Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

Forest and Stream. BY ISAAC M’LELLAN. On the fair face of Nature let us muse. And dream by lapsing stream and drooping wood; Tread the dark forests whose primeval ranks Since the creation dawn have cast their shade; Ponder by flowing stream and ocean tides, And note the varied forms of life they hold, Mark the wild game so dear to hunter’s heart, The swarming fowl that skim the salty deeps, The birds that haunt the woodlands and the plains The fish that swim the seas, the lakes, the streams And tempt the thoughtful angler to their marge; Glance at the life that fills our native woods, And game of Asian plains, and Afric wilds. When soft May breezes fan the early woods, And with her magic wand the blue-ey’d Spring Quickens the swelling blossoms and the bud-", Then forth the russet partridge leads her brood, While on the fallen tree-trunk drums her mate; The quail her young in tangled thicket hides, The dun deer with their fawns the forests range, The wild geese platoons hasten far in air, The wild ducks from the Southern lagoons pass, And soaring high their Northward journeys take, The dusky coot along the coast-line sweeps, The piping snipe and plover that frequent The sandy bars and beaches, wing their flight, And all the grassy prairies of the West Teem with the speckled younglings of the grouse, And all the budding forests and the streams Are gay with beauty, joyous with young life. Then swell the first bird melodies ; the wren Chirrups and perches on the garden rail, The blue-bird twitters on the lilac hedge, Or flits on azure wings from tree to tree ; The golden robin on the apple-bough Hovers, where last year’s withered nest had been, The darting swallows circle o’er the roof, The woodpeckers on trunk of gnarled trees Tap their quick drum-beats with their horny beaks The crow caws hoarsely from the blasted pine, High in mid air the sailing hawk is pois’d, While from the grove the purple pigeon-flocks Burst with loud flapping in the grain-sown fields. Fair is the scene in autumn, when the frosts From palettes rich, with prodigal gorgeous brush Color the nodding groves with brown and ged 1. Then silvery-skied. and purple-haz’d the dome Os heaven’s deep vault, and fair the earth below. Far up, where sunny uplands scope their sides, Shaggy with woods, prone to the brimming stream Where bowering beech trees shake laden boughs, And oaks their varnished acorns high uplift, Where the broad butter-nut its gummy fruit In russet husks slow ripens day by day, And where in crowded ranks the chestnut groves Wave out their broad-leaved pennons to the air. And from their prickly burs shake treasures down, There the quickchatterings of the squirrels sound The gentle valley with its belt of bills Crown’d to their tops with grand, primeval woods, Glows with all forms and hues that nature loves, Deep in its hollow stretch meadows brightly green Kept verdurous by the full o’erflowing stream ; Yet the deep swamps and thickets that engird The river-reaches, arc resplendent all, Their umbrage tinctured with imperial dyes, The maples tall with blood-red foliage burn, The hickories clap their palms of burnished gold, The poplar thrusts its yellow spire in air, The russet oaks and purple dogwoods blend Their colors with the alder’s sable green, And scarlet suinacks ; all contrasted rich With sombre evergreens, and willows pale. And when the winds autumnal, wailing strip The frosted foliage, like a host they stand, With trailing banners and with drooping plumes. Such be the scenes in wondrous forest-land Such be the scenes by sea and lake and stream That wo would picture; wild romantic scenes, Dear to the hunter’s and to the angler’s soul. II OVIK INFLUENCE. How few homes are governed by proper in fluences; in how many do misrule and dissen sion exist, feeding and developing by their un happy emanations the worst passions and mis eries of those who live among them ! The error and short-sightedness of so many fathers ami mothers who have children growing up around them is a sad fact to chronicle, but is neverth less true; ami while nearly every parent theore tically subscribes to the doctrine that “there’s no place like home,” too many of them stulti fy themselves by making home far from being the pleasantest place on earth, especially for children. The responsibility of fathers and mothers in this regard is very groat, and it shouldbe their endeavor to make home a synonym for “happiness.” One of the greatest charins that a home can extend to children, particularly boys, is the charm of individual freedom. The coldness and inelasticity which characterize so many of our homes is a prolific and leading cause that sends a large number of boys and girls to early ruin and destruction. Let the place where children mold their na tures and develop their characters, which will, to a great extent, determine their future useful ness, or worthlessness, be indeed the dearest place in the world Let the children romp and play in the house. If John