Newspaper Page Text
THE LINCOLNTON NEWS
VOLUME VI. NUMBER 51.
Kaiser William is much interested In
naval affairs, and it is believed that Ger¬
many will hereafter pay. much more at¬
tention to her navy.
Greystone, Mr. Tilden’s expensive
Hudson river residence, has been in the
market for two years, with no buyer.
It cost him |35,000 a year to keep it up,
and no one has been willing to follow
suit.
Seventy-five miles an hour—or a mile
in forty-eight seconds—is the astounding
rate of speed which has just been at¬
tained by the “West Coast Express,” of
the London and Northwestern Railway,
on its trip from tho Lnglish to the
Scotch metropolis.
! How many persons in the United
States, asks tho Argonan', know that
the increase of the population iu the
Argentine Republic during the lust
twenty-five years has been one hundred
and fifty-fo .r per cent., while ours has
been only seventy-nine per cent. ?
! Kansas is anxious to annex the strip
of land called “No Man’s Land” adjoin¬
ing the State. Not, the newspapers say,
“for boom p rposes,’’but for protection.
Every thief and murderer who commits
a crime in Kansas makes a break for No
Man’s i and, where he is as safe as the
manslayer of old in the city of refuge.
Apract’cal test of fire-proof, patent
stiffened wire lathing, was given recent¬
ly in Philadelphia. A b.ick building
twenty feetsouare was erected of two
divisions, in one the common wood lath¬
ing such as is generally used, in the
other was the stiffened wire lathing w th
cast iron ribs. At 3:05 in the afternoon
the fires were started, and in e ; ght
minutes the plaster and wood lathing
dropped and were consumed. At 4:5 >,
when the visitors left the grounds, the
fire in the wire lathing apartment was
still burning, with no signs of consump¬
tion of the plaster or lathing.
Mrs. Diaz, wife of the President of
Mexico, has labored for years, accord¬
ing to the New Y’ork Graphic, to
ameliorate the condition of the poorer
class of her sex. She has established
various institutions for the employment
of poor women and gills, and hai
popularized jvork which, until she be¬
came its protecting patroness, was looked
upon as unbecoming and contrary to
established customs. Under her patron¬
age these institutions have become
flourishing and afford respectable employ¬
ment to hundreds of her sex. She is ever
studying some new scheme for the
advancement of the poorer classes, and
her name will be a future household
word associated with benevolence aud
kindness.
A very curious case is reported from
Wilkesbarre, Penn. One of the young
women employed at the silk mills of that
town was taken with an epileptic fit.
She fell to theffierdr, and the other girls
gathered around hud became mosi
alarmed and excited. Suddenly one of
them gave a wild shriek and fell over in
violent hysterics. The excitement in¬
creased, and iu a minute or so another
young woman was seized with hysteria.
The girls were now almost wild with
nervous excitement, and'on.; after another
was seized with hysteric convulsions.
Their cries and struggles as they lay
quivering on the floor combined to make
the scene an extraordinary and alarming
one. Sixteen of lhe girls were thus pros¬
trated. Medical aid was summoned, and
the girls were revived and sent home.
Mr. A. W. Van Dorston estimates, in
the Sdenti.ic American, that there are one
million cars in the Uniied States, the
couplers of which must be changed if
the standard of the Master Car Builders’
Association is generally adopted. He
figures the cost at $?S.50 a car, which
would make the entire expense of the
change 70’,000. Suppo-ing the
present couplers—which must be dis¬
placed—to have co.t $15 per car, or
$15,000,000 for the entire equipment,
and that the destruction of cars and cat
fthe jtrucks, loss the of pins wrecks and links, from the broken death links,
rate
the free slack and going between
i the cars to place and replace the links,
cost annually $17,000,0 :0 more, or $22,
000,000 in a l, stiil he thinks the auto¬
matic coupler mu-t be regarded as de¬
cidedly the cheapest.
The regular annual comp aint of a
lack of dancing men at the summer re¬
sorts was made, as usual, this season, re¬
marks the New Y'orlc Herald. The hotel
keepers at Bar Harbor, Me., boast that
they have found a very efficacious way
in which to remedy this evil. When the
season is “at its height” they send tc
certain agenies in Boston for a supply of
the article, for the want of which less
clever reports droop and pine. These
Boston institutions supply at so much
per head any desired number of young
men handy with their feet, to use a col¬
loquialism. These dancers are fellows
of poor but highly respectable family.
Some of them are clerks some collegians,
and once in a while a few actors are fur
mshed. The don’t recel ze much salary,
but they have a fine time and theit
board. Considerable diplomacy is re¬
quired of the holel man to prevent theii
patrons discovering just what of the
young men are of the imported etock.
DEVOTED TO THE INTEREST OF LINCOLN COUNTY.
CALM AFTER STORM,
»
Life lathe long and difficult campaign,
The gladiator's struggle on the sand,
The ship’s contention with the furious main;
While ccaseless y the silver trumpet's strain
Is calling us in confid nee to stan i
With palm and incense 'mid the peaceful
band.
