Newspaper Page Text
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THE LINCOLNTON NEWS —
VOLUME IX. NUMBER 6,
XHX GREAT SOUTH AUSR1CAS
NERVINE TONIC
. ^ ,: - A
^ 1|
Stomach^Liver Cure
M ^ A ® SSj ery: °'
H
- ttSrrstt^Ue th r e ui5ra NMt ^ ; '
ag nt ? been tnown by the native inhab
Amer i ca > L rely ?V moE t wholJ y opoa its great medicinal
powoa to cure every form of disease - by which , they are overtaken. t.„
m-lsSlTvSrSr «*& unknown V , UabIe to Sou the , tb Ame medical . ric an profession. xnememS possesses This medicine power* and has
Com piaintand disease tbe P roble m of ^ care 0? Indigestion, Dvspepsia, Liver
of the , general Nervous System. It also cures all
’ • ^ ° f l n? a mc • g .Titles fro which “ whatever it possesses cause. and It by performs its great this curative by the Great
upon the digestive organs, the stomach, the liver and the bowels. powers
with this wonderfully No remedy
compares valuable Nervine Tonic as a builder and
strengthens of the life forces of the human body fitid as a great renewer of
abroken down constitution. It is also-of more real permanent value in the
treatment and cure of diseases of the Lungs than any ten consumption rem
edies ever used on this continent. It is a marvelous cure for nervousness
te ^ mles °f a “ ageS- Ladies who are approaching the critical period known
as change m life, should not fail to use this great Nervine Tonic almost
otrf cmistantly.for the danger. the Space This^ of twb or three years. It will cany them safely
great strengthener and curative is of inestimable
value to the aged and infirm; because its great energizing properties wiH
giye them a new hold on life. It will add ten or fifteen years to the lives of
1aan y of those who will use a half dozen bottles of the remedy each year.
CURES
Nervousness and JSroken Constitution,
Nervous Prostration, Debility of Old Age,
Nervous Headache and Indigestion and Dyspeps ia,
Sick Headache, Heartburn and Sour Stomach,
Female Weakness, Weight and Tenderness in Stomach,
All Diseases of Women, Loss of Appetite,
Nervous Chills, Frightful Dreams,
Nervous Paralysis, Paroxysms Dizziness and Kinging in the Earn,
and Weakness of Extremities and
Nervous Choking Fainting,
liot Flashes, Impure and Impoverished Blood,
Palpitation Mental Despondency, of the Heart, Boils and Carbuncles,
SJee Scrofulous Bcrofula,
„ Jt- vT- Vituss . tv Dance, Consumption Swelling of the and Lungs, Ulcers,
Nervousness of Females, Catarrh of the Lungs,
Nervousness of Old Age, Bronchitis and Chronic Cough,
Paps Neuralgia, , Liver Complaint,
Paifie p thp Heart, • Chronic Diarrhoaa, - -
in. the Back, j Delicate and Sorofuloua Children,
1 Health. ^ Summer Complai n 'f of Infants.
All there and many other complaints cured by this won, ful Nervine Tonic.
NERVOUS DISEASES.
■' Ab a cure for every class of Nervous Diseases, bo remedy has been able
to compare with the Nervine Tonic, which is Very pleasant and harmless in
all its effects upon the voungest child or the oldest and most delicate individ¬
ual. Nine-tenths of all the ailments to which the human family is heir, arc
insufficient dependent on nervous exhaustion and impaired digestion. When there is an 1
the brain, spinal supply of nerve and food in the blood, a general state of debility of j
marrow nerves is the result. Starved nerves, like
starved muscles, become strong when the right kind of food is supplied, and
,a thousand weaknesses and ailments disappear as the nerves recover. As the
nervous system must supply all tbe power by which the vital forces of the
body Ordinary are carried food on, it is the first to suffer for want of perfect nutrition.
does not contain a sufficient quantity of the kind of nutriment
necessary the to repair For the this wear our present it becomes mode or living and labor imposes
upon supplied. nerves. This production reason necessary that a nerve food be
recent of the South American Continent has been
found, by analysis, to contain the essential elements out of which nerve tissue
is formed. This accounts for its magic power to cure all forms of nervous
Ckawfomsvillz, Ind, Aug. 20, ’86.'
