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Ijatic s\Ws, TRENTON. GEORGIA. A French engineer has conferred a blessing on all players of stringed in struments by inventing a peg which will not slip Premier ve uiers says tnat nussia is done with the Bulgarians and they may do anything they please, from cutting each others’ throats to declaring an empire. Under the last census of France there were reported in that republic 190 per sons who were living at the age of ont hundred years or more, and 15,153 who were more than ninety years old. Every once in a while an anti-mus. tache crusade is started somewhere in ttiis country or Europe. This time the movement has had its revival in Eng land, and a clean-shaven face is the fash ion in London. The lower classes of the Italian people continue to emigrate in enormous num bers, and the Italian Government is much alarmed. The number which left Genoa last year was 101,200 as against 52,852 the previous year. Most of them go to South America. M. de Blowitz, the eccentric Paris correspondent of the London Times, is inclined to think that the new French rifle is a wonderful weapon. He says that it is both noiseless and smokeless and sends a bullet with perfect accuracy a distance of four miles. An American who lived in France for five years and saw many rows and ruc tions, says that Frenchmen who don’t fight duels always pull hair or kick each other’s shins. He used to fairly aehe to to see some one strike out from the shoulder and score a clean knock-dowu, but was never gratified. It is said that there are between fifteen hundred and two thousand women in the Northwest who are interested in ranch and stock property. Many acknowledge their brands over their own names, while others are interested in stock running under other names and in which they are silent partners. — The natives of the Arctic regions have a barbarous, but effective way of dealing with the wolves which are a pest there. Sharp blades are stuck in the ice and baited. The meat freezes, and in thaw ing out with his tongue the blade cuts the tongue, ultimately preventing the beast from licking the snow, and thirst finally kills the animal. According to the investigations of Mr. Edwin Chadwick, the statistician, the average life of the English gentry is 50 years, of the shop-keeping class 27 years, and of the wageworkers 23 years. Out of every 100 of the children of the shop keepers 38 die under that age, while no "less than 48 in every 100, nearly one half, of the children of wageworkers die under 5. Americans have the good habit of going to oollege. It is said, as to the learned nations, that in this country one man in every 200 takes a college educa tion; in Germany one in every 213; in England one in every 500, and in Scot land one in every 600. The grade of general intelligence is higher in the "United States than in any other country on the globe. Philadelphia is greatly alarmed over the decline in its grain shipments. Very little wheat or corn has been shipped on foreign account during this year, and it looks as if the latter half of 1888 would be duller than in the first six months. The decline in wheat alone is over 4,- 000,000 bushels, and corn about 1,500,• 000 bushels, as compared with a corre sponding period in 1887. It may surprise some people, says the New York Graphic , to learn that Cap tain Kidd was never legally charged with piracy, and that after being held in prison for over two years he was tried and convicted of killing a mutinous sailor. If he ever committed one single act of piiacy the law was not able to bring forward proof of it. We are glad to make this correction in favor of Capt. Kidd, though it come 3 a little late. Several of the most eminent architects in the country have been invited by the trustees of the proposed new Protestant Episcopal Cathedral, of New York city, to submit plans for an edifice which shall be the largest, costliest and most enduring church structure in this coun try. The name of the new cathedral will be St. John the Divine. Land has already been purchased for it above Eighteenth street, near the Hudson River. It is proposed to have the build ing face Bouth and run back to a depth of about 400 feet. No inflammable ma terial will be used in its construction. The exterior will be of marble or granite. All plans and drawings must be submit ted to the trustees on or before the loth of next December. The municipal authorities think crossings are so unsafe in Paris that an English paper says they have employed surgeons