conies rushing in full of joy to tell you how he won the first prize at school, ami in his haste lias forgotten to wipe his muddy feet, don't lift the hair oil his head, as he would express it, or dash all the gladness out of his soul, with a sharp or un kind rebuke. If Willie loves to sit by the hearthstone and whittle out crude statues or construct rude wagons or steamless locomotives let him do it. Even direct his unskillful ef forts, ami you will not only do good by keep ing him from idleness and mischief, but be more than repaid when you hear him tell his less-favored comrades what a “bully father and mother he has got,” which slangly and boyish style of expression will in later years be ex changed for words of graceful praise uttered in tenderness and love. If Hattie will forget and drop the ehippings on the floor from the paper dolls she is making, or tip the paste over on the best table-spread. kindly help repair damages. In fact, make home the palace of freedom for them. They will be good and neat and quiet, if you allow the natural impulses of their na ture to flow out unrestrained. All that is needed is to direct them in the proper channel. A little mud on the carpets, a heedless hullaba loo when you have a distractin' headache, is better than learning to smoke, chew, swear, and drink with boys less fortunate in their home influences than they are. or w ith disreputable gamings in the streets And as they approach toward manhood and womanhood give them further liberty and confidence. Do not bring vices into young homes, but gons far as morali ty will admit in furnishing tho-e amusements so enticing to growing children, and which so often lead them from the paths of rectitude Land virtue ; make home “a thing of K autx ami THE GEORGIA GRANGE. a joy forever.” And the richest, legacy you can leave is the dear and ever fragrant recollection of that enchanted spot which gave them the strength and will to make ther own way in the work), blessed with a tenderness of heart and purity of conduct which a pleasant home has secured. Then, when you are gone, grateful hearts will ever bless your memories and your children cherish and exercise in their own families the home influences that to a great ex tent made them good men and women. — JKas/i --ington (D. CL) Chronicle. Death and Immortality. “The fiat of nature- is inexorable. There is no appeal for relief from the great law which dooms us to dust. We flourish and fade as the leaves of the forest, and flowers that bloom and wither in a day, have no frailer hold upon life than the mightiest monarch that ever shook the earth with his footsteps. Generations of men will appear and disappear as the grass, and the multitude that throng the world to-day, will disappear as the footsteps on the shore. Men seldom think of the great event of death until the shadow falls across their own pathway, hiding from their eyes the faces of loved ones whose living smile was the sunlight of their existence. Death is the an tagonist of life, and the cold thought of the tomb is this skeleton of all feasts. We do not want to go through the dark valley, although its dark passage may lead to paradise; we do not want to lie down in the damp grave, even with princes for bed-fellows. In the beautiful drama of lon, the hope of Immortality, so eloquently uttered by the death-devoted Greek, finds deep response in every thoughtful soul. When about to yield his young existence as a sacrifice to fate, his Cle mantha asks if they should meet again, to which he replies: ‘I have asked that dreadful question of the hills that look eternal—of the clear streams that flow forever—of the stars among whose fields of azure my raised spirit has walked in glory. All were dumb ; but as I gaze upon thy living face, I feel that there is some thing in the love that mantles through its beau ty that cannot wholly perish. We shall meet again, Clemantha.’ ” —Ger. D. Prentice. I.ilc’s Twilight. The evening of every man’s life is coming on apace. The day of life will soon be spent. The sun, though it may be up in mid-heaven will pass swiftly down the western sky andjdisappear. What shall light, up man’s pathway when the sun of iife has gone down? He must travel on to the next world ; but what shall illumine his footsteps af ter the nightfall of death, amid the darkness of his journey? What question more solemn, for each reader of our journal to ask himself ? That is a long journey to travel without a guide and without a friend. Yet, every one must perform it. The time is not far distant when all will be gin the journey. There is an evening star in the natural world. Its radiance is bright and cheer ing to the benighted traveler. But life’s evening star is in good hope of heaven. Its beauty and brilliancy is reflected from the sun of righteous ness, whoso bright rays light up the evening of life and throw their radiance quite across the darkness of the grave into Immanuel’s happy land. It has illuminated the weary footsteps of many a traveler into eternity. It is of priceless value. A thousand words cannot purchase it, and yet it. is offered without price to him who will penitently and thankfully receive it. Silent Influence.