To the Great South American Jfedictns CO. :
Dess Gents:— I desire to say to you that I
have suffered for many years with a very seri¬
ous disease ot the stomach arid nerves. I tried
every medicine I could hear of but nothing
done me any appreciable good until I was ad¬
vised to try your Great South A mcrican Neryine
Tonic and Stomach and Liver Cure, and since
using surprised several Us bottles wonderful ot it I must say that I am
at powers to cure the
stomach and general nervous system. If every¬
one knew the value of this remedy as I do, you
Would not be able to supply the demand..
J. A. Hardee,
Er-Treas. Montgomery Co.
A SWORN CORE FOR ST. VITUS’S DANCE DR CHOREA.
My daughter, CraWYORwville, twelve Ind., old, May had 19,1886. been af¬
flicted for several months years with Chorea St.
or
Vitus’s Dance. She was reduced to a skeleton;
could not walk, could milk. not I talk, had could handle not swal¬ her
low anything but to
like an infant. Doctor and neighbors gave her
' up. I commenced Tonic; giving the effects her the South Ameri¬
can Nervine were very sur¬
prising. In three days she was rid of the ner¬
vousness, her and completely. rapidly improved. I think Four the bottles South
cured American Nervine the grandest remedy
ever
discovered, and would recommend W. it to every¬
one. Mss. S. Ensjunger.
State Montgomery of Indiana, County, f
Subscribed and swortt to before me this May
|9,1S87. Chas, M. Travis, Notary Public,
INDIGESTION AND DYSPEPSIA.
The Great South American Nervine Tonic A
Which we now offer of you, Indigestion, is the only Dyspepsia, absolutely and unfailing the remedy ever discov¬
ered for the cure vast train of symptoms
end horrors which are the result of disease and debility of tbe human stom¬
ach. No person can afford to pass by this jewel of incalculable value who io
affected by disease of the Stomach, because the experience and testimony of
thousands go to prove that this is the one and only one great cure in tho
world for this Universal destroyer. There is no case of nnmalignant diseas*
of the stomach which can resist the wonderful curative powers of the South
American Nervine Tonic. ■.'V
Harriet E. South American say as
“I owe my life to The Great
Nervine. I had been in bed for five months
from the effects of an exhausted Stomach, In
difrestion, Nervous Prostration and a general
shattered condition of my whole system. Had
the Nervine Tonic improved me so much that I
was able to walk about, atid a few bottles medicine cured
me entirely. I- believe it the best in
the world. I can Hot recommend it too highly.’
Mrs. M. Bussell, Sugar Creek bottles Valley, of Ind., Tho
writes: “I have used several
believe it saved the lives of two of my children.
They were good down until and I nothing procured appeared this remedv. to do
them any surprising how rapidly they both
It was very its Xreconraend the medi¬
improved on use.
every bottle WARRAI
Price, Large 18 ounce Bottl
t. CR QVt&d
Sole Wholesale ai
DEVOTED TO TELE INTEREST OP LINCOLN COUNTY.
Mr. Solomon Bond, a member of the Society
of Friends, of Darlington, Ind., says: "I have
used twelve bottles of The Great South Ameri¬
can Nervine Tonic and Stomach and Liver Cure,
and I consider that every bottle did for me one
hundred dollars worth of good, because I have
not had a good night’s sleep for twenty years
on account of irritation, pain, horrible dreams,
and general nervous prostration, which has
been caused by chronic indigestion and dys¬
pepsia condition of the of stomach and system. by a But broken down I
lie down and my sleep nervous all now can
and I feel like night as sweetly ns a baby,
a sound man. I do not think
there has ever been a medicine introduced into
this country which will at all compare with
this.Nervine Tonic as a cure for the stomach."
Cbawfoedstoxe, Ind., Jane. 22,1ST.
My daughter, eleven years old, was severely
afflicted with St. Vitus’s Dance or Chorea, We
gave her three and one-hall bottles of South
American Nervine and she is completely re¬
stored. I believe it will cure every case of St.
' Vitus’s Bance. I have kept it family for
and in my
two years, am sure it is tlie greatest rem¬
edy in the world for Indigestion and Dyspep¬ Failing
sia, all forms of Nervous Disorders and
Health from whatever cause.
John T. Mish.
^SL^ountv Subscribed and to before this June
sworn mo
22,1887. Chas. W. Notary Weight, Public.
