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Xlailc Comity avs. ♦ u l TRENTON. GEORGIA. A Mississippi paper says the South’s greatest songsters, the mocking birds, are becoming fewer, and the change is attributed to the advent of the Eng lish sparrows. The question of woman suffrage in Washington Territory came up before Judge Nash at Spokane Falls, and the Judge decided the act of the Legislature extending the franchise to women un constitutional. European nations have already appro printed about (3,500,000 of the 11,000.000 square miles of Africa, and as the Great Desert occupies 2,300,000 square miles, only about 2,500,000 square miles remain to be scrambled for. A new forage plant, called the aspei set, from Germany, which is said to thrive on the dry, sandy locations, where but little rain falls, and which is highly relished by all classes of stock, is ex pected to be introduced into this coun try. What a breaking of shackles from human limbs has taken place in the last twenty-seven years, exclaims the Detroit Free Press. In that time Russia has freed 23,000,000; ,Poland, 5,000,000, United States, 4,000,000, and Brazil, 2,000,000. It seems almost incredible, but Ivlr. George Kennon, the Russian traveler, states in one of h : s articles in the Venturi, that the territory of Siberia would in clude the United States, Alaska, with al' of the States of Europe except Russia, and there would still be 300,000 square miles to spare. ' ...... f-- . x - - . >-■ —*->n .j. ■**:' **** - - —^ A railwav syndicate has been formed for the purpose of constructing railways and encouraging colonization in Brazil It has a capital of $100,000,000, and proposes to build lines of railroad pene trating to regions s hitherto inaccessible to commerce, but rich in diamonds, precious metals and agricultural re sources. "■ General Boulanger, the French mili tary idol, recently declared at a dinner, ssys the New York Graphic, that in case of war he should conquer the Germans “with ease,” and that he had been indi cated for the work by the finger of God. “In that case,” said one of the clerical guests, “you must be a masculine Jeanne d’Arc.” “Exactly,” replied Boulanger, with great solemnity, “that is just what I am.” In referring to an invitation for Chi cago to take part in an Exposition at Bologna, Italy, the Tribune of that city thinks it significant that the acknowl edged ham and pure-lard emporium of the world should have this evidence of good feeling shown to it by the people of a city whose far-famed sausages en circle the world with a chain of pungent, nutritious yet mysterious and unfathom able links. The five stones erected to mark “Mason and Dixon’s line” between Maryland and Pennsylvania, have had their annual visitation by commissioners, who report one in good condition, one lost, one broken, one dislodged by mining operations, and the fifth, which bears on one side the arms of Penn sylvania, on the other those of Lord Baltimore, badly damaged by vandal relic-hunters. Prince Alexander,so it is stated by the Chicago Iltrald, has been informed semi officially that he can resume his courtship officially with the Princess Yictoria, with the approval of the German Court, just as soon as he furnishes the latter with satisfactory proofs that he renounces the Bulgarian throne forever. Otherwise Bismarck will continue to regret Yictoria can never be anything more than a sister to him. The proposed bridge across Ihe channe 1 between England and France is the big gest engineering scheme of the age, says the Atlanta Cons'itution. It is a little singular that the idea of a bridge should be received with favor in England when the tunnel was so bitterly opposed. The plan contemplates an iron bridge twentv miles long and 160 feet above the levef of the sea, The whole cost will not be more than $100,000,000. A. G. Armstrong, a merchant of Mex ico, Mo., has just had to pay sooo for attempting to collect an alleged debt ol i'i fi )m a poor widow, who holds a oosition in a dry goods store in St. Louis. Armstrong was charged with tiaving employed a collecting agency of Chicago, which, in order to gain their ends, resorted to the practice of sending an envelope to the widow bearing the inscription in large black letters, “Bae Debt.” The jury which tried the case, -ays the St. Louis papers, was a very in telligent one. According to the report of the Labor _ Commissioner of New York, recently issued, 50,000 workmen engaged in strikes during 1837, in that State. They gained $944,000 in advance <fages. but lost over $2, iOO,OOU while «' . of employment. Public parks are recommended as a preventive of anarchy. A speaker