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About Dade County news. (Trenton, Ga.) 1888-1889 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 2, 1888)
tlailc County %cw?, TRENTON, GEORGIA. It is said that 1000 bushels of grain arc killed by heat in the West where one is injured by frost. A French Ministerial organ confesses that the country runs into debt at the rate of §00,000,000 a year. So mr.ny murderers have escaped ar rest in London of late years the people are said to be losing laith in the police as agents of public safety. w i ■wwwtr iarn—s—— Seme idea of the substantial progress of the working class in America may be gained from the fact that savings bank deposits in eight years have increased nearly §20,600,000. The Czar’s life is so often threatened lately that it looks, asserts the New York Graphic, as if he might have to go to war to somewhat unite his subjects and save his own life. The home crop of rice being short last year, large quantities of the East In dian article have been imported. The finest in the world is aaid to be grown in Java from Carolina seed. It is only sixty years ago that the first stage carrying the United States mail westward passed over the Allegheny Mountains. The road taken by thestag6 was from Cumberland, Md., to Wheel* ing, a distance of 160 miles. A Congressman recentl-y dictated a speech to the graphophone, and alter its delivery turned the cylinders over to the official reporters, who used the latter in stead of their notes in reporting the speech for the Congressional Record. Guy’s Hospital, the richest of the en dowed charities of London, has been obliged to ask for a share of the Hospital Bunday Fund. The agricultural depres sion is the cause. The endowments ol the hospital consist chielly of landed property. Many high-toned dogs are buried in an expensive manner in the prominent cemeteries about New York city. En terprising and humane individuals there propose the founding of a cemetery for pet animals which shall be finely laid out and dedicated to the remains of pets. A new saddle that had been invented was thought worthy of introduction into the German army. As a final trial a squadron of fifty cavalrymen are now taking a four weeks’ ride through Prus sia under the personal command of & General. They ride forty-five miles a day. M. Kergovatz, a chemist of Brest, electrotypes bodies after death. By hia process the body is encased in a sl<in of copper, which prevents further change or chemical action. If desired this may again be plated with gold or silver, ac cording to the taste or wealth of the friends of the deceased person. ■■hiiib ■ ■uamaaaßMrawßoaß Indians in the United States last-year, cultivated 227,265 acres of land, and raised 724,958 bushels of wheat, 934,- 972 bushels of corn, 512,137 bushels ol oats and barley, 521,010 bushels of vege tables. and 101,828 tons of hay. They also owned 358,334 horses and mules, 111,407 head of cattle, 40,471 swine, and 1,117,273 sheep. Professor Edward A. Freeman sayst 44 ‘Anglo-Saxon’ is such a very foolish word that I never use it. I see no reason why the two branches of the English folk should be called in the nineteenth century by an antiquated description used—for a particular reason—in char ters of the tenth and eleventh centuries, and hardly anywhere else.” A committee appointed to consider the situation of the unemployed poor in a Western city report that “works started for the relief of the unemployed, even though they be in some degree use ful and beneficial, are in the long run an injury instead of a benefit to the com munity, by discouraging the real spirit of work and thereby diminishing self reliance and enterprise.” The Steel Car Company is said to be constructing afire-proof steel <ar at Bos ton, which will contain nothing that can burn except the upholstery, and even that is constructed of uninflammable ma terial. Not only immunity from fire, but an increase in strength, a decrease in the liability to telescope, and diminish dead weight are expected to be some of the good features of th’e new car. M. Chevreul, the aged French scien* tist, has just reached his one hundred and second birthday. It is probable that he will not live through the winter, as his strength is rapidly failing. He spends the greater part of his time in bed, though he goes out driving on pleasant days. Parisian students who called on him a few'days ago were not allowed to see him, but we e received by his son, a charming youth of seventy nine. thjs belfry chimes. Hark! a Averry peal we’re ringing, With. Joyous clash We cleave the air, God’s, peace and blessing gayly flinging O'ur a happy bridal pair. Slowly down the aisle they’re passing, Proudly ’neath the archway gay, ' Par above sweet music’s crashing- / H-eed the