Newspaper Page Text
UNGER I NG.”
Soldier* Who Feigned Sick
ne»i loGol Out of thn Army.
A Surgeon** Acoonnt of an Ait tn pt Tint
wax Not BascaufuL
A of thn Tenth” nays in tl*r
Detroit I'rr-r Pr'u: It w«« »iippo<- 1 that
bow and th n a volunteer would b coma
•o disgusted with ntmy life, nnd «o hom -
■lg l . to • hi* friend*, thathu woo d take
all n»k« of peril and degradation and
desert his colors, lait few people bare
Iwvn mode aware of tho great amount of
malingering in the nervier! from IMO J to
tho di»« of tho war. Th ru w> re mon
who were too proud or too cowardly to
deiu-rt, and yet who were determin' 1 to
get out of th army. The only way open
to them wa» to »ffc t nomn ailment, nnd
of course I was sooner or later brought in
to close contact with them. The first five
■ion discharged from my regiurnt for dis
ability recovered so speedily after secur
ing thnir discharge.* that 1 b cam ■ a butt
•f ridicule. Indec I, two of them re
mained about c imp and plied their pro
fessions as gamblers, ami made no secret
that they b id fooled nt".
On" of my toughest cases was that of a
private soldier named French. 110 had
served from June, 1801, to April, 1802,
and was well spoken of by his officers.
He was a tidy man, enthusiastic in the
line of duty, and had been selected for
promotion. Ono day he attended sick
call, captaining that Im had not been
feeling well for throe or f< or days past.
He had tho general look of a man un ler
a shght fever. I gave him some med -
cine nnd told him he would lie all right
in a day or two, but next morning w .rd
came to mo that he was ill in his tent. 1
went over to wo him and found liis fever
increased and bis npp< lite one. 1 wos
sur|«rised that Lite powders bad not
checked th- fever, but pie c ilm I others
and decide I not t > hav him reni n - I to
the hospital fora day or two. lie had
no complaint to make, mid this was
jpeatl.’ in his fnvor. Next dny the fever
was a little w >r<«- th in before, mid the
nmn began to look pretty li .■ ■ ml. 1
ordered bis removal to the i gimental
hospital, and wt myself about in u vigor
ous manner to break the fever, which
was dearly intermittent. A week from
the day be w as taken sick 1 had made no
progress, nnd was ulmiiiL to order bis r
nioval to tho hospital nt A exandrm when
I received a pointer. Ono of the
nurses reported to mo that she had u ci
dentally observed French slyly wasting
his medicine*. 1 could hardly credit it in
a in in like him, but decided to set n
watch on his movements. In 24 hour- I
was assured of several things. He wan,
in the first place, eating only enough to
barely sustain himself, although I could
find no reason why he should not be hun
gry when his fever was oil. He was
delilM-ratcly wasting my medicines in
stead of swallowing them, an I about once
in six ho.its he xvas forcing himself to
■wallow Homething which was terribly
disagreeable to him. During my next
call he asked to bo s. nt to Alexandria,
sud I said nothing to leal him to suspect
that I ha<l any doubts of his being a lit
|>a'icnt for tho hospital. 1 wanted to
watch him a little longer. 1 left a new
■upply of miHiicine, which was so fixed
that hi could t ike it himself. While he
claimed to be very w cak, he w- is still able
to move about and dross and undress
Lima If. I) ring the day he made a pre
tense of taking tho medicine, an I during
the night he poured most of tho contents
of the tumbler on the round.
The next morning I gave orders to
have him thoroughly searched, and the
result justified our suspicious. The man
waa maliugi ring, lb- had made himself
Up a lot of pill- composed of government
ao-p and rancid fat from government
pork, and was taking one about every
four hours More than that, he was
■wallowing the juice of plug tobacco in
■utllcient quantity to sicken n horse, and
not one drop of mv medicine was pa-sing
hi* lips. Wo had such a pl.in case on
him that he could not deny it, nor did ho
attempt to. 1 left new nv dicinc with
him and gave him thre? days to get well,
and before the time was up he had re
turned to duty. 1 made no report of his
ease to hi* captain, not wish ng to de
grads' or disgrace him, but in tho course
of a Couple of week* In- tired a bullet in
to my tent one night, kn . king the cap
off my head, an 1 then mad. a break t>
run the guard and de-ert. lie was fired
up n by two nt ■:>, and both their bullets
infl eted mortal w.m i la
h -pair Turned to l.xuila ion.
