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Ijmlc Cotmiii cir.'i. * > I TRENTON, GEORGIA. Chicago is the fifth Scandinavian city in the world, and Minneapolis the sixth. The total vote of these United States at the Presidential election of 18-1! was 10,051,854. This year it should reach close to 12,00(1,000. Belva Lockwood, the Presidential candidate of the Equal Rights party, is going to stump the States, and will charge an admission fee to her meet ings. In Brazil some of the Senators hold their term for life. One of them lias not shown himself in the Senate for forty years, and there is now due him a back salary of $900,000. A splendid mine of molybdenum, a metal more previous than silver, has been found in the Cascade Mountains, near Tacoma, Washington Territory. It is worth $50,000 per ton. Twenty-six members of the United Presbyterian Church at Bellevue, Pa., who favor the use of unfermented wine in the sacrament, have withdrawn and organized a church of their own. The body of a Parisian dude was feund in the River Seine a few days ago. The young fellow was dres-ed in the latest fashion, and round his heart he had tattooed lliese words: ‘‘Tout pour Janne Granler" —All for Jeanne Granier. A telephone has been fitted up between the Hospice on the Great St. Bernard of the Swiss Alps and the valley below, and the monks are now informed when travelers start to ascend the pass. If they do not appear within a proper time servants are sent to meet them. Statistics show that about 000,000 are invested in the hotel business in New York State; that the hotels employ over seventy-five thousand persons, and that they entertain eighty-seven thousand guests daily, at an average expense of SIOO,OOO a day for supplies alone. “There are,” says the New York Tri- Ininc, “about twice as many women as men in Yucatan, notwithstanding which fact the whole social system of the coun try seeni3 to bs constructed for the espe cial benefit of the masculine third of tlm community. N. B.— The men made it.” It is unquestionable that the straw or felt hats worn by American men during the summer is an insufficient protection against extreme heat. Sunstroke is al most unknown among the natives of Eastern countries. The coiled turban upon the head aud the general use of umbrellas are protection which people who live in American cities do not realize. For quickness in raising money for business enterprises Hutchinson, Kan., seems to outrank some of the large cities. They called a meeting out there for such a purpose, and, after the hall was filled, locked the door. A local paiter tells that work then began, and in just one hour and fifteen minutes the -3um of $221,000 was subscribed. Sable Island, on the coast of Nova Scotia, is gradually disappearing, and in a few years more will be totally sub merged. During one gale in 1881 a strip of land seventy feet wide and a quarter of a mile long was washed away. In 1775 the island was forty miles long and two and a half miles wide. It is now only nineteen and a half miles long and less than a mile wide. It is now possible to travel from Lon don to Samarcand, in Central Assia, by rail and steamboat in eight days u and twenty-two hours. It was not very long ago that a European was unable to visit Samarcand at all without incurring great risk of being ki led, and until the build ing of the Trans-Caspian Railroad the best time that could be made between St. Petersburg and Samarcand was one month. On April 20th, when off the Westmn.n Islands, Iceland,the captain of the Danish mail steamer Laura threw overboard a let ter written in Danish. On Alay Gtli the let ter was found in the stomach of a cod caught by a French fisherman off Reyk jan cs, about 120 miles distant. The man showed it to the French Consul at Reykjavik, who submitted it to the cap tain of the Lauta. It was much decom posed, but still readable. The danger of somnambulism is well known. A writer in the Century tells of a piece of good fortune coming from the habit. A young lady, troubled and anxious about a prize for which she was to compete, involving the writing of an essay, arose from her bed in sleep and wrote a paper upon a subject upon which she had not intended to write when awake, and this essay secured for her the prize. If all present indications hold, the eorn crop will this year amount to 2,000- 000,000 of bushels, which is 700,000,000 of bushels more than last year and 400- 000,000 of bushels more than has been ccounted heretofore an abundantly pros perous harvest. A list of defalcations by the fiscal officers of States, cities and