warning now we say. Time for sorrow, time for song— Comes and goes the fleeting breath; Time for sorrow, time for song Life to-day,'to-morrow death. Now changed our note, so soft and low. As they turn the burial sod, And bowed the mourners weeping go, Foe a soul returned to God. With muffled sob we clang so slowly, As round the grave they kneel and pray, And mingled with those words so holy, Sad our warning still wo say: Time for sorrow, time for song— Comes and goes the fleeting breath, Time for sorrow, time for song— Life to-day, to-morrow death. —John Muir, in Harper's Monthly. M TRIUM PIL Some ten or fifteen miles beyond the mountains in the immediate vicinity' of Trieste, over among the rugged passes of the Carnic Alps, there is a small ham let of huntsmen’s dwellings, and among them, though somewhat isolated, is a sort of rough inn, which used to serve as wassail house for the hunters,and also as a shelter for travelers on their way to and from Laybach. It was a* cold, bluster ing evening in March, and though there was no storm, yet the blast#, as they came sweeping and whistling, whirling and howling down the mountain sides, failed not to drive the people to the cheer of the fireside. Within the bar room of this humble inn were collected some half dozen of the Alpine hunters, who passed the mug and tankard with good zest, now breaking into a happy chorus, and anon lending a willing ear to the tale and joke, while nearer to the blazing fire sat two men, strangers in the place, who had arrived just at nightfall and engaged entertain ment and rest for the night. These two travelers looked not much unlike com mon men, but yet there was a something about their countenances that attracted more than passing attention from the hunters. They did not behave exactly as honest men would be supposed to have behaved, for in all their move ments there was an evident aim to escape a too critical obsenalian. They had horses in the stable, and were also pro vided w’ith large traveling sacks, which sacks were either entirely or nearly empty. Ever and anon one or more of the hunters would cast a furtive glance towards the strangers, and onc§ or twice they endeavored to draw the twain into conversation; but the two men per sisted in remaining by themselves, and ere long they retired to the room which had been allotted for them. “Marcelline.” said one of the hunters, a stout, middle-aged man, addressing a blooming maiden, who stood behind the bar, “does Altzorf return to-night?” “No, sir,” returned the girl’ “he comes not till the morrow.” “And has yourmaster left you alone?” asked the hunter. “Oh, no. Altzorf has left with me.” “But Lubin is only a boy—a mere lad.” “Well, what of that?” replied Mar celline, looking with a somewhat in quisitive glance at the hunter. “O, nothing,” said the man. evidently endeavoring to hide, as much as possi ble, the fears or suspicions he enter tained; “only I do not exactly like the looks of those two men whom you have just shown to the room.” Several of the hunters immediately coincided with this opinion, but Marcel line laughed at their suspicions. “What an idea,’’ she said. ‘‘Why, what do you take them for?” “It is not impossible that they are robbers,” returned the first speaker. “Ha! ha! ha!” laughed Marcelline. “Robbers in such a place as this! Let’s see—there arts about twenty groshen in the drawer, and I have exactly seventeen cruitzers in my little box up stairs! What a place for robbers! My master took all the money with him to Trieste, save what I have named.” “Marcelline,” said the first hunter who had spoken, as he stepped forward and bent his head over the bar, “do you know if your master received in trust a large wooden box from an old monk— who went lately to the convent of St. Cecilia?” “Yes, he received such a one,” replied the maiden, “and it is even now locked up in his strong room.” “That box contains the massive silver plate and ornaments of his convent. The monk left it until his return.” “Well, ’tis not likely that those men can have heard of that,” Marcelline re plied, betraying a slight surprise at the knowledge she had just received ; “and if they had, they would not surely dare to rob the house.” “I don’t know about that,” returned the hunter. “Even in large cities these robberies take place. You had better let Justin or Roland remain in the house to-night.” “O, no, I had rather not—folks w ould talk,” uttered the maiden, as she looked with a deep blush upon two fair youths among the hunters, who had been thus designated to her. Marcel line remained firm in her de termination to accept of no assistance, or rather guard, from the hunters, and ere long they de{ arted to their several homes. The maiuen was left alone in the bar-room, for Lubin was yet in the stable; and as