in Philadelphia traced tke connection be tween a certain class of virtues and open spaces. “Riotous uprisings,” he said, “never fiud their source in that part ol the population dwelling in the vicinity of parks, since anarchists frequent thickly crowded quarters, the alleys and densely populated courts.” Many of the towns of California whiel went out of existence coincident with the decline of gold mining have been revived, and are now luxuriating in t new and prosperous career through the development of the agricultural re sources of the country. Marysville, Auburn, Oroville and Placerville are illustrations. Orchards and vineyards have sprung up in their localities, fend enduring prosperity is apparently in store for them. The Atlanta Constitution nys that “the center of population has steadily moved southward, except during the war and between 1830 and 1840. In point of fact the South is increasing mine rapidly in population than the North, when foreign immigrants are left outef the calculation. The last census shows that the Southern States are add -650, 0(30 children to their population each year against only 798,000 in the North, with nearly twice the population. "T 1 - . The journal Forest and Garden gives a paper from Peter Henderson, in which he states that early in the present cen tury there were about 100 professed florists in the United States, and their combined greenhouses covered 50,000 square feet of glass. There are now ovei 10,000 florists, occupying 50,000,000 feet of glass, or about 1000 acres of greenhouses. These structures cost about thirty millipn dol'ars, and fehe plants in them are valued at twice thaf 6um. J Frank G. Carpenter says in the New York 1 Far'd that the Treasury is the largest department at Washington. It contains between 3000 and 4000 em ployes, and it looks like a tomb. Sombrt and massive, with many columns of dirty white stone, the doors which enter its basement look like the holes of a cave, and one almost looks for the letters over Dante Inferno: All hope aban on ye who enter here. These words, sfeys Mr. Carpenter, ought to be written over the doors of every Government department. The old idea that the Jews will finally reinhabit Palestine is again before the public in a new shape. A Jerusalem correspondent writes that the Holy City is fast becoming again the city of the Jews. In 1880 there were not more than 5,000 Jews there; now there than 30,000. Recent Russian persecutions have led thousands to make their homes there, and although the Turkish govern ment forbids all jews who are not, resi dents of Jerusalem to remain vbnger than thirty days, vet a judicious applica tion of bribes enables them to stay there as long as they please without molesta tion. Wealthy Jews have built hospitals and founded homes, and many of the refugees who are poor live from tho charity of their brethren. Cornell University is to have a depart ment of journalism. Professor Brainard bmith, who is an old newspaper man, re cently visited New York and consulted with a number of working newspaper men there, who agreed with him that the plan was most feasible. The college authorities promptly adopted his report. At the opening of the fall term, classes will be formed from the seniors, juniors, and post-graduates. Prof. Smith will give a series of lectures on the condition of newspaper work to day in the great cities. The classes will be organized very much like the city staff of a large newspaper. Prof. Smith will act as managing editor, and instruction wR] be given in the editing of copy, in con densing it, preparing it for the printer, and in writing head-lines. It has been legally settled in Texas that the moon has an immense influence in enlarging the brand on cattle. A law suit was pending relative to the owner* ship of a herd of cattle, and the solution depended upon the proof of the brand, which was found upon comparison to be three times as large as the branding iron which the claimant used. Thirteen wit nesses were introduced, all of them ex perts in branding and cattle breeding. They all swore that when cattle weri branded in the dark of the moon the brand will never, no matter how larg* the animal may grow, get larger than the dimensions of the iron used. Onth# other hand, when either grown cattle oi calves are branded in the light of tin moon the scar will spread, and tha lighter the moon the larger will be th« spread. And the suit, involving several thousand dollars worth of cattle, wai settled on this testimony. So the ques tion is legally settled that it is the moon that does it. A new table ornamentation is jelly illuminated by electric light. The dish, hidden from observation at first by a bilver cover and a mass of flowers, ia suddenly revealed with the light shin ing through the center, the effect is electrifying. NIGHT COMETH. 