—We are touching our fel low beings on all sides. They are affected by good or evil by what we are, by what we say and do, even by what we think and feel. May flowers in the parlor breathe their fragrance through the atmosphere. We arc each of us as silently satur ating the atmosphere about us with the subtle aroma of our character. In the family circle, besides and beyond all the teachings, the daily life of each parent and each child mysteriously modifies the life of every person in the household. The same process on a wider scale is going on through the community. No man liveth to him self and no man dieth to himself. Others are built up and straightened by our unconscious deeds ; ami others may be wrenched out of (heir places and thrown down by our unconscious in fluence. colorbs of colisbont. It is the weakness of some good men to speak of man as miserable rather than guilty. Indeed it becomes one who has obtained mercy to pity rather than condemn. Yet compassion should be mixed with a holy in dignation; for we may Indulge a tenderness lo offenders til! we lose sight of the abomina tion of sin. We conuneiid to the consideration of min isters who aie given to preaching long ser mons, the anecdote of the little boy who kept awake in church as long as he could, but finally went to sleep, had his nap, waked up to find the minister still preaching, and innocently whispered: “ Mother is it this Sunday night or is it next Sunday night?” Dk. Todd’s last message to his church, sent on a Sabbath evening, contained this passage: "Tell them that 1 have unwavering faith in Christ and His salvation, and that I am waiting and hoping for light from the eternal world. I want to see that light, and think I shall. ‘Though 1 walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 1 will fear no evil,’ And so I stand at the gate like a little child, waiting for it to open to give me a glimpse of the glory.” -*■—•—-• TAI MADE says: You see a man from the most infamous surroundings step into the kingdom of God, He has heard no sermon. He has received no startling providential warning. What brought him to this new mind? This is the secret; God. looked over the bottle in which he gaihcrs the tears of his people, and saw a paren al tear in that bottle which had been for forty years unan swered. He said, “Go to now; and kt me answer that tear! ’ and forthwith the wan derer is brought home to God. 1 he natural and healthy condition of man is one in wlnch he woi ks forw hat he receives. I'hose who contribute nothing to the genera! stock ought to take nothing from it. The ac cumulation of capital in private handsis cre ating. in continually enlarging numbers, a class ot prisons who have abundant means to spend on themselves, while they have nothing to do in return. A man makes a fortune, as it is called; be leaves it to his children, who find themselves to have inherited the services of an army of genii, potent as those of Alad din’s lamp, lo minister to their pleasures. Fools spend their share on indulgence. In dulgence is usually synonymous with vice; and as long as their purses hold out they do mischief to every one who comes near them. This kind of thing, happily, does Lot often last long. The money is soon gone, and there is an end of it. But the majority have sense enough to avoid ruining themselves by extravagance. They live on their incomes, ladies especially, and, having Jtheir time to themselves, and being spared the necessity of exertion, are considered as exceptionally happy—yet happy they cannot be. Satisfac tion of mind is allotted by Providence only to industry; and not being obliged to be in dustrious they lose the capacity for it. En joyments pall on them. Having allowed the period of life to pass unused when occupa tions can be successfully learned, they are unable to take their places afterward on the beaten road of life. They stray into fancy employments; they become dabblers in pol tics, dabblers in art, dabblers in literature and science. Nothing succeeds with them sufficiently to put them on good terms with themselves, and then, men and women alike, and particularly the better sort of them, be ing without wholesome occupations, and craving for something which will satisfy the demands which their minds are making on them, they fly to the opiates and anodynes of the quack doctors of the spiritual world.