commercial corporations and firms for 1881, shows an aggregate of over $22,000,000. None of it is credited to New Orleans. A list for the first six months of 1888, as made ip by the New York If raid, foots up a total of something less than $0,000,000. This is the gentlemanly way of stealing. Many of these eminent financiers are living abroad on the fruits of their skill. ______ Admiral Lord Alcester, in a recent speech in London, made some remarks concerning the British ship builders and gun makers which have occasioned much dissatisfaction. He asserted that the British navy was much behind its neighbors in the quality of its cruisers and in the number of its modern guns. He said that two of the latest additions to the French navy (the Tage and the Cecilie) were the most dangerous vessels to an enemy’s commerce that had ever been launched, and that the French were building three more. England, says the New York llerald. has now many attractions to present to the stranger in the shape of cathedrals alone. Restorations and completions hive been going on f >r many years, and much of the domestic wealth of the country has found an outlet in church decoration and church architecture. One of the grandest of the old buildings was Bristol Cathedral, dating as fai back as 1142 and partially rebuilt in the fourteenth and sixteenth centuries. The work of restoration, begun some years ago, has just been completed at a cost ot $490,000. Bishop Ellieott points to the completed work and its cost as proof of the attachment of the people of England to the Established Church. Ten miles of new railway have just been completed in Persa and the coun try stands breathless with admiration over them. The building of the little road is probably destined to be a famous reminiscence in engineering history. This is how it was done: Ttie Shah de termined to build a railway from Te heran, his capital, to the Caspian Sea. Instead of beginning at the seacoast and bringing forward the rails and materials on the road as it progressed, he ha l all the construction material carried on mules across the desert to Teheran and began there. Of the total cost thus far —5500,000 —5.25,000 has been for trans portation expenses, and the engineering journals of the world are laughing over it in all languages. .. ■ (l The “City Directory” for 1883 esti mates the population of New York City at 1,670,140. This is, according u> the same authority, 100,000 more soift? than this city contained a year ago. When Brooklyn's three-quarters of a million are added and a fair allowance is made for the population of suburban New York in Westchester County and New .Jersey, it will be found, the Epoch thinks, that the Metropolitan district contains a popu lation but little short of 3,000,000 souls. It is estimated that the day population of New York City exceeds by 400,000 that to which it affords sleeping room, md this is perhaps as good an illustra tion as could be had of the enormous ag gregate of people to whom the city is the center of business and the source of live lihood. Here is the ridiculous way in*which a German cyclopedia, recently published in Leipsic, describes the social life of a large city in Eastern New York: “After dinner the gentlemen at the reception followed the ladies to the salon and lighted their cigars. Those who did not smoke chewed and spat quite reck lessly on the floor. Many who did not use tobacco, took small knives from their pockets, for an American gentle man always carries some kind of knife, and car - ed or cut slivers from the chairs; almost all of them put their feet on ta bles or chairs. This behavior, which would insult our German ladies, the many beautiful American ladies in the room regarded as a matter of course, much to the astonishment of the writer.” The St. Louis Globe-Democrat says that periodic recurrence of emotions and pas sions appear not only in the life of indi viduals, but in the life of peoples. The Coreans inherit a tendency to abhor foreigners, and pe: Radically to kill or drive them out of tne land. An outbreak of the sort is anticipated at the present time. All the foreign consulates are guarded by soldiers, and an American man-of-war has gone to assist as far as possible. Hatred of .Jews is an European inheritance,and about twice in a century an outbieak of a murderous sort may be looked for. It is not coniined to the rabble, but covers the educated and upper classes. These things are un reasonable and unreasoning. They are in the blood of liered ty, and are purely emotional, rising to frenzy at times. The average white American