11 For the night cometh when no man can work." Night cometh, from over the mountains It’s shadowy feet To the forests, the fields and the fountains Come faintly, but fleet, Night cometh, and one hath his labor half done, As he waits by the roadside at setting of sun. Night cometh, and on over the mead It quietly flows j And hides in-the wave of its shadow The clover—the rose. Night cometh, and one with his spade in his hand Sits weeping in darkness he can't under stand. Night cometh; the waves of the ocean 1 hat shine in the sun Are heavy and sombre in motion- Their glory is gone. Night cometh, and one there is wr nging his hands, And sighing “Too late!” as ho sits on the sands. Night cometh, and with it the riot Of daylight goes down; The Btars in their shining bring quiet To village and town. Night cometh! how many in field an 1 in street Lie down with the work of their life com plete? —Gwendoline, in Chicago Current. MY FRIEND THE VISCOUNT. V by LUCY H. COOPER. , James S. Gray? Yes, that’s my name. Perhaps you may have heard it cited as be ing that of one of the best-known collect ors of bric-a-brac in the United States. Toil cee when a man has money and no children he must turn his attention to something, and antique snuff-boxes .and old Sevres cost less, in the lotm- run than stocks, and tke Hotel Hrouot is a far less ruinous place to frequent than Wall street. I always pay a long visit to Pans every year, and I think that is ■v\hat keeps Mrs. Gray contented, and reconciles her to my taste as a collector oiir§|lves ; I do not think that she appreciates a Louis JYyj. fan as highly as one in ostrich feathers and tortoise shell, and as to old Rouen ware she has more than once declared that she would bake pies in the plates if she had her own way. However, she likes some of my acquisitions very much, especially when they take the form of old \ enetian lace or antique jewelry. R was m y fondness for bric-a-brac that hist led to my making the acquaintance of my friend the viscount. I had news of a second-hand shop at Compiegne where there were some real treasures, iu the way of old weapons and ecclesiasti cal embroideries, to be had at a bargain, bo, one day I set off by the midday train for that town. It was a pleasant day in early winter, and the cars were fairlv well-filled, but in the first-class compart ment in which I was installed there was but one-other traveler, lie was quite a young man, not more than twenty-three or four, 1 should think, well-dressed and well-mannered, and decidedly good looking. \Ve struck up an ac quaintance before we had gone maDy miles through the medium of an exchange of newspapers, he very kindly offering to let me have his copy of L'll lustration for the Figaro , that I had read through from the first line to the last. Then I asked him some questions relative to a fine old surrounded with woods that the trmi was passing, and so we soon fell into quite an animated con versation. I found out that he lived at Compiegne, and some questions respect ing the bric-a-brac dealer to whose shop I was bound elicited from him the infor mation that he, too, wa? something of a collector. He had a number of anecdotes to tell me about the noted private collec tions of Paris, concerning which he seemed to be uncommonly well informed, and so the time passed very agreeably and rapidly till we reached our 'destina tion. We had left Paris under the pale sun shine of a pleasant Winter day, but on issuing from the station at Compiegne we found the rain falling in torrents. Now, if there is one thing that I dislike above another it is to carry au umbrella, a most unfortunate peculiarity for anv person who comes often to stay in Paris, where it usually rains some time in every day from October to May. Still, that is one of my peculiarities, and though Mrs. Gray has oft -n lectured me concerning it, saying that it is better to carry an umbrella for a week when it does not rain than to be without it one day that it does, I always slip out with my cane wheneverji can contrive to do so in tolera bly pleasant weather. I had got away cleverly, cane in hand, on that especial day, and of course it poured just to spite me. My new acquaintance instantly un furled his umbrella and offered to walk with me to the shop which formed my destination. “But perhaps,” he remarked, “you had better come home with me and wait till the rain has somewhat subsided, it cannot continue to pour after this fash ion very long.” Then, seeing