Newspaper Page Text
THE LINCOLNTON NEWS
VOLUME VI. NUMBER 50 .
The village of Ilavcrstraw, on the
Hudson, manufactures more bricks than
any other place in the world.
Spain celebrated the sailing of the in¬
vincible Armada as well as England.
The Spanish claim that the fleet was
jimply a fishing excursion.
4k
A punctilious French highway robber
stooped to apologize to his victim, and
the victim noticed the fact that he was
bow-legged. He gave the police this
pointer and the right man wa3 soon in
limbo.
“A native author called Roe,” was
Matthew Arno’d’s sneering allusion to
to the novelist who so soon followed the
English litterateur to the grave. E. P.
Roe accepted the designation and wrote
an autobiographical sketch under that
heading, which was completed only a
few days before his death.
There is in Lake County, Mich., a co¬
operative telegraph line, which began
by two farmers connecting their houses
with a wirfi, and which has extended, un¬
til now it has sixty-five miles of wire
and ninety offices, two-thirds of which
are in farmhouses and the others in
stores where farmers trade.
The ex-Confedorate colony in Sew
York continues to grow, At almost
every social gathering may be seen one
or two men who won the title of general
when they wore the gray. She Southern
society, started a short time ago, now
has a membership of hundreds, and will
soon have^a building of its own.
The Houston Post claims that Texas
can produce within its own borders food
amply sufficient for the support of 25,
000,000 people. It has a climate adapted
not only to the productions of the
temperate zone, but to those of
semi-tropical character as well. It
has timber as well as coal, silver,
copper and other minerals in almost ex¬
haustive abundance.
Miss Alice B. Farley, of Port Hudson,
La., is a fragile little woman physically,
but she has strength of mind enough to
conduct a large cotton plantation suc¬
cessfully. She threw into planting all
the enthusiasm and perseverance many
‘women bestow in acquiring feminine ac¬
complishments, and to-day no cotton
prcducedin the State ranks higher thaD
that which comes from her plantation.
It appears that republican simplicity
does not characterize the journeyings of
President Carnot, of France, in the prov¬
inces. What with a considerable ret¬
inue, generous dinners to the digni¬
taries of the towns which lender him
hospitality, and gifts to the poor, he is
said to do full justice to the annual ap¬
propriation of $00,000 for traveling ex
penses. _
The mineral output of the country fot
1887, according tc the statement made
by the Division oi MJniug Statistics, is
much greater in valtvs than that of 1883,
and is worth $100,000,007 more than
that, of 1S85. This is a gratifying ex¬
hibit, but is unfortunately coupled with
the statement that there will be a de¬
crease in the metal product this year
owing to the decline in railroad build¬
ing
_
The French census reported 180 per¬
sons who were 100 years old or over, but
M. I-evasseur, who has been investigating
the matter, reports to the Academy of
Sciences that sixty-seven of these were
only “believed” to be so by their rela¬
tives, and that there were only sixteen
whom age could be proven to be over
100 years by authentic documents. He
estimates that there arc not over fifty,
centenarians in the country.
Russian is diligently studied in Ger¬
many, and by a large number of people
iu England likewise. At the Berlin
Military Academy it is obligatory, aud it
is spoken a good deal in military circles
all over the country, There is m Ger
many a ^constant demand for Russian
speaking journalists, since all the prin¬
cipal newspapers keepa careful eye upon
Russian affairs. In the English army
special inducements are held out to
offlceis to learn Russian; and, according
to a St. Petersburg journal, many young
English officers are so eager to learn the
Muscovite tongue that when they happen
to be stationed in a town where no in¬
structor is to be had, they spell out the
Russian Bible by the aid of a English
one.
Says the New York Oraphic: “This
is a great year for preachers’ sons. Grover
Cleveland, Democratic candidate for the
Presidency, is the son of a Presbyterian
clergyman, Allen G. Thurman, ditto
for the Vice-Presidency, is the son of a
Methodist clergyman. Benjamin Har¬
rison, Republican candidate for the
Presidency,is . the son-in-law . of aPresby- ,
terian clergyman. Levi P. Morton, ditto
for the Vice-Presidency, is the son of a
Congregafional * T—___ clergyman. "f Calvin S.
n Bnco, • Chairman of the t v„ t- Democratic
Executive Committee in charge of the
campaign, is the son of a Presbyterian
clergyman, Matthew Stanley Quay, :
Chairman of the Republican National
Committee, is also the son of a Presby
lerian clergyman.”
DEVOTED TO THE INTEREST OF LINCOLN COUNTY.
THE -WORLD.
A playground—oft with clouded skies,
That o’er the rosebuds weep,
Where little troubles take the weight
Of sorrows far more deep;
Where loved toys break in tiny hands—
Sad symbols of the time
When hope shall cheat and joys depart
In life’s swift passing prime.
A battlefield where forests meet,
And unseen hosts contend.