Blow, trumpets, blow, and bring again the
dream
That thrilled the ecstatic outcast on his isle;
Though we may never loose our grasp the
while
On blades still bared, and long the waiting
seem,
Till gates of pearl turn on their binge
amain,
And storm and battie vanish in the gleam
Shat forth from streets untrod by guilt or
pain,
Where heaven’s own hosts their wished-for
- welcome smsle!
—The Churchman.
A SPY’S EXPERIENCE.
i ■
by ewing gibson.
, ! . „ , . ih fc .
W “' n e on
1 . S T. r ! W ag0 and, miss ng ray
'
‘ ,^ ui| i eV h ° UrS JJw 1
nothng to do. While idling n aiound the
;'" e .‘ 1 “ tel ra v was caught by tho
-
striding appearance of an old man sit
ting on a bench outside He was tall
and powerful y built but h s long gray
hair proved hur to be no longer young,
w^ Thi! e ri k v^ f heh 0t ll " ho h ®
was. This ltid t v dual was „ busy, , but
managed to answer me as well as lie
could. “That old man ' why, that’s
JaekJ.awton. He was a h ave soldier in
the la t w ir and p ayed the spy two or
thiee times. l-.et him to tell you some
of his exper.ences. i hey are right good,
and those who know i-ay tnev are true.”
I escaped and made niy way to the old
veteran. He was smoking a short clay
pipe and refused my offer of a c gar in
is place. After a tew well-directed ones
ions I got him talking- and I asked him
(> ,V C me a ’ account ° 1 wnat heconsid
u ) v. he was ever in.
fel i?- W >'- i0 ' iel at calra >y as be
refilled kiii and lit his pipe, while 1 made my
self comfortable and waited for h m to
beg n. He had a short, strong way of
talking and I will try to tell his story in
as neatly his own words as possible.
vgvtxs&i full of character
fair idea and determination, and
you nave a Ol Lira.
“Weil, stranger, about the worst fix I
was ever in, and I’ve been in a good
many, was somewhat ir this way: 1 was
with my company in Kentuck in ’til and
the enemy were not far oil getting ready,
we knew,to make an attack on us at any
time, vve were encamped in a small
town and the time passed slowly with
nothing to do but to be on th; lookout
lorasurpri.se. be But the enemy seemed
to in no hurry and I got tired of wait
ing. 1 had been thinking over as heme
for some time and at ast I suggested to
my l aptam that 1 should go as a spy into
the enemy’s cam., lie jum ed at the
ch,,ir!! o? tTnir^Sc ‘S “fS?! Ti
took mv
the tnetown town there there lived lived -in an oldehanwbn oldchapwho
had'som^tmfeTLwrf had some ti a ned cairiers. 1110 '?^? lhe captain 6 ^^
suggested that I should carry a couple of
these witu me and hide them in the
S 011^anvtlUnw^that deeded h ^ U 1
fowffi louncl out anything that needed imme- m
Snw one of these 1 W birds, t Ul which W would ,,, r carry gel ? it
far quicker than 1 could. 1 didn't take
° P-Cion was aroused. V\ 0
lvovi t. to U BnS > iei lon S. v/ re
h iH v,«Uw gea G ( to a regiment • in Alls
enm-; .S.’vs
otherpoints- gH had t-ikeTcaie
caie to to obtffin obtain,
J up Jnfoimlion^/tlol .' dnotdo u ao P for Iorn mf ? e
, . ...
toX l nexTwhe“n the^oo^nartiv I loLed
an old building U with WU 0r P art I
rvtTon plnntv t 1 *2 ok,3d 1 ?; rrK f ke place , seemed
t'he'ligure’ofa'min^vffio- -
however 1 saw Ue ,: S ure °i amin lying
on ® s traw 111 a c0| n er - lthoughthe
, 1U {“"vent - in' 5 aid “ookeXcIsw
quiet fivn? if U 00K ? ose r
m,rl r ffioIcdLe a^colh^with J .
glance around ” na -noweame a cotnn with
alffl hLonm , _ y g H°J d d 1U " t ,Uan0 mUCh K tl ‘- M ke rC0l t0 T haV Of ?
k t r r com P ani ® n “ , ut *
wjintWl awhile, vi »
?t « and under the c.r- .
. . dt ad soldl
ft " ® r
ffl^^w£,»'SShW?Sbf would h» uve loao one, lib- who m gnt ask trouble
to sOTe ftraw rv,°, ?n°th» e lma ^ e u!> n d f ’’^ y miud a °“
some f ’tk ul
soon asleep but Fwas llow alo 1 I no'sToIt
sure sV,m,.in7 sed bv a
wlo uMi. nf of-X ? swl a d f glll 11 °V in °J
give! fn lold hast"es dS T
ficers ” V Whai n “ot
m i i . ,
fore the fadldlwav real man turnsuoand—f' Is thlv fva’kedW Their
voices convlncrme
but 1 had heard ramigh X VVha? to lulk
of the scTane I was hard
nhat the 7 prisoner prisoner I i was was rebresentin- lepresenting
should i, have escaped on this day of all
otlitus. I had no time for idle legiets,
however, lor bv the noise outside I knew
an active search was being made for me.
