to the en gine and climbed up into the cab: “Well, Jim, what's the outlook. Can't you drive old Seventy-three through it?” “No, George, it's no go: the bank ahead is fully five jf.A deep and there is no doubt but that ™iere is fully fifteen feet of snow in the cut, and we’re in for it and no mistake. To back out is out of the question, as the first car would be off the track before it had gone a hun dred feet; the storm is increasing every moment, and unless they miss us at the other end of the road and send out help, there is no knowing when xve will be out of this.” “Very well, Jim, we’ll make the best we can of it; this is not as bad as a smash-up. Blow the whistle every feiv moments, so if an engine should be on the road looking for us they w’ill not run us down. I’ll go back among the pas sengers.” r l he three coaches of the train proba bly contained 150 passengers, on their way from Flemington to Bound Brook. About thirty-five of them were young ladies on their way to school, and their lively chatter, with their frequent bursts of merry laughter, showed that they were not very sorry that the train was stuck in a great, nasty, cold snow drift. The hours wore siowly along and the storm was increasing in furry in stead of abating, and the wind, terribly cold, had increased to blow a gale. The hour of noon came and went, but no assistance for the snowed-in travelers. Some one asked the brakeman to put more coal on the fire, as the car was get ting cold. The brakeman shook his head, and in an aside to the | avenger said that the coal was nearly all gone. The cry for coal came from all the cars, and soon the last bit of coil was gone. The situa tion began to look despera’e, and the men gathered in the baggage car to talk it over away from the women so as not to arouse their fears any more than possible. All suggestions were quickly proven im practicable, there was no way out. At last some one said, “well, we need not freeze to death, we arc standing in the woods; get axes and I’ll be one to go out and cut wood, and another party can go in search of some hou e where we can get food. A search through the train brought to light two axes, and a party of five started out into the woods; two worked at cutting down, while the others dragged the wood to the train. In this way the fires in the cars were soon going again, though it kept the two axes work ing lively to cut enough wood; but there was no lack of hands, as the men were willing and anxious to work. The party that started out in search of a farm house was not so successful. After three hours tramping through the cold and snow, thev were forced to return, unsuccessful, to the train, cold, weary and hungrier than ever, though there was not a man among them who would acknowledge that he was the least bit hungry. “It was for the sake of the ladies, you know.” And so the night closed in around them, the wind howling, the drifts getting deeper every moment. .. la( i y passenger* on the Amoig '-he la 7 !1 • k tittle scbooi train was a brip fv. wa . to her school. marm who wasoii pleasant as 1 She was just as sw snoW . though there m The world. 1 and cold and d - tbe ot her ladies j She went around them that the cheering them up, as it might be, storm was not ha t 0 come soon. and that help ' up ‘ imine nsely. There Bhe cheered then P gecmed to be was a J OllO -”, ter ascort. He did traveling with ht yieW of affairs that I Y ,t t, ke h e‘iust -cowled and growled, first'a * the trainmen, “they were a lacy se t- ’ then at the railroad company, tlicv rV ‘ rare a rap for the comfort of d ' * Ln a-rs ’ then at the beastly storm*' 1 When the men went out to cut i i did not go, “he was not a Woo t Conner ’’ and” when the little wood « h-IIP jf lie Wils going with rerneVn search of some food he de clined with thanks m no very gentle tone of voice, asking her if she “thought him a fool.” Some of the male mem bers of the company kind of clenched their fists as they heard his harsh answer to her, and saw the pained expression on her sweet face, but they said nothing, only a muttering of something that sounded like “pitch him in a snow drift ” at which his lordship glared around, but no one flinched. _ There was another young man in the mere duutuw. .• & . —- party who attracted attention, but not in the same way as the escort of the schoolmarm. When anyone sug -1 treated anything that promised relief, he was a voluuteer to try it; he cut wood for a while and then came back and took snow in the water cooler to the engine and melted it for drinking 1 water for those in the car, and did a dozen other little things to smooth over the discomforts of the time. One thing was noticeable, he studiously avoided the little schoolmarm and her escort. When the escort noticed him working away his blonde moustache was i seen to curl, which proved that the lip that bore it was sneering. The little schoolmarm looked rather strange at times at the active young man, and when they chanced to come near each other, which was seldom, she avoided his glance. The hours of the night wore slowly away, the men worked in relays at chop ping