With truces all so short, they seem
With the wild strife to blend;
Strife that leaves none of us unscathed,
Where’er the mastery be;
But who, till the Great Day, can tell
With whom is victory? ",
A graveyard, where on every side
Pale monuments arise
To show how brief is human life,
How vain is all we prize.
A graveyard filled by memory,
Where phantoms lightly tread,
But each one points with finger raised
To blue skies overhead.
—Camilla Crosland.
“PAMELY’S GRIT” -
by iiebbert if. winslow.
The narrow Missouri prairie lay bathed
sunshine, its green waveadotted with
flowers. In the surrounding
too, the flowers grew and budded
and blossomed in due season, although
no human eye might be gladdened by
beauty. A few farms interrupted
of unbroken sod, their pio
abodes near the wooded bluffs skirt
one side of the plain.
In the doorway of a primitive log
cabin a young girl stood, with her
filled with wild flowers freshly gathered.
She sat down on the rude step, and be
gan to arrange them with evident pleas
ure, if with little reference to the laws
of color.
The monotonous creak of a rocking
chair sounded within the room. It sud
denly ceased and a piping voice called
sharply, “Pamely! 0 Pamely:"
“I’m right hyer, gran’daddy! D’ye
want me;” responded the girl, dropping
her apronful of flowers on the step, and
turning quickly around.
intertherhousefur?” “Whateryer Backing thet thar trash
croaked the weazen
faced little old man in the corner. “They
ain’t no sich posies ez we hed in Indiany
whenl was a boy.”
“Ilike’em, feel gran’daddy. They make
me better to hoi’ ’em in my hands.”
“You mought be doin’ somethin’ fur
yer ole gran’daddy, ’stid o’ wasting yer
time on thet trash!” querulously piped
the old man.
“What d’ye want, gran’daddy?” asked
the girl, running to him, and throwing
her aims around his shrunken shoulders.
“Areye gittin’ hungry agin!”
“I reckon I mought starve ter death
’most any time ef ’twa’n’t fur ye, Pame
ly- Ry, he never done nothin’ fur me.
He brung me well water yistiddy, when
he knowed he’d orter went ter ther
spring.” hez
“Hy ter work hard, ye know,
gran’daddy.” sharp
A expression _ came over the
grandfather’s face.
“What’s thet slick chap frum Bluff
City a-doin’ roun’ hyer all ther time,
Pamely?”
The young girl grew pink and then
pale a.ged under the keen scrutiny of those
eyes.
‘•He’s gf in’ter buy Duck Hawkins’s
farm, I allow,” she replied, pulling nerv
ously at her apron strings.
“What uz he come hyer fur ter buy
Duck Hawkins’s farm? We haint got
Duck Hawkins’s farm done up in er
bundle anywheres roun’ hyer, hev we,
Pan-.ely?”
merrily, “O gran’daddy,” laughed the girl,
“yer alius sayin, troubled somethin’thet
funny drove i” Then a expression
the dimpleout of herround cheeks.
“I dunno, raaly; but Hy, he’s a-talkin’
about sellin’ourn, too. He allows’twould
be better to sell out, an’go West. He
could git heaps more land out West.”
The old man pounded his knotty
hickory stick on the pine floor furiously,
“Ef Hy Todbeater pulls up stakes an’
moves Indiany, agin, thet’s I’ll make back tracks for
what I will!” he declared,
with vehemence.
ter “O gran’daddy, ther aint nobody there
take keer of ye 1 They’re all dead an’
gone; ye ll hev ter go’long er Hy an’
me!” t-he stooped and pressed her red
lips against his withered cheek, and
smoothed his thin, white locks with her
brown fingers. Then, wiping her eyes
on a comer of her gingham apron, she
stepped ing briskly around the room, paus
one moment to place the flowers in
a broken pitcher half full of water from
the spring.
“I’m fifteen tcr-day,” she said softly
to herself, placing the pitcher on the pine
table. Some vague connection between
the birthday and the blossoms existed in
her youthful imagination; why, she could
not have explained. No celebration of
any such anniversary had ever been hers.
Certainly, hard work and premature care
had been her lot the past three years.
Hy Todbeater at that moment was
slouching “Palace Hotel” around of the entrance to the
Bluff City, five mile3
away. If any one had asked h’m the age
of his young house-keeper, who was also
his sister and the only one left, he would
probably definite have been A unable to give any
inhabitants reply. sense of inferiority to
the of Bluff City, against
which he struggled with backwoods
bravado, lent additional awkwardness to
his demeanor.
The hotel clerk, with his hair plastered
low on his forehead, aud a cheap pin
glittering on his bright blue tie, seemed
a consequential far personage. Yet the Pal
ace Hotel was from palatial, with its
two low stories of wood, its whitewashed
interior, its meagre air of bustling im
portance, its seedy boardeis and stray
travelers. Only the added d ; gnity of
the County Court in session swelled all
activity impressed to an unaccustomed degree, and
the country visitors who
lounged about the attractive resorts of
pi u fi city with a sense of its metropoli
tan “Right grandeur. o’ hyer
smart folks in ther city
to da y ! ” ventured Ily Todbeater to the
overpowering clerk.