I heard a x’oice shout: ‘Look inside the
tlthocnffij
I 1 could could I I nulled pulled the lid lid over oi er and and waited waited,
aLal^dozen’men ranTn* P Thev'naMed They paused a a
moment till their eyes got f accustomed to
Sstalt r!, dhcIverV^mSTdXIfffiol but the idea of look- 8
g n iu h<2 The&rTonl isnThi
hereXnd to them thefleft say-He
hadenXed ngoodpac; litl um.Xwd m oiiicklv wienie hmse?, a, thev
“sfn foramanto h b.avIst de mII
is in a a flx nx likem like m ne ne. The liie biavest men
havesotnesupers,lttonaboutthepresence ““iXsffiLCffiaYCIow
a as they hLcan can. i was in a regular trap now
ana did not know what to do. Any at
tempt at escape in tho present excited
state of the camp would mean death
LINCOLNTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1838.
was to stay quiet and try to make
my way out in the night. Whei
was that dead soldier to be buried? That
was a question that [ assed through my
tuind s-everal times as I lay confined in
the rough coffin. Everything depended
on that. I hoped for the best and lay
quiet. I was badly cramped in my
strange resting place, but I fell asleep in
spite of it all. I was aroused by bear
ing some one enter and close the door
after him. I opened my eyes. Who
ever it was had brought a lantern. As
quietly as I could I si pped my hand to
my back and unloosened my pi-.tol. If
I had to die I determined to make a
hght I for it. Scarcely daring to breathe
waited. The steps approa hed closer,
'lhe next moment I heard hands fum
bling on the lid and it was lifted up. At
the same instant 1 sprang up and leveled
ray d pistol at the intruder. This was an
o gray-headed darkey. In lifting the
lul he helJ it between himself and me
and. against did the not wall see and me. turned He leaned it
to come
back. Ashe didso he caught a glimpse
of me. Ills lower jaw fell and his eyes
rolled wildly in his head as he stared. I
sad not a word, but pointed the pistol
at h IS ,“ead. He seemed struck with
paralysis. and , His legs shook and tottered
at last gave way and he fell on his
kn ® 6S ' Hls hand I went u P 5n a s "P pli ‘
eating manner and his ,. lips moved as if
he was trying to say something. Evi
dently he took me for a ghost. As I
wasn't one yet, and didn’t ntend to be
if I could help it, I said. ‘Old man, you
see this pistol.’
‘/He • Weil,’ could 1 only went nod. on, ‘it is loaded to
the muzzle, and every bullet in it will
go into you if you make a noise above a
whisier.’
“This was a practical sort of talk that
he und ;stood and convinced hm that
I was real fie-h and blood.
“ ‘Beio’ i od, Boss! I ain’t gwine to
breathe hard!’
“Ashe spoke I noticed a spade and
other tools be had brought with him. A
sudden idea flashed through my brain,
it was a desperate one, but I was in a
desperate fix and could cot pick and
choose. I took out of mv pocketbook a
ten dollar bill. I held this in my left
hand and my pistol in my right.
“‘You see these?’I asked, as I held
them before the terrified negro.
‘“Yes, boss.’
tAEis ’ “‘If d you ^ P do iust a “ “ Ar 1QC as I nearer tell bls vou head the
j e ‘
,..... head 111 ?* 1 to
sld . aad be would . S obey * one
® 8wore me. j
!/‘ dhlm t0 8 et U P and an3Wer m y T ues -
tloaa -
‘When is this man to be buried?’
asked.
“‘Dis cbenin’, boss. I’se made his
grave and was gwine to put him in his
coffin when I see you.’
“After a few more questions I found
the grave was a little ways out of the
lines at a well known burying-placo, and
burial was to take place at u p. xr. It
was now near 3. I had very ' little time
to lose.
that v ro«r fast spade „a dig a grave to
coraer as ad you can ’
“The negro seized his spade and
wo -ked hollowed like lightning In a few minutes
he had out a hole large enough
for mv mirnose "^ier Then hfs shaflow towel her Live wo lmd
the in the
negro doing ^nt. all I had told him in terri
(ied araa After he had thrown
back teredstrawIrLudthespot! the earth and fattened it I scat
sothat no
sitjns of the diffffinff would be ob^erva
b le. The first part of my task was done
abo e where a man’s mouth would be, I
bored half a dozen small holes. In the
dark pine box they were not noticeable.
ln w ba f T V all exee ~~—-««*• P tl tw0 These two 1| “" I
-
nailed m the , lit about one th rd the
^om the top. I worked fast, for
every moment was of value. The negro
Watched m8 meanwhle wilh °P en
***** m6 a ^ lunatic. , - 1 T am My sure next th remark ° u g ht
conyinced him of it. ‘I am going to get
in i hatc (> ”>,’ I said, ‘and I want you to
nail . , me down.’"les, ] sah, with
and he grinned and looked happv for the
“'f ?’ hi ‘
B ' s a f 1 W ot g e ttm S
rid of me wh ch , he h ghly , approved . of.