she found herself - thus solitary, she could not repress the feel ing of fear that came over her. While the stalwart hunters had been there she had been bold and safe; but now, that they were gone, she could not banish the spectre that intruded upon her lone liness. The two men—the stranger travelers—had indeed exhibited any thing but pleasing'countenances, and poor Marcellinc now began to repent her self that she had not accepted the kind hunter’s offer. Half an hour passed, and Lubiu came in from the stable. Marcellinc. how ever, sad nothing to him of what had transpired, but only requested him to be in readiness to respond to her sum mons in case she should have occasion to call him during the night. The boy then went to his bed, and once more the maiden was left alone. Nothing broke the stillness of the night save the blasts that howled among the Alps, and for half an hour longer she sat by the fast I decaying embers in the fireplace. The I maiden thought surely that if the | strangers meditated harm, they would | have been, ere this, on the move; and j with the throbbing of her fear-laden J bosom somewhat quieted, she raked up embers upon the hearth, extinguished the lamp that hung above the bar, and then taking her candle she started for her roam, Marcelline had passed through the narrow entry, ascended the stairs, and had her hand upon the latch of her ow n door, when a strange sound from the room of Lubin arrested her attention. At first she thought that the boy might be talking in his sleep, but the sound of hustling feet drove that idea from her ; mind, and as the idea flashed upon her that the robbers were astir, she turned to flee for help; but she was too late, for hardly had she turned toward the stairs, when she was confronted by one of her stranger guests. “Do you want anything, sir?” asked i Marcelline, hardly conscious of what ! she uttered, but usiDg the phrase merely from the force of habit. “Yes, pretty one, I do,” the man re turned. “I want Altzorf’s strong box.” “Mercy, sir! Y'ou would not rob us?” “O, no—not you. It’s only those baubles which belong to the convent that we want; so bestir yourself and show us where they are.” “I shall shriek, sir. I shall cry out for help!” exclaimed Marcelline, as she essayed to start for the stairs. “No, no, sweet one,” the villain re turned, at the same time laying a rough grasp upon the maiden’s arm and draw ing a pistol from his pocket. “Your stable boy is already secured, and we shall treat you in the same way. But mark me, if you are quiet, and tell us where the box is hidden, no harm shall come to you; but if you do not—” The villain silently finished his sen tence by significantly raising his pistol to the girl’s head, and at that moment he was joined by his companion, who had just come from Lubin’s room. Marcel line at first thought of resistance, but she soon found that she could gain nothing by that, and besides, the robbers not only threatened her life, but they vowed that they would break in sundpr every door and partition in the house till they found the box. Under these circum stances, the girl thought it best to reveal the hiding place of the box', trusting, however, that something might yet turn up to assist her; and accordingly she led the way to the barroom, back of which was a small apartment. Taking a key from the money drawer, she unlocked the door of the back room, and pointing to a small closet in the further corner, she said: “There, sirs, in that closet is the monk’s box, but my master has the key in his own possession, and so, if you would open it, you must needs force the lock.” “You are ready with your wit, pretty one,” said one of the robbers, as he cast a scrutinizing glance into Marcelline s face. “I fear to trust you too far, so you must excuse us if we just secure you till after our ob is completed.” As the man spoke he led the girl back to the barroom, and taking from his pocket a piece of stout cord, he pro ceeded to lash her to a chair. She stoutly resisted, and even attempted to utter a cry, but a napkin soon stopped her power of utterance, after wh ch her hands w’ere lashed behind her, and then she herself to the chair. After this, the robbers t ok a few tools from one of their sacks and proceeded at once to force the stout closet door. For a moment after Marcelline had been left alone she almost gave up in de spair; but her woman’s wit came to her aid, and a gleam of hope lighted up her countenance. From where the villains were at work they could not look into the’ barroom, and after listening for a moment or two to assure herself that they were fairly busy, she moved her chair noiselessly towards a table, upon which a candle had been left burning. By con siderable exertion she managed to get hold of the candlestick with