“Full to the roof," he responded,
loftily, his thoughts limited to tne pros
perity of the hotel. “Got a case in
court, Mr Todbeater?”
“Naw,” the replied “Mought the settler, hev shambling hed
across room. oz
well ez not, too. Duck Hawkins’s sheep
they’ve been runnin’ in my pastur’ half
LINCOLNTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1888.
ther time lately, an’ I’d ’a’ sued ’im fur
it sureef it hadn’t been fur Pamely erpin- bein’
so sot agin it. Pamely haint no
ion o’ ther law, she hain’t. I ’lowed ther
wa’nt no reason why I shouldn’t hev a
case in court ez well ez some other
lers ez hezn’t no more proputty’n I hev.
I guv it up, though; no use tryin’ ther ter
fight Duck Hawkins ’n’ Pamely et
same time.”
“Hullo, Jim Carroll!” cried the clerk,
familiarly.
A young man of easy appearance’en
tered the room, and at once greeted Hy
Todbeater as an acquaintance. He if was
well dressed and even attractive, one
avoided looking into his eyes. He drew
the settler along hurriedly toward one of
the row of wagons encircling the squaie, be
and then told him to stop a moment
fore the most pretentious store. He came
out with a large package in his hand,
and took a seat beside the settler.
“Drive on?” he said
“You’re a rich man Hy Todbeater?”
“I allow it’ll be all right ef Pamely
don’t”—reluctantly hesitated the other,
“Oh, I’ll see to that!” said the young
man, with great confidence. “I’ve got
It’s something birthday here that’ll make know. it all right.
a present, you She
told me it was to dav, and I had this all
ready.”
if Hy’s jaw dropped idea him. in astonishment;- clucked
was a new to He
^ ie fid sorrel, an( l slapped the lines
laziI y. evidently overcome with the
endeavor to grasp all the new ideas
w-liich had recently been thrust into his
unaccustomed brain,
of Granddaddy porridge. sat beaming over a dish
that hot
^® . t / ’ 3 .J er , hat er f a ^ m P be ter ' hanc J P" buckled md p e t
’
tbe old “J® 11, T1 t l er ca tl c no ? al Ueat
grqp darter, ef T I do , say it, nary
tlme -
who Pamely turned toward Jim Carroll,
entered the open door without the
formality her of a knock. A blush covered
cheeks, but her smile vanished while
she set out a chair for the guest.
“You see, I haven’t forgotten your
birthday!” he exclaimed, gaily, holding
out the package significantly.
Pamely slowly reached out her hand
to receive the proffered gift, her young
heart stifled with one great throb of joy
ous Her surprise. fingers seemed unable
to loosea
the cord. He snatched it from her to
tear off the wrappings, and held up and
allowed to trail on the well-scrubbed
floor the briiliant folds of a new merino
Her dark Blue eyes grew round and
black with astonishment and admiration,
She glanced down at her faded calico
skirt, and the contrast seemed too great,
Never in her life had she possessed such
a beautiful gown. Then'she lifted her
lidded f^ce to look straight into the heavy
eyes of Jim Carroll. A sudden
change came over her; she shrank back
awkwardly. don’t
“I reckon I want no new dresses
jist .. now, Mr. Carroll. Per kin give it to
some one in Bluff City ez needs it.”
She turned hastily, entered the other
room, closed the door, and left • the
young defeat. man, suffering the humiliation of
^ was late in the _ evening when Jim
Carroll left Hy Todbeater leaning against
the rails of the zig-zag fence behind the
barn.
“Have it all ready,” he repeated, as he
turned away, “I’ll bring the captain out
in the morning.
“la as,” drawled the settler, “I
reckon it’ll be all right ef Pamely”—he
slunk around the barn in the path lead
ing to the spring without completing his
sentence.
fhick The edge of the woods was full of
shadows when lamely hastened
along daddy’s the desire same for path drink to gratify gran’- from
a of water
the spring. The moon had risen and a
silvery ray penetrated the overhanging
foliage, and fell on the clear water as the
rested g lr l dipped her tin pail shining in its depths. It
also on some substance
half-imbedded in the earth near the
water’s edge. She had never discovered
i® before, and now stooped and picked it
U rough P. surprised and to find it so heavy. It which was
gray save on one side,
exhibited some silvery bits of surface.
She was about to retrace her steps when
a dark figure crouching behind a tree
caught her gaze. A quick when throb of flap- fear
was followed by surprise the
pi“g straw hat revealed to her acute
vision dividual. the identity of the prowling in
“What’n ther world er yc doin’ out
hyer this time er night?” she questioned,
“I allow-ed yer wuz roun’ with Jim
Carroll.”
