Newspaper Page Text
Haig t’Bunty Tinas.
TRENTON, GEORGIA.
We pay $1,000,000 a year to the exjua
tng surgeons in the pension service.
The trust fever is spreading in Europe,
notwithstanding the disastrous ending of
the copper syndicate.
Belgium is the only European country
that has attempted to collect through its
censuses the statistics of industry.
The Troy (N. Y.) Press is satisfied that
at least five billion dollars in gold and sil
ver lie at the bottom of the different
oceans.
Train wreckers have a rough time in
Mexico. The Government has them
quietly shot, without any newspaper
notoriety.
Twenty years hence, predicts the De
troit Free Press, no him tax will be able to
discover a wild elephant on any portion
of this glob*.
■ _._jrx 1 —
Gold and silver discoveries goby nines:
California, gold, 1549; Pike’s Peak,
1859; Nevada, 1869; Leadville, 1879.
WTiere is the bonanza of 1889?
A phase of benevolent work, which has
come into public notice with especial
prominence lately, notes the New Orleans
Picayune , is the progress of town and
city hospitals.
The New York Methodist Conference
passed a resolution deploring ilia custom
of raising money for church and charitable
purposes by fairs, bazaars, festivals, sup
pers, pleasure parties and similar means of
misleading or injurious tendency.
Ceylon people aro interested in a rivalry
as to who shall find the highest palm tree.
An English railroad builder named Can
trell made the first record of 110 feet, but
Mr. Paton-Cray has just shown a palm
117 feet hight and takes the medal.
The British naval programme for the
future is colossal. In addition to the
thirty-eight war ships of one kind or
another now in construction, seventy
more are to be laid down at a cost of
$110,000,000, making 501 war ships by
1894.
Of all the races of mankind that migrate
to this country, the Italians care the least
about becoming the owners of land. Few
the far West to enter upon the work of
tilling the soil, to live in cabins built by
their own hands, and to “grow up with
the country.”
The Khalifa of Khartoum has kindly
presented the Governor of Suakin with
the head of Ras Alula, the great Abyssinian
General, for a foot ball, announces the
Chicago News. It is by such little court
esies a 3 these that the people of the
Orient have attained a lasting reputation
for politeness.
London has become recognized as the
great clearing house for all European
thieves who operate on a large scale.
The proceeds for any great robbery com
mitted in Europe, which it is intended to
restore through negotiations, are always
sent to be delivered in London, and there
is as yet no legal way to put a stop to the
traffic.
Three countries in Europe look to their
royal nurseries for the future occupants of
their thrones. Alexander of Servia is
•;hirteen, Princess Wilhelmine Helene of
tolhe Netherlands is nine, and Alphouso
DK 11. of Spain but three years of age.
Hrhcre is something almost pathetic, ob
serves the New York Voice, in the interest
with which, in the turmoil of political
strifes at this age of the world, national
lives arc bound up in these children.
The people of Rutland, Vt., tried the
Australian system of voting at their last
village district election, and a local paper
reports that “over 150 votes had to be
rejected owing to irregularity, while
there was much grumbling before the day
was over and some contested offices will
result. This failure was due to no defect
in the method, but to ignorance and the
elimination of the element of secrecy—
the voters being allowed to help and ad
vise each other in the matter of erasures.
When the practice of cremation was
introduced here a few years ago, remark?
the New York Sun, its advocates believed
that it would soon supersede the custom
/if burial. But it has not grown in favor
as they supposed it would grow. The
subject has just been brought under de
bate in the King's County Medical Society,
and cremation was strongly advocated by
some of its members; but it is now evi
dent that the popular feeling against the
practice is*"of a kind that cannot be over
come in this genet ation. The crematory
is tooked upon as a pagan institution, not
to be introduced into Christian countries.
TIME KOMUON CHOMJ,
TheJ&nppalnmnocVs stately tide, aglow with
fwase* light,
Ohom sweeping down between the hills that
kenned its gathering might.
From true side rose the Stafford slopes, and
on the other shore
■Hie Spetteylvania meadows lay, with oak
groves scattered o'er.
Husbvd were the sounds of busy day; the
brooding air was hushed.
Save for the rapid-flowing stream that
chanted as it rushed.
O’er naead and gently sloping hills, on either
side the stream,
The white tents of the soldiers caught the
sun’s departing beam —
On Spottsylvania’s slopes the Blue; on Staf
ford’s hills the Gray;
Between them, like an unsheathed sword, the
glittering river lay.