— James Anthony Fronde. Noct ii s-iie. Pale Twilight in her gown of gray Comes swiftly down the western way, With Moonshine hastening after ; And here among the woodland damps She lights her pretty fire-fly lamps, And stills the wild wind’s laughter. The lilies and the mignonette Within the garden border set Lift all their leaves to greet her. With dewy kiss she doth reqnite Their tenderness, and with delight They straightway grow the sweeter. The swallows from the ivied eaves Fly in and out among the leaves In household ministrations; Their downy badies in the nest, Chirp softly as they go to rest, And dream of future rations. The brook in trilling monotone Hath sleepy welcomes of its own ; The delicate cedar quiver. But all the meadow sounds are still, The flecks are folded on the hlil, Beyond the placid river. Sweet Twilight, as thou com’st to thee With healing dew and soothing breeze, So come thou unto me. Bring gentle dreams and quiet rest; Weave, weave thy spell, O shadowy guest, In still benignity! *—• Female Society.—What is it that makes all men who associate habitually with women superior to those who do not ? What makes the women who are accustomed to act at ease in the society of men superior to their sex in general? Solely because they are in the habit of free, graceful continued conversation with the other sex. Women in this way lose their frivolity, their faculties awaken, their del icacies and peculiarities unfold in all their beauty and captivation in the spirit of rivalry ; and the men lose their pedantic, rude, declama tory and sullen manner. The coin of tile under standing and the heart changes continually Their asperities are rubbed off, their natures polished and brightened, and their richness, like gold, is wrought into finer workmanship by the fingers of women than it could ever be done by those of men. The highest mountain on the North Ameri can continent is Mount St. Elias, in Alaska, whose elevation is 17,900 feet. Next to it comes the volcano of Popocatcpel, in Mexico, 17,884 feet, and Orizaba, also in Mexico, 17,373 feS- If the newly discovered peak of the Holy Cross, in the Yellow Stone region, found by the Hayden exploring party, be really 17,000 feet high, as they estimate, it will be the fourth |>eak in elevation on the continent of North America, and the highest mountain in the United States, excluding Alaska. Heretofore the highest peak in this country was suppos.d to Ih’ Big Horn Mountain, which is elevated 15,090 feet. In a town in Bavaria there was a little tum ble-down church building, where the duke, as often as he came that way, used to go in and pray. If, on coming out of the chapel, he happened to meet any of the peasants in the field, he loved to converse with them in a friendly way. One day he met an old man, with whom he fell into conversation on various things; and, taking a liking to the man, he asked him, in parting, whether he could do anything for him. The peasant replied, “ Noble sir. you cannot do anything better for me than volt have done already.” “How *x>?” answered he. “I do not know that I have done anything for you.” “ But I know it,” said the old man; “for how can I ever forget that you have saved my son? He traveled so long in the ways of sin, that for a long time he would have nothing to do with the church or prayer; and he sank every day deeper in wickedness. Some time ago he was here, and -aw you, noble sir, enter the chapel. •I should like to <ee what lie does there.’ said the young man, scornfully, to himself, and he glided in after you. But when he saw you pray so devoutly, he was deeply impressed that he als ■ began t pray; and from that moment he became a new m tn. I thank you for it. And that is why 1 said you can never do me a greater favor than you have done me already. ’• From the German. ♦ -• Music by Handle—A street organ. Autumn. Over the beautiful valleys low, And over the hill-tops, fair and green, A fruitful matron, I come and go, More gracious still than summer’s queen; For I scatter my bounties far and near In the emerald lap of the waiting year. The fragrant breath of the orchard blooms. The zephyrs carried away in glee ; In the yielding grass, the ripened fruit Now lies in its beauty ’neath the tree; And from rosy cheek to the seed’s white cup Is a hint of the sunshine treasured up. With my dainty touch and fairy brush I drape the forests -with my magic skill; I kiss the leaves, and an answering blush Through all their quivering pulses thrill. As the wasted love of a maiden shy, They flutter at last to my feet and die. All the day long, in the corner there, The feathery, golden rods nod and smile ; The broken thistle-cup yields its down, Caught up by each passing breeze the while, And carried along in its airy flight, Towards the purp’ling west and the autumn night. Through the fleeting hours the morns are filled With the catbirds calling, one by one ; In the balmy air and mellow light, The corn is goldening in the sun. And I hide my flight with a veil of haze And the low, sweet sounds of the ember days. There is no gentleness in the world like that which is manifested by power. To see astrong, giant-built man meet in the way a little child, and raise it up, and say to it, “bless, you, my darling;” to see his great, coarse hands, and his arms that are like bears paws, go down, and accompanying the act with some sweet words, lift the child to his bosom —that is a most beautiful sight. There never was a breastpin in a man’s bosom to be compared with a sweet little child. To see a