1 W, °'f 8 fe ^ linei on a ,.P iece o£ tlssue
^ paper I to my Captain, . telling him of the
was in. 1 added that I had
P° rtant Dew9 t0 «® 11 dim - I Put this in
because I knew it would make him take
moe trouble to save me. lmadeacopy
of this aud took out some silk thread,
u-o B ° ,h with lr the ethiag3lhad career pigeons. br0, | I ghtt0 gave
them to the colored man and described to
him how t0 fastenth e paper around each
'f g a f d lhe /f t0 them 1
w had t t0 te l | hlm thr ® e ,mej before . he
snowed - any Sgn of understanding , me,
and e en then it was doubtful, but I
C pistol ° t’1 ^ once °° more, ^ and, S'™' pointing 1 dr6W it at his
&»t/aaM“„ k i 11 dto 2 ‘ rf A”to.h'L" , ‘i
K l .h ad h broken ^ he had a used d- s all The around half nails the
^ FLt T a 7 1 T*'/ W6r 1 t0 V?? ° X ? t0 sh . °\ catch J au ke J
for I had made holes for r 8 them 8 >gbt hold,
to fit in
with a gimlet. My idea was, if not res
cued, to force the lid, and in t e terror
which would accompany my sudden res
urreclion to escape I was never a nerv
ous man, but I tell you when I heard that
heart " e g r ‘> almost bamraering failed im the coffin lid my
me. But it was this
or death in some other form. Iu a few
The holes I had made g T in Xr the 1 i^ lid 3 enabled ^
m e to breath with comparative ease. As
1^°^ they were °r slim, er my indeed. ® ha ? ce8 Granted the
f **‘ hful * rfp A®
th ? pl ^ oa8 - « be did
hnd the,n bcmightnottiwten the paper
^ h *w1S. n,,,ht n0t " tUrU iB
chances against inlr me ’ X that r rT® I knew ®° my “w life 7
hung on a very slender thread. A nerv
Zl not have used the X half nails the , ZT I had Z pro- ght
vjded, but had substituted others. He
seemed ertainly harder had hammered in a way that
th#g was necessary to
I might be buried alive 1 Th's thought
so filled me with horror that it was with
di ticulty that I could refiaiD from trving
the lid. Only the knowledge that this
would mean discovery if the lid yielded
restrained me. It was a hot day, and
the heat was intense in my narrow prison,
I was fearfully cramped from my strained
position, and th s and the heat added to
my misery. heard After waiting what seemed
an age I at last the sound of steps,
A party of men had entered and came
up to me. The next moment the co r.n
was lifted. A sudden giddiness and a
rush of blood to the head followed, and
I knew they must have held the head
lower tha t the foot. I feit the bottom
grating into something hard. I was being
put a wagon. Then I was moving,
I could not hear very distinctly, hut I
could make out the reguar tramp of
soldiers following. The road was rough
and I was fearfully jolted. My one
thought now was: Has that negro done
as ho promised and does my captain
know of my fix? What I feared most
To was fainting and being buried alive,
prevent this was my aim, At la-t
the wagon stopped a id 1 was taken out.
A grating sound and the next moment I
was swinging in the air. Then 1 rested
qu et. 1 followed the movement-in my
mind and I knew now I was in my grave.
Thcre a pull ng at my feet 'one of
the ropes must have caught, and th;
next moment a heavy bodv sprang on
the conn. Then a voice, hoarse and
hu-kv, but wh ch I knew well, wills
pered dem birds through the gimlet holes: ‘I let
loose jest as vou told me. For
God’s sake, d .n’t haunt me, boss!’ The
next moment he was out. j ow was the
time for mv help resolved’to to come, if it was com
ing at all, but I wait to the
last m mite. A dead silence followed,
and then I dimly heard a voice, l ead
ing the funeral service, I thought. How
I kept mysel. calm at that t.me is more
f han I dan say. but the knowledge that
in a moment I could break out and be in
the fresh air must have had much to do
with it. l he voice stopped, and a dull
thud followed that made my heart beat
like a sledre hammer. They were
throwing in the dirt, and my grave was
being With head Ailed up. I had no time to spare.
; and brain reeling I doubled
myself up to force open the lid. Ch,
horror! I could not move it. I made
! ; one last despe ate effort, but in vain; I
could not lift it an inch. Iliadneverin
m y bfe 1 efore fainted, but this was too
n-• - 1 “ “ <* * d » 4
j i When I recovered I found mvself on
! horseback in front of APnmrndp who WAQ
holding me in my „F place. We were rid
j Dcr at f ur ; 0U3 r me.’ e an a t i, e f re3 h a ; r
j quickly revived My friend handed
i me a flask. I took a good pull and
looked around. I was surrounded by
j Und m y friends. We soon reached our camp,
I got an explanation of what had
j happened. it He It was my Capta n who n-avo
to me. shook my hand warmlv.