Hark! Suddenly a Union band far down the
stream sends forth
The strains of “Hail, Columbia,” the paean
of the North.
The tents are parted; silent throngs of sol
diers, worn and grim,
Stand forth upon the dusky slopes to hear the
martial hymn.
So cleai - and quiet was the night that to the
farthest bound
Of either camp was borne the swell of sweet,
triumphant sound.
And when the last note died away, from dis
tant post to post
A shout, like thunder of the tide, rolled
through the Federal host.
Then straightway from the other shore there
rose an answering strain.
“Bonnie Blue Flag” cam# floating down the
slope and o’er the plain.
And then the Boys in Gray sent back our
cheer across the tide—
A mighty shout then rent the air and echoed
far and wide.
“Star-spangled Banner,” we replied they
answered, “Boys in Gray,”
While cheer on cheer rolled through the dusk,
and faintly died away.
Deeply the gloom had gathered round, and
all the stars had come,
When the Union band began to play the notes
of “Home, Sweet Home.”
Slowly and softly breathed the chords, and
utter silence fell
Over the valley and the hills—on Blue and
Gray as well.
Now swelling and now sinking low, now
tremulous, now strong.
The leader’3 cornet played the air of the
beautiful old song;
And, rich and mellow, horn and bass joined
in the flowing chords,
So voice-like that they scarcely lacked the
charm of spoken words.
Then what a cheer from both the hosts, with
faces to the stars!
And tears were shed and prayers were said
upon the field of Mars.
The Southern band caught up the strain;
and we, who could sing, sang.
Oh, what a glorious hymn of home across
the river rang!
We thought of loved ones faraway, of scenes
we’d left behind —
The low-roofed farm-house ’ueath the elm
that murmured in the wind;
The children standing by the gate, the dear
wife at upuu oia
barn floor.
Oh! loud and long the cheer we raised, when
silence fell again,
And died away among the hills the dear
familiar strain.
Then to our cots of straw we stole, and
dreamed the livelong night
Of far-off hamlets in the hills, peace-walled,
and still, and white.
—James Buckham, in Harper’s Weekly.
THE MAVERICK SILVER,
• BY S. A. WEISS.
It was a stormy November evening,
with a high wind and a pouring rain—
such an evening as makes people ap
preciato the luxury of a pleasant home
fireside.
The Misses Maverick felt very comfort
able as they sat in cushioned chairs, one
on each side of the glowing fire, while
between them the little tea-table gleamed
with polished silver which reflected back
the dancing blaze.
No plated ware was this, but, as the
ladies often boasted, solid sterling silver
which had belonged to their grandfather;
and having nothing else to show in
token of what the Mavericks had been in
their day, they prized this battered silver
service above all things. As Miss
Maverick often observed, she would pre
fer to lose the housg over their heads,
though it had been left them by an aunt,
than part with one of those worn spoons
engraven with the Maverick monogram.
“Alice seems very long about the tea,”
observed Miss Maverick, glancing at the
clock. “I am almost sorry I allowed
Nancy to go to her sister's. It is incon
venient, and I never feel safe without
her, in case of illness or accident. She
hasn’t been long with us, but I think
she’s to be trusted.”
“She is certainly sufficiently out
spoken,” said Miss Myra, nodding her
little gray curls. “What do you think
she said to me to-day? ‘Miss Myra,’
says she, ‘if that young doctor's too
poor to support Miss Alice, as I heerd ye
say, couldn’t ye let ’em have the rooms
across the hall that's no use to anbodv but
the mice, and that ’ud save ’em their
rent?’ says she.”
Miss Myra laughed a little, timid laugh,
while she glanced half-wistfully at her
sister,
But she, stiff and erect, gazed into the
fire.
“Nancy must be taught to know, her
place,” she said, sternly. “And as to
Alice, I have already said that I will
never consent to her marrying Doctor
Darrel. Think of our bringing up that
child, educating aud clothing her, in the
hope that she would make a match worthy
of a M&verick, and the first thing that we
know she wants to throw herself away on
a poor doctor—the son of a plain farmer
—who has nothing' to depend upon but
his practice, if he ever gets one.”
