Newspaper Page Text
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i/T. TON ■HI
VOLUME Til. NUMBER 20.
The past year
this country by ministers.
The leading German newspapers all
express the hope and expectation that
1889 Will be a year of peace. p«
It is believed that the “visible sup¬
ply*’ of wheat in this country and Can¬
ada has reached its maximum on the last
ferop ; ■»
The capital represented by new min¬
ing and manufacturing enterprises or¬
ganized in the South during 1888 was
#168,800,000.
The Si. Louis Globe-Democrat boasts
that Missouri’s population will hardly
fall below i’, 000,000 when the census of
1890 is taken.
While the qmpLlatioii. of ibis United
States has but a little more than doubled
since 1850, the number of the insane is
six times as great.
Iowa has discovered that she has no
law to punish a person who sets fire to a
stack of oats. Only wheat and hay a|re -
mentioned in the statute! ■
F. D.' -MoerrttB, in a recent lecture
oil Judaism, estimated the total number
of Jews -throughout the world as between
8,000,000 and 10,000,000. In America
there are 500,000.
'
......
The Canadians : are still Hopeful of,
ultimately j^Uducing a grade of beet
sugar that will make cane BUgar seem
poor stuff. They have been laboring
under that idea for about twenty years
now.
The Chinese Navy is fast becoming a
very formidable force. There are now
three powerful squadrons of* Chinese
men-.of war, qrped with the. latest type
of oudnaoce,'. aud well manned anrf'
equipped, -StfropeaffiroBclatis. in every respect able*to cope
with
The 1 Mamfactuwi 1 9$ Baltl
more; prophec es tfiajfc,, “in the Eouth
there are -possibilities of economy in
manufacture that exist in no other part
of ably the wield U^ij jlatnf thfg jf South’will of industrial inevit
the sccpti su
premqsy,”^___ i t'iiid ■ ■ - 'A
Philadelphia p’ajjers a: e Waking a great
fuss about tho immense falling off of the
grain trade in that city and its effects on
other branches of trade. Last year the
exportation of wheat and corn from this
port did not amount to fib re ffyan ?,Q0
009 bushels, whili iini years ago 13^
000,000 bushels were exported.
Reports' fYato Ubstdir tell of the un¬
usually small supply of wool on hand in
the TJWtecf States; fiWerrrtngh to last
six months, according, to all accounts.
Wool must be had, provided ^the pills
run, whatever may be the pride of goods
“It is worth noting, too,” observes the
Commercial Advertiser, “lhat the mills
rarely ever stop in the winter mouths.
The stopping is always done in the sum¬
mer. The mills are all running to-day,
and tending toward a pinch in the stocks
of wool. The foreign markets are the
only remedy,"
“I have discovered,” said a prominent
Floridian to the Jacksonville (Fla.)
Times-Union, “that it takes in-jt halt as
much food and clothing for my family
here as it did in the State where I form¬
erly resided—and we might manage to
get along on one fourth.” A poor man
in Florida may eat but little, and array
himself in less while waiting to get a
start. Every scientist discovers a caloric
in the atmosphere, which supplies tho
stead of .meats and stimulating .bever¬
ages; hence the person ambitious to get
on in life may limit his appetite within
the compass of h» means.
In both coal and iron the outlook foi
this year is perhaps a shade less favora¬
ble, remarks the New York Star, than
in other directions. Whether the pro¬
duction of anthracite can be kept in
1889 upon the same footing, as to de¬
mand and prices, which have rendered
1887 a phenomenal one, remains to be
seen. The growth of domestic con¬
sumption of this kind of coal has been
remarkable. The new fields, particularly
in the West, which it acquired, account
for the way in which the increased pro¬
duction* of 1888 was absorbed. The
companies naturally wish to maintain
^nd increase * this production in the
present year. If the demand continues
to grow this can be done without injury
to prices.__
The Washington Star states that the
usefulness of the Signal Service in fur¬
nishing accurate meteorological history,
if not prophecy, was well illustrated on
a recent night, when the bureau wires
brought from all parts of the land the
■wonderful news thart neither rain nor
snow had fallen that day in any part of
the country. Twenty years ago such a
phenomenon might have occurred
twenty times a month, but we should
never have had the slightest knowledge
of it. When members $bt Cougreis re¬
flect that many generations of weather
grumblers have gone doWn to 1 their
graves ignorant of the possibility of fair
weather ■ .. from , ocean ■, to . ocean, they
should feel a kindness for the Signal
Service—especially when appropriations
for the bureau X I aro under consIdoAtion.
