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What a Political Speaker Endure*.
Tire political stump speaker has
many amusing and many unpleasant
experiences. A party of us went down
Into the heart of the east side of New
York one night with a politician some¬
what handicapped by his wealth and
social position, who nevertheless elect¬
ed to go to the doubtful district per¬
sonally. At a street corner a bunting
draped cart awaited him, and, climbing
to the tailboard of this, he began tell¬
ing the ragged audience in well round¬
ed periods how they should vote and
why. A few jeers began to crop from
the tolerance of the crowd. The jeers
gained volume. He was told to “Aw.
shet up!’’ “Close your head!” “Say.
give us a drink; your talk makes us
t’irsty.” Somewhat disconcerted, but
still determined to finish his speech,
be was continuing when something
hurtled past his head and splashed
gently on the floor of the cart. An¬
other something and another followed,
and every one was dodging decadent
tomatoes until, it becoming impossible
to hear a shout above the jeers and
laughter of the voters, the horses were
started forward out of the soft, red
bombardment and the district left to
Its owu political sins.—John R. Win
chell in Metropolitan Magazine.
Why.He Did the Washing.
A man came up out of one of the
little roof houses across from the wo¬
man’s window with a big basket of
clothes. He was followed by two
small boys, carrying more clothes and
clothespins. The man put the basket
of clothes down and began to sort
them out preparatory to hanging them
on the line. The boys helped, handing
him the clothespins and some small
pieces, one at a time. They were a
long while hanging out the clothes be¬
cause of their awkwardness. It was
evidently work they were unaccustomed
to, but at last it was finished, and the
boys went down into the little roof
house, leaving the man on the roof.
He stood for a moment looking at the
clothes, then, going over to a parapet,
sat down between two tall chimneys.
The woman could see him from her
window lean against one of the chim¬
neys and by and by throw his arm
across his eyes.
She found out afterward that his
wife had died the week before.—New
York Press.
Only a Misunderstanding.
Several years ago in a well known
wholesale house in a big manufactur¬
ing town an old bachelor bookkeeper,
who had been mafiy years with the
firm, suddenly announced that he was
to be married.
eartnnii rtiri [Uli irrtt’n W-
THE PELHAM JOURNAL, FRTDAV, DEC. 18 1908.
The Hat and tha Title.
There is an amusing English defini¬
tion' of "gentleman.” It Is “a man
who wears a silk hat and if he has
no other title insists upon having ’Esq.’
added to his name when letters are
addressed to him.”
The west end Londoner of social
pretensions accepts thts definition tn,
practice. Summer and winter, In rain
or shine, he wears a high silk hat In
the streets of London and carries it
Into the drawing room when he pays
an afternoon call. It is only when he
takes a train for the provinces or for
the continent that he ventures to use
more comfortable headgear. He also
expects to ha\«e the distinction of “es¬
quire” when a letter is addressed to
him and is highly offended if he finds
on the envelope the prefix “Mr.” As
a matter of fact, the number of Eng¬
lish gentlemen who are legally en¬
titled to the mediaeval honor of “es¬
quire” is insignificant. It is a self as¬
sumed title which signifies nothing
that Is substantial In rank or privilege.
In common use in Loudon “esquire"
simply means that the person so ad
dressed does not choose to be assocl
ated with tradesmen and ordinary
working people and that he Is a “gen¬
tleman” who Invariably wears a silk
hat.
Mixed Metaphor. '•
The late Mr. Ritchie when chancel¬
lor of the exchequer once asserted that
“the question of moisture in tobacco
Is a thorny subject and has long been
a bone of contention.” His immediate
successor In office, Austen Chamber¬
lain, remarked at the Liberal Union
club’s dinner that the harvest which
(he preseut government had sown was
already coming home to roost.
Sir William Hart-Dyke has two con¬
spicuous “howlers" to his credit—the
description of James Lowther as hav¬
ing gone to the very top of the tree
and lauded a big fish and the comfort¬
ing assurance that his government had
got rid of the barbed wire entangle¬
ments and was now in smooth water.