“He may succeed in time,” said Miss
Myra, who rarely ventured to differ from
her more strong minded sister. “They
say he’s clever, and people seem to like
him. I would not be surprised if he and
Alice marry at last.”
“In that case they know what they
have to expect of us!” returned Miss
Maverick, grimly. “I will give the house
to be an orphan asylum, and leave the
silver and everything else -to the Home
for Decayed Gentlewomen. It will be
better there than with common crockery
on Farmer Darrel’s table.”
At this moment Alice entered, bearing
the tea tray, an office which she had
taken upon herself in order that Nancy
might have liberty to visit her sister.
She was a slight girl, with a fair, sweet
face, and a gentle, appealing look, con
trasting with Miss Maverick’s determinsd
expression. She did not look happy.
How could she, when she knew that to
give herself to the man she loved would
be to estrange from her the only relatives
from whom she had found kindness and
affection?
Alice poured out the tea, and the ladies
had just helped themselves to toast and
marmalade, when Miss Myra gave a slight
scream and pointed to the window opposite
which she was seated.
There between the curtains appeared a
man’s face, and as they looked he nodded
and beckoned.
“For heaven’s sake, Alice,” said Miss
Maverick,startled, “see who it is and what
he wants!”
The girl raised the sash slightly, but be
fore she could speak, the man—who was
leaning over from the porch—stooped and
said, in a low and hurried voice;
“Don’t be alarmed. lama policeman,
and come to let you know that there are
burglars on your premises. Let us in
quietly, so as not to alarm.”
Miss Myra sank pale and trembling on a
sofa. Her sister, seizing a lamp in one
hand and with the other firmly clutching
Alice’s arm, went to the hall door and
quickly unlocked it.
Two *ien stepped in—one a dapper anfl
well-dressed little man, and the other tall
and stalwart, wearing a rough overcoat with
a large cape.
The moment he passed the threshold, he
turned - the key and withrdew it from the
lock.
“They won’t escape by tills way,” he
muttered, and cautiously followed the
ladies into the room they had just left.
Here he opened his overcoat, displaying
a policeman’s shield and uniform, and
again buttoned it.
“I am Sergeant Angus,” he said, speak
ing in the same low and cautious tone.
“This gentleman—Mr. Martin—has just
informed me that he saw two men enter
your house awhile ago— —”
•‘By the cellar window in the side
yard,” replied Mr. Martin, who looked a
little timid and uneasy.
Sergeant Angus nodded and again ad
dressed Miss Maverick:
“It is possible the servants may have
let them in.’ (
“Oh, dear, no! We have only one—
our cook—and she was sent for an hour
ago to see a sick relative.”
The Sergeant smiled—a peculiar smile.
•‘That’s an old trick, taking oneself
out of the way to avoid suspicion. I will
warrant, ma’am, tiy—rvant has a hand
posted her accomplices. It is just there
that we can best trap them. I have a
man at the rear and will let him in.”
Miss Maverick and alarmed
out of h«(kelf-posse4Rsn.
“I w<Ml never have dreamed it of
Nancy. ®mt it’s the silver they’re after.
Part of it is here, as you see, and the rest
in the closet of my room, locked in an
old leather trunk. I would'nt lose it for
the world. Oh—”
“Pray be quiet, ma’am!” said the
Sergeant, almost authoritatively, “or
they will hear you and take the alarm,
which is your room?”
“The one over this—”
“Hist!”
He held up his hand and listened.
“I think I hear a sound overhead.
They are probably at the closet. Now,
ladies, whatever happens, keep perfectly
quiet. Mr. Martin will stay by you, if
you object to being left alone.”
He examined a pistol which he took
from beneath his coat, then softly left
the room.
Mr. Martin looked around.
“Hadn’t you better put that silver out,
of the way,” he suggested, “and any
valuables that you have within reach?”
“Certainly. Why didn’t I think of it?”
said Miss Maverick, all of a tremble.
And while Alice attended Miss Myra
with vinegar and water, the elder sister,
with Mr. Martin’s assistance, tied up the
silver in a table-cover and thrust it out
of sight under the valence of the big,
chintz-covered sofa.
Then she opened a writing desk, and
took out a roll of bills, which she thrust
deep down into her pocket—adding to
them her own and Miss Myra’s mourning
breastpins and rings.
Next, she seized upon the family Bible
and various photographs which hung
above the mantle-piece, and with her
treasures thus secured, stood rigid and
alert, prepared for the worst.
