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TRENTON, GEORGIA.
There arc 7,000,000 children of school
mge in the United States who are not
reached by the influence of the Sunday
school.
One of the odd features of our natural
ization laws is that an army officer need
not be a citizen, but a naval officer
must be.
A number of influential papers in this
country want the United stares to bay
Cuba if it can be had peacefully and for
$100,000,000.
The rainy season in India failed to
arrive on time this year, and there has
been a drought and much suffering,
while the crops are believed to be seri
ously damaged.
The first things taught Alaskan chil
dren are dancing, shooting the bow and
arrow and smoking. It is a common
thing to see a mother take the child
from her arms and give it her pipe.
There are three American ladies who
are not obliged to purchase stamps. Mrs.
Polk, Mrs. Garfield and Mrs. Grant are
the fortunate three, the Government
having given them the franking pri
vilege.
A British vessel is now surveying a
rouie between Australia and Canada,
preliminary to lying a telegraph cable.
The cable will be 7500 miles long, and
the work of lying it will take three
years.
Certain public-spirited citizens of
Tlauepantla, Mexico, have built at their
own cost a handsome theatre there, and
given it to the town upon condition that
the net proceeds of all performances in
it shall go to the schools.
How many people know that the Leg
islature of Kansas years ago offered
SI,OOO to the first man who raised a fam
ily of thirteen children within the bord
ers of the State? Such is a fact, how
ever, asserts the New York Graphic.
Florida mourns the loss of the sweet
notes of Ihe mockingbird. Formerly
hundreds of them could be heard sins
ing, but their nests have been so
systematically broken up or robbed of
their young that they are rapidly dis
appearing.
It is officiary estimated that the losses
by fire in the United States and Canada
for the first six months of the present
year amount to the enormous total of
$'18,280,000, a sum far in excess of the
losses in corresponding periods of several
former years.
The best speech made at a recent*
ratification meeting at Spokane Falls,
Washington Territory, was that delivered
by Miss Florence Mollinelli, a young
actress. It was elegant and witty, and
pleased the people so much that they are
trying to induce her to stump the Terri
tory. _
In the traditions of the gentle Chip
pewas, -whose country this was, says the
New York Sun , there are hints of the
sun stone, as they called gold, and the
experts believe that under the deep
waters of Superior there lie veins of
prodigious wealth in gold, silver and
copper.
Who was the last man killed in the
war? This is not an easy question to
answer, but in the town of Union, Me.,
some of the people think it was Jacob
Sidelinger, of that town. He was killed
on the very day of Lee’s surrender to
General Grant, and in the latter part of
the day.
General Boulanger, on a pension of
SI6OO a year, pays $2400 a year Vent and
Spends SBO,OOO a year on himself and an
equal amount on the establishment of his
wife and two daughters at Versailles.
Now they say that Mackay, the Ameri
can millionaire, supplies him with the
extra cash.— Graphic.
A Pekin, (China) correspondent of the
New York Observer , describes the new
foreign college for the instruction of
Chinese youth in the English language
and foreign science as two stories high,
built around four sides of a court, 100
feet square. An astronomical observa
tory will be erected within the walls.
Model villages for manufacturing
operatives are cheerful products of the
time. The last experiment is Mr. Hart
ley’s village for 1400 operatives of the
jam factory at Liverpool. Great atten
tion is being paid to the picturesque
grouping of the buildings, and when
completed the village will have plenty of
garden and air >pace.
No Southern State, except Virginia, is
said to be represented in the old hall of
the House in the Capitol of Washington
by a statue of any of its historic men.
It is well known that Congress gave
permission to each State to send two such
statues to this famous hall, and that
most, if not all, of the Northern States
have gladly accepted the privilege.
THE SONG OF THE SCYTHE.
Far up on the mountain-side,
Where swiftly, like phantoms, glide
The clou 1-land shadows,
I hear a mower's scythe,
With a busy sound and blithe,
In the rocky meadows.
Hark!—on the breeze conveyed
The rhythmic rush of the blade,
By strong arms whirled!
It sings, in a rmlrnmrcus tone,
Of work to be bravely done
In this busy world.
Sometimes, with a janiling tone,
The bright blade strikes a stone,
But seems to cry:
“ Tis naught! Let the worries pass.
There needs must be stones in the grass
For all who try.”
Thus, wind-borne all day long
You may hear the scythe’s brave song
On the mountain farms.