/* J JUJ vlr
PE ^ OTgD TO the INTEREST OF LINCOLN COUNTY.
a MAN. i h
Happy the man who in some rural glade
Contented dwells nor of it* confines tires;
The rich, sweet-smelling soil upturning with
his spade
Where the dark earth, with little toil is
his few desires,
Al rusk and turmoil, of the greedy town,
Its sin and pride and shame, to him un¬
known;
beggar’s whine, nor surly Mammon's
frown;
Nor cracked-voiced Venders crying up and
Nortninkar d’s oath, nor ruifled virtue’s
moan.
Instead, the morning pulsing full with life,
O’erflooded with the varied songs of birds;
The pure, fresh air with scents of flowers
rife—
Nor discord here; nor sound of sordid strife,
But eloquence without disturbing words.
With swelling breast he roams the dewy
The meanest flow’r his joy and tender care;
The winds that, murm’ring, stir the tangled
reeds,
Fit orchestra adapted to the needs
Of Nature’s drama acted for him there
Of castle massive often he has read,
Of mq*que, of temple and cathedral
•»!. * grand-t. f
Yet turns for beauty to the fields instead,
some new pleasure wheresoe'er he
trSAdT
Li meadow, wood or on the yielding sand.
The cliff abrupt; the river’s silver flow;
The eagle’s flight; the tempest-ridden
wind; *
gleaming salmon swinging to and fro
In quiet pool, the timid, graceful roe—
AH dear companions of his student mind.
For Km the peace of dose converse with
. God,
To him the door of Nature opens wide;
The woods, the hills, the daisy-spangled sod,
He Joves them all-where others blindly
. te°d
He moves serene—his being satisfied.
Amid such scenes his gentle life is passed,
4^8 beet; ward of Wisdom, learning what is
creed to love, his church the vaulted
contemDlation richest at the last—
He falls asleep upon a kindly breast
-O. A* Banks, in Arkansaiv Trawler.
A SOLDIER’S KISS.
BY COLONEL JOHN P. MINES.
That truth is stranger than fiction is
one of the most threadbare of axioms,
rt resolved a new illustration in the
Strange through succession of circumstances
which Major Henry Estes won
his handsome blue-eyed wife.
forward Among the reefuits who were sent
to be mustered into a New
England cavalry regiment attached to
the Army of the Potomac, in the spring
of I80f, was a young man of fine ap
’xarauee |nd excellent education who
fom the first showed signs of hiving at
6ome time been under military drill.
No recruit ever fell into his place with
less trouble, or so rapidly adjusted him¬
self to the roughness and hardships of
Major Estes’s “Every inch tfie a soldier,” was
his glance comment first time that
rested on Private Herbert
Jauvrin, and neither in camp life nor in
battle had he ever any reason to modify
his verdict
The rank and file w.ith whom Jauvrin
associated could never quite make him
out. They recognized Instinctively that
he belonged to a higher social order
than their own j they Found ont that he
had traveled in many lands; they said
among themselves that he was a for¬
eigner just and yet were puzzled to know
dozen were languages, to place a man who spoke half
a and yet they were
never jealous or Ill-natured toward him.
He performed his duties with unfailing
conscientiousness; was in his place in
every hero in engagement; the proved himself a
hero m the skirmish skirmish at at St. Mary’s
Church and in the long and dangerous
raid to Trevyllian Station, and endeared
himselt to every man in his company by
some little act of kindness or cheery
word of comradship.
That there .
evident. was Not a mystery about him
was that he ever at¬
far tempted to create such an impression—
from it. But officers and men knew
that there must have been some strong
cause that had moved a man of his cul¬
ture to enlist as a private in a cavalry
regiment in which he had not a single
acquaintance. TheVe were hints enough
given him to break through his reserve
and talk about himself, but he always
brushed them aside with a laugh and the
oft quoted by-word of the camps: “Who
wouldn’t be a soldier.?”
"By Jove!” said the Colonel one day,
as Private Jauvrin retired from his pres¬
with a courtly salute, “.that fellow
has broken more than one heart, and in
codfish. our set,-too, Major, or I’m a Block Island
Put him in a swallowtail and
he would be the most distinguished
looking man in the regiment, and would
saunter through the lanciers liKe a lord.
I wish. 1 1 could do something for him.
but he doesn’t ask for promotion and
know who seem his to friends want it, and I don’t
I’d bet whale are so as to push that
a to a mackerel
there’s a woman in the case, and a mighty
pretty one, too.”