disguised as policemen for the purpose of helping the timid people across the perilous parts of the street* and boulevards, and to be at hand in case of accidents. In view of the celebration in 1892 of the 400th anniversary of the discovery of America, the Italian Government has decided, on the suggestion of the Minis ter of Instruction, to collect and publish all the documents and charts relating to Christopher Columbus. Twelve thou sand lire annually have been allotted for the next five years for that undertaking, which is to be carried out by Senator Correnti, with the assistance of a learned commission. The great American fat stock show will be held in Chicago this year from November 13 to 24, inclusive. The dairy show, the poultry show r , and the horse show will be held at the same time. The premium list will be larger than ever before, nearly $15,000 having been already subscribed by the business men of Chicago, and this sum will be supplementary to the regular list offered by the State Board of Agriculture. The entries in all the departments are large. A curious ceremony was lately held at Fontainebleau, France, entitled the “Feast of Carp,” at which the fish are not eaten, but simply have rings inserted in their noses, after which they are re turned to their native element. Numer ous offers of jeweled rings were received from Parisian ladies. After the insertion of the ring, tL:; carp are returned to the water to the sound of tabor, trumpet and kettledrum. Experiment proves that “ringing” does not injure the fish in any way. The City of Denver, Col., will soon have the most powerful astronomical telescope in the country between Wash ington and the great Lick Observatory in California. W. B. Chamberlin, of that city, has provided the money for the great telescope, and also will erect, at his own expense, a stone tower to be used as an observatory. The famous Lick telescope is on the summit of Mount Hamilton, but the Denver instrument, in University Park, will be 1000 feet higher. A soldier named Michael Schmidt has been hanged in the Alser Barracks of Vienna for the crime uf wilful murder, amid a somewhat fanciful military cere monial. The infantry company to which he belonged was drawn up in a square around the gallows; two ad'utants went through the comedy of applying to the general in command of the army corfs for a pardon, which the latter had no power to grant, and after the man had been hanged a general salute to the corpse ■was ordered, after which followed/"'* prayer. __ _ Under the recent act of Congress, ap proved by President Cleveland, any en velope, wrapper, or postal card contain ing on the outside anything which re flects injuriously upon the person ad dressed, or any one else, or upon liis character or conduct, or is plainly calculated and intended to injure his feelings or reputation, or bring him into discredit, or which threatens him. will be excluded from the mails. Anything in the nature of an offensive or threatening dun apparent upon an envelope, outside cover, or postal card, or conveying the suggestion that such dun is inclosed, will be excluded as non-mailable under this act. More than thirteen hundred wires ar6 stretched from the shores of Manhattan Island. The Western Union’s share of these is about seven hundred live wires. To manipulate these about 1200 persons are employed in the main building, at Dey street and Broadway; and in the sub-offices throughout the city, includ ing the Broad street cable office, abnut 225 more persons are needed. This does not include messengers, the American District Company,employing about 1100, engaged in Western Union business. Most of the other lines arc those of the tele phone companies, the Postal Telegraph Company, which is the only competitoi of the Western Union, having less than 100 wires. Professor Monroe Smith tells us. in Political S ierice Quarterly, some must astonishing facts. Of all the population of Massachusetts only 855,491 were born of native parents, while 919,869 had foreign parents and 119,741 were born of j mixed parentage. That is, Massachusetts ! is, in fact, a foreign State, for 53.53 per cent, of her blood is foreign. “There are sixty-eight cities and towns in the Commonwealth in which there is an ex cess of person- of foreign parentage. The>e towns have 58 per cent, of the population, while the remaining 283 town 3, which contain a ma ority of na tive born parentage, represent only 41 per cent, of the whole.” That is, oui foreign influx gravitates into towns and cities. . The English