has an emotional dislike for colored people. after many days. tdo not ask remembrance iu your hour 3 Busy and full, Bearing such gifts to others, rich in powers For use and rule. Check not the current of your life, that breaks Joyous and strong. To hearken where some haunting memory speaks Like a sad song. But when the dusk is creeping, and the dew Lies on the hill,_ When the first star is trembling through the blue, Remote- and sti 1. When from the lilPs steals a breath so faint It thrills like pain, And, hushing into peace Day’s long com plftint, Night falls again; O then one moment be the Present fled, And that sweet summer that so strangely led In one our ways; When I was yours in every pu'.sa and thought And you, too, seemed To give back something of the gift I brought, Or so 1 dreamed! And know that as it then was with mo, Sweet, So is it still; That a life’s love is waiting at your fast, Whene'er you will. — MacMillan's Mayas ine. OLD BRIL BY LUCY BLAKE. The Battle of the Flowers, the first act in the Carnival drama at Nice, wa. at its height. Not entirely a bloodless batt;e, as Harry I rescott’s nose testified, hit by the stem end of a bunch of box and bedraggled gilly-fiower. Saucy, audacious Lady Carriston held her handkerchief to one eye, but the other was wickedly unabashed as usual, and she seemed in a fair way to avenge her injuries by the vigor with which site sent volleys of stocks, hyacinth and narcissus pe’e-mele into the passing carri ages, the crowd, the tribune, and even into the lespectable midst of the muni cipal jury. In the crowded tribune, lavishly deco rated with red calico, garlands, and the flags of all nations, a thin young man, with a grand pro le, sat with a half emptied basket of pale Farma violets on h s knees. In the long procession of gayly adorned carr ages, lie had eyes for one only, a dainty little Victoria trans formed into a fragrant bower of mimosa and mauve hyacinths. It enshrined an elderly lady and an exceedingly pretty g,rl in white cashmere and pale gray fur, the latter tossing her bouquets, and avoiding the strokes of those thrown en revanche , with charming grace and vi vacty. Although her aim was no surer than that of most of her sex, many of her j ansies found their way into the garrison ot the young man with the lamed nose, pe.cciving which, he, with ecstatic de.ight, squandered more than one gold piece upon roses and violets with which he raked the Victoriafore and aft. As a farewell burst of music, and a cold wind creeping up from the sea, an nounced that the revel was over, Mr. Sydney Neal, of the statuesque features, was in a state of mind to feel no aston ishment had a rosy cloud descended to wh sk his goddess away to her native Elysian fields. As she seemed about to take her departure from the promenade like ordinary mortals, Mr. Neal collared a gamin picking up bouquets from un der the horses’ h|~is, aud bade him fol low the Victoriawfit of the throng, and report the hotel at which it set down its precious freight. “Avenue Victor Hugo, No. 53,” an nounced the young waif, half an hour later, his eyes big as saucers at th • un usual sight of a live-franc piece in his grimy palm. The Misses Bynner. plain, elderly, aud eminently prudent in deportment and style of dress, cudgeled their well balanced brains for the next th.ee day's to understand why a well-dressed, dis tinguished-looking young gentleman fo .nd the contemplation of their garden and front windows so particularly en grossing. Alas! for the carelessness of street Arabs the world over—this young valetof Mr. Neal s selection had followed home the wrong carriage; a discovery which plunged that gentleman into the deepest despair. Doubtless, while he was making a fool of himself staring the Bynner establishment out of coun tenance, his diviniiy had spread her wings and vanished to parts unknown, * Sjc =* * * * “Aunt Helen, let us do the Corniche Road to-morrow if it is fine ’’ said Miss Margery Moore, the object of Mr Neal’s intemperate admiration. “Oh, Margery, dear, not during Carnival week! You have no idea of what prices these rascally com hmen ask now% and such tricks they play upon us poor foreigners. Carnival time excuses everything, you know. Why, j ady Bellaby told me her donkey-man made her pay double fare for going up Monte Fabbro, and then winked at the donkey and made him lie down till she promised to pay three francs pourboire to have him encouraged to get up. Everybody says it is very imprudent to go anywhere till next week.” “People always have a great deal too much to say about affairs not their own, and