It was in the insignificant little skir¬
mish on the edge of Chapin’B Farms
that Private Jauvrin received a des¬
perate wound which caused him to be
sent to the C avalry Corps Hospital on
the Appomattox. At first he bade fair
to recover, and the whole regiment pre¬
pared Colonel to had welcome him back, and the
made interest at Washing¬
ton to procure his promotion to Second
Lieutenant. from the But one day a messenge messemrer
came that Corps Hospital with th e
note* Jauvrin 1 was worse, and with
an earnest ride request that him. Major Estes
over to see
' The Major had always manifested a
sincere liking for the soldier, and had
more than once to win his confi¬
with a sincere desire to befriend
He had not been successful, yet
*thero had always been that , sort of
friendship iSUnajor between Estes officer sit down and man and that talk
to
him of other other times fii and other scenes.
It was a shock to him to hear bad
tiding8 mind he of had tte associated‘with soldier wh om in his own of
and he honored a story
romance whom as an
MM9pl« of duty.
Ml
LlNCOLNTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY. MARCH 22, 1889.
It was on a chilly autumn afternoon
that the Major lifted the flap of the wall
tent in which Jauvrin lay on a rough
c ° l iet o» the bare ground. He was
shocked at the change in the wonnded
man’s appearance. The stalwart frame
had become reduced to skin and bone,
and only the eyes had retained the old
fire of life. He fairly started when the
ghost of the well-remembered and once
started ringing voice welcomed him, and tears
to his eyes as he grasped the thin
and wasted hand and said: “Poor fel
low, why did you not send for me be
■
The Major , stayed at the hospital that
night and, little by little, as the strength
of the speaker permitted, he learned the
story Born of Private Jauvrin.
to an old and honorable name
and the prospective inheritor
wealth, Herbert Jauvrin, after a wild
and wayward boyhood, had been com
missioned a Lieutenant in the British
army before he had reached his majority
and had fought gallantly before Sebas
topol. Among his papers would be
found, Le said, his commission and his
Crimean medal. On his return to Eng
land he had gone th^way of all young
men in his position and had exhausted
his income and the round of London
had pleasures. At last his father and family
cast him off and he had wakened
from , his dreams find himself deprived
to
of all resources untilhe succeeded to the
entailed estates of his family.
There was one pure spot, he said, in _
the darkness of his life. He had loved
and his love had been returned. “I did
not earth, know. ’ said there the was dying such soldier, lovliness _ until on I
met Helen Conyngham. I have her
picture here and you shall judge of her
yourself.” Here, with a painful effort,
he drew out a portfolio from under his
pillow and gave it to the Major. “Her
letters are here, too—do what you will
with the picture and the letters, and
only h write to her and tell her that I gave
jBjSKSSMW? Ar£Si ! J'V 3 rb” “(Tfi”
him a fetter to say that she would not
consent to see'him again until he could
253? ■« -<• «•
* ■»“* '“»■»
, in desperate , . mood , T Herbert _ , Jauvrin _ .
a
had sold his commission, taken steamer
for America and for a while had passed
other a .i! eo American JS a y. dlss ’P® cities. tlon 111 New At last York the and
evi able crisis came. His money had
gone and so were the friends of his
butterfly summer. When his last dollar
” een ?P en ^ he enlisted in a regiment
bo P e that a
friendly f bullet would soon end his
troubles. The bullet had come all too
soon, and had found him realizing in his
life as a private soldier what Helen
him Conyngham had tried to impress upon
about faithfulness to duty. It was
hard for him, he said, but no doubt it
was better for her. Only she would be
glad to hear that he had died a soldier’s
death.
The Major tried . to speak encouraging
words when he bade the soldier good
might night, but even then he feared that they
never meet again in life. Indeed,
when he went to the hospital tent next
morning Jauvrin’s the death dew was on Private
forehead and he could only
speak in the faintest whisper and with
catches of breath as he asked him to
pray for him. Major Estes knelt beside
the dying man and in low tones uttered
the Lord’s Prayer, holding the clammy
hands clasped in his pwn.
“I hank you—am I dying now?” were
the next words. The Major could no.t
speak. lie only looked sadly into the
eyes of the private soldier who in a
brief minute was to know the secret of
the eternities.
There must then have come some
sweet if sad remembrances of home
and human love to have, prompted the
last request of a soldier who was known
aS “WillTou^ Jdis^e?””’