Ten minutes of dead silence ensued.
Then they heard a step, heavy but cau
tious, coming down the stairs. It crossed
the hall, and entered the room next that
in which they were.
A moment after there was a sound of a
muffled voice.
Mr. Martin started up, and hastily
motioning to the ladies to follow, glided
out of the room.
In her fright, Miss Maverick forgot
even the precious silver under the sofa,
and laden with the rest of her treasures,
while Alice supported the limp and
trembling form of Miss Myra, stumbled
out into the pitch-dark hall.
At the moment, some one rushed past
them. Miss Maverick was pushed rudely
against the wall, and fell, while a rough
hand grasped her throat.
“I’ve got you, you villain! Hare, An
gus, lend us a hand! Why, hang it!” as
he seized" Miss Maverick s false front hair,
which came off in his hand, “it’s a wo
man!”
Then there was a scuffle, a sound of
; running feet down the cellar stairs, a
i confused noise outside, pistol shots—and
i, Mira Maverick, in the midst of her books
and photographs, fainted dead away U
the darkness.
When she came to herself she was lying
on the chintz sofa, with Alice kneeling
beside her, bathing her hands in cam
phor, while Doctor Darrel bent over her,
stanching a slight wound on her fore
head.
Close by Nancy was ministering to
Miss Myra, and indignantly discoursing:
“ ’Twas jist one o’ their cunnin’ tricks,
Miss Myra—bad luck so ’em! To think
o’ me bein’ cheated into goin’ off a mile
an’ more through wind an’ rain, to see my
dyin’ sister an’ she dancin’ at the wed
din’ !”
“Where am I?” said Mis# Maverick,
feebly.
“Safe in your own house, my dear
madam,” answered the doctor, cheer
fully.
And Alice looked half-timidly from
him to her aunt.
“The silver!” gasped the latter, with
a sudden remembrance.
1 ‘lt is safe, also. We were in the alley,
on the watch for the rogues, and they
were compelled to drop the silver in or
der to escape.”
Miss Maverick rolled her eyes upward
in a silent, but fervent, thanksgiving.
Then she put her hand to her pocket,
and her expression instantly changed.
No pocket was there, but a great hole
where it had been cut clean out—no
doubt when she was knocked down and
choked.
“It was the fellow they called Martin,”
explained the doctor. “He and his com
panion—the pretended policeman—were
the burglars. They both escaped, though
Martin dodged a good while before he
would drop the silver which he had
helped to hide under the sofa. As for
the contents of the pocket, he got off
with that.
Miss Maverick was too thankful at the
recovery of her precious silver to take
much to heart the loss of the money and
other things.
“Who gave the alarm?” she inquired,
feebly.
“I did, Aunty,” Alice said, with a
blush. “The hall door was locked, but
I broke one of the side lights and called
for help, and Doctor Darrel, who was
just entering his office, heard me.”
“She called him by liis name,” said
Nancy, excitedly, “an’ lucky ’twas he
heerd her, for there wasn't a livin’ soul
on the street but him and me. An’ he
was over like a flash: an’ when she told
him there were burglars, he rim for his
pistils, and sent his boy fiyin’ for the per
lice, and the first thing there was a crowd.
An’ it’s him, mum, you’ve to thank for
savin’ your lives, an’ the silver, an’ the
house from bein’ burnt over your head,
likelyri’
Mis- Maverick made no reply; but on
the following day she pondered these
things in her mind, and came to a con
clusion.
“Myra,” she said, “that Doctor Darrel
is a very nice young man, after all.”
“I always said so.”
“And he was certainly the means of
saving the silver, and was very kind to
us.”
“He certainly was; and you—we had
» • - -J! t i-i
“Burglars may make another attempt.
I think we need a protector. ”
“Undoubtedly we do.”
“If he should marry Alice—” said Miss
Maverick, thoughtfully. “They say he
is a rising man, and his family very re
spectable, though only farmers —”
“Yes,” said Miss Myra, eagerly.
“The house is large enough for us all;
and it is a good thing to have a doctor in
the family—and the silver would be
safe.”
Whereat Nancy, who overheard the
whole from an adjoining room, danced a
soft and silent dance of satisfaction and
triumph—all for Miss Alice's sake.
The silver shone very brightly on
Alice’s wedding night, and the Misses
Maverick have never since been troubled
by burglars. —Saturday Night.