A life insurance policy may iot cover
a mu ntude of sins, but it seem* to con
done some minor one's in a widow's
eyes, loc-irtling to the Chicago I'rifvu:
“A young widow in Waukesha, whose
husband had been dead for a month,and
whom si had alw ys supp sed to b<
free from miall vices, wa* overhauling
bis clothe* the other dny. She found a
large plug of t. linxsi in a co.it pocket.
“Oh. George! Ge !’ die exclaimed
despairingly, “you and I si never meet
in the good world!" In another pocket
■he found a life roitrw po. ,y or $5
000, of which she hnl before known
nothing, and she bur*: forth exultantly;
••Oh, yes, we will! we will! H tven
will forgive him his one little fault!*’
Baath** W •ap’ina-
I saw the other day, »ay» a w riter ia
the Washington Herald, two of the most
curious and interesting relic* of the
greatest tragedy in American history. j
They are the pistol with which John
Wilke* Booth sltot President Lincoln
and the dagger ho held in bis band when
ho leaped from the box to the stage of
the theatre, crying “Sic semper tyrannis.”
These relies are preserved in a bureau of
one of the great d'-partmi nt* of the gov
ernment, Mi l with them is the bullet
that struck Mr. Lincoln down. Tire pis
tol is the most interesting of tho lot. It
is one of tho kind known as tho derrin
ger, made iu Philadelphia, which wax ,
very famous all through the South and
Southwest thirty years ago. The one ;
in question is of beautiful workmanship. I
Its barrel is only two inches in length, j
and the bullet weighs about a quarter of
an ounce. Tho entire length of the ,
woa|>on is but four inches. Its mount
ing is of ilyer, and the lock is one of
tho finest and most perfect pieces of |
workmanship T have ever seen, oven in i
these weapons, which lire very expensive
and elaborate. Tho bullet is much bat- 1
tend, and was evidently driven iato tho
niiirz. <■ (forth - pitol is a muzzle-loader)
by the use of a m ill t and iron loading
rod. Considering the heavy charge of •
powder un b-r tho bullet before it w’as |
fired, the latter mu-t have b - n only half ,
an inch from the muzz, e, and could easi
ly have been touched with one’s little
finger inserted into the barrel. The
m irk* of the rifling in tho barrel are j
clearly vis.bio on the bullet, which was ;
very much fl itt--tied from striking the .
skull. Altogether, a more interesting
and ghastly curio I have never seen.
While han Ilin/ the pistol I looked at
the end of the breech’. I found there a
reccp aclo for pereu sion - caps, which
hud evidently been ov. rlookcd, and on
openin'; it I found a solitary cap, which
Booth had evidently put there him-e f,
intending, if by any chance the one on :
the tube, of th pi 10l exploded without
firing it, to le v i lotb.er ready to hh
hand.
Scene nt nu Ape’s Doatti-B -d.
In his r cently publishe 1 treatise or,
the nnthri.p >id apes, Prof. Hartmann ol
ttie Berlin I .liver, ty tells n touching
story of a large m oikcy which belonged 1
to tin- Zoological (’.miens of Dresden. -
M -ifitca, .is she was named by Herr
S. hops, the Director of tin- gar lens, war
a pcmonngi) of polite manners. Site 1
would blow her nose with a haudker
chief, put on her own boots, wring out
tho linen, steal keys and opon locks.
Hiie had a cup of tea every morning, and
one of cocoa every evening, and at any ■
1 time would fiil h r own cup or tumble! !
without spilling a drop- suggesting al
once a sense of propriety and of appreci- I
nt ion of tho b verage. Her death wax
quite pathetic. After some years’ ex|M>- 1
rienco of the Dresden climate, he show
cd symptoms of consumption; and, if un
1 able to re.iliz > the progress of the disease,
she w»s quite conscious when it wiu
■ drawing to a close. She would scarcely
1 allow her friend, D . Sehopf, who nurs
cd her throu /hout her illness, to leave
her sight. When tho end approached,
| feeling her forces ebbing, she threw her
i arms around his neck, kissing him re
. pent- dly, held out her h ind to grasp hi*
and fell back lifeless.
A Relic of Jefferson.