j‘I said, got ‘and your I message by this those pigeons,’he
got up narty for your
rescue atouce. \Ye had very little
trouble with the half dozen soldiers who
were at your funeral, but laughing-lad the old negro’
-here he burst out
J«W»J us - and wehad J™ a g»«;**«.«■« hard Ume to make .!*> him .1
come out. We got vou out of your hole
88 fast as we could, and the rest you
know -’ This explained all, and it was
negro gating s weight that prevented m;
from out I was a hero for some
tinae, and the information I had picked
up was of great value but it did not pay
me for tbe a g°nv I su ered in that
^ a ' e - T on see ihis hair,” he added,
run mug his fingers through hs siiverv
l° cks - “it was as black as yours when
years ago, was ruu overby a railroad
train. Both legs had The to be amputated told
1 close A■ up to the hip. company
‘ *
j father or the accented boy a practical the lafter education. alternative,and
the railroad company made a tee -pb
operator of the crippled folnd hoy. Las When he
°f age he he not get
ting as good General pay as Butler other aud operators asked He if
wrote to
anything could be done. General Butler
sent for the boy. The whole story was
gone o er. said the noted
‘ I’ll take your ca«e,”
; ]aw -/ er - .i 1 ' 11 ®" he sent for th ® * olicii ® r
of the railroad company. When
! "! the ,U / legless t0 , r arr£ved boy was at in ,’ he a chair general’s on the office top
of a long ta.de. General Butler
plained that he proposed to begin suit
for the boy to ^et damages.
“But,” said the solicitor, “we agreed
with his father to give him a practi al
of him. and there is no telpher law for getting out
! any further can't damages.” anything about the
“V ou tell me
! how aw '” much wa \ Ge damaget , neral Bllt do . ler ’ 8 repi think . y . ; .‘‘ that bu 5
you
j bov would get if he sat on a table like
that before a jury?”
> The railr ° ad lawyer ® a «ght the he point said,
at f once. “Ido not know,”
*" “* - w “ ,d
Buto” 0 * !,0 ’ 005 •” r '‘"“ d
.
stage e ect y eneral Butler got over
$ Oo0 for lhe boy without going into
tr ak The k ^ yer knew Bu ' ler c ‘ >uld
make U , c08t '^company that much, as
well as a good deal ot trouble, and he
was Chicago glad enough to compromise.—
Tribune.
—~ — ““
Tl _ »0 Largest Rattlesnake on Record.
The greatest set of rattles ever cut
from a rattlesnake are now on exhibition
in the office of the Treasurer of Lycoming
County, at Williamsport, 1 euu. The
string measures sfc inches and contains
45 '' a “ ie " The biggest string of rattles
on record previous to this was taken
from the big fhat snake killed near Westport inches
week, string mea-ured 4
in length tbllt and conta ned -I rattles, lhe
suake b ? re ^ was the biggest one
ever tiled , . in the state, being 7 feet
long. The most curious fact connected
tBe “®«. 8tcr Will amsport set
[attles is that it was taken from a snalce
less than 3 feet long, the rattles forming
almost one-fourth of the reptile’s entire
grows a rattle H \ Us every true year that after % ratt the lf 8 “? first k t
year the snake must have oeen 4i> years
old. This freak among snakes was
killed by County Treasurer Eldred in th?
BUDGET OF FON.
HUMOROUS SK TCH S FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
He Had a Job A’ready—A Sudden :
Turn—File It Away fir Fa- .
tore Use—Will Want
More Later On.
Mrs. Pompano—“Mary Ann, just run
across the stieet a id ask that man with
a whitewash brush if he i- engaged.”
Mary Am (returning after animated
conversation with Julius Plumboffj—
“Please, mum, he says he’s been mar¬
ried for twelve years .—Drake’s Magatiue.
A Sntldnn Turn.
iness?’* Brown—“Well, old man, how's bus
Robinson—“Fine. I’ve got so much
to do I don't know which way to turn.
(Lowering Dumleyupthe his voice). There comes
s reet, and I owe him
five dollars. Let’s turn th.s way .—New
York Dupa'ch.
File It Awav for Future Use.
“1 apa.” sa d a beauti ul girl “young
Mr. T„i tie has written ma note in wh.ch
he asks me to be his wife ’ •’
“Written you a note- Whv in than
der didn't 1 himse'f?” '
e have'been com»
“It would Dleasanter that
way no d. nbt papa but besides^papl I suppose he
feels a little timid and tiJhSte
think how much more bind.ng
is.”_ Puiliv U. Welch ’
Will Want More Later On.
Passenger (in crowded cari—“Aren’t
you a Chi. ago drummer, sir;”
i rummer—“Yes.”
Passenger—“Your first trip, isn’t it?”
Drummer—“Yes. its a new bus ness
tome; but I’m selling more go.ds iu
my line than anv two men on the road.
Why do you think it’s my first trip?”
Passenger—“^ecause vou only occupy
two seats.— New York Sun.
A Handsome Prefit.
Aunt I mi’.y — “Why do you think
you will be a doctor, Bobby, when you
grow up:”
Bobby—“Because I swallowed a ten
cent piece the other day and the doctor
charged good pa two dollars for curing me.