her teeth, and then carefully set it upon upon a chair. A moment more she listened, and then she turned her back to the can dle in such a manner as to bring the outer cord into the blaze. It re piired not half a minute to burn of! the cord that had secured her to her seat, and then, bending over, she took the back of the chair in her teeth and carefully moved it out o r the way. Then she turned again and placed the cord that bound her wrists in the blaze. The lashings burned, and so did 7 her flesh, but with ii perfect self-devotion she heroically withstood the pain, and in a few moments she was free! Marcelline now breathed more freely. She bent her ear, and she found that the villains had broken open the door and entered the closet. She heard them prying at the box which contained the silver plate, and she knew that no time was to Le lost. The key was still in the lock of the door that opened into the back room, and quick as thought the hcrcic girl sprang forward and closed it upon those beyond. The key was turned, and Msrcelline then ran to the front door, unlocked it. threw it open, and sprang into the highway. It was but the work of a few moments to rouse some of the hunters, and ere long the two robber travelers were in safe custody. They not only lost their bootv, but also their liberty, and on the next day were safely conveyed to Trieste and delivered up to justice. Lubin was found in his room, with his mouth bound up and his arms pinioned to his chair; but the satisfac tion of being released from his un pleasant situation made him forget the indignities he had received. That little inn is still open to travelers, hut Old Altzorf keeps it no longer. Justin, the hunter, is its host, and the fair Marcelline is its hostess. Yankee Bla le. Indian* Relieved in Dreams. A leading Indian chief in time of great enmity between the tribes, would secrete himself in woods and caverns and call upon the Great Spirit in prayer. Atten tion was given to dreams, which at this time were of particular significance. A dream of a war eag e hovering near was especially ominous, meaning victory. After such a drea - n#Ue chief immediately appeared among his people and sum moned them to war, assuring them thai the Great Spirit was on their side. THE HINDOOS AT HOME. A LOOK INTO THEIR RELIGIOUS AND PRIVATE LIFE Horrible Practices of Fanatical De votees—Hindoo Houses anti Tlicir Furnishings—Amusements. A New York Mail and Express re porter has been having a talk with the Rev. Demas Osborne, native-born mis sionary of India, on the home life of the Hindoos. “Do you not meet with much hostility in your work:” he was asked. “Very much. ,lt is continual uphill labor, battling against hostility and in sensibility on the part of the natives. The natives are generally incited by the priests to oppose us in every way. They make no distinction whether the mis sionary is native or foreign born, and they have tried to prevent me from preaching in every way short of force.” “What about the Hindoo religious devotees.”’ “They make a sight that you never want to see a second time. Let me re fer you to a retired quarter of the city of Haridwar where the religious de votees or fakirs ply their trade and practice their austerities. The city is a shrine of pccular sancity and is visited by throngs of pilgrims throughout the year. There on one hand is a group of ‘Sunyasis,’ with ashes rubbed over their naked bodies, a narrow cloth round their loins, with great coils of artificial hair matted above their heads, clotted with dirt, sitting between blazing fires. Here is the ‘Kha anta-yogi’ with artificial sna es fastened around his forehead, strings of human, bones round his neck, covered over witli a tiger skin and face smeared with ashes. There sits a ‘Mouni,’fulfilling his vow of perpetual silence, almost nuKed, refusing all efforts to engage him in converse; and further ou a ‘Paramhangsa,’ perfectly nude, with hair and beard and nails grown like those of a wiid animal, seemingly regardless of anything around. Yonder, again, is the ‘Urdu Yahu,’ who, to fulfill a vow to Vishu, has held up his right aim so long that it has become stirf. rigid and immovable. There is another lying upon a bed of spikes, another standing on his head, and yet a third buried under ground so com pletely that but for a minute opening in the earth, over which the dust gently swells and falls, you would expect no living person below; and here is the “Aghor Panthi,’ almost naked, carrying in the left hand a human skull and a pan of burning coals in his right. Each has his disciples and followers and around each throngs of pilgrims gather, while not a few are positively worshipped as scarcely inferior to the gods themselves. “How do the Hindoos live?” “The private dwelling of the Hindoo