sparrow has become one of the most serious prob ems with which the farmers of our country have to con tend, in the way of scents damaging to the crops. They are also of equal dam age to the song birds, and the insectiver , qus birds of our country. ' FOLLY LAND. In Folly land what witchery! What pretty looks, what eyes there b«; What gamesome ways, what dimpled smiles; What lissome limbs, what frolic wiles; What easy laughter, fresh and clear; What pranks to play, what jests to heart Old Time forgets to shako his sand; The Days go tripping, hand in hand, In Folly land, in Folly land. In Folly land, one idle hour, The moonlight had a wizard power; Its fairy glamour turned mv brain: I would that I were there again! We stood together, ’neath the sky; A bird was chirping drowsily; He smiled, he sighed, he held my hand. Ah me! Ah well, —we understand, ’Twas Folly land, ’twas Folly land! My sober friend, how worn your looks! Your heart is in your mouldy books. Here’s half a cobweb on your brow! I seldom see you jovial now. Fling down your volumes and be free To take a pleasure-trip with me. Como: “Here’s my heart, and here’s my hand!” We’ll launch our skiff, and seek the strand Of Folly land, of Folly land. —Danske Dandridge. A STORY OF THE MINES. BY MRS. NORA MARBLE. It was a desolate scene as I wandered among the pitfalls and abandoned work ings of the Beaver Meadow Coal Mines. In a hollow of an old and useless strip ping lay tons of slaty waste, among which gleamed bits of coal here ana there. The mineral had long gone its way to the market, and only the refuse remained; but even these bits the poor about the district were forbidden by the owners to glean. The winter had been a severe one,and the coalhandlers’ strike for a few pence more a day had augmented the sufferings of the poor, not only in and about the great city, but extending out to the coal regions as well; for the barons had shut down, and was not coal as dear for the miners as for the rich? The place looked deserted and dreary enough, but I walked on, musing over the fate which doomed the generality of men to toil and poverty, when suddenly the figure of a child arose from one of the heaps and stood before me,trembling in every limb, and a piteons, scared ex pression upon his wan, pinched little face. _ “Don’t be alarmed,” I said,touched by his eviden t fear; ‘‘l wouldn’t harm you. ” _ “Ben’t you come to arrest me for pickin’ up the coal?” he inquired, faiter ingly; “didn’t the maisters send ye?” At his feet I now spied a pail half full of the precious stuff. “We h’an’t got no fire,” he said, grasp ing the pail with his little blue, half frozen fingers, “and poor granny has been shiverin’ and moanin’ and huggin’ the baby awful close, sir. She thinks that keeps it warm, you Know.” A wan smile flitted over his face as he said it, but something in his tone brought a lump to my throat. “And what is your name?” I next Inquired. “Jemmy, sir ” “And your father—where is he?” “I dunno,” answered the boy. “Dead'?” I queried. “Mebbe. I dunno.” “And your mother?” His little lip quivered. “Mother went to w£-k afore daylight, lir. She goes out a-wSt.iin’ and scrubbin’ when she can git it. We’ll have some supper when she gits home—granny and me will, and I’ll have a lire, ’cause you know mother’ll be awful cold and tired.” “Well,” I said, struggling with my emotion, “let us fill the pail, and I will carry it.” It was soon done, and before long we stood upon the threshold of a miserable shanty which the boy called “home.” He hesitated a moment before opening the door. “You ben’t one of the maisters now, be yet” he asked, solemnly. “God forbid,” I answered, as seriously, j “And ye ain’t come to turn us out o' the cabin?” “N ever fear,” I smiled; “I corneas a friend, not an ememv.” For answer he opened the door. Home! A carpetless floor, a bed, a chair or two, a tireless stove. Cowering close to the latter sat an old woman crooning to a babe which, she held in her arms, swathed in rags. “Lie still, my bairn,” she rhurmured, j startled by the opening of the door; “lie still—the maisters shall nae touch ye, never fear.” Oh! those hollow cheeks, those trembling hands, those straggling locks, that bent, shivering form. bhe gazed at me curiously at first, with a vacant, dazed-like stare, then a shud der shook her frame. | “Be ye one o’ the maisters,” she in quired, in a husky voice. “.No,” I replied, smiling; “no.” ‘-‘I maun a knowed it,” she said, with a nod, “The deil ne’er eooms a-smilin', and—and” here her voice fell to a whis per — “the barons