“it’s “Naw,” thet sheepishly reckoned replied . her brother;
hot 1 it ud be cooler
under the trees.”
“\e mus’ wanter be eat up by ther
skeeters,Hy; what’er yer doin’ with thet
ther fire-shovel?”
“Jest hed it in my hand au’ brung it
’long; gold diggin’ter roun’ in these see ef parts,” ther mought added, be
any he
with an awkward chuckle.
“Did yc find any rocks like this hyer?”
she asked, holding up the shining bit
she had found.
anxious “Heapson ’em,’’said virtue Hy, seemingly
to make a of confession.
“Got’em in my pocket,” and he pro
ceeded to pull out a handful of similar
pieces. land, “Fact hevin’sich is, Pamely, this ez vally
ble sights o’lead ore
lyin’ roun’ loose, ef it ain’t ez slick ez
Duck Hawkins’s 1 It’ll bring er big price,
sure ez shootin’ 1”
“When d’ye find it _ out—ther lead ore
bein’hyer?” questioned day; Pamely.
“Jest ther other I wuz a-sayin’
ter myself: ‘What’s the reason ther aint
lead ore on this hyer land ez well ez
over in the next county?’an’hyer it ez,
fertrue. Ye kin hev everything ye want
out in Montany, everyday. an’ gran’daddy kin hev
chicken-fixin’s I reckon ye
want ter make gran’daddy contented
like,” “I do cautiously thet,” said appealed the girl, the earnestly,as man.
she turned dipped a fresh pail of water and
away. Pamely!”sounded shrilly
“Pamely 1 O
through the open door of the cabin.
“Cornin’!” cried Pamely, hastening on
through the shadows, slowly followed
by the shuffling foot-steps of Hy Tod
beater.
Her care rendered the old man com
f ortable f or the night. In the morning
she waited upon him through the simple
breakfast,and then followed her brother
as he went to the smoke-house across
from the kitchen door. Gran’daddy was
somewhat deaf, but he rarely failed to
hear designed distinctly for his any benefit. words not specially
“We’re on the las’ nothin’ piece ov bacon, Hy;
an’ Hy, say, tiler’s wrong ’bout
sellin’ ther farm, cz ther?” she queried,
tremulously. fool-notions
“Who’s ben a-putt : n’ in¬
ter yer head?” excitedly questioned the
man.
hyer “Nobody liez; but Ily—Jim Carroll’s
talkin’ ter ye so much—"n I wisht
he’d go erway.”
“fcho!” said her brother, derisively,
“’Jim’s er friend ter me—he’s goin’ ter
bring Cap’in Colby out ter buy the farm
ter-day ; an’ don t ye go an’ spile the
las , fall-—telhn ? ], e y®. , n the ® hout Methodis ther ole preacher sorrel
e/ “°w he wuz lame half ther winter—
‘whatfurshdl ? T spile ther trade?”
asked the girl, with a penetrating glance,
“Wal, see tyc don tbriefly returned
~® settler, as he shambled oil to the
barn.
Pamely slowly re-entered the cheerless
rooms. If the farm brought a good price
she might have as comfortable a home as
some of her neighbors had, and every
thing to suit gran daddy. Perhaps even
lovelinessshebad ^ e * thoughts reverted to a vision of
seen in Captain Colby’s
carriage, the graceful girl who never
wore anything less elegant than the
merino dress which Jim Carroll had of¬
fered for a birthday present. That was
what money could do.
An hour later Jim Carroll again made
his appearance, and another conversation
with Hy Todbeater occurred behind the
barn. Pamely saw Captain Colby’s car¬
riage Bluff come City, and winding stood along the road
overcome with em¬
barrassment, for beside him sat the
voung lady. Stopping before the door,
the Captain asked politely if his daugh
ter might remain there while he looked
over t3le f ann
p possible ame lv pulled her her faded skirts as low
as over bare feet, and in
utter confusion placed a cha r for the
visitor and retreated to the further side
0 f the room. The young lady moved
her seat over bv gran’daddy’s side, and
with the instinctive deference due to a<m °
addressed her conversation to him
“I am glad farm,” you she have said, found lead ore
on “because your will verv sweetly,
price.” it bring you abetter
“Yaas, we’re wantin’ some monev
riglxt fifleutial bad,” he replied, flattered into cou
frankness bv the atte .tion.
We wuz well fixed back in Indiany, but
Hy, he ain’t nigh so smart ez his daddy
wuz, an’we're lackin’fur things ter eat
an’ drink an’ wear. I haint; hed no de
cent terback’n mv pipe goin’ on three
months—thet’s what I haint!”