But the mower little knows
Of the song that comes and goes
As he swings his arms.
—James Buckham , in Harper's Weekly.
A THE SEA.
When I got my rating as able seaman
I could have navigated a ship to any
part of the world. 1 did not enter upon
the occupation through force of circum
stances, but because I lo ed the sea. 1
had a fair education, steady habits, and
served my time with an uncle who was a
splendid sailor and a God-fearing man.
I should have been his mate after re
ceiving my rating, but he died while we
were loading ship, and the owners kept
me ashore for a couple of months to look
over papers and fix up accounts. Then
I could have had a berth as mate, but a
Strange notion had come over me. Several
Captains had been hauled up for abusing
their men, and 1 had been present at
the trials. My indignation was aroused
by the stories told by the men, and, en
couraged by half a dozen philanthropists,
I determined to become a sailor’s cham
pion. It was very silly, I now admit,
but at that time 1 earnestly believed it
was my mission. It was silly for one
man to hope to work a revolution. Had
a hundred champions set out, and been
backed by owners and courts, some
thing good might have come of it.
My first step was to procure the ma
rine laws of every country, with afl the
rules and regulations bearing upon
sailors’ rights. I was very particular in
securing definitions of the term mutiny,
and in reading laws concerning the
rights of sailors, to be quoted at length
before consuls in foreign ports. I had
the help of a lawyer in this work, and he
gave me many hints of value. When 11
was loaded and primed I stowed $ >OO in |
cash in my pocket and shipped aboai d
the brig Adventure, bound from Liver- j
pool to the West indies. This ship had
been recommended to me as a good one
to begin on, as the Captain had been ar
rested several times for cruelty, but al
ways escaped conviction through the in
fluence ot the owners and the per.ured
testimony of the mates. I was now 28
years of age, 5 feet 11 inches tall,
weighed 100 pounds, and was afraid of
no call on shipboard. I was stout as a
bull, a good boxer aud wrestler, and had
never seen a day’s sickness. As I tum
bled aboard the Adventure with half a
, dozen other sailors, I was determined to
do my lull duty as far as possibluuand to
obey all rules and regulation*!' to the
fullest extent. Before we were fairly
under way I saw that we were to have a
floating hell. The Captain was a hard
drinker and a brute, aud tne mates de
lighted to curse and abuse. Aboard of
imy uncle's ship sailors were treated like
men, aud drink and profanity were un
known. I was prepared for the change,
however, and let' nothing astonish me.
I exhibited my activity and willingness
in-getting away, aud before the watches
were set it must have been patent to the
officers that I was a thorough seaman.
This should have counted in my favor,
and it did fora little while. There is
always a leader in every crew. He not
only governs the forecastle, but he sets
the pace of the men, especially those in
his watch. If he is active and willing, j
the men will pattern after him to a cer
tain extent. If he is a growler and a lag
gard, his disposition will affect all. By
tacit consent I was made leader, and, to
the great surprise of some of the old
sailors, I informed them that 1 had come
aboard to do my full duty in a cheerful
manner, and that I wanted no growling
or shirking. This gave them the pace,
and yet it got me into trouble. The of
ficers could find no excuse for abusing
the crews, and were evidently troubled
over it. On the third day out, as I was
taking my trick at the wheel, I noticed
that both Captain aud first mate were in
ugly mood, having been drinking too
much. There wasn’t the si gh»es‘ excuse
for grumbling. We had a fair wind,
every sail was drawing, and everything
above and aloft was tidy and shipshape.
The watch on deck were all busy, and I
wondered what excuse the Captain could
invent for making a break. It was
evident that he was fishing for one, and
the mate was trying to help him. By
and by, after looking aloft, he roared
out:
“Mr. Morton, what lubber have you
got at the wheel? He is three points off
her course!”
“It’s ( astle, sir,” replied the mate.
The Captain turned and approached
the wheel, while the mate, knowing
that a row was coming, skulked forward.
I was steering as fine as silk, and as the
Captain looked into the binnac e he had
to admit it to himself. This doubtless
added fuel to his anger, for after a
minute he growled out:
“Blast you for a lubber, but how
dared you ship aboard as au able sea
man?”
“Because 1 am one, sir,” I quietly
answered.
“Oh. you are, eh? Perhaps you are a
navigator also?” he sneered.
“I can take this ship out and back,
sir,” I answered.
“The—the—deuce you can!” he hissed
after a moment. “If you arc a navigator,
what are you doing forward among the
men?”