The flat little stucco bui.ding at O and
Fourteenth streets, which is being pulled
down this week, has a history. It it
said that President Jefferson ojiened r.
public school tli 're iu 1805, after his sec
ond election, relinquishing its use as i
' stable for that purpose. It was ther<
that he kept his horse and perhapa his
carriage, or wheeled vehicle of some sort
—no doubt the same hi-toric horse on
which ho rode from Monticello to the
Capita', and then back again on the morn
| iug of his inauguration and rode up tc
the Capitol, where, tradition says, ho
dismounted and hitched him to the pick
et fence till after the ceremony.
Tho reason why Jefferson rode on
horseback, by the way, does u. t appear
Ito h iv. boon his ity or his <. on*
omy, for h was both an extravagant and
a ceremonious man ; but because it was
at th it time about the only way in which
a nrm could get through the mud of Vir
ginia to Washingtm, and through the
knee-deep mud of Pennsylvania avenue 1
to the Capitol.— H'r.xAi J'oet.
The Excellence of Farm Life.
It is a common complain: that the fam
; and farm life are not appreciated bv our
! people. W< long for the more elegant
pursuit-or the ways and fashions of th*
town. But the farmer has the most sane
and natural occupation, and ought tc
tind life sweeter, if less highly seasoned,
than any other. Ho alone, strictly
s;> aking, has a home. How can a man
t ike root and live without landt H«
writes his history upon his field. How
j many ties and resources he has; his
‘ friendships with his cattle, his team, his
dog, hi* trees; the satisfaction in hu
' grow ng crops in hi* improved fields-
I his intimacy with nature, with bird and
' beast, and with the quickening elem. n
, tai forces. Cling to the farm, make much
*of it, bestow your heart, your brain
j upon it, so that it shall savor of vou ar.d
I radiate your virtues after your day’s
I work is done. Cesxfwry
PAWNSHOPS.
How These Institutions are
Conducted in France.
Ban En’irely by tha G ivernment for the
Belief of the Impecuniotu.
In the centre of a busy commercial
quarter of Paris—in the Rue des B ones
M intcaux—is a large five-story bud ling
with its windows securely barred and
wired, as if something precious were
contained within, with the ever promi
nent words “Liberty, Equality, Frater
nity” carved on its walls, nnd over the
doorway of which, just under the
tricolor, may b- read in large gold letter
ing “Mont de Piete." Several republi
can guard* walk about the two large
courts within, nnd there are other signs
of officialisin, and that the building in
question is national property. It is, in
deed, the headquur rrs of the national
pawn shop. With us, when on unex
pected crisis in one’s financial affairs
leads him to temporarily get rid of some
of his personal ]>rop.:rty, he euphonisti
cally tells his friends that he has been to
his “uncle’s.” A Frenchman in similar
straits visits his “aunt,” whose real name
throughout France is the Mont de Piete.
A Frenchman will not slink away sneak
ing y to his “aunt,” but, when necessity
requires it, will visit her fearlessly and
openly ns he would tlie E-compte de
Paris or the Credit Lyonnais The Aloni
de Piete is indeed a bank, without capi
tal and without div.d nd.
Connected with the principal Mont de
Piete there arc twenty auxiliary bureaus
throughout t’uo town; and it is perhaps
about the only institution in Paris which
is open all the year round, fete days in
cluded. The director of the concern is
appointed by the Minister of the Interior,
and the administration is under the di
rection of the Prefect of the Seine. Eight
per cent, is charged as interest on the
articles pledged. This charged is un
questionably high, hut the expin;.-sit
hai to meet are considerable. The
money thin acquired goes to pay all the
ex pen x of management, the erection
and m iint 'iianc • of buildings, etc. At
the end of a year or fifteen months, if the
pledger docs not respond to a communi
cation he receives from the Mont, and re
new his pledge or tike out his property,
it is sold. Within the general adminis
tration of tho Mont de Piete there is an
army of officials called the “commissaires
priseur*,” who value the property pledged.