That’s a business.”— Epo.h.
_
Reserved Seats
H,«d Waiter (Chea.'o
cuse me, sir; do you eat pie with a knife
or a fork?”
Stranger—“With a knife of course.
Do 1 look like a mau what would jab
himself?”
Head Waiter—“To the right, if vou
plea-e; seats on the left reserved ’for
Eastern dudes.” Time.
v nl a r.onfi '
*
v ■ Babr& , ' (m Philadelph - - , . a de- -
j ', or | l hat an exquisite
fl, „ . a ? ^ deC0! , tl ch
‘ i e ’ S ° / '
Llnl *““£ „‘d“BS r The . ver '', ‘*.“”5 th ,';" T i/ . 6 tS been
h( f ive Vme a check. How much s it?”
Lealer_“Ten "d cents 7 miss”
• P-^aMphia , * ■ Record. n ,
' The TraTe,er and the Robber -
He was traveling West with £7000 in .
bis ii side pocket. He encountered a
highwayman his who held the cold muzzle
of revover close to his left temple.
t old up. he cried.
“I will” replied the obliging robber,
themselves on the grand stand. “If
there is auything you don’t understand,
ju-t ask me and'I’ll tell youa lalioutit.”
“Mho „;:?>»»V“" is that young man going « "!*'■ about
with the gla-ses? Is he the umpire?” maL.
“ No; he's the soda water Here,
youn ierno: bl man, -VrahA bring us two glasses of
a ”
-
The Man Was No Friend of Bo?e«.
Boy ito editor)—“There's a man out
side what wants to know- who wrote
that article on ,hm Boggs, who disap
peared ditor-“Go last week.” back and tell him
1 you
wroeit.”
boss.” Boy .returning)—“That's a nice man,
Editor-“What did he say when you
told him?”
Boy—'‘He said that was the best
piece we've had in the paper in a year,
and he gave me a ten-doilar bill .—Mer
otart
-
A I esral Thrust.
“My young friend, Necessity, who
o ents the other side.” began the
gn/.zied legal luminary, when the young
practitioner F interrupted him.
“Your honor, 1 aesire to ask whv my
learned friend alludes to me as ‘.veces
sitv.’”
“ d ‘
what shall I order”
Mrg . Morris rarke-“Pear me, I
haven’t thought. What can we have for
din!ier , Mary i”
Mary ” (tho :glitfully)-“I don’t know,
ma ’ am
Mrs Morris Parke-“Oh ’ can’t you 7
make maaBa a suo-o-estion 1”
,che«rfuliv>—“ Icantrv “' What
do vou make it of <”
He Took It Philosophically.
“It is with unfeigned sorrow aud a
bleedin" heart “ihJt Mr ’l Sampson aT compelledlo ’’ si il the
jf a> , theenav; but I lo e another ” and
tears ^ft of sympathy welled evS into her eves
so
Clarn ’great ” he said earnestly “it is reallv
of n0 consequence: I’ll be as chip
per as a bird ; u a day or two, and it
pains P me to see vou thus distressed.”
Then she dried her eyes and became
quite ‘ herself again. -E^jch.
__
a Chance Not to be ml Trifled hiS With
‘Mr Sampson asked to be
w nin-lut ram ”
what did vou suv?”
“I told him he must give me a little
t ; me and ho s iid I could have the usual
Subscription : $1.25 in id anco.
and then he stopped and appologized.
What am I to ib nk ot him, pupa?”
“Think of him? ’ shouted the old man.
“That young fellow is full of bus.ness,
and you can’t say ‘yes’ too quick;— Crip.
On Deck to Star.
This is the way an Edgefield (S. C.)
candidate nails a f»lse rumor: “From
various quarters of the c-ui.ty the report
comes to my ears that ‘ fiani i olgan has
decided not to make the race for Coro
ner, but will leavethe field.’ I de-ire te
say that there is not a word of truth in
the rejiort. I hiveenl sted for the wai
and will be on deck at the final rec .on ng
on ele tion day. There will be amp e
time to write my obituary after the
funerai, should you, my fel ow citizens,
see pro: er to cover mv corporosity with
the som er th oud of defeat—then, and
not till then, let my epitaph be written.”
—Aryueta {6a.) Chronic e.
A 'Prentic 1 ' Hand.
“Did Charles propose last night?”
“Aes, the darling fellow. ’
“Tell me all about it—do He was
just as graceful, I suppose, and dramatic
“indeed, he was nothing of the kind.
It was almost tarcial, be made such a
. , h I onld have lau h d
tu " n v 0! ^ - '
- afraid , hed
only i I was landed get angry and es
<»pe before I him.”
“What a shame he should have made
^ch a mess of ,t.”
“ By uo meaM - If be d been dead
, letter per ect 1 sWd ha e ha l a 6US
'
P c on he d been rehearsing with some
other girl.
“Oh I ”—San Francisco Examiner,
A Reporter's Vacation.