Lady Bellaby is always fiounderiug among breakers where other people find only smooth sailing,” replied Miss Moore, with decision. “Procrastination is such a mistake; we have put off th s trip do ens of times, and I mean to go to-morrow or never.” “V ery well; if you insist we will go, but I think it very imprudent lor two lad : e3 alone to take such a trip during the one lawless week of the year.” ******* Mr. Sydney Neal,feeling that a canter over the hills in the delicious February, sunshine might calm his troubled spirits, betook himself to the remise of Aristide Joiicceur <fc to engage a horse. At the door of this establishment, patronized by the elite of Xice ; Mr. Neal became aware of a furious palpitation of his heart and a sudden weakness at his knees. Issuing forth from the a>stheti cally furnished saile d’attente he buheld the vision of his dreams, his goddess Flora, with a great bunch of carnations in one hand and a paiasol in th« other. She gave Mr. Neal a swift,comprehensive glance which seemed to the credulous young man to speak volumes; site re membered him, and was glad that fate brought them together again, if only for a brief moment. “Remember, 10 o’clock promptly, to morrow morning. .Monsieur Joiic • ur,” said the young lady, as she stepped out into the bright snushine. “Without fail, madam; you may always trust the promises of Aristide Jolic i ur, your humble sen ant,’’'replied the horsey Adonis, with his hand on Ins stomach and a ravishing smile tilting up the ends of his wax mustache. “Ah! these American ladies: they are indeed angels of loveliness,” the pioprietor con tinued, as .Miss A. oore and her companion" disappeared through the massive :■ tone gateway. “Such grace, such cqirit, and so well-bred! None of the petty bick erng over a fair price that people of other nations permit themselves.” This eutogy was uttered for Mr. Neal's benefit, whom the master of the remise regarded with benignant suavity/know ing that he had egregiously cheated two of the handsome young stranger’s countrywomen, and scenting further prey in this third representative of the ri h republic. “These ladies, Madame Lee and her charming niece, are go ng to drive to Mentone to morrow, over the Corniehe Road.; I hope they will have a fine day. Paolo shall take them over by the lower road, and return by the Col du Tigre. There is stdl snow tip the e , butto morrow’ssun will malt it, and it will be safe enough for the return tiip." “You arc a garrulous, specious old rascal,” Mr. Neal concluded, men tail;; “but I’m immensely obliged to you lor your information.” Then, alter agree ing to an extortiona'e price for his horse the following day, betook his departure in the wake of the fair bearer of the car nations. The next morning, at ten o’clock sharp, a roomy barouche drawn by a well-con ditioned pair of white horses drew up before the Hotel des Palmiers. A digni fied-looking old coachman occupied the box, wi h a ten-vear-old boy humbly ensconced among the horse-blankets at his feet. Mrs. 1 ee and Miss Moore made them selves thoroughly comfortable in this vehicle, and set off upon their drive over the magnificent highway, for the build ing of which the world owes a lasting debt of gratitude to the Corsican hero. The girl’s eyes and cheeks glowed with this purest, most healthful of pleasures —the enjoyment of an exqu site, varying landscape seen for the first time. The angry, volcanic crags peering over into the placid, deep-blue sea; the silvery pallor of the olives contrasting with the dark, polished green of the fig-trees; the daring sweeps of the road leading along the stony spine of the mountains. Quaint little villages clinging like a collection of wasp's uesls to the rocks; vehicles of all sorts, picturesque and elegant, passing to and fro. Here, a tiny, tinkling donkey laden with green and yellow crockery jars; there, the four-horse break whisking its load of cur ous strangers over to taste the fasci nations of Monte Carlo. At the first descent of any importance Jeannot, the little boy, jumped down from the box and applied a primitive but effective drag to the wheels—a pair of old shoes t : ed to stout ropes. “I believed that young person was brought along solely for ornament; I see now that 1 was m staken,” said Mar gery, with a gay laugh at the shocking ly bad old shoes. It was so easy to laugh this brilliant, invigorating morn i°g- * After luncheon at Mentone, iu a pretty garden close to the sea, they began the homeward journey over the highest part of the road so appropriately named, clinging to the serrated rotk as a