During last year there were 15C3 sales of
unclaimed property, which realized 217
987 francs. The commissaires priseurs
look after these sales, and their charge is
five per cent. Should the property
sold bring more than it was
originally valued at, the owner gets tho
difference, but he does not lose through
depreciation of value. Articles may be
renewed nd infinitum. At the immense
storehouse in the Rue des Blancs there
are articles that have been renewed for
over forty years. One antiquated um
brella has beeu there since 182 S, during
which time its value has been paid four
or five times over in interest. As a dif
ferent colored ticket is given each time
a pledge is renewed, the umbrella has
'ong since exhausted all the colors of the
rainbow, and on the last occas’on when
the ticket was presented for renewal, tho
Monte do Piete ma lea present of tho
venerable para/iluie to the proprietor.
After all the expenses of the Monte do
Piete have been met, the balance, if any,
goes to the public assistance —the relief
of the poor. There are between forty
and fifty Monte de Pietes in France, and
all are managed on the same principle,
and are under tho care of the municipal
councils. Outside the national institu
tion, pawubroking is prohibited in
France. A man was recently caught
who carried on a successful business by
buying up pawn tickets, and he will in
due course be punished.
The pawnshop is an ancient institu
tion. As early ns 1198 one was estab
lished in Liege. In the year 1462 several
establishments, called Monti di Pieta,
were started in Italy under the care and
protection of the church All the early
Monts de Piete were connected with
churches or hospitals, and were a .pecics
of charitable bulks, which charged uo
interest. Pall JJi.’Z (I t; tt,-.
S liding Flowers by Mail.
Flowers to be sent by mail should bo
cut in the morning before the sun has had
much effect upon them. The best pack
ing material is their own foliage, or in
stead of that any good foliage. The
best package is a tin box or case. Place
a bit of moist brown paper at the bot
tom, lay in the fl we;s so that they will
snugly fill the box, put another piece of
damp paper over all, and inclose with
the cover. If oiled piper is at hand the
box can be lined with it, and no damp
pap r will then be needed. A paper
wrapper about the box, securely tied,
completes the package. Damp cotton
is often tied about the stems of the
flowers, but usually this supply of moist
ure is too great for them when closed
from the air, and causes decay.
He—“ How do you like Signor Wil
kinsonio’s voice! B-autiful, is it not!”
She—“l don’t think so. I prefer
yours. But then, you know, lam pecu
liar I”
Meollhy A’egioes.
John W. Cromwell, a negro journalist
in Philadelphia, ha* compiled an inter
esting exhibit of the business condition
of bis race in America.
The Carolinas take the lead in the
number of well-to-do negroes. North
Carolina has twenty who are worth from
110,000 to $30,000 each. In South Caro
lina the negroes own $10,000,000 worth
of property. In Charleston fourteen men
represent SIB,OOO, and Charles C. Leslie
is worth $12,000. The family of Noiset
tes, truck farmers, are worth $150,000.
In the city savings bank the negroes
have $124,026.35 on deposit. One man
has over $5,000. He recently bought a
SIO,OOO plantation and paid $7,000 in
cash.
In Pniladelphia John AfcKee is worth
half a million. He owns 400 houses.
Several are worth SIOO,OOO each.
The negroes of New York own from
five to six million dollars worth of real
estate. P. A. White a wholesale drug
gist, is worth a quarter of a million and
has an annual business of $200,000,
Catherine Black is worth $150,000.
In Nt w Jersey the negroes own $2,-
000,(KM worth of real estate. Baltimore
has more negro home-owners than any
other large city. Nineteen men are
worth a total of SBOO,OOO. John Thomas,
the wealthiest, is worth about $150,000.
Less thana hundred negroes in Washing
ton are worth a total of $1,003,000.
In Louisiana tlie negroes pay tax on
$15,000,000 in New Orleans, and $30,-
1 000,000 in the state. lonie Lafcn, a
French quadroon, is worth $1,100,000.
The Mercer Brothers, clothiers, carrj a
stock of $300,000, Missouri has twenty
seven citizens worth a million dollars in
amounts ranging from $20,000 to $250,-
000.
The richest colored woman of the
south, Amanda Eubanks, made so by the
will of her white father, is worth SIOO,-
000, and lives near Augusta, Ga. Chica
go, the home of 18,000 colored people,
has three colored firms in business, whose
proprietors represent $20,000 each, one
$15,000 and nine SIO,OOO. The Eastlake
furniture company is worth $20,000.
A. J. Scott has $35,000 invested in
the livery business, and is worth SIOO,-
000, including a well stocked farm in
Michigan. Mrs. John Jones and Rich
ard Grant are worth §70,000 each. A.