Major Estes kneeled dowii and pressed
his lips to the chill lips that could make
no response, and when be had wiped
away his tears the man he had kissed was
dead.
little They buried Herbert Jauvrin in the
cemetery of the Cavalry Corps on
the banks of the Appomattox, Blit his
ashes do not repose there. They rest
under a costly monument in the parish
under church his of his fathers is the legend; in England, “Dead and
name on
the field of honor.”
When Major Estes, after his return to
camp, the little opened in the secrecy of his tent
had bequeathed portfolio which Herbert Jauvrin
to him he had no pre
monition that literally he held his fate
in his own hands. There was a locket of
Etruscan gold in one of the packets, and
when he had opened it he held it before
him as if he had been turned to marble
by the sight. The face was beautiful
beyond anything he had ever seen—at
least, so it seemed to him. Golden hair
and blue eyes and the mouth of Hebe,
intellect and health and grace were there,
oI 1 ^ com P ara ^ e beauty a firmness
t^V^h%Z As*^^edhe ii t umterstood d .. ^ %M6hhld d thG 9 w , hX
SK“ di “‘ r “ ,ly “ d 161 DOttop *'
W ? man '
.Joveibut W v? to? a pathetic moment
she never a
for her lost love's redemption.»
.
relatives It was of a painful Herbert jtosk Jauvrin—most tb wfife to the
ful of all t6 ^reak the death pain
news of Ms
to the woman he had loved. The Major
inclosed her own lettors to Miss Conyng
ham—all except a little formal hote ac
cepting an invitation to drive, though
why he had retained this he could not
explain to himself. The locket he prom
ised to forward by friends who were go¬
ing to England.
bomehow the locket did not go, aud
it would have puzzled his friends had
he been killed and this uqjcnown
found among the papers he always car
ried-with him- He came to regard it as
his tutelary divinity and had if faint su
perstition that it rendered him
vieus to bullets. At toy rate, he found
it easy to make excuses for its detention
in the correspondence which passed be
tween the original and himself, and
which he found so pleasant that he con
tinued it long after the close of the war.
been Finally appointed Major consul Estes wrote that he had
to one of the
cities of England and that he would take
an trait early in opportunity to restore the por
When person. the portiere that covered
the
entrance to one of the handsomest
houses in Cheltenham had been pushed
aside and Helen Conygham, magnificent
in her beauty, entered, Major Estes’s
heart beat so hard that he could scarcely
speak, and, indeed, he never knew what
he did say. What his heart was saying
was, “My queen.” For it fell down and
worshipped swerved her afterward then and from there and
never its al¬
legiance. They well
were soon Major acquainted-these
two— and though the fell in love
at fact once, or rather had been recognized love at once the
that he in ever since
he opened the locket, it was long before
he dared think that he was specially fa
vored by her and longer still before he
dared to s peak.
It was t he dead soldier who gave the
Major his wife. They often spoke of
him. The English maiden loved to hear
him tell of his battles and campaigning,
and fancied that it was not because the
Major was a hero in dreamed her eyes, while he,
modest man, never of exalting
his own deeds. Indeed, with a girlish
he bashfulness,he had had never fold of the kiss
giving the dying soldier; it had
seemed sacred to himself and the dead,
English Oneevenin garden ig they wandered the in the old
In at back of the
mansion Cheltenham, and there, as
they stood under the shade of a great
oak, Major When Estes he recounted had finished the whole
scene. both of
her hands were in his and she was weep
ino
“I have never-kissed anybody since, ”
t^USSS.’ffi&KS ‘•as
>*
“ ad ° assistance. T JV/ Xt ““"“J
was m his amu, and before a word
good And fortune golden-haned that gave me my wife.”
the matron who is
the crown and glory of his household,
and who is the most loval of American
wives, is never the days wearv the of talking and
of of war.
If the spirits of the dead are allbwed
to mix themselves with the turmoil of
our i ives Herbert Jauvrin must be happy
j n seeing the happiness wrought out by
the soldier’s kiss. — The Mercury.
______
The Netv Japanese Sinister.
The new Japanese Minister, Mr Mutsu,
has one of the most beautiful homes and
interesting households in Washington,
His wife is a bright and refined woman,
but a little timid becausse she does not
speak and well English. informed He is a scholarly man
the United concerning the affairs
of States and politics of
his Europe, as well as topics He connected English with
own country. talks but
little, but is They improving have three rapidly children, by ex
perience. and daughter two
sons a fourteen years old,
who is now at school in this city, and
has for a companion, Miss Kuki, the
daughter of in the former Minister. It is
a custom Japan for rich men who
have no children of their own to adopt
them, and Mr. Fura Kawa, a gentleman
of enormous wealth, has adopted Mr.