Metropolitan editor—“Th nk you
need change and rest, eh? Wei : , I
shou dn t wonder; city li-e is a hard
one believe - Liking it it ail the year round, and hid I
is t evcral tears since you
8 vacation. \\ hich do you most enjoy
seashore, mountains or pastoral s?ene;?’
Hard-wo f king reporter (with enthu
siasm —“ oh the mountains, a ways.”
td tor—“Well, the M nd and Matter
Association will ho d their sixteen-bour
a-dav metaphysical and sessions at >he Bleak and
Top them. year, Don you can go there and
report each day t m ss down anything,
beep s se sion to six or
eight columns. The paper has a bill
again* the hotel at Bleak Top for ad
vertising. I wnl charge to your a mount
and let you take it along. Just before
leaving Land him the bill in pavment for
the merr.est man east of ;an Francisco.”
—•Omaha Worl.L
He Know One Good Man.
An FngFsh General, in reviewing a
corps of cavalry, suddenly stopped be
f° re a splendid looking fellow and
asked abruptly:
“Which is the best horse in the regi¬
ment?”
“No. 40, sir.”
“What makes you think he is the best
horse” ™V
. grid e SSr walks head trots b“ well: and “ \C% mllops bS.h" well- is
ca-r es h» is in his prime.”
‘‘And who is the I eat sold.er in that
re<rment” °
Xuo Jones, sir.”
i.^cLe “Whv”
he is an hono-able mm of’his is
0 b O( i ierlt j 3 tidv takes wood l a-e
e „uipment and' his horie, and does his
^utv well ”
is ^ rider of the best
ho «p /? ’
“Tom Jone= sir”
Proposed by Caligranh.
AZ&SSSS^SS Young Thubs is a wood bu-mess man
a
good manager. oue^of He had a beaut, ul type
writer the bestir nerfecie 1 kind ne^ a® d
nine een years ihuu w.ffi
lauwhinw lovelith b ithejne ue eves Havlnw Liffi.vvmtside fallen in
it told that he day d dictate
and it want to
a letter of love to his sweetheart It
went to work mechan : cailv
“My dearest angel, I love you deeplv, e’er
devotedly, no oth r b-in» could
inspiie in mv heart ‘and such a fervent and
lasting affecuon. I t 8 ae this method
of laving at vour feet mv life mv love
my honor and mv tortn.ie. W lUou ac
ceot * the-e An wer immed lVcr utelv’
e “I
* Turns ”
“There it is ” said the t-voewriter P
“To is it addres-e 1.” *
! whom
“To your foie own tilt dear-elf ” sa’d Thubs Imon
with a would make a
ade shaker
“ And you want a retilv”
“Yes, my precious one”
•‘Well, you shall have it in the same
manner, take this seat at the instrument.
Ready ”
“M ■ Tuub« •_
: “Dvar Sir-Y ours of th's instant re
ce’ved- contents no ed in icnlv I hp<>
a oar
j*S" T “U" ‘.'wC5£»"«ia
with “My marriage last Thursday night
Mr. J. Squiggs renders-’
But Mr. Thiib’s distant fo .tsteps were
echoing anS down the corr dors of no time at
all, ^iVan-i-mu-a in next morning's fi.v paper Lirw was
! W vou\« i i Silf «mn»
_ Detroit ^ ? Free ^ Press. ^
A Chamelioii Fisli.
A Maine fishing schooner recently
ha caught on the Georges Banks, on a
leventy-five abut trawl pounl a queer fi-h de^3 It weighed
and is «
' being “about as large as the top of a
ho^s head and almost as broad as lono wii, ”
When first taken from the water it
of a bright red color and marked with
silver spots, varying in size from that of
a three-cent piece to that of a s.lver
dollar. After the fish had been out of
the water a while the red became purple,
except on the fins, which retained their
vivid hue. The fins, three in number.
were small in proport XL on broad!-^ to the body,
and the tail was and
York Hun.
The attempt to grow tobacco in Eng¬
land has resulted about as disastrously
as the attempt to grot? cottou did,
THE MILL POND.
Here once the green-edged mill pond ipssf
Its mirror to the light of day.
And here I came when I was youny
To while the truant boors away.
Here golden sunfish, sflvery roach,
1 landed proudly on tbs bank,
And once—ab. what a thrill it gavel
A pickerel, loose and lank. .
The pond to-day is filled with ooze;
The dam is broken, fish are gon;
Tb» mill wheel rotten—neVerthelees,
The stream runs merrily on.
At times upon thebank I lay,
__
Beneath a spreading beechen tree,'
And watched the shadows come and g*
O'er what was quite a lake to met
I listened to the noisy mill.
And heard the merry voices eouna,
From where in groups the farmer boys
Waited till gr.st was ground.
The mill is roofless now and still,
The beechen tree I s iw has gone, y
The boys are men perhaps, and still
The stream runs merrily on.
Tis sixty year3 since 1 was here,
A careless barefoot boy ten;
To-day. in spite of silver locks,
I seem to be a boy again.