are all sold to the deil —did ye know that ?” I made no answer, and she continued her croouing to the babe in her arms. “Hush, my bairn,” she said to the motionless figure: “hush, thy father’s a-coomin’ —a-coomin’ home the day. “Has’t reeu him?” slic cried, su Idenly turning to me; “lius't seen my Sandy? Mypuir boy, Sandy—did he send ye:” 'I he boy looked at me with a wistful, touching expression. * v andy *s the father,” he explained, i “who w’entaway long ago.” | At this juncture the door opened and a woman about thirty years ot age en tered, with every appearance of weari ness and heart-sickness iu her form and fth*/ Lor the first time the boy's eyes lightened. “.Mother,” he said, “the gentleman fetched home a whole pail-full of coai— see!” and the little fellow spread his hands over the newly kindled fire, with a look of pride and satisfaction. “Hushl” whispered granny; “the bairn sleeps. Wake her not up to misery again. It were a blessin’, when hunger eooms and cold, for us all to *leep. The maisters canna sell sleep,” she muttered, brushing with one toil worn hand the straggling lbcks from her brow: “though they do own our bodies, they canna touch the soul.” “Poor granny!” sighed Jemmy’s mother. “’tis always the maisters since that awful day. Sleepin’ or wakin’, ’tis always the maisters.” “8h!” again whispered the old woman, rising feebly and depositing her burden upon the bed; “sh-h! the bairn sleeps.” “The child must be cold, ” I said to the younger woman. “Its clothing seems poor and thin.” .''he smiled strangely and placed her finger upon her lip. ‘•Tain t no real baby,” whispered the boy; “it’s only a stick o’ wood the granny calls the bairn.” I looked at the boy’s mother inquir ing!^. “Yes,” said she, “the bairn died the morning poor Sandy was taken away. Granny went crazed, as you see, which was a mercy, sir, seeiu’ as how she loved the bairn and Sandy better than life.” The old woman had returned to her chair, and, cheered by the warmth, was sinking into a gentle doze. “Sandy!” she murmured. “Sandy’s coomin’ hame the day. The bairn will nae mair cry from hunger, for the father is coomin’ hame.” “Of what dark day do you speak?” I inquired; “and who took your hus band away?” The boy shuddered, and crept close to his mother’s side. She hesitated. “Here, Jemmy,” I hastened to say, ‘ ‘take this money and go to the nearest store. Your mother will tell you what to buy.” He was gone; but, nevertheless, I was haunted by those solemn, pleading, wist ful eyes—eyes in which the glad light of happy childhood had never lurked; eyes which looked out upon life shadowed by the wing of poverty and hopeless misery. “You may remember, sir,” began his mother, “the great strike of the miners in this region in the year 188 —. Sandy, my husband, sir, was agin it from the first. He knoweJ it meant starvation in the end for the miners, and triumph for the masters. Labor, sir, is the only in heritance of the poor; and when there's no labor, there’s no wages, and no wages means no bread. So while the masters count their gold and mockingly bide their tim p , the poor strikers and their families must sulfer, naught being left them but to eat the bread and drink the waters of affliction.” “True,” I assented; “too true.” “Well, sir,” she continued, “the men hart been idle for months, but still they clung to the hope that, by holdin’ out, their future would be bettered—that the barons would see at last that all they asked for was wages enough to sweeten labor; something beyond the coarse fare and the comfortless cabin which had ever been their portion. So the day came when even the bit of salt pork and black bread could no more be had at the com pany’s store on credit. It was bitter cold and Sandy had gone out to get the trust of a pail of coal. He was very white, sir, when he came back, and there was that in his eye which made me shudder. “ ‘Why, Sandy,’ I cried, ‘my man— why do you look so?’ “For answer he pointed to the empty pail. “ ‘They would gie me nane,’ says he, slow like and husky, ‘they will nae trust us more.’ “ ‘And why?’ I asked, all of a tremble. “ ‘They mean to turn us out of the house to-morrow,’he answered, bitterly. ‘New men, my lass, are coomin’ to take our places at sixty cents the day. Foreigners, Jenny, at sixty cents the day!’ “‘But the bairn, our sick bairn!” I cried. ‘She has been ervin’ for a sup of broth since early mornin’. She is dyin,’< Sandy—dyin’ for the lack of nourishment.’ “Sandy groaned. He was a big, brawny man, sir, willin’ to work, and he well-nigh worshiped the little one which lay there moanin’ and cryin’ for the broth which he couldn’t give her. “We maun get a chicken, Sandy,’ cried granny; ‘try it, mon. The darlin’ is starvin’, can ye no see?’ “ ‘A chicken?’ cried Sandy, with a bitter laugh. ‘Ye maun as well ask me for the key of heaven, granny. They would nae gie me the trust of a pail of coal the morn. A chicken ! they would call me mad an I shall ask for it— mad!’ “Well, sir,” continued the woman, after a painful pause, “the next day was cold and raw. A fine, drizzling rain set in which froze as it fell. The little one was worse. Bhe lay quite still now, and moaned no more. “ ‘They will not turn us out in this storm, bandy, with a sick bairn, I said; ‘they can never be so cruel as that.’ “ ‘The new men must have homes,’ j he answered, despairing like; ‘and when did ye know the barons to show mercy? Nae, I’m afraid we’ll have to go: but, if the bairn dies, if she dies, Jenny, I’ll ’ he stopped and clinched his hands, and muttered something under his breath. ‘‘„ust then came a knock at the door. Grtnny looked out the window, then turned with white face and set lips, and grasped Sandy l.y the arm. u ‘Be a mon,’ she said, in a low, deep voipe, ‘be a mon, Sandy’, and dinna let them turn us out this awfu’ day. Think o’ your dyin’ bairn, and he a mon.’ ‘fSandy shook in every limb, but answered not a word. ‘(A louder rap now at the door, and an oati or two. “Granny wrung her hnnds in agony, for just then from the bed came a low moan. “‘Broth!’ cried the bairn; ‘granny, broth!’ “ ‘Open the door, Sandy,’ said granny; ‘open the door;’ and taking the little one in her arms, she stood, like a figure turned to stone, in the middle of the floor) “Jemmy, hardly more than a bahe, clunf weeping to my skirts as I knelt in prayer by the tireless stove, asking aid from One greater and richer than the owners of the coal mines. “There was silence for a moment when the door was opened, then one of the men laughed. “‘Come,’ he sad, ‘make feady to be out of this by noon. You had your orders yesterday, bandy, and we mean to enforce ’em.’ “But the bairn is near to dying,’an swered bandy, choking like, ‘and sure ye will not tu r n us out in the storm:’ “ ‘Well, if the brat be near dying, said an offleer, brutally, ‘she may as well die outside as in.’ “Then,” continued the woman, shield ing ker eyes with one hand, “I heard a growl like as from a wild beast, then a cry of mortal agony, and then—” Her voice broke, and she half arose from her chair and looked with a fixed, stony gaze straight before her. And.thep?” I queried, after a painful pause. “And then,” she resumed, with white lips, “the man who had uttered that cruel speech flung up hi 3 arms, swayed to and fro, and fell at Sandy’s feet with out life or motion. Then the rest sprang upon t andy. who stood there da/ed and horror stricken, white as the dead man at his feet. did nae mean to kill him,’ he said, solemnly, with uplifted hand; -Hod above knows I did nae mean to kill him. But the bairn is the light o’my eyes, and if any of ye I e fathers, ye maun know how—how— ’ He could say no more, sir, for the tears which choked him; tears wrung from his great, loving heart a heart as tender as a woman’s. “ ‘Come,’ said the dead man’s friends, savagely, ‘come. We don’t want any of your whining. You’ll get a halter for this day’s work, never fear. “ ‘A halter!’ exclaimed grauny, dazed like—‘ahalter for my Sandy!’ Then she looked at the dead man’s face, and laughed, such a horrid laugh, sir, that it curdled the blood in our veins. “The child no longer moaned, but lay quiet wjthin her arms. Sandy shook otf the hands which held him, and stooped to kiss the bairn. “ ‘She’s dead,’ he said, quietly; ‘my Jenny, our pretty bairn, is dead;’ and without another word turned and w r eut out the door, never to enter it again.” “Surely,” I stammered, “he was not —” I could not bring myself to utter the horrible word. “No, sir,” she said, quietly: “but he was sent to prison for life.” “And you, and the boy, and granny?” I inquired—“what did you do?” “The neighbors helped us to move here,” she said, wearily, “and helped to bury the child. Granny’s reason lied that very day, and as you see, still she nurses the bairn, and ever in her ear rings that mournful cry, ‘Broth! granny, broth by The door opened suddenly at this juncture, and in sprang Jemmy, with a look upon his face which brought us both to our feet. “He’s come!” he gasped; “he’s come! Granny was nac mad when she said he'd come the day.” “Who?” cried his mother, a