wood; a party with one ax in the woods chopping, another party with the other ax was in the baggage car cutting the wood into proper length to go into the stoves. The active young man had helped pull up the car seats and arrange them into couches for the ladies, as being more comfortable and easy than the seats proper, and he kept bringing in large armfuls of wood to put in the stove. The escort was walking up and down like a bear in a cage, growling and in everybody's way; he walked from one car to another and kept the doors on the swing, letting in lots of coid air and letting everybody know that he was hungry. Somebody suggested to him that there was plenty of snow, and to help lnmself. He tried to annihilate the offender with a glance. The escort went into the baggage car to watch them chop wood: a box stood in his xvay and in passing be chanced to strike his”foot against it; this provoked him and he gave it a hard kick for spite. The kick crushed in the side of the box and out roiie-l acract-or! This discovery was hailed with delight. “Here’s a go,” exclaimed the escort, “I don’t care who they belong to, I’m going to help myself. Come, gentlemen, help yourselves and take some in to the ladies.” There was no hesitation under the circumstances; they considered them selves justified, and the crackers quickly vanished out of the box. The baggage master smiled a quiet smile wheu he looked on the box and saw the name of the person to whom it was being shipped. The escort, after his supper of crackers, took the warmest and best seat by the stove, and went to sleep. The gray dawn began to appear through the still driving snow, and those who had been sleeping began to rouse from their fitful slumbers. All looked wan and haggard. Several of the ladies had been utterly prostrated from the cold, hunger and worry. Something must be done. It was suggested to make another attempt to find a house, but the I bravest looked out at the blinding, biting storm, and shrunk back. The active young man looked out at the storm aud de liberated a lew moments; then buttoned up his coat, pulled his cap down over his ears, put on his gloves, aud prepared to start out. “Where are you going?” was asked by several. “I am going to find something for the relief of these sick women or get frozen, I don t know which.” So saying he opened she door and disappeared in the storm without. The little schoolmarm uttered a half articulate cry, and stretched forth her hand as if to detain him, but he did not see or hear her, and those who saw her, thought that it was from a natural dis like to see anyone expose themselves to danger. The 'weary hours of another dav began to drag along. Those who had not forgotten to wind up their -watches the night Before, said that it was near noon, and the active young man had not re turned. Some thought that he had fallen in a drift and been frozen, others guessed that he had found shelter, but would not venture out again. The little schoolmarm looked sober and anxious, and more than once a suspicious mois ture might have been detected in her bright eyes. She wept and conversed with her escort in alow tone, but he evi dently was out of sorts and spoke very gruffly and said as he handed her some crackers: “If you are hungry eat those.’’ He had filled his pockets with the crackers. She gave the crackers to a child and looked at him with unutterable scorn, as she said: “If you are not man enough to go, 1 will.” She buttoned her jacket up to her dimpled chin, and throwing a shawl around her shoulders was about to step out of the door, when one of the men near her laid a detaining hand upon her arm. and asked what 9he xvas about to do? “I am going out to search for the j young man who went out some time ago, as no one else will.” This was too much for the nen. “You stay here and I will go,” sail one, “and I,” “and I,” said others. So muffling up. the rescuing party started, and the little schoolmarm kept behind with the others and watched. In about half an hour there xvas a shout. The rescuing party had returned and they bore among them the apparent- ' ly lifeless form of the active young man. They brought him in the ear and laid him on one of the improvised couches. Life was not extinct, but it would have been ere long had he not been found, lie lia l evidently reached some house and was on his way back, for clasped in his arms when they found him in a huge drift, where he had sunk exhausted, were fi e loaves of bread and a whole ham. When the little schoolmarm saw that he was cot dead, she brightened up won derfully and was as brisk as e er. They rubbed the active young man with snow and finally brought him back to consciousness. In the excitement of restoring the active young man, the provisions, for which he had risked his liie, were forgotten, until some one discovered the escort ic one corner of the ear cutting great slices off the liam with his jack knife. He was immediately requested to desist, aud was escorted out on the platform of the car by two or three strong men. A few moments after he was seen to crawl out of a snow-bank. Somehow or other