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The Pelham Journal.
Entered I <•<•< n>i< i ;;ro. u« at J elliani, ( a
at second. clasa maii matter, under act ol Con
grew ot March 3rd, 1x79.
Published Evey Friday,
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The Death of Uncle Remus
Sunday afternoon in Weetview
cemetery, Atlanta, was laid to
rest the remains of “Uncle
Remus”.
In the hearts of all the people
he is lovingly remembered and
the sweet influence of his life and
labors lives to brighten, bless and
cheer forever.
His folk-lore stories have been
translated into the principal lan¬
guages of the world and the
children of many lauds love the
man who told to them the pranks
of Br’er Rabbit and Br’er Fox.
His subtle humor, tender sym¬
pathy, wise plilososphy and con¬
stant modesty made him a favor¬
ite with all mankind. The wisest
and most practical warmed to
him in ardent admiration of his
genius and his wisdom; the man
of only ordinary attainment
found strength and uplift in his
genial philosophy, while the
laughter of glad children pays
constant tribute to his subtle
humor.
To have reached all classes as
did Joel Chandler Harris and to
have claimed from each unstinted
homage is to have lived most
wisely and most well.
He gave the South a distinctive
literature that has all the quali¬
ties that make it potent and pop¬
ular forever. Through him bird
and beast and man and flower
and stream are brought in closer
harmony and have established
between them a living line of
connection.
His life is a splendid-tribute,to
true modesty. Had he been less
modest, he would have been less
great. He did not capture his
million friends by storm but by
the tender truth and the whole¬
some humor of his writings he
won the hearts of all the people,
and by the invisible threads of
communication that admitted
him to the thoughts of animals
he will through ail time continue
to commune with man.
And who shall Bay that there
shall not be bcrne to him along
these same invisible threads
through eternity the thrill of the
laughter of children.
Death of a Little Child.
The fourteen months old child
of Mr. and Mrs. W. F. Hayes
died Tuesday at Camilla where
the parents hau carried it for
medical treatment.
The remains were brought to
Pelham this morning and bun-d
in the cemetery. The funeral
services were conducted by Rev.
C W. Curry.
The sorrowing parents have
the sympathy of their many
friends in the loss of their little
c ne.
First Open Cotton.
Mr. John M. Watts sent us
Tuesday afternoon the first boll
fff open cotton of the season. Mr.
Watts is farming south of Pelham
and judging from what he has
shown us he is pushing for the
honors of the first bale.
Mr. Ralph Turner of Baconton
fpent Thursday in the city.
His Kate.
The race of consequential vergers is
not yet extinct. Dean Pigoe has a story
about one of them. who. when a bish¬
op naked him at what point he was to
make his appearance, replied:
“First I take the choir people to their
places, and then, after they are seated.
I return for you. my lord, and conduct
you to the baiter.”—London Telegraph.
Expected Reduction.
Grandpa Macpherson — How many
do two and two make, Donald? Don¬
ald—Six. Grandpa—What are you talk¬
ing about? Two and two make four.
Donald—Yes, I know, but I thought
you’d “beat me down” a bit!—London
Punch.
No Accent.
French professor—Ah, yes, mademoi¬
selle, you spick ze French wizout ze
least accent. Miss Breezy—Do I, real¬
ly? French Professor—Oh, yes—zat
ees, wizont ze least French accent.
The Wiser of the Two.
“Mary,” said Mr. Thomas when a si¬
lence fraught with unpleasant meaning
followed his first altercation with his
young wife.
“Yes?” said Mary interrogatively.
“When a man and his wife have a—a
difference,” said Mr. Thomas, with a
judicial air, “and each considers the
other at fault, which of the two should
make the first advance toward a recon¬
ciliation?”
“The wiser of the two,” said Mrs.
Thomns, “and so, my dear, I’ll say at
once that I am very sorry.”
It occurred to Mr. Thomas that it
might have been as well for him to
have made the first advance, after all,
but he thoughtfully refrained from say¬
ing so.
Ashamed of Their Job,
"I don’t see why it is,” mused the
fiat dweller, “that men are so ashamed
of washing clothes when they are
caught at it. Why shouldn’t they?