“I shipped as an able seaman, sir, be
cause no other berth was open at the
time.”
“You are a cussed liar!” shouted the
enraged man. “You came aboard to
show off your smartness and make trou
ble. I’ve had an eye on you, and I’m
going to work up your old iron.”
He drew back to strike me, and I
locked him fair in the eyes anl said:
“Capt. Strong, if you strike me I shall
defend myselt.”
He held his arm ready fier a moment,
and then let it fall, seeming to realize
that he was in danger. Then it occurred
to him that he was being bluffed before
his mates, aud he shouted to the steward
to bring up his pistol. The weapon was
soon handed him, and he cocked it aud
turned it to me with:
“Now, then, you mutinous dog, get
down on your knees and beg for your
life.”
“Do you know what mutiny is?” I
asked of him, as quietly as possible.
“Mutiny is refusal to obey orders neces
sary for the working of the ship. If you
kill me, you will go to trial for cold
blooded murder.”
“W-what.” he gasped.
“And let me tell you something more,
Captain Strong. You and the mate are
the worse for liquor, as the whole crew
can testily. Your licenses can be re
voked for this. This morning you re
fused medicine to Brace, who is suffering
with cholera morbus. I can have r ou
fined or suspended for that. Have you
a medicine chest aboard, as required by
law? No. There is a line or suspension
for that. You have threatened my life
without excuse, as even your mates must
testify, aud I cau make vou stand trial for
it.”
I said all this in a low voice, and look
ing him full in the face while I kept the
brig on her course. His face grew the
color of liver, and then as white as
snow. He stood holding the pistol for
a moment after 1 had finished, and then
turned and walked to his cabin, where
the mate was soon summoned to counsel
with him. The men forward had caught
on, and half a dozen of them signalled
to me that they would stand by. I
shook my head. It was not a mutiny.
I, plain Jack Tar, had certain rights
which Captain Strong must respect. It
was a fight between us two. Before the
Captain reappeared I was relieved at
the wheel, and I went forward and armed*
myself with a revolver from my chest.
I also took the papers bearing on the
case and placed them in my bosom. Then
I urged the crew to stand aloof and let
me fight it out alone. I defined mutiny
until they under-tood thoroughly what
not to do. But there were only two or
three brave fellows in the lot; the others
had been hounded until they had no
sp rit left. They might have gone into*
mutiny, for even cojvards do that; but
when it came to standing up for their
rights they were curs.
The dack-watch were all at work when
the Captain came on deck again. He
had his pistol in his hand, and the mate
also had one, and the steward followed
them bearing several pairs of hand
cuffs.
‘Vail the men aft to witness punish
ment!” shouted the Captain, and at the
order of the mate all moved aft, while
the watch below came tumbling up.
When we had all assembled the Captain
pointed me out and said:
“Men, we have a dangerous fellow
aboard. He shipped to stir up mutiny
and get us all into trouble ashore.
Fortunately for all of us I have spotted
his game at this early date, and shall
now give him his just reward. Castle,
stand out.”
I stepped out in front of the men.
“Steward, put on the handcuffs.”
The steward advanced with a pair in
his hand, but I waved liim aside and
said:
“Captain Strong, you dare not put
those on me until 1 refuse to obey a
legitimate order concerning the care of
the ship. You have certain powers
under the laws of the high seas, but the
meanest sailor also has certain rights.”
He was lividrcvith passion, and it was
only after a grefrt effort that he said:
“I will have you triced up and flogged
to death! Steward put on the irons!”
But the steward dared come no nearer.
The Captain then ordered the crew to
seize me, but not a man moved. The
second mate was then ordered forward,
but he had the sense to keep his foot
out of it, and he replied:
“if Castle has the law, let’s hear it.
I’ve sailed twenty years without know
ing the rights of a sailor, and I want no
trouble in the courts.”
I saw Caata n and first mate look at
each other, and I prepared myself for a
rush. They were determined to do for
me, and as the Captain handed his pis
tol to the steward 1 ca led out :
“Men you are my witnes-es that Ihave
not refused to do duty or obey orders.
No Captain has a right to trice a man
up, and he can be put in irons only for
disobedience of legitimate orders. If
they lay hands on me it is at their peril.”