the little school marm seemed to get near the active young man. and those standing arcund were surprised to see that they knew each other, and as the little schoolmarm seemed able to take care of him the other people gradually gathered at the other end of the car and left them alone, casting knowing looks in their direction c* o every once in a while. A short time afterward the little schoolmarm to'd a lady, whose acquaintance she had formed, that she and the active young man had been lovers, and had quarreled, and that the escort had come between them, she thinking that he was a nice young man, but now she saw his true character, and that all had been made up between the active young man and herself, and everybody voted that this was as it should be. Someone chanced to look out of the window aud discovered that the storm w«a over nod iiiat then in the distance was heard the shrill, clear whistle of the locomotive. Help was coming. Jim tried to blow an answering blast on the whistle of old Seventy-three, but steam was low and the whistle frozen fast. In a few moments, with much putting and whistling, three powerful engines forced their way through the drifts. Then there was shouting and hurrahing. Five hundred men soon cleared the snow from the bound train and the passengers, with light hearts, were again on their journey. When the train drew up at the sta tion, the baggage-master tapped the es cort on the shoulder, and said: “Here is a box that came from your store,” and handed him the broken cracker box. The escort looked at the box until the truth dawned upon him, and then with something that sounded very like a cuss word, flung the empty box in a snow drift and walked rapidly away, with the laughter of his companions of the train ringing in his ears. Sometime, soon after the school term closes, there is to be a wedding in which the little schoolmarm and the active young man will play the prominent parts and take upon themselves for life the pledges renewed in banks of snow. Yankee Blade. A Wonderful Printing Machine. The American Bookmaker describes a machine which takes in paper at one end and turns out comp etely bound books at the other at the rate of 5000 copies an hour. There are three great iron cyl inders, segmental in form and each having a diameter of six feet, and weighing about three tons each. On one of these are the forms which do the printing in quadruple series, the other two acting solely as impres-ion cylinders. In combination with the cylinder carry ing the printing forms are ink fountains, form and distributing rollers, while in combination with the impression cylin ders are novel appliances lor handling (automatically), revising, assembling, folding, covering and delivering the complete books. This remarkable con trivance requires eight tons of paper, with a corresponding amount of printing ink, and this it turns into books in a single day, and it requires twelve box cars, of 30,000 pounds capacity each, to transfer the output for a single week. This machine -is built in Philadelphia by its inventor and patentee, at whose establishment the visitor may see in daiiy and nightly operation no less than six of these mammoth machines turning with surprising rapidity and regularity their miles of paper into printed matter ready for the perusal of the reader. Cloud Telegraphy. A remarkable experiment in signaling with electric lights was recently made by the officers of two vessels of the British navy, the Orion and Espoir, off the port of Singapore. The Espoir had sailed from that port for Kong i.ong, leaving the Orion in the harbor of Singapore. When the Espoir was sixty miles distant the Orion sent her a message by means of the electric light. But can a light be seen sixty miles at sea? Certainly not, in its direct rays; but the Orion threw a brilliant blaze of light upon the clouds, and the reflection of this light was distinctly seen on board the Espoir. More than this, the Orion, having thrown upon the clouds a regular message by means of successful flashes, this mes sage was read and understo d on board the Espoir. The question has been asked whether this means of communication might not be made of practical advan tage. It would depend, it is true, upon the condition of the atmosphere, and upon cloudless nights there would be nothing to reflect from, but it seems en tirely practi, able to make the light of the most important lighthouses visible much farther at sea on cloudy nights by pro viding them with an apparatus enabling them to throw a series oi reflections upon the clouds.— Youth's Companion. Preferred the Younger Brother. A New York bachelor over seventy years of age recently visited Maine, fell in love with a damsel less than half bis age, was accepted, and went home to prepare for the coming of his bride. When all things were m order, instead of going after the betrothed himself he sent his brother. The younger man was pleased with his future sister-in-law, so pleased that he persuaded her to marry him before starting for New York.— - Belfast {Ale.) Frets. “QUIT YOUR FOOLIN’. 