Washing is about the hardest work
anybody can do. and yet it is relegated
to women. The other morning I got
up unusually early and, looking across
into the window of the next apartment
through my kitchen window, saw some
one with short hair bending over the
tub. At first I thought it was a short
haired girl, but when she raised up
and I saw that she had on trousers it
was borne in upon me that she was a
boy. The moment he looked at me lie
frowned, came to the window and an¬
grily drew the curtain down. Now,
why shouldn't he have washed those
clothes with the curtain up and me
looking at him just the same as he
would have done if he had been a short
haired girl?”—New York Press.
Too Many Odds.
“An Irish counsel,” says the Green
Bag, “having lost a case which had
been tried before three judges, one of
whom was esteemed a very able law¬
yer and the other two but indifferent,
some of the other counsel chaffed him
a good deal.
“ ‘Well, now,’ said he, ‘who the mis¬
chief could help it when there were.a
hundred judges on the bench?’
" ‘A hundred!’ said a bystander
’There were but three.’
“ ’By St. Patrick,’ replied the coun¬
sel, ‘there were one and two ciphers!’ ”
Too Modest,
Sir W. S. Gilbert’s own story of liis
first experience as a playwright is in¬
structive. He took his maiden attempt
to a manager, who read it carefully
and offered to accept it. “Now,” said
he to the overjoyed dramatist, “what
do you expect me to pay you for this?”
The young author, not liking to be too
forward, modestly suggested 30 guin¬
eas. The manager immediately wrote
out a check for the desired amount and
presenting it to Gilbert, said: “Young
man, let me give you a word of advice.
Never sell so good a play for such a
small amount again.”
He Was Mistaken.
“Yes,” said the sad eyed passenger.
“1 married the widow of a man who
was hanged, and I thought, under the
circumstances. I would be able to avoid
odious comparisons in connection with
the late lamented. But 1 was mis¬
taken.”
“She praised him just the same, eh?”
rejoined the sympathetic hardware
drummer.
“Well, not exactly,” answered the s
e. p., “but we hadn’t been married a
week until she declared that hanging
was too good for me.”—Exchange.
Pretty Empty.
A story is told of an incident which
happened when Admiral Evans was :::
command of the Indiana, says liar
per’s Weekly. An old time bluejacket
was at the mast before Captain Evans
charged with getting food out of
mess chest outside of meal hour
This getting food for night watches i
a common and strong desire on th<
part of most men aboard ship
Captain Evans asked the man what
he had to say. and the man. sizing u;
the delicate situation, said:
“Captain^ I didn’t take no food onto
that chest. Why. captain, there wereu’:
no food in that chest! I looked in tha!
chest, and, captain, I met a cocbroacL
coming out of that chest with tears in
his eyes.”
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The Substitute.
The school inspector was talking
about adverbs and adjectives.
“Does your master use adverbs and
adjectives?” he asked.
“Yes, sir,” chorused the scholars.
“Well, what does he use when he
does not use adverbs and adjectives?”
There was silence. Finally a little
fellow waved his hand. “He general¬
ly uses a ruier, sir.’’—London Express.
Snakes and Their Prey.
A rabbit will sit up and drum with
its forelegs ou a cobra or python; a
goat or kid takes no more notice of a
huge snake approaching it than of an¬
other goat or of a man; a rat will sit
up on a snake and wash its face or
will nibble at the snake; a pigeon
struts about and preens itself with the
utmost nonchalance. The nonpoisonous
snakes, such as pythons and anacon¬
das. strangle their prey before swallow¬
ing it. I have never happened to see a
case where a nonpoisonous snake did
not kill its victim as painlessly as
would have been done by human agen¬
cy.’’—Dr. Chalmers Mitchell, Secretary
of the Zoological Society, in London
Magazine.
Scene and Circumstance.
When a noble act is done, perchance
in a scene of great natural beauty;
when Leonidas and his 300 martyrs
consume one day in dying and the sun
and moon come each and look at them
ouee in the steep defile of Thermopy¬
lae; when A raoliJtyWiukelrted, in the
high Alps, under the shadow of the
avalanche, gathers in his side a sheaf
of Austrian spears to break the line
for his comrades—are not these heroes
entitled to add the beauty of the scene
to the beauty of the deed?—Ralph Wal¬
do Emerson.