that I hesitated a little, he continued: “After.all. you do not know my name. I ought to have introduced myself to you before asking you to become mv guest.” And he extracted from a neat little portfolio in Russian leather, stamped with a monogram and a coronet, which he took from a side-pocket, a card which he presented to me, and on which was engraved the Dame: “Viscount Koger de Chantauzy.” I gave him my card in exchange, and willingly accepted his kind imitation, and being not altogether free from a tendency to rheumatism, I was glad to get under shelter for a while. The house to which the Viscount con ducted me was situated on one of the side streets not far from the station. Its aspect rather disappointed me. I had pictured to myself an antique chateau with spacious grounds and a venerable aspect. But the home of my new friend was evidently not the ancestral hall of his race. It was a small house—one of the little modern villas wherewith the suburban towns of Paris abound—fin ished on the exterior with brick and white stone, and redolent of newness. The garden was small likewise, and boasted at that season of the year some three or four leafless saplings for sole garniture. A number sf fowls were running about, pecking and scratching at the bare grassplat, unheed ing the rain. The viscount opened the front door with his latchkey, and after installing me in the drawing-room he Excused himself and went in search of his wife. Left alone, I naturally proceeded to investigate the apartment. I never saw so oddly furnished a room in my life. The carpet was a showy, light-colored moquette, of the very cheapest character, and though it had not been long in use, it already bore signs of wear. The win dow-curtains were in raw silk, worth, as I knew by frequent visits with my wife to the Bon Marche and the Magasin du Louvre, just eight dollars the set. The chairs and sofa were in stained black wood, and were covered with common red Utrecht velvet. But on the mantel piece stood a small clock and a pair of candelabra in antique and artistic enamel, which would have brought, not hun dreds, but some thousands of dollars at any of the great auction sales of the Hotel Drouot. A small cabinet, placed beside the fireplace, held a heterogeneous collection of toys and knieknacks in carved ivory, gilt bronze, enameis, etc., and also a number of old miniatures and snuff-boxes. Some of these ob jects were the veriest trash, whilst others were 'choice and costly rarities. And over the arm of the sofa was spread a square of lace, which any connoisseur could recog nize as being antique Bruges point, worth., in that quality, some hundreds of francs the square inch. I had not much time to look about me, for in a few minutes the viscount re turned, bringing with him his wife. I cannot say that I was much prepossessed by the appearance of the viscountess. She was undeniably pretty, and wel comed me with infinite courtesy and cor diality. But, early in the day though it was, her cheeks were rouged and her eyes artistically shaded with black. Her yellow head, too, never owed its peculiar canary-plumage tint to the hand of Na ture. She had fine dark eyes, however, and a very small waist, though she was inclined otherwise to embonpoint. Her hands were large, and the nails irregular and ill-shapen? J made up my mind as I looked at her that my friend the vis count had probably contracted a mes alliance, a fact that would account for the peculiarities of his abode. I noticed, too, the same incongruity about the lady’s dress that I had observed in the furniture of the drawing room. Her costume was composed of cheap and ! showy materials, such an affair as can be purchased for fifteen or twenty dollars in I one of the great drygoods shops of Paris | at the close of the season. But at her throat she wore, in the guise of a brooch, an exceedingly beautiful antique minia ture set in pearls, and at one side of her waist hung suspended a chatelaine and watch, enameled with a design of roses and cupids in the best style of the reign of Louis XV.; and on the not very shapely hand that she extended to me in greeting sparkled a curious and valuable ring, an engraved emerald in a setting of : gold leaves and pearls, that was alto- < gether unique and admirable. / She was very cordial and gracious in 1 her manner to me, insisting upon my staying to lunch with her and the vis count. This invitation, however, I declined, limiting my claims on the hospitality of my new friend by request ing him to lend me an umbrella, which, by-the-way, I sent back to him by the parcels-post the very next day. The I viscount insisted on my coming into