G. White, of St. Louis, formerly sur
veyor to the Anchor line of steamers,
after financial reverses, has, since the
age of forty-five, retrieved his fortunes
and accumulated $30,000. Mrs. AL
Carpenter, a San Francisco colored wo
man, has a bank account of $50,000, and
Mrs. Mary Pleasant has an income from
eight houses in Lan Francisco, a ranch
near San Mateo and SIOO,OOO in govern
ment bonds. In Marysville, Cal., twelve
individuals arc owners of ranches valued
in the aggregate at from $150,000 to
SIBO,OOO. One of them, Airs. Peggy
Breden, has besides a bank account of
$40,000.
These stastics show that the brother in
black is making some headway iu the
world. He is learning to “tote his own
skillet.”
A Chicken Killing -Match.
A novel and bloody contest took place
recently in Detroit between George A.
Fisher and Al. Dutnphey, rival chicken
executioners. Fisher had offered to
wager SIOO that die could dress 200
chickens better and in less time th n
Dumphey would require to do the job,
and the latter disputed the claim to the
extent of covering the bet.
The day was fixed for the contest, and
much interest was manife ted, private
bets aggregating SI,OOO and over being
made on the result. Articles of agree
ment were drawn up, the requirements
being that the chii’kens should be kept
in crops containing fifty each, and that
half should be fowls of mature years and
the remainder spring chickens.
The chickens were killed with a sharp
knife, which was plunged into their jug
ular, nnd were then thrown into a vat of
boiling water. They were passed to the
contestants, who denuded them of their
feathers. Each fowl was closely scrutin
ized by the umpires on both sides and by
the referee. The work was har I, and
the excitement increased when Fisher
took the lead Dumphey made a strong
effort to catch up with his opponent, but
was unsuccessful. Fisher dressed the
last of his 200 birds in forty-four min
utes. Dumphey finished twenty-one
minutes later.
Fisher’s friends say that their man can
outdo any man in America in the chicken
dressing business, and they are willing
to back him for any amount. Another
match will probably result from the <lis
pute.
A Cyc.’onc Fnffercr.
“Here, leave those apples alone! Y’ou’re
the second tramp that has tried to steal
them to-day!”
“I wasn't trying to steal them. I was
just looking at them, and thinking of
the last apples I saw iu the cyclone dis
trict, in Kansas."
‘•Was you in a cyclone?”
“I was, for a fact. All alone in a cab
in. No article of furniture but a well
trimmed lamp.”
"Case of well-trimmed lamp and well-
■ limbed tramp, eh?’
“It was, when I saw the cyclone com
ing.”
“What did you do?"
"What the lamp did—light out.”
Pastime.
"I sav Napoleon crossed the Alps in
1800.”
"And I say in 1802.”
“You dejicnd on memory.”
“No, I dont. I depend on pastime.”
“Pastime I"
“Cert inly. Ain’t history a mere mat
ter of pastime?”
■*».
Scnvenffcrs of Importance.
Next to the b<Mels, or rather in conjunction
xtith th’ in. the k dneys and bladder are tho
n»>'*t injjH rtant scavengers of the System.
Th- y purify the blood and carry off its refuse,
preventing rht uinatisn . dr p-y. Bright > d ~-
ea>e and diaf»et<s by their •'•tire cleansing
s»ork. H.-.s:citer's Stomach B tters. when tl e
kidne> • ev nee a tender cv to relax the activity
ot their important fnnct.on. renews it, and
thus are to renal ma.adie*. the nv*t uiincnlt
t cepe wi’h. and winch superinduce a fright
ful Rm of Udl.y tissue, stamina and flesh.
When thermal organs exhibit the < hte-'t
s -np’om< of inaction, they ehouid at once re
ceive the needful stimvius from this 'afesL
•ureet and p ra-antest fdi .re xc-*. Chilisand
lever, dvspape a. constipation, liver cvmpla.nt
aud debility are also remedied by it.
i
Wet acd »iy.
When the Board of Trade of Chicago
moved from the old business center there
was a rush for the old offices vacated by
the njbo'* of commerce. After awhile,
the new tenants found the high-priced
rooms didn't pay, and sought all kinds
of excuses to move.
Among these unfortunates were Stubbs
and Stobbs. Each had rented an office,
| Stubbs in the basement, Stobbs in the
attic. When the renting agent came
around, Mr. Stubbs announced bis inten
■ tion of moving.