All For Show.
It Is a poor town which cannot boast
of something to the stranger within its
gates. The man in the anecdote relat¬
ed by a writer in the Yonkers States¬
man was hard put to it, but he suc¬
ceeded in upholding the dignity of his
native heath.
“This is one of our greatest show
places,” said the resident who was tak¬
ing a friend about his town.
“Why, it is only a vacant lot!” re¬
plied the friend.
“Certainly, hut it’s where the circus
always performs when it comes to
town,” responded the proud citizen.
Teacher—What kind of a bird did
Noab send out of the ark?
Small Boy—A dove.
Teacher—I’m surprised to find that
the smallest boy in tbe class is the only
oue to know.
Big Boy—Please, teacher, his father
keeps a bird shop.
Taking Care of Husbands.
There’s no romance left In the world,
anyway. Time was when girls dream¬
ed of Prince Charming and didn’t both¬
er about anything less important than
the color of his eyes and the way he
tied his cravat Now they’re thinking
of a bank account so large that almost
any man will be quite indistinguisha¬
ble bidden behind it They’re doing
worse than that I overheard two
mites of girls, neither of them older
than thirteen, exchanging confidences
recently. The taller one was all for
marrying money. The shorter one said
she meant to be an architect and earn
her own living.
“But if you’d marry a rich man you
wouldn't have to,” objected the taller
girl.
The midget screwed up her face
shrewdly.
“You can’t never tell about money,”
she said. “He might go and lose it,
and then where’d I be with him to sup¬
port If I couldn’t work?”
“And would you try to support him?”
asked the first girl, a bit awestricken.
The other nodded.
“I’d give him car fare every morn¬
ing and 15 cents for lunch," she said
magnanimously.—Washington Herald.
A Financier.
“Billinger must be a good deal of a
financier.”
“Has he succeeded in amassing mil¬
lions?”
“No, but he has succeeded in mort¬
gaging a grand piano for which he is
paying on the installment plan, thus
raising enough money with which to
make the first payment on au automo¬
bile.”—Chicago Record.
Dancing.
In the earlier ages dancing was ad¬
vocated as a cure for sickness. Lycur
gus brought back from India and
Egypt to Lacedaemouia notions of
medico-religious dances and enacted
that the Spartan youth should be
brought up gracefully and symmetric¬
ally. In Greee Socrates commended
dancing with a view of educating the
mind and body, for he looked on it as
a health giving device.
Cheerful Checkers.
Carlyle, in bis “French Revolution,”
states that Louis XVI. played draughts
daily during his period of detention at
the temple in Paris. It is even stated
that he played during that terrible day
of the “September massacres,” but I
am afraid the games contested would ,
not be of much value as far as skill is
concerned, for, though the hand might
move, the mind would be full of the
gloomiest thoughts.—London Mail.
“In your paper this morning, sir, you
called me a ‘bum actor.’ I want an ex
plauation.” “I word shall ‘actor’ be happy inserted to ex- j
plain. That was
by the proofreader, ay ho ♦bought I
omitted it accidentally. I shall take
care that It doesn't happen again.”—
Chicago Tribune.
Ptolemaic Astronomy.
According to the Plotemaic theory
the east was the center of the universe ;
and was motionless. The surrounding
ethereal region was composed of eleven
skies or firmaments, which revolved :
around the earth as a common center, i
All the celestial bodies moved around
the earth. This system lasted for more
than 1,100 years, from about 200 B. C.
to the time of Copernicus.—New York
American.
When Eli Perkins, the lecturer, was
making a tour of the west he said he
was traveling there for his wife’s
pleasure. “Then wife is with you?” [
your sug¬
gested some one.
“Oh, no,” said Ell; “she Is in New
York.”
Helping a Tartar.
A singular custom prevails among
the Tartars or Kurds. If a man gets
into difficulties—i. e., loses his cattle
or other movable property—he pours a
little brown sugar into a piece of col¬
ored cloth, ties it up and carries one
such parcel to each of his friends and
acquaintances. In return he is present¬
ed, according to circumstances, with a
cow or sheep or a sum of money. He
is thus at once set on his legs again.