cornice follows the irregularities of a dmtated roof. Always higher, past the vil.age of Rocca Bruna, said to have slipped down en masse from a plateau above to its present position. Past Esa, with its melancholy cluster of de erted cottages. Here and there the ruins of a fortress perched proudly aloft as an eagle's nest. At La Turbie, the tower built ages ago for the worship of Jupiter, Jeannot clambered down again, and. pulling off: his cap. loosening at the same time a crop of glossy, dark curls, bade the ladies good-night. Here, a branch road led away from the sea, over the Col du Tigre, with a view over a white world of snowy mountains. Though carefully mended and kept, after the manner of all French roads, t is branch was rarely used except for return carriages to Nice, the slope being a long, steep pull lor up ward bound horses. The dusk and quiet of evening became very impressive among these silent heights, aud Margery drew closer to her aunt in vntjue distrust of the deepening shadows. Patches of half-melted snow began to appear on each side of the way; not a living creature was in sight, or sound audible, save for the occasional whirr of a bird’s wings. * ¥ * * * * Alas! for Mr. Neal’s plan for a canter over to Mentone as d screet outrider to the object of liis silent devotion, Miss Margery Moore. The horse promised him for the occasion wa< brought home lame, and owing to the press of the Cain vat season, another animal such as Mr. Neal required was not forthcoming. “A power o’ worrit with bosses and men just now,” sa : d the English hostler at the Joliccur stables, in reply to Mr. Neal’s strong language when he found Ins plan defeated. " “1 would not be sur prised if the padrone sent out old Brix with a fare after all.” “Who the deuce is old Brix?” “The best driver in the whole Mari time Alps region,but he is getting pretty old now. He has driven over the road between Nice and Mentone for a mutter of forty years or more, aud knows every inch of the way as well as he knows the inside of his snuff-box. He is still safe as a church, but there is a kind of prejudice against him because since the past five years he has been stone blind.” “Rather a drawback in a Jehu, particu larly if his horses happened to be frisky.” “If I was a party of fidgety old women,” continued Mr. Toggery, with solemn emphasis, “i would rather trust myself with old Brix, bl nd eyes and all, than with the uual half-tipsy rogue who tells a pack of lies about the locality, and goes to sleep on the homestretch—but you can't make those old women think so.” “No, I fancy not.” assented Mr. Neal. “If you want a good horse, sir, you are sure to find one at. Martory; go them by train, ride across the valley and up over the Col du Tigre—it’s a pretty bit of country.” “I might meet her on the way home,” thought, Mr. Neal, as he took leave of Mr. Toggery and the remise. “I wish there were net so many holes and caves in tlie rocks, ’ said Margery; “they are such convenient hiding places for brigands.” “Try to think and talk of something u little more cheering, my dear,” said Mrs. Lee, whose mantle of timidity seemed tu have fallen on A argery’s shoulders. At that mome.it there was a sudden roar like thunder, and a huge piece ot rock, dislodged from the mountain above, came crashing down upon the road. It stopped not fifty yards ahead of the carriage, malt ng a formidable barrier where the space was too narrow to turn back wilh safety. Tiie ladies screamed, the 'frightened horses hung back trembling and re-t ve, while the old man urged them forwards close upon the great block of stone. “Margery, is the old fellow mad' He seems to be trying deliberately to upset us!” said Mrs. Lee, half under her breath. “Mop! stop! not a step further, ot you will have us all over the precipice .’ 1 cried Margery, seizing the coa hmau's arm. Never 111 the day of their death will those two women forget the horrified ex pression of that white-haired old manat Le turned h.s face toward them, anti said, in awestruck tones: “Ala lame, for t od's sake tell me what to do; lam stone blind, and I cannot sec the danger before us. The good Lord forgive me for r.sking your lives.’ It was indeed a trying situation; to advance was impossible, and to turn back a great danger for a blind man and two frightened women. >o human being nor habitation wa; in sight: darkness was descending, and help hardly passible from other carriages at so late an hour. “Oh, that 1 had been willing to stay quietly at homo during carnival week?” cried Margery, dolefully. “llow dared you run such a great risk in undertaking to drive us down the mountain when you cannot see an inen before your lace:’ asked Airs. Lee, in dignantly, of the now abject old man. “Lady. I earnestly beg your pardon, undeserving though 1 am. The fuu.tis all mine, monsieur • oliorur is not to blame. My giandson, Paolo, was to have driven you over to Aientoue, but last night a gentleman ottered him twenty Lancs to go to Cannes, instead. Paolo had a dream last week that No. 303 would win the prize in the Marsac lottery; twenty francs was reeded to buy the series containing No. 30J. 1 aolo let himself be tempted; but I’m worse than he—l, with my white hairs, who ought to be telling my beads m a corner, in stead of driving over the hills as I used to long ago. But Signoia mia, the de light of feeling the reins in my hands ag.t n, and the fresh wind blowing in my face.” “So you let Paolo go to Cannes and you risked our lives tor a paltry twenty francs —for one of those iniquitous lot teries, too!” exclaimed Airs. Lee. “Yes, madnme; I’m a very wicked old man. Paolo drove away from the Joticcrcr remise this morning, with this carriage; on the way to your hotel! took his place, with tittle Jeannot to guide me. Tne road after La Turbie is usually safe and quiet as a country lane, sol let Jeannot off there, as his mother is ill in a cottage near by. These horses and 1 have steady kea Is, and are at home on these roads. Ah, me! old Brix, the king of drivers on the Riviera, has lost his crown now, and proved himself an o d rascal. But, inadame, the demand for men was great; these Carnival days make fools or villains of us al. * I have never piaved the rogue before, and the biessed Madonna helping me, I will not do it agam.” “In the meantime we are to stay here on the mouuta.n to-night, catching our death of cold, if no worse fate overtakes us,” said Margery, hopelessly. “Is not that the sound ot a horse’s hoofs f” suddenly interrupted old Brix, whose ears were sharper tnan those of people blessed with sight. Tne old man was rignt, and presently a horsemau was seen approaching at a spanking pace r und the brow of the hul. It was Sydney Neal, who had ridden across the valley as Air. Toggery had advised, and by inquiring at La Turbie, had followed the carriage, in stead of coming to meet it, as he had at first planned. Margery sprang forward to meet him with u welcome us eager as if he had been an old and valued friend for years. Afterward only, rhe blushed a little at the memory of how she had seLed his arm »\ith both her hands, and begged him to contrive some means of rescue. W ith a man’s nerve, cool head aud fortunately sharp eyes, it was no very difficult matter to unharness the horses, turn the carriage round, by the united efforts of theiompany, rehurness ond go back to the first comfortable lodging fot the night. 3fC X * * * '* Thanks to the intervention of the big stone, Sydney Neal was enaoled to as sume in one short hour the role he so coveted, that of protector and friend, to the beautiful girl he had learned to love. Old Brix escaped the punishment h< deserved, nay, worse, Neal was weakly indulgent enough to send the old fellow a favor, to wear at his wedding with Mar gery, three mouths later.— f rank Leslie, A Freak of Nature. The Cincinnati Enquirer is responsible for the following story from Stoverton, Ohio: “A most remarkable freak oi nature is reported from the farm oi George Sevingle, who lives near this place. He has among a flock of sheep a lamb over two months old which has the nose and feet of a dog, but is in all other respects a sheep. Instead'of hav ing the ordinary teeth of the sheep-kind the animal’s mouth, both upper and lower jaws, is filled with long aud sharp wolf-like fangs, rendering it extremely difficult to pick grass like the other sheep, consequently it prefers to chew and masticate twigs anil shrubs. It is regarded as one of the greatest curiosi ties ever seen in this neighborhood.” We all grumble at the shortness ot time, but we should scorn to look at the functionary who would offer to give ui six months. —Boston Commonwealth. THE TWO ARCHERS, Upon the hills above the heights Of life two archers stand; One like an angel seeming bright, The other dark and grand. Fir-t the bright angel bends his bow— 'l hough wounded, still the victim lives; Blinded, Ills wound he doth not know, But loves the pain it gives. Then the dark angel, soon or late, Dcth with his strong arm bend his bow; Swift speeds his arrow, like to fate, And ends the mortal’s woe. These are the archers high above 'ihe tides of mortal life and breath—» The cruel angel archer, Love, The