Where Cars Are Run With Sails.
I was looking at some models in the
National Museum of curious cars used in
the early days of railroading in this coun
try, when Mr. Watkins, the curator,
pointed out one particular one that had a
mast and sail. Experiments with such
cars were made on the Baltimore and,
Ohio and on the South Carolina road. It
was then a serious question whether the
motive power on railroads would be sail,
horse or steam. The steam locomotive
; was still looked upon as an experiment.'
! Sail cars are used to-day on a Guano rail
road on the island of Malden, in the South
Pacific. They are, in fact, used nearer
home than that, for railroad men at Barne- -
gat Beach, when the wind is favorable,
-frequently ride over the road on construc
tion cars—sloop-rigged. “The wind baa
a good deal to do with railroading even
to day,” Mr. Watkins said. If you go to
the bureau of intelligence at the Broad
street station, Philadelphia, and ask
whether some train, say from New York,
is likely to be on time, you may be in-,
formed that it is likely to be four or five!
minutes late, because there is a strong
wind from the west. Winds make con-(
siderable difference in the running time
of trains. —Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Coaling of Ocean Steamers.
Talking the other day with a manager
of one of our transatlantic lines he told a
New York Star reporter some curious
things about the coaling of ocean steamers
and the work and men on board of the big
ships. It appears that as time goes on the
daily consumption of coal increases on all
the Atlantic steamers, which must make
the voyage now in seven days or under if
they would hold their own and attract cus
tom. To do this a vessel must burn from
200 to 300 tons of coal daily, making this
item of expense over SISOO every twenty
fours, requiring more men to handle it and
taking up additional room in the hold of
the ship. The Umbria burns twelve tons
of coal per hour, and on every vessel of
her size the journals and bearings of the
machinery require 130 gallons of lubricat
ing oil per day. The Cunard Line em
ploys 4500 hands, including 1100 of a
shore gang, 900 stewards, thirty-foui
captains and 146 officers.
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS.
wholesomt?ness ok bold food.
Cold food, says the Boston Journal qf
Health , is much more easily kept on a sen
sitive stomach than hot; so, in cases
where it is rejected in the ordinary warm
or hot form, it had better be tried as near
ly frozen as may be taken. In many fev
ers this would be a decided advantage.
Milk may be administered in a frozen
state, often with a positive advantage.
The Sanitary Era adds, from frequent in
stances, that ice-cream suits admirably
some conditions where hardly any other
food is acceptable.
CLEANING FINE LACES.
To rub fine laces while washing them is
ruinous. The following is the best
method of doing them up: A thick
blanket of soft rags is sewed around a
bottle, and on this the lac# is pinned.
The bottle is then placed in a bath of
soapy, warm water; after soaking for
twenty minutes it is boiled for some time
and allowed to cool. It is dipped in sev
eral baths of clear wat#r until all the soap
seems to be removed. The lace is then
taken off the bottle, and, after the water
is gently pressed out, it is hung up to dry.
When still slightly damp it is placed on a
hair cushion covered with flannel and
fastened with laoepins. This demands
skill and patience. A pin is placed
through each loop and a twist is given be
fore the pin is fastened. When quite flij
the lace is sponged with a weak soiutioh
of gum arabic, which gives a new ap
pearance when cry. ; — Brooklyn Citifen.
TO PUT A GLOSS ON WOODWOBK.
For gloss or enamel finish on smoothly
dressed woodwork, now in favor, as good
authority as Decorator and Furnisher glvei
the following directions: It is done bj
first putting on a good ground of white
lead paint flatted and finely rubbed down
with sandpaper. Then put into the paint
some white copal varnish, sufficient tc
leave an eggshell gloss when dry, being
very careful that it is smoothly applied
and laid off finely, leaving no runs oi
strong brush marks. Then apply varnish
alone, with just enough paint to cover it.
This last coat must be flowed on the work,
not rubbed out or brushed like the pre
vious coats, but left on thicker or in
greater body, evenly brushed out, so as
not to be thicker in one place than another.
Zinc white of the best quality, broken up
thick with turpentine and strained very
fine, should be used for the last two coats.
Enamel finish, to retain its pure white,
should be made with zinc ground in var
nish for the purpose,the first coat thinned
with turpentine, the last with good copal
varnish.
HOUSE CLEANING SUGGESTIONS.