Mutsu’s eldest son, a young man eighteen
years old, who has taken the name of
his adopted with father, his although he is living
at present natural father, the
Minister, and studying law at Columbia
College in this oity. Mr. Eato, the
Secretary of Legation, was educated at
Greencastle, Ind., and speaks English
fluently.— Chicago News.
Where Lodgers are Hung Up to Sleep.
blackness Plunging the about other night on the levee in the
a reporter dis
covered a retreat, the novelty of which
knocked lodging house him ail but in there a heap. It was a
were no beds.
T be « uests did “ ot r « cIino on th ° fl °° r
eitber > ““ the "'T ' The hungup on hooks,
? et / s e P f ' room was per
ha P s EevmUy^ve , feet deep by twenty
wlde ' ; 4b ° ut three feet from the wall,
and extendmg around it, was a rope
fa8ttmed P osts P‘a<* d at intervals. It
was abo | lt tv e faet * r T tte ^° or and
was slightly , slack , similarly Underneath stretched it were
otbo r ropes the
tvboie , Tesembhng ^ a rojie fence. With
^ ac ^ S *1° 1S and with
bo ,^ armS th / 0W “ °I er ll t0 kee P from
fa ’ 1,n U; were twenty-two persons, mostly
colored, but among them were several
wrctched ^ tlte “ e “’ aud a11 were ® lea P‘
??S . s ° undl ?,\v J, was dlml v
bghted, and the old darkey -
^y waiting for proprietor
Ba t.P at i en char ,f for more guests to
arr * ve ’ or
Tatber to . hang on the ropes all night, is
but hv0 cents.— LoutnUU-Gouner
ourrM ,
•
- — -
Tlle Fearful Kliyber Pass Massacre.
One of the most terrible, as it is also
ness Cathedra? Thte^ladv’l father^
t he f amou3 Dr January Brvdon iks-tto of the on/aur- Afghan
massacre of
counting sssrsssn women nMidren, 26,000
who set out from Cahul on that ill
rred journey, and he was the only
® De w bo bad escaped. Between the dork
°t had Jugdullak their the murderous
Afghans fill of blood. The
death-trap ran with the gorp of soldiers,
camp followers, women aud children
®like. Dr. Brydon alone escaped .—Few
Tlrl; Telegram.
Brooklyn's education special committee on in
duatriai reports to the Board
of Education in favor of teaching sew
j n g in the public girls in schools. these There are
about 35,000 schools. The
abovo committee has existed two and a
half years, and has acted deliberately in
this matter.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HL'MOROCS SKETCHES FROM
VAB.OV, .OBBCEA
Sbe Scored One—She Felt Wretched
About It—The Other String
to the How—Tough
—Etc., Etc.
Quoth Consent he: “You are my life, dear girl.
my wife to be.”
‘I cannot, George,” she quick returned.
“The law forbids, you see.”
“The law forbids:” he gasped. “Yes, George,”
She play should fully replied,
“Ifyou You’d take ‘your life,’ of course,
be a suicide.”
— Yonkers Gazette.
She Felt Wretched About It.
Mrs. Gushington— ‘ Why, Jnlia, what
makes you look so down-hearted V'
Julia—“My servant has left me, and
is compelled Sifttngs. to do all the housework.”
,—
The Other String to the Bow.
are winter, going to keep the children warm this
Alfred.”
Mr. afford Smallsalary—“Well, fire I suppose
can a part of the time, and
part of the time we can take turns spank¬
ing them .”—Burlington Free Press.
To«, ofi* * '
Mr. „ , Long Waiting . . (the tailor)—“I
would like very much to see Mr. Ba
boonj. A a important matter of
ness, you know-” -
sif, sir, and which can’t be he seen. shall He's a staling,
coat wear to the club
to-day, and it'd be ruin to me if I bin -
terrnpted “ him,sir!”— Siftings.
.
A Faithful Heart.
Tumblethwaite had proposed and been
accepted, and as he slipped the engage
ment ^donate: ring upon her finger, he said trem
“Darling, this finger, you will always wear it
upon won’t you?” and the
girl with ashy glance of love, replied:
. “Always, George, always—when I am
with you.’ Life.
Otherwise He Was Safe.
thet Hooligan—“So ye do bees teelin’ me
Brannigan was mnrthered be bur
glars?”
Mooney— “Yis, be jabbers, it’s a fact.”