1 * Jr la is queer! I use’ to think Emmy didn't care for me. For whenever I would try Any lovin’ arts, to see How she’d take ’em— sweet or scuf-*» Always, saucy-like, says she; “Quit your foolin’ 1” Once, foii church, Jest to find if it would work, Round her waist I slipped my arm— My! ycu'dought ’o seen her jerk. Spunky? well, she acted so — And she snapped me up as perk— “qmit your foolin’!” Every time ’twas jest the same, Till one night 1 says, says I Chokin' some I must admit, Tremblin’ some I don’t deny “ Emmy, see n" ’s I don’t suit, Guess I better say ‘goodby,’ An’ quit foolin’.” Girls is queer! She only laughed— Cheeks all dimplin’; “John,” says she, “Foolin’men, that never gits Real in earnest, ain't for me" Wan’t that cute? I took the hint, An’ a chair, an’ staid, an’ we Quit our foolin’. — Judge . HUMOR OF THE DAY. “Great Scott!”—Sir Walter. A couple o’ castaways—Old shoes. The greyhound is a headlong anim A cereal story—A lie about the grain crop. Chestnut—a new name for an old thing. When the tailor gets rich it is by shear industry. A blind teacher would naturally have bad pupil*. If one were his own dentist he might have teeth extracted without payin’. The undertaker may not boast of his athletics, buthe’3 something of a boxer. The Cincinnati Commercial speaks of a petrified girl. She was probably rocked too much in her infancy. Most of the unwashed New Y'ork An archists are Russians. There is very little serf bathing in Russia. “X cannot sing the o!d songs I sang long years ago” Whereac a cheerful friend remarked: “Thank Heaven that is so.” Sho (happily)—“Aren’t the oyste;s delicious, George?” He (apprehensively) ‘Wes; and so are the crackers. Best I ever ate!” — Tid-Bits. As the man in the moon gets full he shines larger and brighter. The man on earth who gets full simply gets red ia the face, and —foolish. Beer is not generally considered an expensive drink, but a little porter on a drawing-room car will often cost you half a dollar. —Ntw York Newt. French as She is Spoke.—Patron (to restaurant waiter): “Got any Brie cheese?” Waiter (astonished) —“Only the pair I’ve got on.— Hotel Mail. “Can anything settle the servant girl question?” asks a weary housekeeper. To which we respecfully reply: ‘‘Yes, the kerosene can.” — New York M rcury. Papa (of Calvanistic faith, has just heard that Mollie was at the theatre last evening)—“Good morning, daughter of Satan ” Mollie—“ Good morning, fath er.” — Life. There are 1010 medicines in the pharmacop i a of the United States, and in most communities there is one man who has tried every one of them before discovering that there never was any thing the matter with him. Father (to would-be son-in-law) — “Young man, will you be able to tak& care of my daughter in the style in which she has always been accustomed?” Y’oung Man—“l’ll guarantee it, sir, ot return the girl.” —Nets York’Sun. “None of your sauce to me, miss,”* said the man who must have his little joke, with an assumption of brusque ness, as the waiter girl was about to place a dish of marmalade beside his plate at supper.— Detroit Free Pr ss. “Another big wash out on our line!” exclaimed the railroad employe’s in dustrious helpmeet, pointing to the string of whitened clothes which stretched from their back window to a house across the way.— Detroit Free Press. “Would the ladies be in favor of a uniform marriage law, do you think?” asked a member of Congress of one of his fair constituents; and she replied: “Very likely, if the uniform were a pretty one and had a handsome man in it.” “Ha, ha! How do you feel now?” asked one fly of another, which had been caught on a piece of exterminator paper, and was in vain trying to wade through the general stickiness. “Glue me,” was the brief reply.— Pitt slur g Chronicle, “This is very strange,” remarked Billy Bliven, thoughtfully, after he had tasted the contents of his butter-dish; “very strange indeed.” “What is strange?” “That such delicate, pale butter should turn out to be so robust.” —Merchant Traveler. “I am surprised, Bobby,” said his father, reprovingly, “that you should strike your brother. Don’t you know that it is cowardly to hit one smaller than yourself?” “Then why do you hit me, pa?” inquired the boy with an air of having the better of it.— Epoch. “Whose picture is that?” asked the new owner of a Nebraska opera-house of an artist who had been told to decorate the building according to his own taste. “Shakespeare’s,” replied the artist. “Shakespeare 1 Who’s that? Never heard of him. Paint it out and put my picture there.” — Graphic. At Cannes, in front of a small boot maker’s shop, the English tourist may find the following inscription in his own language: “Repairs hung with stage coach.” After long and anxious thought he may arrive at the cobbler's meaning, who only wishes to inform his numerous patrons that “repairs are executed with diligence.” There is an antiquated custom in Vienna by which house-owners, instead of paying their porters properly, allow them to levy a toil of four cents on every tenant returning after ten o’clock at night. The consequence is that the streets are comparatively deserted after that hour.