Pamely blushed painfully, and sudden
ly retreated to the other room, making
pretence of important work about the
stove.
tain’s Itseemedalongt’mebeforetheCap- accompanied
return, by her broth
er and Jim Carroll, i y called out for
pen and ink. The girl did not seem to
hear, but stood motionless, her eves
downcast, by the window. lie repeated
the request more roughly, as though
fearing disobedience to his' orders, but
this time she placed the desired articles
0 n the table and turned slowly awav.
sympathetically Captain Colby’s daughter, glancing
toward her, uoticed that
the girl was becoming more nervous
every moment. Her brown hands were
clasped tightly together and a fright
ened look came into her eves.
“Of course I wouldn’t give any such
price if said it wasn’t for the presence of lead
ore,” the Captain. “These are eer
tainly very good specimens,” turning
over the pieces in his hands, “and they
indicate quite a vein.” The captain bent
over and dipped the pen in the ink
bottle.
“Stop!” cried Pamely, triumphing
over all shyness and fear, as she sprang
forward with outstretched hands: “Ther
ain’t no lead on ther farm!”
There was a moment’s silence. Cap
tain Colby held the pen motionless in his
fingers; chair even still. gran’daddy’s rocking
was Then Hy Todbeater
sprang to his feet,
nail” he burst forth, “air ye struck
silly ?”
Pamely stood speechless, her eyes fixed
0 n the floor,
“Don’t be afraid, mv child, what do
you mean!” said the captain, kindly,
“It wuz all ’long er Jim Carroll!” sho
half sobbed; “he brutin-it there!”
Then she looked at her brother.
“o Hv, 1 couldn’t help it! I hearn
ye talkin' roun’ ther barn this mornin’
when I went ter hunt eggs fur <>ran’
daddy.”
Hy’s wrath for once overcame the awk
ward ness of his appearance; he towered
high with unuttered rage aud turned to
Jim Carroll for assistance in this unex
pected emergency—hut that youngman
fiad discreetly vanished, never to return,
“j mought cr knowed Pamely’d spilo
the trade someways,” he finallyre
marked, quite crestfallen; “she’s thet
full’o notions.”
“it would be better if you shared soruo
0 f them,” said the Captain, severely,
“F 01 - - ner sa ks I will let all this pass: blit
1 advise you to keep clear of sharp
who make yourself a living by drawing
weak men like into some
swindling scheme. I will bid you good
sir.”
it was a bad three months for Pamela
followed,and would have been more
if Miss Colby had not opened and for her
a new life hy means of books news
and made gran’daddy jubilant
a weekly consignment of dainties
“the city.”
One day, however, Hy came borne with
shuffle and more manliness in his
and walked straight up to
and astonished her by a clumsy
“I reckon ye wuz’bout right, Pamely,
Ther new railroad ez cornin’
an’they northeast ’low ter pay me er big
fur the corner fur a sta
Land’s riz all eround and they’ve
0 t er boom in Bluff City. Duck Haw
hez hed hard luck out in Montany an’
he hedn’t sold his farm. I wuz
riled, but I’m mighty glad now
hed the grit.”
Like many other men Hy Todbeater
in the success which follows
If at any time his conscience
to perforin its shed duty, a box of lead
in the wood is a constant re¬
to keep him iu the path of recti¬
— Youth's Compan ion.
Says Sam Jones: “Thank God it is no
to be ugly. makes Wheu her God symmetri¬ wants a
woman ho as
cal as an angel, but when he wants a
man he makes him as ugly as a mud
I never saw a pretty man yet who
•was worth killing.”
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FRO >5
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Her Wit Was Her Fortune —Ail
Unnoticed Effect—A Sedative
for His Wife — A Con¬
V templated Mark.
“Where are you going to, my girl, tailor
made?”
“Oh, I’m going to Newport, Er,” she said,
“And what will you do there, my girl,tailor
‘‘Why, fish for a husband, good sir,” she
said ____
“Eut where do you come from, my girl,
tailor-made?”
“Oh, I come from \assar, good sir, ’she
Baxd
“Where is your baggage, my girl, tailor
made?’
“It s there on the lighter, good sir,” she
said.
“How many boxes, my girl, tailor-made?”
‘ I’ve thirty-six trunks, sir,” the maiden
said.
“Why, a boat couldn't carry them, my
pretty maid !”
“Then I'll charter a couple, good sir,” she
said.
B made^ , ave ^ “ . th8m ’ my gir1, bulor .. '
“My said. bonnets and dresses, good sir,” she
“But you can’t wear them all,my girl,tailor
made?”
“Toucan bet your sweet life that I will,”
“And Isthat your fortune,my pretty maid?”
“My wit is my fortune, sir;” she said.
—The Ocean.
An Unnoticed Effect.
“Your singing is delightful, Miss
Ethel,” said 3Ir. Bore. “It fairly car¬
ries me away.”
“Indeed?” returned Miss Ethel, with
a hadn't yearning glance it.”— at the clock. “I
noticed Harp.r's Baiar.
A Sedative for His Wife.