Hooligan—“An : did they get his
money?”
Mooney—“Niver a cent. Sure he had
it hid safe, an’ barrin’ losin’ his life
Brannigan kim out wid a whole shkinu”
American.
r- fi I, „ pr __' ding.
r Gus Snoterly c , , “These Chinese must
^“? _ Roickerboeiker . , , , , ‘What . , have
r ,e
they , been doing now;”
I have been reading how they make
ow owe before e ore Vhe the beginning hemnnin'^of of the lew new
im thTsCunt^” 1 ^ CUS ‘
t in
“Whatif they do? There’s TO, • no danger A
of its spreading. Siftings.
Sing Far Away.
1 „ T ^ smg? . . he asked, , , when ,
they had j persuaded him to sit down
on
the piano stool in the saloon.
‘When the J? Tide a ] d one Comes ' In,” said .
an
other.
“Sailing,” “Oh, proposed a third.
irascible ,.,nin sing ‘r arAway,’ suggested the
old gentleman cfh the back
settee .—The Ocean.
How to L arn German.
Mr. “Ifyou Leo want to learn German,” said
how Hirsch,State printer, “l ean tell
you to do so in twenty-four hours.”
chorus ‘■TVell, and tell us,” said his auditors in
with increased interest.
guage,” said Mr. Hirech, slowly,soberly,
and with emphasis; “divide*it into
twenty-four iwemy-iour parts, pans, and ana learn team one one nart
*
a t
*
Mra uiirfc ‘ dlCk rtn °i.i Ca e «.tv Tk * ls • n ?ff
little four-year-old Johnny, T u . Mrs. Hob- TT
•°M„ Hobson „_.***,
wb ff bless your sweet little heart come
bttle r*.i kiss >!? me and ,i what Oh, what little a delightful breath,
a nice
Can you tell me your dear little name?”
‘ d f tbn b ith Johnny Wat
routh Wathmgton Harnthon Thhck.”—
Yipooh.
Rejuvenated.
“Did you ever notice tljpt the
fectioner’s name is on these cookies?”
queried “No.” Waggley.
<.w int e ii :* ig and there’s onlv one thine S
, ack ..^Lt’s about’it “
thaM”
« a date.”
And then the landlady, after dinner,
t0 °k ’em out on the back stoop
aa * d P a P- d '^.-Detroit Free Press.
telk at table ’ m y daar -”
“t an’t I just say one thing?”
his pa^fThl v^yTalk ” “ ,d
snra-astr. ‘ver like eveathintt ’’-Time
over like everyt hing. Ume.
' ~
An Kasy One.
gabalus, “Fapa,” “what sweetly relation lisped little the children Helio
are
Of first cousins to one another?”
“Second cousins, of course,” replied
Agrippinus. “Nop. again.”
Guess
“They certainly are.”
“Nop." “What relation they,then,!marty i’ .
are
“Brothers and sisters, of course.”
Agrippinus studied combination.—-Sun fully five minutes
before he found the
Franciseo Examiner.
Mercantile Confidence.
“Jimplecute & Go. have failed,” said
the confidential clerk of Hardscrabble <fc
Hardscrabble to the senior partner.
do “Well, ^ they don’t owe us anything,
L-f&S^ e yI” «k«d the senior partner.
“Bah!” said the Senior partner, in dis
gust, “that is not a failure at alL That
is the work of dunderheads', sir. Do not
degrade it the word unbusiness-like’ ‘failure’ by applying
Iam to. a mere smash-up.
surprised at yon, Mr. Longmeter.”
A Crushing Blow.
basket “May I look through your waste
ing timidly. !” inquired the young man, enter¬
do “Certainly,” said the editor, “What
you want to find?”
“A little poem on ‘Mortality’ that I
sent in yesterday.”
“My dear sir. that poem was accepted
and will appear to-morrow. I will draw
J0U acheck for #25, and I assure you
But he spoke to lifeless ears. The
young man had fallen to the floor. The
The Real Estate Boom Had Passed.
few “Joshua,” said a farmer, who lived a
miles from a Western town, in con
next “I spring?” don’t
know, father, I hadn’t
thought of it. How would the land
down by the creek do?”
“Down by the creek.’” repeated the
oldman, scornfully. “We’il plant them
the corner of 180th and Gay streets,
six, block .317, Jenkins’s addition to
the City of Swamp Hollow."—JfereA/mf
Traveler.
_
The Judge Sighed.