They came with a ru-h, both were
knocked off their feet inside of ten sec
onds. The ma’e was satified with that,
but the Captain came at me again, and
this time I give him all he wanted. Not
a man raised hand or voice, and I gave
the brute such a drubbing that he did
not get out of his cabin again for five
days. Then it was to signal an English
mati-of-war. We were boarded by an
officer. I was given in charge as a
mutineer, and four months later was put
on trial at Liverpool. I not only re
ceived a full aequital at the hands of the
jury, but was complimented on all sides,
and Captain and mate were both
suspended from duty for a
term. The affair raised a great talk,
| as may be supposed, and it was a seed
which could have been well planted. A
1 few sailors did profit by it to assert
their manhood for a time, but after a
little things went backward aud became
worse than ever. To-day, despite the
romance of poets and novelists, the
| average salt water sailor -s a cringing
j coward. The law gives him every right,
but he dares not stand up to a single
one. He has less personal independence
than a istute prison convi t.
My second voyage, which had to be
made under another name, as all cap
ta ns had been warned again-t me, was
from Liverpool to Ban Uiancisco, in the
| bark Enchantress. Just why Captain
and mates let me alone I never knew, for
others who did their duty as well were
grossly abused, but I was not even
threatened during the vcyage. Before
we had been a week out the mate broke a
man’s nose with a belaying pin. Next
day he cut open a man’s scalp in a terri
; bie manner. On the thi"d day the
j Captain knocked two men down, break
ing several teeth for one of them. The
second mate, a day or two later, kicked
a sailor in the side :nd broke two of
his ribs. When we an.ved at San Fran
cisco I took thirteen of the men, all of
whom had suffered personal violence and
three of whom had to go to the hospital,
and went before the English Consuk
He sent for the captain and mates, heard
their statements, and then dismissed us
with the threat of sending us to prison
if we made any further ado. I went to
the United States authorities, secured
the arrest of the officers, and the captain
was lined S4OO, the first mate *350, and
the second $250. And yet, on the return
voyage—which was with a new crew—
every man was beaten like a dog, and
the ship rent into Liverpool with half
the < rew unabie to pull a rope.
I made a third voyage before the mast
before taking a berth as first mate. This
was on the brig Good Intent, bound
from Plymouth to the Canary Islands.
We left port one man short, sirtiply to
save money for the owners. Our bread was
full of weevils and worms,and the pork so
tainted that an open barrel of‘it scented
the whole brig. We had not the boats
required by law, and we had no medi
cines aboard -»noi even a dose of salts.
Here were five derelictions which made
the master amenable to law. Within a
week the two first officers got so intoxi
cated that they could not take an obser
vation at noon, and for three days our
position was unknown to them. The
c aptain, while drunk, upset a lamp and
set the cabin on tire, and his chief officer,
while in the same condition, fell over
board and narrowly escaped drowning.
We forfeited our insurance no less than
three times, and for the last 300 miles
of our voyage we ran by sights, which I
took myself and worked out. There
wasn’t a day without its brutal treatment
of the men, two of whom were fired
upon by the Captain, and yet when we
finally made port not a sailor could I get
to join me in a legal statement. The
brig, cargo and all our lives were in con
stant menace, every right was denied to
us, and men were never more brutally
used; and yet the Captain and his mates
were permitted to escape without even a
complaint. —New York Sun.
WISE WORDS.
Be content; the sea hath fish enough.
Black plums may eat as sweet as
white.
Honor and profit do not alw T ays lie in
the same sack.
An evil intention perverts the best ac
tions and makes them sins.
A coxcomb is ugly all over with the
affectation of the fine gentleman.
The mill streams that turn the clap
pers of the world arise in solitary places.
The government of one’s self is the
only true freedom of the individual.
Great men begin enterprises because
they think them great, and fools because
they think them easy.
Truth is the most powerful thing in
the world, since fiction can <?nly please
by its resemblance to it.
General observations drawn from par
ticulars are the jewels of knowledge,
comprehending great store in a little
room.
There may be times when silence is
gold, and speech silver; but there are
times, also, when silence is death and
speech is life.
llow wisely do they act who take no
anxious thought for the morrow, but are
attentive according to present ability, to
the duties of the present day.
Love is not altogether a delirium, yet
it has many points in common herewith.
Call it rather a discerning of the'infinite
in the finite —of the ideal made real.
How many daily occasions there are
for the exercise of patience, forbearance,
benevolence, good humor, cheerful
ness, candor, sincerity, compassion and
self denial.