Mr. Caudle—“Doctor, I want »/wif.r you to
p«t »p . the powerful best sedative for
give me soeciac for insomnia
,hc “ !,er! c "' 1
1 LOt 1
cant. ax. date.
A Contemplated Mark.
Little Constance (to Bagby, who is a
very desirable catchi-“Better shoot
Ca Bagby-“Why‘ Constfnce?
Is vour
sister such capital '
a shot?”
Constance—“Oh, I don’t know about
that; but she said to papa and mamma
that she had a good beau, and intended
to shoot for the gold ° in earnest.”
Judge. - -
A Timely Sug«estion.
picture Customer (to photographer)-“I with want
a taken my beard on as it
is, and afterward I will get shaved and
have it taken w.thout the beard.”
there Photographer (rushed)—“Well, three ahead er, as
are two or of you, I
would suggest, sir. that while I am tak
slaved nuw. Philip ‘SV-rr* U. IWrf. *“
Hard on the Doctor.
Old man to young doctor.—“Good
morning, Doctor. How d’y’do? Don't
you attend old man Jones?”
Doctor.—“Yes, sir.”
Old man (Innocently)—“now ia he
getting the along? My wife day has been look
mg in paper every for six months
to see his death notice.
loung doctor collapses— Washington
hrdi:.
Just the Difference.
Gubbins, in one of the rare moments
he devotes to the cultivation of his in¬
tellect, was reading aloud from a work
on natural history.
“The camel is an animal that can
work a week without drinking”
“And I,” remarked Gubbins, com
menting on the text, “I am au animal
that can drink a week without work
j nrr i! Judo •
Misinterpreted the Professor.
“Go with me, Miss Laura,” said the
professor, glowingly, “to the vmeclad
hills of
“Do vou mean it,professor?” exclaimed
the deUghted girl, preparing to throw
herself in his arms
».-In imagination. Walk, as I have
walked among the simple hearted peas
antry of Normandy. Converse with them
in their native tongue, and then itself argue,
if vou can, that poverty is in a
curse!” '
“It is all quite charming rel.piiiig no doubt,”
led Min Chicago Urn a,, Tribune. Into dnar,
apathy. —
And Alary Didn't Refuse.
Mary.—“Don’t shop you he dislike to have a
man talk when comes to see vou?”
Jennie.—“Indeed, I do! Who’s*been
'
talking shop to you?”
Alary.—“Oh, conductor, my young turn. He’s a
street-car vou know, and
nearly every time he comes to see me he
gets off his shop talk.” does
Jeunic.-“What lie say?”
Alary.—“Sit closer, please."—Burling- ‘
in,, 0
’
In Hard Luck.
“How are you coming on in business?”
asked a gentleman of a Dallas merchant.
“I am having a hard time of it. Luck
is agatnst me.”
“How so?”
“Didn’t you hear how burglars broke
open the store and robbed my rival over
the way? Just ihiuk of what a lot of
free advertising he gets. I don’t want
to fail, and get rich, but I’m being driven
to it .”—Texas Siftings.
One Serious Defcot.
Young Maud, y Lawyer think (to pretty have cousin)— perfectly
A es, , I I
ap pom ted office. 1 hat desk alone cost
ouchundred dollars.
Pretty Cousin (looking about with , evi- .
dent admiration)-**Acs, Charley, its a
lovely room; but I notice one serious
defect.
A oung Lawyer-“What’s that,Aland’’
Pretty Cousin The absence of
clients.” Drake s Magazine.
Ho Was Used to It.
“What makes you wear that old
fashioned felt hat?” asked one man of
another on Clark street.
“Well, you see, my wife fancies that
style of hat, so 1 have to get it.”
“But I wouldn’t be dictated to in that
manner.” ...
“You wouldn’t be dictated to?"
“No, sir.”
“Well, in my business you get used to
“WhaUs your^business?” .”—Merchant Trar
(hr. ‘Tm a stenographer = r
One of Fortune’s Favorites.
“ Youngman,” he said, “do you re
spect the fair sex, as all young men
should ?”
“I do, indeed, responded the young
man, with emotion. “And there is one
of tbe fair sex, sir, whom I not only re
spect hut adore, and she adores me.”
“You are fortunate.”
“Fortunate is no name for it, my
“tnerahle friend. Vv hy, in the summer
rime that girl clerk3 in an ice cream and
confectionery shop, and in the winter
she is cashier in an oyster saloon.”—
Epoch.
Two Sides ot Humanity.
Omaha Miss fat a seaside resort)—
“What a lot of wedding parties there
are here.”
Experienced Dame—“I thought so at
first, but I see bow that I was mistaken.
Most of the couples are only engaged.”
“Omaha Miss—“Why. how can you
tell the difference so quickly. ’
Experienced Dame—“Where dear, a couple
are looks engaged, the my the gentleman lady;
after comfort of the
when they are married the lady looks
a fter the comfort of the gentleman.—
Omaha World.
-
Johnny Was All Right.