“I not how much I Indiana, the
says: Nervino can Tonic. express My completely' owe to
shattered, appetite system was coughing 'ana
spitting blood; gone, was I in the
up am sure was firat
stages of consumption,-*n Inheritance handed
down through several generations. I began <
taking for tbe about Nervine six months, Tonic and and continued Am entirely its
use
cured. It is the grandest remedy for nerves,
stomach and lungs I bavo ever ser
“My Ed. health J. Brown, had Druggist, been of Edina, for Mo., writes:
coughing severely. I only very weighed poor 110 years, pounds was
when Nervine. I commenced I have used using-South bottles American and
two now
weigh 130 pounds, and am much stronger and
better than have been for five years. Am sura had
would not have lived through the Winter
I not secured this remedy. My customers it eagerly. sea
what it has done satisfaction.” for me and buy
It gives great
LINCOLNTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1890.
THAN KSOI VINO.
Welcome, thou grand old Fe*at-d*yl
Again thou russet fields
Lie idle in the soft, grey light,
Shorn of their splendid yields;
Witti farewell golden-rod.
And gentian fringes dosed above
The tinted olive sod.
But thou, 0 grand old Feast-day,
Thou hast no need of theae
To draw ns to thee. Though thou bring
Gray skies and lea flees trees—
A hundred welcomes to thee t
Ye altar-fires at home,
Shins out—and kindred gather
From sea to moan tain dome!
So hail thee, grand old Feast-day!
The wind-swept orchard boughs
Have flung their ruddy gold and green
Upon the earth; the mows
Are rich with grain; the farrows
Sleep ’neath the sun’s veiled ray_
And all the land is glad and greets
A new Thanksgiving Day!
—Helen Chase.
•The Ladv and the Diamond,
A THANKSGIVING STOBT.
T was the eve of
m ' Thanksgiving, a dark
eve, too, with the rain
P | M'/t Tailing agreeable in a most dis
wilt drizzle. Un¬
d " wraps and um¬
brellas people whom
^ business railed out
J0m hurried with of them presents home. were laden Some and
good cheer for the feast. All were glad.
Even those whose attire bespoke pinched
conditions and only too little of the
things that go to make life worth the
living fondled closely to them some lit¬
tle parcel with which they would glad¬
den their humble homes.
In the throng that wended its way
down toward the Wall Street Ferry was
a girl looking older than she really was,
Jennie Desmond. She, too, had her
little parcel with her with which she was
hastening to her home on Dean street
Brooklyn. She was employed in the
office of a diamond merchant in Maiden
lane cleaning tbe precious stones that
ladies of wealth sent in to be brightened
up for the holidays. The crush of busi
ness had been unusually great, and Jen¬
nie, who had the entire confidence of
the .firm, was intrusted with a magnificent
pendant, the property of Mrs. Vander¬
poel, who resides on Fifth avenue, less
than a block away from the palatial home
of the Vanderbilts. The pendant had
to be cleaned for a ball on Thanksgiving
and Jennie had taken it with her to fix
it up at home, as she had frequently
done before with others of almost equal
value.
She was careful in securing it to her
person. She carried it on a string about
her neck beneath her clothing and
trudged on through the wet and mud
unconscious of any impending misfor¬
tune. Indeed, the bundle under her
arm, containing a small present for her
mother, enlisted her attention more than
did the gem she wore about her neck.
She wa3 oblivious of the jam and jostle
about her. Everybody was crowding the
other good-naturedly, as only an Amer¬
ican metropolitan crowd can. At times
the current in the human tide that flowed
through the ferry gate lifted her almost
from her feet. Still she thought only
of her home and of the Thanksgiving
gi'V for her mother. Gladness is always
infectious and all-absorbing, If she
was crushed and crowded and jostled it
was by people who, like herself, were
battling good-humoredly with each other
in a desire to get fiome early and gladden
their friends.
That was the scene and these the feel
ngs about the ferry home. Just at its
gates, however, two little boys were
standing crying out tbe evening papers.
They felt the pitiless, chilling rain as it
beat through their scant clothing and ate
its way to the very marrow in their bones.
They had nothing to bo thankful for.
The weather was against the sale of their
wares,' and the only trace of sunshine in
their homes must come by the pennies
earned from day to day.