the dining-room to look at soma rare old china that had, he said, belonged to his great-grandfather, and whilst in that apartment I was once more struck with the singular incongruity that reigned amongst his household possessions. The table was laid for lunch, and I could not refrain from noticing that while the glass was of the commonest and the table linen of the coarsest description, the silverware—that is to say, the salt cellars and the forks—was of antique and artistic make,.and extremely beauti ful. After I had admired my host’s ceramic treasures to the full I took my departure. The rain had ceased, and when the front door was opened a noisy group of chickens came hastening up the steps . expecting to be fed. “Ah, the troublesome creatures!” cried the viscountess. “.My husband pets them so much that they are utterly spoiled; and he is so tenderhearted that he cannot bear to give me permission to have one of them killed.” “You must come back to see us in the spring,” chimed in her husband. “I ! am in treaty for a quantity of Eastern I curios that I expect to secure by that time, and I shall be pleased to show them to you. “ !So off I went in search of the bric-a --; brae shop that had been the original cause of my visit to Compiegne. I found ! it without difficulty, made some pur chases and retired to Paris. A few days ' later Mrs. Gray and I left for an ex j tended tour through Italy, which lasted ■ till late in the spring. I am never a great hand at reading foreign papers, contenting myself usu j*lly with those that are forwarded from j America, with a glance at Galign-mi's \ Messsengr from time to time, so I was i quite behind hand with French hews i when we got back to Paris. I bad j picked up some curious things and some j genuine antiquities to add to my col | lection, in Venice, Home and Naples, and after I had made the tour of the I second-hand shops on the Rue de Prov ence, it occurred to me that I might as j well go down to Compiegne to see if the j old dealer whose acquaintance I had made in the autumn had anything new. I carried out my project, and after I had | concluded my inspection and my pur chases, I found that there was still an hour to elapse before the departure of the express train for Paris. How 1 should I kill time in the meanwhile? I am j of a rather impatient disposition, and cannot endure to lounge idly about a railway station waiting for the arrival or departure of the errs. Suddenly a bright thought struck me. I would go to see my friend the viscount, and so dispose pleasantly of the superfluous time. I reached the house very speedily as it was not far away, but it was shut up and seemed totally deserted. Even the fowls that the viscount could not bear to have killed had disappeared from the garden. But what struck me as very curious was, that groups f gazers came and went continually, to stare at the outside of that very commonplace abode, murmur ing and whispering among themselves as they looked at it. I was just about to take my departure, when I was joined by an alert-looking young man, notebook and pencil in hand, who introduced him self to me as an American, and the Pari* correspondent of the Western World of Chicago. “An American like myself, sir, I see,” quoth my young fellow-countrymen. “I have come down to take a look at the house. Curious looking place—very homely and quiet to have been the scene of such murderous plots and machina tions—don’t you think so?” “What plots and what murders?” 1 asked in surprise. “Is it possible that you do not know that this is the house where Marchaudon lived?” “And who was Marchandon?” “He murdered madarne Cornet, the wife of the wealthy old East Indian trader that lived on the Rue de Seze. He was the good- looking young thief and assassin who used to hire himself out a; a valet to wealthy old gentlemen oi ladies in Paris, and then plunder thi house at the first opportunity. He al ways managed to get off without detec tion, as he lived down here and passed himself off as a viscount. Stay! I think I have the name here that he used to go by;” and he consulted his notebook. “Yes—here it is—the Viscount de Chan tauzy.” “1 have never even heard of Marchan don,” I answered, feeling very ill, in deed. “That is strange. You cannot have read the papers very carefully of late. It is the most romantic murder case on record—the double life of this young, handsome man, who was a servant in Paris and a nobleman at Compiegne— who gained funds for the latter phase of his career by robbing bis employers in the former, and who chose in preference as his victims those persons who were collectors of antique knieknacks, having himself a taste for such things. lam told that this house was a perfect museum of all sorts of curious and beautiful and artistic rarities when he inhabited it. This queer dual existence had gone on for some years, and might hqve lasted still longer had not poor Madame Cornet chanced to wake up in the middle of the night, to see her trusted, elegant valet in the act of searching in her wardrobe for her jewels. She screamed for help, and Marchaudon, to silence her, killed her—the wretch!” “And when did all this take place?’