C0Urt r00 ”’ the
“? rtled b T a f funoas nolse 111
1 ? ■
uv Founeeda , t kies :n there, , he cried, . ,
“for u , we don t intend to let you out till
- T0U are read v wiUl Jour verdict This
-
is an important case.”
“For heaven’s _ _____ sake let us out,” one of
the jurTmen shouted,
“Have you got a verdict'”
“No, but——”
“Then you can't come out”
“I tell you that_”
“And I tell you that you are not com
ing The^ioise out”
within became more furious,
the cries became loud and distressing.
The bailiff at length open the door.
The jurymen 'rushed out, followed by a
dense volume of smoke. The room was
on fire. When the judge heard of the
jury’s narrow escape, he sighed sadiy.
He had had much experience with ju
Ties, so much, indeed, that he has had the
bailiff’s salary reduced .—Arkansas Traz
eler.
-
The New Reporter Gets Solid.
It was the new reporter who had come
in, covered with perspiration and dust,
as the la 3 t form went to press. '
“Did it take you all day to do that
park water works detail,’’snarled the city J
editor
“S-s-h! speak low,” whispered the
new “special’ in the C. E.’s car. “Got
0 n to an A1 suicide out in the park— ^
defab ' atl0n ’ P^bably.”
“Great Casar! and we have gone to
pres8) » gasped t he editor; “the after
noon papers will get a beat on us to¬
morrow. ” -
“Not much Tchuckled the reporter; “I
knew I couldn’t get here in time for the
last edition, so I just queered the find.”
“What do you mean V 1
bushes “Why, and I dragged the body into the
covered it up with grass and
things. To A bloodhound couldn’t find it.
_________ morrow we will _____ develop ______ the ________ claim
and give ’em a two-column sensation.”
With tears in his eyes the city editor
arose and' fell upon his subordinate’s
neck. “You are an honor to the profes¬
sion,” he sobbed; “Fll see that your
salarv is increased #2 a month. I will,
by jingo!”— Union Printer.
A Big Bag and a Small Potato.
*?“! P ut ° ut a b,t lf tbe
dres8es Ter y neatly and is not given to
once led to a remark about him that set
®U Wilkesbarre to laughing. ■ He had
a very handsome pin in the
shape lond of a bug, which was of rather
size and pretty conspicuous. It
about it, and that scarf pin became the talk
of the town.‘One day a prominent German
saloon keeper passed Mr. Palmer as the
latter stood at his office door, looked out
the corner of his eye at the scarfpin and
sm ii e <l. Instantly the attorney, in his
quick, sharp way, said:
“Well, Duchy, what’s the matter with
you? What nodings,'Mr. are vou laughing at?” i
“Oh, Balmer?”
“Yes you were. You were laughino witS
at this scarfpin. What’s the matter
it?”
“I guess it’s all right, Mr. Balmer.”
“Well, look at it and see. T Is " there
anything it.” the matter with it? Examine
The German drew nieh carofullv gravel/
scanned the pin, looked it over wSen Mr*
a*d was aboit to turn away,
rtktta.
“I <Jon’d know but vat I think I never
before saw so big a bug on so schmall a
DS ^ off with a queer
Inventor of Hot Water Beverages.
Charles B. Stephens writes to the New
York World from Bridgeport, Conn.;
of “Dr. J. H. Salisbury is not the inventor
‘Hot Water as a Beverage or a Medi
cine.’ Years ago Mrs. Flavia clairvoyant,* A. Thrall
of Poquannock, Conn., a
prescribed this remedy for me, and 1
have used it, as - have hundreds of
others, with addition gratifying results. She ad
vised the a little salt, which
rendered it more palatable and also more
healthful. Dr. Salisbury only confirms
what a farmer’s wife iu an unconseious
sleep able gave to her patients—a very valu
prescription."
It is generally conceded that the com
crop exceeded 2,000,000,000 bushels.
Sobseriptioa: $1.85 la idYUM.
TO-MORROW.
The davspara, and the weeks, the t
the years
As waves upon lime’s shore, they brash
and pass;
With every season’s round a new face wean
The mighty world that fa our smallUfe’i
glass:
And still, as flows the tide of joy or sorrow,
‘Tomorrow’’’ do we sigh, and yat “To
morrow T
Comes April with her sudden gleams and
glooms.
Her bright noons of laughter and of show¬
ers, »
fhs sun flecked shade beneath white orchard
: blooms. •
Her wealth of primrose and of cowslip
flowers:
And yet, for this largesse, from May to bor¬
row
Full fain are we, and murmur still, “To¬
morrow!”