One of them, a pale faced lad, shivered
in a corner, where he found shelter from
the driving rain. He was a timid boy,
known to his comrades as “Mugsy” and
to a bedridden father and a little sister
as Sammy Fox. His home, if a place to
shelter one from the weather and a floor
to lie upon could be called a home, was
in a row- of old, rickety tenements in
Cherry street known as “Italian alley.”
The crowds at the ferry and their laugh¬
ing faces and good-natured railery were
only a mockery and a taunt to him. They
were' too much bent upon getting home
to care to stop to buy the papers. The.
hours wore on and the tide had ebbed and,
the streets began to thin of its crowds,
and only a few pennies had rewarded the
efforts ofth* boy.
close in the lee of the
Brener ordered him off,
his eye fell upon
j fijj BHe had never seen
> inieforo. ft pleased him
Id. He watehed his oppor
stole up to *• .•ffioptly, but
v * V
as he came the light seemed to
fade out of it. He picked it up, took it
over with him to Franklin •quare, qnd
there under the lights he began to er
•mine his find. He was pleased with its
bright gleamings. It would be a toy for
his water, and he put it carefully away
in his pocket. What it was he had no
idea.
The night was bad for Mugsy. He had,
in the parlance of the street, “been
stuck” on his papers. He had not sold
enough of them to even recoup himself
from logs. To go home without a cent
wag out of the question. Muggy had no
education, but he had been bom with a
heart that told him his presence, though
always welcome, would lend an added
gloom to the already darksome home un¬
less he brought money for bread. It
would be three hungry instead oi two.
So long as he was out there might be
some hope for earning a little, So, un
til nearly midnight he dodged about the
streets, and then when the hour had been
passed he staggered into the office of the
Press y and down in the room where news¬
boys wait for the paper the lad threw
himself down in a corner to sleep. The
whirring of the press awoke him and be
was soon out. Up town he went to
Fifth avenue to eatch a dime from
generous givers on Thanksgiving • day.
In front of a window he took his stand
shortly before noon.
The carriages rolled by and the little
urchin, hungry and tired, was more
asleep than awake. He was on the North
Side when services at the Cathedral COB
eluded and the crowds came out. He
ran to cross the street to sell his papers
when a carriage came rushing along.
There was a cry from some people to the
powdered and liveried driver, but it came
too late. The boy was under, the wheels.
The lady, who was the only occupant of
mi mm
, t? -
•T m Jr m
itBi rM
rm
f.
.
1 m 1 1
V i
if: mu
u ; •
w STi
i&,
Jennie’s-appeal for mbrcv.
the carriage, ordered the driver to stop,
and took the newsboy into the carriage.
It was less than a block to her home, and
thither the little fellow was taken. He
was unconscious. The family physician
came, and in removing the poor urchin’s
clothing to examine his injuries the
bright toy he had found at the Wall
Street Ferry fell out. It was a magnifi¬
cent diamond pendant, and was handed
to the lady of the house, who was greatly
surprised, as she thought she recognized
it as her own. It resembled one she had
sent to her diamond cleaner in Maiden
lane—was identical in every particular.
It was strange. Perhaps, then, the lad
was a thief, somebody said, but Mrs.
Vanderpoel insisted upon the utmost at¬
tention being given him. He might be
a thief, but it was Thanksgiving day.
Meantime there had been sad scenes in
the home of the Desmond girl, When
she reached the tenement in Dean street
she felt none of the inconveniences of the
journey. She was wet and tired, but the
little surprise she had in store for her
mother made her forgetful of herself.
Ten minutes nearly were spent in looking
at the present and commenting upon it.
Then Jennie retired to change her wet
clothing. Once in her room her first
thought was of Mrs. Vanderpoel’s gem.
She put her hand about her neck to draw
it up, when, to her horrojr, she found
that it was gone. She could not realize
it at first. She examined her apparel,
but as article after article was searched
and no trace of the pendant was had, her
alarm became intense. She hurried back
to the ferry over the way she came,
through the same streets and up to the
very door of the store of her employer.
Still she could find no trace. She made
anxious inquiries at the ferry house if
“anything” had been found by the em¬
ployes, but received a negative answer.
She did not dare tell them what it was
she had lost. Up and down the street,
far into the night, she walked, her eyes
in a vain search for the gem.