pitying angel, Death. —Philadelphia News, UU3IOR of the hay. Hard to beat —A wet carpet. Sic tran-it—Crossing the ocean. The cream of society—lce cream. A stitch in one’s side never seams good. A girl’s “yes” generally has the genu ine ring. Toot terrible—The blast of the ama teur cornet player. Lack of opportunity to steal is a pro lific ease of honesty. No use before broke—A horse. No use after broke—A man. There is some quiet activity but very little bustle about the dress-reform move ment. , Definition of a secret—“ Something for one, enough for two, nothing for three.” The broker who tries to keep “in the sw m” has to water his stock to a large extent. Coffee is going up and down so much in the market it has good grounds for being riled. The cannon is like a fashionable woman, inasmuch as it is accustomed to powder and balls. Single misfortunes seldom come alone, and the greatest is generally accom panied by a sti! i greater. An electric bout was recently launched in New York harbor, presumably off the Battery. —New J.ao<n News. Young physicians are often angry. At least, they are sometimes found out of patients. —Nashville Ameri an. “Did he eject you?” “No. I w nldn’t ’ve minded mild treatment of that sort, lie kicked me out.”— New York Hun. A woman may refuse to tell her age, but she cannot conceal her rage. That speaks for itself.— Norristown Herald. Alother—“Come here, child: I’ll sew the buttons on myself.” Fanny—“l’d rather have them sewed on the boot.” One swallow does not make a summer —of course not; but one summer makes an immense amount of swallowing.— Picayun^. Suggestion to the theatrical manager —Go to Castle Garden for your Roman soldiers; a broth of a boy ought to make i good stipe. Talk about the meanness of murder ing a man for SSO. We know a small boy that struck his mother for a dime.— New York Sun. You can’t always judge of the quality of a city’s inhabitants by the “sample men” it sends over the country. — Pitts burq Cironic!e. The inventor of the barbed wire fence got his idea from the autograph of a Russian Prince traveling iu this country. ■—New York S n. Teacher (to class) —“Why is procrasti nation called the thief of time?” Boy (at foot of cla-s) —“Because it takes a person so long to say it.”— Life. The milkmaid known in former days, If plain was not unbearable, And often won the poet’s praise; But the milk made now is terrible! —Jacksonville Citizen. “A man can’t be everything; his lordship is a man of quality, not of quantity,” said a wit of the third Earl of Aberdeen on his making a false quan tity. A grocer over in Bloomington is sup posed to be the honestest man in world. He chases the flies off the beam of his scales before he allows them to balance. Mercury. The meanest man so far on record lives in New Haven. His wife asked him to give her a pet, some animal that would stick by her, and the next even ing he brought home a leech. Airs. Truthseeker—'“John, dear, I read of them making a lot of fish plates for railroad ‘tracks. What kind of fish do they use there?” Mr. T.— “What kind of fish? Guess it’s pike.” Graphic. Jack Ilardup (who always forgets to repay) —“I say, old fellow, lend me sl, will you? I have nothing but a large bill in my pocket.” Friend (who has been caught before) —“Whose is it, youi tailor’s? ’ — Lite. “Reviled crabs?” said the horrified waiter at a Lake Chautauqua eating house. “Oh, dear, no! We couldn’t give you anything of that kind, sir! Won’t you have some angel cake in stead ?” — Ch ic kjo Tribune. We are told in a poem that “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” This is, no doubt, a pretty sentiment; but the author ought to know that about eight women out of ten rock the cradle with their feet. — Mercury. Nothing else is so calculated to work on a man’s sympathies as the sight of a young man’s painful effort at unconcern while he is scratching his hr >w with the hand with which he would have tipped his hat to a young lady if she hadn’t cut him dead.— Judye, “ Mamma,” said a young lady, “what would be an appropriate present to give George. You know we are not engaged yet ?” “ How long has he been calling upon you?” “ About two years.” I think a pretty plain hint will be tne proper thing to give him.” —New York News. Such an affable man! I was glad we had met, For he made a short hoar most pleasant, He 3poke in a way I shall never forget On questions concerning the present. His opinions suited my own to a T; 1 regretted that brief hour's durance When my coat by the buttons he took, aud he said: “ Are you carrying any insurance?” '—Omaha Herald,