Newspaper Page Text
PAGE 4.
THE FUTURE CITIZEN.
No
r
FED □£==][
——— li ■ — ■■ " 1 1
Use ahd Abuse of Self-conceit in Children Preplexing Problem
m By DOROTHY DIX "in the ATLANTA GEORGIAN T |
11!=! i=u==n=c=n====IB=^^=iUH=H^^^^S]E 1 "-11"
O ' NE of the most perplexing
problems that parents con
front in rearing a child is
whether to foster or sup
press his self-conceit.
This is a modern psychological
trouble. The question never both
ered our ancestors. They held that
it was a parent’s first duty to bring
up a child in humility, and to point
out to him his defects and short
comings in a way to exterminate
every particle of vanity in his soul.
Thus, if a girl was homely, her
mother dwelt upon her lack of good
looks and assured her she’d never
catch a husband. If she was awk
ward, her family commented on it
with the cruel candor displayed on
ly by one’s ne.-.rest relatives. If a
boy were a little slow in learning,
his father impressed on him that he
was a fool. If he were timid of
nature, he was twitted for being a
coward, and if either girl or boy
had any shining attractions or vir
tues, it was held little short of a sin
to mention them.
Our parents did only what they
conceived to be their duty in cul
tivating a meek spirit within us,
but many of us bear the scars from
their scourging on our souls. Child
ren are abnormally self-conscious
uod sensitive to criticism. Their
households are their lit tie worlds,
and nothing that the big world ever
does to you in later life ever cuts to
the quick as did being held up to
scorn in your helpless youth.
I know a handsome woman who
would be a regal beauty except
that she holds herself 50 per cent
off of her looks instead of 20 per
cent over them, because she has
never been able to get over having
been habitually addressed by her
mother as “you ugly little thing”
when she wus a child. 1 know* an
other woman who still falls over her
feet when she walks because the
idea that she was awkward was
so ingrained in her youth that she
lias never conqured her one defect,
and I know many men who only
lack self-confidence to make them
successes instead of failures.
Of course, blatant self-conceit is
one of the most intolerable of faults,
especially in the young. There is
no one whose society we so lothe
and whom we go so tar to avoid
meeting as the individual whose
conversation is one big “1.” Yet
ut the same time it is not to be de
nied that most successful people are
egregious egotists.
We can only do what we think
we can do, and the measure ot our
achievements is the measure of the
things that we think we can achieve
We must believe absolutely in our
selves before we can inspire the
confidence of others in us.
These bromidic truths should be
taken into consideration by parents
before they set a remorseless heel on
their children’s vanity, for it is an
indisputable fact that to make a
girl or boy believe that she or he is
inferior to otners dooms her or him
to a second place in the world.
We got only what we demand
from our fellow creatures. If we
are shy and depreciating and hang
back, nobody is going to push us
forward. Still less are they going
to insist on conferring on us any of
the laurel crowns of life.
It would be interesting to know
how many of the failures that we
see all about us are the direct results
of the conscientious efforts of par
ents to suppress self-conceit in their
children. Here is a man of talent,
but he lacks “push,” because in his
childhood he was taught to be hum
ble and stand aside for other people.
Here is a man at whose door oppor
tunity knocks, but he doesn’t an
swer the call, because lie is afraid.
His nerve was destroyed by his
having had his faith in his own
ability dest royed when he was a boy
Here is another man who never lets
the world find out how great his real
abilities are because he is timid and
reserved, made that way by his par
ents continually reminding him of
his faults.
On the contrary, it is the bold,
the aggressive, those who have faith
in their own abilities, who succeed.
Those who win ouc are the people
who believe they can win and go
in to win, and who are assailed by
no doubts as to their own superla
live ability.
Of course, there is a very fine and
delicate line to be drawn, on one
side of which is proper self-confi
dence and on the other self-conceit.
The ideal condition is for a man or
woman to esteem himself or her
self highly, but not too highly,
to have faith in his or her ability,
but not to be egotistic. Like other
ideals, this is seldom realized, and
it's too subtle a distinction to be
made plain to any child.
Therefore, just as a good work
ing proposition it is better to en
courage a child’s self-conceit than
it is to suppress it. By the time he
or she has fought his or her battle
with the world the world will have
pruned down the self-conceit into
self-confidence.
After all, self-conceit is the
greatest motive power in the uni
verse. Vanity and the desire to
show off have been the real main
spring of nine-tenths of the big
things that have ever been done.
It is because he had to deliver the
goods that has made many a boaster
a great man. Parents do well to
consider this phase of the subject
before they try to suppress self-con
ceit in their children. The egotist
may not be a lovely, altruistic char
acter, but he gets there.
“Blest Be the Tie”
Not one in a thousand who sings
the old hymn, “Blest be the Tie
that Binds” knows its history. It
was written by Rev. John Fawcett,
who, in the eighteenth century,
was the pastor of a poor church in
Yorkshire England.
In 177 2 llc felt obliged to accept
a call to a London church. His fare
well sermon had been preached,
six wagons loaded with furniture
and books stood by the door, his
congregation, men, women, and
children were in agony of tears
Looking up Mrs. Fawcett said;
| “Oh, John, John, I cannot bear
this! 1 know not where to go!”
“Nor I,” said he, “nor will we
go. Unload the wagons and put
everything back.”
His letter of acceptance was re
called ; and he wrote this hymn to
commemorate the episode.—Herald
The Tipping Koad Leads by the House ot Mendicancy lo the Station of Dishonesty'
