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EXPERIENCE
IN MILKING.
One morning 1 went into the
barnyard to perform the daily of
fice of milking. I was mad to be
gin with. (cause: Mrs. Hopper
grass’ perversence.) 1 didn’t give
rose half a feed.l think she suspect
ed something was wrong from the
start, for I did not speak in that
soft, persuasive tone which cows
like so wf. 11. I forgot to say —or
rather I could not say everything
I wanted to in the first sentence —
that it had rained the proceeding
night, and was still drizzling, but
such is the fact. I refer you to
Mrs. Hoppergrass if you are dubi
ous, she remembers the occasion.
The calf was a half-mile off in
the pasture. The blamed thing
got just as far off as it possibly
could. I had to trot after him my
self. Bill, our chore boy. being
sick or lazy, I got soaking wet to
the knees. I also got mad. The
calf went all around a ten acre
pasture, stopping to mutilate sev
eral bunches of rich clover he had
failed to see during his rounds the
night before. It was not the mu
tilation or the mastication I ob
jected to but the keeping me out
in the wet clover. I yelled myself
hoarse. I let fly one cjiss word at
him.
It surprised him. He had never
heard me swear before. He turned
deliberately around and looked
me sqarely in the face with two
great, soft, brown eyes so reproach
fully, that for a moment, 1 felt
like relenting. But the remeniber
ii'ice of Mrs. Hoppergrass’ harsh
treatment came to my aid, and 1
rushed on as inexorable as fate.
At last we got to the gate, and 1
drove Jumbo in. The rascal ran
like a greedy pig (did anybody ev
er see any other kind of a pig—ex
cept a dead pig ?) to his mother,
and began to devour the milk so
rapidly that I feared he would get
it all; s> 1 ran with all my might,
yelling at the top of my voice, as
I went, for him to let up. Rose be
came frightened, and charged
around the lot, fearing, no douot,
that I had lost my senses —and it
did look that way. I still kept
running and yelling for her to
stop: but she didn't do it right
then.
You remember that I said that
I was mud ; well, that infernal cow
and calf worked me up to a fren
zy. 1 got me a good rawhide and
laid on to Rose’ hide. We went
charging round the barnyard at
this mad rate for about a quarter
of an hour. Mrs. Hoppergrass ran
to the door to ascertain what all
that rumpus meant, and hollered
out:
•"Mr. Hoppergrass, ain't you
ashamed of yourself, for treating
Rose that way! Do stop!’’
I foamed.
I told her to seek a warmer cli
mate, to ’tend to her own affairs,
and to do many other things
which I have since learned she
did not do, howevt r she did this :
She foamed.
My' attention was turned from
Mrs. H. by seeing Rose come to a
halt. I approached her. She shied
and started off again. I addressed
. her in that soft, sweet tone I some
, times employ in speaking to Mrs.
H. I remembered Mr. 11. had often
told me, "A soft answer turneth
away wrath,” the idea occured to
me that it would also turn away
fear. So I plead and beseeched
dear Rose to stop, that I was not
' mad, that 1 was only in fun. She
, was rather suspicious for awhile.
■ At last, however, she stood still,
and suffered me to approach,
which 1 did very gently. Jumbo
had followed her in her mad flight
around the yard and when Rose
’• came to a halt he went to work
j for dear life, just as if he had not
I i been in a pasture of rich clover all
Rfi’pight. That set my wrath in ac
’ five ebolution again, but I saw I
Ijnhad best keep it concealed from
BBhk£*' '".-I >h<' bt'-oine frightmii'd
and patted her, saying in a
sweet, conciliatory voice:
“Dear, sweet Rose, did you
think I was mad? No, no, dear
girl, not with you; you could not
do anything to anger me!” This 1
said to Rose. I could see Jumbo
on the other side of her just mak
ing that rich milk fly, I whispered
to him while 1 was trying to paci
fy Rose:
“You little devil! How I hate
you! I’ll have you for steak and
roast before sunset.”
But Jumbo did’nt heed my rath
er persona 1 remarks in the least.
I gave Rose another pat or two,
then stooped to get my share of the
milk, at the same time hunching
her in the Hanks to make her back
her leg. She did sopvith good grace
1 then turned my attention to get
ting Jumbo away from his moth
er, which I finaly succeeded in ac
complishing. I thought Rose was
completely pacified: I wished
afterwards that I had noticed the
devilished glitter in her eyes, but
I failed to do so. I was dreaning
the last teat when it occurred to
me that something hit me. I
could’nt tell whether I had been
struck by the lightning or whether
a bomb had bursted under me. I
think Rose must have been afflicted
with the hematosis and thought by
straightening out her leg very sud
denly she might get rid of the su
perfluous blood.
I had no idea that an awkward
ugly, and clumsy a thing as a cow
could kick so hard, I never had be
fore had gravitation to effect me
so forcibly. I found myself sprawl
ing in a pool of nasty, dirty, dark
water flat upon my back ; while
not ten seconds afterwards a deluge
of something wet was poured over
my face and body. I discovered
afterwards that that docile animal
had just sent the pail of milk over
me with her compliments.