All night she lay awake,~apd hex
mother shared her sorrow. The situa
tion was oue of grave md&enrfor both,
were poor. Th-j pendant was
worth many thousands of dollars'. Thsse
two facts, with the aid of the imagination
of a prosecuting attorney, were all-suffi
cient $oi a cohvictioi. The morning
broke heavily for thin. She did »t
tll) her employer until her last
source -was gone. £i
to tell the the pendant and
throw herself upon her mercy. Pale
trembling, she came to this city and
proached the rich home. More than
she faltered at the threshold, but
rang the bell. She implored permission
to see Mrs. Vanderpoel. It was in vain
for the porter to tell -her to call again.
She must see her, she said. Her impor¬
tunities finally prevailed, and in the par¬
lor she saw the lady. In a voice broken
with sobs she told the story, and throw¬
ing herself upon her knees, piteously
begged for mercy. She saw both dis¬
honor and possibly the prison staring her
in the face.
-Mrs. Vanderpoel listened to the story.
She asked the girl to be seated, and then
sent for the physician and inquired after
the boy. He was all right. He had re¬
gained consciousness. Mrs. Vanderpoel
asked the girl to remain, and then went
out of the room. She went to the boy.
She showed him the pendant- found in
his pocket. His eyes brightened.
“Dat’s what I got for Lena,” he said;
dat’s Lena’s.”
“Who is Lena?” asked the lady.
“She’s my sister what’s wid dad down
home.”
“And where did you get this?”
“I got it down at the ferry las’ night.
I seen it shinin’, and I kep’ it for her.”
“Why did you not give it to her?”
“ ’Cause I had no money to go home
and I didn’t want to. I siep’ out. I
didn’t have no money for- somethin’ to
eat, and I was goin’ to give it to her
when I sold papers and brought some¬
thin’ home for her and dad to eat.”
“But how did you find it?”
“De copper he told- ine to git out of
de comer down at de ferry, and when
I didn’t git he fanned me, and den I
seed de t’ing shinin’ and I sneaked up
and collared it. Dat’s all. ”
And the lad smiled. So too, did the
ladv. She went up stair3, told Jennie
the story of the accidental finding, and
although she cried, the girl was happy.
She wanted to go home to tell her moth¬
er, but the lady would not have it so,
and both Jennie and the boy had their
Thanksgiving dinner at Sirs. Yander
poel’s table.
It was a happy day for more than
them. A carriage rolled away from the
door laden with goods, some of which
went to the little, home of Mugsy on
Cherry street and some to that oi Mrs.
Desmond on Dean street, Brooklyn.
Jennie’s employers were not told of
accident. Through the afternoon she
sat burnishing up the diamonds, and
they gleamed all the more brightly at
the ball in the evening from the' romance
connected with them .—New Tori Press.
Thauksgiring Week.
J i£
-
w*
J
A i
4
«•»
Tramp—“If that’s turkey an’ mines
pie yer offerin’ me, take it away. I’ve
been a livin’ on it till I’m sick. Ain’t
yer got a bit of plain, good, ole-fashioned
roast beef, rare?”
Cause for Thanksgiving.
With all of her wonderful fruits,
California lacks a cranberry worthy of
the name. A New England tourist
ordered cranberry sauce with his turkey
one Thanksgiving Day at a hotel in
Pasadena. Au odd-looking and odder
tasting dish of stewed fruit was brought
to him.
“What do you call this?” he asked
the waitress,a girl from the New Hamp¬
shire mountains.
_ _
' sir," she
“Cranberry sauce, answered,
with a fair smile of sympathy for his
evident distaste. * -
“Cranberry sauce!”Jbe echoed, indig¬
nantly, “that has no more the flavor of
q cr anberry than a peanut has of a pump
“Maybe not,” she replied, demurely, '
“feut you see it gives folks a great
kore reason to be thankful for
BUDGET OF ETO.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES JH031
VARIOUS SOURCES!;
vocation Deceit—Survival of
Sommer Suit—Better Soon —*
Papa Not in the
Trust—Etc.
Ob, he (sofcesaid) was a millionaire, &>
They talked of the wealth that each one had *
And she to«her old typewriter.
—La.wrtnex. Amerlean.
acKVivAn* of thb summer suit.
Dashaway (contemptuously)—“Are
j*w going to wear that suit Ml winter?”
Ctaverion—“No; I expect to takedt
oS nights a ”—Clothier and Furnisher.
PAPA-NOT nr THE TBTJST.