is at some distance from his business premises. In the back of the street, through a lane, you come to a brick- Jouilt, white-plastered house with flat roof and low entrance. Pa3s in through the narrow door and you come to a range of small, low roofed, ill-ventilated room-; beyond them, you reach an open court yard, at one end oi which is a well with a rough pulley wherewith to draw water. On the other side are more rooms of the same kind, in which the women and children live. You are struck with the straightifess and smallness of the rooms aud the absence of ventila tion and light. The doors are few and low, each door-leaf is a solid plank, without glass or Venetians. When they are closed the room is dark, save where some rays of light glimmer through narrow, barred w’iudows. ” “Whatabout the furniture aud furnish ings?” “In the outer rooms are a couple of very rough, timber-bottomed chairs, and a square wooden platform or dais, about a foot high, called a ‘taklit.’ Upon this the neighbors and friends seat the nselves for an evening eha', while the chairs are reserved for honored and extraordinary visitors. The inner rooms are still more barely furnished. A few heavy, stoutly built boxes with lock and key for valuables; some round baskets, plastered ind gaily colored, for ordinary things; a few low stools; rough, but strong bed steads, and a large array ot cooking utensils, scrubbed and burnished bl ight, ire all that the rooms contain. Indeed, this is all the stock of furniture and furnishing which the wealthiest Hindoo home possesses. Sometimes, in the case of those who have the means and are accustomed to receive European visitors, there is an outside reception room, adorned with gaudy pictures and mirrors ; ;n gilt frames; but the interior apart ments are stereotyped upon the model I have described. The Hindoo’s wealth is not invested in furniture or upholstery, but in soiid jewelry, and profusion and variety of cooking, eating and washing utensils. “How about the women?” “The women of the house rise early, too, dispatch a hasty toilet, and proceed straight to their daily work. The first duty is to cleanse the cooking and other utensils, chiefly of brass. '1 his is done with the utmost thoroughness, with moistened clav or sand and water. Then j the rooms are swept and tidied up. Water for culinary purposes is then drawn from the well either by the wo men themselves or by a female servant. These preliminaries being settled the good wife prepares to cook the morning meal. Of course, the wheat has been ground before. When this needs to be done, the women rise as sarly as three or four in the morning, and sit at the grindstone, which occu pies an important part of the domestic institution. Sitting opposite each other xnd taking hold upon the handle which causes the upper stone to revolve sharply upon the lower, which is fixed to the sarth, the women, either ladies of the house or servants hired by them, grind all the wheat needed for the present use of the family.” “Are their amusements anything like ours?” “Some are and some are not. The Hindoo's views on dancing are directly antipodal to the European’s. No re spectable Hindoo would dream of being associated with this exercise,save as spec tator; and as for his wife, daughter and sister tiguiing in the ‘graceful maze,’ why, the idea is simply inconceivab’e. The dancing girls are a distinc t class, and usually of avowedly irregular life. They are hired, sometimes at consider able expense, lor these occasional per formance-?. Not unfrequently these girls aro notably pretty and graceful in per son ; some are possessed ofj singular beauty. They are not»only dancers but singers, and their quality and value are judged of by their looks and their vocal and dancing ability. Gaily arrayed in silks and tinsel, with tinkling bells as the feet, usually two girls perform at the same time, singing to the accom paniment of violins and guitars. The dancing is so unlike the European no tion of the movements of the “light fantastic toe,” that no description can convey a just idea of the performance. It consists as much of postures and atti tudes and gestures, as of movements and gyrations. At. the Holi festival such dancing parties abound; huge scaffold ings are erected upon which large num bers of dancing girls perform in view of multitudes; while pleasure boats glide up and down the river with dancing parties in full swing.” SEEECT SIFTINGS. Anaesthesia was discovered in 1844. Babylon contained 144 square miles. Rome contained 5,000,090 inhabi tants. New Haven manufactures most fish hooks. The assagai is a weapon or instrument of warfare among the Kaffirs. Catechisms are said to have been com piled in the eighth or ninth century. Cats as a general thing do not like water, though