slender, pale-faced woman and mother take up a child is beautiful; wc expect that; but to see a great brawny man take up a child, with tenderness and gentleness, is beautiful indeed. Every body marvels at that. “A little child shall lead them.” Nothing is so sweet as the softness and gen tleness of power. A man that has a gigantic intellect; a man that can control battalions and armies in the field ; a man that has courage, and will, and determination ; a man that has a lordly pride, and knows his strength, and moves among men with power —such a man, who is subdued by the influence of the dear spirit of God, and who has such sweet and gen tleness that he treats all men with lenity, and kindness, and forbearance, and patience, has what is here meant by gentleness.—lT. W. Beecher. The appetite for strong drink in men has spoiled the life of more women —ruined more hopes for them, scattered more fortunes for them, brought to them more sorrow, shame and hardship—than any other evil that lives. The country numbers ten, nay, hundreds of thou sands of women who are widows to-day, and sit in hopeless weeds, because their husbands have been slain by strong drink. There are hun dreds of thousands of homes scattered over the land in which women live lives of torture, go rung tflSwigh the changes of suffering that lie between the extremes of fear and despair, be cause those whom they love, love wine better than they do the women they have sworn to love. There are women by thousands who dread to hear at the door the step that once filled them with pleasure, because that step has learned to reel under the influence of the seductive poison. There are women groaning with pain while we write these words, from bruises and brutalities inflicted by husbands made by drink. There can be no exaggeration in any state ment in regard to the matter ; because no hu man imagination can create anything worse than the truth, and no pen is capable of por traying the truth. The sorrows and horrors of a wife with a drunken husband are as near the realization of hell as can be reached in this world at least. The shame, the indignation, the sorrow, and the sense of disgrace for herself and children, the poverty, and not unfrequently the beggary, the fear and the fact of violence ; the lingering, lifelong struggle and despair of countless wo men with drunken husbands, are enough to make all women curse wine, and engage uni tedly to oppose it everywhere as the worst ene my of their sex. — Dr. Holland. • ► « The natives of certain secluded Aleutian isles retain a tradition concerning the origin of the latter which if already published, is worthy of repetition together with the embellishment naturally accruring after the laps of a year or two. It is asserted that, in the primeval days, when the waters of the north Pacific surround ed not a single isle among the vast ranges of the interior continent, a mighty giant lived. Dwelling in harmony with a giant bride, each morning he ascended the mountains from which the summits were plucked for their daily food. Lakelets formed their evening drink. At peace with all the outside world, they reigned whilst ages went their course. But finally a change occurred and discord entered the mountain home. Whilst absent on a distant summit, the giant felt the mountain quake beneath his feet ami, casting upon his wife the fault of all the earthquake uproar, hastened down with a frown of vengeance in all his mien. The giantess, perceiving this, and fearing for herself, ran leaping into Bearing sea, and toward the dis tant Asiatic shore. He, collecting mountains, followed the frightened spouse, hurling them after her with all his strength. For a time, not one ot these did harm, and midway in the sea the stoek-on-hand grew small; so throwing out. now and then, he hastened on. Approach ing the Kamschatka shore and summoning all his remaining strength, he sent the last one whirling through the air and beneath it sank tin luckless wife. Exhausted by exertion, de spair and rage, the giant, also, no longer held himself against the waves, but sank into the sea, aoove which, till this dav, apjtvar the summit ot all th «■ sunken Alaskan mountains known as the Aleutian isles. From the gradu al decreasing numbers of the latter on ap proach to the Asiatic coast, can we doubt the truth of a legendary talc that accounts so plausi bly for the singular “melting away” or comet like extension of the Aleutian chain?