I registered a vow in the chimney
corner that morning. Mrs. Hopper
grass overheard it (I do not accuse
my apouse of eavesdropping. I
scorn to say so mean a thing of my
wife; but I repeat, she overheard
me,) and that evening I decried
her with the milk pail hung over
her arm, gaily making her way to
the cowpen, calling in a musical
and somewhat classical tt>ne of
voice,
“Soocow ! soocow 1 cowench 1
Come, my bonay Rose, to your
evening meal.”
I did not molest her of her mis
sion. I read from afar the sublime
resignation on that angelic brow',
and I would fain to revoke all the
harsh sentiments I have allowed
mvself to betrav.
I have never milked since that
morning I treated Rose so cruelly:
1 never shall again, Sometimes
Mrs Hoppergrass has a hectic glow
about the size of an ordinary po
rus plaster on either cheek when
she comes in from the cow-lot; on
such occasions I refain from ques
tioning her, and she very prudent
ly keeps her own corner. We get
about three quarts of milk per day
now, but if Rose continues to
“give down” her milk for ten
longer, I fear Mrs. H. will
have to be conducted to her last
resting place, where the “wicked
cease from troubling” and the
cows are to milk no more.
PAUL REESE.
When traveling, alwnys take a cake
of Johnson's Oriental Soap w’ith you
diseases are often caught from using
In tel siap. For sale by J, T. Crouch
Co.
Tax Notice.
Notice is hereby given that the second half of
he tax upon real and personal property within
the city of Rome is now due; Payment to be
made at Clerks Office. City Hall-
Halsted Smita.
• f- Clerk of Council.
Application for Letters of Dis
mission.
Georgia, Floyd county;
Whereas Alexander Johnson, Administrator of
Joseph Sharpe represents to the court his peti
tion duly filed, that he has administered Joseph
Sharpe’s estate. This is to cite all persons con
cerned, kindred and creditors, to show cause, if
any they can, why said administrator should not
be discharged from his administration and re
ceive letters of dismission on the first Monday
in January 1864. This October Ist. 1894.
John P, Davis,
Ordinary Floyd County, Georgia. ;
Ist. d in for 3-m.
What’e tue u«e O’Kickiug when
vou can get fitted out from tip to [
toe at Cokers. Hat for $1 00. Suit
(ail wool) $15.00. Shoes solid
leather. $1 -00 iptal *7 pq i
THE HUSTLER OF ROME, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER, 30 1894.
The Populists Platform.
It’s a heap of consol it ion in this
general stagnation, when wr find
a felloiv mortal, an official, or a
State,
Th«t we can just g,-t a shot at,
curse, belabor, and get‘hot at
we can stand so much butter the
unhappy frowns of fate.
How it fosters resignation if the
tide* of emigration strands our
barque upon a. sand bar, where
it seldom rains or snows
I'o attribute lack of rations to the
bank and corporations—tiow the
fireside faces brighten ! what in
telligence it shows!
What we want’s aclap of thunder
that will burst the banks aseun
der—a division of the plunder is
the thing for which we sigh.
But to ta'k of thrift or labor, that
may help to feed my neighbor,
but foi me, I must confess, I’te
a little bit too dry.
I’me a true-born politician, and it
plainly is my mission to secure
a seat in Congress when my
bleeding country calls.
This is why I am engaging in the
wirthe Pops are waging, though
me north-west winds are raging
in my summer overalls - Mart
Howe in Memphis Scimtar.
ALMOST A NEW YORK DAILY
That Democratic wonder. The
New York Weekly World, has just
changed its weekly into a twice a
w r eek paper and you can now get
the two papers and the weekly
courier for the same old price
SI.OO a year.
Think of it! The news from New
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three days—ls 6 papers a year.
We have made arrangements by
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courier and the twice-a-week New
York World all for SI.OO a year.
Here is the opportunity to get
your own local paper and The New-
York World twice every week at
extraordinary low- rate-.
BEW ARE OF OINTMENTS FOR( A
TAKRH THATCONTAIN MERCCRV
as mercury will surely destroy th
sense of smell and completely de
range the whole system when e'n
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faces. Such articles should never
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from reputable physicians, as the
damage they will do is ten fold to
the good you can possibly derive
from them. Hall’s Catarrh Cure
manufactured by F. J. Cheney &
Co,, Toledo, 0., contains no mer
cury, and is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system.
In buying Hall’s Catarrh Cure ba
sure you get the genuine. It is
taken internally and is made in
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NORTH GEORGIA
Ipaltai Cfe,
DEPARTMENT* OF THE UNIVERSITY,
At Gahlonega, Georgia.
Sprin- term begins first Monday In February.
Fall term begins first Monday In September.
FULL LITERARY COURSES.
TUITION FBEE
V th ample corps of teachers.
THRPI'SH MILITARY TRAINING
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Departments of Business, Short
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Music and Art.
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iOUNG LADIES have equal advantages.
CHEAPEST COLLEGE in the SOUTH
For catalogues and full information ad
dress Secretary or Tr-hun-ar ..f n
>FHE BIGGEST®
%
THING I3sr ROME
-4-* •McDonald-SparksStewart-Company.**4~
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*-A. N1) •>
X /
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it is a pleasure to show you these goods. Call
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Undertaking. Coffins. Caskels &
Having purchased the complete Undertaking bus
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t O Q *