In cleaning bed chambers all furniture
should be moved, pictures and ornaments
taken from the walls and carpets taken
up. Bare walls, if hard finished, should
be wiped down and papered over, cleaned
off with a dry cloth: Paints should be
washed; windows washed and polished,
floors wiped off with hot wateT, and
rinsed with strong brine. In washing
t.i-iyipc very ly■* <■!ur nlwuiLi
be used, and after drying thoroughly, they
should be sprinkled with benzine to de
stroy vermin and moths. Carpets should
be freed from dust before putting down.
If spots of greese or dirt still remain,
they can be removed with hot water and
pearline. When bed chambers are in
order, the parlor and dining-room should
be cleaned in the same way, and then the
kitchens, where special care should be
taken. All the baiting pans, tin ware and
crockery utensils should be put in boil
ing water, and then scoured. The walk
should be white-washed and floors
scrubbed; sinks and dishes should be
cleaned with carbolic acid and hot water.
After the house has been cleaned from
attic to cellar, the yard and out-build
ings should undergo the same process, all
rubbish and dirt being liauled from the
premises, and lime and carbolic acid
freely used to cleanse and purify.
salads.
Many delicacies aud healthful salads may
be made from vegetables, says Mrs. E. R.
Parker in the Courier-Journal, which are
particularly appetizing and acceptable al
this time of the year, when the appetite
requires tempting.
Asparagus Salad—Boil two large
bunches of asparagus in hot water, drain,
cut off the tops, throw in cold water, and
stand half an hour. Then dry carefully,
put in a salad dish and pour over a dress
ing made of a tablespoonful of vinegar,
then a tablespoonful of olive oil, a little
pepper and salt. Set on ice.
Lettuce Salad—Wash crisp eentei
leaves of lettuce, and dry. Break or teai
the leaves to pieces with a silver fork.
Make dressing of half a pint of milk,
tablespoonful of butter, yolks of three
eggs, two tablespoonfuls of corn starch,
two tabiespoonfuls of vinegar, with pepper
and salt. Pour over the lettuce and serve
immediately.
Celery Salad—Cut the stalks of white
celery into pieces half an inch long. Ta
every pint allow half a pint of mayon
naise dressing. Dust the celery lightly
with salt and pepper, mix with the dress
ing and heap on a cold dish; garnish witii
celery liones.
Kale Salid—Strip from the stalks the
inside leaves of tender kale, lay on a dish;
sprinkle with pepper and salt and pour
over a dressing of raw egg, three table
spoonsful of thick sweet cream, two of
lemon juice and a teaspoonful <*f mustard;
beat all together.
Onion Salad—Cut up a dozen young
spring onions, season with salt and pepper.
Take a tablespoouful of vinegar and three
of salad oil, mix and pour over the onions,
then place a layer of hard boiled eggs on
the edge of the dish.
Spinach Salad—Take two dozen heads
of spinach, put on a salad dish, season
with salt and pepper. Set on ice. Take
the yolks of three hard boiled .eggs, mash
fine, add mustard, salt, pepper, with a
tablespoonful of melted butter, mix them
thc-oughly and then with vinegar pour
over the spinach. Garnish with hard
boiled eggs sliced.
Dandelion, cresses, turnip tops and
mustard all make excellent salads pre
oared as lettuce salad.
BOW THEY RIDE.
Pace, pace, pace—
That’s the way the ladies ride,
Foot htmg down the pony’s side—•
Pace, pace, pace,
Pacing gently into town
To buy a bonnet and a gown;
Pacing up the narrow street,
Smiling at the folks they meet-*
That’s the way the ladies ride,
Foot hung down the pony’s side—
Pace, pace, pace.
Trot, trot, trot—
That’s the way the gentlemen ride.
O’er the horse’s back astride—
Trot, trot, trot.
Riding after fox and hound,
Leaping o’er the meadow's bound,
Trotting through the woods in spring,
Where the little wild birds sing—
That’s the way the gentlemen ride,
O’er the horse’s back astride—
Trot, trot, trot.
Rock, rock, rock—
That’s they way the sailors ride
Rock and reel from side to side—
Rock, rock, rock.
Jack Tar thinks he’s on the seas.
Tossing in a northern breeze;
Thinks that he must veer and tack.
When he mounts a horse’s back;
Rocking east and rocking west,
Jack Tar rides, dressed in his best—
Rock, rock, rock.