they are good swimmers. The first advertising agency in Americs was established by Orlando Bourne, in | 1828. It's well known that" there are abso lutely no genuine chamois skins in the market. Along in the first decade of this cen tury the New York Bowery was a coun try road. There is some talk of rebuilding the Colosseum at Rome and turning it into a roller skating-rink. One day’s newspaper and magazine mail in the New York Postoffice was 134 tons, 267,580 pounds. It took Jonah a day to get into the middle of Nineveh, which occupied more space thau Loudon, Commodore Vanderbilt made his great fortune of §120,000,000 after he had reached the age of sixty-five. A visitor to has discovered that Miles Standish never forgave John Alden for marrying Mists Priscilla. William Thomas, of Blotcher, Ind., owns a silk bandana handkerchief that has been in his family more than a hun dred years. A Dayton, .Ohio, blacksmith has made a horseshoe from nails gathered from every State in the Union, and presented it to the President. Pall-Mall is an ancient game in which an iron ball was struck with a mallet through a ring or arch of iron. It gives the name to a London street. The Oregon Alpine Club will anchor a copper box to the very apex of Mount Hood. It is to be a depository of rec ord to all making the ascent. Alexander Anderson, M. I)., the first American engraver on wood, was born in New York, April 21, 1775, and died in Jersey City, N. J., January 0, 1870. For eighteen cents in Wales an Amer ican traveler was served with a plentiful luncheon of cold meats, thin bread and butter, some gooseberry tarts and ginger ale. It is claimed that the Isabella and Catawbagrapes both originated in North Carolina, and were cultivated there for years before they became known to lame. It is announced that the body of Max well, the English chlorolormer, is to be buried at sea by his family, thus leaving no spot on earth to remind them of the fate of their wayward boy. Morton is a local name, from the parish of Morton in Nithsdaie, Dumfrie shire, Scotland. Mor, m the Gaelic, signifies big, and ton is from dun, a hill; Morton,the big or great hill. Mother Hubbard, it h is been decided, had a saintly origin. She is identified with St. Hubert, the patron of dogs and the chase, who is represented in a long robe, a veritable Mother Hubbard gown. While workmen were sawing timber at Fredericksburg, Ohio, they found a lock of red hair deep’y embedded in a large tree. The hair had been there for many years, as it was covered by fifty one growths of the tree. The only Indian in Dakota to whom naturalization papers have been issued is the Rev. Luke P. Walker, a graduate of the Indian School of Carlisle, Penn. He is a full-blooded redskin, but has com pletely severed his tribal relations* The expression, “a wild goose chase,” arose from the peculiar action of wild geese. W hen one takes the lead the others follow blindly, no matter what the obstruction or danger of the path may be. It is easy to see how the ex pression is applicable to some people’s actions. —s "■ ' Fortune from a Grape Seed. A woman now living near Bulfalo, but whose former home was in Euclid town ship, just east of Cleveland, Ohio, some years ago was left a widow in straitened circumstances, a small vineyard being her means of snpport. Among the varieties growing therein was one that her husband had recently set out for trial. The puny vine bore the next season but a single bunch of grapes. Grape vines are raised from cuttings and roots, and not from seeds, but the widow, out of curiosity, planted the seeds from one of these grapes. They sprouted and did so well that the young vines were transplanted, and when sufficiently developed bore handsomely a variety of grape that differed radically from the original seed. It was a lus cious table grape. A neighboring nursery man had his attention drawn to the new grape, and make the widow a opposi tion, which was accepted, to take cuttings from the vine, give the variety a name of its own, and put it on the market, paying her a royalty. The result was a fortune for both parties. The grape became an immediate fa orite, and in a few years the woman received §40,000 in royalties as her share of the profits. She sold her little vineyard and retired to her native place in New York, there to live at ease the balance of her life on the money brought her by the seeds of a single grape planted almost by chance. Cincinnati Enquinr. A JAR OF ROSE LEAVES. Myriad roses fade unheeded, ' Yet no note of grief is needed; When the ruder breezes tear them, Sung or songless, we can spare them, But the choice it p?tals are Shrined in some deep orient jar, Rich without and sweet within, Where we cast the loss leaves in. Life has jars of costlier price Framed to hold