wild hope gleaming in her eye. “Quick, Jemmy, tell me! Who has come?” “My boy, Sandy,” crooned granny, aroused by the confussion; “’tis my Sandy come back with broth for the bairn.” “Ay, mither,” cried a rough manly voice at the door, “God be thanked, ’tis thy boy Sandy come back, indeed!” The wife stood like one turned to stone. “Escaped?” she gasped, with a shud der, as her husband held out his arms; “escaped?” “Nae, my lass,” he cried; “never fear, ’tis not escaped I am, but pardoned, Jenny—pardoned.” That meeting was too sacred for a st r anger’s eye to witness, and so I si lently stole away and left them; the strong man shaken with emotion, wife and child sobbing upon his breast, and granny, with her “bairn” tenderly clasped in her arms, smiling npon the group in placid, sweet content.— Frank Leslie's. The Frugal Greeks. The Greeks are the most frugal and temperate people of Europe. Gluttony and drunkenness are rare vices among them. Their diet is such as it was two thousand years ago. They eat little meat; barley bread, goats’ cheese, or black dried olives and wine make up a bountiful repast. Bread and wine, or bread and leek«, form many a man’s din ner. Ouragoyiatis munched raw beans with evident relish as his luncheon. Maize is cultivated in some parts of the country, and is imported from Italy; but I never saw it properly treated—it is generally eaten half-cooked. A large number of herbs are boiled as “greens,” and used in salads. Salt fish is prepared in some districts. Salt is a government monopoly and is very brown. Olive oil serves as butter, cream, lard and suet. The food is generally too oily for an Araericaan. Honey is often used (as in ancient times) instead of sugar. Sweet milk is little used, but many prepara tions of curds are common; curds and sugar are made into a toothsome dish. There are many varieties ot Greek wine, but almost all are strong and fiery, and are tempered with water when they are drank. Wine costs only a trifle (about eight cents per quart of excellent quali ty), but is seldom taken in excess. But the Greeks are not without their dainties. Rice is much used with meat gravy, making an excellent pilaff. Chopped meat is rolled into croquettes, wrapped in young vine leaves, and fried. The best olives are much richer and higher flavored than those sold in Amer ica. Rich sweetmeats are prepared from quinces and other fruit. The offer of some sweetmeats is often among the first attentions paid to a guest. A delightful drink is made from the milk of the green almond. The lukumi is hardly equaled by any of our confection ery. In this connection, perhaps, I should mention the Greek tobacco, which is cheap and mild, and has a line flavor. — Scribner's Magazine. A Peculiar West Indian Malady. The natives of Jamaica are subject to a horrible skin disease called the “Yaws,” supposed by many physicians, says the New York Observer, to be iden tical with leprosy; others think it is a scrofulous affection, and say that it is only communicated by contact, not being infectious. However that may be, it is loathsome in the extreme, for the joints swell, and turn white, and portions of the limbs decay and drop off, the poor victim looks ashy and gray, and lias a morbid appetite, often eating dirt and clay. It is said not to be very painful, and, strange to say, those who have it, often live to extreme age, though they rarely recover entirely. In Kingston, | the numerous and pertinacious beggars are often these poor crippled wretches, j and so disgusting in their appearance that the most close listed individual would gladly pay a trifle to be rid of them. It seems to be confined to the natives, for I never heard of a white man having it. I suppose it is in some de gree hereditary, and no doubt the lack of cleanliness and habits of diet con duce to it also. MONOSYLLABLES. Ifine be the forte ©f words that tax the tongue But once to speak them full and round and clea*. They suit the speech or song and suit the ear, take bells that give one tone when they are rung; Dr bird notes on the air, like raindrops flung, That pour tbeir joy for all who pause to rear. Their short, quick chords the dull sense eharm and cheer, rhat tires and shrink* from words to great length strung. Strong words, of old, that shot right to the brain And hit the heart as soon were brief and terse. Who finds them now, and fits them to his sling, Smooth stones from brooks of English are bis gain, Which shall make strong his thought in prose or verse, Wills he with scribes to write or bards