Truth is the ob ject of our understand
ing, as good is of our will; and the un
derstanding can no more be delighted
with a lie than the will can choose an
apparent evil.
People are commonly so much occupied
in pointing out faults in those ahead of
the n, as to forget that some, astern,may
at the same instant be decanting on
theirs in like manner.
A Mining Proprietor’s Vow.
Eight years ago R. p. Parsons quareled
with his relatives m Indiana about
property, and went to New .Mexico,vow
ing tnat he would not return to his old
home until he was worth as much money
as all his relatives put together. He be
came a mining prospector with poor
success until a.year ago, when he dis
covered and opened a splendid mine
near White Oaks. He received an offer
of SIOO,OO ) for a half interest in the
property and refused it. Then $150,000
was offered him for a half interest. This
he also refused, saying that he must
have half a million in order that he
might return to Indiana. He couldn’t
get $500,000, and so, therefore, killed
himself, dying without a cent in his
pocket. The mine, which will readily
sell for $300,000, will go to the Indiana
relatives with whom he quarreled.—De
troit Free Frees.
Honey-Dew.
Honey-dew neither falls from Ihe
skies, nor is it made by an insect, but it
is a viscid sa charine matter that exudes
from both trees and herbaceous plants.
It is usuailv, but not always, associated
with the presence of aphides and other
insects which feed on the juices of plants,
and from this circumstance the flow of
honey-dew is ascribed to their punctures;
but the rupture of the tissues from any
other cause seems to produce it, and
warm dry weather seems to be necessary
for producing in the sap that super
abundance of sugar which is thus thrown
off. Aphides themselves exude by cer
tain peculiar organs drops of a fluid that
is called honcy-dew, which probably
differs much from the direct exudation
of the plants on which they feed, but
mingles with it where they abound.—
Courier-Journal.
A Workman's Heroism.
A large derrick in the Court House in
Ciroleville, Ohio, commenced to fall, and
Elmer McGath, a workman, held on to a
guy rope until his right hand was
crushed and the flesh burned off the palm
of the left hand by the escaping rope.
His pluck in holding fast to the rope
gave his fellow workmen, a large num
ber of whom were working under the
derrick, a chance to escape, and the only
damage done was McGath's injuries.—
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The late Kaiser Fritz, of Germany,
ever after his marriage with the English
Princess Royal kept the anniversary of
Waterloo as a fete day.
AN ISLAND FULL OF GOLD.
THE ROMANCE OF THE TREAD
WELL MINE IN ALASKA
Enoiiffh Metal to Pay the National
Debt—Dock that Will Require a
Century to Exhaust.
It has been whispered from‘time to
time in the last year that Alaska has the
richest gold mine in the world, but peo
ple who heard fragments of the story
simply shrugged their shoulders and
paid no further attention to the -subject.
Investors in mining property have been
fleeced so often that every enterprise for
getting the precious metals out of the
earth bears to their eyes the marks of a
swindle. And then (bailing the beauti
ful fur seal)'they think there is nothing
in that far off country but Tiiiinke s,
Hydahs, Chiikats. muskrats, ieebe gs.
glaciers, and other unmerchantable
articles. Only a few of the more favored
tourists who have been let into some of
the secrets of the small clique owning
the property appreciate the great wealth
that is locked up in the forbidding cliffs
on the shore about two hundred miles
north of Sitka. It is no concern of the
insiders to have the world know that
they own millions of tons of rock into
which long ages ago the precious metal
was so generously Altered. They have
no mine for sale. It is the little fellows
owning holes in the ground which have
been heavily stocked who want to sell.
They are content to quietly dig out 100
per cent, a month in this dark corner of
the earth. Modest fellows they are.
On the west siue of the Gastineau
Channel, within pistol shot of the main
land and under the shadow of precipi
tous mountains, is Douglass Island. Just
back from the shore, in a cliff from MOO
to 1000 feet high, is a horizontal shaft
400 feet wide and many hundred feet
long. At intervals along the top of the
cliff are perpendicular shafts. This is
the Treadwell Mine. It is said that
some rock has been taken out which
yields as high a- S2OO per ton, but that
is exceptional. The statement of one in
telligent man is that the average is Ml)
; per ton, and that it costs $1.50 per ton
to convert the raw material inter gold
bars, and that 300 tons of rock can be
j reduced per day. These figures being
correct, the net product of the mine is
$075,000 a year, allowing only 3:0
working days. Another authority es
timated that the output for the year
1887 would be SIOO,OuO per month, or
$1,200,000 per year, and the
yield this year certainly cannot be iess.