“But you can’t doit, you know,” said
the agent.
“Why not ?”
“We've got you on a year’s lease.”
“Well, I have reasons for abandoning
the case.”
i “What reason ?”
! “This basement room is damp. The
i glue in the desks got so moist they fell
to pieces. The books are all moldy, and
I’ve got rheumatism from it. I'd ought
to sue you for damages.”
The agent looked scared, muttered
something about “being sorry, move, of
course, if you must,” and went to see
Air. Stobbs.
Stobbs surprised him with a similai
declaration of intention to move.
“What’s your complaint?” growled
the agent. “Dampness here, too, 1 sup
pose ?”
“No, sir, just the reverse. Why, sir,
the sun has blistered the floor till it’s all
out of plumb, my new desk is all scorch
ed, and I’ve got no blood left, with the
dry rot in this place.”
“You got very badly deceived by two
j very shrewed men,” a friend told the
agent, a day or two later, “Those scamps
got rich on those offices.”
“How so ? They said wet and dry— F
“Yes, Stubbs was in the basement next
door to a saloon. Kept full all the tim<-,
and got so jovial that everybody liked
him. Business boomed on account of
liis rare good-nature.”
“And Stobbs ?”
“He was dry—very dry. Basement
I saloon eight flights down. Kept sober
fora month from necessity, reformed,
and saved a farm in drinks in two
weeks 1”
Too Sure.
I belonged to a company that made
the famous raid around AlcClellan’s lines
before Richmond, under General Stuart.
It had been arranged we should divide,
and, taking different routes, meet at
New Kent Court House, the intersection
:of several roads. I was among the first
party to arrive. We found that this lit
tle village was a depot for large supplies
for the Union army. They were so con
fident of their security that they did not
think of looking beneath our dust-laden
clothes for Confederates. AVc were toe
few in number to take possession, and
must lie low until joined by others of out
party, so we straggled around making
I observations.
There were several finely furnished
sutler stores, and one of these, with twe
of my domrades, I entered. As we
stepped to the bar, which was finely and
abundantly stocked,the proprietor asked:
“Champagne, gentlemen?"
“Certainly, and some of your finest
havanas,” we replied.
“May I ask to what cavalry you be
long,’ he continued.
“We? Oh, we are a new company sent
out after that rebel Stuart,”
| “You do not mean to say he is any
where near here, do you? Os course he
is not. lie would not dare venture here,
with the whole of AlcClellan’s army in
front of us.”
“We continued quietly sampling the
fluids, while he continued:
“I’m not a fighting man myself, but
I’d show him how that case could speak,
. if I ever set eyes on him,” pointing to a
ease of fine re vol vers exhibited for sale.
, Just then there was an unusual noise
without, and we caught a glimpse of the
I remainder of our command, and we said:
I “You had better set out a few more
I glasses, and open another bottle or two;
those are some of our friends. Yes,
there is no use fooling longer, we are
. Stuar’s cavalry.”
He, as well as several finely dressed
loafers, was too much astonished to make
the slightest resistance, and we were
soon in possession.
“Gone into the coal business, eh
Jones?’
“Yes, Smith.”
“Wholesale or retail.”
“Either. I make it a rule to sell my
coal in lots to soot.”
Small Boy (in a shop)—“l wanttogei
a Christmas present for my mother.”
Proprietor—‘ How would a pair of slip
i pers do, sonny?” Small Boy—“ Have
' you got 'em made of cloth, an’ without
any heels ?” Proprietor—“ Yes.” Small
Boy (eagerly)—Gimme a pair.”
Architect Edmond Lecendre, 419 Sutter
str- et, San Francisco. Ca .. states that having
«nffe el tor a long time with a severe cough,
and failing to obtain any relief from docton
and the numerou, preparations he took, he
I became alarmed. Tried Red Star Cough Cura
and one bottle entirely cured him.
Mrs. Benedict, best known through het
fashion journal, rot only edits it, but supplies
n half zen columns weekly for one of Phila
de phia's daily papers. She also does tlie
ed. orial writ ng lor a fashion journal other
wise edited end managed by a gentleman.
Mr. Ed. >■. Wells. Thetis P. O„ Stevens Co.,
Wash. Territory, was entirely cured of rheu
matism by the use of St. Jacobs Oil. He says:
"I consider t a wonderful remedy and will
always speak a good word for it.”