— Ex. A funny incident is related of M’lle Valen tine, a Paris actress. Not long ago she received an application for work from a young seam stress. Being busy at the time she merely put her head out of the door, requesting the girl to’ call in the evening. On arriving at the ap pointed hour, the seamstress was shown into the presence of an apparently young and most su perbly dressed woman, who rose to receive her. “Excuse me,” said the visitor, “I saw your grandmother this morning, and she promised me work.” A loud shriek from the actress proclaimed the mistake made, but said mistake proved the efficacy of paint and polish, and so the lady was forced to acknowledge. The youthful mind is observant and inquir ing, but it lacks experience. Young Tomp kins borrowed a gun to go sparrow shooting, and, not understanding the breech-loading sys tem, began to ram the cartridge. He has since frequently observed how lucky it was that in an idle hour he learned to write with his left hand. When a woman puts three mackerel to soak over night in a dish pan whose sides are eight inches high, and leaves the pan on a stairway, she has accomplished her mission and should go hence. This was what a Division street woman did Friday night. Filled the pan at the pump, and then left it standing on the steps to the stoop, while she went into the next house to see how many buttons would be re-, quired to go down the front of the redingote. And a mighty important affair that was, to be sure. And there was her husband tearing through the house in seach of a handkerchief, and not finding it, of course. And then he rushed out into the’yard, wondering where on earth that woman could be, and started down the steps without seeing the pan, or even dreaming that any one could be so idiotic as to leave it there. Os course he stepped on it; or, at least, that is the supposition, as the neighbors who were brought out by the crash that follow ed saw a horrified man, and a high dish pan, and three very demoralized mackerel shooting across the garden, and smashing down the shrubbery. And he was a nice sight, was that unhappy man, when they got him on his feet. There wasn’t a dry thread on him, and his hair was full of bits of mackerel, and one of his shoulders was out of joint, and his coat was split the whole length of the back, and he ap peared to be out of his head. He was carried in the house by some of the men, and laid on a bed, while others went after a doctor, and six teen women assembled in the inscrutable ways of Providence, and what a warning this was to people who never looked where they were going. That boy of Coville’s has been in trouble again. He was playing in Mrs. Coney’s yard, next door, right after dinner, Thursday. He had Mrs. Coney’s dog harnessed to a wash boiler and was driving up and down cobble walk, when that lady came out with a finger in each ear, and told him he must clear out, as she expected company at two o’clock, and his noise was altogether too much for the occasion. His obedience was more prompt than she had any reason to expect or even desire. In fact, he left at once, first giving the boiler a kick that nearly decapitated the dog at both ends. Mrs. Coney was obliged to unhitch the dog herself, which she did after catching him. It appears that the bell at Mrs. Coney’s doOr is somewhat stiff in the spring, and rather diffi cult to sound. The fact was well-known to young Coville, and while Mrs. Coney was chasing the dog, the youthful miscreant stole in the house, and with the help of a file fixed that door bell so it would pull easy. At 2 o’clock promptly, the pastor of Mrs. Coney’s church came up on the stoop of Mrs. Coney’s house, and being aware that the bell-pull required con siderable muscle, gave it a sharp twitch, and immediately left the stoop head first, with the bell-knob clutched in his hand, and six feet of wire swinging around him. In the descent he split his coat the whole length of the back, broke down the gate, completely ruined his hat and seriously bruised both elbows. Mrs. Coney, who was looking through the blinds all the time, was very much shocked by the acci dent, but promptly led the gentleman into the house, and as promptly dressed his wounds. An examination of the bell revealed that it had been trifled with, and as Mrs. Coney was quite confident Coville’s boy had done it, she report ed to Mrs. Coville that she autually heard him say the other day that he would “fix that bell.” The fall term of school commenced yesterday, but Coville’s boy was not there. — Danbury New*. fctrssamer. Why is a young lady like a hinge ? because she is something to a-dore. “So dark and yet so light,” as the man said when he looked at his last ton of coal. If a toper and a quart of whiskey were left together, which would be drunk first? Mrs. Partington thinks that the grocers ought to have a music-teacher, to teach them the scales correctly. A Beloit editor takes it upon himself to say that “cows, elephants or rhinoceroses may run gracefully, but women never.” Spicer says, although farmers often make, good cider,whenever they tap a barrel they arc sure to “spile” it. Bald-headed men take a joke more easily, becau-e they are not at the trouble of getting it through the hair." “If George had not biowed into the muzzle of his gun,” sighed a rural widow at the funeral of her late husband last Saturday,“he might have got plenty of squirrels, it was such a good day for them.” A man’s dearest object should be his wife ; but sometimes it is his wife’s wardrobe. John Smith says nobody ever paid him any attention until he broke out of jail, and then he was much