Now summer's here Warm skies are o’er
ns bait;
White sheaves of lilies rise against the
blue; j
The very airs are hot and indolent,
Breathing the rose walks they have wan¬
dered through.
No thought have we for winter’s death and
sorrow,
Yet must we sigh, unsatisfied, “To-mor¬
row'.” /
Lo, autumn’s garnere, rich with goldon
grain,
Fair fruit in orchards, nuts brown on the
tree,
Last poppy petals, falling in red rain,
Blue mists at morn about the daisied lea!
Now lot* we, mournful, out to coming sor
row,
And sigh, with falling breath, “Alas, to¬
morrow I”
— Morley.
PITH AND POINT.
How to get along in the world—Walk.
Self-possessed—Bachelors and old
maids.
Good suits for bald-headed men—
Mohair.
A cool proceeding—Driving an ice
wagon.
A bat that flies without wings—A
brickbat
The weigh of the world—16 ounces to
the pound.
“There’s the end of time,” said the man
who.had just sold his wtXch.—Merchant , ,, , .
T.aee^r.
“Give us a lift,” said the big dumb
bell to the heavyweight showman.—
Merchant Traveler.
Professional men are not always large
landholders, but the dentists of Atlanta
handle many achers.— Constitution.
Experimental philosophy—Asking phi- a
man to lend vou money. Moral
losophy—Refusing to do it —Few York
Ledger. The of
lace curtains at the windows a
house are not so reliable an index of the
fiiC3 [ po i icy prevailing in it as the
clotheslines.
Said a Toronto orator the other day,
in ptetfd speakine MrlwL of Canada- J Vear “She 'shelias has com
hhst M
tained her manhood.”
“Jana youDg man marry comfortably
on #500 a year?" asks a correspondent, bedeucedly
“Yes, he can; but he will
uncomfortable afterward .”—Burlington
Free Press.
Ye students braakethe ya mayden’s harte;
Bnt He eke, langheth breaketh unaware; hys poeketbooke.
she
Which maketh matters square.
—The Pennsylvanian.
lady—“Haveyou hammered brass?’
Absent-Minded Clerk—“Well, I should
say I had. I used to be a member of
of the Haytown Band, and played the
cymballs.”
A ben may chuckle and cluck and cackle,
And furnish two eggs a day;
But with her smart tricks, she can never lay
bricks.
Because she ain’t built that way.
—Atlanta Constitution.
She—“What does the signal say,
Captain?” Captain— “Bark Frances, of
Lima, Peru.” She—“My! Then they I’ve
seen a real Peruvian bark that
make tonic of, haven’t I?"— Ocean.
Next we shall hear of a dhtective get¬
ting killed in order to convict somebody
of murder. One of these gentry has just
had a tooth filled by a dentist who prac¬
tised without a license, in order that he
might testify against him. We would
like to fill a detective’s tooth who was
trying to convict us of something if
we knew it at the time.— Life.
Drowned Raised by Ordnance.
The bodies of drovfned persons are
sometimes brought to the surface of the
water by the effect firing of ordnance near the
spot. This is produced when the
body has been in the water and has be¬
come, equal through in chemical the processes, nearly
gravity to water itself, so
that a very slight disturbance of the wa¬
ter will cause the body to move. When
a gun is fired near' the surface of the wa¬
explosion, ter a partial vacuum the mouth is created of the by the.
near cannon,
the atmospheric pressure on the surface
is decreased and the water tends to rise
to fill the vacuum, causijig little waves
to rise. Also, bubbles are liberated.
This upward motion being felt from be¬
neath, the body will rise with even so
slight of a force at the top. The percentage drowned
successful attempts to raise
bodies by this method is very small.—
Few York Bispateh.
Since 1872 Germany and France hafe
both more than doubled the actual war
strength strength of their armies, and the total
war of the seven Continental
powers, has risen counting from the 6.142,000 Balkan Slates as
one, to 10,480,
000. If we add to tnis host of trained
fighters partially-trained on a war footing the classes of
men in the second and
final reserve we get an imposing
total drawr^into of 000 soldiers all liable to
be and the less next withdrawn European war,
now more or from
peaceful vocations, #600,000,000. at a total annual
public cost of
Germany will connect her railway sys¬
tem with the new direct route to Con¬
stantinople, saving twelve hours. This
action is to be taken with a view to
competing with tho French route to the
Fast.. - ■' •
An Indiana'man recently ate sixty
two raw eggs on a wager,