our memories. There we treasure baby smiles, Boyish exploits, girlish wiles, All that made our childish days Sweeter than these trodden ways Where the fatos our fortunes spin, Momory, tess the rose le.ive3 in! What the jar holds, that shall stay; Time steals all the rest away. Cast in love’s first stolen word; Bliss when uttered, bliss when heard; Maiden’s looks of shy surprise; Glances from a hero’s eyes; Palms we risked our souls to win; Memory, fling the rose leaves in! Now more sombre and more slow Let the incantation growl Cast in shreds of rupture brief, Subtle links ’twixt hope and grief; Vagrant fancy’s dangerous toys; Covert dreams, narcotic ioys Flavored with the taste of sin; Memory, pour the rose leaves in L Quit that borderland of pain! Cast in thoughts of nobler vein, Magic gifts of human breath, Mysteries of birth and death, IV hat if all this web of change But prepare for scenes more strangs; If to die be to begin? M einory, heap the rose leaves in! Thomas Wentworth liijcinjson. lIUMDR OF THE DAY. A large snowdrop—An avalance. In the human race the butcher holds the steaks. strange to say, a cross road is ofteD very pleasant. The best way to put down rents is to put up houses. Working like a horse—A lawyer draw ing a conveyance. A touching sight—A small boy invest igating a newly painted door. A great waste of effort—The child that cries for an hour never gets it. The man who does everything “on his own hook” is likely to get caught one of these days. The railroad with the narrowest gange most frequently has the largest mort gage.—Harper's Bazar. “One good turn deserves another,” re marked the cook as she gave the griddle cake a flip over. —Hotel Jf til. An Irishman recently of a man who had tried in everyway, but couldn’t commit suicide to save his life. The man who brings suit is always somewhat sad. There is something plaintiff about him.— Bids' urg Chronicle. “ ‘No los? without a gain,’ you say— Philosopher, thou art too wise; I’ve lost my credit; who g tins,! pray!” “Your creditor,” he replies. And now there is talk about a Rico Trust. Won’t the capitalists interested have a regular pudding ?—Rochester Post. “This is a nice box to be in,” as the fellow said when he found himself locked up in the refrigerator. —Bansvillt Breeze. - When a man and a woman discuss the subject of matrimony, one seldom gets the better of the other. It usually re sults in a tie. The man whose legs have been ampu tated may be the worst sort of a desper ado, but he will never die with his boots on. —Lincoln Journal. There is only the difference of a letter. Before marriage man yearn-, for woman, and after marriage he earns for her.— Bing ha niton Republ ica n. “What is your business?” “A glass worker.” ,“A glass-blower, eh;” “N --no; well, yes, I do blow the foam off a glass before I ar,rik it.” The remarks of the stump orator who wants to please labor, capital and every body, are like the stovepipe when it falls—very much disjointed. “Fire has a very l#d temper,” re marked the Judge.” “Ah!” replied the Major, tentatively. “Yes, it* is fre quently put out.”— Pittsburg A man, Mumm by name, has chris tened his twins Minnie aud Maximilian. As an example of minimum and maxi mum this cannot be beaten.— New York Sun. “Matrimony,” said a modern Bene dict, the other day, “produces remark able revolutions. Here am J, for in stance, changed from a sighing lover to a loving sire.” A traveler, finding himself add his dog in a wild country and destitute of provisions, cut off his dog’s mil and boiled it for his own supper, gi.ingth# dog the bone. • Chicago boasts of the most economic poiing lady in the West. When she washes her face she always laughs so as aot to have so much face to wash. Com mercial Advertiser. strange sights. I saw a cow-slip through the fence, A house-fly in a store; I saw a wood-chuck up the road, And a stona-pick on the floor. —Cleveland Herald. First Deaf and Dumb Man (talking with hands) —“What did you give that mail money for? You can’t hear his music.” Second Deaf and Dumb Man — “That is the reasou I gave it to him.”— Texas Siftings. “Julia, perhaps I am staying too late. Is not that your father tapping ou the floor overhead?” “Yes, Arthur, but don’t go yet. He isn’t dangerously mad until he goes tearing along the hail beat ing the gong.”— 2 ime. That wa3 a contradictory sort of an effusion written by a discharged clerk to his former employers: “September 1, 1888. Roe & Doe: Gentlemen. You are no gentlemen. Respectfully yours, John Bmith.” —Harper J La.ar. Farmer (to hired man) “Feemsto me you spend a good share of your lime sit ting on the feDce.” Hired Man —“Yes; I have done something in the literary line, and I am collecting material for a book to be entitled: ‘Life on the Rail.’ —Burlington Free Press.