* “Some weeks ago. He was tried al most immediately and was found guilty. He was guillotined yesterday.” And that was the last of my friend ths viscount. —Frank Leslie's. A Primitive Resort. In Second avenue, pretty well down town, is a lager beer saloon conducted on principles unique and original. It is patronized largely by Germans who love to sit and gossip about their fatherland during the evening hours while sipping their favorite beverage. In front of the saloon is a small garden shadowed by an awning. Every pleasant summer even ing the tables are covered with beer glasses, and the jolly conversation may be heard by passing pedestrians. The interior of the saloon is quaintly interesting. On one side of the wall, from the floor to the ceiling, are pigeon holes similar; to those in a barber shop. Each space contains a glass or mug with the name of its owner painted thereon. Some of the moneyed Germans of the neighborhood have silver plates on which their names are engraved. When a cus tomer comes in the waiter gets down his mug and fills it with foaming beer. Very little transient trade is done at this plaeeJ Another peculiarity about the saloon ii that it has no bar and no cigars to sell.* A rack is filled with long pipes, and each customer, if he chooses, helps himself’ putting the pipe back when he gets through with it. Many old German! from the upper part of the city are amons the regular patrons, and the proprieto*! says that he is making lots of money.—* New York Telegram. The Japanese Lil Big Noses. The presence in the city of LeeMapano, a Japanese, whose nose furnishes him thj means of earning a livelihood—Mr. Mapano being a smeller of tea—recall! the fact that in Japan the noso is the only feature which attract! attention. The nose determines tho beauty or ugliness of a face according a! it is big or little. This is probably dug to the tact that difference of noses con stitutes about the only distinction be tween one Japanese face and another. The eyes are invariably black, the cheeli bones high and the chin receding. In Japan a lady who has a huge proboscis is always a raging beauty and a reigning belle. There are few large noses among the natives, and lucky indeed is he or she upon whom nature lavishes one. In all Japanese representing supposedly beautitul women the artist turns himself loose on the nose. —Kansas City Times. Cunning Chinese Pig Traders. Pig rearing is a great industry ir, Hainun, China. Last year 85,000 were shipped from Ivlungchow to Hong Kong, where an unlimited demand exists foj this particular porker. Owing to the ex treme competition, however, among the shippers, 1887 was not a very prosperous one. A frequent fraud is practiced on them. On account of the shallow watei of the port of embarkation the pigs are frequently sent out to the steamers at night, and the boatmen take advantage of their opportunity to exchange big pigs for small on the way. They bring back a receipt for the right number from the ship, and appropriate the profit made on the weight of the pigs. Chi cago Times. The Great lowa Calf Case. The great lowa calf case is about to be tried again at Waterloo. It was com menced in 1874, and has been in th< courts ever since, and is yet un deter mined. It has been tried once in Ben ton county, once in Clinton county, twice in Blackliawk county, where it is now pending for the fifth trial. It has been twice or three times to the Supreme C ourt of the State and bankrupted the parties in the suit, who were wealthy farmers at the commencement of the liti gation. This simply goes to prove whal consummate fools some men are when it comes to a small disagreement,and illus trates very forcibly the great need ol courts of conciliation.