“Tom,” she murmured, “I have ifsr
feet trust in you.”
“Can’t ycu lend some to your .fAhsr
for a wbuct he queried, snxiortily.
Bazar.
A PCWRZBFUL IMPLEMENT.
Barber—‘“What are you holding on to
the chair with both hands that way for?”
Victim—“Cm afraid that razor will
pull WeeUy. me ont on the doer.”— Munm/s
better _ boon.
Mrs. Haller—“How is your*
this morning, Jane?”
Maid—“She said she was convalescent,
mum; but we hop&she’H be better,soon;,”
Yankee Blade.
A MILD SUGGESTION.
Customer—“I want to get » material
that won’t hold the dust.”
Tailor—“Then I would suggest that
you raise the dust fir.it.”— Clothier and
Furnisher.
CnmCISING THE BABT.
‘ ‘There, ” said the proud father. * ‘How
is that for a baby?"
“Ah!” said Chollie, embarrassed to
know what to say. “Jtssnificent!
How young he looks !”—New YorkSun.
ONE DRAWBACK.
Explorer—“Africa is a very malarious
country, too.”
Penelope—(anxious to appear inter¬
ested)—‘ ‘I suppose it must be. I under¬
stand it is not sewered .”—New .York
Sun.
THE HOBRID BOT.
Musical Lady—“Wouldn’t you’like*to
be able to sing and play, my little man?”
Johnny—“Naw. I wouldn’t like to
have folks say such mean things about
me as they do about you.!’— Munsey's
Weekly.
ITS DRAWBACKS.
Will—• ‘Just returned from Topmount?
How did you like the place!”
Phil—“Not at all. Its situation is too
elevated, and the air too rare."
Will—“But the accommodations?”
Phil—“They were rarer.”— Yankee
Blade.
TIME’S PRELIMINARY REAPING.
“Hair cut, mister!" said a barber to a
bald-headed man.
“No, thank you, an old shaver named
Time clipped my hair thirty years ago,
and while I was asleep he cut it so close
it never grew out again ."—DansviUe
Breeze.
FISHED FOR A COSTPLDGEKT AND GOT IT.
Alice (looking at her portrait)—
“Don’t you think that Van Brush has
managed to make rather a pretty picture
of me?”
Edith—“Yes; he really has—what a
remarkably clever artist he is!”- Hunseys
Weekly.
A VJCTIM TO THE CREDIT SfBTEM.
Beggar (to gentleman)—“Can’t dime?” you
give a poor man a
Gentleman—“Haven’t any change
now. Will be back thfs way soon.”
Beggar—“Ah, sir, it’s giving credit
to men like you that keeps me poor."—
Siftings.
IN THE PENITENTIARY ■
Visitor—“What brought you to this
place, friend?”
Convict—“Blamed foolishness.”
Visitor—No doubt, friend, no doubt.
But what kind of foolishness was it?”
Convict—“Why, the lawyer who de¬
fended me didn’t know enough to pound
Band,”— West Shore.
NOT A VEGETARIAN.
Little Boy (picking raspberries) —“I
say, ma, have sjtme raspberries got
legs?" child;
Ma—Why, of course not, foolish my
why do you ask such a ques¬
tion?”
Little Boy—“If raspberries haven’t
got any legs then I swallowed a bug,
that’s all."
EXAMPLE ONE.
Poor Inventor—“Rejoice with me,
wife, I have found a partner who takes
five thousand dollars worth of stock in
my patent non-combustible stove pipe;”
Wife— “Oh, goody, goody! When
does he pay the money?’’
Poor Inventor—..“Why, l pH
duct from hia share i f the
21om Sifliuys.
A STICKLER FOR COURAGE.
Edith—“Cora. Hatton has very sM
likes thing and she especially dislikes, abominates, and if there it i^H is«
cowardice in men, ” «
Ethel—‘*5Tes. that the only reason You know she had everybp^j for no?
says that he
marrying Willy Jackson was
didn’t have the courage to propose to
her.”-—Munwy’* Weekly.
UBI...
-Amicus—“Why are you so angry**
y °® ^
Great Poet—“Because the editor has
appended a note to it, saying that he re¬
produces it, not on account of Its merit, 1
but to show the kind of ret s man with
established reputation can get ac
.cepted.”s—l£/c.
the close of the season-.
xes'/oaf'* ^
hy, Bit Henry, I thought, of course,
*“ the time that you understood perfectly
esnch things were not considered seri¬
ously in America in the summer ” I
»wl Hear I-“? h ’ 1 am t0 infer then
that the code of honor in such matters ig
suspended in this country between Mav I
October. ”—Boston Btaam.