“You don’t eut a great deal, my little
man,’’ said the minister, who was taking
dinner with Johnny’s parents.
“No. sir; don’t need to.”
another “Perhaps Tanner you are and training to be
Dr. fast forty day3.”
“Forty days ain’t nothing.'’
“Johnny, don’t talk nonsense,” inter¬
posed his mother.
J - ma ’ .V™’ 4 . aI! <2 ’’;
wa , er •»
•sSs
-But it isn't a store. uttcle
Ned. who is captain of an ocean steamer.
I guess, ma, he s lived on water more n
a month often.”— Merchant Traveler.
A Fatal Mistake.
Mrs. Jacob S—, an estimable woman
lmn S ™ a f ja11 [ 0WQ 111 lhe ^ ® st ' dis ’
covered early in her matrimonial career
that she had not been fortunate in her
® h ° Ice excessively of a husband, for and Jacob pioved do
to be lazv shift.ess,
ing almost noth ng for tbe support of
his wife and the round-faced little
children.
tever al af4er her mar ria 2 e 3Irs ’
- b , ht d f * h .
-- f ® f
£ f Jenn ie Kra !c ’ tbe da;, f htor f a
, . he rl day
T s g g g ‘
"c. - r J- 1
‘ ‘
,, ! n 3- r , , ? ,„
ntarfiheS™ihoMhe . V , ’ . ’. , ‘ **’ -
1
™.
..yell, Sheonie," said M» S--“it
would be veil for you to clink dwice be¬
fore “Did you marry think anypody.” twice when
you about it
you were married?” asked Jennie, rather
resenting the intimation that she had
not made a wise choice.
afte J Sme^littl^’hrtiStton? 1 "''■ I _ dTd
djnk dw ; ce< Shenn’e, but I made von
grade | mtestake, vou dink g;ade meestake,
hennie . : did not der second
time until after I vas married .”—Detroit
Free Press.
(Jueer Deep-Sea Fish._
“The absence of sunlight, the tre¬
. _
mentions pressure of the water at such
depths which and its quiet the stillness phystologi- are the
mu-os make vast
® a! differences between the fish at the
bottom of the sea and those near the
® ur ace - " - 111 ' 1 w e a;e the most
familiar,” remarked a prominent sci
entitle man to a reporter for the New
York Mail and K.t. rest.*
“Many of the most wonderful pecu
........ bar.ties of the deep-sea fish are due to
absence of sunlight, he continued,
,“ being and absolutely ® 0 ™ e °f the without ™ are eyes totally or haying blind,
only rudimentary ones, like those which
ar ® 8ce “ in « sh wbich inhabit tbe strea ™ 3
ca y>' s '\ hc ‘ e tbe sua IlCm ' On
the other hand, . there varieties
are some
vrhieh have eyes of abnormal size, in
order that they may collect all the rays
of li^hfc thit penetrate the cLep. Ex
Periments show that the light of the sun
beyond that depth the light is down but a
faint glimmer, darkness while still farther
is total
“Net these creatures, living far away
, from the light of tne sun, must have
s ” mc “«}"■ of sta P ln S C0l l rse 1,1
Hie search for food f and nature has so
well provided for the.r needs that they
al ‘e actually a light unto themselves, like
lanterns; they have certain orgyans that
™ u a s phorescent b’bam to them light
them on thc.r way come of
carry tiny torches in tne form of tentacles
that rise from the top of their heads,
while others have little rows of luminous
spots along their sides. Imagine the
fairy-like torchlight the procession which miles flashes be¬
low the surface of sea,
here and there through titter and impene¬
trable darkness. It is thought by some
that many of these fish arc entirely en¬
veloped in Fght, and sometimes when
brought still to glimmer the surface faintly.” the luminous
spots of of these
“Docs the appearance any
deep-sea fish resemble the the species
familiar to us near surface?” was
asked.
“Yes, for the majority of the deep
sea fish which have been brought to the
sur f acc show a greater or lese resem
blance to our common kinds, and there
are many / indications which point i to the
C0Ilclus 0n that mauy of theu werc once
3nhabitants of the upper " J portion of the
water- It is 8aid ev 1!( W that there
are evidences that the halibut is being thl
forced downward , a nd if that is
case as the halibut sinks to still greater
depths the causes I have mentioned will
develop the same curious physiological
characteristics, and another species will
be added to the deep-sea tribe.”
The demand in the London market for
lilies has become so great that lily
growing Bermuda. has beoome a great industry iu
Subscription: $1.25 in Ad.ance.
THE CHILDREN HAVE GROWN
AWAY.
My Htfle chiIdn5n ha ^ T8wn away>
fr0! " th e
Grown to be men and . women tall,
.
With passions and loves and hates and c
That comes to us when we grow away
From childish play.
My little children that were so dear,
How can I help but wish them here
With arms round my neck in the old loving
way
1 have not known for many a day,
got since home was my kingdom, precious
and sweet,
Filled with the music of pattering feet?