I hear the clack, I the wheel ’
see - -
From which the water gayly falls;
Bnt waken from my midday dream
When yonder hoarse-voiced fr-ttera sails.
Fades out the picture of the past, ,
By memory on the vie on drawn;
The pa-t is dead; but nevertheless,
Toe stream runs m rrily on.
—Thomas Dmn English
PITII AND POINT.
Bookseller* deal in yarns.
A soar ditty spot—The that is eagle’s unwelcome ne’t. to th*
A very
New Yorkers is humidity.
The wag of a pood le's tail is the nearest
thing to purp-pet-ual motion.
The sue es-ful lover flunks he is get¬
ting ahead when he is getting a heart.
A cornet plaver who cannot attend
the band meetings should send subs-to
toot.
“A baby’s life is a constant series of
surprises—hoth to the baby himself and
to the people who have him in charge.—
Somerville Jou-’na/. j
A story he told her of tenlerest ’ove,
Uf eternal devotion and more.
But see heeded it not: ail his words failed to
move—
She had heard it so often before.
Merchant Traveler.
“A tribe in the palm region of the
Amazon cradles the young iu palm
leaves.” In this country a palm also enters
largely in the work of bringing up the
young, but it is used more in threshing
than in cradling. ,
The Hat Went With the Boy. At the
Mountain Resort—Fond .Mother (whose
son had just been rescued, by He Jone%
from a watery grave)—“Thank but you’ve you,
ever so much, Mr. Be Jones,
forgotten to get Tommy’s hat.”— Pi.ts
barg Buileton.
The Secretary of State has just issued
a license of incorporation to the “Gegeu-i
sei iger I'nterstit/.ungs \ ereffi Bei
t-c.jineide Wagenmacher von New York ”
He is expected to be out in the cour-e of
a week if no unfav. rable symptoms set
in.— New 3 r rk News. !
First Brooklyn Citizen—“fav, Per¬
kins. I see by the papers here that the
annual output of cigars iu th s city is
65,000,00”.” Se oud Brookl n Citizen
— ‘‘That so? Well, I shouldn't wonder
a Hit. Mine’s gone out four times already
this morning.”— Burhmj f n Fre- Pre-tS.
1 ntemrise—“And is that yellow dome
which rises in the field yonder the ro if of
ano her dwelling?” asked the city vistor
of his country friend. “On, no,” said
the farmer; “that is my prize pumpkin along
yo i see. which is g owing .”—Detroit right Free
for the agricultural show
Press.
West End Society of London—Lord
Periwinkle, an admirer of “Buffalo Bill”
— “May I—aw—have the pleasure of
ropinir you in for the next, Lady Some
bodv?” Lady Somebody—“t h. thanks
awfully, Lord Periwinkle, but I have
already been corralled by Mr. Deadwood,
of Pakota.”— Harper '< Bazar. :
“Will nobody separate tho«e dogs?” with
exclaimed the humane man,
riahteous indignation. “Have you no
fee ings, sir?” he continued, add essing
a big fellow who seemed to be takings
delighted inte est in the ombat. “ eel
in’s, pard?” was the reply. “Feelin’s?
I’ve got #20 bet on this fight, and my
dog’s on top. Chaw’im, Lekel ’— Cai
cagj Tribune. I
A Curious Can?.
Mr. E. G, Osgood, of Ma’ne, has a
curious walking cane. Thestick is oc¬
tagon iu shape, and is of white maple
wnh cheirv he id, the entire body being
ma de hollow, with tne displaced wood
made into different designs and left in
the hollow space. In the carved head is
set a compass; in the fird; joint or hol¬
low space are three loose balls; iu the
second, three dice; in the thiid, a
mounted cannon; in the fourth, a roll¬
ing pin; in the fifth, a chain; in the
sixth, asailor’s log, and in the seventh,
a dumb-bell aud nondescript somewhat
resembling an hour gl tss. The whole 8
tipped off with an octagonal ferrule of
brass. In circles around’ the cane is the
following inscription: • “Mude by E. G.
Osgood, Portland, Me., in lot>4. To.tal
abstinence from all that intoxicates—E.
G. <>.” Mr. Osgood has been offered
quite of for tho stick to '
a sum money .—Detroit
place iu the Boston museum
Free Press. i
A Prodigious Hospital Dietary.
The patients’ b’U of fare at the London
Hospital lor one day is as tollows: Two
hundred and one pounds of mutton, 20
chops, pounds 11 steaks, of 1.2 pints of portions beef tea, of
263 puddings, potatoes, 11‘J of
greens, Dot 1378 addition pints the
m.lk and 707 eggs. In to
patients there are some 30o servants and
nurses. The weekly washing bid in¬
cludes 4000 sheets, 800 > 1 lue- becked
upper sheets, 400 counterpanes, and 4 )0
blankets. Twenty-three women and a
laundryman are employed daily in the
luuudry. The medical stores included
last year 110 tons of ice, five tons of
linseed oil, and six miles of plaster. —
New York Post.
Henry Carey, the author of “Sally whq in
died Our Al.ey,” in 174& vias an English poet
V- Jf