Among other political examples of mix¬
ed metaphor are the prediction as¬
cribed to a labor member that If we
give the house of lords rope enough
they w ill soon fill up the cup of their
Iniquity and an Irish member’s com
plulnt that a certain government de¬ j
partment Is Iron bound in red tape.— i
London Standard. j
A Fable.
Once Upon a Time there was a
Young Man who met Two Nice Girls, i
who wefe Constantly Together. Now, !
he was an Astute Young Man. and he
desired to say Something Pretty and
Agree^bfeto
Spider Cures.
In China qfiders are highly esteemed
In the treatment of croup. You get
from an old wall the webs of seven
black spldea-^fwo of which must have
the owners sitting In the middle—and
pound them mp in a mortar with a lit¬
tle powderA alum. The resulting
mixture rhusuthen be set on fire, and
the ashes, when squirted into the
throat of the patient by means of a
bamboo tube, jn-e said to effect a cer¬
tain and Immediate cure.
Black spid are evidently full of
medicinal vi or they are largely
employed in gtment of ague as
well. In ire. if one is af
flicted with, iftsant ailment,
the way to to shut up a
large black *a box and leave
It there till At the moment
of its disci e ague should disap
pear. In Su; x the treatment is more
heroic; the ttent must swallow the
spider.
Perhaps, IgfiJl , this remedy may
not be so •able as it appears,
for a Germ !v who was in the
habit of out spiders from their
webs as |»lked through the depriving woods
and eatii _____ tlTeirblegs M after first
thorn of declared that they
were very nice Indeed and tasted like
nuts.—London Chronicle.
Afked Too Much.
In R. F. Jtbhuson’s book, “From Pe¬
kin to Mandalay,” the author tells the
story of a poor^Chiuese scholar uoted j ,
for his piety, wh<^ heard the voice <«f
an invisible being who spoke to him I
thus: “Yo,j* piety has found favor in
the sight of‘heaven. # Ask for
now
what you most long to possess, for I
am the messeuge# of the gods, and
they havepworn to grant your heart’s
desire.” ” said the poor scholar,
“for the coansest clothes and food, just
enough for my daily wants, and 1 beg
that I may have freedom to wander at
my will over mountain and fell and
woodland stream, free from ail world¬
ly cares, till my life’s end. That Is all
I ask.” tfetfdly had he spoken than
laughter the sky M||ped jot myriads, to be filled of unearthly with the
voices. ' jja jj ,yoo ask," cried the mes¬
senger W’Mjjlpu gods. “Know you not
that happfBss demanded is the high¬
est of the beings that dwell
In hcaveip Ask for wealth or rank
or what/ earthly happiness you will,
but not for yon are the* holiest joys of
the god»p
Tfiie Ungrateful Cuckoo.
To hear jtbe cuckoo’s cheery note you
might think he had the clearest con
science in the world. He csd have nel
ther memory hflp moral sense er be
so gttfy. We
> i
A Simple Remedy
Cardui is a purely vegetable extract, a simple, I
non-intoxicating remedy, recommended to girls and
women, falling feelings, of all ages, for Womanly pains, irregularity, and
nervousness, weakness, any
other form of sickness, peculiar to females.
CARDDI
It WU1 Help You
/
Mrs. A. C. Beaver, of Unicoi, Route No. 1, Mar
bleton, Term., writes: “I suffered with bearing
down pains, feet swelled, pain in right side, headache,
pains in shoulders, nervous palpitation, and other
troubles I cannot mention, but I took Wine of Cardui
and have found it the best medicine I ever used,
for female troubles.” Try Cardui.
AT ALL DRUG STORES
$500,000.00 TO LEND
on Farm Lands iu South Georgia, at 7 percent interest,
in amuunts of $1000 or above and due in 5 years.
I** If titles are good about of the value of property
will be loaned.
David C Barrow* Pelham, Ga«
FALL and WINTER 1909
I Our Fall and Winter lines of
j -to-wear Clothing for Men,
t. M .» ■.