Sleep, sleep, sleep—
That’s the way boy Ned will rid»
Floating on the slumber tide—
Sleep, sleep, sleep.
Out upon the drowsy sea,
Where the sweet dream-blossoms be,
Far away to Sleepy Isles
Sails boy Ned. “Good-night,” he smiles;
Sinking down in pillows deep,
Little Ned is fast asleep—
Sleep, sleep, sleep.
—Anne M. Libby.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Apparent ingenuousness is frequently
genuine ingeniousness.
“So you are a jail-bird, eh? What did
did they put you in for?” “Robin.”
It is when the Young Idea first begins
to shoot that a little learning is a danger
ous thing.
Although baseball is termed the noble
game, a third of the men engaged in each
nine are basemen.— Graphic.
It is a wise child that goes out of the
room to laugh when the old man mashes
his thumb.— Terre Haute Express.
Customer —“Say, waiter, this shad
tastes very fishy.” Waiter —“Yes, sah;
ihads is fish, sah.”— Philadelphia Hecord.
I cannot sing the old songs.
As I have been requested;
When last I tried to warble them
The Mayor had me arrested.
—Nebraska State Journal.
“I wasn’t exactly mad about it,” said
fllithersby, discussing his ejectiou from
& theatre, “but I was somewhat put out.”
— Harper's Bazar.
“Why do they call them spar buoys?”
the asked the purser. “O,” said he, “I
“Alack,” he said, “here is a bill,
Bat where’s the cash -*-ith which to pay it?
“Alack,” he said again, foicr, o tij
It was a lack that made him jf
—Merchant apavder.
Fond Mother—“ You must remw,b er
Emeline, that fine feathers don’t make
line bird.” Daughter—“ True, mamma,
but they do make awfully pretty hats.”
Time.
Scene: A lonely spot on a dark night.
“Would the gentleman be so kind as to
assist a poor man? Beside this revolver, I
have nothing in this wide world. ” — Boston
Gazette.
Rose (at the cafe) —“Let’s see. We’ve
ordered Irish potatoes, haven’t wc? What
can we have to match them?” Emily—
“Ah, yes! Waiter, a pat of butter,
please.”
Amateur Hubert—“Kelud, five moons
were seen to-night, four fixed aDd the
other did whirl.” Muffled voice from the
audience—“ Did jcver—hie—try bro
mide ?”— Pittsburg Dispatch.
A gallant young man, under festal
circumstances, referred to one member of
the sex he eulogized as ‘ ‘a delectable dear,
so sweet that honey would blush in her
presence, and treacle stand appalled.”
You’ll find it true if you’ll observe,
Although the finding out may pain ye,
’Tis sometimes hard to draw the line
’Twixt larceny and kleptomania.
—Merchant Traveler.
“My dear, was that a hymn you were
singing to Lord Fitz de Grey last night?”
asked the fond father on Monday morn
ing. “Oh, yes, papa; it was ‘When I
Can Read My Title Clear. ’ ” — A T ew York
Sun.
Mr. Jess Wadae (to his bride) —‘ ‘Please
pass me the sugar, sweetness!” (Looks
up in some confusion as the waitress
hands him the sugar bowl with unusual
alacrity. Suppressed laughter from the
ether boarders!. — Judge.
A Western college has a school for
journalism in it. “John,kill that editorial
on ‘The Whatness of the Where,’ and cut
down ‘A Lunar Myth,’ so that we can give
half a column to ‘the .Esthetics of Canine
Contests.’ ” —Merchant Traveler.
Papa (that is to be) —“You make a
draft of your plans after marriage, George,
and submit it tome.” George—“l thought
I’d leave that to your generosity, sir.
About fifty thousand will do, though.
I’ll draw when we get to Paris.” —Chicago
Journal.
A man fell overboard near Havana, and
a lawyer jumped into the water to rescue
him just as a shark started to seize the
poor fellow. The shark reached the man
first and swallowed him, but the lawyer
tv as the quicker, for he succededed in
getting the man's boots and pocket book
before he disappeared from sight.—-AT. Y.
Mercury.
The Cuban soldiers and bandits vie
noth each other in deeds of atrocity. At
Guantanamo, while looking for kidnap
pers, the authorities butchered nine per
sons.
South Carolina devotes a wtsek annual
ly to tree-planting.