sought after. Very few horses eat corned beef, but we saw one standing the other day before a store with a bit in his mouth. A New York chemist says he can reduce boot legs to beefsteak. Some Western landlords have had ten years the start of him. Siam is an ungallant country. There the first wife may by divorced, and after that every wife may be sold for cash or for a yellow dog. A facetious young lady wickedly remarks that the reason that the peculiar equipag s seen at watering-places are called dog-carts is that pnppies always ride. If success in an undertaking was proportion ed to the earnestness brought to bear upon it, a hen could run about eigteen hundred miles a day. An Irish paper concludes a biography of Robespierre with the followingsentence : “This extraordinary man left no children except his brother, who was killed a' the same time.” Mrs. Minnie Myrtle Miller discoursed in Placerville, Cal., last week, on “Silent Wo men.” We can’t imagine where she gathered material for the lecture, unless it was in the cemetery. A Green Bay man called a young lady his “precious, darling little honey-dew of a bloom ing rosebud,” and then stood a breach-of promise suit before he would marry her. A Washington inventor is at work on a mo del for a dog that can run along the top of a fence. He expects to wreak destruction on the cats, and become wealthier than the Roths childs. The woman who said the latest thing out was her husband, and was answered by her neighbor, who remarked that her husband al ways came home early—before any one was up. A young man at Niagara, having been cross ed in love,walked out to the precipice, took off his clothes, gave one lingering look at the gulf beneath him, and then went home. His body was found next morning in bed. An Arkansas farmer was absent-minded enough to leave his pet panther and mother-in law at home together while he went to a show, but much to his anger and amazement, the old lady was alive and the panther dead on his re turn. A Louisville man has a sun-flower fourteen feet high, three boils on his leg, and a cold in his head, but yet he says that there’s nothing in this world worth living for. Peoria has very human dogs or the newspa pers are not to be believed. One has died of delirium tremens, two of small-pox, one’ot cprebro-spinal, etc., and one has committed sui cide. A boy at the Soldiers’ Orphans’ Home, at Normal, 111., saw some men carrying a section of sidewalk. He slipped underneath and walked along until the men suddenly dropped it, when he was “smashed.” “Jury,” said a Western judge, “you kin go out and find a verdict. If you can’t find one of your own, get the one the last jury used.” The jury returned with a verdict qf suicide in the ninth degree. An Illinois editor who was enjoying himself at San Francisco when Horace F. Clark stop ped issuing passes over the U. P. R. R , writes so his wife he is walking home for his liver’s take, and will arrive in the fall or early spring. We knew the fool would turn up somewhere who would put his postal card in a stamped envelope and mail it that way. Covington, Kentucky, is responsible for him, and he thinks , the cards are a great convenience. A pleasant little reunion was quite upset re- ! cently by one of the children asking, in a pain- ; fully audible tone, “Mamma, why did you tell me not to say anything about Mr. Jenkin’s nose? He hasn’t got any.” There was a certain darkey who owned a pig and one day he gave him a bucket of mush, j Said the darkey: “He eats the whole bucketful of mush, and den I put de darn little cuss in de bucket and he didn’t fill it up half full. The question for philosophers to settle is, what be came of the mush ? “Fred,” said a young man, walking up Cort landt street the other day, after listening to his wonderful story, “do you know why you are like a harp struck by lightning?” “No,” says Fred ; “I give it up.” “Because a harp struck by lightning is a blasted lyre.” Beware of a dog that exhibits any symptoms of hydrophobia. If you are in doubt as to the condition of the animal, the safest plan is to let him bite your mother-in-law, and then watch the result. A Cleveland copper speculator fell asleep in church, from which he was awakened by the pastor’s reading, “Surely there is a vein for sil ver and a place for good, where they find it.” Jumping to his feet he shook his book at the minister, crying, “I’ll take five hundred shares.” A noted horse-jockey “down East,” was awakened one night by a violent thunder-storm. Being somewhat timid, he awoke Lis wife, “Wife I wife I do you suppose the Day of Judg ment is coming ?” “Shut up, you fool I” was the affectionate reply: “how can the Day of Judgment come in the night?” ■ An illiterate personage, who always volun teered to go round with the hat, but was bus- ‘ pected of sparing his own pocket, overhearing \ one day, a hint to that effect, made the follow ing speech : “Other gentlemen put down what they think proper, and so do I. Charity’s a private concern, and what I give is nothing to nobodv. 3