“I shay, ol’ fellow, zee there!” re¬
marked a suburbanite to a neighbor
with whom he had had a convivial |
night. “There’s a burglar getting into
your bouse by zee window.”
“Sho he is! Walt a little! My wife’ll
zhink lie's me, and she'll half kill him!”
responded the other—London Telegraph.
Warwick castle Is held by many to
be the most beautiful seat in England.
The large baronial haM is a magnifi¬
cent room. It is decorated with the
most perfect specimens of armor, fur
uished in a luxurious manner, and
masses of flowers and large palms
j abound on every side.
Aunt Carrie—Come here, Harry, and
look at the new moon.
Harry (aged five)—Oh, I've seen lots
of moons bigger than that.—Exchange.
Mother—Just run upstairs, Tommy,
and fetch baby’s nightgown. Tommy
—Don’t want to. Mother—Oh, If you’re
going to be unkind to your new little j
sister she'll put on her wings and fly
back again to heaven. Tommy—Then
let her put on her wings and fetch her,
nightgown.
The Sun From a Balloon,
At the height of two miles the' sun
shines with a fierce intensity unknown
below, where the dust and the denser
air scatter the rays, which, thus dif¬
fused, lose their intensity while illu¬
mining every nook and corner of our
houses. At heights exceeding five miles
this diffused light is mostly gone, and
the sun shines a glowing ball, sharply
outlined in a sky of which the blue is
so dark as to approach blackness. At
the outer limits of the atmosphere the
sun would appear a brilliant star of
massive size among other stars, and if
one stepped from its burning rays into
shadow' he would enter Egyptian dark¬
ness. At tbe height of a mile and a
half we found it necessary to shelter
our faces to prevent sunburn, although
the air around us was but little warm¬
er than that of the previous night, be¬
ing about 45 degrees. As the afternoon
wore on and the balloon began to cool
and sink we were obliged to throw out
much sand, casting it away a scoopfu)
at a time, and just after sunset it was
even necessary to empty two or three
bags at once.—II. II. Clayton in Atlan
tic.
Too Significant.
“These Spanish names in California
puzzle me, but some of them have very
interesting meanings,” commented a
guest of oue of the hotels.
“Yes?” said the manager.
“They do, for a fact; they really do.
I am keeping track of a list in my
notebook. But the funuy thing was in
Santa Barbara. Listen to this: ‘Indio
Muerto street, meaniug dead Indian.’
Ah, here It is. the one I was after, a
street named ‘Saisipuedes.’ Well, this
street’s the-one that runs to the hospital
up on the sloping hillside above the
town. When they built the hospital,
they were at a loss for a name. Some
one suggested calliug it after this
street. And they did. Then they hap¬
pened to look up the meaning of the
word.”
“And what does It mean?” asked tbe
manager.
“ ‘Saisipuedes’ was originally a street
that wandered up and down through a
series of ravines, and it means ‘Get
out if you can.’ Good name for a jail,
but not for a hospital.”—San Francisco
Chronicle.
A True Courtier.
Upon his arrival at the court of Vi¬
enna a former French ambassador was
presented to tbe empress, who was
aware that the day before he had visit¬
ed the beautiful Countess X.
“Is it true,” she as^ed, “that the
Countess X. is the most lovely woman
in Europe?”
“I thought so yesterday, your majes¬
ty,” replied the diplomat, with a grace¬
ful bow.
In the Dime Museum.
““What did you do with my ther¬
mometer?” demanded the doctor who
had been called in to attend one of the
freaks.
“1 swallowed it. doc,” answered tbe
glass eater. “Thought it was my med¬
icine.”—Pittsburg Press.
Confusing English.
“I see one of our battleships reported
fast Id the mud.”
“Weil?”
“1 was just thinking that a ship fast
in the mud ought to be a record break¬
er on the open sea.”—Pick-Me-Up.
Money Makes Egotists.
Money is a sort of creation and gives
the acquirer even more than the pos¬
sessor an imagination of his own pow¬
er and tends to make him idolize self
—Cardinal Newman.
Conquering Temptation.
To conquer temptation you must live
It down alone, as you must die alone,
and no vicarious gift of strength can
take the place of a man’s own will —
From “My Journal.”