Those feet that led them away from me
Into the world and over the sea.
Leaving me here in my lonely room
That even in sunshine seems full of gloom,
And so very lonel^ I needs must cry
For the day%gona by.
■
[ thought I should be the first to go,
And I cannot but wish it might have been
so,
But the Father of love, who dwells in tha
light,
Took some of my babies out of my sights
Took them away to his Home of Rest,
And I know, though I cannot tell why, ’twai
best.
So I’m trusting our Lord and can clearly sea
That in that dear land our home shall bo.
And . , though , . the , children .... have
gene away
shaU a f in - f blessed da v ‘
-
When he wilftall-to heaven we coma
And find once more our happy home.
—John A. Clark, in Good Housekeeping.
PITH AND POINT.
A vacant lot—Dude3.
The age of humor—Badinage.
Food for reflection—Brain food.
The sea cow probably eats from tha
trough of the sea.
A twenty-doilar gold piece and a re¬
liable watch always go for what their
£*?“ ^
“
However extravagant a contortionist
may be he always manages to make both
ends meet.— Life.
The earth is but a shallow crust,
Around a core of heat and flame; *.
Some people on it don't ask much; \
The crust is good enough for them. '
—Detroit Free Press.
The largest umbrella in the world has
been made in Glasgow for a King of
East Africa. His jfajesty seems to be
making preparations for a long reign.—
Boston Herald.
“How’re you getting along?” remarked
one moth to another. “Uh, I manage
to keep in clothing.” fur-lined And he disap¬
peared within a overcoat.—
Western Rural.
’Twixt sail and sailor what may be
The difference; tell me. I implore:
The sail, you know, gets full at sea, J.
The sailor—lie gets full on shore.
— Judge.
Violent rainstorm—crowded street car
—handsome lady and gentleman iftside) on
platform. Gentleman (to those
—“Can you squeeze a lady in there?”
Chorus of Male cer¬
tainly. —New York News.
Teacher—“Knipke, who reigned Scholar— the
earlier, Titus Teacher—“Mistake." or Vespasian?” Scholar
“Titus.”
(quickly correcting (sternly)—“Kleemilier himself)—“Vespa¬
sian.” Teacher
has whispered to you again.”— Fliejeni»
Blaetter.
Customer to barber—“Shave down
please, as it makes my face sore to shave
against shave ‘down’ the grain.” not,” replied “I’d just the as loqua¬ soon
as
cious torturer, “but I can’t find any on
your grizzly old face. The down on
your jaw turned to bristles years ago.”—
DansciUe Brcez '.
Business—“The doctor has ordered
me to the mountains for my health.”
Romantic—“I envy you. Glorious
scenery! Mountains lofty, imposing,
appalling, tremen-” Business—
(testily)—“Yes, L know; but how are the
prices?” Romantic (airily —“Oh; like
the mountains, like the mountains.”—
Idea.
“It was a severe punishment,” said
the father, self-reproachfully, “but it an¬
swers the purpose. It kept John from
running on the street.” “You didn’t
cripple the boy, did you?” “No; I had
his mother cut his hair for him. You
ought to see the poor boy.” And the
proud father wept bitterly .—Chisago
Tribune.
An Ainu Chief.
I paid a visit to the village chief, who
lives in a large house, a part of which ia
occupied by a Japanese Christian, who is
trying to do missionary work among the
people. The chief, a very old man, re¬
ceived me sitting in front of his cabinet
of Japanese curios. He bowed, extended
both his hands with the palms up, waved
them toward himself, and stroked his
long grey beard. These actions were re¬
peated twice, and werc accompanied by
a low, murmured greeting, which was
translated to me as meaning that he
deemed himself Iiigh'v honored by my
call, and hoped 1 would enjoy mysell
during he my stay in his village. and The Ainu,
said, were too poor too ignorant
of the do manners of entertain honorable foreigners and
to anything to me; things. a
lot of compliments and pleasant
His quiet dignity of manner, and his
low, musical voice although impressed me dirty very
favorably; and. lie was
and clad in rags, he looked the chief. —
Popular Science Monthly.
The Swiss Good Night.
“The Swiss Good Night,” refers to the
custom of the Swiss mountaineers of
calling through “Piaisethe their speaking ord God.” trumpets
herdsman atdusk, 1 neigh¬ One
starts the call, and his
bors from every peak, echo it. The
sounds are prolonged by reverberation
trom one mountain to adother. After a
short period, which is supposed herdsmen to have calls
been devoted to prayer, a
“Good Night.” This, too, is repeated, his
and as darkness falls, each retires to
hut. These calls may be heard for miles
and are re-echoed from the rocks, for
some minutes after the original call has
died away .—Detroit Free Press.
One of the richest men in St. Paul,
Minn., who owns block after block of
real estate, lives on less than $800 ay ear