Grace K n.-, tlie new writer to whom Dud
ley Warner is acting as literary godlather, is
both eccentric and untidy in her attire. Her
liair usua Iy looks as it it had been brushed
the wrong way. and her iiat seems to be con
stantly defying the laws ot gravitation.
Ha rv 'i> write to
Ha lett a Co., Poruau xMa ne, will learn of a
genuine om. \ouc It earn from Soto and
av ’ Youc * n 'T'-esorkanlhvo
Hen ‘.‘"■ever jo : are locale !. Full par
ticulars no; he sen; you free. Some Lave
earmd o-er -.0 .a a da.. Capital not nee led.
’ '.u »re su.te 1 n bu-i ess iree. Both sexes.
lm “en-e p odts sure ,o • those who
start » once. 1 oar urst act should be to write
lor particulars.
Stop that Cough that tickling n the throat 1
stop ih-it ( onsumptive <. ond t nn ’
You be cun <i! You can’t afford to wait!
Dr. Kilm. r’s < ough Cure [Conxuniphrr otfl
will do it quickly and permanently. 25 cents.
Why go limpin? around with vour boots
run over, when Lyon's Heel Stiffeners will
keep them straight?
Piso'9 Remedy for Catarrh is arreeable to
ns . It is not a liquid or a snuff. stkv.
DANGERCC 2_DRI GS.
Hew A |, Sucb
A gentlemat"who hU’7p£X7he sumnw
abroad, said to uur reporter, that th. t
tf.at imwewel him most of ail wus tbe "‘“J
ter of bolutay* om encounters abroad.s
the ittl. anxiety the people di. m
conduct of busino.* a faus. "Men
here, he aakl "that they work for years wu ?
out a day of!; in Europe that Would te cos'
sfdei ed t» crime. “ Lu °-
.. Mr H H w S£ner, who was preeent alts,
time, mid: "Thui i* the first bu umT!
years that I have not spent on theater
Been too bu iy. ” wr *
‘•1 hen, 1 suppose you have been adverts
ing ex tens’velyf* ru *‘
"Not at all We have always
rioted our laboratory during Julv AuimZ
and September, out this tumnier’wa ba
kept it running day and night to TO|T v th!
demand, which lias teem three times gt'w.tZ,
than ever before in our history at this
son ’
•‘How do you account for this!’’
■ The iucrease has come from the unu-e,
tai recoffnition »r tJtr care, -lime• of ou ,
preparation’. We have teen neariv
years before tho public, and the sales an
conjrtaatly wreaslng, while cur new.paue.
adveriising is con-tanlly dirnini>ih,>ui
Why, high scientific and med cal nutli ri
ties now publicly concede that our Warner's
safe cure is tlie only scientific *pecifi c so ,
kidney and liver diseams, and fur all ths
many direotes caused by them " !
‘ lias e you evidence of th s’”
“Abundance! Only a few wteksa-oDr
J. L. Stephens, of I ebaiion, Ohio, a specialist
for the cure ot narcotic, etc.,habits, told me
that a num. er of eminent scieuLlic medied
men hid b en eiperimentiug for tears test
ing and analysing ail known remedies for
the kidneys and Iver; for, as you may be
aware, the e tcessive u e ot a l narcotics and
stimulants destroys tho e organs, and until
they can bo rest rei to health the habits
cannot be broken up! Among the iuvesti
gators svere such men as J. M Hall. M D
i resideut of tho State Board of Health of
lowa, and Ale - ander Neil, M D., Professor
of Surgery in the Col ege of Physicians and
Surgeons and president of tho Academy ot
Medicine at Columbus, who, after erhaustiy,
inquiry, reported that there was no remedy
known to schools or to scientific inquiry
equal to Warner’s safe care:” 1
"Are many persons addicted to the use of
deadly drugs i”
“There are forty millions of people in the
w orld who use opium alone, an I there are
many hundreds of thousands iu this counirv
who are victims of morph .ne, opium quinine
and cocaine. They think they have uo such
habit about them—so mnsy'reoj-le ar.’ un
conscious victi us of these habits They
hare pains and symptoms of what they
call ma aria and other diseases, when in
reality it is the demand in the system
for theeo terrible dregs, a ilen.asd that
is caused largely by physi ians’pres ription*
which contain so many dangerous drugs,
and strong spirits, and one that must lie
answered or silenced in tho kidneys and li-.-er
by what Stephens sis the only kidney
and liver specific. Healso saysthatinodciar*
opium and other drug caters, if they sustain
the kidney and liver vigor with that great
remedy, can keep up these habits in modera
tion."