AS ALUEOED FACT.
It happened down at the arsenal. f
“ soldier was coming across the grass
. front
ln of the commandant’s quarters
when Sergeant H— in the walk beyond
saw him and waited for him.
He saluted the soldier sternly.
“What does this violation of roles in
quired crossing the gras3 mean, sir?” he in- "
in a harsh voice of reproof.
“I have the verbal orders of General
Gibson to do so,” responded the soldier.
The sergeant drew himself up stiffly.
“Let me see them,”he said, extending
his hand, and the soldier did not let Rim
see them for obvious reasonfS- Washing.
^
—?
- -v
LEGAL !E.
Some years ago a young man applied
to the District Court of Dallas, Texas, to
be examined to practice law. A lawyei
tions was appointed to examine the qualifica¬
of the candidate for admission tc
the bar. The young man was rather de¬
ficient in Blackstone and Greenlsaf, It
looked very much as though he lacked
the requisite preparation, and the exam¬
ining lawyer badgered him until, hii
brow was beaded with perspiration.
“Do you know what fraud is in .the
judicial sense of the word?” inquired the
“I don’t—I hardly think I do, 1 ’ W&3
•bp stammering reply.
“ fraud exists when man takes
. a
advantage of ii superior knowledge to
injure an ignorant person.”
“So, that’s it, is it? -Then if jen t.Ve
advantage of your superior knowledge of
law,to ask me questions I can’t answer,
owing to my ignorance, and in conse¬
quence thereby I am refused a license, I
will be injured, and you will be found
guilty of fraud. Won’t you, judge?”
The lawyer was very thoughtful for a
few moments, and then added reflec¬
tively: “My young friend, I perceive
you have great natural-qualifications for
the bar, and I shall recommend that a
large, handsomely engrossed, and richly
engraved license be granted yon in spite
of ignorance.”— '
your Texas Siftings.
CHILDERS GIVES ADVICE.
“You look Worried, my dear,” sfid
Childers, when he came home from the
office the other day. “What is the mat¬
ter?”
“The children have been very tire¬
some to-day,” replied Mrs. Childers,
wearily. “It seemed as if« they would
make me distracted.”
“Don’t let ’em!” said Childers, with
considerable energy. . “Don’t let ’em
ride over you. Just—Willie, don’t talk
when papa's talking—just deal with them
gently but firm—Did you hear me, Willie?
—firmly, and you’ll get along all—
Silence, Willie, thti instant!—all right.
As for letting ’em worry—Don’t pull on
my pockets, Dick—letting ’em worry—
Dick! don’t pull on. my pockets, I said
—worry—Will you take your hands out
or not? Now keep them out. You've
broken a couple of cigars for me now,
you—What’s Willie making such a
racket about, Annie? Great Scott! he’s
got my silk hat. Take it—hang it up
high. Now, Dick, if you cry you’ll have
—Great Csesar! they've both commenced.
It does seem, Annie, ’s if the minute I
come into the house—I can’t talk!—I
can’t think. Won’t you take ’em off to
bed? My gracious! I’ll bet if I was
home I’d—”
But as the boys clattered away op the
stairs-with their tired mamma, Childers
sat down and gazed gloomily into space,
without saying just exactly what he would
do if he was home.— Puck.
a double hit.
There was a great big duffer of a fel¬
low walking around on the platform of
the depot at Paterson, evidently aching
fa* a row of some sort, when somebody
called out after a Mr. Goodhue. The'
sized owner of the with name big proved umbrella to be under a small- hie
man, 8
arm,, and here was opening for the duffer.’
He walked up and asked:
“Is your name Goodenough?" Goodhue.”
“No, sir; my name is
“Good—good—what? Please re-’
peat?” “Goodhue, air."
“Spell it with a J?”
“No, sir.”
1 ‘Maybe yon don’t spell it at ail?” i
“I don't unless I want to." seet^fl
“Ob. you don’t? Let’s
it? 1 ntrev was much nt'juA
names, k t name is
it?” sJmmM
“Goodhue, ti
“Pleasaj^H
toi