Diamond drills have been run
I long distances in various directions and
show no change in the character of the
i rock or the ore. A thousand feet below
i the level of the earth it is just the same.
It sounds extravagant, but experts who
I have made careful investigation declare
that there is unquestionably enough
j gold in the mine to pay the national
debt (about $1,200,000,000) and that
there are many million dollars’ worth of
pay rock in,sight. The confidence of
the owners of the property is shown by
the fact that they have in operation
more stamps than there are in any other
mill in the world. The appreciation of
the mine by other people is indicated by
I a bid of $10,000,000 which was made
for the property some months ago.
The mine was named for its discoverer.
Treadwell was au old Californian of long
experience in mining. He was one of a
great number of people who, knowing
j* that there are valuable mineral deposits
Borne where in Alaska, went there pros
pecting. The natives, a good natured
lot, are always on hand to take tourists
' and explorers along, the coast almost any
distance. Many old miners are con
stantly testing the rocks with hammer
and glass. They have located deposits
of gold, silver, copper, iron and other
metals, but it was reserved for Treadwell
to find this mass of gold-bearing rock.
It is said that when he first visited it there
was a vein of gold running conspicuously
up and down the face of the cliff. After
satisfying himself that it was worthy of
further tests, he went to California,
bought some machinery, and then re
turned. It required but little work with
this machinery to excite his cupidity to
the highest pitch. Having secured his
I rights in the claim, he went to San Fran
cisco with some specimens of the ore.
i Senator Jones, of Nevada, was at that
| time in bad luck, and poor. • It was his
opportunity. He went up to Alaska
and was convinced that another fortune
awaited him if he could get control of
the Treadwell Mine. He formed a syndi
cate and was given a quarter interest in
the profits of the mine as a considera
tion. Treadwell, it is said, received
A 1,000,000,000,000 in cash and a small percent
age oj: the profits. The stock of the
company is now owned mainly by four
Der-ons, of whom Jones and D. 0.,
| Mills are two. The mine employs natives,
and Cornislimen, and laborers, paying
them $2.50 per day aud upward, and
has already become quite a center of
! miscellaneous business.
With California losing its prestige as a
gold-producing country, Australia dis
appointing its friends, and other parts
of the earth failing to meet expectations,
the students of finance are looking about
| the world for a new source of supply.
Perhaps Alaska will fulfill the require
ments. Burmah. a mysterious country,
of which Americans know even less than
of their own Alaska, is said to have
enormous stores of gold ore, of the loca
tion of which nobody but a few persons
connected with the Government know
anything, but developments cannot be
expected there for many years. Mean
while Alaska will come to the front. At
all events, people who have seen the
Treadwell like to remark: “Alaska was
certainly worth the $7,200,000 Seward
paid for it twenty years ago.”— Chicago
Tribune.
A Clock Which Talks.
F.ddison has invented a new dinner
clock which talks. lu-tead of striking
the hour it speaks it. At dinner time a
voice issues from the clock and says
“Dinner time;” also “1 o’clock,” “2
o’clock,” etc., as the case may be. An
other device which he is perfecting in
connection with the clock is that of a
female face, which he proposes to set iq
the face of the clock. The lips of thit
figure will move at the hour, the head
will bow, and the fictitious lady will say,
! “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, it
is bedtime.”
The book reviewer, unlike other liter
ary men, can do his best work when in a
iCritical cond : tion.— Life.
-V MEMORY.
Home, through the meadow, a maiden caraa
singing,
A sweet bird was singing aloft in the tree.
My heart heard their song aud will hear it
forever,
It seems to me!
Down by the river a maiden stood sm"in 6
The river was smiling and (lane ng in Gee.
My heart saw their smile an.l will see it for
ever,
It seems to me! •
Close by the fire a maiden sat dreaming,
And dreaming was Love as be stood at her
knee,
My heart earnt their dream and will bold
it forever,
It seems to me!
—New York Telegram.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Over the range—The cook. *
A good deal—A pat hand.
High rent—A hole in the top of your
hat.
A slow match—Four years of court
ship.
How to cut a person—Look daggers at
him.
A tragedienne’s hair is composed of
actresses.
%
A pin can generally be relied upon to
carry its point.
It is no easy thing to put a full stop to
the girl of the period.