t* sing. —Tlarper s Magazine. HUMOR OF THE DAY. • A woman who always makes the train —The dressmaker. If all things are well that end well, how about the hornet? “No,” said the butter ball; “these are not hard times with me.” Always “at par:” Ma, when pa stays out too late at the lodge. A silent partner is all right when ht doesn’t want to have the whole say. When you lend anybody your fan, yoq give them a sort of palm leaf to use it. Some men are good because goodness pays best, and then, again, some are good for nothing. It is difficult for a sailor to make a tiller of the soil. He can make it of wood, though. Mrs. Bernard Beere, the eminent actress, is coming to America, but not in a schooner, as has been alleged. It is a lack of artistic taste and feeling that prompts an old man with red whiskers to wear a jet-black wig. If one’s creditors are adamant, sum mer ought to be a good time to ask fa vors, for all are in a melting mood. “Yes, sir, I’ve walked where formerly I rode, and I’ve saved enough money by the operation to have my shoes resoled.” —jXew York News. Mrs. Jenks (at dinner) —“Would you like some of this oyster-plant, Mr. Brim?” Prim—“No, thank you; I’m a strict vegetarian. ” — Life. Some one has asked: “Wheredo flies go in winter?” We don’t know, but we wish they would go there in summer.— Baltimore Am rican. Blobson—“Don’t yon think that Dempsey rather plays the fool?” Popin jay— “No. sir; 1 think that he works at the job.”— Burling on Free Press. I Street Lady—“ Will you spend the summer in Washington, Mrs. Hardup ?” Mrs. H. —“I suppose so. It’s all I’vt got to spend.”— Washington Critic. Customer (getting his hair cut) — “Didn’t you nip oil a piece of the ear then?” Barber (reassuringly)—“Yes, sir, a small piece, but not ’nough to af fect the hearin’, sir.”— Siftings. A Lucid Explanation: Teacher (to class) —“In this stanza what is meant by the line, ‘The shades of night were fall ing fast ?’ ” Bright Scholar—“ The peo ple were pulling down thj blinds.” Maude (before the laughing hyena’s cage) —“How mean! Here we've been twenty minutes and the hyena hasn't laughed once!” Ella—“Strange,and he’s been eyeing your new hat, too i ” — -Time. “Talk of mothers-in-law and sons-in law not agreeing,” remarked Titmarsh. “My mother-in-law and I agree. She says I ought not to have married her daughter, and I coincide with her.”— Mercury. “This butter is really offensive to the smell,” observed the twc-dollar-and-a half boarder. “Well, what’s that got t’o do with it;” remarked the landlady. “Sensible folks eat butter and don’t smell it.” Bishop (on his semi-annual round) — “And do you remember me Bobby?” Bobby—“Oh, yes, sir; you are the gentle man ma scolded pa about because you smoked in the parlor and nearly ruined the curtains.” — Epoch. A little girl in Lewiston, Me., who was ill the other evening, called her mother to her bedside and said piteously: “Mamma, I am awful sick; I just swal lowed upward,” and her mamma sympa thized with her. — New York News. Agent —“Madam, can’t you induce your husband to take out a life insurance policy for SIO,OOO in your benefit?” Madam —“ I’ll try; but I have my doubts about the benefits. Johu’s got the con stitution of an ox.”— Harper's Bazaar. There was a tramp, a graceless scamp, of cheek he had a lot; he stole each meal, and once did squeal: “A cucum ber I’ve got!” But in the night be woke in flight and anguish sad to see; he roared in pain, then did exclaim: “That cucumber’s got me!” She wanted to take lessons in archery, but was very, very verdent. “Have you a bow and quiver?” asked the teacher. “Ye—ye—yes,” she hesitated, “ l have a beau, but I haven’t a quiver any more. He’s been coming for two months now, and I’m used to it.” — Was'u/<g‘on Critic. Down in Marblehead harbor the other day “the fleet lay moored.” A couple of old fishermen were sculling about and chanced to look up just in time to spell out the gold letters on the stern of one of the yachts: “P-s-y-c-he! Well, if that ain’t the funniest way to spell fish.” —Baton Herald. “ At an agricultural meeting the other day ‘The Best way to Keep Girls on the harm’ was discussed. No conclusion was reached, but we think a barb wire fence six feet high, minu9 gate*, sur rounding the farm, would solve the prob lem. A boy takes his life in his hand when he attempts to crawl over or under or through a barbed wire fence, and he doesn’t wear a bustle, either. —Norris lo cn Herald. Flowers, wrote Goethe, are the beau tiful hieroglyphics of nature, with which she indicates how much she loves us.