‘Well doesnot this discovery give you a
new revelation of he power of safe cure: '
“No sirjfor years I have tried to convince
the public that neurl'/ all Ute diseases of the
human system originate iu some disorder of
the kidney’s or liver, and hence I have
logically declared that if our specific were
used, over ninety per cent, of tho e ailments
would disappear. The liver and kidneys
seem to absot b these poisons from the blood
and become depraved and diseased.
“When these eminent authorities thus pub
licly admit that there is no remedy Like ours
to enable the kidneys and liver to throw off
the frightful effe- ts of all deadly drugs and
excessive use of stimulants it is an admission
of its power as great as any one < ould desire;
for if through it* influence alone the op u n,
morphine, quinine, cocaine and liquor habits
<au be overcome, what higher testimon al of
its spe ific power could b ■ asked for f"
“You really telieve then, Mr. Warner,
tliat the ma ority of di-eases come from kid
ney and liver complaints ?”
"Ido! tVh-n you see a person moping
and grovelingabout, half dead and half all e,
year after year, you may surely put him
down as having some kidney and liver
trouble.”
‘ Tho other day I was talking with Dr.
Fowler, the eminent oeuli-rt ot this city, who
said that half the patients who < anie to him
for eye treatment were affected by a Ivan ed
kidney disease. Now many people wonder
why in middle life their eye sight becomes
bo noor. A thorough course of treatment
with Warner’s sa'e euro is what they need
more than a pair of eye glasses. The kidney
poison iu t. e blood always attack .the weak
est part of the body; with some it affects the
eyes; with others the heal; with others the
stomach or the lungs, or r.'ieiimnflcdisorder
follows and neuralgia tears them to pieces,
or they lose the ; outers of taste, smell, or be
come i nz'otmt in other functions of the
body. What man would m t give his all to
have the vigor of youth at command?"
“The intelligent physician knows that
these complaintsale but s'imploinst they aie
not tlie disorder, nnd they are symptoms not
of disease of the head, the eye or stoma-h, or
ot virility, ne essarily, but of the kidney
poison in the bh-od and they may prevail
and no pain oc- ur in the ki Inevs. ”
It is not strange that the enthusiasm which
Mr. Warner displays in his a|>pre iation of
his own remedy, which restored him to
health when the do-tors said he could not
live six months, should become infectious
and that the entire world should pay tribnt*
to its power. For, as Mr. Warner says the
sab* are constantly- in-reasing, while hi*
news; aper ach ertising is constantly dimin
ishing This speaks volumes in p-raise of th*
extraordinary merits ot his prepaiationa
Such is Life.
A young man and a young woman lea*
over the front gate. They are lovers.
It is moonlight. He is loath to leave, as
the parting is the last. He is about to gc
away. She is reluctant to see him depart.
They swing on the gate.
“I’ll never forget you,” he says, “and
if death should claim me my last thought
will be of you.”
“I’ll never forget you,” she sobs. “I t
never see anybody else or love them at
long as Hive.”
3’hey part.
Six yeats later he returns. His sweet
heart of former years has married. U l6 !
meet at a party. Between the dancet
the recognition takes place.
“Let me see,” she muses, with h r fu
beating a tattoo on her pretty hand.
“was it you or your brother who was m?
old sweathe rt ?”
“Reallv, I don’t know,” he rays
“Probably my brother.”
The conversation ends.
The Lost Cord.
“Hear that piano—hear that piano.
“Yes.” . .
“Old Snagsby's daughter. They j us
do it to tantalize me.”
“Why, it seems a very nice song- ' ID
Lost Chord,’ I believe.”
“Is that the name of it?”
<4 Yes, n <
“Aleaner and meaner! The chcva
them Snagsbys is something tf ' rr ‘ L ■
Here the old man »tole half my
last night, and his daughter’s -in
about the lost cord, right under
noses I”
Chawley—“Who’s the old
you n dded to Fwed?” Fwed ' • "
the old chap over there? Ob,that ss - ro
of mine.”