— Dubuque Tims, NEVER MORE. Far away from the world her heart throb* are stealing Over field, over mountain, over river and rill; She heeds not the charm of their silent sp iling, She’s wrapped in her musings, and it’s peace to be still. Where is her lover, and what path does he folow? Does he ever look back to think of her pain? Does he ever look back from mountain or hollow, With a sigh that he never shall meet her again? Let her dream of him now in the light wind i hat passes Over lilac and myrtle, where lingers his si ad ■; Let he. dream of him now in the pain that harasses The sheen and the shadow, which kiss as they fade. kh, proud was the glance that unkindly es tranged them, And secret the torture both hearts had to bear. Was either to blame that a light word had changed them, And pride was the mask weeping love had to wear? Love’s chain may be severed, and its bloom seem declining. As steps, full of sorrow, proceed their own way; 3ut the links and the bloom will live on re pining, Till the hearts of both lovers are wrapped in the clay. —Hugh Farrar McDermott, in New York Sun. HUMOR OF THE DAY. A head scenter —tbc nose. An assayer knows how to handle th* ores. Roosters can generally chanticleer note. A receiving teller—a gossiping wo man. It is when a boot is new that there if music in the sole. Is the soup likely to runout of the poj when there is a leek in it? Rumor says our poultry raisers con template the formation ot a Cochin club. The dog who goes without a muzzle to* save a trilling expense is penny wise and pound foolish. Nobody can paint pictures equal to the artist whose nom de plume is Jim Jams. Texas Siftings. Don’t the man who commits suicide by hanging himself die of his own free will and a cord? “You can live at home and make money,” declares an advertiser. Keyrect. A good many young men found that out long a go.—-Detroit Free Press. In Kentucky—Runaway couple to Gretna Green magistrate: “Will you join us”’ Magistrate—“ Thanks; I don’t care if I do.”— Washington Critic. Servant—“ The mistress says, mum, that she’s not at home. Who shall I say called?” Caller—“l r ou may say a lady called who didn’t bring her name.”— Tht Epoch. He—“ Your friend, Miss Wabash, is quite ‘chic,’ Miss Breezy.” Miss Breezy —(a trifle enviously) “Yes; Clara may be a trifle ‘chic,’ but she’s no chicken.” —Harper's Bazar. “I would box your ears,” said a young lady to her stupid and tiresome admirer, “if " “If what?” he anxiously asked. “If I could get a box large enough for the purpose.” A man ill with consumption tried to engage a certain young man as his ser vant, but failed, because the latter said he did not want to be valet of the shadow of death.— Chronicle-Telegraph. Mrs. Christopher Cross—“ This is a pretty time of night for you to come aome.” Mr. Christopher Cross—“’Sh, m’dea! Ain’t come home yet. Jes’ called t’ shay y’ needn’t sit up f’ me to night.” A fashionable tailor of this city is making a summer suit from crash towel ing for one of his customers. One would imaginerihat crash would make a pretty loud suit of clothes. Commercial Bulletin. “How is your husband feeling this morning, Mrs. Bentley?” “Oh, doctor, I don’t know. He quarreled with me and threw a teaspoon at the baby because it cried.” “Ah, favorable symptoms! He is getting better.”— Judge. “An exchange says the intelligence, “Hats blocked while you wait,” fre quently stares you in the face on the line of the elevated railroad. It isn’t aft common as cars blocked while you wait, however.— Yonkers Statesman. Mrs. Della Creme (wearily)—“l know everything we eat is adulterated, but what can we do, Reginald? We must trust our grocer.” Mr. Reginald Crem# (drearily)—“Ah, yes, Della, very true; and if—oh, if—our grocer would only trust us!”— Tid-Bits. Merriman—“Did you hear that th# Locks and Canals Company had threat ;ned tq bring suit for damages against the Vesper Boat Club?” Graves—“No! Is that so? What have the boys been doing?” Merriman—“Pulling up th# river.”— Lowell Citizen. Charles—“Mamma, to-day the teachef praised me.” “Did he? What did h# say to you?” “Well, he didn’t exactly say much to me, but he said to my seat mate: ‘Y'ou are the greatest good-for nothing in the whole class. I even tbink more of Charies than of you.’”— Fliegende Blatter. “It is a curious thing in public life,” said Wiggins, as he laid his newspaper on the table, “that a windy, loud mouthed impostor often succeeds, while men of great merit are passed over.” “Not at all,” replied Bobiey,” “it’s th# most natural thing in the world to put the blower before the grate.” “In court,” said the card on the lawyer’s door; “Back in ten minutes,” on many mor .*; “Gone to the hospital,” on the doctor’s slate; On another, “sit down and wait;” ‘Gone to the bank,” on the notary’s sign; “Arbitration,” that young clerk of mine; “Back soon,” on the broker’s book; ' Collecting rents,” on my agent's hook. They were all too busy, a matter quite new. “cry sorry was I. I had nothing to do; Then I hied me hence to the baseball ground, And every um on the grand stand found.