It is the counterfeiter who always
“pays a man in his own coin.”
A very poor oil, and one that should
never be used at home, is turmoil.
Atlas supported the world, and to this
day the world owes Atlas a living.
The dearest object to a man should be
his wife, but it is not uufrequently her
clothes.
The baker, strange to say, more than
any other man kneads bread.—B.ngham
ton Republican.
A man who is hung is usually cool. It
is the fellow that is guillotined that
loses his head.
We are all creatures of habit,especially
the girls who are out horseback riding.
—Rochester Post.
Mrs. Hammersly is not a peerless
beauty since she married her duke.—
Pitsburg Chronicle.
y'here is something of the vegetable
about au epitaph. It is a tomb motto.—
Pittsburg Chronicle.
There is some similarity between the
burglar and the negro minstrel. The
stock of trade of both include au assort
ment of gags.
A young lady attending balls and par
ties should have a female chaperon until
she is able -to call some other chap her
own.— Toledo Blade.
M. Floquet is a much smarter man than
Boulanger. He contrived not only to
steal a march on the General but to
steel his neck also.— siftings.
There is only the difference of an “s”
between woman’s weakness and man’s
weakness. One is gossip and the other
is go sip.— Washington Critic.
An Anatomical Match.—That is what
the Harvard boys called it, when Dr.
Thomas Mason had become engaged ta
Miss Anna Lathrop.— Mail and Express.
Editor Swift was a man of thrift
And married his proofreader Nelli*
Now he does up the current news
And she the currant jelly.
—Springfield Union.
“llow do you suppose Mr. Poorcaso
manages to get diamonds for his wife)”
asked a lady of her husband. “Oh, buys
them by the quartz, I presume.”
Thrift. — Highlander (he had struck
his foot against a “stane”) —“i hew-ts!
—E-eh what a ding ma ptiir buit wad a
getten if a’d had it on! ’ — l‘unch.
In the summer when we get a taste of equa
torial weather,
Ice cream saloons are places where the girls
delight to gather.
—Boston Courier.
The man who says he will welcome
death as a release from a life made up
of sorrow, generally sends for lour doc
tors when he has the colic. —Nebraska
State Journal.
A young girl in Ty Ty, Ga., seized an
axe and put two tramps to flight. Our
stuttoring contributor thinks she would
be “a gug-good girl to Ty-Ty to.”—
Norristown ldtrald.
“There aro no flies on me!” he cried,
In tones of confident warning.
But he pitched his tune in a different key
At five o’clock in the morning.
ll as/, tar ton Critic.
Swinburne is indignant because of the
current story to the effect that he is so
intensely literary that -when he goes fish
ing he declines to use anything but book
worms for bait. —New ) ork Sun.
If muck-a-pee-wah-ken-gah, the In
dian who has just been granted a pen
sion, had not been successful in his ap
plication, he could have made a living
by renting his name to be used as a
barbed-wire fence.— Wilmington Newi
Ragged Urchin (to druggist's clerk) —
“Pa has tooixeu a dose of that liuny
munt you gin him, an’ he's corfin’ aud
snee/in’ tit to bust hisself, an' he says
he’s a coming to knock merry bla/.es out
o’ you; so gimme a nickel an’ run fer
your life I”— Life.
The bodies of sixteen Chinese
Are homeward bound over the seas;
If the live ores would skip
On a similar trip,
New York would be more at its ease.
— Siftings.
Omaha Man—“ Think Mountain
County is going to be a rich section
some day, eh? How is the water—or
perhaps you didn’t test it?” Colonel
Kaintuck: “Oh, yes we did; chucked
a hatful on to a fire and it worked first
rate.” — Omaha World.
Waiter (in Chicago restaurant).-- “How
d’ye like the steak cooked, mister?”
Bobley (of New York). —“Aw, under
done, please.” Waiter.—“We don tdo
no French cookin’ here, mister. Our
steaks are just not up rare, middlin’ an’
well done. Which’ll ye have?” — Judge,
The beautiful Miss Mollineaux
Was anxious to capture a beaux,
So when a young Sioux
The maiden did wioux
She quickly surrendered to Leaux.
— Boston Courier.
A French Countess who has been
searching for her missing husband for
nearly ten years, has, according to a
newspaper paragraph, “found him in a
rich Philadelphian.” How he came to
be in the rich Philadelphian is a mys
tery. Can it be that rich Philadelphians
are cannibals? —New York Sun.